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EP 76: After Valentine’s Day… A Plea for Perseverance

We’re just coming off a long Valentine’s Weekend, so on today’s episode of Loving Life at Home, I’m sharing encouragement to keep the love flowing all year long. The bulk of my comments are taken from an article I first published more than a decade ago. I hope you’ll listen in, or scroll past the show notes to read my original post — A Plea for Perseverance — in its entirety.

Show NotesVERSES CITED:John 3:16 – “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.”Romans 12:10 – “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.”RELATED LINKS:A Prayer for Singles – free printable prayer guideThe State of a Union – How grows your marriage?In Praise of the Manly Man – a poem I wrote for my husbandA Fish wihout Fins – one of my very first poems to my husbandA Hero in the Making – yet another poem I wrote me husband30-Day Love Your Wife Challenge – free email challenge for husbands30-Day Respect Challenge – free email challenge for wivesSTAY CONNECTED:Subscribe: Flanders Family Freebies – (weekly themed link lists of free resources)Instagram: follow @flanders_family for more great contentShop my books: Flanders Family StoreFamily Blog: Flanders Family Home Life (parenting tips, homeschool help, printables) Marriage Blog: Loving Life at Home  (encouragement for wives, mothers, believers)Once Valentine’s Day is OverFull transcript from Episode 76

Hello, Friend.

Welcome to Episode 76 of Loving Life at Home. Today is Monday, February 17, We are just coming off Valentine’s Weekend, so I thought this would be a great time to talk about perseverance.

My husband had 24-hour call on Valentine’s, so the two of us celebrated a day late, on the 15th, which also happens to be National Singles Awareness Day. Did you know that?

For years, I’ve been getting requests from readers and listeners who’ve asked me to make one of my free printable prayer guides for singles. They felt at a loss to even know how to pray for themselves or their unmarried friends or sons or daughters – especially the daughters, who often deeply long to be married but just haven’t found a suitable guy who is interested in building a life with THEM – and they were hoping I could suggest some biblically based prayers for them to pray on behalf of the singles they know and love.

So I finally got that done this year and posted it Saturday, just in time for Singles Day. I’ll be sure and link it in the show notes in case you are interested in printing a copy for yourself or for a single someone you know.

I have four daughters and three sons who fit into that category – one of my boys has a steady girlfriend, and one of my daughters is still too young to date – but the rest of these teens and young adults would love to meet a devoted Christian with similar goals who’d be interested in getting married and starting a family with them. So this prayer guide features some of the same prayers I pray for them.

Now, on the day before Valentine’s for the past several years, my middle daughter Rebekah has hosted what she calls a “Galentine’s  Party” for a bunch of her single friends. She cooks them dinner and reminds them that, even if they don’t have a husband or a sweetheart to spend Valentine’s with, that doesn’t mean they aren’t loved. Because she loves all of them, and even more importantly, Jesus loves them, so much so that gave His life to pay the price for their sin – He died, was buried, and rose again, so that they could have everlasting life in heaven with him.

Each year, she quotes a verse or two about God’s great love for us – this year it was John 3:16. Then she prays over her friends and over dinner. Then after everybody has eaten, she clears away the dishes and brings out four or five huge bucket loads of flowers she’s carted home from Trader Joe’s in Dallas, as well as dozens of different jars, vases, and other containers, and we all design our own floral arrangements.

She had about 25 ladies in attendance this year, and there were plenty of flowers for us all to make several bouquets – one to keep and one or two others to share with other single friends we know.

This “Galentine’s” party is a lovely tradition, and I’m so glad my daughter does it. But it wasn’t until this year that I realized she didn’t just make up that word or the event. There is actually a global holiday for celebrating female friendship called Galentine’s Day (or “Palentine’s Day” if you’re a guy who wants to celebrate all your buddies). It’s on February 13th, the day before Valentine’s.

Now being single – especially when you don’t want to be – takes a special kind of perseverance. But that’s not the perseverance I want to talk about today.

I want to talk about the perseverance that’s required to keep married love vibrant and thriving. Not like a bright bouquet of flowers that may look beautiful in the beginning, but wilts and fades over time.

No, we want a marriage relationship that is more like a hearty tree, that gets bigger and stronger with every passing year.

I met a woman who has that kind of marriage just last week at the 70th birthday party of a mutual friend. I liked her instantly, and she later texted me a sweet message about how much she enjoyed meeting me and my husband, and in the text she wished us a happy Valentine’s Day and shared a poem she’d written for her husband over a decade ago.

As somebody who’s written lots of poems for my own husband over the years – I’ll try to link a few in today’s show notes – reading what she’d written made me like her even more. So I wrote her back and wished her a happy Valentine’s, as well. To which she immediately replied: Just think. It could be every day!

That’s the kind of perseverance I’m talking about. And that is definitely a philosophy my husband and I share….

A Plea for Perseverance

When I was in high school I dated a boy who would go all-out for Valentine’s Day: long-stemmed red roses, boxes of chocolates, candlelight dinners, a bouquet of 75 red helium balloons, you name it.

Every day for the week, some grand new token of his affection would be delivered to my doorstep.

But then, Valentine’s would be over, and that would be that.

Two years older and away at college, he would go entire semesters without so much as a phone call or a post card.

Granted, this was before cell phones, and to reach me by telephone, he had to call the college switch board, who’d patch him through to the phone at the end of the hall on my dorm floor, which it would ring, and if anybody were around to hear it, they might answer, and then come knock on my door to see if I were in the room, in which case I’d walk to the end of the hall and talk to my boyfriend. That’s admittedly a hassle, so – as an adult – I understand why he didn’t do it.

But first class postage was only 20-cents back then, so he could’ve sent me some letters in the months between Valentine’s Days. But he didn’t. Which was ultimately for the best, because we both ended up finding spouses much better suited to our individual personalities. But at the time, that 51- weeks of silence stung.

The stark contrast between the over-attention I got the week of valentines and the complete non-communication I endured the rest of the year gave me a little bit of a jaded view toward all things cupid.

In my mind, Valentine’s Day is just window dressing. It’s a public display that may or may not accurately represent what is truly stored up in one’s heart.

Our most telling declarations of love aren’t made on February 14th — they are made in the days and weeks and months that follow.

When my husband brings home heart-shaped candy boxes and fancy flowers this time of year, I know that it’s (at least partially) because he knows the nurses at the hospital are going to quiz him about what he got me.

But when he brings me hot tea when I’m sick? Or starts a load of laundry for me when I’m busy? Or runs my bathwater when I’m tired? Or makes a list at work of things he wants to tell me when he gets home? He’s not doing any of that for show. Nobody will ever ask him about it. He does those things purely because he loves me and takes pleasure in demonstrating that fact in practical, everyday ways. He does an amazing job of living out Romans 12:10, which reads, “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.”

I love that about my husband.

Of course, wives can be just as guilty as men of pouring so much thought and energy into a single day that little is left over for later.

Several years ago, our family was attended a weeklong Christian camp – I’ll never forget this, because my parents had come with us that year, and every morning, while the kids were doing outdoor activities with their camp counselors, the adults would listen to Bible teachers. But on this particular morning, they decided to split up the husbands and wives into separate groups in order to have a frank discussion about sex. And the woman who was there to address the wives was urging us to make our time of intimacy a feast for our husband’s senses. She suggested we light candles and play soft music and sprinkle our sheets with perfume and slip into some beautiful negligee and really make it an evening to remember – something akin to a 5-star, gourmet meal.

And, honestly, I don’t see anything wrong with giving a wife giving her husband a feast for his senses. But I did take issue with what the speaker said next, which was to claim that by putting so much thought and preparation into this special evening with your spouse, he’d be perfectly content to wait a couple of weeks before you’d need to do it again.

I knew for a fact that two weeks without sex would’ve been harder on my husband than 11 months of radio silence had been on me between Valentine’s Days. So I raised my hand to challenge the speaker on this point.

“It’s funny you should compare this feast-for-the-senses to a gourmet meal,” I told her, “because I personally love gourmet food. But my husband doesn’t. He just can’t get full on two thin slices of pork medallion artfully arranged on a plate with three green beans. He’d starve if all he got was a sporadic sampling of gourmet delicasies. He’d much rather have plain, old-fashioned meat and potatoes every single night than one 5-star dinner every two weeks.”

The other young women seemed surprised that I would speak so openly with my own mother sitting right next to me, but she happily backed me up and confirmed that what I was saying was true.

If you enjoyed an extra-special evening of romance with your husband on the 14th, terrific. But don’t expect that single interlude to carry him over until next Valentine’s Day — or even until next week.

Sometimes when a wife breaks out the candles, perfume, background music, and lacey negligees, she – like that camp speaker — is tempted afterward to think, Wow! I really outdid myself tonight! That should tide my husband over for at least a week or two!

Meanwhile, her husband is thinking, Wow! That was amazing! We need to do it more often. How about tomorrow?

So… this is a plea for perseverance. Did you kindle some sparks this weekend? Don’t let them grow cold. Fan them into a flame, then keep it burning all year long.

More Biblically Sound Marriage Tips

The Word of God is full of wisdom for every facet of life, but we’ve found it especially helpful in building a happy, healthy marriage. For a fascinating look at how science has confirmed the superiority of God’s design, check out my book Love Your Husband, Love Yourself.

The post EP 76: After Valentine’s Day… A Plea for Perseverance appeared first on Loving Life at Home.

A Prayer for Singles

Over the years, multiple readers have asked me to make a Prayer for Singles. Some requests came from parents who wanted something to pray over their single sons or daughters. Another person asked for a prayer to pray for her single friends. I also heard from several readers who were single themselves and hoping a prayer guide would give direction to the prayers they were voicing on their own behalf.

So I created several different versions in response to all those different requests. And since February 15 is National Singles Awareness Day, this seems like the perfect time to share what I’ve come up with.

Of course, some people remain unmarried by choice, but the vast majority of singles I know — and especially single women — have a deep and persistent longing to be married. Yet they’ve never met a suitable life partner who was interested in them.

Perhaps they’ve prayed for years that God would send them a godly spouse, but to no apparent avail. It is hard not to grow discouraged in such circumstances. Hard not to wonder why God has turned a deaf ear to your pleas. Hard to shake the feeling that maybe you are being punished for something. Hard not to despair of ever finding love.

Romans 8:25-27 speaks to hard situations like this. It reads,

“But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it. And in the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.”

Romans 8:25-27

I love the fact that the Spirit prays on our behalf whenever we are too weak or weary or distraught to even know where to begin pouring our heart out to God. But I also love that, in moments of clarity, we can pray according to the will of God by praying His Word over whatever situation is troubling us.

The plight of my single sons and daughters is one I routinely take to the throne of Grace. Here is a generic version of the Biblically-based prayers I pray. However, when you click on the download button, you’ll get all four renditions of the printable so you can choose whichever format best fits your particular circumstance.

Click to Print Prayer for SinglesA Prayer for Singles

Heavenly Father, I ask that You would please strengthen and equip my unmarried friends and enable them to :

Serve the Lord with gladness

God, cultivate in my unmarried friends an undivided devotion to You. Sanctify them in both body and spirit. Give them meaningful work to do during their single years. Help them do that work patiently, cheerfully, wholeheartedly, without grumbling or complaining, always being mindful of the fact that they are serving You rather than man. – 1 Corinthians 7:32-35; Ephesians 6:7; Philippians 2:14; Colossians 3:23

Invest their time wisely

LORD, train my single friends to pray with the Psalmist, “Teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts to wisdom.” Life is so short; don’t let them squander time, but invest it prudently. May they pay careful attention to how they walk, acting wisely toward their fellow man and redeeming the time. – Psalm 90:12, 39:5; James 4:14-15; Proverbs 1:2-3; Ephesians 5:15-16; Colossians 4:5

Nurture relationships w/family & friends

God, it’s not good for man to be alone, so You set the lonely in families. Your Word says, “Two are better than one, for they have a good return for their labor.” Surround the singles I know with a community of friends and family members who will sharpen and encourage them and help carry their burdens – Psalm 68:6; Genesis 2:18; Ecclesiastes 4:9; Proverbs 27:7; 1 Thessalonians 5:11; Galatians 6:2

Glorify God in everything

LORD, whether my single friends eat or drink or whatever they do, may it all be done for Your glory and honor. May they walk in a worthy manner, pleasing You in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work, and ever increasing in the knowledge of God. Let their light shine so brightly that others would see their good deeds & glorify Your name.- 1 Corinthians 10:31; Colossians 1:10; Matthew 5:16

Let their requests be made known to God

Jesus, You said if we ask anything in Your name, You will do it. “Delight yourself in the LORD,” the psalmist wrote, “ and He will give you the desires of your heart.” LORD, teach my single friends to pray specifically and boldly approach Your throne. Reassure them that You love and care for them and want them to cast their anxiety upon You. – John 14:13-14; Psalm 37:4; Hebrews 4:16; 1 Peter 5:7

Encourage the downtrodden

LORD, turn the focus of my single friends outward. May they consider not only their own personal interests, but also the interests of others. May they daily encourage those around them and think of ways to spur others on to love and good works. Help them uplift the fainthearted, help the weak, and be patient with everyone. – Philippians 2:4; Hebrews 3:13, 10:24-25; 1 Thessalonians 5:14

Stay hopeful

God, help these singles hold fast to the confession of their hope without wavering. May they find their sense of purpose and belonging in You alone. Don’t let their zeal subside nor let them be put to shame, but keep them rejoicing in all circumstances, clinging to Your testimonies, and trusting You to work all things together for good. – Hebrews 10:23; Philippians 4:4; Psalm 119:31; Romans 12:1, 8:28

A Prayer for SinglesDownload

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EP 75: Emphasizing Your Husband’s Good Points

This week on the Loving Life at Home Podcast, we are discussing something of vital importance to marital happiness, and that is learning to emphasize your husband’s good points. I hope you’ll listen in and be encouraged.

