Melissa Orlov's Blog, page 8
May 29, 2025
Having boundaries
There are frequent arguments that never resolve and I the non adhd spouse gets blamed and named called. Things continued to worsen and marriage therapy didn't work for him but for me it did. He has adhd and became more obsessive of me. Controlling and paranoid. Im not allowed to have friends with women or men. If someone likes a post and it is a man. Spouse says im sleeping with him. He now got a diagnosis from licensed social worker at a 1 hr appt that she asked questions that he has adhd. But his behavior scares me sometimes. But now he has diagnoses he said it is the adhd causing it. I started my own therapy years ago and im being told this is abuse.
Example. One time I was tired and wanted to go to bed after kids did. I proceeded to get ready for bed and spouse wanted me to spend time with him. I said calmly im just really tired. After I got on bed and room dark he came in started yelling at me for fake sleeping and got on top of the bed on my side to continue to yell. But he he stepped on my food with all his weight and I cried out in pain. He continue to call me bitch and burn in hell. I begged him to leave me alone and all I wanted to sleep. The ironic thing 2 times the previous week he went to bed right after we put kids to bed. 1 was because he was tired and other was feeling sick. Also one night I was sleep and heard something woke up and saw a shado figure. Got scared jumped out of bed to turn on light and was my spouse he started yelling at me for fake sleeping. After that in marriage therapy I explained I will be moving downstairs as I felt uncomfortable. I was afriad to sleep.
But then middle of the nights several times I heard loud thumps above me nest day I would casually ask if he knew what going on and he made it like I was making it up. Well after so many nights not sleeping well I went up stairs quietly and found him hunting up and down on floor.
Can this be adhd? Or something else. I feel it is abuse
But now he has adhd diagnosis he said i make him do things things and adhd cant help it
May 27, 2025
Anyone seen/heard from J?
Just a note...but there used to be a poster here that went by 'J' and he wrote a lot of posts...and I noticed he hasn't posted to the site for a while...just checking if he's here and you are ok? Or if anyone knows he's alright?
Too Many Steps?
Questions I have are whether
(a) anyone has strategies or stories for dealing with ADHD lack of ability to complete simple multi step tasks?
(b) whether there is a difference is multi-step task completion challenges between adult and children?
Here is some background:
So I have ADHD ex wife and ADHD tween son (he youngest of 3) and rest of us not ADHD.
It has been very difficult forever to communicate basic multi-step tasks to the ADHD part of the family.
Until they were diagnosed 5 years ago, I thought it was me not being able to properly describe, even though at work I had colleagues who could listen and retain 10-step tasks and return quickly with perfect execution.
Now I know this is an ADHD challenge, to not be able to easily execute basic daily tasks.
I used to cope by just doing it myself (and still do), but for my own sanity and grey hair abatement, i am trying to encourage skills for them to complete multi-step tasks without me.
For example, regular basic stuff from this past weekend that has been going on for years:
1) "son (12), can you please feed the dog, the new food is at the front door, and put the new bag in the pantry"
(he goes to back door and comes back claiming there is no food)
"the food bag is pink with a picture of a salmon, it is in a black grocery bag at the front door are you sure?"
(he goes to front door and brings back a red back with toilet paper)
"that is red, what about black bag with dog food?"
"try again", i say. he gives up "ohh i can't find it"and starts to get down on himself and almost cry and quit the task.
i have to do it myself, the bag is the same color and place i said.
2) this weekend ADHD ex wife is staying in same hotel another room for 3 day event and the kids are going back and forth between rooms as she is too. Electronic room keys all look the same and she keeps misplacing the keys and forgetting which is which and needs to go to front desk everytime to get into her room. Total chaos since we are coming in and out 10-15 times a day, and after 24hr literally have 10 keys all look the same.
So I go to desk and i get 3 keys for each room in an envelope and label each. I give them to her and say "do not take card key out of labelled envelope".
Few hours later, of course all the keys are out of envelope and she is at the front desk calling my room because her keys are wrong and she forgot her ID back in room.
Basic attention seems non existant and the non-ADHD takes the burden and I am trying to put is back on the ADHD to no avail since they always just give up quickly in my experience....should i just let them fail and fail until they "get it"?
May 25, 2025
Hello, all
Before I get into stuff going on with me, I want to say …
To c_ur_self, it was nice reading how peaceful and happy things are for you. Enjoy your peace and contentment. : )
To Melody and jenna, I am sorry for the passings of your loved ones and what has surely been some complicated grief. Many gentle hugs.
As for me, I have recently come to the most peace that I have had for awhile. I have moved to the place where I realize that my husband isn’t really a husband in my heart anymore. He is family, like all the other family. That realization took so much… unrest (I suppose that is a good word) out of my heart and mind.
