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EP 64: 8 Crucial Things My Mom Got Right

Today is my mom’s 87th birthday, and this episode is in her honor. I’m immeasurably blessed to have the mother God gave me, and have learned so much from her over the years. Today I’m sharing 8 crucial things my mom got right, so you can benefit from her good example, too.

Show Notes:VERSES CITED:Proverbs 31:15 – “She rises while yet it is night….” Proverbs 31:17 – “She sets about her work vigorously….” Proverbs 31:25 – “She is clothed with strength and dignity….”Proverbs 31:26 – “She opens her mouth with skillful and godly wisdom….”Proverbs 31:27-31 – “She looks well to how things go in her household….”James 5:16 – “The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.”Ephesians 5:22 – “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.”Ephesians 5:33 – “…and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.”Colossians 3:8 – “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.”John 15:13 – “Greater love has no one than this, that one should lay down his life….” Philippians 2:3-4 – “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but….”1 Peter 4:9 – “Show hospitality to one another without complaining.”Ecclesiastes 12:12 – “…excessive devotion to books is wearying to the body.”Proverbs 9:18 – “Discipline your children while there is hope. Otherwise you will ruin their lives.”Proverbs 3:24 – “He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines….”Hebrews 10:24-25 – “…not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some….”1 Peter 3:15 – “Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to….”Romans 12:15 – “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.”RELATED LINKS: Free Printable Prayer Guides EP 1: How to Find a Good Mentor EP 38: Making the Most of Your Child’s Learning Style Until the Streetlights Come On by Ginny Yurich

8 Things My Mom Did RightCOMPLETE TRANSCRIPT OF EPISODE 64

Hello, Friend. Welcome to Episode 64 of Loving Life at Home. Today – October 21 – is my mother’s 87th birthday. I got to see her over the weekend, but I teach co-op classes all day on Mondays, so I won’t be able to celebrate with her today.

However, she is probably my most faithful listener to this podcast – I know that at least 2 people will tune in to every episode: One is my mother and another is my daughter-in-law Rebekah – so I thought dedicating this episode to Mom would not only be a great way to honor her, but would also allow you to learn and benefit from the wonderful example I’ve been so blessed to observe and enjoy, not just in my childhood years, but throughout my entire life. With every passing year, my appreciation for my mother grows deeper and deeper.

She is the embodiment of Proverbs 31. Verse 15: “She rises while yet it is night,” verse 17: “She sets about her work vigorously,” verse 25: 2 verse 26: “She opens her mouth with skillful and godly wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness,” and verses 27-31 (in the Amplified version):

“She looks well to how things go in her household, and the bread of idleness [discontent, gossip, or self-pity] she will not eat. Her children rise up and call her blessed (happy, prosperous, to be admired); Her husband also, and he praises her, saying, ‘Many daughters have done nobly, virtuously, and well [with the strength of character that is steadfast in goodness], but you excel them all.’ Charm and grace are deceptive, and [superficial] beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD [reverently worshiping, obeying, serving, and trusting Him with awe-filled respect], she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates [of the city].”

My mother did so many things well, it would be impossible to enumerate them all, but I’d like to touch on a handful of really important things she got right and that we, as wives and mothers, would do well to emulate.

First of all, she…

1. Prayed for me faithfully

James 5:16 tells us, “The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.” (KJV) Same true for a righteous woman. NASB says such faithful prayer can “accomplish much.” NIV translates this verse, “The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”

However you shake it, my mother’s faith in God is the bedrock of her life, and she communes with Him through pray and Bible study daily, getting down on her knees – even at 87 – to intercede on my behalf and on behalf of all my children and grandchildren whom she prays for by name. That is powerful! It has been a wonderful example which I’ve striven to emulate. And God has been so faithful to honor those prayers!

If you want to make prayer a more integral part of your life but don’t know where to start, I have a lot of free, printable Bible-based prayer guides to help which I’ll link in today’s show notes, so check them out.

Another thing my mother got right is that she…

2. Honored my father

She honored him just as the Bible commands wives to do:

Ephesians 5:22 – “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.”Ephesians 5:33 – “Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.” Colossians 3:8 – “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.”

My mother took all those commands seriously and lived by them. My father was not perfect, by any stretch of the imagination, but I sure thought he was when I was growing up, because my mother was so faithful to honor and respect him and to cause her children to do the same.

I was what people called a daddy’s girl when I was younger. I thought my dad hung the moon, and my mother was content to let Dad shine untarnished in my estimation – which was really a humble and unselfish thing for her to do.

She could’ve grumbled at him when he was being difficult, or made snide remarks under her breath, or pointed out all the ways he wasn’t perfect to disabuse me of that notion, but she didn’t.

As an adult, I now realize that my sweet daddy did have faults (I know this primarily because I struggle with some of the same tendencies). He was stubborn and hard-headed. He was very creative and did beautiful work but took forever to finish some projects which meant my mother had to make peace with the disordered mess he generated in the meantime. He loved to argue – a love my mother definitely didn’t share (I’d get easily drawn into Dad’s debates when I was younger, but have become much more like Mom as I’ve aged).

The point is, Mom loved and respected Dad in spite of his flaws and compelled me to love and respect him too, which I did wholeheartedly.

And speaking of love, that’s another thing Mom got right. She…

3. Loved me sacrificially

John 15:13 tells us, “Greater love has no one than this, that one should lay down his life for his friends.”

And my mother certainly laid down her life for her family on a daily basis. She daily lived out Philippians 2:3-4:

“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.” She sacrificed sleep when I was sick or had a bad dream or needed her help to meet some deadline.She sacrificed her preference for a perpetually clean and tidy house by letting me paint and sew and craft to my heart’s content.She sacrificed her desire to stay at home with her children when it became necessary for her to go back to work to help make ends meet. She sacrificed the opportunity to advance in her company, because accepting the new position would’ve meant uprooting our family, and she didn’t want to take me and my sister away from the friends and schools and church where we were flourishing at the time.She sacrificed peace and quiet by opening our home to my friends for game nights and study sessions and church fellowships and ice cream socials and caroling parties and pancake breakfasts and more. 1 Peter 4:9 tells us to “Show hospitality to one another without complaining.” And she and dad both modeled that beautifully, and my husband and I have done our best to emulate their example. I loved growing up in the house where people naturally congregated, and I love providing that same kind of welcoming environment for my kids and their friends and families.Even after I was married, Mother continued to make sacrifices, spending what little free time she had babysitting my children whenever we asked, playing board games with us every Friday night, hunting garage sales with me every Saturday morning, hosting my growing family for Sunday dinner every week (and feeding us any other time every time we showed up on her doorstep, which was pretty often while my husband was in school).

