Sarah Holman's Blog
July 28, 2025
Episode #31: The Weekly Mercies of Pam Ellis
Another week and another chance to choose something to bringjoy for the week. I looked at the list I had made. I had contracted a summercold. It wasn’t bad, but the stuffy nose made it hard to sleep, and I had alight cough that caught me at the wrong times. I needed something simple,something I could do in my room.
My gaze landed on an item toward the bottom of the list.
Finally put those stickers you’ve been collecting on a waterbottle.
Yap, that was the one. I had trouble committing the specialstickers I had collected to her water bottles. After all, I didn’t want to losethe stickers. But what was I saving them for?
I dug under my bed for my collection of water bottles. I selecteda metal one that seemed like it would last a long time and then went to mydesk. I pulled out a small box I had collected of special stickers.
I decided that even with the cold, I needed a furtherdistraction, so I didn’t overthink using my precious stickers. I scrolledthrough a list of audiobooks from my library I had saved off and selected onethat had been a favorite of my mother’s: A Bear Called Paddington byMichael Bond.
I started the audiobook and turned my attention to my task –bowing my nose, I wouldn’t drip onto the stickers at the water bottle. Afterthis disgusting task was accomplished and my hands washed. I sat down tofinally cover my water bottle with stickers.
I looked at the collection of stickers.
A beautiful sticker with watercolor flowers that said InChrist Alone. I put that front and center. Next went on my three different JaneAusten stickers. I smiled as I put the Booked to a Tea sticker on. Jared andLacie had made them when they first opened the store. Jared hadn’t bothered toreorder them, so I was one of the few that had them for now.
There was the sticker from the aquarium for my birthday andthe one from the state park.
When I finished, the bottle was covered with very little ofthe grey coating showing. I blew my nose and I coughed hard. It as time to curlup in my bed with a movie. Jane Austen was just the thing for a sick day. Oh! Ineeded tea to go with it.

I inhaled deeply of the tea I had brewed for myself. Itwasn’t my favorite blend, but I needed to keep going today. Lots of tea to keepthe congestion and sore throat at bay. That and a lot of hand sanitizer were used soI didn’t pass on my cold to the customers or Lacie. But Lacie and I were skillfullyavoiding each other. I didn’t want to give her my cold. The further along inher pregnancy, the more paranoid she got about being sick.
I took another swallow of tea as a customer came up to thedesk. Squirting on hand sanitizer, I took the selection of books from her. Fivebooks, three children’s books, and two non-fiction from our Christian section. Irang them up and handed the woman her books. As soon as she was out the door, Iblew my nose and again used the hand sanitizer.
Ah, the glamorous life of a customer service person with acold.

“You look exhausted.” My mother looked me over as I enteredthe door.
I nodded and headed to the kitchen. “Working with a cold willdo that. What smells so good?”
“I made you that green chili chicken soup you like so much.”
I turned toward my mother, feeling like my nose was twiceits normal size and glowing red enough to give Rudolf the reindeer a run forhis money. “Bless you. If I didn’t want to keep this cold to myself, I wouldhug and kiss you. Soup sounded so good, but I wasn’t sure I would have the energyto make anything.”
My mother smiled. “I like to be able to do things for you.”
I blew my nose and then washed my very dry hands beforefilling a bowl of the heavenly soup. I sat down at the table. Mom and I chattedabout the little happenings of the day. She looked so tired.
“How has the counseling been going?” I asked.
She looked off to the window. “I have a wonderful, godly counselorwho is helping me work through a lot of things from my past. Your father and Iagreed that we would seek some personal healing before we tried anymore couplescounseling.”
I nodded. It was hard to explain how that news was bothencouraging and discouraging at the same time. I was glad my parents were stillseeking help, that they hadn’t given up, but I had hoped we would be past thisby now. I wanted our happy home back. However, I knew many of the things theywere facing weren’t quick fixes. I had to be patient and wait to see how Godwould work things out.
I took a deep breath, coughed twice, before speaking. “I’mpraying for both of you every day.”
She nodded and smiled. “We need that more than anything elseanyone can do.”
I looked down at my bowl.
“How is Joan doing?”
I smiled, thinking of my mentor. “Oh, she is fine. We canceledour meeting as she tries to avoid respiratory illnesses. She has scar tissue onher lungs from an illness in her forties that makes her highly susceptible to makingeven minor colds into something serious.
My mother stood. “Well, I hope you get well soon. I need togo finish the laundry, and I promised my friend Jill I would call her thisevening.”
I nodded, grateful my mother had a good friend to talk to.“Thank you once again, Mom.”
She smiled. “I love you.”
“I love you….” I coughed instead of saying too. And then Isneezed into my soup. Gross. I hated colds.
This week's Mercies:
Cold Meds
Hot tea
A mom who makes megood soup.
I found this Green Chili Chicken soup recipe, and it is a favorite. (Note, I'm endorsing the recipe, not the website, which I haven't fully explored.
I actually have bought the In Christ Alone Sticker (and some others) from this cute Etsy Shop.
I also love the stickers from this literary Etsy Shop.
July 21, 2025
Episode #30: The Weekly Mercies of Pam Ellis

