Sarah Holman's Blog, page 3

March Wrap-Up

 

Photos from the Month:

Books I've Read:

The Bookshop Girl by Sylvia Bishop Hardback

The Birthright by Janette Oke and T. Davis Bunn Audiobook

Help for the Hungry Soul by Kristen Wetherell Audiobook

The Distant Beacon by Janette Oke and T. Davis Bunn Audiobook

100 Ways To Love Your Husband by Lisa Jacobson Paperback

The Beloved Land by Janette Oke and T. Davis Bunn Audiobook

A Year of Flowers by Suzanne Woods Fisher Paperback

A Bear Called Paddington by Michael Bond Paperback

Mansfield Park by Jane Austen Audiobook

The Wars Between England and America by Theodore Clarke Smith Kindle

Job's Niece by Grace Livingston Hill Paperback

Further Still: A Collection of Poetry and Vignettes by Beth Moore Kindle

Writing goals met:

Kate's Truth is up for preorder

Favorite Sermon:

2 Corinthians 12:10: Pleased with Weakness

Favorite Memories:

Going to two state parks in one day with my Dad and my husband

Visiting my grandparents

Decorating for spring

Spring gardens and walks

Episode #14: The Weekly Mercies of Pam Ellis

“I don’t think Molly has stopped chattering about her timewith you.”

I smiled as I took a sip of my lavender vanilla tea. “I’m soglad. I enjoyed having her.”

Jared set the box of tea down behind the counter. “She'sgrowing up so fast. I want to be the best uncle-father I can be to her. But aswe are in the double-digits now, I’m less and less sure I can be what I need tobe to her.”

I swallowed, thinking of how both my parents were distantthese days as they struggled to rebuild their marriage. I swallowed. “I’m sureyou being there for her will mean more to her than she will ever know.”

He sighed. “I just remember how excited she was when Lacieand I got married. How full of gladness she was. She loved Pollyanna and alwaysplayed the glad game. Now, mostly I hear about how she wishes her own parentswere alive and how annoying it is to have a baby sister around. Heaven help uswhen our next little one arrives.”

I pressed my lips together and I unloaded the boxes of teaonto the shelf for display, enjoying the cozy feeling of being in the shop asthe spring rain poured down. “Can I suggest you find something fun to do withher? I was recently reminded by my siblings that it’s important to have funtogether during times of turbulence and change. I bet Molly would benefit from thetwo of you doing something fun.”

“That’s an idea. Any suggestions on what we do?”

I turned toward him as I finished putting the cherry blossomtea next to the raspberry rose tea. “Well, I’m going to do one of those onlinepainting tutorials this evening. I think my siblings have decided to join me. Itshould be fun.”

“Molly does like creative things. I should try that. Send methe link?”

I nodded. I just hoped this worked for him and for me.

 

While I had envisioned that my siblings and I would have agood time with lots of laughter, I hadn’t anticipated my siblings laughing somuch at the instructor.

To be fair, the instructor was fond of adjectives and chosesome pretty fun ones to describe the river, trees, and tiny log cabin we werepainting.

“A jolly log?” Asa said, laughing. Hehadn’t painted a thing on his canvas. “I have the sudden urge to go reread the Chroniclesof Narnia. Jolly good.”

Now he had me wanting to read them, but not because of theword jolly. But later today, I would pick up my favorite, the Horse and His Boy, and reread it.

“A luscious river,” Ben teased, striking a pose. “My what aluscious river. It puts me in mind of a dinner I had once.”

I couldn’t help laughing with them. But while they werefunny, I couldn’t help but be irritated. This was not the painting partyI had envisioned. I took a deep breath. I didn’t want to be irritated. I wantedto allow my siblings to have fun, even if it wasn’t how I wanted them to havefun.

I wanted to be humble and set myself aside like Jesus. Whichwas getting harder as my brothers now turned their humor towards ourpaintings.

