Sarah Holman's Blog, page 5

Sunday Song: When We Fail Love

 

I couldn't find a good video of this song by Kyle Matthews. However, I really wanted to share it with you

Pick up the pieces

Let's see what’s been broken

What's become of us

How do we manage

To do so much damage

To the ones we love

When we care so much

When we fail love, it's hard to take

The expectations are so great

We raise our hopes, we dream our dreams

And then we do some foolish things

But love that comes easy will easily give up

When we fail love, we've got to trust the love

That won't fail us

I can't swim the ocean

That's growing between us

The shores are too far apart

So sail to the spot

Where the water is deepest

Where we have to face

This storm with faith

When we fail love, it's hard to take

The expectations are so great

We raise our hopes, we dream our dreams

And then we do some foolish things

But love that comes easy will easily give up

When we fail love, we've got to trust the love

That won't fail us

But love that comes easy will easily give up

When we fail love, we've got to trust the love

That won't fail us

When we fail love, we've got to trust the love

That won't fail us

When we Fail Love by Kyle Matthews

Our Vacation

 

Four years ago on February 6th, 2021, Scott told me he loved me and wanted to pursue a serious relationship. We always try to commemorate the day in a special way. We enjoyed three days and two nights away this year, a much-needed break. We've both been busy working on various tasks and it was nice to enjoy some quiet time together, good food, and hiking. 

We stayed at a cabin at Lake Brownwood State Park, which is special to us. We stayed here for our first anniversary and for my birthday in 2023. We were so happy to be back. This was the first time we had spent much time exploring the town of Brownwood. We enjoyed a fabulous bookstore and a local steak place.

The next day, we enjoyed going to a new-to-us State Park: Abilene. 

Scott made an amazing dinner for us that evening and we enjoyed an evening hike at Lake Brownwood.

On our last day, we returned to Colorado Bend State Park. We had been here once before and adored it. It was a strenuous hike that felt amazing. We saw a cave opening, returned to the Gorman Falls, and enjoyed scenic views.

I am so grateful for this time together to enjoy some hiking and time together. Where has been your favorite place to hike?

5 Reasons I Love Novellas

 

Do you like novellas? I really enjoy them and I'm spending this month sharing about some of my favorites on my social media accounts. But why do I like them so much?

1. They are the perfect length for busy weeks.

While I adore longer novels, sometimes being able to read a complete story that still has plenty of substance to them that short stories often lack.

2. They come in such fun sizes.

Many of the novellas I've read/own are much smaller than a regular novel, which is just fun, or the perfect feel for a sick day.

3. They make for tight storytelling

As both a writer and a reader, I have found shorter lengths can help force tight storytelling. I've found this to be both fun and a challenge. How do you convey all the emotion and story but with fewer words?

4. Novella series can feel like TV episodes, only better

Series like The Accidental Cases of Emily Abbot are quick reads that feel like fun TV episodes but still have the depth of the reading experience. AKA, my brain doesn't turn off like it does for movies.

5. They can help you meet your reading goals

If I'm falling behind in my reading goal, I like to read a couple of novellas to get me back on track. And in December, there are a lot of Christmas novellas to help me with the last push to make my reading goal for the year.

Why do you like novellas?

The Weekly Mercies of Pam Ellis: Episode #6

 

Crystal and I had texted every day. She had asked a coupleof questions about what had happened with Jessie. When I told her I didn’t thinkI should share anymore to keep from gossiping, she respected it. As it was,I was worried I had shared too much. If Jessie returned to my life, would Iregret what I had shared?

As I looked over the bookstore, I didn’t think I would everregret breaking down in front of Crystal. It had been healing and hadencouraged my heart. I smiled at the homeschool group sprawled over our couchesand chairs near the tea area, many of them with beverages I had prepared, goingover Little Women. I continued to cut apart the Valentine-themed bookmarks.

I should reread that one at some point. Right now, I wasrereading The Happy Hollisters at Sea Gull Beach. It had been myfavorite as a child. I had worn out a copy. Perhaps because there was a girlnamed Pam, but I also loved the treasure-hunting aspect.

Jared stepped into my field of vision, carrying a box of teas.I reached for it but he pulled it away. “Would you please make some suitablysoothing tea for Lacie? She’s dealing with morning sickness, but won’t stopworking.” He sighed as he glanced toward the backroom. “That woman is sostubborn.”