The funny thing is, she never acted like any of these things were a sacrifice.

Maybe her love for us was so overpowering, it didn’t feel sacrificial at all. But sometimes now, when I feel bone weary when my teenager needs to talk, or my plans for a quiet evening spent reading a book gets derailed when a group of friends and grandkids descend on the house for a movie night, or somebody spills glitter all over my freshly mopped floors – which, let’s be honest, is still likely to be me – I laugh and marvel at how my mother had the reserves of energy to face similar situations with so much patience and grace.

Another thing my mother got right? She…

4. Read to me

When I was little, I would accost my mom with a stack of picture books almost as tall as I was, and she would read them all to me, no matter how many times she’d read them before….

Ecclesiastes 12:12 says, “the writing of many books is endless, and excessive devotion to books is wearying to the body.” And I’m sure my poor mother would’ve said a hearty AMEN to that on occasion. She used to read until she got so sleepy, she’d start making up words instead of reciting what was actually written on the page, and we’d elbow her and say, “No, no, that’s not how it goes,” and she’d back up and try again.

Now once my sister and I started school, we didn’t read with mom nearly as much. And reading chapter books as a family was not really a part of my childhood like it is for my own children, probably because I attended public school and had a lot of assigned reading to do with those classes, whereas my kids are homeschooled and the read-alouds are a big part of their education. Nevertheless, my mother put me and my sister in good stead by reading to us so much before we ever started kindergarten.

And now that I’m grown, my mother travels a lot with our family and gets to enjoy a lot of the audiobooks we listen to on the road, which has been a lot of fun to get her perspective on lots of those. For instance, when we were listening to several of the Little House books on our way to visit Laura Ingalls Wilder’s homesteads in Missouri and Kansas and South Dakota, we’d stop the book after ever chapter and quiz mom about her childhood and how much it matched up or deviated from Laura’s.

A love of reading was just one aspect of education my mother kindled in me, though. I’ve talked in earlier episodes about how she would teach me everything she knew about anything I wanted to learn, then would find others who were proficient at crocheting or piano or painting or science or sewing or whatever topic had piqued my interest at the time and have them teach or tutor me.

Another thing my mom did well was discipline. She and Dad both…

5. Established clear boundaries

The rules were well-defined and clearly communicated, and they were consistent about following through with consequences when we crossed them. Mom has always claimed that consistency is the hardest part about being a parent, and I think she’s right.

Sometimes, especially when you’re tired or distracted, it is just so tempting to let your child’s poor behavior or disobedience slide. But that is not best for you or for your child. And it sends mixed signals.

For instance, if your child is picking fights with his little brother, and you crack down on that behavior one day, ignore it the next, laugh it off the next, then get mad at the brother being bullied instead of dealing with the one who’s doing the bullying the next, then your kids will have no idea what the real rule is.

If you promise one consequence but never follow through, you are training your child to distrust or disregard everything you say. You’re also teaching him that rules don’t mean anything and that he doesn’t have to listen or respect authority. And that, in turn, is setting him up for a lifetime of trouble.

Proverbs 9:18 reads,

“Discipline your children while there is hope. Otherwise you will ruin their lives” in the NLT. The NIV translates that verse, “Discipline your children, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to their death.”

But thankfully, inconsistency was not a problem for my parents, and when my mother told me to do one thing or not to do another, I knew she meant business and that I would suffer the consequences if I disobeyed.

And – I’ll just say it – one of those clearly defined consequences was a spanking, although my parents never spanked me for honest mistakes or misunderstandings. Nor did they ever take their frustration out on me or spank me in anger.

But for serious offenses, like lying or defying a direct command or intentionally hurting anyone, like when I pulled a chair out from under my sister just to watch her fall on the ground? You better believe I got a spanking for that.

And I am so grateful I did, because it let me know how very seriously my parents took the things that God takes seriously. God commands us not to lie or steal or kill (which is an extreme form of hurting others), He tells children to obey their parents in the LORD. And so it was fitting that these same commands were upheld in my childhood home. I’m glad my parents loved me enough to instill in me a respect for God and for His commands.

You may have heard the old saying, “Spare the rod, spoil the child,” but that is not what the Bible actually says. Proverbs 3:24 reads,

“He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him diligently.”

Disciplining diligently. Consistently. Lovingly. And never in anger or frustration: That’s another thing my mother got right. But she also…

6. Allowed me lots of freedom

When the boundaries are drawn clearly and in such a way as to make them no more onerous than they have to be, it leaves a whole lot of room to explore and experiment and grow and learn. I already mentioned my mother’s willingness to let me learn all sorts of artistic skills and handcrafts, but she and Dad also gave me a lot of liberty in my free time.

Ginny Yurich has a book out called Until the Streetlights Come On – and that was definitely the rule for me growing up. I was allowed to spend hours alone at the park down the street, playing on the playground, exploring the creek bed, catching frogs and tadpoles, building forts, climbing trees, and the like.

Of course, that was a different era, and my little corner of the world was much safer then than it is now. You may have to get creative to give your young explorer similar independent and formative experiences to the ones my parents gave me, but it is well worth the effort. And that’s the beauty of raising well-disciplined children who have a clear understanding of right and wrong: They can be trusted to behave properly, even when you aren’t hovering over their shoulder.

And that trust? That’s another thing my Mom got right. (I keep saying Mom, because it’s her birthday and my Dad’s been gone for 18 years now, but he got all these things right, too.)

But when, as a child, you understand your parents are allowing you to do things and go places that maybe none of your peers are getting to do, because they trust you to behave – that’s a confidence you don’t want to break or abuse or take for granted.

