Amy Mah's Blog, page 22
May 10, 2014
Vampire Special Offer
Special offer price on VAMPIRE Kindle
Just 1.99 !!!!!!!
VAMPIRE
Only 1.99 !!!!!
Amazon UK
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Vampire-Amy-Mah-ebook/dp/B00K1ZFAZE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1399736503&sr=8-1&keywords=amy+mah
Amazon World
http://www.amazon.com/Vampire-Amy-Mah-ebook/dp/B00K1ZFAZE/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1399736623&sr=8-2-fkmr0&keywords=amy+mah+vam%5Bpire
This very funny vampire novel is very different from your normal vampire book and not just because it is bursting with full colour art fitted in with the text showing the life of a young vampire forced to walk about in a transparent nightdress all day without underwear because that is what female vampires are supposed to do!
Unlike the undead sex mad vampire maids, Amy was a living vampire and the main difference apart from having better teeth and a pulse, meant she felt and suffered the cold invasive winds blowing along the corridors, most female vampire called them male winds due to the way they were always trying to rip the nightdresses off them.
From fighting in skin tight painted on body suits to learning to hang upside down from a ceiling in a nightdress without showing the world what you had for lunch, was just the start of her vampire training program.
And yes it's normal for a girl to dream about Guys, even if the girl happens to be a blood sucking denizen of the night - - - - It’s just that this denizen wishes the dreams could involve chocolates and holding hands and not leaping out on someone, ripping his shirt off and demanding to know what blood type he is, well at least not on the first date.
(Amy the vampire:……
“The massacre on 22nd and 3rd was greatly exaggerated by the human newspapers and not altogether my fault. It was my very first hunting trip, and a girl should not be judged by her first bite night. And no one ever talks about me saving the life of that cat. Besides, most of them kind of killed themselves without any help from me.”…………….
“And before tonight it was only one male that I killed by ripping his throat out with my teeth.”………….
“And no, I did not then eat him. I don’t normally eat vampires. I think I just chewed and swallowed what I had in my mouth after I bit him. That was all, and it was not that he even tasted that good. Besides, it was only three or four mouthfuls before he threw me off.”)
**************
Books With Teeth Reviews
Vampire: By Amy Mah offers exactly what I was looking for in a Vampire novel. She creates a vampire society that lives just out of sight of humans but close enough to get a midnight snack...or take out if they feel like staying home! The story takes place around the life of Amy Mah a typical teenage girl in every way except for instead of painting her nails and worrying about shoes she polishes her Fangs and sharpens her claws both hand and foot!
That of course does not sound typical at all but for Amy it is. Our teenage Vampire soon finds herself swept up in a world of social intrigue and ancient hierarchy as she enters the hidden world of the Vampires. Adopted by her ""Uncle"" and ""Aunt"" Pinkbat, Amelia becomes one of the clan and quickly finds she needs to grow up fast and catch up on the rules of being a Vampire if she is to survive long in a cut throat society filled with political feuds and clan territorial disputes. Being a Vampire is not as Romantic as Hollywood makes it out to be!
Amy has a writing style that is refreshing and well thought out. She handles the romance tastefully and you can tell the character is an extension of the author herself. The illustrated version is a real treat because you get to see, obviously, illustrations of the characters done by the talented Heby Sim. This adds a significant value to the book. I suggest that everyone read this book. Give it a try because there will be more coming from this EXTREMELY talented author.
CLICK HERE TO SEE BOOK VIDEO !!!
…………..
http://youtu.be/ZiAPGb2PPnw
Just 1.99 !!!!!!!
VAMPIRE
Only 1.99 !!!!!
Amazon UK
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Vampire-Amy-Mah-ebook/dp/B00K1ZFAZE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1399736503&sr=8-1&keywords=amy+mah
Amazon World
http://www.amazon.com/Vampire-Amy-Mah-ebook/dp/B00K1ZFAZE/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1399736623&sr=8-2-fkmr0&keywords=amy+mah+vam%5Bpire
This very funny vampire novel is very different from your normal vampire book and not just because it is bursting with full colour art fitted in with the text showing the life of a young vampire forced to walk about in a transparent nightdress all day without underwear because that is what female vampires are supposed to do!
Unlike the undead sex mad vampire maids, Amy was a living vampire and the main difference apart from having better teeth and a pulse, meant she felt and suffered the cold invasive winds blowing along the corridors, most female vampire called them male winds due to the way they were always trying to rip the nightdresses off them.
From fighting in skin tight painted on body suits to learning to hang upside down from a ceiling in a nightdress without showing the world what you had for lunch, was just the start of her vampire training program.
And yes it's normal for a girl to dream about Guys, even if the girl happens to be a blood sucking denizen of the night - - - - It’s just that this denizen wishes the dreams could involve chocolates and holding hands and not leaping out on someone, ripping his shirt off and demanding to know what blood type he is, well at least not on the first date.
(Amy the vampire:……
“The massacre on 22nd and 3rd was greatly exaggerated by the human newspapers and not altogether my fault. It was my very first hunting trip, and a girl should not be judged by her first bite night. And no one ever talks about me saving the life of that cat. Besides, most of them kind of killed themselves without any help from me.”…………….
“And before tonight it was only one male that I killed by ripping his throat out with my teeth.”………….
“And no, I did not then eat him. I don’t normally eat vampires. I think I just chewed and swallowed what I had in my mouth after I bit him. That was all, and it was not that he even tasted that good. Besides, it was only three or four mouthfuls before he threw me off.”)
**************
Books With Teeth Reviews
Vampire: By Amy Mah offers exactly what I was looking for in a Vampire novel. She creates a vampire society that lives just out of sight of humans but close enough to get a midnight snack...or take out if they feel like staying home! The story takes place around the life of Amy Mah a typical teenage girl in every way except for instead of painting her nails and worrying about shoes she polishes her Fangs and sharpens her claws both hand and foot!