“That doesn’t look like pleasant oceans green, Pam.”

I took a deep breath and tried to figure out how to respond.I caught Ivy’s eyes.

“Guys, Pam wanted to paint. I think…"

“And what is that!” Asa laughed as he pointed to my attemptat a bunny in the corner of the painting.

I took a deep breath and tried to control my words. “Asa,Ben, I know that you think this guy is funny but please don’t make fun of mywork. If you don’t want to join us…”

Asa huffed. “Don’t be so uptight.”

Ben looked into my eyes and then at Asa but said nothing.

“Hey!” Meg rarely raised her voice, but she could beloud when she wanted to be. “Guys, you can have fun and not be mean.”

“I wasn’t trying to be mean, it’s just that-”

Ben cleared his throat. “Asa, if the girls find it mean,then I think you should stop even if it wasn’t your intention to be mean.”

I nodded toward Ben. I knew it had cost him. He didn’tlike to confront people and he hated being out of sorts with Asa.

Asa huffed and walked out of the room muttering.

“I guess that makes this a girl's evening.” Meg’s voice was falselycheerful. “Let me back up the video."

I continued to paint, even though my heart wasn’t in it. ButI was too stubborn to let Asa know he had made me sad. It would make me feellike he had won.

I could hear the boys talking and laughing. They hadprobably started another game of Risk or perhaps were watching one of theirfavorite cartoon shows.

I glanced at Ivy, and she was painting, but not evenattempting to follow along.

There was some throat clearing and I turned. Asa stoodthere, his face red. “Pam, Meg, Ivy… I’m sorry.”

I blinked. I glanced at Ben, but his eyes were on ourbrother.

“I just…” He sighed. “I like to laugh and sometimes I forgetthat I need to stop myself to be kind.”

Ivy set her brush in a mason jar of water and gave Asa ahug. “Forgiven.”

I wanted to follow her, but I suddenly realizedthat I was struggling inside. I was upset that he had ruined my idea of aperfect evening with our siblings.

Ben glanced at me and then at Asa and back again.

I tried to beat some sense into my wayward heart. Keepingshort accounts was what I was supposed to do as a Christian, and after all, it wasn’t that big of an issue. I shouldn’t be petty. I shouldn’t bebitter. I needed to…

“Hey, we know you love to laugh. We just didn’t want you tolaugh at us.” Meg said. “Grab your brush again.”

I was mentally screaming at myself and yet I stood frozen, staring at my brother. What was I waiting for?

He needs to be more sorry.

And right then and there, I wished I could split myself in twoand tackle that part of me.

I’ve been hurt too much. This is the last straw.

Asa stepped toward me. “I’m really sorry, Pam. I was themeanest to you.”

I prayed and took a step forward. “Forgiven.” I hadn’t feltlike saying the words. I wasn’t sure I meant them completely and it wasemotionally exhausting to say them. However, I felt like I had won a battle.

Asa smiled and returned to his canvas. It was awkward for thenext few minutes as we all worked on our paintings and tried to not be awkward,making it even more so.

Then the artist on screen made a comparison of what we werepainting to something a little off-color. I looked up at my siblingshorrified. I had skimmed through to make sure there wasn’t something like thatand I missed it.

“Well, I guess we can all agree that wasweird,” Ben said into our horrified silence.

We all laughed. We turned off the sound and made up our ownridiculous commentary of what he was saying.

 

This week's Mercies:

My siblings

Choosing to laugh

God’s power to help meovercome the ugly sin inside of me.

The Horse and His Boy has a special place in my heart. God used it to capture my heart during a dark time in my life.

Episode #13: The Weekly Mercies of Pam Ellis

Host a tea party.

It sounded so simple when I was making a list. I wasgood at lists. In fact, I had three different, very good lists around me. ButI sat, staring at my screen with my invite list, frozen.

