Sarah Holman's Blog, page 7

Episode #2: The Weekly Mercies of Pam Ellis

 

Welcome to episode 2 of The Weekly Mercies of Pam Ellis! I love writing these episodes and I can't wait to share more!

Make sure you sign up for my newsletter. Tomorrow (January 7th) I'm sending out some fun free goodies inspired by this story, deals, and a giveaway!

I had made a list. I was good at making lists. I likedmaking lists. That and planners, which is why I ended up accidentally withtwo planners this year and couldn’t decide which layout I liked better.

But I’m interrupting myself. My list.

This was a list of things I wanted to do to reclaim my joy.After all, the last year had been full of dark days, darker nights, and fightingto keep my head above water, so to speak. I was ready to get back to enjoyinglife.

I took a deep breath and looked at my closet, then I forcedmyself to set aside the list on the pretty sheets of stationery. It was onething to make a list, but it was another thing to do it. I planned to startwith what I had put at the top of the list.

I dug into the deepest recesses of my closet and pulled outthe candle-making kit I had been given at Christmas a year ago. I had been soexcited to get this kit from Jessie. Making candles had been a dream. Lavenderand vanilla scent oils had been included. These would smell amazing.

I swallowed as I pulled out each item, memories assaultingme of the day I had called my friend, Jessie, because I was going to use it. Ihad planned on making a candle for myself and one for her. I would ship it toher the very next day.

The phone had gone quiet.

“Pam, we need to talk. I was hoping we wouldn’t have tohave this discussion…”

What had followed was an hour-long trade of the ways I hadfailed Jessie. I had hurt her without realizing it and she had kept it toherself. She was angry and nothing I said, none of my apologies made it anybetter.

“I don’t think I can do this,” I whispered the words astears pricked my eyes. This kit had been given to me by a friend who wasn’t inmy life anymore. Maybe I should give this kit to someone at church or thethrift store.

My eyes were absently roving the room and they landed on mynew notebook. I reached for it and opened to the first page. I had already listedsome of God’s mercies. I ran my hand over the words already printed.

Thank you for Yourmercy in making me Your child

Today, I saw God’smercy reflected in a stranger, who was so understanding when we accidentallysold a book we were supposed to be holding for them. They could have so easilybeen angry.

Mercy: My familyloving me on my bad days.

Clearly, I hadn’t come up with a consistent way to recordthe mercies of God I saw around me. I looked back at the candle-making kit. Anodd sensation built inside of me, one that over the months of trying to makethings right for Jessie hadn’t often inspired in me.

I was angry.

I was angry a person I called a friend had pushed me out ofher life because she had chosen not to forgive me. I was angry that even now,she was poisoning something I wanted and loved because her memory tainted it.

Because you are letting it.

The truth slammed into me. I often felt as if God whisperedinto my heart but this felt like it was shouted into my mind.

The tears stopped.

I was done. I was done letting Jessie steal from me. I wouldalways miss her. I would always pray that somehow, some way, our friendshipwould be restored. Last year, she had taken hours of my time as I tried to doeverything she asked of me to restore our relationship. I had prayed and spenthours before God, asking Him to help me be a better friend. And it hadn’tworked. She had left, leaving me devastated.

But I was done letting her take from me. I would make thesecandles and I would try to enjoy it. I would gain back my hope

I read the instructions with the kit. I went into thekitchen, passing where my parents were both busy on their computers and two ofmy siblings were on the couch talking about their jobs.

I went into the kitchen and started a pot of water. I pouredthe whole one-pound bag of wax into the metal pitcher. I followed the directionscarefully. I let the wax melt, cool down just a touch and added the lavenderand vanilla scent. It smelled heavenly.

I realized I hadn’t prepped the containers so I rushed toput the wicks in place and then poured the wax into the glass

I stepped back. I had made candles. I smiled and stared at thewax, slowly cooling.

A tear slid down my cheek and brushed it away. This time, itwas from relief. I had used the kit and made something beautiful.  I marched into my room and added the words tothe mercies journal.

Even things that startwith pain can be redeemed by God’s mercy.

I took a deep breath and I felt like it was the first fullbreath I had taken in ages. I couldn’t wait to see what God had in store next.

Great is Thy Faithfulness: Sunday Song

 I love old hymns. One of the ones that I've sung a lot over the last year is this one. It has reminded me to look for God's mercies because they are really everywhere if you are looking for them.