The bulk of this episode was taken from a post I originally published nearly eleven years ago, which you can read in its entirety by scrolling past today’s show notes. Enjoy!

Show NotesVERSES CITED:Philippians 4:8 – “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”RELATED LINKS:EP 10 – We Find What We Look ForLove Is a Verb by Gary ChapmanSTAY CONNECTED:Subscribe: Flanders Family Freebies -(weekly themed link lists of free resources)Instagram: follow @flanders_family for more great contentShop my books: Flanders Family StoreFamily Blog: Flanders Family Home Life (parenting tips, homeschool help, printables) Marriage Blog: Loving Life at Home  (encouragement for wives, mothers, believers)Emphasize Your Husband’s Good Points

Pop quiz: Which would you prefer?

(a) That your husband focus his thoughts on your loveliest, most noble and praiseworthy characteristics?

(b) That he ignore your good points completely and concentrate instead on your most annoying and bothersome flaws?

Then do for him as you’d have him do for you….

Emphasize Your Husband’s Good PointsWhat attracted you to your husband in the first place?Express verbal admiration for those things.In what areas has he grown and matured since you met?Let him know you’ve noticed and appreciate the progress.What things would you miss most if he were gone?Thank him for everything he does for you and your family.Never take him for granted. Live each day as if it were your last.

Dwelling on the positive isn’t so hard, especially when you consider that even negative behaviors can sometimes stem from positive traits. Trace them back to their source.

Case in point: When we were first married, it often bothered me that my husband would make what I considered frivolous and impulsive purchases (back then, it was sodas and candy at the corner gas station, later it would be new cars and cutting-edge technologies).

But I eventually came to realize that my husband’s spending habits go hand-in-hand with his giving habits: figuratively, since he views money as a tool, not as a treasure to be clutched or loved or horded; but also literally, because he usually gives away to some grateful person in need whatever good-as-new thing he is upgrading or replacing.

That lavish generosity, that willingness to share God’s blessings with those around him, that ability to give cheerfully, hilariously even, is something very good indeed. It is one of the traits I admire and appreciate most about my husband. And now I am reminded of that fact every time he buys something I think he shouldn’t.

It’s okay for us to be different. His strengths are not my strengths, and vice versa. Much of this is by design, as God intends for man and woman to complement one another. Different is not necessarily bad. It is just… different.

So don’t focus on the areas where you are strong, but your husband is weak — areas where, in your opinion, perhaps he doesn’t quite measure up.

That focus will lead only to contempt, bitterness, and resentment, which will deal a deathblow to your love and intimacy, if not to your marriage itself. Think instead on the areas where you are weak but your husband is strong, areas where he complements and completes you.

Is your husband flawed? Certainly. He is a sinner. (In the words of Elizabeth Elliot, “There isn’t anything else to marry!”)

But beyond praying for him, that fact cannot — must not — be your focus.

So look for the good in your spouse. Search for it as you would search for buried treasure. And keep those traits at the forefront of your mind.

If focusing on the positive has been a struggle for you in the past, pray that God will help you see your husband with new eyes.

Praise and admire your spouse verbally and often. Are you glad God brought him into your life? Tell him so! Would you feel you were missing out without him? Let him know it!

Emphasize his good points in your thoughts and in your speech, and you will see more of the same flourish in his character, his life, and his manner.

This post is excerpted from my book, 25 Ways to Communicate Respect to Your Husband, winner of CSPA’s 2014 “Book of the Year” Award!

Available from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and through fine booksellers everywhere.

The post EP 75: Emphasizing Your Husband’s Good Points appeared first on Loving Life at Home.

EP 74: Standing in the TRUTH

My youngest daughter and I just got home from a fun-filled mother-daughter retreat our homeschool co-op sponsors every January. The theme of this year’s retreat was “Standing in the Truth.”

In this week’s episode, I’m sharing the major points of a talk I gave to the girls and their moms at the retreat on the same topic. I hope you’ll listen in and let me know what you think in the comment section below.

Show NotesVERSES CITED:John 14:6 – “”I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”Acts 4:12 – “Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to mankind by which we must be saved.”James 2:19 – “You believe that God is one. You do well; the demons also believe, and shudder.” 2 Peter 1:10 – “Therefore, brethren, be even more diligent to make your call and election sure, for if you do these things you will never stumble.”Matt. 7:22-23 – “Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name?”Ephesians 4:13-14 – “…no longer to be children, tossed here and there by waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine….”Psalm 139:13 – “For You created my innermost parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb.”1 Corinthians 10:31 – “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”1 Thessalonians 5:17 – “Pray without ceasing.”Philippians 4:6 – “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.”James 4:8 – “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you…”Hebrews 10:23-25 – “Let us hold fast to the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful….”Isaiah 64:6 – “…all our righteous acts are like filthy rags….”Ephesians 6:10-18 – “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. Put on the full armor of God…”RELATED LINKS:EP 27: God Wants the Whole PieEP 28: Bible Memory TipsOne-Year Bible Reading PlanFree Printable Prayer GuidesArmor of God PrintablesSTAY CONNECTED:Subscribe: Flanders Family Freebies -(weekly themed link lists of free resources)Instagram: follow @flanders_family for more great contentShop my books: Flanders Family StoreFamily Blog: Flanders Family Home Life (parenting tips, homeschool help, lots of free printables!) Marriage Blog: Loving Life at Home  (encouragement in your roles as wife, mother, believer) Standing in the TRUTHfull transcript from Episode 74

Hello ​friend. ​Welcome ​to ​Episode ​74 ​of ​Loving ​Life ​at ​Home. ​This ​week’s ​topic ​is ​Standing ​in ​the ​Truth. 

​My ​daughter ​and ​I ​just ​got ​back ​from ​a ​Mother ​Daughter ​retreat ​that ​our ​homeschool ​group sponsors ​every ​January, ​and ​I ​was ​asked ​to ​be ​”the ​keynote ​speaker” ​for ​the ​event, ​which ​is ​really ​just ​a ​highfalutin ​way ​of ​saying ​that ​I ​gave ​the ​very ​final ​talk ​of ​the ​weekend  ​[to about 30 attendees] on ​this ​topic ​of ​Standing ​in ​the ​Truth. ​

And ​since ​I ​love ​acrostics, ​I ​of ​course ​came ​up ​with ​an ​acrostic ​for ​my ​talk (T-R-U-T-H) ​and ​the ​elements ​I ​think ​are ​essential ​for ​standing ​in ​the ​truth, ​which ​is…

T: Trust ​in ​Jesus ​R: Read ​His ​WordU: Understand ​your ​purpose ​T: Talk ​to ​God ​daily, ​and ​H: Hold ​fast ​to ​your ​hope

So ​I ​thought ​for ​this ​week’s ​episode ​I’d ​just ​go ​through ​those ​points ​with ​you, and ​tell ​you ​basically ​what ​I ​told ​those ​girls ​and ​their ​moms. ​

My first point?

​T = Trust ​in ​Jesus. 

​I ​like ​to ​talk ​about ​trusting ​in ​Jesus ​rather ​than ​just ​trusting ​in ​God, ​because ​so ​many ​people ​mean ​so ​many ​different ​things ​when ​they ​say ​God ​these ​days. ​Some ​of ​them ​are ​talking ​about ​a ​force. ​Some ​of ​them ​are ​talking ​about ​the ​”God ​within” ​or ​the ​”God ​in ​nature.”  ​

They ​think ​everything’s ​God ​or ​nothing’s ​God, ​or ​God ​is ​just ​a ​feeling ​or ​the ​good ​side ​of ​the ​force ​or ​some ​other ​new ​age-y ​concept. ​And ​I ​think ​there’s ​a ​little ​bit ​less ​ambiguity ​when ​we ​talk ​about ​trusting ​in ​Jesus. ​

Jesus ​said ​in ​John ​14:6, “I ​am ​the ​way, ​the ​truth, ​and ​the ​life. ​Nobody ​comes ​unto the ​Father ​but ​through ​me.”

And ​Acts ​4:12 ​tells ​us, “There ​is ​salvation ​and ​no ​one ​else. ​For ​there ​is ​no ​other ​name ​under ​heaven ​given ​by ​which ​men ​should ​be ​saved.”

​So ​the ​first ​step ​in ​standing ​in ​truth ​is ​to ​know ​the ​truth ​and ​commit ​your ​life ​to ​the ​truth. ​

James ​2:19 ​tells ​us, “You ​believe ​God ​is ​one. ​You ​do well. The ​demons ​also ​believe ​and ​shudder.” ​So ​obviously ​this ​is ​more ​than ​just ​a ​head -knowledge ​of ​Christ ​that ​we’re ​talking ​about. ​To ​trust ​in ​Jesus ​is ​to ​commit ​your ​life ​to ​Him ​and ​to ​let ​Him ​be ​Lord ​of ​your ​life. ​

2 ​Peter ​1:10 ​urges ​us, ​”Wherefore, ​my ​brothers ​and ​sisters, ​make ​every ​effort ​to ​confirm ​your ​calling ​and ​election, ​for ​if ​you ​do ​these ​things, ​you ​will ​never ​stumble.” ​

And ​In ​Matthew ​chapter ​7, ​Jesus ​talks ​about ​the ​fact ​that ​some ​people, ​when ​they ​stand ​before ​the ​throne ​of ​judgment, ​will ​say, ​lord, ​didn’t ​we ​cast ​out ​demons ​and ​do ​miracles ​in ​your ​name? ​And ​he ​will ​have ​to ​say ​to ​them, ​”Depart ​from ​me, ​ye ​workers ​of ​iniquity, ​for ​I ​never ​knew ​you.” 

​So ​it’s ​possible ​for ​people ​to ​trust ​in ​their ​works ​rather ​than ​trusting ​in ​Jesus. ​Works are ​evidence ​of ​salvation, ​they’re ​not ​the ​basis ​of ​our ​salvation. ​And ​so ​whereas ​James ​tells ​us, “Ffaith ​without ​works ​is ​dead,” ​we ​know ​that ​the ​faith ​is ​essential ​and ​that ​precedes ​the ​works. 