I couldn’t do this. Yes, it was on my list to host a teaparty with a few friends, but actually doing it…

You're so needy.

I’m sorry. We can’t be friends anymore.

I covered my ears,but since the words came from inside my own head, that didn’t stop them. Howcould I try to reach out to people when things had gone so badly before?

I took a deep breath. Who could I go to for some bettercounsel than what my own warring heart and mind offered?

Joan.

I texted her asking if I could ask her a question and then Icontinued on my grocery list, even though planning the party was making myanxiety rise.

My phone rang. It was Joan.

“Hi Joan.”

“Hi Pam, what’s going on?”

How did I explain why something so simple was causing me somuch stress? Maybe just say it as plainly as that. “You know I told you aboutthe list I made at the beginning of the year?”

“Oh yes,” Joan said. “I thought it was a wonderful idea to get back to things you loved.”

I sighed.  “Well, thisweek, I was going to have a tea party. I used to have them often and I lovedit. But…I’m stressed out just thinking about it. I mean, after losing my friendlast year, it seems like it’s impossible to do something this social. I’ve beensitting here, panicking too much to send out the email invites. How do I getover this and just do it?”

“Who says you have to?”

I sank into my chair. “What?”

“Who says you have to do this now? If it is that stressful,it doesn’t seem like that would make it a joyful experience. Yes, sometimes youhave to push yourself to do things when you don’t want to but other times you need to give yourself some time to heal.”

My breath caught and tears spilled over. I felt silly for howmuch relief those words brought me. I sniffed. “So you don’t think I need toworry about this now?”

Joan was quiet for a moment and then spoke. “Pam, are youstill in God’s word?”

I looked over at my open bible. I had caught up on myreading plan. “Yes.”

“Are you still in church?”

I laughed because Joan and I made a point of saying hello toeach other every Sunday. “Yes.”

“Are you staying in fellowship with other believers? By thatI mean are there people in your life that you are sharing with about what isgoing on in your heart and who encourage your walk with Jesus?”

 Joan. My siblings.Crystal. I had some very good friends who pointed my gaze upward. “I do.”

“Then Pam, if there are some social things that are causingyou to panic, maybe it shows there is an area in your heart that needs sometime to heal. As long as you are pursuing healing from The Healer, I don’tthink you need to worry about completing something off your checklist.”

I let out a long breath. “Okay.”

“Pam?

“Yes?”

“You're doing well.”

Again the tears sprung to my eyes. “Every time I think I’mdoing well, I see the long way I have to go.”

She chuckled. “That's the Christian life. Here I am in myseventies and I know I still have a long way to go. May I make a suggestion?”

“Of course?”

“Perhaps see if one person will share tea with you and thencome up with some ideas of things that might help you heal. I don’t know if youknow this, but I had a baby that was stillborn.”

I sucked in a breath. “What?”

“It had been a rocky year to begin with. I had a fewpeople say some very hurtful things about the reason my baby died. I neverwanted to go to church or the grocery store again. So I sat down and I made alist. I let myself skip church for two weeks. For about two months, I slippedin during the first song and left during the final prayer. I avoided some peoplefor a month until I could talk to them in a godly way. I do think giving yourself time to heal beforehosting a party is okay.”

I let out a long breath. “Thank you, Joan. I needed that.”

“You are welcome, my dear.”

“And I’m sorry about your baby. Did you name them?”

“We named him Samuel. Because even though we never got tosee him take his first breath, we knew he was a gift from God all the same.”

Tears sprang to my eyes. I wanted a faith like Joan's, onethat saw the blessings amid the worst life had to offer. “That’sbeautiful. Thank you, Joan.”

After saying goodbye, I grabbed a cup of English breakfasttea with a splash of half-and-half and settled down at my desk again. I shovedaside the lists for the tea party and pulled out a fresh sheet of paper. Iwould make a plan - a timeline to give myself permission not to do something, like Joan had done.

