Sugar Ray, Separate Beds and Babies
On Celebrity Wife Swap this week, Sugar Ray singer, Mark McGrath and wife Carin Kingsland admitted that they hadn’t slept in the same bed for months being the parents of two-year old twins.
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I have two girls. They are no longer toddlers and they aren’t twins, but I remember those days when we lived life exhausted. Tired was the norm. We’d go to sleep beat, wake up a few times during the night to deal with feedings, crying, or scary thoughts. Morning would come too soon, and we’d be off to work with burning red eys, yawning the entire day.
I get that bed was an escape. It was the place where you could possibly catch a few weeks before the inevitable. And, for Mark and Carin, sleeping in separate beds has less to do with their relationship, and more to do with parenting. By sleeping in their own beds with their children, they have a better chance of sleeping through the night, but at what cost? There are many who are cheering a movement of twin beds in a marriage, but sleeping with your spouse creates a bond and connection that nothing else can, and I’m not talking about the benefits of sex.
When we sleep with someone (real slumber) we are exposing ourselves, our true selves, at our most vulnerable to another human being. The make up is off. Hair is mussed. Crust in the eyes. Morning breath. Snoring. Talking in your sleep. By sleeping with someone, you are telling them that you trust and love them enough for them to see you at your worst, and you know that they will still be there for them in the morning.
I get that sleep is important and kids in a bed with two adults is a tough pill to swallow. So, instead of moving to separate beds, it’s time for the kids to move to their own. I know. Many will argue with me, but for the sanctity of the marriage, Mom and Dad need to connect. The kids will survive in their own beds. The best thing you can do for your children is have a strong connection as their parents. And, I think by the end of the episode Mark and Carin were getting that concept.
Sometimes you need to put the kids second and the marriage first so that all the pieces are in place for everyone.