​If ​you ​are ​trusting ​in ​anything ​except ​for ​the ​finished ​work ​of ​Jesus ​on ​the ​cross, ​then ​your ​faith ​is ​misplaced. ​So ​make ​sure ​that ​you’re ​trusting ​in ​Jesus ​if ​you ​want ​to ​stand ​in ​the ​truth, ​then…

R = Read ​His ​Word. ​

One ​of ​the ​moms ​in ​her ​talk ​earlier ​in ​the ​weekend ​talked ​about ​federal ​agents ​who ​are ​tasked ​with ​recognizing ​counterfeits. ​They ​don’t ​spend ​all ​their ​time ​feeling ​of ​counterfeits ​and ​trying ​to discern ​what ​makes ​them ​different. ​

They ​spend ​their ​time becoming ​so ​familiar ​with ​the ​real ​deal, ​with ​the ​actual ​currency ​of ​the ​United ​States, ​that ​they ​can ​easily ​recognize ​when ​something ​is ​off. ​And ​we ​need ​to ​do ​the ​same ​thing ​with ​God’s ​Word. ​

We ​need ​to ​be ​so ​steeped ​in ​the ​word ​of ​God ​and ​so ​well ​rooted ​in ​the ​word ​of ​God — we ​need ​to ​read ​it ​and ​memorize ​it ​and ​let ​our ​roots ​sink ​deep ​into ​it — so ​that ​when ​we ​hear ​something that ​does ​not ​line ​up ​with ​Scripture, ​we ​will ​immediately ​recognize ​it ​as ​being ​faulty. ​

The ​Bible ​talks ​about ​Satan ​being ​like ​a ​roaring ​lion ​who ​prowls ​about ​seeking ​somebody ​to ​devour. ​And ​that ​is ​always ​true. ​But ​he ​does ​not ​always ​appear ​as ​a ​roaring ​lion. ​Sometimes ​he ​comes ​as ​an ​angel ​of ​light — ​even ​an ​angel ​of ​light ​that ​quotes ​scripture. ​

When ​Jesus ​was ​in ​the ​wilderness ​and ​was ​being ​tempted ​by ​Satan, ​Satan ​was ​quoting ​the ​Word ​of ​God ​to ​him. ​But ​he ​was ​doing ​so ​by ​taking ​verses ​out ​of ​context ​and ​misapplying ​them. ​But ​Jesus, ​what ​did ​He ​do? ​He ​answered ​back ​with ​the ​Word ​of ​God ​Himself, ​properly ​applied. ​And ​we ​want ​to ​be ​able ​to ​do ​that ​too. ​

We ​need ​to ​be ​able ​to ​recognize ​when ​things ​are ​being ​taken ​out ​of ​context, ​when ​they’re ​being ​twisted ​and ​perverted ​to ​mean ​something ​that ​God ​didn’t ​intend ​for ​them ​to ​mean. ​And ​the ​only ​way ​that ​we ​can ​do ​that ​is ​to ​be ​so ​well-acquainted ​with ​God’s ​Word ​that ​we ​know ​what ​it ​says ​and ​we ​know ​what ​it ​means, ​and ​we ​do ​our ​very ​best ​to ​live ​by ​it. ​

In ​the ​book ​of ​Acts, ​the ​Bereans ​are ​commended ​for ​the ​fact ​that ​everything ​they ​heard, ​they ​would ​examine ​in ​light ​of ​Scripture. ​We ​need ​to ​do ​the ​same. ​

Our ​goal ​is ​to ​be ​”mature ​to ​the ​full ​measure ​of ​the ​stature ​of ​Christ, ​so ​that ​we ​won’t ​be ​like ​children ​tossed ​here ​and ​there ​by ​waves ​and ​carried ​about ​by ​every ​window ​of ​doctrine, ​or ​by ​the ​trickery ​of ​men, ​or ​by ​craftiness ​and ​deceitful ​scheming.” ​

​When ​I ​think ​about ​something ​being ​carried ​about ​by ​every ​wind ​of ​doctrine, ​I ​envision ​what ​we ​see ​so ​commonly ​when ​we ​drive ​through ​West ​Texas. and ​that ​is ​tumbleweeds. ​Those ​things, ​they ​don’t ​have ​any ​root, ​and ​they ​just ​blow ​about, ​scattering ​their ​seeds ​here ​and ​there ​and ​everywhere. 

​I ​don’t ​want ​to ​be ​like ​the ​tumbleweeds ​that ​are ​not ​rooted. ​I ​want ​to ​be ​like ​the ​tree ​that ​is ​described ​in ​Psalm ​1, ​which ​says, ​

Blessed ​is ​the ​man ​that ​walketh ​not in ​the ​counsel ​of ​the ​ungodly, ​nor ​standeth ​in ​the ​way ​of ​sinners, ​nor ​sitteth ​in ​the ​seat ​of ​the ​scornful. ​But ​his ​delight ​is ​in ​the ​law ​of ​the ​Lord, ​and ​in ​that ​law ​he ​doth ​meditate ​day ​and ​night. ​And ​he ​shall ​be ​like ​a ​tree ​planted ​by ​the ​rivers ​of ​water ​that ​bring ​forth ​his ​fruit ​in ​his ​season. ​His ​leaf ​also ​shall ​not ​wither, ​and ​whatsoever ​he ​doeth ​shall ​prosper. ​

Psalm 1:1-3

That ​should ​be ​all ​of ​our ​goals, ​to ​be ​well-​rooted ​by ​streams ​of ​water — living ​water — ​which ​is ​another ​name ​that ​Jesus ​applied ​to ​himself. ​He ​is ​the ​Living ​Water, ​and ​we ​want ​our ​roots ​to ​go ​deep ​into ​Him. ​

Then ​we come to…

U = Understand ​your ​purpose. 

​Psalm ​139:13 ​tells ​us ​that ​God ​knit ​us ​together ​in ​our ​mother’s ​wombs, ​​and ​He ​did ​so ​with ​intentionality ​and ​with ​purpose. ​I ​just ​love ​that ​fact. 

​If ​you’ve ​ever ​read ​the ​Westminster ​Catechism (and ​a ​catechism ​is ​just ​a ​series ​of ​question ​and ​answers ​that ​is ​used ​to ​teach ​younger ​children ​doctrines ​of ​the ​faith), the ​very ​first ​question ​in ​the Westminster Catechism ​is, ​”What ​is ​the ​divine ​end ​of ​man?” ​

And ​the ​answer ​is, ​”Man’s ​divine ​end ​is ​to ​glorify ​God ​and ​enjoy ​Him ​forever.” ​That ​is ​the ​purpose ​that ​underlines ​all ​other ​purposes ​in ​our ​life, ​is ​to ​glorify ​God ​and ​enjoy ​Him ​forever. ​

You ​may ​feel ​a ​specific ​calling ​in ​addition ​to ​this. ​For ​instance, ​by ​age ​2 ​or ​3, ​my ​husband ​knew ​he ​wanted ​to ​be ​a ​physician, ​and ​he ​never ​wavered ​from ​that ​goal. ​And ​he ​pursued ​it ​and ​eventually ​achieved ​it. ​

And ​I ​knew ​from ​a ​very ​young ​age ​that ​I ​wanted ​to ​be ​I ​stay-​at-home ​mom ​with ​a ​lot ​of ​children ​and ​homeschool ​them. ​And ​God ​was ​so ​good ​to ​grant ​that ​desire ​of ​both ​of ​our ​hearts, ​for both ​my ​husband ​and me. ​

But ​sometimes ​the ​deepest ​desires ​of ​our ​heart ​are ​not ​granted. ​I ​have ​several ​daughters ​who​would ​love ​to ​be ​married ​but ​are ​not ​yet ​married. ​They ​haven’t ​met ​the ​right ​guy, ​and ​they’ve ​had ​to ​go ​to ​a ​Plan ​B ​for ​their ​life. ​

And ​it ​is ​not ​as ​fulfilling ​as ​they ​imagine ​marriage ​and ​motherhood ​would ​be. ​But ​one ​of ​them ​was ​telling ​me ​just ​a ​couple ​of ​weeks ​ago ​that ​she ​realizes ​that ​she ​doesn’t ​have ​to ​be ​living ​her ​dream ​to ​be ​able ​to ​fulfill ​her ​purpose ​of ​glorifying ​God. ​That ​she ​can ​glorify ​God ​right ​where ​she ​is ​today. ​

Glorifying ​God ​is ​not ​something ​we ​put ​off ​doing ​until ​our ​dreams ​come ​true’something ​that ​we ​need ​to ​be ​doing ​in ​the ​process, ​in ​the ​in ​between ​time, ​as ​we’re ​waiting, ​we ​can ​glorify ​God ​– and ​that ​is ​his ​will ​for ​all ​of ​us. ​

1 ​Corinthians ​10:31 ​tells ​us,

 ​”Whether ​then ​you ​eat ​or ​drink ​or ​whatever ​you ​do, ​do ​all ​for ​the ​glory ​of ​God,”

1 Corinthians 10:31

So ​undergirding ​whatever ​other ​purpose ​or ​calling ​you ​feel ​God ​has ​put ​on ​your ​life, ​that ​giving ​glory ​and ​honor ​to ​Him ​and ​everything ​is ​going ​to ​take ​precedence ​and ​can ​be ​fulfilled ​whether ​your ​hopes ​ever ​materialize ​or ​not.

Then ​next comes…

T = Talk ​to ​God ​Daily. ​

1 ​Thessalonians ​5:17, ​which ​I’ve ​quoted ​many ​times ​before ​on ​this ​podcast, ​but ​it’s ​such ​a ​short ​and ​simple ​verse, ​but ​sometimes ​we ​find ​it ​hard ​to ​apply: “​Pray ​without ​ceasing.” ​

And ​that ​is ​what ​prayer ​is. ​It’s just ​talking ​to ​God. ​

Philippians ​4:6 ​tells ​us, 

“Be ​anxious ​for ​nothing ​but ​in ​every ​everything ​by ​prayer ​and ​supplication ​with ​thanksgiving, ​let ​your ​request ​be ​made ​known ​unto ​God.”

Philippians 4:6

One ​of ​the ​moms ​was ​sharing ​at ​the ​retreat ​a ​very ​pivotal ​moment ​when ​she ​had ​done ​something ​to ​upset ​her ​mother ​and ​realized ​that ​she ​had ​done ​wrong. ​And ​so — ​she ​she ​was ​very ​young, ​maybe ​7 ​or ​8 ​years ​old — she ​drew ​her ​mother ​a ​picture ​and ​went ​to ​her ​mother ​and ​asked ​for ​forgiveness. ​

And ​she ​was ​really ​just ​longing ​to ​be ​embraced ​by ​her ​mother ​and ​forgiven. ​But ​her ​mother ​was ​very ​dismissive ​of ​her ​efforts ​to ​restore ​that ​relationship, ​which ​was ​very ​sad. ​But ​God ​had ​given ​this ​friend ​the ​grace ​to ​forgive ​her ​mother ​and ​extend ​grace ​toward ​her. ​And ​she ​now, ​as ​an ​adult, ​has ​a ​great ​relationship ​with ​the ​mom, ​which ​is ​not ​always ​the ​case. ​

Sometimes ​some ​little ​thing ​that ​happens ​in ​the ​past ​just ​becomes ​a ​seed ​of ​bitterness. ​It ​springs ​up ​and ​creates ​this ​wall ​of ​thorns ​between ​you ​and ​the ​other ​person. ​And ​that’s ​so ​dangerous. ​

But ​thankfully ​that ​didn’t ​happen ​with ​her. ​She ​was able to ​recognize, ​”My ​mom ​was ​probably ​stressed ​out. ​I ​was ​probably ​working ​on ​her ​last ​nerve.” ​And, ​you ​know, ​she ​realized ​her ​mom ​was ​human ​and ​was ​going ​to ​make ​mistakes ​and ​needed ​to ​be ​forgiven ​just ​like ​she ​needs ​to ​be ​forgiven. ​

But ​I think ​it’s ​important ​to ​remember ​that ​God ​is ​not ​going ​to ​do ​that ​to ​us. ​He’s ​not ​going ​to ​be ​dismissive. ​When ​we ​come ​to Him ​in ​prayer, ​He ​listens, and ​He ​always ​stands ​ready ​to ​forgive. ​And ​He ​desires ​that ​relationship ​to ​be ​restored ​even ​more ​than ​we ​do. ​

James ​4. ​8 ​tells ​us, ​

“Draw ​near ​to ​God ​and ​He ​will ​draw ​near ​to ​you.” ​

James 4:8

So ​do ​everything ​you ​can ​to ​keep ​those ​lines ​of ​communication ​open ​between ​yourself ​and ​God ​by ​praying ​and ​talking ​to ​Him ​daily. ​

Then ​that ​last ​point is, ​

H = Hold ​fast ​to ​your ​hope. 

​This ​refers ​to ​one of ​my ​favorite ​passages ​in ​scripture. ​When ​I ​was ​in ​high ​school, ​I ​did ​a ​lot ​of ​artwork. ​And ​on ​almost ​every ​piece ​of ​artwork ​that ​you ​can find ​from ​that ​time ​in ​my ​life, ​you’ll ​see ​my ​name ​signed ​with ​this ​verse ​underneath ​it, ​which ​is ​Hebrews ​10:23-25. ​And ​it ​says, ​

“Let ​us ​hold ​fast ​the ​confession ​of ​our ​hope ​without ​wavering, ​for ​He ​who ​promised ​is ​faithful. ​And ​let ​us ​consider ​how ​to ​stimulate ​one ​another ​to ​love ​and ​good ​deeds, ​not ​forsaking ​the ​assembly ​of ​ourselves together, ​as ​is ​the ​habit ​of ​some, ​but ​encouraging ​one ​another, ​and ​all ​the ​more ​as ​we ​see ​the ​day ​drawing ​near.”

Hebrews 10:23-25

Which was ​what ​this ​whole ​mother -daughter ​retreat ​was ​all about, ​was ​to ​encourage ​one ​another ​to ​love ​and ​good ​deeds ​and ​to ​build ​those ​relationships ​at ​home ​with ​our ​daughters, ​which ​is ​really ​great, ​but ​also ​to ​encourage ​us ​to ​hold ​fast ​to ​our ​hope ​and ​to ​cling ​to ​Jesus. 