As an aside, though, there were some things I didn’t get to do, not because my parents didn’t trust me but because the other people involved had not yet earned their trust. I don’t want to imply that they threw caution to the wind and let me and my sister do whatever we pleased. They didn’t. But they did try to find ways to say “yes” as often as they could or – if what I was asking to do was outside their comfort zone – they’d try to come up with a compromise that accomplished both my goal to do whatever the thing in question was, and their goal to keep me safe in the doing.

7. Took me to church

Again, my dad was there every time the door opened, too, but I appreciate the fact that it was never a question about what our family would be doing on Sunday morning. It didn’t matter how late we stayed up on Saturday night, there was never a week that we slept in on Sunday morning.

Hebrews 10:24-25 commands,

“Let us consider how to encourage one another in love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near.”

My mother has always lived out that verse, too.

As an interesting aside, earlier this month, I attended a reunion in honor of a man named David Drake who served as our church’s youth minister when I was in high school. He and his wife Marilyn were celebrating their 50th anniversary, and they drove back to Dallas to meet with about 15 of us who were in that youth group back in the late 1970s/early 1980s. Like most of those young people, I hadn’t seen this beloved youth pastor in over 40 years, but I’m so grateful for his impact on my life. Back in those formative years, David really drilled home the importance of staying in the book, staying on our knees, and staying after souls – and most of the activities we did as a youth group were aimed at one of those three goals: we had lots of Bible studies and prayer meetings and mission trips.

It is worth noting that my mother modeled those same priorities of Bible study, prayer, and evangelism. She has always been ready and “prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks [her] to give the reason for the hope that [she has]… with gentleness and respect.”

Of course, it’s sometimes good for kids to hear those kinds of messages from somebody else, too. And I’m grateful God put David and Marilyn in my life to reiterate the lessons I was learning at home. But I wouldn’t have been there to hear it at all if my mother hadn’t been so faithful to ensure my regular church attendance.

I could go on and on with this list of things my mother did right, but her birthday’s going to be over if I don’t wrap this episode up and get it posted, so I’ll end with this:

My mom did a great job when she…

8. Empathized with me

She knows how to “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn,” as Romans 12:15 tells us to do.

Whenever I was excited about something, my mother’s eyes sparkled too. Whenever I was sad, I could see tears in her eyes, as well. I remember once in grade school being absolutely distraught over my lack of non-fickle friends. As I dissolved into tears at the kitchen table, I could hear the lump in my mother’s throat as she said resolutely, “Well, we can do something about that.”

She then took me by the hand and spent the afternoon going from one house in our neighborhood to the next looking for a little girl my age who would play with me. Looking back on this incident now as an adult, I realize she probably didn’t go to every house. More likely than not, she’d seen children playing at the homes we visited and just kept checking that handful until we found somebody at home.

But at the time, I was just so thrilled and impressed that my mom would go to such great lengths to meet a perceived need in my life.

I know going door-to-door in pursuit of a friend may sound a little pathetic to some people, but do you know what? Her doing so led to the discovery of one of the very best and dearest friends I’ve ever had.

I don’t mean the timid little age mate who consented to come outside and skip rope or ride bikes with me that afternoon. I don’t even remember that girl’s name – I’m thinking it was Darla, but can’t say for certain.

No, the friend I’m referring to is the one who was holding my hand during the house-to-house search. I didn’t fully appreciate it at the time, but that woman has my back and has been a true friend to me through thick and thin. She’s constant. She’s loyal. She’s encouraging. She loves Jesus and believes the Bible, reads, memorizes, and applies it to her live. She’s smart and witty and fun to be around. You couldn’t hope for a better example or a wiser counselor. I know she’s listening, so Happy Birthday, Mother. I love you more than words can express!

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Published on October 21, 2024 20:02

EP 63: Say Hello to Stress-Free Holidays

Thanksgiving and Christmas are just around the corner. Does getting ready for the holidays feel burdensome or overwhelming to you? In Episode 63 of Loving Life at Home, we’re discussing strategies to steer clear of stress, side-step the hustle-bustle, and enjoy a merry, meaningful, and blissfully peaceful advent season.

Show NotesRELATED VERSES:Philippians 4:6 – “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”Romans 14:5 – “One person regards one day above another, another regards every day alike. Each person must be fully convinced in his own mind.”Proverbs 6:6-8 – “Walk in the manner of the ant, O slacker; observe its ways and become wise. Without a commander, without an overseer or ruler, it prepares its provisions in summer; it gathers its food at harvest.”LINKS MENTIONED:Episode 2: tips for getting along with difficult or demanding family members 6 Steps to a Stress-Free Holiday Season – source material for this podcastOur Family Christmas Letters – our past updates plus tips for creating your ownOur Christmas Card Assembly Line – one of my families all-time favorite traditionsSimple Bucket List – poll your family on the top few things they don’t want to missFun Christmas Countdowns – includes Christmas books we traditionally read50 Things to Do This Christmas – we just pick and choose from this listRakuten – a FREE cashback program which has saved me a bundle over the yearsInstalling Rakuten Browser Button – automatically alerts when cashback is availableShifting Christmas Focus – my answer to the mom whose kids were driving her crazyLarge Family Gift-Giving – a more detailed answer to one mama’s inquiry on this topicSuper Stocking Stuffers – small gifts we’ve put in our kids’ stockings over the yearsTurning Trash into Treasure – some of the recycled art projects our kids have enjoyedElfster – a free, handy gift exchange appThinking of Others at Christmas – ways to be a blessing to others at ChristmasTaming the Toy Box – my list of most worthwhile toys and how to keep them organizedAge-Appropriate Chore Chart – a good start for incorporating your children’s helpSTAY CONNECTED:Subscribe: Flanders Family Freebies -(weekly themed link lists of free resources)Instagram: follow @flanders_family for more great contentFamily Blog: Flanders Family Home Life (parenting & homeschool tips, free printables) Marriage Blog: Loving Life at Home (encouragement for wives, mothers, believers)

Simple Steps to a Stress-Free Christmas

I’ve heard from lots moms over the years with questions about how our family handles different aspects of Christmas – including gift giving, letter writing, meal planning, memory making, Santa explaining, and lots of other things that seem to vie for our attention – and also often add to our stress — during the month of December and even before.

Most recently – just about a week ago, in fact, I received a message from a mom who has a sizable family, just like I do. It reads:

Dear Jennifer,

Christmas has become very stressful for me to the extent that I can’t really enjoy & celebrate the WHY! Do you have any suggestions [that might help]?