I smothered a smile and nodded. “I’d be happy to make hersome tea.”

Jared nodded and moved toward the tea counter and thenturned back. “Please don’t tell her I asked you to do it.”

I nodded and moved with him. I kept out of the way with hisrestocking while I took a teabag with lavender and mint and dropped it into oneof the mugs. I poured steaming water over it and walked back toward the backroom.

Lacie stood amid some signage advertising our book clubprogram and our upcoming calendar. She looked exhausted and kept pausing andputting a hand to her mouth. Not a good sign.

“I brought you something.” I held out the mug.

She crossed her arms and stared at the mug like I might begiving her something lethal. “Jared told you I was falling apart, didn’t he?”

I shook my head. “No. He told me you were dealing withmorning sickness and would I please make you tea and not tell you he hadasked.”

Her irritation slid away and a laugh burst forth. “But youjust told me.”

“I thought it was the safer option.”

Lacie let out a long sigh and took the mug. She plopped downon the floor. “He told me I shouldn’t come today and work, but I was determined.”A tear slipped down her face. “I love this place. Just because I have anotherbaby on the way, I don’t to lose what I love.”

I dropped beside her. “Maybe you shouldn’t look at it as youare losing the store, but just in a season where it is wise to accept some helpand slow down.”

And the same goes for you.

The words in my head made me swallow. One of the things onmy list was to seek out a mentor who would help me navigate things or possiblya counselor if I didn’t feel I could share with anyone in my church. When I hadwritten it on the list, it had seemed so easy. But it was hard to do.

“You’re right. I should have let Jared come, do the work, andthen take me to dinner.”

I glanced around at the signs and the boxes that needed tobe sorted onto the stocking shelves. “Why don’t you have him take you to lunchand let me do this work today. I know it will put me into overtime, but let medo it for you this once.”

“Yes, let’s pay her and get out of here,” Jared spoke up fromthe doorway. “And there is a customer at the counter who needs tea if youcan, Pam.”

I nodded and left and smiled as I caught a loving lookbetween Lacie and Jared. They were the best.

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I swallowed back my fear and I walked up to Joan, one of thesweetest ladies in our church. I cleared my throat.

She turned and smiled. “Pam? How are you?”

I decided that now was a good time to start with perfecthonesty. “It’s…last year was rough and has left me feeling like I’m fallingapart. I was hoping…I thought maybe…” I mentally shook myself and forced outthe words. “I would like you to mentor me and maybe see if we could sort somethings out.”

Her smile softened and she reached out a hand and touched myshoulder. “Would you like to go to lunch today?”

“Today?” I nearly choked on the words. For some reason, Ithought she would plan for us to get together in a month or so.

Don’t miss what God might have for you here.

“I don’t have anything, but I came in the car with myfamily. So…”

She waved her hand. “I’ll drop you by your house. Let me gotell Fred he should go with the pastor’s family to the BBQ place he loves.”

I watched her walk away and prayed that I would be able todo this.

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I guess I had expected lawyer-like examinations and proppingquestions and for mentoring to be…well painful. Joan made the lunch a wonderfultime. She asked me to tell me about my childhood, my family, and my job. Shewas so kind and interested in me.

When I touched on some of the things I had dealt with theyear before she didn’t prob for details, but asked me how I was coping.

“I…Some times are better than others.” I told her all aboutmy mercies notebook and all the things I was doing each week to bring out joyagain.

She nodded and took a sip of the hot tea she had orderedafter her meal. “It sounds like you are off to a good start. Tell me, how areyou renewing your mind though? It sounds like a lot of lies and doubts werepoured into you. What are you doing to replace it with the truth?”

I hung my head. “I haven’t been doing well with my biblereading or…anything. I have felt so overwhelmed.”

She nodded.

I mentally braced myself for the lecture.

“I know how that is. I remember going through about threemonths after my youngest got her cancer diagnosis where I read my bible and itfelt like it did nothing to me. All these people talked about times of trialbeing sweet times with Jesus and I was so dry.”

Well, I hadn’t prepared for this response. “Really? How didyou deal with that?”