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My Goals for 2025

 

Hey friends!
It's a new year and I have a lot of plans for this year! Okay, so I always come in with a lot of plans and don't follow through with a lot of them. Yet, I've been going over a lot of these with my husband and have been laying the groundwork for some of them since November. That's because I got the crazy idea to do a weekly serialized story on my blog. I have had so much fun (and some just plain hard work) through December prepping some posts and content for this year. 
Now to share my goals for the year:

For the last four or five years, I've been doing deep studies of books of the bible and some seasonal reading plans. I'm looking forward to diving back into reading the bible straight through in a year. 

I know my readers have good reason to doubt my sincerity on this one. I have written the last two books of the Kate's Case Files and planned to have them out months ago. Life had other plans. While 2024 wasn't a bad year, it was one filled with some bumps that consumed a lot of my time and attention. 

This was my goal last year and I made it! I plan to do this again this year which ties into another one of my goals... I've been working on reading through all the books I've picked up over the years this year as well as last year. I'm determined to finish up this project in 2025.
I'm sad that while I've made this a goal, it hasn't happened in the last couple of years. I'm hoping I can make it happen this year.
Last, but not least, I plan to go back over my older published work and re-edit and update covers on them. I'm both excited and nervous about this.
What is your reading goal for the year?

The Weekly Mercies of Pam Ellis: Episode 1

 

Happy New Year! Welcome to a secret project I've been working on: a serialized story for my blog! I'm excited to introduce you to Pam and her fight to regain hope and joy after a hard year. Check back every Monday for new episodes.

3. 2. 1.

Happy New Year.

Instead of cheers and clapping, I sank to the floor and criedas if I had lost everything.

And considering the last year, it almost felt that way. Ididn’t usually stay up to see the new year, but I wanted to make sure thedreaded year had left.

In the space of the last year I had watched my parents growapart, my best friend had told me we couldn’t be friends anymore, the man I hadsecretly loved for years had moved to be part of a church plant far away. Itwas the year I had clung so fiercely to my faith, and yet had left me beggingGod for something anything good.

It had been the worst year of my life. Now, it was gone. I wishedI felt more relief. No, what I wanted was to feel hope.

I pulled myself into my desk chair and glanced toward mybible and then at my laptop. Neither option seemed like it would offer muchrelief from the pain inside of me. However, I opened the laptop. I opened mybrowser and scrolled on social media. It was a bad habit I had acquired butwasn’t sure I wanted to fight it.

I paused when I saw a perky, flat-stomached girl holding upa sign with a title. “This year is full of hope.”

It wasn’t a page I followed but I took the bait.

We all need hope for the new year, am I right?

Well, let’s make our own hope!

This year, I am choosing to make time for ME a priority.I will be doing one thing each week to be creative and fun. I’m bringing backsome of the fun of my childhood by finally treating myself to Disney Land I’vealways wanted but was denied. Will you join me in making hope?

I rolled my eyes and continued scrolling. What a shallow emptykind of hope. If hope wasn’t bigger then me, it wasn’t much hope.

That’s when I saw it. On a green background with goldishlettering, she saw His Mercy is More. Oh! Carol posted it. She had followedCarol’s account for years, but she hadn’t posted much in the last few months. Iread the caption.

Hey friends,

I have missed all of you. The community I have hereonline is precious to me.

This has been a rough few months for me and I wasn’t surehow to share about it online because it felt so sensitive.

When I got married four years ago, I fully expected to be a mom within a year. I suppose, technically, I am a mother, but none of mybabies have lived past the seven-week mark in my womb. We’ve sought medicaladvice and no one has a clue what’s going on.

There’s some other stress going on in my life with myfamily, but it isn’t mine to share. Like I said, this hasn’t been an easy fewmonths, but I keep coming back to the phrase from the song I love so much

His mercy is more.

As I enter the new year, I’m determined to keep a recordof God’s mercies each day to remind myself of all He is to me and all He hasdone. I also plan to do something every day to slow myself down and enjoy thebeauty God has created around me.

Will you join me? I’m calling in the weekly mercieschallenge

I stared at the post. Tears filled my eyes. I had no ideathis woman was struggling to have children or had miscarriages. She was one ofthe accounts I hated because I saw her and her husband happy and adorable whilethe person I still loved was far away and had probably forgotten about me.