That of course does not sound typical at all but for Amy it is. Our teenage Vampire soon finds herself swept up in a world of social intrigue and ancient hierarchy as she enters the hidden world of the Vampires. Adopted by her ""Uncle"" and ""Aunt"" Pinkbat, Amelia becomes one of the clan and quickly finds she needs to grow up fast and catch up on the rules of being a Vampire if she is to survive long in a cut throat society filled with political feuds and clan territorial disputes. Being a Vampire is not as Romantic as Hollywood makes it out to be!
Amy has a writing style that is refreshing and well thought out. She handles the romance tastefully and you can tell the character is an extension of the author herself. The illustrated version is a real treat because you get to see, obviously, illustrations of the characters done by the talented Heby Sim. This adds a significant value to the book. I suggest that everyone read this book. Give it a try because there will be more coming from this EXTREMELY talented author.
CLICK HERE TO SEE BOOK VIDEO !!!
…………..
http://youtu.be/ZiAPGb2PPnw
Special offer price on VAMPIRE by amy Mah on Kindle
VAMPIRE
Only 1.99 !!!!!
Amazon UKhttp://www.amazon.co.uk/Vampire-Amy-Mah-ebook/dp/B00K1ZFAZE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1399736503&sr=8-1&keywords=amy+mah
Amazon Worldhttp://www.amazon.com/Vampire-Amy-Mah-ebook/dp/B00K1ZFAZE/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1399736623&sr=8-2-fkmr0&keywords=amy+mah+vam%5Bpire
This very funny vampire novel is very different from your normal vampire book and not just because it is bursting with full colour art fitted in with the text showing the life of a young vampire forced to walk about in a transparent nightdress all day without underwear because that is what female vampires are supposed to do!
Unlike the undead sex mad vampire maids, Amy was a living vampire and the main difference apart from having better teeth and a pulse, meant she felt and suffered the cold invasive winds blowing along the corridors, most female vampire called them male winds due to the way they were always trying to rip the nightdresses off them.
From fighting in skin tight painted on body suits to learning to hang upside down from a ceiling in a nightdress without showing the world what you had for lunch, was just the start of her vampire training program.
And yes it's normal for a girl to dream about Guys, even if the girl happens to be a blood sucking denizen of the night - - - - It’s just that this denizen wishes the dreams could involve chocolates and holding hands and not leaping out on someone, ripping his shirt off and demanding to know what blood type he is, well at least not on the first date.
(Amy the vampire:……
“The massacre on 22nd and 3rd was greatly exaggerated by the human newspapers and not altogether my fault. It was my very first hunting trip, and a girl should not be judged by her first bite night. And no one ever talks about me saving the life of that cat. Besides, most of them kind of killed themselves without any help from me.”…………….
“And before tonight it was only one male that I killed by ripping his throat out with my teeth.”………….
“And no, I did not then eat him. I don’t normally eat vampires. I think I just chewed and swallowed what I had in my mouth after I bit him. That was all, and it was not that he even tasted that good. Besides, it was only three or four mouthfuls before he threw me off.”)
**************
Books With Teeth Reviews
Vampire: By Amy Mah offers exactly what I was looking for in a Vampire novel. She creates a vampire society that lives just out of sight of humans but close enough to get a midnight snack...or take out if they feel like staying home! The story takes place around the life of Amy Mah a typical teenage girl in every way except for instead of painting her nails and worrying about shoes she polishes her Fangs and sharpens her claws both hand and foot!
That of course does not sound typical at all but for Amy it is. Our teenage Vampire soon finds herself swept up in a world of social intrigue and ancient hierarchy as she enters the hidden world of the Vampires. Adopted by her ""Uncle"" and ""Aunt"" Pinkbat, Amelia becomes one of the clan and quickly finds she needs to grow up fast and catch up on the rules of being a Vampire if she is to survive long in a cut throat society filled with political feuds and clan territorial disputes. Being a Vampire is not as Romantic as Hollywood makes it out to be!
Amy has a writing style that is refreshing and well thought out. She handles the romance tastefully and you can tell the character is an extension of the author herself. The illustrated version is a real treat because you get to see, obviously, illustrations of the characters done by the talented Heby Sim. This adds a significant value to the book. I suggest that everyone read this book. Give it a try because there will be more coming from this EXTREMELY talented author.
CLICK HERE TO SEE BOOK VIDEO !!!
…………..
http://youtu.be/ZiAPGb2PPnw
Wow look at this it is linked to me but I did not create it, some how it has been created as a feature you can subscribe to on videos I have commented on ........... just lucky some of the videos I talk about are on my books ! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgtixwG86U7k4zUPi3e2kEA
April 23, 2014
A - Z Guide to the hidden cotswolds
The Illustrated Cotswold Guide
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okGtxHuLo-A
An A - Z illustrated guide to what you can see in the Cotswolds, with word and pen the Author describes this wonderful part of England. From the strange sounding Cotswold towns and villages such as Acton Turville and Wyck Rissington with this guide you will be shown sides of the Cotswolds that the average visitor often misses, the text is brought to life with well over 100 pen and ink sketches of Gargoyles and Hobbit like church entrances, Public monuments to medieval punishment tools, Castles to Magic stones, a life time of local knowledge has gone into this book. This book is dedicated to the memory of a great Cotswold artist "Peter Reardon" Many people will remember seeing Peter's work not only in many Cotswold books, but also as regular features in local newspapers. The poem on the back cover The Cotswolds" is a special creation for us by Cotswold poet and family friend Alfred King This book is not only a great guide to the Cotswolds, but a real product of this wonderful part of England, as it has been written, illustrated, designed, printed and published all within the Cotswold area. The Cotswolds The beauty of the Cotswolds is not new. It is not something that has just come about recently. It is, you might even say, as old as the hills themselves.