I took a sip of tea, but before I put anything down on my planfor giving myself space to rest, I pulled out my mercies notebook to make noteof the mercies.

God, who is a healer

Wise words from Joan

The space to rest andheal

Episode #12: The Weekly Mercies of Pam Ellis

My plans were made. I had already slipped my letter ontoIvy’s desk, getting it done early in the week. I had finished my work week.Now, I would bake some of those spice cookies I love and read the next bookfrom my childhood stash: The Boxcar Children.

Or at least I thought my plans were well laid.

“Pam! You're making cookies!” Asa shouted, entering thekitchen.

Asa was as loud and boisterous as Ben was quiet and sweet.He was the sibling who could get most on my nerves. However, if I ever neededsomeone to be enthusiastic about something, he was the one.

“Perfect! We’re having a movie party. We'll love you andyour cookies joining us.”

I stared at him. My plans did not include a movie party ormy siblings decimating my cookies when I had hoped to have them for a week ofevening enjoyment.

Meg entered the kitchen. “The boys convinced us to try thataction movie they’ve been raving about. We should have a lot of fun.”

And there was very little they could have said the make themovie party less appealing, but that was one of them. Offer me a cheesy TV showor a period drama, and I was all in even if I had plans. But one ofthe boy's action movies…

Not everything is about you.

Perhaps this was an obvious truth that many of my fellowChristians have mastered, but my selfishness was insistent and pervasive. Ididn’t want to interrupt my plans but my siblings wanted me. It was far moreimportant to do some fun things that were meaningful to them than for me tolounge in my room and indulge myself.

 

“How was the movie then?” Lacie rubbed at her back, her babybump small but visible.

I laughed. “It was… just like I suspected it would be. Ididn’t love it, but the time with my siblings was worth it."

Lacie nodded, sadness clouding her eyes. “Time with siblingsis something I doubt you will ever regret.”

My heart squeezed. No doubt she was thinking of her ownsister who had died in a car accident while estranged from her family. Ithought over the evening with my siblings. I did enjoy the time withthem. I needed to do more with them. Not only had I withdrawn because of thepain of the last year, but I think I had become less likely to do things Ididn’t love. I should do more things for my siblings I wasn’t excited about formyself.

“Aunt Lacie?”

We turned from the bookshelf we were restocking to see Molly holding the hand of Hosanna.

“Yes, Molly?”

“Hosanna isn’t sitting still while I’m trying to read.”

I smothered laughter.

Lacie smiled. “Well, she’s still a little young to sitstill.”

Molly sighed. “I can’t wait until she is bigger.” She turnedback to her book, leaving the little girl to her mother.

Lacie shook her head. “Poor Molly. She’s having a rough timeof it.”

I glanced toward the retreating girl. “Oh? She seems fine.”

She chewed on her lip for a moment before settling Hosannaon her hip and continuing to put the books on the shelf. “Anna has taken tocalling me Mama and Jared Daddy. Molly says she’s okay with it, but I know it’shard. She remembers her parents, but those memories are fading. Ithink she’s caught between being glad we are here for her and Anna and feelinglike she is losing her connection to her past.”

I looked toward the children’s corner where Molly and Anna sat reading. “Anna doesn’t remember her parents, does she?”

Lacie shook her head. “No. It doesn’t seem to bother her.What has been bothering her lately is Molly trying to make her remember. Mollywill talk about the mission or something someone did and Anna isn't bothered that she can't remember.”

I put a stack of books onto the shelves. “Maybe Molly cancome and spend some time with me at the bookshop? Just her and me? Maybe sheneeds some attention that isn’t divided between the younger children.”

“That might be just what she needs.” Lacie let Hosannadown. “I’ll see if I can arrange a day for Jared to watch Anna and Hosanna and makesure Molly has a whole day where she is with you or me. After all, she isentering a trying age.”

Hosanna grew fussy and Lacie, with a look my way, grabbedher daughter and took her off to the back where she had a playpen set up.