“Merry Christmas!”
Molly stood at the door eagerly handing out candy canes topeople as they entered. Anna stood beside her, helping some, but mostly watchingshyly.
Christmas in July had never been my thing, but I had toadmit, our event was bringing in people to the bookstore. I had stayed latethe night before, helping Jared and Lacie cover displays in fake snow, puttingup a display of Christmas books, and setting out Christmas crafts for the kids.We even had two authors in for the day with their Christmas book offerings..
I tried not to feel awkward in my Santa hat and green apron.Instead, I tried to think about the extra pay I would get this week for workingovertime. I also tried to enjoy the smiles it brought to the faces of thepeople coming in from the Texas heat.
Jared was busy snapping pictures of families and individualswith our Christmas photo backdrop and cardboard cutout of Father Christmas.
We had hot and iced chocolate ready to go. I knew I would bespending a lot of time behind the tea counter.
“Wow! Now this is a fun bookstore.”
I spun around and saw Asa standing, looking around.
Ben bumped him. “I told you; this isn’t what it normallylooks like.”
Asa shrugged. “Too bad. I feel ten degrees cooler stepping inhere. It gets you into the Christmas spirit.”
My mouth dropped open. “I thought you two said you weregoing to play Risk the whole day.”
Asa through his arm around my shoulder. “We may have exaggeratedour plans so we could surprise you. It’s been too long since we visited yourwork. How long will this party last?”
I looked around. “Just for the day. I’ll be staying late to cleanup and get all the summer displays put back up.”
Ben looked behind me. “Is that hot chocolate?”
I looked and nodded. “We also have iced chocolate.”
Ben moved toward the tea counter. “I’ll take the hot stuff.”
I shook my head, but obliged my brother. “How can you drinkthe hot chocolate when the temperature outside is…”
Ben held up his hand. “You drink hot tea almost everymorning no matter how hot it is.”
I opened my mouth to say it was different, but I shut itagain. I smiled. “You’re right.
“Make it two hot chocolates,” Ben said with a wink. “I wantone for Asa and one for me. Let’s get into the Christmas in July mood!”
I laughed and obliged him.

We had been a mad house all day, but we finally closed thedoor. I let out a long breath and looked around the messy store. I sure had mywork cut out for me.
Jared looked as tired as I felt. I reached to pick up a discardedcoloring page from the floor when his phone started ringing. “Lacie? Yeah, wejust finished up.”
I grabbed a box from behind the counter and loaded booksfrom the Christmas display inside. Amazed at how many of the books had sold. Iglanced from my work to see Jared looking at me with distress.
“Is Lacie okay?” I whispered.
He covered the lower half of the phone. “Apparently, she isfeeling awful, Hosanna is throwing a fit, and Molly and Anna are crying.”
I knew what I needed to do. “I’ll do the clean-up.”
Jared looked around. “You’ll be here until two in themorning.”
I shrugged. “Your family needs you.”
He swallowed. “Lacie, sweetheart, I’ll be there in tenminutes.” He hung up. “I owe you.”
I smiled and waved him off. I shot off a quick text to myfamily, letting them know why I would be late, and dove into the work. At leastJared had cleaned out the hot chocolate urns when we ran out an hour beforeclosing.
I put on my audio bible and loaded all the Christmas displays. And then returned all the summer books to the shelf.
A knock on the door had my heart hammering in my chest. Iturned toward the door, phone in hand. My siblings were pressed to the window, waving like crazy people. What were Asa and Ben carrying?
I unlocked the door and let them in. “What in the world arey’all doing here?”
Ivy bounced in. “Well, we thought you could use some help.”
“And I thought, why not turn this into a Christmas in Julyparty for us?” Asa said.
Ben grunted. “Hence the reason we lugged the TV screen fromhome so we could watch a Christmas movie while we worked.”
“Can we put it up here?” Ivy asked, pointing to the teacounter.
I waved my brothers in. “The counter would be fine. Now, what moviedid you bring?”
“It’s a Wonderful Life.” Ben held up the movie. “I figuredit would save all of us from bickering over which cheesy movie to bring.”
I smiled.
“Well, put me to work,” Meg said, clapping her handstogether. “I’m guessing the bathrooms need cleaning.”
I nodded. “Are you sure you want to do that?”
Meg shrugged. “Let’s get the worst out of the way.”
I gestured for her to follow, and we went into the back roomfor supplies. Ivy followed and found the bag for the fake snow. “I can put allthe fake snow back into this.
Soon, the boys were busy with trash bags collecting cups andrandom trash as well as hauling the filled bags out of the dumpster. I listened to the movie while I finished counting out the register and put the display shelves back in order. George Baily wasn’t even married yet by the time we finished.
I turned off lights and made sure everything was secured forthe night as my brothers took the TV out to the car. They were crazy for luggingit down to the store, and I loved them for it.
Even though I was exhausted when I was finally tucked intobed, I pulled out my mercies notebook and my list of things to bring joy. Onthe list, I added celebrate Christmas in July with my siblings and marked itoff. No, it hadn’t been something I had planned on, but it was perfect.
Opening the mercies notebook, I forced my eyes open longenough to write down what was most important:
God’s mercies to metoday:
My siblings
Christmas in July
Getting to bed before two AM
July 18, 2025
Episode #29: The Weekly Mercies of Pam Ellis