Well, I’m happy to tell you about all the things that have helped make the Christmas season less stressful FOR ME. But before I share any of those tips, we need to acknowledge the fact that every one of us is different. The things that tend to stress me out may not bother you at all, and vice versa.

And it’s okay to acknowledge that fact!

So if you really want to make the upcoming holiday season more relaxing – and less stressful – then you’ve got to identify what exactly is causing YOUR stress in the first place.

Usually, holiday stress arises from one or more of the following broad categories:

1 – Time Stressors: Overpacked schedules

Far too often, December flies by like a whirlwind, and we come to the end of it exhausted, over-spent, and feeling like we’ve failed to make meaningful connections with family in friends in our rush to pack as many memories as possible into four short weeks.

Problem is, something that excites and energizes one person may completely overwhelm someone else and make them miserable.

Some folks seem to thrive on all the hustle-bustle of the holidays, while it makes others want to retreat into their shell and hide out until January. And more often than not, you have both extremes represented in one family – maybe even in one marriage.

So we’ll talk about how to navigate those differences, preserve some white space, save your sanity, and create holiday traditions that serve everyone in the family.

2 – Money Stressors: Limited Finances

Financial strain can make the holidays challenging, but just as necessity is the mother of invention, a tight budget can spawn all sorts of wonderful creativity.

And it’s a good thing that’s true– especially in our present economy, when it’s hard enough keeping food on the table or staying on top of bills. If you attempt to throw a bundle of store bought Christmas gifts for everyone and their brother into the mix, it may really feel like squeezing blood out of a turnip.

So I’ll share some ideas for scaling back, plus some surprising benefits from doing so.

3 – Relationship Stressors: Difficult/Demanding People

I dedicated an entire podcast to tips for getting along with difficult or demanding family members, so I’ll link that episode in the show notes instead of rehashing it here. And the last broad category is

4 – Comparison Stressors: Unrealistic Expectations

This is the stress and anxiety that comes from having unrealistic expectations, and we’ll talk about the source of these expectations and how to bring them back into line for everyone involved.

SO… once you identify the sources of your stress, you can come up with a game plan for defusing the stress and shifting your focus back to the real reason for the season – the blessed Savior whose birth we are supposed to be celebrating.

Six Steps to a Stress-Free HolidayComplete transcript of episode 63

Don’t allow endless “to do” lists to steal your joy this holiday season. Don’t let all the commercialism eclipse the real meaning of Christmas. Even amid all the hustle-bustle and hype, you can find a little peace and tranquillity if you know where to look.

Here are the strategies I use to ward off the holiday rush and maintain my sanity during the weeks leading up to THANKSGIVING AND Christmas:

>>PLAN AHEAD

FIRST, when it comes to dealing with time stressors my best bit of advice is to plan ahead.

I’ve always been bad about procrastinating. I think I’ve shared before that when I was in high school, I’d often wait to start writing my term paper until the night before it was due. Which was really not smart.

I may have also mentioned that I sewed my own wedding dress. But what I neglected to tell you is that it was held together by straight pins in my bridal portraits, and I didn’t finish stitching the largest piece of lace onto the front of my gown until just a few hours before I wore it down the aisle.

And I cannot even begin to count the number of all nighters I’ve pulled over the years on Christmas eve as I’ve stayed awake trying to finish handcrafted gifts or wrap presents or complete last-minute shopping before the family gathered around the tree on Christmas morning.

But all that changed the year my oldest daughter was born. She was due in September, and since I already had one baby, I knew my time would not be my own…

The point is, a little advanced planning can do wonders for your mindset. The more you can accomplish before the holidays hit, the more you can relax and enjoy them once they arrive.

Don’t worry. You don’t have to start stockpiling gifts in January or have a full freezer by fall to benefit from this step. As of today, Christmas is just 10 weeks away. So pull out your calendar and make note of any commitments you have during that time period and make a short list of the tasks you’ll need to complete, then think through what each commitment will require and make additional notes about what will need to be done when for it all to go smoothly.

For instance, we have a lot of family coming to spend Thanksgiving with us this year. I don’t know if we’ll do it this year, but In years past, we’ve all run a 5K Turkey Trot on Thankgiving morning. Which means I had to have tables set and most of the cooking done in advance if I wanted to run too and still have dinner ready by noon.

Also, several of our kids have requested that we stuff Christmas letters together while they’re home for Thanksgiving. And for that to happen, I’ll have to finish writing the letter by mid-November, make copies, order cards, and buy stamps and envelopes so that we can set up our assembly line on the Friday after Thanksgiving and finish the job before the out-of-towners have to drive back to their respective homes that weekend.

You’ll also want to PLAN AHEAD if you’ve taken on responsibility for holiday events in your community. I have friends who help with a local production of the Nutcracker every December – and they’ve been doing that for YEARS — so the first part of the month is completely taken over by their involvement in that ballet performance. Or maybe you’re hosting a Christmas party for your husband’s coworkers or a moms prayer group or your child’s kindergarten class. Don’t wait for the last minute. Do as much of the prep work as you can well in advance: make the guest list, order the invitations, plan the menu, print out the party games, buy the favors now, and you’ll have that much less to do then when so many other things are vying for your attention.

>> PRESERVE MARGIN

In addition to planning ahead, I recommend you take whatever steps are necessary to preserve margin throughout the holidays.

I’ve had to accept the fact that I can’t do everything. I’ll run myself ragged (and, even more importantly, I’ll my family ragged) if I try. So instead of attempting to squeeze some sort of holiday activity into every waking moment, I eliminate stress by intentionally leaving a little white space on our calendar. I really do this all year long, but I’ve found it’s especially important to preserve some margin during the holiday season.

Those empty squares on my calendar represent the quiet evenings we’ll spend at home reading in front of a crackling fire or working a puzzle around the kitchen table or listening to Christmas music while we decorate the tree or watching It’s a Wonderful Life or some other of our favorite holiday video for the umpteenth time.

>> PICK AND CHOOSE

Another good way to deal with those time stressors is to pick and choose.