The clincher? An anniversary and extended family.
He, as always, even if there is a milestone to celebrate, does not celebrate any day that highlights me. (Yet of course will not tolerate the same in return. One year circumstances prevented the usual present, etc, that I would do for him, and he threw a fit.) But this last year, he spent many hundreds of dollars on family within days of ignoring the usual for me.
I took some time to absorb all of this. It has quieted so much in my heart and head. No more struggling.
The truth seems to be that our relationship exists pretty much to have his needs met. He says that he loves me, but I do not want his style of love. It truly seems to be that if he does something nice for me, then it was because there was something in it for him, too. Even if it was just the dopamine for his starved brain.
I took some time to absorb this and realized that it didn’t upset me like one would think. It was like a final exhale of a dying romance.
And yet I will be staying in this marriage because of very good reasons which will not change. But I am no longer struggling to decide what kind of relationship we have. It is now one of family, not romance. And I can be kind to family, enjoy some nice moments with family, be angry with family, forgive family. I can be generous to family without it costing me too dearly, unlike before.
I now find that I am able to detach from so much more of his adhd. I used to wonder how much is selfishness and how much is adhd. Now, I don’t care. I also used to wish that I could explain to him, in a way that he would truly understand, how his adhd affects me. I no longer care to. I am secure in my knowledge of what this life together has been and will be. I no longer need his understanding or validation.
I feel far less stress and turmoil now. It is wonderful.
May 20, 2025
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Vyvanse 60mg
Vyvanse 60mg Uses, Dosage, Side Effects | medikit.store
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It improves focus and can also help reduce impulsive behaviors. It would curb binge eating by regulating selective chemicals within the brain that work in attention and behavior.
Why Do They Prescribe the Vyvanse 60 mg Dosage?
The 60 mg dosage is usually preferred when:
Lower dosages, such as 30 or 40 mg, fail to provide adequate relief for symptoms. The patient requires that treatment keep the symptoms needing suppression under control throughout the day. Medical practitioners agree in evaluating the dosage of 60 mg is safe and effective for the patient.
How to Take Vyvanse 60 mg?
Take one capsule each morning, without or with meals. Do not take it in t The afternoon as it could cause insomnia. Swallow the capsule whole. Do not crush, chunk, or break up.Vyvanse 60 mg- Dosage and Side Effects
Common side effects may include: Headaches Dry mouth Insomnia Increase heart rate Nervousness or anxietyContact the healthcare provider immediately if complications occur or persist.
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You can safely purchase Vyvanse 60 mg at the online pharmacy medikit.store.
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100% real prescription medicines Fast International Secure Delivery + discreet) Licensed pharmacists for your assistance 24 hours. Ease of uploading prescriptions. Transparent pricing and customer reviews.How to Order Vyvanse 60 mg on medikit.store
Visit medikit.store and search for Vyvanse 60 mg. Upload a copy of your valid prescription. Choose the desired quantity among 30, 60, and 90 capsules. Make an order via a secure payment gateway. Get your meds in a timely fashion and securely at the doorstep.Alright, here we go—
FAQ Time (Because, apparently, people still have questions about everything):
Q1: Can I just snag Vyvanse 60 mg online without a prescription?
Nope. Hate to break it to you, but you can’t waltz in and grab serious meds like Vyvanse without legit paperwork from a doc. It’s prescription only—sorry, no loopholes or back-alley pharmacy shenanigans.
Q2: How long does Vyvanse 60 mg even last?
So, Vyvanse is one of those “in it for the long haul” meds. Pop a dose and you’re probably looking at, what, 10-14 hours of kick? Depends on your body chemistry, your breakfast situation, and random cosmic forces, but yeah—it should run most of the day. No, it won't make you a superhero, just keeps things steady.
It lasts for 10-12 hours, with inter-character variations relying on the metabolic rate.
Q3: Can I take Vyvanse 60 mg with meals?
Yes. You can have it with or without food.
Q4: What happens when I forget a dose?
Take the next dose at the regular time. Do not double-dose.
Conclusion: Is Vyvanse 60 mg Right for Me?
Buying through medikit.store means fast and reliable delivery; they also provide expert support for genuine medicine.
Marriage on Verge of Collapse-ADHD Spouse Digging Heels In
Hi. I have been married to a man with ADHD for 23 years. Maybe a combination of kids starting to fly the nest, me trying to figure out who I am now, and who knows what else, but I am finding myself beyond exhausted and burnt out in dealing with my husband. In the last couple of months our marriage has literally tanked. He has no idea why I am upset, and he rants constantly about things he is upset about and has now issued an 'ultimatum'. I feel like my head is going to explode.