Call me a prude, but I still had a hard time being in aplace where everyone thought it was okay to parade around in their underwear. Idon’t care what fabric it was made out of; calling it a swimsuit didn’t changethe fact that it was called underwear everywhere else.
It didn’t help that I was nervous about being here. Going toa waterpark had sounded so fun when I added it to the list. When Ivy had grabbedmy hand and pointed to one of the tallest slides, I doubted my sanity for addingthis place to the list in the first place.
I stood in line holding my end of the two-person raft,wondering if all these half-dressed people would laugh if they knew that I wasnervous about rides at a waterpark that catered to young families and children.
“I’m so glad it worked for us to get off on a weekday. Canyou imagine how crazy this place is on the weekends?”
I shook my head. I had found discount tickets for a slow dayof the week, but it was busy enough for there to be lines. We finally reachedthe top of the stairs, and we were directed to place our raft into an area and wait forthe green light.
“Ready?” Ivy asked.
“Not really,” I said, honestly questioning if I had lost itfor even thinking of hurling myself down so many feet. Were they sure wewouldn’t fall out?
“It’s going to be fun.” My sister smiled at me.
I took a deep breath and let out my anxiety. I had come hereto have fun. If I didn’t enjoy this slide, I could ride the Lazy River for mostof our time here, or try another slide. So, I didn’t approve of the swimwearmost people were wearing. I didn’t have to walk around with my nose in the air.I could enjoy this experience, and stop focusing on the negative.
The light turned green.
We dropped down and I squealed. We came out into thesunlight and twisted and turned before we took a final dip and slid out intothe pool. Laughing, I scrambled out and stood next to Ivy, soaked.
“That was so much fun!” Ivy said. “Let’s go again!”
I nodded and moved to get back in line. I had enjoyed it. Ithad been fun. I was glad I had put this on our list.
Meg sat with her salad while I’ve and I chowed down on my chickenstrip baskets. “So, what has been your favorite ride or slide so far?”
I swished my chicken in the ranch dip. “I think the firstslide Ivy picked or the Lazy River. I enjoy both of those.”
“Oh! I like the really big slide.”
I shuddered. That one had lasted too long for me, and I hadn’tliked how long you were in the dark.
“The wave pool is my favorite,” Meg said. “Oh, and the LazyRiver.”
“We should come again,” Ivy said.
I smiled. “As much as I’ve enjoyed today, I’m not sure Iwant to come back soon. I think one day a year is enough fun for me.”
“Want to go on the slide again?” Ivy asked as she finishedthe last of her fires.
“As soon as I finish this.” I lifted the basket with thelast third of my meal.

While I had enjoyed my day of fun, being back at the quietbookstore with everyone fully dressed was nice. Even when the Peterson familyhad come with their very loud kids, it was still nicer than the bratty kids Ihad heard at the park yesterday. And yet, I hoped to return the next year withIvy and Meg if they wanted to go.
I glanced around the store. There weren’t any customers, andeverything was all neat and clean, so I pulled out my current read. A bookMolly had told me she loved, Love, Mary Elisabeth. So far, I wasenjoying this precious, epistolary novel written for a younger audience.
I had read quite a few pages when the door opened. I woman Ihadn’t seen before entered. I set aside the book and put on my professionalsmile. “Welcome to My Weekend is Booked to a Tea. Can I help you findanything?”
The middle-aged woman turned toward me with her brown eyes.“Yes, I’m looking for a book my sister recommended to me. I’m here on vacationand thought I would like to read it.”
“Do you know the title?” I asked. I was used to having tohelp customers find books with little bits of information.
The woman gave the title of a popular book we didn’t stock.
I nodded. “I’m sorry, we don’t have that. But maybe I canhelp you find something you would like just as much?”
She didn’t seem enthusiastic, but she allowed me to lead herto a shelf toward the back of the store we kept for customers such as these.While we stocked mostly Christian fiction and non-fiction, we had a shelf ofbooks that were clean fiction with attractive covers to try to give somereaders what they wanted without compromising Lacie and Jarad’s standards.
“You might like one of these.” I pointed. I pulled a bookwith an illustrated cover. “A couple of people who liked the book you mentionedalso enjoyed this one. It has the same feel of a girl's challenge advice, but withsome unique twists.” I held out the book to the woman.
She looked at the book, then at me. “I couldn’t help butnotice that this was a Christian bookstore.”
I braced myself for the belligerence that usually followedthose words. “We are. We try to carry some books like these that are clean, butfor a general audience like this book, but most of what we carry is Christian.”
The woman looked around. “I used to read a lot, but when Igot saved a couple of years ago, I gave up all the books I’ve collected. I’vebeen trying to stay connected with my sister, who also likes to read, but it’shard. Is there a lot of good Christian fiction out there?
I nodded. “Over half the books we carry are fiction, andalmost all of those are Christian.
A smile broke over the woman’s face. “Really? You’ve justmade my day. I’ve missed reading, but I thought Christians only wrotenon-fiction.”
I beamed. “Well, let me introduce you to a fun new world ofbooks.”
Sometimes, I really loved my job.
Mercies this week:
A fun day at the waterpark
Getting to introduce awoman to Christian fiction
A job I love
July 16, 2025
Episode #28: The Weekly Mercies of Pam Ellis