Note that it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. If you’re the person who wants to print a bucket list of Christmas activities as long as your arm and tick one or two things off every day all season long, have at it. But if you’re married to a homebody, you’d better makes sure a lot of those activities can be enjoyed within the walls of your own house. Lots of our favorite traditions fall into the category of things we can do without leaving home: decorating the Christmas tree, making hot cocoa, listening to Christmas carols, watching Christmas movies, making Christmas candy, handcrafting ornaments.

Some of these things may sound fun to you too and some may not. That’s okay. You don’t have to enjoy all the same things my family enjoys.

The important thing is that you spend the holidays doing the things that are most meaningful to you and your family. Don’t feel pressured to do anything just because somebody else – or even everybody else — is doing it.

If having a bucket list stresses you out, then skip it. Or gather your kids together and take a poll to find out which traditions, old or new, they’d like to observe and which they’re willing to let go.

We did this several years ago and generated a master list, which we print it off every year and check off various activities as time allows. We don’t try to do them all, just the ones that sound good to us at the time and fit our schedules. There is a printable version of our list (which I’ll link in the show notes if you want to take a peek at it), but I’d encourage you to make your own. Some of the things we do will not appeal to you, and vice versa.

In fact, some of the things our family has traditionally done that were both time consuming and expensive – like going to Holiday in the Park at Six Flags – ranked rather low on most of our children’s lists. And many of the traditions that don’t cost a cent – like rewatching favorite holiday movies together as a family or re-reading all our old Christmas letters or driving around the neighborhood to look at Christmas lights– topped the charts for nearly everyone.

That doesn’t mean we never go to Six Flags. Fiesta Texas runs a great special through Groupon or the Book of Free where I can buy tickets in batches of six to eight for well under $100, and so we’ve taken advantage of that offer several times in the past 6-7 years. But if I miss the promotion or we can’t fit it into the schedule, I don’t worry about it too much, as doing so is not essential to having a wonderful Christmas in any of our minds.

>> BUY LESS

As for dealing with tight finances, one solution is to buy less.

If you’ve ever read Laura Ingall’s Wilder’s accounts of Christmas in the Big Woods or on the prairie, or of the Christmases of her husband’s childhood, you know kids don’t need all the latest and greatest popular plastic toys or electronic gadgets to be happy and content. Laura and Almanzo were thrilled with finding an orange and a peppermint stick – or maybe a pocket knife — in their stocking on Christmas morning.

People assume Christmas must be crazy at our house with so many children, because they take whatever they’re doing with one or two kids and multiply it by a factor of 6-12. But that really isn’t the case.

It’s amazing how little pressure you feel to overspend when you aren’t exposed to all the malls and television commercials. I avoid getting out on Black Friday like the plague, preferring instead to shop online in the privacy of my own home. And by using Rakuten, I earn cash back on every purchase, plus it’s all delivered straight to my door.

As a result, our family really celebrates a pretty low-key Christmas when it comes to gifts. That was a necessity in the beginning, because my husband was still in school and we were living on such a shoestring budget. But my kids are used to getting just a stocking plus one gift, and I don’t think I’d change that custom even if we had all the money in the world.

The financial strain of overspending at Christmas time is only part of the problem. There’s also the stress of figuring out where to put all those gifts for all those people once they’ve been received.

Which is why I really favor consumable gifts – like edible treats or art supplies — or experiences – like special trips or museum memberships.

I’ve gotten lots of letters over the years asking for specifics on how we handle gift giving with so many children. One mom wrote:

Dear Jennifer:

My kids are driving me crazy with their endless lists of stuff they want for Christmas. I love the holidays, but I hate the commercialism with its selfish focus on me, me, me. And with the economy like it is, I really can’t afford to indulge them this year, anyway. Help!

I’ll link my full reply in the show notes, but the gist of what I said was this: When our kids were little, I gave each of them a stocking filled with small gifts chosen especially for that child, then I bought one family gift for everybody to share (maybe a new game to play together or a book to read aloud. One year, I bought a slackline, strung it between two trees and promised $10 to the first child who learned to walk across the entire thing without falling).

I’ll admit, that single family gift looked a little lonesome under the tree by itself, so I began wrapping the Christmas picture books we already owned to put under the tree as well, then we’d open one book each day and read it together as a family.

WHY THIS WORKS FOR US:

Several things about our family allow these practices to work well (and make them somewhat necessary):

1 – We don’t see many commercials.

We haven’t had television reception for over twenty years, which means our kids haven’t been constantly bombarded with ads trying to convince them they need the latest and greatest offerings on the toy aisle of the nearest Target or Walmart. That fact alone does wonders for a child’s contentment. We also toss most of the catalogs and circulars that come in the mail before the kids ever see them. The older ones will sometimes spot something they’d like online now, but they also have ways of earning money and usually just save up to buy it themselves.

That’s why, when one of our kids was only five or six, his “special request” for Christmas time was “a paper airplane with a picture of a dog drawn on it.” I thought that was so sweet, I’m pretty sure I constructed one for him then and there instead of making him wait for Christmas for it.

2 – We replace things as needed.

Part of the reason there were so many gifts around my tree as a child is that my mom was a very savvy shopper and would squirrel things away for Christmas all year long. As Christmas drew near, she’d also take note of any items that my sister and I had worn out or outgrown — socks, underwear, hairbrushes, blue jeans — and wrap up the replacements for us to open Christmas morning, as well.

I loved that and fully intended to do the same thing with my children, only my husband would beat me to the punch every time. When Christmas rolls around, there is seldom anything that needs replacing or updating, because that gets done just as soon as he notices the need.

Same goes for sporting goods and technology and bicycles. Doug is an early adopter, and every day with him is like a holiday. There’s no outdoing that fact at Christmas, so I’ve given up even trying.

3 – Our kids are really creative.

Do you know what happens when kids don’t have a lot of toys and stuff crowding for their attention? They learn to make their own fun.

Most of our children are masters at this, and the fun they find usually doesn’t cost a cent: they’ll rake the leaves into intricate designs then play tag through the maze; they’ll hike through the woods and bring home long poles of of freshly cut bamboo which they’ll use to build a teepee to sleep in; they’ll make amazing works of art out of toilet paper rolls, tin cans, or egg cartons that they rescue from the trash (then enter their creations in the fair and win cash premiums for them)! And they’re still doing that. I’ve had a stash of trash – empty plastic bottles and cardboard – on my back porch for weeks right now that my 21-year old Chemical engineering student has been turning into bottle rockets for a class project he was working on. He had me proofread his final presentation last night, so I hope that means the mess is about to be cleared away.