When ​I ​was ​pregnant ​with ​my ​third ​child, ​I ​started ​having ​recurrent ​nightmares. ​And ​at ​least ​two ​or ​three ​times ​a ​month, ​I ​would ​dream ​that ​that ​new ​little ​baby ​drowned. ​Every ​time ​it ​was ​in ​some ​different ​body ​of ​water, ​maybe ​the ​fountain ​at ​church ​or ​the ​bathtub ​or ​a ​swimming ​pool ​or ​the ​lake ​or ​a ​paint ​bucket ​out ​in ​our ​backyard. ​It ​was ​just ​constant. ​

And ​every ​time ​I ​dreamed ​it, ​I ​would ​wake ​up ​sobbing ​and ​my ​sobs ​would ​wake ​up ​my ​husband. And ​he’d ​reach ​over ​and ​pat ​me ​and ​reassure ​me. ​Jennifer, ​I ​don’t ​really ​think ​that ​this ​is ​even ​about ​the ​baby ​drowning. ​I ​really ​think ​it ​is ​about ​your ​feeling ​inadequate ​to ​take ​care ​of ​a ​third ​baby — which ​probably ​hit ​the ​nail ​on ​the ​head. ​

But ​when ​those ​dreams ​persisted ​even ​after ​the ​baby ​was ​born, ​I ​was ​reluctant ​to ​even ​let ​that ​child ​take ​a ​bath ​without first putting a ​lifejacket on him. ​​I ​was ​so ​hyper-vigilant ​over ​him —  ​and ​who ​can ​tell ​but ​that ​God ​sent ​me ​those ​dreams ​to ​make ​sure ​that ​I ​was ​hyper-vigilant, ​because ​this ​child ​was ​very, ​very ​quiet, ​and ​he ​was ​into ​everything, ​and ​was ​quite ​a ​climber ​also!

But ​eventually ​he ​did ​get ​proficient ​enough ​at ​swimming ​that ​we ​were ​able ​to ​take ​off ​the ​life ​jackets ​and ​take ​off ​the ​water ​wings ​and ​let ​him ​go ​it ​alone. ​And ​by ​the ​time ​he ​was ​16 ​or ​17, ​he ​was ​doing ​triathlons ​and ​swimming ​a ​mile ​out ​into ​open ​water ​and ​was ​unstoppable. ​

But ​boy, ​as ​a ​child ​I ​didn’t ​see ​that ​day ​coming ​very ​quickly. ​Yet ​that’s ​what ​as ​parents ​we ​want ​for ​our ​children. ​

We ​want ​for ​them ​to ​grow ​up ​to ​responsible ​and ​independent ​adults. ​

We ​want ​them ​to ​need ​us ​less ​and ​less. ​

We’re ​trying ​from ​the ​very ​beginning ​to ​work ​ourselves ​out ​of ​the ​job ​by ​teaching ​them ​everything ​they ​need ​to ​know ​to ​survive ​in ​this ​world ​as ​adults. 

And ​I ​think ​it ​is ​interesting ​that ​our ​goal ​for ​our ​children ​and ​the ​mark ​of ​maturity ​for ​our ​children ​is ​actually ​just ​opposite ​God’s ​goal ​for ​us ​and ​the ​mark ​of ​maturity ​for ​us. ​Because ​when ​we ​come ​to ​Christ, ​we ​may ​not ​recognize ​at ​that ​point, so ​early ​on ​in ​our ​relationship ​with ​Him, ​how ​utterly ​dependent ​we ​are ​on ​the ​Lord ​for ​everything. ​

But ​the ​more ​and ​more ​we ​mature ​in ​our ​faith, ​the ​more ​we ​see ​how ​we ​have ​to ​rely ​on ​Him ​for ​everything. ​He ​supplies ​all ​of ​our ​needs. 

​And ​while ​our ​goal ​for ​our ​children ​is ​for ​them ​to ​become ​independent ​of ​us, ​I ​think ​God’s ​goal ​for ​us ​is ​to ​recognize ​more ​and ​more ​how ​utterly ​dependent ​we ​are ​upon ​Him, ​and ​to ​hold ​fast ​to ​Him ​through ​thick ​and ​thin, ​through ​good ​times ​and ​bad, ​to ​be ​able ​to ​trust ​Him ​and ​affirm ​His ​goodness ​and ​know ​that ​He ​is ​there ​with ​us, ​walking ​every ​step ​of ​the ​way, ​through ​every ​trial. ​I ​think ​that ​that ​is ​very ​important. ​

And ​then ​the ​last ​thing ​I ​want ​to ​do ​in ​discussing ​this ​concept ​of ​standing ​in ​the ​truth ​is ​to ​read ​Ephesians ​6:10 ​through ​18, ​because ​it ​ties ​in ​so ​beautifully ​with ​each ​of ​these ​five ​points. 

​It ​says, 

​”Finally, ​brethren, ​be ​strong ​in ​the ​Lord ​and ​in ​the ​power ​of ​His ​might, ​put ​on ​the ​whole ​armor ​of ​God, ​that ​you ​may ​be ​able ​to ​stand ​against ​the ​wiles ​of ​the ​devil. ​For ​we ​wrestle ​not ​with ​flesh ​and ​blood, ​but ​against ​principalities, ​against ​powers, ​against ​the ​rulers ​of ​darkness ​of ​this ​world, ​against ​spiritual ​wickedness ​in ​high ​places.

“Wherefore ​take ​unto ​you ​the ​whole ​armor ​of ​God, ​that ​you ​may ​be ​able ​to ​stand ​in ​the ​evil ​day, ​and ​having ​done ​all ​to ​stand [which ​of ​course ​was ​the ​theme ​of ​our ​retreat, ​standing ​in ​the ​truth].

“Stand ​therefore, ​having ​your ​loins ​girt ​about ​with ​truth. ​[There’s ​that ​word ​again.] ​

“And ​having ​on ​the ​breastplate ​of ​righteousness. ​[And, ​by ​the ​way, ​Isaiah ​64:6 ​tells ​us ​our ​own ​righteousness ​is ​as ​filthy ​rags, ​but ​when ​we ​put ​our ​faith ​in ​God ​and ​trust ​in ​Jesus, ​His ​perfect ​righteousness ​is ​imputed ​to ​us.]

​”And ​having ​your ​feet ​shod ​with ​the ​preparation ​of ​the ​gospel ​of ​peace [​that’s ​in ​order ​to ​make ​Christ ​known ​or ​to ​glorify ​him, ​which ​is ​part ​of ​understanding ​your ​purpose]. ​

“Above ​all, ​taking ​the ​shield ​of ​faith ​[there ​you ​have ​hold ​fast ​to ​your ​hope. ​You ​don’t ​want ​to ​drop ​that ​shield ​in ​battle] ,​wherewith ​you ​shall ​be ​able ​to ​quench ​all ​the ​fiery ​darts ​of ​the ​wicked.

“And ​take ​the ​helmet ​of ​salvation ​[that’s ​my ​first ​point: trust ​in ​Jesus] ​and ​the ​sword ​of ​the ​Spirit, ​which ​is ​the ​word ​of ​God. ​[So ​read ​it ​faithfully.]

​”Praying ​Always ​[talk ​to ​God ​daily] ​with ​all ​prayer ​and ​supplication ​in ​the ​Spirit ​and ​watching ​thereunto ​with ​all ​perseverance [which ​again ​speaks ​to ​holding ​fast ​to ​your ​hope] ​and ​supplications ​for ​the ​saints [which ​again ​talks ​about ​praying].”

So ​my ​prayer ​for ​you ​is ​that ​you ​will ​be ​able ​to ​first ​know ​the ​truth ​and ​put ​your ​faith ​completely ​in ​God. Not ​in ​your ​own ​works, ​not ​in ​any ​false ​God, ​but ​in ​Jesus ​Christ ​who ​was ​wholly ​God, ​wholly ​man, ​who ​died ​for ​our ​sin, ​was ​buried, ​resurrected ​and ​reigns ​in ​heaven ​today.

​And ​that ​you ​will ​read ​His ​Word ​and ​understand ​your ​purpose, ​that ​you’ll ​talk ​to ​Him ​daily ​and ​hold ​fast ​to ​the ​hope ​that ​is ​within ​you. 

Thanks ​so ​much ​for ​listening ​today. ​I’ll ​talk ​with ​you ​again ​next ​week. ​

The Word of God is full of wisdom for every facet of life, but we’ve found it especially helpful in building a happy, healthy marriage. For a fascinating look at how science has confirmed the superiority of God’s design, check out my book Love Your Husband/Love Yourself.

The post EP 74: Standing in the TRUTH appeared first on Loving Life at Home.

EP 73: How to Get Your Kids to Stop Fighting

Are sibling squabbles driving you crazy? Do you crave a respite from all your kids’ bickering? Then listen in today as I answer another reader’s question: “How can I get my kids to stop fighting?”

Show NotesVERSES CITED:1 John 4:20-21 – “…the one who loves God should love his brother also.”Luke 6:31 – “Do to others as you would have them do to you.”Galatians 5:13 – “…do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.”Proverbs 6:16-19 – “…things which the LORD hates…one who spreads strife among brothers.”Galatians 6:9 – “Let us not grow weary of doing good, in due season we shall reap.”Psalm 133:1 – “Behold how good and how pleasant it is For brothers to live together in unity!”RELATED LINKS: EP 44: Cultivating Friendships between SiblingsStop Sibling Squabbles in 5 Simple StepsHelp! My Kids Won’t Stop Fighting!Teaching Kindness (Free Printable)STAY CONNECTED:Subscribe: Flanders Family Freebies -(weekly themed link lists of free resources)Instagram: follow @flanders_family for more great contentShop my books: Flanders Family StoreFamily Blog: Flanders Family Home Life (parenting tips, homeschool help, free printables!) Marriage Blog: Loving Life at Home  (encouragement for wives, mothers, believers) How to Keep Kids from Fighting

Today’s podcast is taken almost word for word from two posts I published on my family blog, listed above (Stop Sibling Squabbles in 5 Simple Steps and Help! My Kids Won’t Stop Fighting!) So if you’d rather read than listen, just click through the given links.

With a little patience, practice, pruning, and lots and lots of prayer, I’m convinced you will see a marked improvement in the relationships between your children, just as I have.

The post EP 73: How to Get Your Kids to Stop Fighting appeared first on Loving Life at Home.

A Prayer of Faith

I’m sharing one reader’s request for another of my free printable prayer guides this week. I call this one A Prayer of Faith.

Faith is essential to the Christian life. Whether you are just now coming to a saving faith in Jesus or you are asking God to increase your faith or you are looking to Him to supply some other pressing need, the steps are the same:

We approach the Throne of Grace with a reverent FEAR of the One who sits upon it.We ACKNOWLEDGE our need before God and ask Him to supply it.We IMPLORE His forgiveness for all our sins and shortcomings.We TURN away from sin and yield ourselves fully to serving the Lord Jesus Christ.We put our full HOPE and trust in Him to save us, sanctify us, and provide for us.

And we live in obedience to Scripture, which tells us plainly:

“Without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him.” – Hebrews 11:6 A Prayer of FAITHFear the LORD

God, Your Word says that a reverent fear of the LORD has the power to lengthen one’s life and is foundational to true wisdom. Don’t let me ever forget that! As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are Your ways higher than my ways and Your thoughts higher than my thoughts. You are holy and do great things I cannot comprehend!

Proverbs 10:27; Psalm 111:10; Isaiah 55:9; Isaiah 6:3; Job 37:5

Acknowledge Your Need

LORD, just as a sheep without a shepherd goes astray, so am I lost without You. I’ve stubbornly chosen to go my own way rather than to follow after Jesus. Apart from Him, I am wretched, pitiful, poor, blind, and naked. You know my frame and are mindful that I am but dust, yet You regard me with compassion like a father his child.

Matthew 9:36; Isaiah 53:6; Revelation 3:17; Psalm 103:13-14

Implore His Forgiveness

“Have mercy on me, O God, according to Your loving devotion; according to Your great compassion, blot out my transgressions.” You promised that, if we confess our sins, You are faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Thank you for redeeming me through Christ’s blood according to the riches of Your grace, which You’ve lavished upon me.

Psalm 51:1; 1 John 1:9; Ephesians 1:7

Turn from Your Sin

It is Your lovingkindness, O LORD, that leads us to repentance. You promise mercy to all who confess and renounce their sin, so I confess and renounce mine right now. My spirit is willing, but my flesh is weak, so strengthen my resolve to flee immorality, make the way of escape crystal clear, and guard me against any temptation too heavy for me to endure.

Romans 2:4; Proverbs 28:13; Mark 14:38; 1 Corinthians 6:18; 1 Corinthians 10:13

Hope Only in Christ

Jesus, You are my only hope, not merely for this present life, but also for the life to come! I wait for You, LORD, and in Your Word I put my trust. Let me hold fast to that hope without wavering, knowing that You are faithful and will fulfill every one of Your promises as You make known the glorious riches of this mystery: Christ in me, the hope of glory.