I finished putting the last touch on the July display. Ismiled at the new prints and stickers with Jane Austen quotes we had from Pace, as well as the beautiful editions of Jane Austen’s work. This took up abouthalf of the front part of the welcoming display. The other half was Louise MayAlcott's books.
I fingered the beautiful new edition of Garland for Girls.I smiled, thinking of the vintage copy I had pulled out to read.
“Thank you for all your extra help,” Jared said. “I got itfrom here.”
I nodded, dusting off my hands. “You know I enjoy setting upthe display. And Lacie leaves such good instructions, I know I can please her.”
Jared nodded. “My wife is suffering in this heat. Summer isapparently a horrible time to be majorly pregnant.”
I nodded like I had a clue. “I’m guessing since both of youare from further north, the summer heat in Texas is especially brutal.”
Jared shrugged. “I don’t think either of us minded. Texashas been a good decision for us. I miss the Christmas tree farm I used to workfor. We miss being close to family, but the church and all the opportunities Godprovided for us here have been amazing. I think the heat is just harder to dealwith when you're pregnant.”
Again, I nodded and looked toward the window. Would I everknow what it was like to carry a child within me? Would I ever know what it waslike to be married?
I let out a long breath. I hadn’t thought much about Evan,but his face and his kindness came to me. I swallowed. Maybe I should tell Joanabout it someday. But I already had something I wanted to discuss with her atour meeting.

Joan smiled as I told her about my birthday and all the funI had. “It sounds wonderful.”
“It was.” I swallowed and took the plunge. “Joan, I’m struggling.I keep feeling like every time things are going well, that is the time to worrybecause the other shoe is about to drop. I thought things were getting betterwith Jessie, and then our friendship ended. I was feeling hopeful, and my dadmoved out. No, after a very nice week, I’m just wondering when the next badthing will happen.”
Joan nodded and leaned back in her chair. She took a sip ofher iced tea and steadied me for a moment. “How often do we have storms in thisarea?”
I cocked my head. “Ummm… depends on the season.”
“Okay, how do we have them in December?”
I thought back over my life. “I don’t know. I guess itdepends on the year.”
Joan smiled. “So, youcan’t always predict storms, but you can always know one is bound to pop up givenenough time.”
Ah, now I understand. “So, what you’re saying is that badtimes are investable.” How depressing.
“Indeed, they are, as long as we live in this broken world.However, we have to temper that knowledge with truths that are even moreimportant. What do you think those might be?”
Well, this was irritatingly easy. “Don’t worry abouttomorrow, for each day has enough trouble of its own.”
She laughed. “Oh, Pam, that truth is good news, not somethingnasty to be swallowed.”
I couldn’t help but laugh with her. “But it’s hard not toworry.”
“And worry makes life hard to bear. Choose your hard, Pam.”
Well, didn’t that cut right to the heart of things?
Joan reached across the table. “Jesus said that in thisworld we would have trouble. It’s a promise that you might not see embroideredon pillows, or painted on wooden signs, but it is beautiful when paired withwhat He said after.”
“But take heart, I have overcome the world,” I said.Somehow, saying the words actually did feel good and brought some measure ofcomfort.
“Life will be heard. Prepare for the storms by making sureyour heart is ready, like a ship on the sea. Those storms will be heard, but youwon’t be along,e and you can hold to the truth that is greater than the storm.”
I took a long sip of tea, knowing this was a lesson thatwould be harder to put into practice than it would be to listen to it. “Joan,you should write a book about your wisdom.”
She laughed. “No, I don’t have the skill to do that.Besides, I haven’t been called to write out advice on paper; I’ve been calledto write advice and words into people’s lives by getting into the trenches withthem. Anyone can write a book to tell people what they should or shouldn’t do,but we need more people willing to live life in community and write on people’slives.”
Tears stung my eyes. “That’s what I want to do, Joan. Ifeel so broken right now and like nothing will ever be right. I want to takeall this pain and help someone else with it someday.”
Joan reached out her hand. “He comforts us in all ouraffliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any kind ofaffliction, through the comfort we ourselves receive from God. You are going tohelp others in the future, Pam. You’re going to be able to comfort people in similarsituations and point them to Jesus.”
Tears flowed. The thought of being the strong one, the onewith hope to offer instead of the one clinging to someone else for comfortsounded amazing, and yet, it also sounded so far from where I was.
When I left my meeting with Joan, I went to the store andbought a citrus candle. It was a simple thing from my joy list, but I enjoyed pickingout the candle. I lit it and pulled out my mercy’s notebook,
This week’s mercy: Theknowledge that God is going to use my broken pieces to comfort someone elsesomeday.
July 15, 2025
Life, Gender Reveal, and 17 years of blogging