I know a single gift and a stocking may seem like a scant Christmas celebration to a lot of folks, but it works well for our family. It helps keep our focus OFF what we we’re going to get, and places it more ON what we can do. Not just on Christmas morning, but all month long through service projects, letter writing, bell ringing, carol singing, and all sorts of other memory making.

Once our kids started getting older and wanted to participate in the gift giving, we began drawing names for a “Secret Santa” gift exchange – at their request, because purchasing gifts for so many was a bit overwhelming for them, too, so now, each person gets one gift from a sibling. They’ve even included Mom & Dad in the exchange, and using the free Elfster app makes things super easy for all of us.

But we also started to brainstorm ways our family could be a blessing to others during the Christmas season. You can do the same by making a list of service projects or acts of random kindness and refer to it year after year. You may not always get to every item on the list, but the process of trying will help change your family’s focus from the gifts under the tree to the people around it.

If limited finances are contributing to the holiday stress you feel, Communicate with your family in well in advance that you’ll need to scale back this year, whatever scaling back looks like for you. If you normally buy 10 gifts for each child, cut that number in half. Or do as some of my friends do and give four gifts: Something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read. That times 12 would still make my head spin, so I’m going to stick to my single gift and a stocking — but I know that poem works well for lots of families.

Maybe money isn’t an issue for you at all, but space is. Does trying to find a home for new gifts stress anybody else out? Or is that just me? Maybe it’s more manageable for a family with fewer children, but with 12 kids, it can be overwhelming. If you are already busting at the seams, you may want to scale back for that reason.

Especially considering the fact that all the best toys don’t wear out: Lincoln logs, building blocks, Duplo, wooden train sets. As I’ve mentioned before, the same tubs of these classic toys that entertained by first few kids served all their siblings just as well and are now delighting my grandchildren. Once you’re stocked up, you’re set, and there isn’t a real need to buy more every year for three decades of child rearing.

>> ENLIST HELP

If all the kids are still at home, assign chores for cleaning or decorating the house and preparing meals or getting ready for company. I have a free printable Age-Appropriate Chore Chart I’ll link in today’s show notes.

If your kids are grown and gone and just coming to visit over the holidays, let them know what you’ll be serving and them to bring sides, salads or desserts to accompany the meal.

Everybody contributes. Everybody eats. Everybody cleans up, like the little red hen. Mom shouldn’t slave away in the kitchen all day while the rest of the family relaxes in the living room. Don’t stand at the kitchen and stew over the status quo. If nobody volunteers to help, Ask for it. And if they do volunteer, don’t shoo them away, but accept that kind gesture and give them a job to do.

And that brings us to that last stressor, which is caused by unrealistic expectations. Sometimes these come from without: Extended family that expects you to spend every holiday with them, and so Thanksgiving or Christmas becomes a huge chore of rushing from house to house to house trying to keep everyone happy.

Sometimes, the pressure comes from within: You’ve envisioned the perfect magical Christmas, fueled by all the lovely images you’ve seen on Pinterest or Instagram, and you feel like a failure when your own family’s Christmas doesn’t measure up.

In both these cases, don’t be afraid to reject the Christmas traditions that you find burdensome and adopt some that help you focus on the real reason for the season.

If you don’t like turkey or have never learned to cook it properly, you don’t have to serve it for Thanksgiving or Christmas. I’ve been known to serve lasagna or fajitas with all the trimmings for Thanksgiving instead. Even if you do decide to serve the traditional meal, think through your sides. If nobody in your family likes sweet potatoes or green bean casserole, then don’t bother. Or assign those dishes to somebody who cares. I’ve never been a huge fan of cranberry sauce (at least not the canned jelly stuff that was always part of the feast we had at my grandma’s house, but one of my daughters loves cranberries and makes an absolutely delicious sauce from scratch every year.

Same goes for making the rounds during the holidays. If you dream of being able to enjoy a leisurely Christmas at home and avoid holiday traffic, then make arrangements to see family members a few weeks before Christmas, or alternate between families: Spend Thanksgiving with one side of the family and Christmas with the other one year, then flip it the next.

When I was growing up, we celebrated Christmas at home on Christmas Eve morning, then would drive to Oklahoma that afternoon and celebrate Christmas again with my dad’s family the very next day. For years, I never knew the difference.

Now that several of my children are grown and married, we are trying to navigate holidays with them. And I’m trying to keep my expectations low. If the kids want to spend Christmas at our house, I’m obviously thrilled. But I also know my daughters-in-law come from smaller families where their absence would doubtlessly leave a more noticeable hole. So we’ve tried to be very accommodating and not get hurt feelings, even if they choose to spend every Christmas at the in-law’s house. I wouldn’t want them to knock themselves out trying to drive back and forth on the 25th. Maybe because I grew up having a wonderful celebration with my family the day before Christmas, or because I married a physician that sometimes has to take call on December 25th, but celebrating on the exact day is not really that important to me to make a stink if it doesn’t happen. We do our best to see all our children in the weeks leading up to Christmas and to celebrate early with the ones who won’t be able to make it home for the holidays, and that’s worked well for us.

As for internal pressures and high expectations of how Christmas should go, I’d urge you to leave off comparing your situation to anybody else’s. Don’t feel like you have to jump on the bandwagon of every trend you spot on social media.

I love seeing photos of families in matching Christmas pajamas. I think those are adorable. But that wasn’t a trend, and we probably couldn’t have afforded it anyway, back when my kids were all little and still wore pajamas. And now, most of my guys don’t sleep in pjs anyway – I know for sure my husband wouldn’t wear them in a million years – so I probably missed the opportunity to ever have such a photo. But that’s okay. Maybe this year, I’ll just get matching flannels for me and my youngest daughter. She’d probably like that.

My point is, if it causes you to stumble into grief or envy or worry that you somehow don’t measure up to look at photos of other people wearing matching pajamas when you, for whatever reason, can’t – then stay off Pinterest and Instagram.