I continued on the new display of books. We were preparingfor the Easter season. We had a selection of Easter devotionals, non-fiction,and fiction all ready to go. I looked at the display. I decided I would get acopy of Incomparable, the devotional by Nancy Wolgemuth. It seemed like a goodone. I would start it while I ate the last two spice cookies I had hidden.

I finished the display and moved toward the tea counter. Weneeded to set out our spring teas. I smiled and dropped a bag of wildberry teainto my mug. I would of course have to try out all the new teas that we had in stock.

I looked around at the shop and just wanted to wrap up thiswhole moment and put it in my mercy notebook. With plans I looked forward tothe next week, teas I was excited to try, and a new devotional, the feeling thatwrapped around my heart felt a lot like hope. That feeling is what I would put in my Mercies notebook.

Incomparable: 50 Days with Jesus by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth is a powerful devotional that I loved last year. You can get it directly from Revive Our Hearts or from Amazon

March Life Update

 

Have you ever noticed it is easy to make life sound hard? I mean, yes, life is hard. But as I was thinking about writing this post, the first thing that came to mind for me to put in here is that allergies have been making everything harder this month. Yet, starting with that would give you the wrong idea. Allergies isn't what this month has been about. Yes, there have been things that have made gaining my goals more challenging, but you know what this month has been full of?

~ Laughter

~ Tasty food experiments

~ New state parks visited

~ Excitedly seeing spring bloom

So let me share about my month:

I'm the kind of person who happy eats the same kind of foods over and over again. I'm not very adventuresome... or so I thought. Scott has helped me to try new things and I've found whole categories of food that I love. Some things I thought  were for restaurants only, I've found myself making and loving.

Scott's and I's in house date we made some amazing Mexican food
I found out I adore queso fresco.
I made this cilantro lime dressing recipe and fell in love. 

My writing has been a struggle of late. A lot of that has to do with allergies, but God has blessed me with some adventures.

My garden is slowly taking shape
We took my dad on a day trip to the coast.
The day was perfect!
Yeah, lots of smiles and laugher
We saw the largest tree in Texas
It was big
We hopped over to another state park
My dad enjoyed sitting and reading while Scott and I took a long walk.
I've been really blessed by my quiet time of late. 
Scott had a weekday off and we spent working around the house together on project.
I didn't take a before shot, but I was getting this front bed into shape
Most mornings find me taking a walk. This has been both challenging (allergies, remember) but also so helpful. I'm slowly building strength up. 

How has your March been so far?

Kate's Truth Cover revleal and preorder starts!

 

Hey friends!
Today is an exciting day! Kate's Truth is finally up for preorder! Not only that. But today only (March 12th, 2025) the whole series is on sale!

Preorder link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F15ZR97X 

Goodreads link: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/229035981-kate-s-truth 

Preorder goody pack: https://forms.gle/6Rp6X3aHacAmgGbV9 

The series on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0753GFKPM 

Blub: Can they solve a cold case?

Kate is grateful to be back home with the team. She knows it’s time to tell her friends about some of her past she’s kept hidden. How will they react? Will Patrick think less of her? And can she stay focused on a case that keeps leading them to dead ends?

Patrick knows it’s time to take a big step in life, but fears it as well. On top of working a case that is frustrating, it’s obvious Kim and Thomas know something they’re not sharing, but what is it?

Every team member needs to find truths to hold on to as the future looks uncertain and changes loom on the horizon.

Episode #11: The Weekly Mercies of Pam Ellis

 

I had never understood the term waking up on the wrong sideof the bed, but I understood the feeling all too well. Monday had been a wonderful day. After bounding out of bed, I had gone eagerly towork, enjoyed watching a goofy movie with my siblings in the evening, and hadfallen asleep after my bible reading with a smile on my face.

And then my alarm had gone off.