She smiled like she had a secret. “I kept showing up. Oneday, I still remember I opened the bible and I read the verse about not growingweary of doing good for in due season you’ll reap a harvest. I cried. For thefirst time in months, I felt something. For about two weeks after that, it feltlike every time I opened the Bible, something wonderful would leap off thepage.” She reached across the table and put her wrinkled hand over mine. “Befaithful. Keep doing good.”

I swallowed back my emotion and nodded. I didn’t have words,but I would hold on to hers.

When I reached home, I grabbed my mercies notebook andjotted down from an overflowing heart.

Mercies this week:

God’s faithfulness,even when I am not

Joan’s gentle andhumble words

God’s word

 

Learn about the Happy Hollister series HERE.You can get the Happy Hollisters at Sea Gull Beach HERE (Affiliate Link)

Sunday Song: Love Lifted Me

 

I spent several of my early years in a church that sang old hymns. I adored the songs and many of them continue to bless me.

This is one about God's love that I loved singing as a child and still love it.

January 2025 Wrap-up

Photos from the month:

Books I Read

Becoming Elisabeth Elliot by Ellen Vaughn Audiobook

The Outdoor Girls of Deepdale by Laura Lee Hope Kindle

When Christians Disagree by Tim Cooper Audiobook

A New Name by Grace Livingston Hill Paperback

 Paperback

The Trial by Charlotte Mary Yonge Kindle

Jesus, the One and Only Beth Moore Kindle

Watermelon Days and Firefly Nights by Annette Smith Kindle

Angels in the Snow Melody Carlson Hardback

Worship is This by Heather Bixler Kindle

The Grace and Truth Paradox by Randy Alcorn Hardback

Being Elisabeth Elliot by Ellen Vaughn Audiobook

Coming Through the Rye by Grace Livingston Hill Paperback

Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis Audiobook

Writing goals met:

Kate's Truth off to the editor ✅

10 episodes of Pam Ellis written ✅

Create Kate's Truth Cover 😁✅

Create Kate's Case Files paperbacks for past books ❌ (Moving this to February's list)

Post daily on social media ✅

Create Kate's Turth digital bundle 😁✅

Projects completed

An awesome shower book-themed baby shower ✅

 

Favorite sermon this month

Romans 8: 31-32: God is For You by a guest preacher at our church

Favorite memory:

Kelsey's baby shower

The book exchange

Scott and I going to the bookstore together

How did your January go?

Lockhart State Park

 

Welcome back to our Texas State Park Hiking adventures!
Today, I'm going to talk about Lockhart State Park. This park is small (just under four miles of hiking trails) but has some pretty special features. It was built by the CCC in 1935 and there are some pretty special features you can still see made by the CCC, including the recreation hall, the golf course, the old swimming pool and a few smaller water retention areas.

I love this park f. One, even the most challenging trails are pretty easy. It's a great way to get a good workout, without feeling miserable if you haven't been hiking in a while
I love all the water. It's so pretty to see the flowing creek and just enjoy the sound and sight of it.
The trails are shaded pretty much all the time. It's a nice place to walk and not have the sun on you (except in the middle of winter, because most of the trees don't have leaves then).
The flowers are wonderful! Pretty much all year you will find flowers blooming. It's fun to hunt up. My favorite are the Turks Caps and Lantana 
We have enjoyed two separate hikes at this state park and we were easily able to walk the whole park both times.
Here is some of that CCC work as well as flowing water.
Suggested Hiking Routes:Get the park map HERE.
Our favorite route (2-4 hours depending on your speed):Park at the Recreation Hall (point of interest #5 on the map)Take the CCC Trail to the roadWalk along the road and pick up Clear Forks TrailContinue on Clear Forks Trail and enjoy Wild Rose LoopAfter Wild Rose Loop continue on Clear Forks Trail When you reach the end of Clear Forks Trail, walk along the road to pick up Creekview TrailTake Creekview to Persimmon TrailContinue on Persimmon Trail until you reach Fenceline TrailWalk Fenceline Trail all the way to Chisholm TrailTake Chisholm Trail to Caddy TrailContinue on Caddy Trail back to the Recreation Hall

The quick tour highlight route (30-45 minutes):Park at the playground and see the CCC Swiming pool remains and then walk to see the dam/waterfall a little further down (points of interest #1 and #2 respectively)Park at the Recreation Hall Take the CCC Trail to the Caddy TrailTake the Caddy Trail back to the recreation HallLooke around the Recreation Hall, Water tower ruins, and old tee box (points #5, #6, and #7).Drive to the fishing area to see the water


