Marlene Chism's Blog, page 14

How can leaders improve connection in the new year?

Human beings are wired for connection. Research shows that feeling disconnected causes pain.

In a hybrid workplace where we have tools for connection like Zoom and Microsoft Teams, it’s still easy to lose connection when some people are unintentionally excluded. With new understanding, leaders can consciously create more connectivity.

In this post, I’m sharing six observations so that you can identify problem areas. With each observation, I’m also offering a mindset shift and a specific skill set you can use to consciously increase connection in the new year.

1. Share the mic

Observation: Being a participant on many Zoom meetings in 2021, I couldn’t help but notice how often some were unintentionally excluded from the conversation. Often one or two people dominated the conversation with questions, insights, additions, and ideas. They barely took an appropriate breath to allow for interruption.

The dominant engagers seemed unaware that several people had not yet allowed opportunity to contribute.  This tendency to dominate arises from a lack of awareness about the time allotment or perhaps an unconscious belief in time scarcity.

Mindset shift: There’s time for me and for others.

Skill set: Self-awareness. Note how much time you talk versus others. Feel the discomfort of allowing others to speak before you speak.

2. Stop trying to impress others

Observation: When you notice someone using big words, one-upping others in a conversation, discounting another person’s success, or over-complicating processes, they are likely trying to impress others.

Trying to impress others comes from a lack of self-worth and the need to get approval. Unfortunately, this behavior does little to impress others; instead creating further disconnection. If you observe this tendency with an employee, you might need to coach them and reassure them that it’s better to be impressed by others than to try to impress others.

Mindset shift: I’m enough just as I am.

Skill set: Noticing insecurities and thoughts of needing other people’s admiration or approval. Sincerely acknowledge other people’s success as often as possible.

3. Choose curiosity over certainty

Observation: I’ve coached high-level leaders on initiating difficult conversations, and a common objection is, “I already know what they’re going to say.” What I explain is, while you can predict a pattern, you don’t really know what someone will say until they actually say it.

The reason we avoid conversations is because we make predictions based on past patterns. What we don’t realize is that we’re also in a pattern: a pattern of assuming, which contributes to the predictable outcome. Avoiding the elephant in the room only deepens the disconnect.

Mindset: I could be wrong about how I’m seeing things.

Skill set: Learn the art of radical listening. Acknowledge and inquire. Say something like, “That’s an interesting point of view. Tell me more.” Then close your mouth until you’ve really heard what the other person has to say, not what you assumed they would say.

4. Stop getting distracted

Observation: Some business meetings drain your energy. That’s because the conversation resembles popcorn in the wind. There are too many priorities, multiple left-hand turns, and no action items to follow up on.

This happens at group meetings on site, Zoom meetings and one-on-one meetings. Allowing distractions makes people dread meeting with you; therefore, they disconnect before the conversation begins.

Mindset: There’s an intention and a desired end result for every meeting.

Skill set: Planning the conversation’s intention and goals is the key to avoiding distraction. Decide in advance where you want the conversation to go and the kind of tone you expect. What’s the final outcome? What action items require follow through? How long will the meeting last?

5. Create space

Observation: When there’s no space in the conversation, it’s easy for participants to drift and disconnect. While facilitating some livestreams on LinkedIn, I watched my recorded video. I had my fair share of filler words and run-on sentences.

Mindset: It’s OK to feel discomfort. I don’t have to fill every space.

Skill set: Watch your video replay and count the filler words, qualifiers and run-on sentences in the first 10 minutes. It’s painful but worthwhile.

6. Facilitate

Observation: Sometimes on video calls, you’ll be invited to participate in groups without a designated facilitator. The result is often no organization, frustration and lots of wasted time.

Mindset: Someone has to take the lead. If no facilitator was assigned, my suggestion is to jump in and say “I volunteer to facilitate unless someone else is dying to do it.”

Skill set: Assess the time allotment, create a mini-agenda and mark how much time is allotted to each person. If you’ve been designated as the facilitator, explain that each person gets a certain allotment of time and then facilitate a round-robin — with a timer, if necessary.

Conclusion

In a technological world with many tools to create connectivity, many still feel excluded. Leaders with the awareness and skills can consciously contribute to a culture, a department or an experience where everyone feels more connected.

Article originally published on SmartBrief.