There was nothing about the day that started me off on thewrong foot (another ridiculous saying) but somehow, I still felt like I wasbehind and grumpy about it. One of the passages I read in my mixed plan spokeof gratitude, which made me glare at my mercies notebook. It wasn’t that I hatedthe notebook, I just hated it this morning.

Just like I was irritated with how the black tea tasted.

Just like I was frustrated when I had to get up and show acustomer where a book was on the shelf.

Just like I felt like shouting at the customer who came outof our bathroom to tell me there was a little mess that needed my attention.Forget that it was just water, I wanted to run after the lady and tell her sheshould have the decency to clean up after herself.

I lectured myself sternly as I wiped up the water in thebathroom. Nothing was wrong. Life wasn’t bad. All the things that wereirritating me today weren’t actually a big deal. However, my emotionsstubbornly refused to budge. For some reason, even though I knew in my head allwas well, my heart refused to get the message.

And all of a sudden, I smiled. I remembered how often thisfeeling had been with me in my childhood. I had struggled frequently with abad attitude and my parents had often been at a loss as to how to deal with it.

They hadn’t helped me. I know that is a horrible thing tosay about your parents. Mine had been exceptionally good parents, but somehow,they had thought pointing out that I had a bad attitude that needed to changewould help me.

It hadn’t.

I stopped in the middle of the store as I stood with thecleaning supplies. So why did I think it would help now? Just acknowledging andtelling myself over and over again that I had a bad attitude and needed to changethings wouldn’t help me.

I put the cleaning supplies back into the back room andmoved to check on a customer. As soon as they had left, I rested my chin in mypalm and thought. What had turned the tide when I was younger? Well, that waseasy to remember. I had found the root cause of much of my bad attitude, whichwas a sense of entitlement and discontent. God worked on my heart. My attitude followed.

I sighed. I didn’t have any idea what was causing my heartto feel so down and out of sorts today unless… I did a mental calculation. Ah!Hormones. Not that they always made me feel this way, but they had on occasion.

What was I going to do about it?

I pulled up a list on my phone since I hadn’t decided what Iwould do this week just for the joy of it. I settled on a classic girl choice:I would go and buy something. Other than books, I rarely did shopping for myself.Mostly that was because I didn’t love shopping.

However, sometimes you had to do something different,something fun, to remember that life wasn’t just about your to-do list.

 

After getting a snack and iced tea, I wandered aroundthe craft store for a while. While usually I could load up my cart with thingsI would love, nothing seemed to jump out at me.

I popped into the next store, which was home goods. I meandereddown the aisle and came to paper goods. Pens, notepads, and journals abounded.My eye caught out a wooden box. Well, it wasn’t a box, it was a writing desk. Ipulled it out. It reminded me of the one I had when I was young and writing topen pals. I had loved that little lap desk, but it had been cardboard and hadfallen apart after a couple of years of intense use.

I saw the inside had been filled with a beautiful stationaryset. How long had it been since I had written a letter? Probably when I wasseventeen and the last of my many pen-pals had told me she wouldn’t havetime to write anymore.

What if I started writing letters again?

My decision was made. I took the writing desk up to thecounter and bought it. I decided I would try to write a letter once a week tosomeone. I would start with my own family members, and Ben would get the firstone.

I still felt bad about my outburst toward him, even though Ihad apologized and he had forgiven me. I wanted to do something he could hold so he would know I cared.

 

I looked at my Bible, Mercies notebook, and my bucket liston the floor before me. I was ten weeks into the year and I decided it was time toevaluate what I was doing. Perhaps a day when I had been out of sorts might notthe be ideal time to do such a thing, but I didn’t want to keep blindly doingthe same thing over and over again if it wasn’t helpful.

Now I understood why Joan had suggested the journal. Onewould think that ten weeks is hardly enough time to forget emotions, yet as Isat there, trying to figure out if I had made progress, I wasn’t sure.