It has been far too long between updates, hasn't it? I honestly think one of the hardest things about maintaining this blog is wanting to share everything with my readers, but having to be sensitive to the fact that there are a lot of things that aren't appropriate to share online. I'm not going to lie, in the last year, my family of origin has been going through some tough stuff, but it isn't the kind of stuff you can share with on the interent. While I have always wanted my life to be an open book before people, I know that I have to be cearful of the feelings and expriances of others.
Honestly, the last few months have been a stressful as wonderful time. Wonderful because God has sustained our little one. After three losses, we grow more and more hopeful each day that we will hold this little one in our arms and get to see them grow up.
It's been hard because I've had to walk through a difficult season with my family. One that has required a lot of patience, forgiveness, grace, and wisdom. I often see my sinful nature coming up, and it has made me run to Jesus for strength, wisdom, and, yes, a lot of confession and repentance.






I can't wait to share more with you soon!
July 14, 2025
Episode #27: The Weekly Mercies of Pam Ellis

Hey friends!
Thank you so much for your patience (and eagerness) for this next episode. This week, I'm going to post three episodes to catch us up. I also plan to share a little update tomorrow about our little one. Thank you so much for your support! Y'all are the best.

I glanced around my room, satisfied I was leaving everythingtidy and ready for me that evening. Grabbing my purse, I turned off the light.Off for another day of work.
I smiled. Today was my birthday. Last year, Lacie and Jaredhad let me have any book I wanted and a gift item for my birthday. Of course,they might not do that again, but it would be fun if they did.
I reached the door, and all my siblings stood in front of it.I blinked. “Good morning.”
Asa crossed his arms. “Where do you think you’re going?”
I looked at each of my serious-faced siblings. “To work,where all of us need to be unless you all got laid off.”
Meg tisked and stepped forward. “Don’t you know it’s yourbirthday?”
I raised a brow. “I did indeed. And the sooner I get towork, the sooner I can come home to celebrate.”
A wide smile appeared on Ivy’s face. “Oh, you won’t be goingto work today. We arranged everything.”
Mom came into the entryway, carrying a gift bag. “We arekidnapping you for the day.”
I looked at my siblings. “But don’t all of you have jobs?”
“We all took off the day,” Ben said.
I looked at each of their faces, and my heart squeezed. “Youdid what?”
Ivy nodded. “We all took off , and we are going to take you tothat aquarium you wanted to go to.”
My eyes widened. “But that is a long drive.”
“Then we better get going!” Ben said.

When we pulled up to the aquarium, I felt like I was a kidagain. I jumped out of the car and ran straight to the dolphin statue waiting for us in the front. I had wanted to come see this aquarium for solong. Ivy and Meg joined me, and we snapped a photo. We laughed as my eyessnagged on a person.
“Dad!”
He stood there smiling at all of us.
I ran into his arms and was crying.
“Happy birthday, Pam.” He said into my hair.
“We had to all be together on your birthday,” Asa said.
“All of us,” Ivy said.
I gripped my father tightly and tried to wipe my tears on hisshirt, but it was no use; the rest of my family would see.
“Come on. We came here for the aquarium, didn’t we?” mymother asked with a sad sort of smile.
I nodded. I took a deep breath. Of course, things would be strainedbetween Mom and Dad. I needed to accept that. But it wouldn’t keep me frombeing grateful that they were all here today.
My whole family - together. A laugh and a sob tangled together,rand I put my hands to my mouth.
I took a step toward the door and thanked God for thismoment, for this day.

“Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you,” my siblingssang, and I felt like bursting into tears. We were sitting in the restaurantinside the aquarium, surrounded by amazing tanks of fish. Asa had insisted hewas taking all of us to dinner at the restaurant inside the aquarium.
I looked at the faces around the table and wanted to grabthis moment and put it in my pocket. I had so much. I had loved every moment atthe aquarium. I had sat for so long in front of each display, basking in thebeauty of all the fish, and everyone had indulged me. My parents’ interactionswere strained, but I respected them so much for doing this for me and ourfamily when it wasn’t easy.
“Blow out the candle!” Asa shouted.
I laughed and took a deep breath, and blew out the candle on the cheesecake like I was turning five.
Everyone clapped, and Meg handed me a fork.
“Wait,” Ivy said, handing me a bag with the aquarium logo on it.“This is from all of us.”
I took the bag, but I already knew what was inside. I hadteased about getting the super soft, stuffed sealion, but there was no way Iwas spending the money to get it. Sure enough, my siblings had gone back andbought it.
Mom handed me an envelope. Inside, I found a paper promisinga lunch with just the two of us at my favorite Mexican food place.
My dad handed me another bag from the aquarium store, and Ifound one of the beautiful sand dollar pendants inside.
I looked up at the tank that surrounded us and back at eachof the precious faces around me.
I had no idea how I was going to wrap this moment, this day, into the mercy notebook, but I would try.

This week's mercy: Aday I can hold on to, no matter what, and thank God for such precious memoriesand family. A day that felt a lot like hope.
June 23, 2025
Episode #26: The Weekly Mercies of Pam Ellis

I glanced up at the recipe again. Yes, it really did callfor that much butter. I plunked the butter into the pan and then chopped theraw chicken into pieces.
“Something smells…different.”
I smiled at Ivy. “Well, I decided this week I would make upfood from another country. I’m making up food from India. I’m going to make naanbread, rice, and buttered chicken.”
Ivy wrinkled her nose when she smelled the spice mix. “Areyou sure this will taste good?”
I shook my head. “Nope. I’ve never had Indian food and I’venever tried to make it. We will find out if it’s any good. Would you like totry this?” I held out my cup.
She eyed it suspiciously and didn’t take it. “What is it?”
“It’s a drink I found. It’s ice, yogurt, mango, and a littlebit of Cardamon. It’s pretty good. It’s called Mango Lassi.”
She shook her head. “No thank you.”
I turned back to the recipe and continued to work. I knew Ivydidn’t like new things. “Don’t worry, I got a pizza in the freezer if you don’tlike this.”
Ivy hugged me as I added in the spices. “You didn’t have todo that. I could have eaten leftovers.”
“I know, but I figured that if I was going to experiment ifno one liked it, there should be an alternative.”
“What smells so good?” Ben said, entering the kitchen.
I smiled and pointed. “Indian food. I hope.”

“Everyone loved it!” I said as I sipped the vanilla iced tea.
Joan smiled back. “It sounds like a lovely time.”
I nodded. “It was the best time we’ve had since…” Iswallowed. I didn’t want to say the word, but I forced myself to take a deepbreath and say it anyway: “Since Dad moved out for a time.”
Joan nodded. “And how are you doing with that?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. Mom seems to be doing better, soI guess the distance has been a good thing, but it still feels sad. I want tosupport my parents in what they feel like they need, but it’s hard not to seewhat it’s costing us. And by us, I really mean me. I hate the idea of ending upas part of a statistic.”
Joan looked down at her tea. “So, your biggest fear is ofbeing part of static? Of looking bad?”
I thought for a moment. Was that what I was afraid of?Slowly I shook my head. “I’m afraid of losing my family.”
Joan nodded.
I cocked my head. “Is there something that I should beafraid of more?”
Joan reached out a hand and placed it on my arm. “The lossof a stable home is one of the hardest challenges a woman can face, no matterher age. I’m not telling you what to feel or not feel. I do want to encourageyou with this: how can you encourage yourself and those around you to bring thegospel into this situation?”
I swallowed. I didn’t want to discount what Joan was sayingbut it was just words. I had heard the phrase a lot, but it felt so meaningless.Did that make me a bad Christian?
Joan wrapped both her hands around her cup. “Let me put itanother way. What questions can you ask yourself, and you family members, totake their attention off of what is wrong, and turn their attention to what Godmight want to use this situation to accomplish?”
I stared off into the bookshop. That was better, but I stilldidn’t know if I knew a good answer. I took a deep breath and turned back toJoan. “I’m not sure. I’m discouraged. I wonder if God wants good things for myfamily as much as I want them. I feel guilty for saying that but that’s what Ifeel like some days.”
“But you know that’s not the truth, right?”
I nodded but then I bit my lip. Did I really? Did I believein my heart of hearts that God wanted my family restored? I took a deep breath.Yes, I did know God wanted to redeem this for His glory. I also know it mightnot happen that way.
I cleared my throat. “I guess sometimes it’s just as scaryto hope as it is to face a loss. I’ve faced a lot of disappointment this year.”I swallowed back a lump as I thought of the day I had fasted and prayed. Could Itrust God with my heart, even if it broke again? Again, in my hear,t I told Godyes, that I surrendered my future to Him.
Joan smiled at me. “And I would encourage you to keepreminding yourself, and your family, to combat the lies the enemy tries toplant in our minds. God is capable of redeeming this. He loves everyoneinvolved in this more than you can imagine. He came to bring life to those deadin sin. And God’s life-giving power is far more powerful than the death sin canbring.”
I nodded. I took a deep breath. “I need be reminded.”
Joan laughed. “We all need to be reminded. We are forgetful.That’s why we need people around us who will remind us of the truth.”