If seeing their beautifully decorated homes or watching the handcrafted ornament tutorials inspires you, great. Watch in moderation and use that inspiration as a jumping off place to be more creative in your own home. But if seeing those photos and reels makes you feel resentful or inadequate, then delete that app from your phone and spare yourself the grief.

Again, we are all different. I love to decorate the house for Christmas. In fact, I left one tree up in my bedroom all year long and just switched out ornaments for every new season –ornaments my youngest daughter and I worked on handcrafting together all year long. It was a fun and creative outlet.

But one of my daughters in law confessed to me a couple of weeks ago that it totally stresses her out to even thing about decorating the house for Christmas. And I can understand why. She has four little children. When I had four little children, my Christmas décor was minimal, as well. We had only one Christmas tree and had to be careful to put only non-breakable decorations on the lower half of that to make sure the babies didn’t destroy any heirloom ornaments.

It wasn’t worth the hassle to do much more than that. There is a season for everything under heaven, and the season of small children and the season of elaborate Christmas décor are rarely one in the same.

Which brings me to my last tip:

>> BE FLEXIBLE

Even when you scale back and plan ahead and preserve margin and invest only in those holiday activities that are most meaningful to your family, life will sometimes throw you a curve. Like the year we got chicken pox at Thanksgiving and had to be quarantined until New Year’s. Another Christmas, it was a stomach virus that took us out of commission. And one winter an ice storm knocked out our electricity for three days.

You can’t let stuff like that derail you or dampen your joy. None of those things were much fun at the time, but they were certainly memorable. We made adjustments and still had wonderful, Christ-focused celebrations. Though we had to miss many of our traditional activities those years, we just appreciated them all the more the next Christmas when things were a little more “normal.” Attitude makes all the difference. Here’s hoping and praying these tips will help keep your attitude well-adjusted and any anxiety at bay during the upcoming holiday season. Do what you can NOW to take more off your plate THEN.

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Published on October 17, 2024 07:20

A Prayer for Bible Readers

Readers who’ve followed me for any length of time know I’m a firm believer in the power of prayer. I love to pray specifically, and I love to to pray the scriptures, as doing so is an easy way to know I am praying in accordance to the perfect will of God.

Sometimes I get requests for particular topics for my prayer guides, and I honor those requests whenever I can. The suggestion for today’s prayer guide came from a reader named Annie who asked me to create a prayer to use when studying the Bible.

I was happy to comply, as I think we are much more prone to get what we need out of Bible reading when we approach it with a teachable spirit and with a mindset of prayerful humility. So here’s the prayer I came up with:

A Prayer for Bible Readers

LORD, as I prayerfully open Your inspired, inerrant, infallible Word, I humbly ask that You would graciously grant me a…

Burning desire to read it consistently

Jesus, You said man should not live by bread alone, but by every Word that comes from the mouth of God. I ask You to instill in me a love for that Word. Help me to read it, memorize it, and meditate upon it day and night. (Matthew 4:4; Psalm 119:11, 97; Psalm 1:2)

Insight to understand what it means

LORD, I pray for wisdom, which You’ve promised to give generously to all who ask for it. “Open my eyes, that I may see wonderful things from Thy law.” Grant me more insight than all my teachers as I dwell on Your testimonies. (James 1:5; Proverbs 2:6; Psalm 119:18, 99)

Belief that it is absolutely true

God, help me to hold fast to the confession of my hope without wavering, for You are trust- worthy and faithful. May I proclaim with conviction, “The entirety of Your word is truth, and all Your righteous judgments endure forever.” (Hebrews 10:23; Psalm 119:7-8, 160)

Lasting commitment to live by it

LORD, let me be like the wise man who hears Your Word and obeys it. May the foundation of my life be the solid Rock, not shifting sand. Make me a faithful doer of Your Word, not a deluded hearer who fails to put into practice all I learn. (Matthew 7:24-27; James 1:22)

Enthusiasm for sharing it with others

God, help me be ever ready to give a reason for the hope that lies within me. May I shine as a light in the darkness, boldly proclaiming the gospel to the lost and offering words of encouragement to fellow believers. (1 Peter 3:15; Matthew 5:14; 2 Timothy 1:7-8; Hebrews 10:25)

click to print this prayer for Bible readersMore Printable Prayer Guides

You will find many more prayer guides you can download individually for free by following this link: Free Printable Prayer Guides.

Or you can save time by investing in a copy of my Pretty Prayer Print Pack and then download a whole bundle of resources in a single click, including all our most popular prayer guides plus prayer lists and diaries, prayer-themed coloring pages, prayer cards, and beautiful printable artwork suitable for framing. Several of the resources in this collection are not available anywhere else.

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Published on October 02, 2024 13:01

EP 62: I Am NOT Enough (and Neither Are You)

I am NOT enough... and why it's liberating to admit it

Despite the fact the world proclaims with one loud voice, “You are enough!” that has never been the way it has played out in my life. And do you know what? It’s liberating to admit that fact.

I want to refute that all-too-popular idea on today’s podcast – the idea that we are enough in and of ourselves, or that everything we need can be found by searching within our own heart and mind, or that we are somehow perfect just the way we are.

This affirmation has been making the rounds for some time now. I published a blog post on the topic way back in February of 2017. You can read that original post in it’s entirety below today’s show notes if you’re interested; most of my comments in this podcast episode will be taken straight from what I wrote in that article nearly eight years ago.

I was reminded of my post over the weekend while attending Allie Beth Stuckey’s Share the Arrows Event in Plano. It was awesome! If you happened to see my stories on Instagram, you already know there were 4000 women in attendance. And we heard a great lineup of speakers, including Rosaria Butterfield, Alisa Childers, and my dear friend Abbie Halberstadt, most of whom talked about things they’ve written about extensively. I’ll link their books in today’s show notes. I enjoyed them all and highly recommend you read them, too.

Allie Beth published a book in 2020 dealing with this same lie called You’re Not Enough (and That’s Okay): Escaping the Toxic Culture of Self-Love. I noticed this morning that Amazon has it on sale for 48% off right now—that may be an even better price than was available at the conference – so click through and snag a copy if you’re interested in delving deeper. It’s a great read and very timely for the culture we live in.