I have homeschooled 4 kids, 2 with pretty severe special needs, for the last 18 years. I handle the vast majority of all household chores, I do all the bills, banking, investments, house-related stuff, and everything to do with the kids. He works from home and has spent the last 20 years trying to build various businesses. We have had years with no income, gone thru all of the kids' college savings, as well as the majority of our retirement savings. There were a few years that things went well where he was making decent money, but far more where he wasn't. For years I begged him to just find a job and work on his businesses in the evenings or weekends, but he always felt 'but we are SO CLOSE'. I quit my career because of the kids' needs.
The business he is working on now is starting to make money and he wants me to be positive and encouraging and his cheerleader, telling him how great I think things are going, be super happy and excited, etc. I feel like i have been on a roller coaster of ups and downs in all his business efforts over the years and i have literally zero energy left to do any more of it. I certainly HOPE this business goes well, but I also know full well that it could just as easily disappear in a few months (b/c this is the reality we have lived for YEARS). If he has a good call where someone says something positive to him, he can literally ride that high for weeks and feel so enthusiastic and excited about his business whereas I see it as nothing more than a good call....for YEARS and in multiple businesses he has talked to me so excitedly about this fantastic call or that one and the vast majority never go anywhere but he somehow gets so excited about positive reinforcement and then gets disappointed, and now mad, when i don't hop on board that happy train with him.
This awful 'season' started when I texted him something important, later in the day texted him again to ask if he had read my original text, and when i didn't get responses on either of those, called him to say 'please make sure you read my texts'. He said he had. Then he did the exact opposite of what I had asked and when he told me that, i was very frustrated and said things like 'i have no idea how to communicate with you! If i text you, and text you again to remind you to read my texts, and call you to make sure, and you STILL don't do it, what is the point of me even communicating in the first place?' - or something along those lines. I am not a yeller, never have been, but i am certain my tone was extreme frustration b/c...well...i was extremely frustrated.
As with all situations like this, my issue (i don't know how to communicate with you) gets entirely dismissed (you KNOW my brain can't do that!! you KNOW that!!! I have no idea how many times i have to tell you that my brain doesn't work like that where i can keep track of a bunch of texts!!), and then it becomes a GINORMOUS diatribe of literally dozens of texts where he rants about how i never say anything positive about the business, i am not happy, I am always worried about something, he is sick and tired of constantly 'being in trouble' with me (I have asked him SO many times what that even means, and that i don't WANT to be a principal and him a 4th grader which is what that sounds like!! that if i get frustrated at something it means i am frustrated at something...why he takes it as 'i am always in trouble' i have no idea and i have no idea how to change that.
Anyways, that situation is what triggered where we are now. Since then it has been nothing but fights every time we interact. I have told him I am so tired of doing every single one of the not-fun-but-has-to-be-done jobs for our home/family/his businesses, and that I would like him to do ANY of that. He just doesn't and says things to me like 'well finding someone to fix my windshield (on HIS car, that has been broken for MONTHS) is going to take a long time b/c i have to find someone and make calls, and i would THINK you would want me focused on building the business since this is going to be our future!!). And I end up doing it. We were in 2 different states b/c he was with my son (in a rental i found, booked, etc) for something (the reason husband was there is b/c all he had to do was sit there and could work as long as he wanted vs at home there is constant driving kids, farm chores, lawn to mow, etc etc etc). One day the internet went out. He literally blew up my phone with texts and calls ranting about how i MUST understand what a big deal this is/the broken internet interrupted calls that sometimes take weeks to schedule/I HAD to understand how significant this was/he needed the internet fixed asap!. When I was able to get back to him i suggested he reach out to the actual airbnb owner whose name and number was likely somewhere in the house, vs reaching out to ME, in a different state, who had never even stepped foot in the house.
OK - i am writing a novel. If anyone is still reading this - thank you. It has just been one thing after another and he feels like he has been very wronged due to my lack of enthusiasm and encouragement, and positivity, and joy and has now issued an ultimatum....I need to fill out this app and list out all of the things i need to work on in our marriage or he 'is DONE'.
I am at my wits end b/c i feel like he has absolutely no idea how I feel in all of this b/c anytime i try to say any of it, he dismisses it and then everything turns to hours of texting diatribe about how he feels about my tone/being 'in trouble' all the time/etc.
Any advice or help would be greatly appreciated. I feel like we are speaking 2 entirely different languages. I replied to his ultimatum by saying i don't feel that is a way to move forward in a marriage and that i found a counselor and would like to meet with her together so we can have a 3rd party help us communicate. But my guess is that he has not, and will not, ever read that email.
Melissa Orlov's Blog
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