As I ate the leftovers of the Indian food, I pulled out somesticky notes. I put a few reminders I needed to combat the lies in my head andput them on the wall. I nodded.
Weekly Mercies:
Joan
Indian food
God’s mercy toward me when I’m forgetful.
June 15, 2025
Episode #25: The Weekly Mercies of Pam Ellis

The summer heat was already bad, and that was first thing inthe morning. Of course, some would say I shouldn’t have had hot tea to begin myday, but I found a cup of tea in the morning to be soothing and a habit hard tobreak even on hot June days. I had sipped my tea while listening to the bibleand put a few stitches into my quilt before I came to work. I wanted to finishit this week.
Today would be a fun day at the store. We were having a bookfair of sorts we had seven authors from the area who were here to do booksignings and we had projects for the kids. I Adjusted a table and then wentinto the back. I pulled out the ice chest that had been carefully sanitizedafter the last use and pulled into the tea-making area. While iced teas werenot something we did a lot, I assumed we would do quite a bit today. As ouricemaker would probably not be able to keep up, I emptied the ice already madeinto the cooler to make more room for new ice.
“I see you started early.”
I smiled at Lacie and Jared as they entered from the back.“As instructed. Although, I just emptied the ice into the cooler and I probablyshould have done that first.
Jared waved his hand. “I’ll swing over to the soda fountaina couple doors down and buy some ice off of them later if we need it.”
Lacie sat down, rubbing at her lower back. “Okay, theauthors should start arriving at the opening time to set up their tables. Jaredwill help them set up and make sure they move their cars over the libraryparking lot.”
Jared gave a bow. “And of course, offer to drive them backhere as their shofar.”
Lacie nodded. “I’ll manage the checkout station. Rob from church is coming for extra security. You remember him, right Pam?”
I nodded. The man was built like a football player and hadhelped out with a couple of events. He had some security job with a weird schedule.He wore plain clothes and had saved us from a shoplifter a few times on busydays.
Lacie nodded. “Pam will man the tea counter. Oh! And thereis this artist who I found online. She does mainly watercolors, but she hasrecently started on chalk.”
I glanced at Jared and lifted a brown. He gave a small shakeof his head. Did that mean he didn’t know how this related to this event or thatI shouldn’t ask?”
Lacie smiled up at me. “Oh, I promise her work is amazing.”
I decided to risk it. “Are we selling her work here?”
Lacie looked confused and then laughed. “Oh, sorry. Mypregnancy brain. I messaged her because I saw on her social media account thatshe was thinking about selling stickers and I wanted to see if she would let uscarry them. Well, she is in town today to visit that cute new bridal shop intown and we talked. She is going to do our chalkboard sign for the day and wewill probably carry some of the work.”
I smiled. “That does sound good.”
“Well,” Jared slapped his legs. “I guess we had better geteverything finished. What’s left to do?”

I was grateful to see Jared entering with another bag ofice. I was struggling to keep up with the orders, I didn’t need to fall furtherbehind for lack of ingredients.
I handed the mom the four cups of our berry delight, afavorite among the kids. It was a sweeter tea and we had added a touch ofsweetener to these as we blended them with ice.
A couple stepped up to the counter. The young man had hishands in his pockets and was bouncing on his toes. The young woman smiled. “Istill haven’t decided what to have. What’s your favorite?”
I smiled and hoped this wouldn’t take too long. Two morepeople had joined the queue. “The Lavender Vanilla tea with a littlehalf-and-half”
“Iced or hot?”
“I usually do it hot, but it’s good either way. Wait, aren’tyou Pace, the artist?”
She tucked hair behind her ear. “Yes, I guess so. I’ll have it hot”
I nodded and started making the tea. “Where are you from?”
Pace smiled. “I grew up near the coast. My father was a shipbuilder, but I’m currently living out in the Hill Country. Do you know LostMaples?”
I nodded. “My family took a trip out there a few years agoto see the fall colors.”
“My fiancé’s family owes a campout that way.”
Something clicked in my head. “Would that be the one Laciedoes the women’s retreats at?”
Pace glanced at the man beside her. “Umm, Jeremiah? Did youhear that?”
The young man’s head snapped to me and then his fiancé. Deepred filled his cheeks. “I’m sorry, Pace. I wasn’t listening like I shouldhave.”
She looped her arm through his. “It’s okay I know with allthe time sitting today and now hanging out in a bookshop has been hard for you.He’s a doer.”
I smiled. How interesting that an artist and an active youngman would end up together.
“What was the question?” He asked. He had stopped bouncingon his toes and his full attention was on Pace.”
“Has Lacie, the owner of this shop, been out to the camp?”
Jeremiah nodded “Oh yeah. They host a widow's retreat everyyear. That’s actually how Ellie and Samuel met.”
“Really?” Pace smiled. “Tell me about it.” She took her teaand tapped her card.
I smiled as I watched them walk away Jeremiah animated as hetold a story.
I dropped into bed exhausted, but I grabbed my merciesnotebook. I smiled at the five new books I had bought and had signed by some ofthe authors who had been in the shop as well as the stickers by Pace Lacie hadgiven me. I smiled at the Jane Austen quotes on them.
Mercies today fromGod:
The beauty in art
The beauty in the artof words
A successful day atthe shop
My new books
June 13, 2025
Longhorn Cavern State Park