To the visitor from other parts, it has a unique splendour all it's own. To those fortunate enough to live here, it is seen in a different way. Through the ages this beauty has been captured by the artist's brush, the pen of the writer and in more recent times, the camera lens of the photographer. There are many fine paintings in existence of the great country houses in wonderful settings, and much has been written of the towns and villages of the Cotswolds. But it is not only beauty to be found in these hills, they are rich in history also. The Romans came, stayed a while and then left. They were about the first to leave us monuments of their advanced way of life that we can understand today. Then came the Saxons, the Danes and the Normans. Each left something by which to remember them. In more recent times great houses have been built and are there for all to see, each giving something to history and in particular, the Cotswolds. Some of these features have been included in this book, so that you can be acquainted in words and pictures, with but a few of the details that make up the wonderful story of these hills.
The Cotswolds intriguing, majestic, even cruel in its own way. There is a bigness that is breathtaking, especially during the summer, a loneliness that can be frightening during the winter, but always a grandeur, as powerful as an exciting tale that not one little bit must be missed. Perhaps early man found the excitement of these hills a good reason for settling in them. They offered a natural fortification in many instances for settlements, often with views over the valley of the Severn, where animals could be hunted and fish caught in the river. There were also numerous small rivers which offered fish, water and game. It is hoped that your visit to the Cotswolds will be most enjoyable, and if, with the help of these pages, more memorable, then the object of this publication will have been achieved.
Amazon:http://www.amazon.co.uk/Illustrated-Cotswold-Guide-Sometimes-Driveabout-ebook/dp/B00BMP6AGK/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1398289417&sr=8-3&keywords=the+illustrated+cotswolds
http://www.amazon.com/The-Illustrated-Cotswold-Guide-Driveabout/dp/1874192715/ref=tmm_pap_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1398290276&sr=8-1
The Illustrated Cotswold Guide
The Illustrated Cotswold Guide https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okGtxHuLo-A
An A - Z illustrated guide to what you can see in the Cotswolds, with word and pen the Author describes this wonderful part of England. From the strange sounding Cotswold towns and villages such as Acton Turville and Wyck Rissington with this guide you will be shown sides of the Cotswolds that the average visitor often misses, the text is brought to life with well over 100 pen and ink sketches of Gargoyles and Hobbit like church entrances, Public monuments to medieval punishment tools, Castles to Magic stones, a life time of local knowledge has gone into this book. This book is dedicated to the memory of a great Cotswold artist "Peter Reardon" Many people will remember seeing Peter's work not only in many Cotswold books, but also as regular features in local newspapers. The poem on the back cover The Cotswolds" is a special creation for us by Cotswold poet and family friend Alfred King This book is not only a great guide to the Cotswolds, but a real product of this wonderful part of England, as it has been written, illustrated, designed, printed and published all within the Cotswold area. The Cotswolds The beauty of the Cotswolds is not new. It is not something that has just come about recently. It is, you might even say, as old as the hills themselves.
To the visitor from other parts, it has a unique splendour all it's own. To those fortunate enough to live here, it is seen in a different way. Through the ages this beauty has been captured by the artist's brush, the pen of the writer and in more recent times, the camera lens of the photographer. There are many fine paintings in existence of the great country houses in wonderful settings, and much has been written of the towns and villages of the Cotswolds. But it is not only beauty to be found in these hills, they are rich in history also. The Romans came, stayed a while and then left. They were about the first to leave us monuments of their advanced way of life that we can understand today. Then came the Saxons, the Danes and the Normans. Each left something by which to remember them. In more recent times great houses have been built and are there for all to see, each giving something to history and in particular, the Cotswolds. Some of these features have been included in this book, so that you can be acquainted in words and pictures, with but a few of the details that make up the wonderful story of these hills.
The Cotswolds intriguing, majestic, even cruel in its own way. There is a bigness that is breathtaking, especially during the summer, a loneliness that can be frightening during the winter, but always a grandeur, as powerful as an exciting tale that not one little bit must be missed. Perhaps early man found the excitement of these hills a good reason for settling in them. They offered a natural fortification in many instances for settlements, often with views over the valley of the Severn, where animals could be hunted and fish caught in the river. There were also numerous small rivers which offered fish, water and game. It is hoped that your visit to the Cotswolds will be most enjoyable, and if, with the help of these pages, more memorable, then the object of this publication will have been achieved.
Amazon:http://www.amazon.co.uk/Illustrated-Cotswold-Guide-Sometimes-Driveabout-ebook/dp/B00BMP6AGK/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1398289417&sr=8-3&keywords=the+illustrated+cotswolds
http://www.amazon.com/The-Illustrated-Cotswold-Guide-Driveabout/dp/1874192715/ref=tmm_pap_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1398290276&sr=8-1
An A - Z illustrated guide to what you can see in the Cotswolds, with word and pen the Author describes this wonderful part of England. From the strange sounding Cotswold towns and villages such as Acton Turville and Wyck Rissington with this guide you will be shown sides of the Cotswolds that the average visitor often misses, the text is brought to life with well over 100 pen and ink sketches of Gargoyles and Hobbit like church entrances, Public monuments to medieval punishment tools, Castles to Magic stones, a life time of local knowledge has gone into this book. This book is dedicated to the memory of a great Cotswold artist "Peter Reardon" Many people will remember seeing Peter's work not only in many Cotswold books, but also as regular features in local newspapers. The poem on the back cover The Cotswolds" is a special creation for us by Cotswold poet and family friend Alfred King This book is not only a great guide to the Cotswolds, but a real product of this wonderful part of England, as it has been written, illustrated, designed, printed and published all within the Cotswold area. The Cotswolds The beauty of the Cotswolds is not new. It is not something that has just come about recently. It is, you might even say, as old as the hills themselves.
