Jennifer Flanders's Blog, page 20

Praying for Adult Children (Free Printable)

Anybody who has known me long knows that I’m a huge believer in the power of prayer. God’s Word encourages us to “pray without ceasing.” (1 Thessalonians 5:17) It urges us to “come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” (Hebrews 4:16)

So that is what I try to do.

When faced with trials or worries of any kind, I want prayer to be my first response, not my last resort.

I want intercession and thanksgiving and praise to be my default reaction. The song of my soul. The habit of my heart.

My past thirty years of child training have provided me with ample opportunity to practice praying. To bring before God requests big and small. To beg of Him the wisdom and strength and patience I naturally lack, but desperately need to parent the children He has placed in my care.

I pray, not only on my own behalf, but also on behalf of my children — that God would meet their needs and mold their hearts and make them into the men and women He meant them to be.

My prayers do not stop when my children leave home. Rather, they multiply.

Over the years, I have printed a lot of free printable prayer guides on my blog for for people to use in praying Scripture over their spouses, their children, their parents, their pastor, their country, etc. Look back far enough and you’ll find:

Praying for Your Marriage
31 Scriptures to Pray over Your Husband
Praying for Your Husband from Head to Toe
Praying for Your Wife from Head to Toe
Praying for Your Children from Head to Toe
Praying for Your Unborn Child
Praying for Your Teens
Praying for Yourself
Praying for Your Parents
Praying for Your Pastor
Praying for Revival
Praying for the Sick
Praying for Students
Praying for America

But recently, a reader wrote and asked if I’d please publish a prayer plan for parents of adult children, as well. It’s truly an oversight I hadn’t done that already.

So today I’m sharing some of the prayers my husband and I have voiced for our adult offspring over the years.

A Prayer for Adult Children:

I’ve divided these requests into sections that form an acrostic—A.D.U.L.T.—to make them easier to remember…

A is for Attitude

We pray the Lord will give our grown children a spirit of gratitude (Hebrews 12:28). A heart that’s inclined to rejoicing (Philippians 4:4). And a mind that dwells on the positive: the good, the lovely, the noble, the true, the praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8). We pray they’d adopt an outlook on life that is perpetually sunny in that it stays perpetually focused on the Son, the Light of the World, the Lord Jesus Christ (John 12:46).

D is for Diligence

We pray God would give our children a heart to work hard (1 Corinthians 15:58). That they’d be disciplined and dependable in discharging whatever duties He assigns to them (Ephesians 2:10). That they’d do their work heartily—as unto the Lord (Col. 3:23)—and cheerfully, without grumbling or complaining (Philippians 2:14). That they’d invest their time, talents, and resources wisely (Psalm 90:12). That they’d be faithful, competent, and compassionate laborers (Psalm 112:4-5), doing whatever God calls them to do with excellence and integrity (Titus 2:7-8).

U is for Understanding

We pray God would give these young adults a spirit of discernment and grant them wisdom beyond their years (Psalm 119:98-100). We pray they will seek hard after the Truth and never forsake it (3 John 1:4). That God would add to their faith virtue and to their virtue knowledge (2 Peter 1:5). That He would give them eyes to see and ears to hear and a heart that is ever attuned to His still, small voice (Deuteronomy 29:4). That they would love His Word and commit it to memory (Psalm 119:97) and meditate on in in the night watches (Psalm 119:48) and seek to live by it every moment of every day (Romans 12:2).

L is for Love

We pray that love would be the defining characteristic of our adult children’s lives (1 John 4:11-12). That they would love God with all their heart and soul and mind and strength, and would love their neighbors as they love themselves (Mark 12:30-31). We pray that Jesus would give them a heart wholly sold out to Him (1 Thessalonians 5:23). That He would help them to follow in His footsteps and learn to forgive (Ephesians 4:32). That He would enable them to love their enemies. To pray earnestly for for those who persecute or despitefully use them (Luke 6:27-28). That He would also teach them — just as importantly — to love those people who irritate, annoy, or rub them the wrong way (Ephesians 4:2).

T is for Testimony

We pray that our grown children will glorify God in everything they do (1 Corinthians 10:31). That they’ll value a good name above great riches (Proverbs 22:1). Renounce pride and hypocrisy and demonstrate the same virtue and moral strength of character in their private lives as they wish to be known for in public (1 Peter 2:1). That they’ll be quick to confess and repent of sin (1 John 1:9), acknowledging their utter dependence upon God for grace, mercy, strength, and endurance to stay the course (Hebrews 4:16). That they would never fail to give all praise and glory and honor to Him (Jude 1:24-25). That their lives will continually point others to Jesus (2 Corinthians 5:15).

Would you like an easy-to-use, printable version of this prayer guide? You can download one for free by clicking on the image below:

[click on image to print]

The post Praying for Adult Children (Free Printable) appeared first on Loving Life at Home.

The Strong Silent Type: What is He Thinking?

It’s no secret that, generally speaking, women talk more than men. According to some studies, the average man utters 7000 words a day, while the average woman uses over 20,000.

My experience as a mother of twelve certainly bears this out. In fact, to me, the gap seemed even more pronounced in childhood.