1 Corinthians 15:19-20; Psalm 130:5; Hebrews 10:23; Colossians 1:27

Download a Prayer of FaithMore Printable Prayer Guides

You will find many more prayer guides you can download individually for free by following this link: Free Printable Prayer Guides.

Or you can save time by investing in a copy of my Pretty Prayer Print Pack and then download a whole bundle of resources in a single click, including all our most popular prayer guides plus prayer lists and diaries, prayer-themed coloring pages, prayer cards, and beautiful printable artwork suitable for framing. Several of the resources in this collection are not available anywhere else.

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Top 10 Books of 2024

Another year. Another 72 books. Another post about my favorite reads from the past 12 months. I’ve narrowed the list down to my top 10 books from 2024, but I can only offer them to you in the order I read them. Please don’t ask me to rank them any further than that.

Also, realize this top 10 excludes the Bible, which truly would be at the top of my list every time, as I re-read it cover-to-cover each year following this reading plan. If you have time to read only one book in 2025, that’s always the first one I’d recommend.

But if you have time for more, check the following titles:

My 10 Best Books of 2024 Understood Betsy by Dorothy Canfield Fisher

A young orphan girl is as timid and nervous as the three spinster aunts who are bringing her up. But when one aunt falls sick, Betsy is sent to live with relatives whose ways are completely foreign to her, and a marvelous transformation occurs.

Fans of the Little House books or Anne of Green Gables series are sure to love Understood Betsy as much as we did. It’s a sweet and heartwarming story.

Another Gospel by Alisa Childers

Another Gospel examines the claims of progressive Christianity and explains why the progressive “gospel” is no gospel at all. In the foreword, Lee Strobel urges readers to share favorite quotes on social media from this must-read book, so here’s one of my favorites: “In years past, it was assumed that if you called yourself a Christian, you believed in biblical authority. But now as progressive Christianity infiltrates and infects the true church, we all must decide: How much authority does this book hold in our lives? To inform our view of the Bible, we can choose to follow the whims of a godless culture or we can choose to follow Jesus.  I choose Jesus.”

Carry On, Mr. Bowditch by Jean Lee Latham

The kids and I thoroughly enjoyed Carry On, Mr. Bowditch, an inspiring tale about the extremely brilliant and largely self-educated Nathanial Bowditch.

When a 9-year-indentureship dashes his hopes of attending Harvard, young Nat begins studying on his own: physics, astronomy, mathematics, Latin, French, navigation — he is interested and becomes proficient at it all. His understanding of science and his precise mathematical calculations changed the way navigation was conducted and thereby made sailing the seven seas much safer for everyone who heeded his counsel.

On Writing (and Writers) by C.S. Lewis

I found C.S. Lewis’s ​On Writing​ absolutely delightful. Filled with sound advice and sage tips in easily digestible tidbits, the entire book is comprised of selected portions on the topic from his voluminous personal correspondence. The most impressive part of the book lies not in the very excellent and practical guidelines provided, but in the fact that the entire content of the book was gleaned from the countless, thoughtfully-crafted letters Lewis sent to friends and colleagues over the years. Oh, that modern man would weigh his thoughts so carefully and express them so articulately — in private as well as in public!

Love Not the World by Watchman Nee

​Love Not the World by Watchman Nee is a brief but challenging book that is well worth the read. One of my favorite quotes from this work:

“Every glory that is not glory to God is vain glory, and it is amazing what paltry successes can produce vain glory. Wherever we meet pride, we meet the world. And there is an immediate leakage in our fellowship with God. O, that God would open our eyes to see clearly what the world is. Not only evil things but all those things that draw us ever so gently away from God are units of that system that is antagonistic to Him.”

Bad Therapy by Abigail Shrier

Bad Therapy is a New York Times bestseller for good reason. I wish every parent on the planet would read. It explains how and why so many popular parenting and educational philosophies are terribly misguided. In their risk-avoidant efforts to keep kids safe and to protect their mental health, these tactics are doing far more harm than good. They’ve produced an entire generation of kids who are intently focused on their own emotions but seem incapable of empathizing with anyone else’s, who want all the perks of adulthood and none of the responsibilities, who are plagued by anxiety and terrified of growing up.

​ A Single Shard  by Linda Sue Park

Tree-ear is an orphan who observes and admires the work of a master potter from afar. When the potter is away, he creeps closer for a better look at the intricate greenware. The potter returns unexpectedly and startles Tree-ear, who drops the piece he was examining, shattering it at his feet. When the boy volunteers to work off the debt, his life takes a series of turns he never could have anticipated.

I read A Single Shard aloud to my kids and grandkids but was crying so hard by the end of it, I had to pause several times to regain my composure. Such a sweet story! I highly recommend it.

How Not to Diet by Michael Greger

It took me several months to get through Michael Greger’s massive tome, How Not to Diet. He originally intended the book to be an examination and discussion of the safety and effectiveness of the most popular diet trends and weight-loss fads, but — in typical Greger fashion — it ballooned into so much more than that. What resulted was some of the most compelling, science-based suggestions for achieving healthy and sustained weight loss you’ll ever find, including 21 cutting-edge tweaks to accelerate and multiply your weight loss in simple and easily achievable ways. He even created a free app to help you keep track of these suggestions.

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

My daughter and I read Pride & Prejudice together for the first time last year. Of course, we were already familiar with the storyline, having watched the 2005 film version. But as is so often the case, the book was far richer and provided fuller descriptions of every character and scene. I especially enjoyed the witty exchanges between Elizabeth and her father. I was more deeply appalled by the entitled prejudices of her mother and younger sister. And I found the slow and steady growth of respect, understanding, and finally love between Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy heartwarmingly beautiful.

Just Do Something by Kevin DeYoung

The seemingly endless number of choices, possibilities and opportunities available these days is enough to paralyze a lot of people. They are so afraid of making the wrong decision that they fail to decide on anything at all (which, o is itself a decision). In Just Do Something, Kevin DeYoung argues that, instead of waiting for God to spell out, in advance, a step-by-step plan for your life, you should use the general principles of His Word to map out your own course of action and pursue it, trusting that God will redirect you if He has something different in mind for your life.

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The post Top 10 Books of 2024 appeared first on Loving Life at Home.

EP 72: Dealing with Neighbors Who Aren’t Very Neighborly

For the new year, I want to tackle some of the questions that have been piling up in my inbox, starting with how to deal with neighbors who aren’t very neighborly. Listen in for tips on getting through to the people who live in closest proximity to you.

Show NotesVERSES CITED:Matthew 5:14  – “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden.”  Proverbs 27:10 – “…Better is a neighbor who is near than a brother who is far away.”Matthew 22:36-39 – “… You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”RELATED LINKS: 25 Ways to Be a Good Neighbor –  a blog post I wrote several years agoOn Loving Your Neighbor – more about our move into the Mayberry-ish neighborhoodLove Your Neighbor Coloring Page – hand-drawn design featuring Mark 12:31Good Neighbor Conversation Starters – prompt good family discussions on the topicThe Gospel Comes with a House Key – book by Rosaria ButterfieldLoving My Actual Neighbor – book by Alexandra KuykendallSTAY CONNECTED:Subscribe: Flanders Family Freebies -(weekly themed link lists of free resources)Instagram: follow @flanders_family for more great contentShop our books: Flanders Family StoreFamily Blog: Flanders Family Home Life (parenting tips, homeschool help, printables) Marriage Blog: Loving Life at Home  (encouragement for wives, mothers, believers) Dealing with Unneighborly NeighborsFULL TRANSCRIPT from episode 72

Hello ​friend. ​

Welcome ​to ​episode ​72 ​of ​Loving ​Life ​at ​Home. ​For ​the ​new ​year, ​I ​want ​to ​tackle ​some ​of ​those ​questions ​that ​have ​been ​piling ​up ​in ​my ​inbox, ​starting ​with ​how ​to ​deal ​with ​neighbors ​who ​aren’t ​very ​neighborly. ​

One ​of ​my ​listeners ​sent ​me ​the ​following ​message, ​which ​I’ll ​read ​in ​its ​entirety ​as ​she ​gave ​me ​permission ​to ​do ​so. ​Plus, ​she ​raises ​a ​lot ​of ​good ​points. ​She ​writes:

 Hello ​Jennifer, ​

How ​do ​you ​show ​neighborliness ​when ​your ​neighbors ​and ​fellow ​church ​members ​just ​want ​to ​be ​left ​alone? ​We’ve ​been ​struggling ​with ​this ​for ​a ​long ​time. ​When ​we ​moved ​to ​our ​rural ​community ​a ​few ​years ​ago, ​only ​two ​families ​welcomed ​us, ​including ​my ​in ​laws. ​

It ​has ​taken ​consistent ​effort ​and ​willingness ​on ​our ​part ​to ​stop ​by ​people’s ​houses ​when ​we ​see ​that ​they’re ​home ​to ​even ​meet ​our ​other ​neighbors. ​And ​some ​pretty ​obviously ​don’t ​want ​to ​be ​bothered. ​Others ​are ​more ​open. ​A ​couple ​of ​little ​old ​ladies ​didn’t ​even ​know ​we ​had ​moved ​in, ​so ​we ​felt ​a ​bit ​better ​about ​the ​lack ​of ​reaction ​to ​our ​arrival. ​

​Over ​the ​summer ​we ​started ​hosting ​a ​monthly ​open ​house ​with ​potluck ​dinner. ​We’ve ​seen ​more ​neighbors ​that ​way, ​though. ​Interestingly, ​we ​often ​have ​friends ​and ​acquaintances ​from ​farther ​away ​coming, ​which ​wasn’t ​quite ​the ​point, ​but ​perhaps ​we ​can ​disciple ​them ​towards ​doing ​something ​similar ​in ​their ​own ​communities. ​

Don’t ​get ​me ​wrong, ​we’re ​happy ​to ​see ​whoever ​shows ​up, ​and ​we ​believe ​that ​God ​brings ​whom ​he ​will. ​We ​just ​meant ​it ​primarily ​as ​a ​community ​outreach ​to ​our ​neighbors. ​I ​think ​the ​people ​from ​further ​away ​an ​old ​college ​friend ​drove ​over ​two ​hours ​to ​get ​here ​once ​are ​hungry ​for ​community. ​And ​in ​our ​fast -paced, ​tech -heavy ​society, ​social ​media ​fills ​the ​community ​gap, ​but ​it ​does ​a ​poor ​job ​of ​it. ​So ​when ​someone ​takes ​the ​initiative, ​a ​few ​who’ve ​recognized ​their ​need ​for ​community ​outside ​of ​social ​media ​jump ​at ​the ​chance. ​

Many ​who ​are ​unwilling ​to ​come, ​especially ​from ​our ​church ​are ​actively ​involved ​in ​area ​public ​schools, ​so ​they’re ​very ​busy. ​That’s ​good, ​but ​it ​doesn’t ​provide ​much ​opportunity ​for ​discipleship ​or ​evangelism ​which ​they ​think ​is ​the ​preachers ​and ​Sunday ​school ​teachers ​job ​anyway, ​so ​they’re ​confused ​by ​our ​family. ​

[And ​here ​I ​think ​that ​she ​means ​she ​wants ​to ​be ​able ​to ​be ​mentoring ​others ​in ​the ​community ​and ​discipling ​them ​and ​evangelizing ​them. ​But ​she ​also ​might ​mean ​she ​would ​like ​for ​some ​of ​the ​older ​ones ​to ​mentor ​her, ​and ​there’s ​just ​not ​that ​opportunity.] ​Then ​she ​continues:

We’re ​still ​young ​and ​idealistic ​to ​boot, ​so ​a ​vision ​of ​what ​neighbors ​should ​be ​like–maybe ​Mayberry, ​except ​with ​Jesus ​at ​the ​center ​instead ​of ​Andy–may ​not ​be ​feasible. ​But ​we’re ​still ​working ​at ​it, ​despite ​the ​odd ​looks ​and ​occasional ​negative ​comments ​that ​we ​get, ​because ​we ​feel ​very ​strongly ​that ​we ​are ​supposed ​to ​interact ​with ​our ​neighbors ​of ​all ​stripes ​and ​that ​we ​should ​be ​actively ​engaged ​with ​our ​church ​family ​more ​than ​a ​couple ​of ​hours ​a ​week. 

​What ​do ​you ​think? 

​Well, ​I ​love ​what ​this ​sweet ​family ​is ​trying ​to ​do, ​and ​I ​think ​others ​would ​benefit ​from ​adopting ​that ​same ​mindset. ​It’s ​very ​similar ​to ​the ​tact ​that ​my ​husband ​and ​I ​have ​taken ​throughout ​the ​years ​with ​a ​similar ​mixed ​bag ​of ​responses. ​

So ​I ​want ​to ​offer ​encouragement ​and ​share ​some ​of ​the ​things ​that ​we’ve ​learned ​through ​the ​process ​of ​trying ​to ​be ​good ​neighbors, ​even ​when ​the ​people ​around ​us ​are ​not ​instantaneously ​receptive ​to ​that. ​

My ​first ​tip ​for dealing with unneighborly neighbors would ​be ​to…

 1 – Let ​them ​see ​your ​family ​outside ​together.