To the visitor from other parts, it has a unique splendour all it's own. To those fortunate enough to live here, it is seen in a different way. Through the ages this beauty has been captured by the artist's brush, the pen of the writer and in more recent times, the camera lens of the photographer. There are many fine paintings in existence of the great country houses in wonderful settings, and much has been written of the towns and villages of the Cotswolds. But it is not only beauty to be found in these hills, they are rich in history also. The Romans came, stayed a while and then left. They were about the first to leave us monuments of their advanced way of life that we can understand today. Then came the Saxons, the Danes and the Normans. Each left something by which to remember them. In more recent times great houses have been built and are there for all to see, each giving something to history and in particular, the Cotswolds. Some of these features have been included in this book, so that you can be acquainted in words and pictures, with but a few of the details that make up the wonderful story of these hills.
The Cotswolds intriguing, majestic, even cruel in its own way. There is a bigness that is breathtaking, especially during the summer, a loneliness that can be frightening during the winter, but always a grandeur, as powerful as an exciting tale that not one little bit must be missed. Perhaps early man found the excitement of these hills a good reason for settling in them. They offered a natural fortification in many instances for settlements, often with views over the valley of the Severn, where animals could be hunted and fish caught in the river. There were also numerous small rivers which offered fish, water and game. It is hoped that your visit to the Cotswolds will be most enjoyable, and if, with the help of these pages, more memorable, then the object of this publication will have been achieved.
Amazon:http://www.amazon.co.uk/Illustrated-Cotswold-Guide-Sometimes-Driveabout-ebook/dp/B00BMP6AGK/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1398289417&sr=8-3&keywords=the+illustrated+cotswolds
http://www.amazon.com/The-Illustrated-Cotswold-Guide-Driveabout/dp/1874192715/ref=tmm_pap_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1398290276&sr=8-1
April 13, 2014
How to Raise your IQ by Eating Gifted Children
How to Raise your IQ by Eating Gifted Children
Yes this has to be a joke on purpose........ Punctuation would be a good idea or after eating the children perhaps placing the green words above the red would show an IQ improvement
5.0 out of 5 stars Delicious!
By M. Green - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback
Just ate my first gifted child and let me tell you, I feel smarter already. It is a lot of work as gifted childern are hard to come by, but after finding the first and chowing down I'm finally ready to get that GED.
Lewis Burke Frumkes, one of America's very best satirists, sharpens his pen on the fads, fears, and fashions of the urban landscape. Here are 49 hilarious ways to cope with them. Explore the benefits of aerobic typing. Wile a friend with "Exotic Gifts from Harry and Larry" including "Road Imperial Valium—America's Favorite Tranquilizer—Only Better." Take charge of your next meeting with Frumkes's "New Rules of Order," which include Blurting, Interrupting, and Bullwhipping. Jump in the saddle and rope a roach—apartment style. And, of course, raise your I.Q. with a delicious "Gifted Child Fricassee."
About the Author
Lewis Burkes Frumkes is a writer/humorist/teacher/broadcaster. In addition to the many books he's written his writing has appeared in many venues, including Harper's, Punch and the New York Times. He has taught Humanities at Marymount Manhattan College and Harvard University. He lives in New York City.
see book link
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Raise-Your-Ea...
NOW FOR MY VAMPIRES
www.fangsrule.com
A self help guide by Amy Mah (Vampire) for teenage vampire girls, the guide is fully illustrated by manga Artist Heby and is written in an easy to follow A - Z format explaining everything a teenage vampire girl would need to know about living life as a modern Vampire. What is fashionable to wear when eating out? Fang maintenance & how to keep your claws sharp. Should you let a boy bite you on the first date? Easy to understand clear advice is given to every day problems Example: When you get an urge to bite: We all get those normal urges to bite things, and I must point out it is very normal, Claws are all well and good in a fight but a bite gives the extra advantage of getting a refreshing drink at the same time. Lots of girls worry about showing their Fangs in public believing that to show your fangs is rude, but don't be shy they can be a girls greatest asset (ok second greatest asset) if a boy is being rude to you, don't just snarl at him, just bite him! You are a vampire why do you think you have sharp teeth if not for sinking them into a boy that is being rude to you.
Today's world is difficult for everyone, especially teenagers. They face the stresses of school, deciding whom to date, and the biggie of sex, just to name a few. Imagine all of those things ten times worse, and you might get an idea of what it's like being a living, breathing teenage vampire. At last, the world can read about the life of a girl with good teeth, her problems with strong sunlight that gave her spots, and the sunblock that made her hair go yucky and produced more spots. Yes, sunlight was dangerous, as she could be the first teenager in history to die from terminal acne! In her everyday life, older vampires expected her to walk about at night in the traditional female uniform, a see-through, 18th-century nightdress, without undies! Well, this female vampire knew why the cold winds blowing along the corridors were called, "male winds," so she wore her see-through nightdress over jeans and a very thick jumper. To be sure that people would still know she was a vampire, the jumper had a very large, pink bat on it. And as to guys, well, it was normal for a girl to dream about guys; she just wished the dreams could have involved chocolates and holding hands, not leaping out at someone, ripping off his shirt, and demanding to know what blood type he was (at least not on the first date).
April 6, 2014
50 Awesome Moments Only Writers Would Understand by Christina Rozelle
50 Awesome Moments Only Writers Would Understand Jan6by Christina Rozelle
50. That awesome writer moment when you type “The End.”
49. That awesome writer moment when you reread something you just wrote and it’s like reading something somebody else wrote, and you wonder where the hell it came from.
48. That thankful writer moment when you get the kids to bed and you FINALLY get to sit your ass down and write.
47. That sad writer moment when you discover that a character you’ve grown to really like/love . . . has to die.
46. That awesome writer moment when you realize that what you are writing is bigger than you, is coming from some place beyond you, and you are but a vestibule for the creative workings of the Universe to materialize. . . . When that Universal truth comes to you as a gift to be shared through your talent, humbly, a light for others to see themselves and the world by.