I flipped open my mercies notebook. Well, if nothing else,it had to be good for me to keep a record of the good things God was doing inmy life. What were His mercies today?

~ Remembering God’swork in the past that helped me decide what I needed to do to help with my attitudetoday.

~ Remembering funhobbies in the past and bringing them forward to my present.

~ How Jesus has workedin my heart since I was young

~ My new writing desk.

Lake Brownwood State Park

 Of all the Texas State Parks we've visited, Lake Brownwood holds a very special place in our hearts. Why? We've stayed there three times. The stone cabins, built by the CCC in the 1930s, are precious places. We spent our first anniversary, a birthday, and a mini vacation here. 

One of the most impressive sights at Brownwood is The Grand Staircase - a CCC-built feature that leads down to the water's edge. 
The Rec Hall has a lovely tower you can ascend. Scott and I have used it a couple times we've stayed at the park for stargazing. 
There are all sorts of interesting CCC-built benches and such around the park.
Oh, this is the view from the top of the tower!
Flowers abound. These bushes were in bloom on our first anniversary (September). They smelled heavenly.
Sunrises and sunsets aren't to be missed.
The CCC-built cabins are charming! They are perfect for getting away from it all.
Scott and I love Cabin 1. 
The lake, as seen from the end of the Grand Staircase.
Suggested Hiking Routes:Get the park map HERE.
Our favorite route (3-5 hours):Park near the fishing pier.Take Texas Oak Trail until you come to Oposson Loop.Walk along  Oposson Loop until you meet back up with Texas Oak TrailTake Texas Oak trail, veering toward the Park office trail (right)Follow the Park Office trail to the office.When you reach the office, cross the road to find the Nopales Ridge Trail Walk Nopales Ridge Trail (Note: this trail has very little shade) and return to the park office.Take the Park Office Trail back to Texas Oak TrailFollow Texas Oak Trail to Council Bluffs TrailCouncil Bluffs Trail will take you back to the parking lot. Drive to the Rec Hall. Walk along the Lakeside Trail. Make sure to enjoy The Grand Staircase.
Quicker Hike (1-2 hours):Park near the fishing pier.Take Texas Oak Trail until you come to Oposson Loop.Walk along  Oposson Loop until you meet back up with Texas Oak TrailFollow Texas Oak Trail to Council Bluffs TrailCouncil Bluffs Trail will take you back to the parking lot. Drive to the Rec Hall. Walk along the Lakeside Trail. Make sure to enjoy The Grand Staircase.
Highlight hike (15-30 minutes):Drive to the Rec Hall. Walk along the Lakeside Trail. Make sure to enjoy The Grand Staircase.
Other facts:Is this a CCC park? Yes!Do you need to make a reservation? While always recommended, this one isn't often at capacity.Sarah's favorite spots: The Rec Hall, Cabin 1, The Grand StaircaseWhat else can I do at this park? Swimming, fishing, and picnic areas.Camping? There are tent and RV sites, screened shelters, cabins, and group lodge. I highly recommend cabin 1 for couples!

My Spring Décor

Hello friend! Welcome to my home. I'd love to show you some of the spring/ Easter decor I've just put up. I was so excited!

I have a lot of Christmas books I pull out every year, but I decided to keep this shelf as seasonal. It's been fun to pull out books for it Valentine/winter and now Easter/Spring.
My decorative tray 
I adore the wreath my mom bought me on clearance at Hobby Lobby last year.
Spring pillow covers!
A vase with a sprig of fake cherry blossoms. It makes the kitchen happy.
I got this after Easter last year. I was so happy to put it up.
Do you decorate for the seasons?

Episode #10: The Weekly Mercies of Pam Ellis

 

“Pam! I was hoping I would catch you!” Joan came up to me atchurch. “I love your skirt.”

I smiled as the skirt fluttered around me, just as I had wanted it to. There were a couple of weird puckers, but I wasn’t a master seamstress.