Facts to know:Is this a CCC park? Yes!Do you need to make a reservation? While always recommended, this one isn't often at capacity.Sarah's favorite spots: The creek, the CCC waterfall, Creekview trail.What else can I do at this park? Play golf (you can rent everything you need), swim in the swimming pool, there is also a playground.Camping? There are tent and RV sites. (We have never camped here)

Episode 5: The Weekly Mercies of Pam Ellis

I had donated to the fundraiser for Jessie’s Dad. Since Icould do it anonymously, with neither my family nor Jessie knowing I had, I didit. Because I still cared even if she didn’t want me in her life.

I entered My Weekend Is Booked to a Tea through the backdoor. I would be manning the store alone today. Lacie and Jared were takingtheir kids out on an adventure and telling them that Lacie was expecting again.This would be her second baby, but her fourth child in the house. Molly andAnna would be excited. Little Hosanna probably wouldn’t understand, but stillbe happy.

I turned on the lights and started the hot water. I liked opening the store and getting it off to a good start. Then my phone dinged, and I looked down at it. It was a social media post by a teacher I often found encouraging.

Behind on your Bible reading plan already? Three strategiesto help you not give up.

I slapped my forehead. I hadn’t even thought about a readingplan. What was wrong with me? Here it was almost the end of January and I hadread my Bible probably three times a week at the most. No, probably less thanthat.

I dropped to the floor and the tears spilled over.

“God! I can’t do this! I’m exhausted trying to find joy, totry new things, to try to heal. And I’m failing at it all.”

I had failed as a friend. I was failing my God who had savedme and redeemed me. What else would I mess up in my life? My family? My job?

“And I am so, so tired of the tears,” I whispered. Whywasn’t I feeling the joy yet?

I lifted my eyes and stood. The display of small woodensigns needed straightening. I adjusted the signs and saw a customerhad shoved one sign behind another.

Count your blessings.

I let out a long breath. I didn’t feel like it but hadn’tone of the things on my list been a gratitude jar? It would be like God’smercies I was writing down in the notebook, but it would be a little more visible.

I set the sign down in the correct place and took a stepback. I didn’t think I could be grateful right now, not when I was failing ateverything.

I plastered on a smile and hoped Crystal would be in a hurryto be back on the road. I didn’t feel in the mood to hang out with anyone. I wantedto go home, throw that stupid list of things to do and mercy notebook in the trash, and then indulge in some stupid show that would be mind-numbing and then sleep forabout ten hours, preferably without any dreams.

Yes, I was in a bad mood and I didn’t know how to hide it. Mysmile wouldn’t stay in place if I wasn’t thinking about it. Maybe it was a goodthing Crystal was meeting me at my job. Maybe I could invent a work excuse. PerhapsI could suddenly remember an urgent something that needed to be done in theback room. However, that would be lying. I didn’t need to fail more as a Christian.

“Pam!”

I turned and plastered on the smile again. “Hi, Crystal.” Iknew my enthusiasm didn’t match hers, but I couldn’t. Not today. I was barelyholding it together.

“It’s so good to see you. I was remembering that readersretreat you, Jessie, and I went on and realized it’s been two years since wedid that and that’s the last time we were together. Can you believe it?”

You know how in the films when everything freezes and themain character is suddenly transported back to a memory and then the presentfades back in? Well, mentioning the reader retreat was like that for me. It hadbeen an amazing week and we had fun. And it was that week Jessie had said I hadruined our friendship.

“Have you heard from Jessie in the last couple of days?”Crystal asked. “She hasn’t replied to my last text.”

I shook my head slowly. I felt like I was treading ondangerous ground. I didn’t know how to talk about Jessie without being raw. So,I just didn’t talk to anyone but God about her, well, and my mother at times.

“Well, that worries me. I know she was worried her dad mighthave to have surgery. When was the last time you heard from her?”

Wow, now here was a question there was no easy answer to. Ilet my shoulders drop. I was too tired and discouraged to fight this.

“October seventeenth.” My words were monotone even to me. Isuddenly felt so numb and tired. Why was it only two in the afternoon? Whycouldn’t it be time to close, go home, and sleep?