Marlene Chism is a consultant, international speaker and the author of “Stop Workplace Drama” (Wiley 2011), “No-Drama Leadership” (Bibliomotion 2015) and the forthcoming book “From Conflict to Courage” (Berrett-Koehler 2022). She is a recognized expert on the LinkedIn Global Learning platform. Connect with Chism via  or at MarleneChism.com.

The post How can leaders improve connection in the new year? appeared first on Marlene Chism.

Stop trying to impress others

This is my second post in my series on getting more connected in 2022.

The tip is to stop trying to impress others. Perhaps you’ve already learned this lesson, but chances are some of the leaders you mentor may struggle with trying to prove themselves.

When you notice someone using big words, one-upping others in a conversation, discounting another person’s success, or over-complicating processes, they are likely trying to impress others.

Trying to impress others comes from a lack of self-worth and the need to get approval. Unfortunately, this behavior does little to impress others; instead creating further disconnection. If you observe this tendency with an employee, you might need to coach them and reassure them that it’s better to be impressed by others than to try to impress others.

Mindset shift: I’m enough just as I am.

Skill set: Noticing insecurities and thoughts of needing other people’s admiration or approval. Sincerely acknowledge other people’s success as often as possible.

Strive to notice in others the qualities you want to see in yourself, then you’ll get the recognition you desire.

The post Stop trying to impress others appeared first on Marlene Chism.

Include Others

I no longer set resolutions, but every year I come up with a word to focus on. This year my word is connection. So many are starving for more connection—to really be seen and heard. As leaders we can intentionally facilitate more connection and inclusion. I’ll be offering a series on getting more connected in 2022.

Tip #1 Share the Mic

Being a participant on many Zoom meetings in 2021, I couldn’t help but notice how often some were unintentionally excluded from the conversation. Often one or two people dominated the conversation with questions, insights, additions, and ideas. They barely took an appropriate breath to allow for interruption.

The dominant engagers seemed unaware that several people had not yet allowed opportunity to contribute.  This tendency to dominate arises from a lack of awareness about the time allotment or perhaps an unconscious belief in time scarcity.

Mindset shift: There’s time for me and for others.

Skill set: Self-awareness. Note how much time you talk versus others. Feel the discomfort of allowing others to speak before you speak.

If you facilitate virtual meetings, make sure you invite others into the conversation, and put some limits on those who are unaware of how much time they’re taking.

The post Include Others appeared first on Marlene Chism.

Communicating as a Hybrid Leader

Communications in a hybrid workplace requires leaders to become excellent communicators.

No longer is it possible to rely totally on off-the cuff conversations, hallway meetings or scheduled gatherings in a physical room.

Today’s hybrid leader must acquire good writing and speaking skills, as well as competency on various platforms.

Hybrid leaders excel at using digital communications such as email or text, and they adapt to various meeting platforms like Zoom or Microsoft Teams.

Here are some quick tips to become a better communicator in a hybrid work environment.

Text is OK for short updates or requestsKeep emails simple and short with the action item as the endSpace and format emails for easy readingDifficult conversations require video or in-person meetingsPhone trumps email for complex issues

It’s through communication we get results. If there’s too much confusion, excessive unresolved conflict, and lack of follow-through, it could be ineffective communication, lack of skills for using various platforms or using the wrong tools for what the situation requires.

The post Communicating as a Hybrid Leader appeared first on Marlene Chism.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

There’s nothing like inconsistency to erode trust; that’s why it’s so important for leaders to walk their talk.

No matter what a leader says they are committed to, it’s behavior that counts. When the talk doesn’t equal the walk employees know something’s off.

When the rules constantly change, or when there’s a different standard for different people, employees lose faith in the integrity of their leader.

Other behaviors that show up as inconsistency or misalignment:

Not enforcing policiesInconsistent follow-throughEverything is urgent

What to do: Review the policies and if you find inconsistencies make aligned changes and communicate the changes. Schedule regular communications for follow up and follow through. Stop acting like everything is an emergency. Clearly state the priorities, and if priorities shift, give an explanation. This discipline creates awareness and accountability.

Words are important, but actions speak louder than words.

To your success,

Marlene Chism

The post Actions Speak Louder Than Words appeared first on Marlene Chism.

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Reduce Anxiety and Regain Leadership Effectiveness

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