I opened up the comments and took a deep breath. I saw manyothers were signing their names like they were signing a contract. I decided todo the same. I needed this. I needed to change. I needed this year to be betterthan the last.

My fingers hovered above the keyboard for a moment and thenI typed: I, Pam Ellis, am taking the weekly mercies challenge.

I let out a long breath, this was going to be hard. It wouldbe challenging. However, I would start…right after I slept.

Working retail during the holidays was nutty, but Januaryfelt like a respite. I glanced around the storefront and let out a happy sigh.Not many people got to work at a book and tea store. My Weekend Is Booked to aTea was located in a strip shopping center, right between a pizza place and a video game store. Not the kind of place one would expect a cute little storefull of tea, Christian fiction, and classic books, but here we were.

I walked over and grabbed a Lavender Vanilla tea bag andplucked it in my travel mug and poured steaming water over it. I was so gratefulI was allowed to help myself to two or three bags of tea a day as an employee.

I took a deep breath of one of my favorite teas. I adoredlavender. I loved that it was calming as well as had a floral feel.

“Pam! The new notebooks just arrived!” My boss called.

Setting my tea down. I turned toward the back room. Lacy stoodamid several boxes with a box cutter in hand. This woman and her husband Jaredco-owed this place. Somehow, they made it when other bookstores were failing.

“Too bad these didn’t arrive for the Christmas season.” Iopened a box and saw the beautiful watercolor cover with a verse printed on thefront. I could have sold all of these in November and December.

“God has other plans for these notebooks.”

I didn’t understand how Lacy could always be so confident inwhat God had for her. But she was.

“And the discount we got after these came in late will allowus to sell them for less. So, I would say, it should be good for business.”

I opened another box and stopped.  A wood background with lavender sprigs greetedme. In a scrolling letter, the cover read:

His Mercies were New Every Morning.

I had found the notebook to record the mercies I found eachday. I would start with my job, lavender tea, and finding this notebook.

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How has this last year been for you? Share in the comments and I'll leave a prayer for you for your coming year.

Merry Christmas

 

Merry Christmas my friends!
I have a lot of fun stuff coming to this space in the new year, but wanted to take a moment to share our Christmas card with all of you.

My Books Part 2: The B's

 I know. I'm very late in posting this next part, but I'm excited to share more about the books that occupy space on my shelf. Today, we are looking at the books that start with the books with authors with B last names.

I haven't read this one yet. I picked it up at a library sale. I recently read (and loved) both Authentically, Izzy, and Positively, Penelope by this author. I'm looking forward to seeing if I love this one as much.  While perhaps not my favorite books, Claire Banchbach is a gifted writer and I loved meeting her in person. I love having books by people I've met on my shelf.
These books, this series, is among my all-time favorites. There is just something about these books that have seeped deep into my heart. I highly recommend you read The Genesis Trilogy by Kacy Barnett-Gramckow. I love how compelling these stories are while clearly displaying the author's belief that the Bible is literally true. 
Chuck Black was a favorite in my teen years. I need to read some of his most recent work, but The Kingdom Series was so good and I adored Lady Carliss. I'm glad to have these in my collection.
After loving the Exptordnary Deaths of Mrs. Kipp, I preordered The Divine Proverb of Streusel. I love this author's realistic characters, strong Christians, and well-woven stories. This story was beautiful and has a cover to match.
This book, The Lady of Lanaria by Michaela Bush is a very sweet Repunzal retelling. I pre-ordered a copy on a whim a few years back and I'm so happy I did.
Kelsey Bryant is a dear friend, fellow author, and I adore her stories. I have this series and...
I shelve the Vintage Jane Austen series with her books. Because these stories have to be kept together.

There you have it, the B's. Have you read any of these books?

Life Full

The last few weeks, I've been grateful for how full and wonderful life has been. The wildflower season in central Texas has been amazing. Scott and I went to Inks Lake State Park and were blown away by the beauty.

Easter weekend with my family was a delight. Here are a couple shots we got Easter Day.

But life is not all fields of wildflowers. Of late, I've been really struggling with some depression and energy level issues. It hasn't been a fun season. It's frustrating when life is so beautiful and wonderful, and your emotions are on board. 
Some mornings, I've made tea in my china cups, or put on peppy praise music to help remind my emotions and soul that, despite how I'm feeling, life is beautiful and sweet. It's one of the things I love most about being in my thirties. I have enough years behind me that I know that these feelings will only hold me back for a season. In fact, this last weekend, they started to lift.
I got to throw my sister Rose a sunshine-themed baby shower. I'm excited to get to hold my little nephew this summer!
On the writing front, I am making very, very slow progress on editing the next Kate's Case Files book. But, I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. Here's to hoping lots of progress can be made over the next couple of weeks. 