This ​is ​a ​really ​simple ​way ​to ​handle, ​but ​you’ve ​got ​to ​recognize ​that ​what ​you’re ​attempting ​to ​do ​is ​not “normal” ​by ​today’s ​standards, ​but ​when ​your ​neighbors ​see ​you ​outdoors ​playing ​ball ​with ​your ​children, ​or ​doing ​yard ​work ​together, ​or ​playing ​four-square ​in ​the ​driveway, ​or ​washing ​the ​car ​in ​front ​of ​your ​house, ​or ​walking ​around ​the ​block, ​or ​riding ​bikes ​with ​the ​family, ​or ​interacting ​in ​a ​dozen ​different ​ways, ​it ​will ​begin ​to ​intrigue ​them. ​

And ​it ​will ​also ​offer ​some ​reassurance ​that ​you’re ​not ​just ​putting ​on ​airs ​or ​being ​weird ​with ​them, ​or ​trying ​to ​recruit ​them ​to ​some ​cult ​or ​a ​multi ​level ​marketing ​scheme, ​but ​that ​you ​truly ​are ​different ​to ​your ​core. ​

Matthew ​5:14 ​tells ​us ,

"You ​are ​the ​light ​of ​the ​world. ​A ​city ​set ​on ​the ​hill ​cannot ​be ​hidden." ​

And ​spending ​time ​outdoors ​in ​our ​neighborhood ​interacting ​as ​a ​family ​is ​one ​of ​the ​ways ​that ​we ​put ​this ​verse ​into ​action. ​

As ​you ​live ​life ​visibly ​in ​front ​of ​others ​in ​this ​way, ​it ​gives ​your ​neighbors ​a ​lot ​more ​data ​points ​to ​reference ​and ​they’ll ​eventually ​begin ​to ​accept ​that ​there ​really ​is ​something ​different ​about ​you. ​But ​that ​difference ​will ​likely ​be ​very ​attractive, ​and ​the ​longer ​they ​watch ​the ​more ​accepting ​and ​less ​suspicious ​they’ll ​be ​when ​your ​friendliness ​or ​attention ​is ​turned ​towards ​them. ​At ​least ​that’s ​what ​our ​experience ​has ​been. ​

My ​second ​idea ​for reaching out to unneighborly neighbors would ​be ​to…

2 – ​Cast ​a ​wide ​net.

When ​we ​first ​moved ​to ​Tyler, ​we ​were ​in ​a ​neighborhood ​that ​was ​populated ​with ​young ​families, ​lots ​of ​little ​kids, ​and ​we ​got ​it ​in ​our ​head ​that ​wouldn’t ​it ​be ​fun ​to ​have, an ​Independence ​Day ​block ​party for the ​4th ​of ​July? ​

We ​invited ​all ​these ​families ​in ​our ​neighborhood ​to ​come. ​We ​thought, ​oh, ​the ​kids ​could ​decorate ​their ​bikes. ​We ​could ​have ​a ​bicycle ​parade. ​There are so ​many ​kids ​in ​the ​neighborhood. ​We ​were ​just ​certain ​that ​these ​young ​families ​would ​show ​up ​for ​the ​event. ​

But ​the ​way ​I ​went ​about ​publicizing ​the ​event ​is ​I ​printed ​out ​a ​flyer ​giving ​the ​details, ​and ​I ​posted ​it ​on ​all ​the ​doors ​for ​my ​block ​and one ​block ​either ​side ​of ​ours. ​And ​when ​the ​day ​came, ​it ​was ​not ​the ​young ​families ​that ​showed ​up. ​It ​was ​all ​the ​older ​vets. ​

And ​if ​I ​had ​just ​sent ​invitations ​to ​the ​young ​families, ​I ​would ​have been ​sitting ​in ​my ​yard ​alone ​that ​day. ​But ​because ​I ​cast ​that ​wide ​net, ​I ​had ​a ​whole ​group ​of ​people ​that ​I ​didn’t ​realize ​were ​so ​hungry ​for ​community, ​but ​they ​were. ​And ​every ​year ​they ​looked ​forward ​to ​that ​and ​would ​come ​back ​and ​bring ​their ​lawn ​chairs ​and ​sit ​for ​hours ​in ​front ​of ​our ​yard. ​

We ​did ​do ​a ​little ​bit ​of ​a ​bike ​parade, ​​the ​very ​first ​year (my ​kids ​were ​the ​only ones ​that ​were ​on ​their ​bicycles). ​Everyone ​walked ​around ​the ​block ​and ​one ​of ​the ​vets ​carried ​the ​flag, ​and ​it ​was really nice. ​But ​from ​then ​on, ​we ​just ​would ​sit ​in the yard, and ​I’d ​play ​patriotic ​music, ​and ​we ​would ​simply visit ​with ​the ​neighbors ​and ​get ​to ​know ​them ​better. ​So ​casting ​a ​wide ​net ​is ​how ​that ​came ​about. 

​Also, ​when ​I ​was ​planning ​that, ​I ​did ​discuss ​it ​with ​another ​mom ​that ​lived ​in ​the ​neighborhood. ​And ​she ​told ​me, ​she ​gave ​me ​some ​very ​good ​advice. ​She ​said, ​if ​you ​just ​ask ​people ​to ​come ​to ​your ​house, ​you’re ​not ​going ​to ​have ​a ​lot ​of ​people ​show ​up ​because ​they ​don’t ​want ​to ​be ​an ​imposition. ​Maybe ​they ​don’t ​have ​their ​plans ​nailed ​down ​enough ​to ​RSVP ​in ​advance, ​and ​they ​don’t ​want ​to ​show ​up ​at ​the ​last ​minute ​and ​find ​that ​you ​prepared ​for ​a ​certain ​number. ​And ​now ​they’ve ​augmented ​that. ​

But ​she ​said, ​if ​you’ll ​just ​ask ​them ​to ​bring ​something, ​you ​know, ​ask ​them ​to ​bring ​a ​bag ​of ​chips ​or ​a ​2 -liter ​soda –we ​only ​drink ​water ​at ​our ​parties ​now, but ​back ​then, ​I ​took ​her ​advice–and ​people ​would ​bring ​sodas ​or ​chips ​or ​something ​to ​contribute ​to ​the ​meal. ​

And ​she ​said ​that ​will ​get ​you ​a ​lot ​more ​people ​than ​if ​you ​just ​provide ​everything, ​even ​if ​it’s ​not ​expensive ​and ​you ​could ​easily ​provide ​it. ​Ask ​them ​to ​bring ​something ​and ​they ​will show ​up. ​

Which ​this ​reader ​who ​wrote ​and ​said ​she ​was ​having ​a ​potluck ​meal ​now ​in ​her ​neighborhood, ​and ​she’s ​getting ​to ​know ​some ​of ​her ​neighbors ​that ​way. ​That ​was ​very ​smart ​because ​she’s ​asking ​them, ​just ​bring ​a ​dish ​and ​we’ll ​all ​share ​and ​get ​to ​know ​each ​other. ​Which ​I ​think ​is ​a ​great ​plan.

​ ​Another ​thing ​we ​did ​to ​reach ​out ​to ​our ​neighbors ​was ​at ​Christmas ​time ​we ​would ​carol ​and ​we ​would ​just ​post ​a ​little ​notice ​on ​everybody’s ​door ​saying: Our ​family ​or ​a ​group ​of ​family ​and ​friends ​are ​going ​to ​be ​in ​the ​neighborhood ​caroling ​tonight. ​And ​if ​you’d ​like ​for ​us ​to ​drop ​by ​your ​house, ​please ​leave ​the ​light ​on–the ​porch ​light ​on–and ​we’ll ​know ​to ​stop ​by ​and ​sing ​for ​you. ​

And ​so ​that ​made ​it ​real ​easy. ​We ​didn’t ​have ​to ​stop ​and ​knock ​on ​a ​bunch ​of ​doors ​where ​people ​weren’t ​home ​or ​they ​were ​hiding ​out ​in ​the ​den ​because ​they ​didn’t ​want ​to ​come ​to ​the ​door, ​they ​were ​dressed ​for ​bed ​or ​didn’t ​want ​to ​open ​the ​door ​after ​dark ​to ​strangers ​or ​whatever ​the ​case ​is. ​We ​would ​just ​go ​to ​the ​houses ​with ​the ​lights ​on. ​And ​that ​was ​a ​great ​way ​to ​do ​that. ​

In ​some ​years, ​we ​would ​pull ​a ​wagon ​full ​of ​hot ​cocoa ​and ​share ​that ​with ​the ​people ​who ​came ​to ​listen ​to ​us ​sing. ​Other ​years ​we’d ​bring ​little ​candy ​canes. ​I ​had ​a ​little ​candy ​cane ​gospel ​that ​we ​would ​attach ​to ​our ​candy ​canes ​and ​pass ​that ​out ​to ​everybody ​who ​came ​to ​the ​door ​to ​listen ​to ​us ​sing. ​

Sometimes ​they ​would ​have ​gifts ​for ​us. ​They ​would ​bake ​cookies ​and ​share ​cookies ​or ​hot ​apple ​cider ​with ​the people ​who ​were ​singing. ​And ​that ​was ​always ​a ​nice ​treat. ​So ​that’s ​how ​we ​handled ​it ​at ​Christmas ​time. ​

And ​then, ​the ​longer ​we ​lived ​in ​a ​neighborhood, ​the ​more ​we ​got ​to ​know ​the ​people ​around ​us, ​the ​more ​things ​we ​planned ​throughout ​the ​year ​for ​them. ​And ​I ​began ​having…. ​There ​were ​a ​lot ​of ​ladies ​in ​my ​neighborhood ​that ​their ​kids ​were ​grown ​and ​maybe ​some ​of ​them ​even ​had ​grandkids. ​And ​so ​I ​would ​have ​a ​mother/daughter/granddaughter ​brunch ​at ​Valentine’s, ​or ​when ​it ​was ​time ​to ​go ​back ​to ​school ​and ​invite ​everybody ​to ​come ​visit ​for ​that ​and ​bring ​their ​granddaughters. Or ​some ​of ​them ​would ​bring ​nieces ​or, ​you ​know, ​I ​made ​it ​clear ​on ​the ​invitation ​again ​that ​I ​was ​putting ​up ​on ​everybody’s ​front ​door ​that ​even ​if ​you ​came ​alone, ​we ​just ​wanted ​to ​be ​able ​to ​fellowship ​together. ​And ​the ​longer ​we ​lived ​in ​this ​particular ​neighborhood, ​the ​more ​response ​we ​had ​to ​things ​like ​that. ​

Now ​I ​know ​that ​this ​listener ​mentioned ​that ​when ​she ​moved ​into ​her ​neighborhood, ​only ​two ​people, ​one ​of ​whom ​was ​her ​in-​laws, ​came ​to ​even ​acknowledge ​that ​they ​had ​moved ​in. ​And ​I ​think ​we ​have ​moved, ​let’s ​see, ​1, ​2, ​3, ​4, ​5, ​6, ​7, ​maybe ​8. ​Eight ​times ​in ​our ​life.

And ​only ​once, ​only ​one ​neighborhood, ​did ​the ​neighbors ​come ​out ​of ​the ​woodwork ​to ​welcome ​us. ​We ​had people ​dropping ​by ​every ​other ​afternoon ​with ​browies ​or ​cookies ​or ​a ​potted ​plant ​or ​candles ​or ​tea ​towels ​or ​just ​coming ​to ​introduce ​themselves. ​And ​it ​was ​really ​delightful. ​And ​it ​did ​feel ​a ​little ​Mayberry-ish ​in ​that ​particular ​neighborhood. ​

But ​everywhere ​else, ​we ​either ​got ​no ​acknowledgement ​when ​we ​moved ​in ​or ​maybe ​one ​or ​two. ​You ​know, ​maybe ​the ​person right ​next ​door ​would ​come ​over ​and ​say, ​”Hey, ​welcome ​to ​the ​neighborhood.” ​Which ​was ​also ​nice. ​

And ​so ​I ​don’t ​think ​that ​that ​was ​a ​big ​aberration ​to ​just ​have ​two ​people. ​At ​least–​I ​mean, ​we ​live ​in ​the ​south ​and ​people ​are ​very ​friendly ​in ​the ​south, but ​that ​has ​not ​been ​my ​experience. most ​of ​the ​time, ​is ​to ​have ​every ​neighbor ​show ​up ​on ​your ​porch ​introducing ​themselves. ​Usually ​I’m ​really ​grateful ​if ​one ​or ​two ​do ​that, ​so ​I ​wouldn’t ​feel ​bad ​about ​that. ​

But ​if ​you ​know ​how ​much ​that ​means ​to ​you ​when ​people ​do ​acknowledge ​that ​you ​move ​in, ​Keep ​an ​eye ​on ​your ​neighborhood ​and ​on ​the ​moving ​vans ​that ​come ​in ​and ​out ​and ​the ​houses ​that ​sell ​and ​be ​sure ​to ​be ​one ​of ​the ​ones ​who ​welcome ​the ​new ​people ​on ​the ​block ​when ​they ​show ​up. Even ​if ​it ​weren’t ​done ​for ​you, ​you ​can ​be ​the ​kind ​that ​does ​that ​for ​them. ​

Then ​my ​third ​tip ​for dealing with unneighborly neighbors would ​be ​to…

3 – Invest ​in ​those ​who ​do ​show ​up.