Crystal cocked her head. “October? Pam, what’s going on? Youtwo used to be so close and I used to be a very happy third wheel to your duo.What happened?”

I sank onto the stool by the register. “I…Jessie…” I took adeep breath. “I said and did some things during the weekend of that retreat whichhurt Jessie deeply. I didn’t know it at the time but… I wounded our friendshipbeyond repair.”

Crystal shook her head slowly. “That doesn’t make sense. Thethree of us were together the whole time. I don’t remember anything you did…”

I pressed my lips together, trying to figure out what Ishould and shouldn’t say. “Remember the book exchange and the signed copy ofthe Nutcracker retelling I stole from her?”

“I remember, didn’t she laugh and you offered to give it backto her when we got back to our room?”

I swallowed. “Well, that hurt her feelings, and also rememberwho we…I went on and on about that fantasy book?”

“Oh yes, that one we all hated.”

“She loves it.”

“She did? Why didn’t she say anything?”

A question I had asked myself so many times and asked herquite a few times to her directly.

I stared down at my hands. “Well, I hurt her by what I said.Along with a few other incidents that were between her and me. We tried to workit out but in October… I just hadn’t been able to do enough to repair therelationship.”

“You hadn’t done enough? Pam, it isn’t about what you do.You can’t earn forgiveness. It’s given and received.”

I struggled to find words that were true and also kindtoward my friend. I decided to use the words Jessie had told me in October. “Butsometimes, you do so much damage, forgiveness is given but restoration isimpossible.”

Crystal’s arm came around me. “Oh, Pam. I’m so sorry.”

I lost it again. The tears spilled down my face. “I tried sohard to fix it, Crystal. I just…I had damaged it too much. I’m such a mess andI don’t have a bible reading plan and I just want hope and joy again,” Iblabbered like an idiot. “I don’t want to come between you and Jessie. Itreally was… I did some stupid things that hurt her without realizing it.”

Crystal squeezed me tighter. “Pam, you are not a mess – you’rehurting. I’m not going to stop being your friend, okay?”

I finally hugged her back and my tears subsided. “I’m sorry.I didn’t mean to fall apart on you.”

She shook her head as she pulled away. “Sounds like you havea lot piled inside. Come on, let’s get some tea and talk.”

I swallowed. “I…I don’t want to gossip about Jessie. Iprobably already shared too much.”

Crystal shook her head. “It was bound to come out at somepoint she wasn’t talking to you. I see you blame yourself. How about we talkabout other things entirely? Like maybe a reading plan?”

I let out a sigh. “I realized today I haven’t been reading my bible much and I don’t have a reading plan for the year. I feel likea failure.”

“Well, it’s never too late to start a plan. I did one lastyear which was wonderful. I read through some of the smaller books of the bibleand really dug into them. It was nicer than trying to keep up with a lot of dailyreading.”

The idea sparked hope that I could do that. “It sounds good.”

AsI sat in my room, I decided meeting with Crystal had given me more hope than 

Sunday Song: Come Thou Fount

 

This hymn has been a favorite since childhood. It's meaning grows richer the older I get.

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Classics I'm Reading this Year: 2025

One of the greatest gifts God has given me is my friendship with Kelsey Bryant. She is an author, editor, and godly woman who has walked me through a lot of years and changes in life. We connected in 2012, met in person in 2013, and have been friends ever since.

Kelsey is a lover of classics. It was her influence that finally had me jumping in and reading them for myself. Every year, starting in 2018, we read a classic a month together. We're at it again this year. Here is our list.

January ~ The Trial by Charlotte Mary Yonge

February ~ A Garland for Girls by Louisa May Alcott

March ~ Mansfield Park by Jane Austen

April ~ The Master of Ballantrae by Robert Louis Stevenson

May ~ Hudson Taylor's Spiritual Secrets by Dr. and Mrs.Howard Taylor

June ~ Quo Vadis by Henryk Sienkiewicz

July ~ Life with Father by Clarence Day Jr

August ~ Arabian Nights

September ~ Anne's House of Dreams by L.M. Montgomery

October ~ Woman in White by Wilkie Collins

November ~ Waverley by Walter Scott

December ~ Hans Brinker and the Silver Skates by Mary MapesDodge

What do you think of the list? Any favorites of yours on here?