This month, Scott and I took our first State Park adventure in many weeks. My pregnancy really slowed me down this spring, as well as some early, very hot weather. We were glad to finally get back into adventuring together. We visited a state park we hadn't officially explored and had so much fun.
Longhorn Cavern State Park is a very small state park. It has just over a mile of hiking trails, some pretty cool CCC-built buildings, and (of course) the cave.
The cave tour is a little pricy. We splurged on it (we went on a weekday at it was $25.25 each) and really enjoyed it. This one has a few water-made formations like soda straws, flow formations, stalactites, and stalagmites. However, the parts that impressed me most were the rocks. The primarily limestone walls gave so much to look at.


My favorite sections were the ones were where the walls were made up of pretty, sparkly rocks.

Although the grounds aren't extensive, we enjoyed hiking along the well-shaded trails. Considering that it was a hot day and I wasn't at my best I found the hiking trails both easy and perfect for such a day.

If you decide to visit. Don't miss the CCC-built buildings. Two of them have towers with stairs to the top and the views are really wonderful.

Other facts:Is this a CCC park? Yes!Do you need to make a reservation? On weekends or busy seasons, you should book your cave tour ahead. Sarah's favorite spots: The cave, the CCC observation tower, the picnic tablesWhat else can I do at this park? There is a picnic area, and it's within a few minutes of Inks Lake State ParkCamping? None. This is a day-use-only state park
June 11, 2025
A Rainbow

"So, why has Sarah been so quiet of late?"
A very good question my friends and one for which there is a very good, beautiful gift-from-God answer. But, because I am a storyteller, I of course am not going to just blurt it out, but tell you the story.

Before Scott and I got married, we both knew we wanted children. We also knew we didn't want to wait long to have them. We had been married just over three months when I got a positive pregnancy test, but only a couple of days later, I lost the baby. It was an early loss that was hard, in a way, but it also didn't even feel real.
A couple of months later, another pink line told us we were expecting again. We eagerly showed up to our first prenatal appointment, only to be told "I'm so sorry". The loss was both emotionally and physically very draining and it took months for me to feel normal again.
In early 2024, when we found out we were expecting again, we wanted to be hopeful, but it was hard. God led us to a wonderful OB who helped us navigate through a scare... and another loss. A battery of tests turned nothing of note wrong. I honestly was ready to put aside the dream of having kids. The losses were hard on me and our families.
God had other plans.
In March, I got another positive test. Well, actually, two of them because I needed to see the results twice. We asked our families and church friends to start praying (as we had for the last pregnancies as well). None of my other babies had lived past six weeks. So when I started bleeding at six weeks I knew what was happening. I called the OB on duty and made arrangements to go in the next morning to confirm what I knew to be happening.
My friends, you know how the Bible speaks of the peace that surpasses all understanding? That is what I felt. I was sad and anxious, yes, but I knew God held me, my little one, and the future in His hands.
The moment we saw the baby on the screen I burst into tears because I could see so clearly something I had never seen in any sonogram before: a little heart beating. It was too early to hear it but we could see it.

We heard it the next week.
The following week, the baby was wiggling around like crazy. They finally felt confident enough to move to a more normal schedule of appointments. Last week, I officially entered the second trimester and we saw our little one grown, moving, and healthy.
And we are humbled.
This isn't always how God chooses to answer. Many couples who long for a child can't ever conceive. Some deal with loss after loss and never hear anything other than "I'm so sorry." And of course, we aren't guaranteed a favorable outcome now. While the risk of miscarriage drops dramatically in the second trimester, that doesn't mean it can't happen.
I thank you for your prayers. I hope to give y'all more updates about my life and our little one soon