My Books Part 1: The A's

Welcome back to my bookshelf!

Today, I am going to share my fiction books by authors that end with an A, starting with...
Louisa May Alcott has been a favorite. This copy of Little Women was my mother's. Years ago, when I was in my teens, I read aloud from this very copy to my sisters. My mom gave me the copy after that.
Here are my copies of Jack and Jill and Under the Lilacs. Both books are so precious.
Another cover of Little Women and one of Joe's Boys.
This is by a different author, but about Meg. I remember liking these years ago, but we shall see at some point if they are as good as I remember.
I have paperbacks of these two wonderful Jane Austen-type books Friendship and Folly and Letters to Julia by Meredith Allady. Letters to Julia is my favorite of the two.
These books are by Elisabeht Allen. An English author I adore. Her Charity's Diary Trilogy is among my favorite of all time. The Abolitionist is another wonderful, Jane Austen-type story.
While I'm not a huge fantasy fan, I did have the privilege to meet Kendra Ardnek and so I got a couple of signed books.
A Cry From Egypt is a wonderful biblical fiction piece for younger readers. I really need to continue this series. 
Last but not least, is my Jane Austen collection. Not only do I have copies of her books, but I also have a couple of books about her and her works I've decided to store next to her fiction because that is where I will look for it. Oh, and of course, the paper dolls of Pride and Prejudice. 
I'm going to try to make this at least a weekly thing, so stop by again!

Ready for a Special Easter Story?

 

This post has Amazon affiliate links. Thank you for using me and supporting me with your purchases.
Hey friends! I'm excited to give you some bookish news today! My newest Easter story, An Easter Cantcle, has been released! This is the third installment of the Maple Leaf Chronicles. Here is a bit about the book:

But that's not the only release this month...
A Very Bookish Celebration is a flash fiction (short stories that are 1000 words or less) collection with many holidays represented. I have four stories in this collection for the following holidays:~ New Years (Featuring some of the characters from the Maple Leaf books)~ Palm Sunday (Featuring Molly from the book Molly and Anna)~ Juneteenth~ Rosh HashanaOh and don't forget....

Here are some quotes I love from the Easter Canticle. 









Are you ready to read it?

The Beautiful Mundane

This month has been... a normal challenge. Right now, I see all the ups and downs, but I know in a few years, if you ask me what I did in February of this year, I may or may not be able to tell you. It has had it's ups and it's downs. I'd like to share some of it with you.

I have found that menu planning and grocery shopping are among my favorite household tasks. I know, I'm weird. But I adore planning and it's my happy place when I make good meals that we both like and are good for our budget. And I'm grateful for this super cute menu board that hangs on my fridge.
I finally got to unbox my books this month. I pulled out a few to read right away. These were two of them. I don't usually struggle with anxiety, but I'm dealing with some health challenges that have had me battling both. Reading helps me both escape as well as be more focused. I find that if my thoughts are spinning out of control, I do better distracting my brain with a story for a bit and then I can focus my prayers better and deal with the issue head-on. 
I started this month by diving deep into working on writing the 9th Kate book. I've also started on rewrites/edits for book 8. My hope is to finish the series this year.
Scott was reading the first chapters and thought it was good
Scott and I have started the habit of him reading aloud most evenings while I work on a project. It has been so good for both of us. It really helps me to get less screen time.

On the 6th, we celebrated three years of being a couple. We took a trip up to Tyler State Park. It was beautiful and the whole day was so peaceful. We enjoyed hiking, eating Mexican food, and exploring a new place







My dear friend Kelsey drove all the way down to see me!

We have been friends for years. We used to meet once a month for lunch and to talk. Now we are married and live too far apart to make this happen. Yet, I have been so blessed for the effort she has made to see me when we can. We still read a classic each month together and are making some bookish plots for the future. All I will say on the subject for now is there are some older authors we want to bring to the attention of others.
Oh, and getting my bookshelves was kinda the highlight of this month. I not only got shelves, I got amazing ones. Never did I think I would have such amazing shelves.

How have you been?