45. That moment when you realize you need to kill your darlings. (See above)
44. When you realize you are narrating your life in third person again.
43. That awesome writer moment when you’re writing a creepy scene and you keep looking over your shoulder, making sure no one’s behind you. In your own house. In daylight.
42. That moment when an idea to do something perfectly horrible to your characters creeps up on you and makes you smile, evilly.
41. When you are losing an argument so you start correcting their grammar.
40. When your back is killing you, your eyes are buggin’, your legs have lost all their sensation, your forearms, wrists, and elbows are achy and sore, but still you write on like the badass word-slinger that you are.
39. That awkward writer moment when you start talking to a non-reader/writer passionately about your book and they pretend like they care but it’s obvious they are more interested in the activities of a nearby Porta Potty than your book.
38. That Halleluiah! writer moment when you’ve been querying agents/publishers for eons, and you finally get that “yes.”
37. When you get a brilliant idea in the shower and you hop out with soap still on your body to scribble it down on a paper plate with a crayon (or something like that ;) )
36. When you’re on a road trip and you put on your headphones and listen to inspiring music while working out plot details in your head the whole way.
35. That awesome writer moment when you have to pull over to write something down.
34. That moment when the best thing you ever wrote was born on a napkin.
33. That moment when your “emergency fire rescue” box in your house is too full of your writing stuff to fit any family photos, baby keepsakes, important paperwork, etc.
32. When you are constantly catching typos in places they shouldn’t be; cereal boxes, shampoo bottles, text books, signs, and your kid’s printed homework pages . . . . and you make a big deal out of it. And no one else cares.
31. When one kind comment or note of encouragement from a reader/fellow writer can pull you out of that mucky bog of motivation-less self-pity and disenchantment.
30. That sweet moment when someone you know and love reads your book and you feel closer to them.
29. When you have a child within the age bracket of your YA book. (Yes! Priceless input!)
28. When that child doesn’t want to read your book because it doesn’t have vampires in it. (Seriously?)
27. When you read a really awesome book and you have to read it again so you can pick it apart and see exactly how the author made it so freakin’ awesome.
26. When you’re talking with another writer in front of a non-writer and they are awkwardly standing there like, “huh?”
25. That inspiring moment when a big storm comes and you start plotting end of the world weather scenarios and storylines in your head.
24. That awkward moment when you meet someone who reminds you of one of your characters and you’re like, “WTF?”
23. When that plot kink works itself out in a dream, after stressing all day/week/month about it.
22. When you write your first novel and are in love with it . . . .
21. When you look at your first novel a year later and realize what a POS it is . . . .
20. When you see how necessary it was that your first novel be a POS, because you learned so much in the process of writing it.
19. When you would rather write than go out and “party.”
18. When you would rather write than sleep.
17. When you would rather write than do most things.
16. When you’re having an “off” day, and someone gives you unwarranted constructive criticism . . . and you want to tell them what they can do with their unwarranted constructive criticism.
15. When you write drunk and think it’s the best thing you ever wrote . . . .
14. That moment when you look at your drunken mumbo jumbo the next day.
13. When you have more books on your kindle than your local public library has on its shelves.
12. That amazing moment when what you are writing makes you laugh . . . . or cry.
11. That awkward moment when seeing an old typewriter is an aphrodisiac.
10. When you develop a crush on a fictional character . . . . (Hey, he’s eighteen, it’s legal, right?)
9. That moment when a blog post you wrote goes “viral.”
8. That crappy feeling two days after your post went viral when people are so “over it” already.
7. That ancient writer memory of always having ink-stained hands.
6. When you have an elevator-pitch moment with a chance-encounter, and you totally forget what your book is about, how to speak, and that you are even an author in the first place.
5. When you base a character on someone that pisses you off . . . and they just have to die. (hehehe)
4. When you take your shitty day out on your characters . . . and it works . . . and it’sawesome.
3. When you finally meet that special person who “gets” you, and appreciates your word-nerdiness in all its glory.
2. When you light your keyboard on fire because you’re on a roll and the thoughts are flowing and the story has begun writing itself and you can barely keep up.
1. When your characters tell you exactly what they want you to do next . . . or else.
And one to grow on:
The realization that you cannot not write, even if you are not getting paid enough, or at all; because it is who you are. It is your gift.
~~~~
50. That awesome writer moment when you type “The End.”49. That awesome writer moment when you reread something you just wrote and it’s like reading something somebody else wrote, and you wonder where the hell it came from.
48. That thankful writer moment when you get the kids to bed and you FINALLY get to sit your ass down and write.
47. That sad writer moment when you discover that a character you’ve grown to really like/love . . . has to die.
46. That awesome writer moment when you realize that what you are writing is bigger than you, is coming from some place beyond you, and you are but a vestibule for the creative workings of the Universe to materialize. . . . When that Universal truth comes to you as a gift to be shared through your talent, humbly, a light for others to see themselves and the world by.
45. That moment when you realize you need to kill your darlings. (See above)
44. When you realize you are narrating your life in third person again.
43. That awesome writer moment when you’re writing a creepy scene and you keep looking over your shoulder, making sure no one’s behind you. In your own house. In daylight.
42. That moment when an idea to do something perfectly horrible to your characters creeps up on you and makes you smile, evilly.
41. When you are losing an argument so you start correcting their grammar.
40. When your back is killing you, your eyes are buggin’, your legs have lost all their sensation, your forearms, wrists, and elbows are achy and sore, but still you write on like the badass word-slinger that you are.
39. That awkward writer moment when you start talking to a non-reader/writer passionately about your book and they pretend like they care but it’s obvious they are more interested in the activities of a nearby Porta Potty than your book.
38. That Halleluiah! writer moment when you’ve been querying agents/publishers for eons, and you finally get that “yes.”
37. When you get a brilliant idea in the shower and you hop out with soap still on your body to scribble it down on a paper plate with a crayon (or something like that ;) )
36. When you’re on a road trip and you put on your headphones and listen to inspiring music while working out plot details in your head the whole way.