Keep ​praying ​for ​and ​keep ​inviting (but ​not ​pressuring) ​those ​who ​don’t ​come. ​Like ​tacking ​the ​little ​notice ​on ​their ​doors. ​I ​don’t ​skip ​doors ​in ​my ​neighborhood. ​I’ll ​just ​put ​it ​on ​everybody’s ​doors. ​And ​some ​years ​they ​can ​come, ​some ​years ​they ​can’t. ​Sometimes ​people ​acknowledge ​it, ​and ​sometimes, ​I ​never ​hear ​from ​them, ​but, I ​do ​keep ​casting ​that ​net. ​

But ​my ​focus ​is ​on ​the ​people ​that ​actually ​show ​up. ​Focus ​on ​the ​ones ​that ​accept ​your ​invitation. Even ​if ​it ​is ​a ​college ​friend ​who ​lives ​two ​hours ​away. That ​listener ​who ​said ​that ​God ​will ​bring ​whomever ​He ​will, ​is ​100% ​right ​about ​that. ​And ​we ​want ​to ​be ​grateful ​for ​the ​people ​that ​do ​show ​up ​and ​never ​take ​those ​for ​granted ​or ​ignore ​or ​marginalize ​them ​in ​order ​to ​keep ​chasing ​after ​people ​who’d ​rather ​be ​left ​alone. 

​Instead, ​just ​trust ​that ​God ​will ​bring ​those ​who ​need ​to ​be ​there ​in ​his ​perfect ​timing.

And ​closely ​related ​to ​this ​is ​be ​sure ​that ​you’re ​responding ​to ​bids ​for ​attention. ​When we ​first ​moved ​to ​Tyler, ​I ​had ​some ​dear ​older ​neighbors ​who ​would ​come ​and ​bring ​me ​their ​World ​Magazine ​every ​week. ​And ​I ​didn’t ​realize ​for ​years, ​really ​until ​it ​was ​too ​late, ​that ​that ​was ​a ​bid ​for ​attention, ​that ​I ​should ​have ​invited ​them ​over ​for ​dinner ​and ​done ​some ​of ​the ​things ​that ​I’ve ​done ​as ​an ​older ​person. ​I ​should ​have ​recognized ​that ​they ​were ​looking ​to ​be ​friendly ​and ​responded ​better ​to ​that. ​

I ​was ​always ​very, ​very ​grateful ​and ​would ​visit ​with ​them ​on ​the ​porch. ​But I ​really ​dropped ​the ​ball ​on ​reciprocating ​that ​bid ​for ​attention ​and ​I ​regret ​it ​now. ​So ​I ​would ​encourage ​you, ​if ​you ​do ​have ​somebody ​that ​extends ​a ​courtesy ​to ​you, ​be ​sure ​that ​you ​are ​reciprocating. ​If ​they ​bring ​you ​a ​plate ​of ​cookies, ​return ​that ​plate ​to ​them ​with ​some ​brownies ​on ​it. ​Or ​if ​they ​have ​you ​over ​tea, ​invite ​them ​over ​for ​lunch. ​And ​just be ​sure ​to ​have ​this ​back ​and ​forth. ​

I ​know ​that ​when ​I ​was ​growing ​up, ​we ​had ​some ​very ​dear ​next ​door ​neighbors ​that ​were ​so ​good ​to spend ​time ​in ​our ​home. ​And ​we’d ​go ​to ​their ​home, ​and ​my ​mom ​and ​that ​woman ​would ​visit ​back ​and ​forth ​a ​lot. ​Even ​though ​they ​were ​not ​that ​close ​in ​age, ​they ​really ​benefited ​from ​one ​another’s ​friendship. ​

And ​I ​know ​that ​after ​that ​couple ​had ​passed ​away ​and ​new ​neighbors ​came, ​mom ​was ​always ​a ​little ​sad ​that ​she ​didn’t ​have ​that ​same ​kind ​of ​reciprocal ​friendship ​between ​her ​neighbors ​after ​that. 

And ​then ​my ​fourth ​tip ​for dealing with neighbors who aren’t very neighborly would ​be ​to…

4 – ​Look ​for ​needs ​that ​you ​can ​meet. ​

Shovel ​the ​snow ​off ​the ​steps ​of ​your ​elderly ​neighbors ​or rake ​their ​leaves. ​Share ​your ​magazine ​subscriptions, ​like ​my ​neighbor ​did ​with ​me ​for ​so ​many ​years. ​Bring ​a ​meal ​to ​someone ​who ​is ​sick ​or ​shut ​in ​or ​is ​recovering ​from ​surgery ​or ​has ​a ​new ​baby. ​

But ​also, ​you’ll ​need ​to ​be ​willing ​to ​accept ​help. ​Sometimes ​it’s ​even ​beneficial ​if ​you’ll ​ask ​for ​help. ​Borrowing ​a ​cup ​of ​sugar ​is ​a ​classic ​way ​of ​asking ​for ​a ​small ​favor ​from ​a ​neighbor. ​That ​kind ​of ​opens ​that ​line ​of ​communication ​so ​that ​you ​can ​both ​feel ​comfortable ​meeting ​needs ​as ​they ​arise. ​

Proverbs ​27:10 ​tells ​us, ​

"Better ​is ​a ​neighbor ​who ​is ​near ​than ​a ​brother ​who ​is ​far ​away."

​And ​so ​you ​want ​to ​establish ​that ​kind ​of ​a ​relationship ​where ​you ​can ​call ​on your ​neighbor ​in ​a ​pinch, ​and ​they ​feel ​comfortable ​doing ​the ​same ​with ​you. ​

Also, ​it’s ​important ​to ​be ​considerate. ​There’s ​a ​lot ​of ​things ​that ​your ​neighbor ​might ​like ​that ​they’re ​not ​going ​to ​come ​right ​out ​and ​say, ​so ​be ​sure ​you’re ​keeping ​your ​yard ​tidy ​and ​you ​don’t ​make ​excessive ​noise ​late ​at ​night ​or ​early ​in ​the ​morning, ​and ​that ​you’re ​being ​a ​good ​neighbor ​to ​them ​in ​every ​way possible. 

​I ​wrote ​a ​post ​several ​years ​ago ​that ​shares ​a ​lot ​more ​of ​the ideas ​and ​strategies ​we’ve ​used ​over ​the ​years ​to ​try ​to ​be ​good ​neighbors ​ourselves, ​which ​I’ll ​link ​in ​the ​show ​notes ​with ​a ​couple ​of ​other ​related ​books ​and ​articles. ​So ​check ​those ​out ​if ​you ​want ​to ​dig ​deeper. ​

Loving ​your ​neighbor ​is ​serious ​business. ​Jesus ​said ​it ​was ​the ​greatest ​commandment, ​second ​only ​to ​loving ​God ​with ​all ​your ​heart, ​soul ​and ​mind (see ​Matthew ​22:36 ​-39). ​And ​if ​it’s ​if ​that ​important ​to ​Him, ​then ​it ​should ​be ​important ​to ​us ​as ​well. ​

Thanks ​for ​joining ​me ​today. ​I’ll ​talk ​to ​you ​again ​next ​week. 

The post EP 72: Dealing with Neighbors Who Aren’t Very Neighborly appeared first on Loving Life at Home.

My Top 10 Posts of 2024

In January every year, I like to look back and see which of my posts received the most traffic over the previous 12 months. Doing so helps me better understand what content most resonates with my readers. It also allows me to share my top 10 posts of 2024 with anyone who might be curious to spot the same kind of trends I’m looking for.

Top 10 Posts of 2024

Of the posts I published last year, the following 10 enjoyed the most traction:

10. How to Find Lasting Happiness (Episode 29)

Why does happiness elude so many people who search for it? If you’ve ever wondered how to find lasting happiness, this episode of Loving LIfe at Home is for you.

9. How to Get Stuff Done (Episode 32)

In this podcast I pull back the curtain on habits that have helped me be more productive over the years. I hope you’ll find them helpful for getting stuff done, as well.

8. Taking Every Thought Captive

I received a message from a fellow mother-of-many last year asking if I could publish a list of verses on taking every thought captive. Here’s the one I compiled.

7. Bible Memory Tips (Episode 28)

Memorizing Scripture is one of the most worthwhile activities we can devote our time to. It enriches our lives and packs powerful spiritual, mental, physical and emotional benefits . If you’d like to prioritize Bible Memory in this new year, the tips and tricks I share in today’s podcast will help you do it.

6. Marriage to a Difficult Man (Episode 66)

Several years ago, I read a book entitled Marriage to a Difficult Man. I felt a little self-conscious toting it around with me at the time, lest anyone assume it was a how-to book rather than what it actually was: a biography of the famous 18th-century revivalist preacher Jonathan Edwards in relation to his very patient and supportive wife.

I had a similar concern in publishing this episode, which offers advice to a reader looking for help dealing with what she calls a “Jekyll and Hyde” husband, as I have no first-hand experience dealing with anything that extreme.

5. A Prayer for the Lost

If you’ve been around here for long, you know I love creating free printable prayer guides. So after receiving several requests for help in praying for unsaved friends and family, I came up with this Prayer for the Lost.

4. How to Build a Happy Marriage (Episode 34)

In Episode 34 of The Loving Life at Home Podcast, we’re discussing the #1 Rule for building a happy marriage. Can you guess what it is? Listen in to find out (or click through the link to read the transcript).

3. A Prayer for the Church

You can pray this for individual members in your local congregation, or for the universal Christian church that unites all believers. Either way, as we pray for the church, we should keep in mind the church is not the building in which we worship, but the people who meet inside it.

2. A Prayer for Sons

Our sons must navigate a world that is littered with landmines. Radical feminists hate men and try to pin on them the responsibility for everything wrong in the world. Schools medicate boys to curb their energy and make them more manageable. They are being exposed to easily accessible and increasingly graphic porn at younger and younger ages whether they are intentionally looking for it or not.

Clearly, our boys need prayer! Which is why I designed this free printable Prayer for Sons. It touches on several of the areas I’m most concerned about for my own sons. I hope you’ll find it helpful in interceding for yours, as well.

1. Can a Married Woman Have Male Friends? (Episode 39)

How should husbands and wives navigate individual friendships with the opposite sex? That’s our podcast topic this week, prompted by an email I got from a reader wanting to know, “Should a married woman have close male friends?” 

If you examine that list closely, you may notice the same trends I do:

50% of the top 10 posts are overtly Christian40% of the top 10 posts are related to marriage40% deal with self-improvement 30% contain a free printable prayer guide10% deal with parenting issues and

If you consider my most popular posts of all time, the list stacks up a little differently, but the underlying themes remain the same:

My Top 10 Posts Overall:5 Must-Read Books for Women Who Think25 Ways to Communicate RespectPray for Your Husband from Head to ToeCan a Married Woman Have Close Male Friends?Praying Boldly for MyselfPraying for Your Children from Head to ToeParents Need Prayer TooPraying for Adult ChildrenWhat If My Husband Won’t Plan Date NightsTen Things Your Teenager Hates

These all-time most popular posts touch on many of the same topics as the Top 10 list from 2024:

50% of these top 10 posts are overtly Christian50% contain a free printable prayer guide40% are related to marriage40% deal with the topic of parenting and10% are about books I’ve read

Which means those are the topics I’ll continue to address on this blog. Expect more prayer guides, more posts (and podcasts) on the topics of marriage and motherhood, and more book reviews going forward.

Anything else you’d like to see me cover? Drop a line in the comment section below and tell me about it! Then subscribe to my weekly email updates to make sure you don’t miss a thing going forward.

Get Sunshine in Your Inbox

Would you like more marriage and motherhood tips, printable prayer guides, and other great ideas for building a strong, happy, healthy home?

Then sign up for my weekly newsletter, Flanders Family Freebies. I’ll send you a different themed link list of free resources delivered directly to your inbox every Wednesday morning!