“We need to get together sometime soon.”

Even though talking with Joan had been helpful, I felt ahesitation. While my last meeting with Joan had gone well, I worried that the next one might not, or maybe the one after that.

“Busy week?”

I blinked and mentally shook myself. She had kindly assumedmy long pause had been mentally reviewing a packed calendar. “What day wouldbe good for you?”

She pulled out a small pocket calendar. “How is yourTuesday?”

I thought about my work schedule. “I’m working until 2 atBooked to a Tea.”

A grin filled Joan’s face. “You work there? I have beenmeaning to go and check it out.”

I smiled back. Where I worked was a magical place I loved toshare with others. “Would you like to come on Tuesday at two as I get off? We could grab cups of teaand enjoy the atmosphere of the place together."

She nodded. “I’ll see you Tuesday.”

 

“Why do you think youburst out in anger?”

I stared down at my cup. I had told myself I hadn’t wantedto share the incident from the week before with Joan, but I had anyway, and nowher thoughtful question had me thinking. I glanced around the bookshop, busierthan usual, and then back at my mug of clove and spice tea.

“I guess I haven’t dealt with the hurts from last yearwell. Or maybe I just I’m not spending enough time with God.” I glanced up atJoan, feeling like a kid looking to see if they had the answer right because Ihonestly wasn’t sure why my anger had risen so fast with my brother.

Joan stared back at me. “Do you think maybe it’s because youare afraid of not being in control?”

I pressed my lips together and stared back into my tea. I knew I couldn’t control my parents' marriage, so that wasn’t it. Was it? Then the truth slammed into me like a huge wave, and I felt pulled under a current of emotion. I covered my face with my hands.

“Pam?” A gentle hand came around my shoulder.

“I’ve lost so much last year. I lost my best friend. I hadto see dreams die.” I was not ready to tell her all about my care for Evan withnothing more than his kindness to base my feeling of loss on. “And I’ve seen myfamily drifting apart. I just… I don’t think I can take another loss. God can’ttake my parent's marriage from me. I couldn’t survive it.”

I was shocked by my own words. Who tells God He can’t dosomething? I looked up at Joan. “You’re right, I’m afraid of more loss of notbeing in control.”

“Because you’re not sure you can trust God’s goodness.” Shesaid matter of factly. “Do you journal?”

I blinked rapidly. “What?” Why were we changing subjects?

Joan smiled. “I have found that keeping a journal has helpedme see God’s loving-kindness in my own life. It’s easy to be stuck in thinkingof past hurts and hardships, but in reading what God has done in my life overthe course of a year, or a decade, I see easier the pattern of his goodnessthat I lose in the day-to-day.”

I nodded slowly. My mercies notebook might help. But maybe a journal might help even more. Also, I needed to remember I wasn’t in control no matterwhat.

“Pam?”

I glanced up at Jared standing there with his daughterHosanna on his hip.

“I’m sorry to ask because I know you clocked out, but could you help out for a few minutes?”

I glanced up and in the short time I had been spilling my guts, the store had filled with customers. Lacie was cheerfully checkingpeople out and the tea counter had a line of people waiting.

I glanced at Joan.

She waved me off. “You go help. I’ll wait.”

I moved behind the tea counter and filled orders.After half an hour, the rush died down and I found Joan still sitting in a cozycorner in the back of the store.

“This is for you.” She held out a journal covered withpressed flowers. “See if keeping a record of what God is doing each day helps yousee His goodness over the course of a year.”

I nodded. “Thank you.”

 

It had been a long time since I had faithfully kept ajournal. I placed the notebook with its one entry next to my bed, planning onwrapping up each day by jotting down a few thoughts in it.

I grabbed my Mercies notebook, thought for a moment andwrote:

Words that lance the festeringlies in me, bring pain, but also healing. Words of truth that are from God’speople. This is God’s great mercy to me this week.