35. That awesome writer moment when you have to pull over to write something down.
34. That moment when the best thing you ever wrote was born on a napkin.
33. That moment when your “emergency fire rescue” box in your house is too full of your writing stuff to fit any family photos, baby keepsakes, important paperwork, etc.
32. When you are constantly catching typos in places they shouldn’t be; cereal boxes, shampoo bottles, text books, signs, and your kid’s printed homework pages . . . . and you make a big deal out of it. And no one else cares.
31. When one kind comment or note of encouragement from a reader/fellow writer can pull you out of that mucky bog of motivation-less self-pity and disenchantment.
30. That sweet moment when someone you know and love reads your book and you feel closer to them.
29. When you have a child within the age bracket of your YA book. (Yes! Priceless input!)
28. When that child doesn’t want to read your book because it doesn’t have vampires in it. (Seriously?)
27. When you read a really awesome book and you have to read it again so you can pick it apart and see exactly how the author made it so freakin’ awesome.
26. When you’re talking with another writer in front of a non-writer and they are awkwardly standing there like, “huh?”
25. That inspiring moment when a big storm comes and you start plotting end of the world weather scenarios and storylines in your head.
24. That awkward moment when you meet someone who reminds you of one of your characters and you’re like, “WTF?”
23. When that plot kink works itself out in a dream, after stressing all day/week/month about it.
22. When you write your first novel and are in love with it . . . .
21. When you look at your first novel a year later and realize what a POS it is . . . .
20. When you see how necessary it was that your first novel be a POS, because you learned so much in the process of writing it.
19. When you would rather write than go out and “party.”
18. When you would rather write than sleep.
17. When you would rather write than do most things.
16. When you’re having an “off” day, and someone gives you unwarranted constructive criticism . . . and you want to tell them what they can do with their unwarranted constructive criticism.
15. When you write drunk and think it’s the best thing you ever wrote . . . .
14. That moment when you look at your drunken mumbo jumbo the next day.
13. When you have more books on your kindle than your local public library has on its shelves.
12. That amazing moment when what you are writing makes you laugh . . . . or cry.
11. That awkward moment when seeing an old typewriter is an aphrodisiac.
10. When you develop a crush on a fictional character . . . . (Hey, he’s eighteen, it’s legal, right?)
9. That moment when a blog post you wrote goes “viral.”
8. That crappy feeling two days after your post went viral when people are so “over it” already.
7. That ancient writer memory of always having ink-stained hands.
6. When you have an elevator-pitch moment with a chance-encounter, and you totally forget what your book is about, how to speak, and that you are even an author in the first place.
5. When you base a character on someone that pisses you off . . . and they just have to die. (hehehe)
4. When you take your shitty day out on your characters . . . and it works . . . and it’sawesome.
3. When you finally meet that special person who “gets” you, and appreciates your word-nerdiness in all its glory.
2. When you light your keyboard on fire because you’re on a roll and the thoughts are flowing and the story has begun writing itself and you can barely keep up.
1. When your characters tell you exactly what they want you to do next . . . or else.
And one to grow on:
The realization that you cannot not write, even if you are not getting paid enough, or at all; because it is who you are. It is your gift.
~~~~
March 31, 2014
The Process of Writing About A Vampire Chef (And More) By Three Time Book Author Laura Enright
Vampire Review
Auhor Laura L. Enrightby Laura L. Enright
My vampire novel, In To Touch the Sun, is set in Chicago. The character of Dom Amato admits that if anyone had told him that one day he’d be asking about the feeding schedule of a vampire, he would have laughed in his face.
I probably would have had done the same if someone had told me that one day I’d write a vampire novel.
As Dom might say, “Life has a funny way about it.”
I’ve enjoyed reading vampire novels but never had a desire, never had an idea for a plot or character that drove me, to write one. Sometimes, however, you have to zigzag a little to achieve a goal.
In 2004, unable to get my novels published, I expressed frustration to a friend who suggested that I write a book for his publisher’s nonfiction signature series. That’s how my first published book Chicago’s Most Wanted: The Top Ten Book of Murderous Mobsters, Midway Monsters and Windy City Oddities (Potomac Publishers 2005) came to be. Hoping to get my foot in the door, along the way I discovered a love of research and writing nonfiction.
A few years after that, I’d been in cordial correspondence with an agent who felt strong enough about my writing potential that he encouraged me to keep sending him material even after rejecting some. I decided to examine some of the books his agency represented and noticed that they represented a vampire series. So, I decided to try my hand at it.
Unlike other novels I’d written in which I had a clear understanding of characters and plot from the start, this one I had only a two word idea: Vampire Chef. From there it was a matter of building. What I ended up with differed greatly from what I started out with; plot character and narrative evolving over time.
It was actually quite exciting to see it take shape and soon I’d fallen in love with the characters. The agent also seemed enthusiastic suggested I send him a proposal when I was finished with the book.
Well, timing truly is everything. By the time I was able to send him a proposal, he’d left the business completely (and quite mysteriously) and his former partners were not interested in the project.
So, on went my search to find an agent or publisher for this novel that I’d never expected to write but was at this point completely obsessed with getting it published (more so than any other book I’ve written). In the next few years I went on to write three more novels in what became a series and a spin off novel featuring two paranormal investigators that appear in the third novel.
With no prior desire to write a vampire novel, I now couldn’t stop writing them. Which I think is one reason this novel is so important to me. Because it’s creation was so unexpected.
While hunting for a publisher, I wrote a second book for Potomac, Vampires’ Most Wanted: The Top Ten Book of Bloodthirsty Biters, Stake-wielding Slayers and Other Undead Oddities (2010) which I hoped would help me interest an agent or publisher while I was shopping around To Touch the Sun. Eventually I was able to find Dagda Publishing out of Nottingham, England. The novel was at last published Feb. 25.