The post My Top 10 Posts of 2024 appeared first on Loving Life at Home.

EP 71: The Power of Prayer

There is great power in prayer, and Christians should take care to never neglect this amazing privilege and vital discipline. That’s why God commands us to “pray without ceasing.” (1 Thess. 5:17)

What’s more, God will always answer our prayers — though not necessarily in the manner we hope or expect.

Listen in today as we discuss prayer on the podcast: what we should think about it and how we can cultivate a more vibrant, biblically-grounded prayer life.

Show NotesVERSES CITED:1 Thess. 5:17 – “Pray without ceasing.”Psalm 139:13-16 – “For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother’s ….”Matthew 9:35 – “Jesus went through…healing every disease and sickness.”John 9:39 – “…the blind will see and those who see will become blind.”Mark 2:9-12 – “Which is easier, to say to the paralytic, ‘Your sins are forgiven’; or…'”Isaiah 55:8-9 – “‘For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways….”John 9:2-3 – “Who sinned, this man or his parents, that he would be born blind?”James 5:14-15 – “Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders…”James 4:2 – “You have not because you ask not.”Matthew 7:7 – “Ask, and it shall be given to you; seek, and you shall find….”RELATED LINKS:Our Daily Lifeline  – pray hardest when it’s hardest to prayA Good Reminder – if you pray only when you’re in trouble, you’re in troubleFree Printable Prayer Guides -a full listing of all the free prayer guides we offerThe Complete Collection – includes my prayer guides and other related resourcesThe Power of PrayerFull transcript for Episode 71

Hello, Friend. Welcome to Episode 71 of the Loving Life at Home Podcast. I’m so glad you’re here!

Today I want to discuss one of the most important disciplines a Christian can develop, but one that, sadly, is often neglected in the lives of believers – and especially so when everything seems to be going smoothly.

I’m sorry to say, that is true of me, as well. I do pray daily, no matter what else is going on in my life. But when things are going well, those prayers often lack the intensity or sense of urgency or depth of soul searching that they naturally take on when I or someone I love is in the middle of a hardship.

Have you ever heard the saying, “Pray hardest when it’s hardest to pray?” I don’t think this necessarily means we should pray hardest when we’re in the most trouble.

You see, most people find it pretty easy to pray when they need God to get them out of a tight spot. I know I do. Don’t you?

For me, this quote means that I need to pray hardest when I’m exhausted or excited or angry or anxious or annoyed or busy or behind or distracted.

Being busy. Distracted. Behind. Those last few are particularly hard ones for me.

That’s one reason it so inspires me to read the thoughts and perspectives of great prayer warriors like:

George Muller, who said: “Four hours of work after an hour of prayer will accomplish more than five hours of work without prayer.”Or Martin Luther, who wrote: “Work, work from early until late…. I have so much to do that I need to spend the first three hours in prayer.”Or Charles Haddon Spurgeon, who observed: “We should pray when we are in a praying mood, for it would be sinful to neglect so fair an opportunity. We should pray when we are not in a proper mood, for it would be dangerous to remain in so unhealthy a condition.”

For these men, prayer was a daily lifeline. And it should be for us, as well. As fitting and appropriate as it is to call upon God from the foxhole, prayer should really be our first and natural response in all of life’s circumstances:

When we’re awed by His works, we should praise Him.When we’re struck by His greatness, we should worship Him.When we’re encumbered by doubts, we should trust in Him.When we’re ensnared by sin, we should confess to Him.When we’re weary and careworn, we should lean on Him.When wisdom is needed, we should ask of Him.When brimming with joy, we should sing to Him.When weighed down with grief, we should cling to Him.When honored, we should magnify Him.When humbled, we should hide in Him.When burdened for the lost — as we all need to be — we should plead for His unfailing mercy.When blessed beyond measure — as each of us are — we should thank Him for His unmerited grace.

An attitude of constant prayer is a distinguishing mark of the mature Christian, which is why we are commanded to “pray without ceasing” (1 Thess. 5:17). I don’t know who said it, but it is definitely true: “If you pray only when you’re in trouble, you’re in trouble.”

Over the years, I’ve published more than three dozen free printable prayer guides.  All the prayers are drawn straight from scripture and formatted in a visually appealing way.

I have prayers designed to help you intercede for your spouse, for your children, for your parents, for your friends, for your enemies (since praying for your enemies is exactly what Jesus commands us to do), for the sick, for the lost, and many more.

And I get requests all the time for new prayer guides. Just today, one reader sent me a message just today that said:

“I need special prayers for: Sisters, Brothers (Siblings), the Blind, and Special Needs Kids…”

Well, I’ll try to honor that request, just as I’ve honored many others. But I’d also like to make it clear that these free printable prayer guides are just meant to be a starting point. Prayer isn’t a one and done undertaking.  I never intended my guides to be rote prayers you recite then abandon the conversation.

Because that’s what prayer is meant to be: a conversation. God speaks to us through His Word, and we answer back through prayer. And He wants that line of communication to remain open at all times, which is why He bids us to “pray without ceasing” or “pray continually.”

But, in addition to hearing from readers who want specific prayer guides I haven’t thought to create on my own, I sometimes hear from folks who take issue with something I’ve included in my prayers. Which always takes me aback, since I take great care to align my prayers with the clear teaching of scripture.

One such instance involves something I wrote in my prayer for an unborn baby. This prayer guide includes many of the things my husband and I earnestly prayed for all twelve of our children before they were born.

And, since we firmly believe it would be better never to be born, than to spend eternity separated from God, our fervent prayer that God would draw our children to faith from an early age took precedence over every other request — including prayers for our babies’ health.

Of course, God is the one who knits each baby together in its mother’s womb and watches over its every stage of development, as we read in Psalm 139:13-16. So, in the section on health, I suggested parents should pray that, if it please God, He would give their child good health and a strong body.

And that is the phrase my reader took issue with. She wrote:

You said “If it would please him, God would give your child good health.” THAT IS UTTERLY AND ABSOLUTELY WRONG STATEMENT! (sic) JESUS died to take away our diseases and sickness away… IT IS HIS WILL TO GIVE GOOD HEALTH TO EVERYONE!

She said a few more things in addition to that, but the crux of all her arguments was that God does not intend for any of us to be sick and that, if we all had sufficient faith, we could all enjoy perfect health.

While I agree that God does ultimately intend to bring an end to all sickness and disease — and to death, as well — the Bible teaches that His primary concern is our spiritual health.

It was our sin that sent Jesus to the cross, not our physical infirmities.

To be sure, Jesus cured all manner of sickness and disease while He was on earth. He made the lame to walk, the deaf to hear, and the blind to see, as we read in Matthew 9:35 and John 9:39.  

But He also forgave sin, which — as is made clear in several of these passages — He considers the weightier, more pressing issue. He asks the pharisees in Mark 2:9-12,

“Which is easier, to say to the paralytic, ‘Your sins are forgiven’; or to say, ‘Get up, and pick up your pallet and walk’?  But so that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins”—He said to the paralytic,  “I say to you, get up, pick up your pallet and go home.”  And he got up and immediately picked up the pallet and went out in the sight of everyone, so that they were all amazed and were glorifying God, saying, “We have never seen anything like this.”

Does God still have the power to heal? Absolutely He does!

Does He always choose to exercise that power on our behalf? No, He obviously doesn’t — even when we pray earnestly for Him to do so.

Why is that? We can only guess. His thoughts are higher than our thoughts and His ways higher than our ways, as Isaiah 55:8-9 reminds us.

Do you remember what the disciples asked Jesus when they saw the blind man in John 9:2?” They wanted to know, “Who sinned, this man or his parents, that he would be born blind?” They assumed the blindness must be some kind of punishment from God.

But what was Jesus’s response?  ““It was not because of his sins or his parents’ sins,” Jesus told them. “This happened so the power of God could be seen in him.” (John 9:3)

You see, God had a purpose for that man’s affliction that went far beyond those disciples’ understanding.

Well, that’s a very timely reminder for me, since I recently found out I have breast cancer. Of course, I’d certainly love for God to heal me completely from that so that I don’t ever even have to think about surgery or radiation or chemo, much less endure it.

When I first received the diagnosis, my husband gathered the children around me, anointed my head with oil, and then asked our pastor to come pray over me, too, per the instructions given in James 5:14-15, which reads,

“Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord; and the prayer offered in faith will restore the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up, and if he has committed sins, they will be forgiven him. Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.”

Interestingly, most of the prayers that were offered up for me in the days immediately following my diagnosis were asking God to give me peace, to calm my fears, to let me feel His presence, to give my doctors wisdom, and to keep the cancer from spreading beyond my lymph nodes.

All important prayers, to be sure, and prayers that God has been so very kind and faithful to answer – although I won’t know for sure about the last one until after my upcoming MRI. ( It was originally scheduled for January 9 but just got moved up to tomorrow, so continued prayers appreciated for that )

However, my husband has been reading the book of Acts lately and began to feel convicted that he should be praying not just for peace and strength and wisdom, but for my complete healing, as well. After all, James 4:2 tells us “You have not because you ask not.”

So yesterday, Doug asked all the children once again to join him in laying their hands on me and praying for my complete healing.

I think sometimes we are hesitant to give voice to such prayers – to say them out loud — even if that’s the cry of our innermost heart, because we don’t want to get anybody’s hopes up (including our own) only to be disappointed. Or we fear that we will somehow diminish God in the eyes of our loved ones if we make a request that He doesn’t grant.

But Jesus said, “Ask, and it shall be given to you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened to you.” (Matthew 7:7)

I deeply appreciate all the prayers being offered up on my behalf. I’ve heard from so many friends and family members and blog readers and podcast listeners and Instagram followers that they are praying for me and putting me on prayer lists and sharing my situation with their Sunday School classes and prayer teams and coworkers. It means so much to me.

But those bold prayers my husband and children prayed over me yesterday will always have a special place in my heart.

And the wonderful thing is that, no matter what the outcome, God will have answered our prayers and granted me the desire of my heart.

If, miraculously, they scan my breasts and find my tumors have shriveled up and disappeared– praise God! He will have answered these most recent prayers and healed me of cancer.

If the scan shows the tumors have grown and inoperably metastasized to all my vital organs, then there’s a good chance God is going to grant another prayer I’ve been praying for years – that He would take me home early rather than letting me live long enough to dishonor Him.

It is always so sad to me to read of great men of faith that go off the rails in their old age, like Solomon, who was considered the wisest man who ever lived. Yet in his later years, he abandoned the LORD and worshipped idols. Which is so sad.

And Solomon’s fall wasn’t an isolated case. It seems to be a recurring theme throughout the ages. I could list many examples – both historical and contemporary – of believers who were at one time very devout, very on fire for Jesus, very outspoken pillars of faith, but who eventually grew cold or turned away or denied the very God they’d spent so many years serving and proclaiming to others.

I NEVER want that to be my testimony! And for years I’ve told my children that, even if God takes me home early, if I remain faithful to the very end, they should be grateful to know He answered this most earnest prayer of my heart.

Of course, that’s the opposite extreme from complete healing – although in heaven, I’ll get the benefit of both – so there’s that to look forward to, as well.

But, barring a miraculous physical healing in this life or a more rapidly impending death than expected, then I’m probably looking at having to endure the same kind of treatment countless other women with breast cancer have dealt with before me: lots more tests, surgery, hormone therapy, radiation, chemotherapy, or some combination of any or all of the above.

Yet, even in that case, God will still be answering one of my most earnest prayers – and that is that He would allow and enable me to live out my faith before others – and especially before my children — in such a compelling way that it would bolster their own faith.

Well, I’ve enjoyed what many would consider – including myself — a very blessed life so far. There have been ups and downs, to be sure, but overall, I feel like God has graciously kept me snug and secure in the palm of His hand and has mercifully spared me many of the difficulties I’ve watched friends and family members go through.

But, sadly, a comfortable, care-free, easy life is not normally what draws one closer to God nor sinks one’s roots most deeply into His Word. A lot of times, it isn’t until a fierce storm hits that all the extraneous fluff and trappings and distractions finally get stripped away and our attention becomes laser-focused on what truly matters – which, first and foremost for me, is my relationship to God, my faith in His Word, my reliance on His strength, and my testimony to those who know me.

I want others – and especially my own kids and grandkids – to know that not only do I trust God completely and affirm His goodness through every tempest and trial He sends my way, but that they can do the same – and SHOULD do the same.

And if watching my example through a difficult season of life can make it easier for them to weather their own storms and overcome their own struggles and carry their own cross with the same kind of unwavering faith in God that MOM has? Then whatever suffering may lie ahead of me will be worth it, a thousand times over.

That’s all I’ve got for now. Lord willing, I’ll be back again next Monday with another episode. I hope you’ll join me then.

The post EP 71: The Power of Prayer appeared first on Loving Life at Home.