Show NotesVERSES CITED:John 10:10 – “The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy; I have come that….”Romans 3:23 – “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”2 Cor. 12:9 – “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.”Philippians 4:13 – “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”1 Corinthians 1:25 – “For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom….”James 1:5 – “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives to all….”2 Corinthians 5:21 – “God made Him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him….”Ephesians 1:7-8 – “In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness….”Romans 8:29 – “For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be….”James 1:4 – “Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and….”Revelation 5:12 – “Worthy is the Lamb, who was slain, to receive… glory & praise!”Ephesians 2:4-5 – “We were by nature deserving of wrath. But because of His …”2 Corinthians 3:5 – “Not that we are adequate in ourselves so as to consider….”Ephesians 2:8-9 – “For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not….”Romans 9:16 – “So then it depends not on human will or exertion, but on God, who….”Philippians 2:13 – “… it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His….”Philippians 1:6 – “…he who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it….”Romans 6:13 – “…offer yourselves to God as those who have been brought from….”1 John 1 8-9 – “…If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us ….”RELATED LINKS:I Am Not Enough (& Why It’s Liberating to Admit It) – blog post I wrote in 2017Confession of an Unlikely Convert – Rosaria Butterfield’s personal testimony (2014)The Gospel Comes with a House Key – another great book by Rosaria Butterfield (2018)Another Gospel? – must-read book by Alisa Childers (2020)Live Your Truth – another wonderful book by Alisa Childers (2022)M is for Mama – such an encouraging read from my friend Abbie Halberstadt (2022)Hard is Not the Same Thing as Bad – an even better book by Abbie (2023)You Are Not Enough (& That’s Okay) – a very timely book by Allie Beth Stuckey (2020)I am NOT enough — and why it’s liberating to admit it

Do you know that feeling you get when you hear fingernails grating on a chalkboard? I guess most modern classrooms have switched to dry erase boards, so maybe you’ve missed it. It’s sort of a squeaky, screechy, scraping sound that really sets your nerves on edge. Back when I was in school, there was always one little boy in my homeroom who would routinely claw the board just to see his classmates wince.

Anyway, I’ve been getting that same feeling a lot lately, but not from blackboards. The thing that’s making me cringe these days is a catchphrase gaining traction in Christian and secular circles alike. It’s touted at women’s conferences. It’s promoted on blog posts. It’s plastered on car bumpers. It’s chanted during religious rituals. It’s engraved on stone pendants, silver charms, and golden rings. It’s tattooed across countless shoulders, arms, wrists, and ankles. And the trend shows no signs of letting up.

I’m referring, of course, to the affirmation, “I AM ENOUGH.”

Granted, the purveyors of this mantra are often well-intentioned. Perhaps they’re using “I am enough” as a reminder that we shouldn’t be constantly comparing ourselves to others or coveting things we don’t have or trying to keep up with the Joneses. And those are valid and important messages.

But the words we use to convey such messages are also important, and “I am enough” leaves way too much room for misunderstanding. It neither resonates with reality nor lines up with Biblical truth. That’s why so many groups have been able to appropriate the slogan and use it to support widely disparate worldviews:

Atheists argue: “I am enough. I don’t need God.”Relativists reason: “I am enough. I don’t need rules.”Feminists fume: “I am enough. I don’t need men.”Loners lament: “I am enough. I don’t need friends.”

And folks who’ve grown complacent and lazy about life contend: “I am enough. I don’t need to work toward bettering myself in any way. This is who I am. Take it or leave it.”

As I mentioned before, the problem is that all these assertions are not only unbiblical, but they’re completely out of touch with reality. That’s why it’s so liberating to confess, “I’m NOT enough. I’m not even close.”

Jesus came that we might “have life, and have it more abundantly” (John 10:10), but we will completely miss out on the bountiful life He offers if we never look beyond our own thoughts, feelings, and extremely limited resources. The first step to overcoming any problem is to admit you have one, and the first step to living a full, satisfying, deeply meaningful life is to reject the notion that you can do it completely on your own.

In reality, we are all born with something missing. And trying to fill the void with positive affirmations doesn’t really work. No matter how often I tell myself, “I am enough,” in my heart of hearts, I know it’s a lie. The simple truth is, I’m NOT enough. I fall far short of the mark, and I freely admit it. (Romans 3:23) I’m not strong enough or smart enough or pure enough or mature enough or anything enough to make it through life without a lot of help.

I’m not enough — but, praise God, I don’t have to be.
I’m not strong enough… but God is, and He has promised to give me strength.

“But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” – Philippians 4:13

I’m not smart enough… but God is, and He has promised to give me wisdom.

“For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength.” – 1 Corinthians 1:25

“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” – James 1:5

I’m not pure enough… but Christ is, and He has paid the price for my sin.

“God made Him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.” – 2 Corinthians 5:21

“In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that He lavished upon us.” – Ephesians 1:7-8

I’m not mature enough… but God is conforming me to the image of Christ.

“For those God foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.” – Romans 8:29

“Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” – James 1:4

I’m not worthy enough… but God is, and He loves me despite my unworthiness.

“Worthy is the Lamb, who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and praise!” – Revelation 5:12

“We were by nature deserving of wrath. But because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions — it is by grace you have been saved.” – Ephesians 2:4-5

Did you catch that last phrase? “It is by grace you have been saved.” It is not because of something we are — we could never BE enough. (2 Corinthians 3:5) It is not because of something we’ve done — we could never DO enough. (Ephesians 2:8-9)

Human will and desire and effort and exertion are not enough (Romans 9:16) — salvation and the abundant life that accompanies it are the work of God, from start to finish. (Philippians 2:13) And He can be trusted to see that work through to the end. (Philippians 1:6) I can cooperate with Him in that work, but I can’t do it on my own — any more than a dead man can bring himself back to life. (Romans 6:13)

So if you’ve been telling yourself, “I am enough” but not feeling it, you can leave off pretending right now. Break out of the prison of supposed self-sufficiency and turn your life over to Christ.

You are NOT enough, but God never expected you to be. He stands ready and willing to give you the significant, soul-satisfying life you crave, if only you will recognize your need and ask Him for it. (1 John 1:8-9)

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Published on September 30, 2024 04:00

I Am NOT Enough (and Neither Are You)