So, my zigzagging has garnered me three published books and some wonderful moments in the marketing of them (the most recent being a segment on a radio show in Chicago which was a lot of fun).
Life certainly does have a funny way about it.
To Touch the Sun is available on Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats at
Hear the author reading the prologue!
Auhor Laura L. Enrightby Laura L. EnrightMy vampire novel, In To Touch the Sun, is set in Chicago. The character of Dom Amato admits that if anyone had told him that one day he’d be asking about the feeding schedule of a vampire, he would have laughed in his face.
I probably would have had done the same if someone had told me that one day I’d write a vampire novel.
As Dom might say, “Life has a funny way about it.”
I’ve enjoyed reading vampire novels but never had a desire, never had an idea for a plot or character that drove me, to write one. Sometimes, however, you have to zigzag a little to achieve a goal.
In 2004, unable to get my novels published, I expressed frustration to a friend who suggested that I write a book for his publisher’s nonfiction signature series. That’s how my first published book Chicago’s Most Wanted: The Top Ten Book of Murderous Mobsters, Midway Monsters and Windy City Oddities (Potomac Publishers 2005) came to be. Hoping to get my foot in the door, along the way I discovered a love of research and writing nonfiction.
A few years after that, I’d been in cordial correspondence with an agent who felt strong enough about my writing potential that he encouraged me to keep sending him material even after rejecting some. I decided to examine some of the books his agency represented and noticed that they represented a vampire series. So, I decided to try my hand at it.Unlike other novels I’d written in which I had a clear understanding of characters and plot from the start, this one I had only a two word idea: Vampire Chef. From there it was a matter of building. What I ended up with differed greatly from what I started out with; plot character and narrative evolving over time.
It was actually quite exciting to see it take shape and soon I’d fallen in love with the characters. The agent also seemed enthusiastic suggested I send him a proposal when I was finished with the book.
Well, timing truly is everything. By the time I was able to send him a proposal, he’d left the business completely (and quite mysteriously) and his former partners were not interested in the project.
So, on went my search to find an agent or publisher for this novel that I’d never expected to write but was at this point completely obsessed with getting it published (more so than any other book I’ve written). In the next few years I went on to write three more novels in what became a series and a spin off novel featuring two paranormal investigators that appear in the third novel.
With no prior desire to write a vampire novel, I now couldn’t stop writing them. Which I think is one reason this novel is so important to me. Because it’s creation was so unexpected.
While hunting for a publisher, I wrote a second book for Potomac, Vampires’ Most Wanted: The Top Ten Book of Bloodthirsty Biters, Stake-wielding Slayers and Other Undead Oddities (2010) which I hoped would help me interest an agent or publisher while I was shopping around To Touch the Sun. Eventually I was able to find Dagda Publishing out of Nottingham, England. The novel was at last published Feb. 25.
So, my zigzagging has garnered me three published books and some wonderful moments in the marketing of them (the most recent being a segment on a radio show in Chicago which was a lot of fun).
Life certainly does have a funny way about it.
To Touch the Sun is available on Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats at
Hear the author reading the prologue!
Dirty Deeds
Book: Dirty DeedsSeries: Cole McGinnis Mystery - Book 4Release Date: March 28, 2014
Author: Rhys FordPublisher: Dreamspinner PressGenre: M/M Mystery RomanceRating: Mature
Sheila Pinelli needed to be taken out.
Former cop turned
private investigator Cole McGinnis never considered committing murder.
But six months ago, when Jae-Min’s blood filled his hands and death came
knocking at his lover’s door, killing Sheila Pinelli became a definite
possibility.
While Sheila lurks in some hidden corner of Los
Angeles, Jae and Cole share a bed, a home, and most of all, happiness.
They’d survived Jae’s traditional Korean family disowning him and plan
on building a new life—preferably one without the threat of Sheila’s
return hanging over them.
Thanks to the Santa Monica police
mistakenly releasing Sheila following a loitering arrest, Cole finally
gets a lead on Sheila’s whereabouts. That is, until the trail goes crazy
and he’s thrown into a tangle of drugs, exotic women, and more death.
Regardless of the case going sideways, Cole is determined to find the
woman he once loved as a sister and get her out of their lives once and
for all.
Arielle: Immortal Quickening -Bk. 4
Book: Arielle: Immortal Quickening -Bk. 4Series: The Immortal RaptureAuthor: Lillian RobertsPublisher: BooktropeGenre: Paranormal RomanceRating: YA
A fatal night...College co-ed Arielle Lloyd is on vacation with her immortal love, Sebastian Gaulle, when they receive word of a dreadful accident. Her dear friend Gabrielle hovers near death. But it's much worse for her beloved friends, Eva and Ian. In spite of Eva's magical abilities, their lives are cut tragically short, leaving Troy the lone survivor.
An immortal choice...Troy Vasser's only love is Gabrielle, but on the night of the accident, his deepest concern is for their dying friends. When the life force within Ian and Eva flickered dangerously low, Troy had to make a hard choice. He could either let them die, or make them lose their humanity and live as immortals. So, he did the only thing he could: he gave them immortality. Now it is up to Arielle to break the news to Eva before the transformation is complete.
A quest for vengeance...Danger continues to stalk Arielle's life. Unknown to her, her new professor is an immortal, and he is furious when discovers that Arielle is wearing an amulet that should only be owned by immortals. Sebastian's nemesis, Annabel, has also not given on her quest to destroy Arielle. What Annabel doesn't realize is that Arielle's circle of friends drastically changed. There are two newly minted immortals that adore her and have vowed to protect her.
Girls 'gifting their virginity'
Purity balls: The girls 'gifting their virginity' to their dads
OK this is creepy, I mean to say CREEPY !!! I thought the idea that women were just a breeding animal was lost in the past.
Wedding-like chastity ceremonies originated in the US - and they're spreading!By Rebecca Gillie7242943610
Getty
Purity balls... no, it's not one of Christian Grey's gadgets in 50 Shades of Grey. The opposite, in fact - it's a special ceremony where a girl pledges to remain 'pure' until her wedding day. In doing so, she 'gifts her virginity' to her father until marriage (luckily, ours prefer socks or a Top Gear box set).
Getty
These balls originated in the US (where else?) and can now be found in 17 countries. They bear a slightly squicky resemblance to wedding ceremonies, with the girls - who are all around the age of 12 but can be as young as seven - usually wearing white gowns for the event.
To add an extra 'ick' factor, official guidelines advise that the ceremony take place when the girls are 'just old enough to have started menstruating'. If there's anything more embarrassing that your dad knowing about your period, it's then having to take a virginity pledge in front of him...
At the ball, the fathers - known as 'protectors' - present their daughters with purity rings representing their commitment to virginity. And finally, the ball ends with a father-daughter dance. Which is probably as much contact with the opposite sex these girls are going to get until they walk down the aisle.
Getty
According to the ceremony, purity means the daughter will have no sexual contact of any kinduntil after marriage. And dating and kissing aren't allowed until they are ready for marriage, which we imagine leads to a wedding night with all kinds of surprises.
One of the largest purity balls in the US has been held for 14 consecutive years at the Broadmoor Hotel (no known relation to the mental hospital) in Colorado Springs.
There, more than 60 fathers pledge 'to protect their daughter's choices for purity'. There are no details on what this entails, but we imagine it involves a lot of sitting on the front porch with a blunderbuss on your lap.
Getty
A recent documentary explores the idea behind these ceremonies, following two families: the Johnsons and the Wilsons, whose father Randy is one of the founders of purity balls.
The families are very different. The Johnsons attend regular high school, whereas the Wilsons are home schooled and mainly socialise with members of their church community.
"Your father is your boyfriend." It sounds like a Freudian nightmare, but it's actually a pastor explaining the purity ring to one of the daughters. "This is just a reminder that keeping yourself pure is important," he says.i"So you keep this [ring] on your finger and from this point you are married to the Lord and your father is your boyfriend."i
The ring is then placed on the girl's wedding finger. It might be more comfortable than medieval chastity belt, but it's intended to perform much the same function.
Getty
The 'purity movement' began in the US in the 1980s, when adolescent members of church communities began taking vows of abstinence in response to the sexual liberation of the time.
While wearing rings to symbolise their commitment to purity began in the 1980s, the idea of purity balls and of girls giving their virginity to their fathers to protect developed much later - Randy Wilson and his wife organised the first one in 1998.
The purity movement has been criticised for promoting the notion that the daughter is a possession to be protected by her father until she is 'given' to her husband.
Some ceremonies even involve the daughter being given a bracelet with a heart-shaped lock, to which her father holds the key until her wedding day, when he hands it over to her husband.
OK this is creepy, I mean to say CREEPY !!! I thought the idea that women were just a breeding animal was lost in the past.
Wedding-like chastity ceremonies originated in the US - and they're spreading!By Rebecca Gillie7242943610
GettyPurity balls... no, it's not one of Christian Grey's gadgets in 50 Shades of Grey. The opposite, in fact - it's a special ceremony where a girl pledges to remain 'pure' until her wedding day. In doing so, she 'gifts her virginity' to her father until marriage (luckily, ours prefer socks or a Top Gear box set).
GettyThese balls originated in the US (where else?) and can now be found in 17 countries. They bear a slightly squicky resemblance to wedding ceremonies, with the girls - who are all around the age of 12 but can be as young as seven - usually wearing white gowns for the event.
To add an extra 'ick' factor, official guidelines advise that the ceremony take place when the girls are 'just old enough to have started menstruating'. If there's anything more embarrassing that your dad knowing about your period, it's then having to take a virginity pledge in front of him...
At the ball, the fathers - known as 'protectors' - present their daughters with purity rings representing their commitment to virginity. And finally, the ball ends with a father-daughter dance. Which is probably as much contact with the opposite sex these girls are going to get until they walk down the aisle.
GettyAccording to the ceremony, purity means the daughter will have no sexual contact of any kinduntil after marriage. And dating and kissing aren't allowed until they are ready for marriage, which we imagine leads to a wedding night with all kinds of surprises.
One of the largest purity balls in the US has been held for 14 consecutive years at the Broadmoor Hotel (no known relation to the mental hospital) in Colorado Springs.
There, more than 60 fathers pledge 'to protect their daughter's choices for purity'. There are no details on what this entails, but we imagine it involves a lot of sitting on the front porch with a blunderbuss on your lap.
GettyA recent documentary explores the idea behind these ceremonies, following two families: the Johnsons and the Wilsons, whose father Randy is one of the founders of purity balls.
The families are very different. The Johnsons attend regular high school, whereas the Wilsons are home schooled and mainly socialise with members of their church community.
"Your father is your boyfriend." It sounds like a Freudian nightmare, but it's actually a pastor explaining the purity ring to one of the daughters. "This is just a reminder that keeping yourself pure is important," he says.i"So you keep this [ring] on your finger and from this point you are married to the Lord and your father is your boyfriend."i
The ring is then placed on the girl's wedding finger. It might be more comfortable than medieval chastity belt, but it's intended to perform much the same function.
GettyThe 'purity movement' began in the US in the 1980s, when adolescent members of church communities began taking vows of abstinence in response to the sexual liberation of the time.
While wearing rings to symbolise their commitment to purity began in the 1980s, the idea of purity balls and of girls giving their virginity to their fathers to protect developed much later - Randy Wilson and his wife organised the first one in 1998.
The purity movement has been criticised for promoting the notion that the daughter is a possession to be protected by her father until she is 'given' to her husband.
Some ceremonies even involve the daughter being given a bracelet with a heart-shaped lock, to which her father holds the key until her wedding day, when he hands it over to her husband.