The language gap is real

Most of our daughters learned to speak early and practiced incessantly. From the moment they opened their eyes each morning until they finally dropped off to sleep every night, they were constantly chatting about something—and expecting me to listen and comment on their every random thought.

Trying to keep up with them was both mentally and physically exhausting.

Most of our sons, on the other hand, were the strong, silent type. Although they are very articulate as adults, back when they were babies and toddlers, they frequently resorted to grunts, groans, and sign language to get their point across.

Yet that doesn’t mean their little brains weren’t busy — keeping careful watch over the world around them, taking everything in, working hard behind the scenes to piece it all together.

Silent is not the same as indifferent

This fact is beautifully illustrated by something that happened in our family many years ago. As a toddler, our son Joseph barely spoke at all. So you can imagine our surprise when, one night over dinner at El Chico’s, he took the pacifier out of his mouth long enough to point at his baby sister and state emphatically, “Mommy! Mommy! Bekah hazzuh knife! She cud choke!”

Then, after sounding this alarm, he replaced the plug and didn’t utter another word for three weeks.

We eventually came to realize that, if Joe has something important to say, he’ll say it. But we also learned that he is far more likely to talk when he knows we are listening. He’s never been keen on shouting over the crowd to be heard.

I think there are some good lessons to be learned from all this, especially in regards to our Christian walk.

God is at work, even when we see no evidence

Have you ever felt that God is silent? Perhaps you’ve prayed and prayed about a matter, but haven’t received an answer.

Please be assured that this perceived silence does not mean God isn’t busy, keeping careful watch over the situation, taking everything in, and tirelessly laboring behind the scenes to work everything together for your good and His glory.

He is the blessed controller of all things. Truth, wisdom, and understanding can be found only in Him. And He does, in fact, have a lot of important things to say.

But, like my son, He is not always willing to shout over the crowd to be heard. If communion with God is something you desire, you’ll need to slow down, lay aside all your distractions, diversions, and mindless amusements, and spend plenty of time in prayer and in pouring over His Word.

If you do this consistently, you may be surprised at just how much God has to say.

The post The Strong Silent Type: What is He Thinking? appeared first on Loving Life at Home.

Still Honeymooning

Last month, my husband and I took a weekend trip to Orlando, Florida. We were there to attend a bloggers’ convention, and we went all by ourselves. Just the two of us. Completely alone.

This was the first vacation we’ve taken without children in 31 years (unless you count one overnight marriage retreat where -– ironically — we were assigned to separate, gender-segregated dorms). We’ve always had at least one child tagging along with us on every get-away, and usually half a dozen or more.

The last time we had a completely unchaperoned vacation was on our honeymoon. Which, as it happens, we also spent in Orlando. So this past weekend felt a little like traveling back in time, in more ways than one.

First of all, my sister cross-stitched the sweetest little “Just Married” badges for us to wear on our original trip. We hang those things on our Christmas tree as keepsake ornaments every year, so I knew exactly where to find them for our return flight.

I added a hand-painted ribbon that read “31 years” under each badge, then proudly affixed one to my own blouse and pinned the matching button on my husband’s shirt before we headed to DFW.

Doug wore that dainty badge through two crowded airports and aboard both our flights, responding graciously to all the congratulatory comments and curious questions of flight attendants and fellow travelers who wanted to know more about his ornately festooned lapel. That’s just one more reason I love my sweet husband: He’s such a good sport!

Second, we were without a car in Orlando both times we visited. Although the honeymoon package we bought included a rental car, neither of us was allowed to drive it. Doug had a valid driver’s license but wasn’t old enough; I was of age but had let my license expire (why renew in April when I’d have to change it again after the wedding in August?). So we we ended up taking a shuttle to our hotel and eating the majority of our meals at a Denny’s across the parking lot.

It was memorable.

This time around, we used a taxi/Uber to get back and forth from the airport, but otherwise stuck fairly close to our hotel again. Although we never spotted a Denny’s (and therefore had to forgo those Grand Slam breakfasts we enjoyed before), we took all our meals on the premises and never ventured out further than our own feet would carry us.

There was a third way this trip reminded us of our former visit. My dear father, bless his heart, volunteered to drive us to the airport for our honeymoon trip. When he swerved across five lanes of busy traffic and jumped a median to get us to our gate on time, Doug and I gripped our seats and watched our lives flash before our eyes.

We’re a little older now, and it takes a little longer to mentally review the whole of our existence, but we experienced a similar feeling this trip, too, only it wasn’t the driver doing the swerving. It was a deer.

A big buck darted right in front of Doug’s truck on Loop 49 as we were driving home from DFW late Sunday night. By God’s merciful grace, we survived the collision unscathed, though the truck and the deer did not fare so well.

If I’m honest, I have to admit that being separated from our children left me feeling unsettled all weekend, but this accident on the way home cemented my resolve not to make a habit of leaving them behind.

I firmly believe that every married couple needs to regularly spend time together apart from their kids. But you don’t have to fly halfway across the country to get it. If you’re intentional about it, a good lock on the bedroom door works just as well.

[For a list of “date night” ideas you can enjoy without leaving home, follow this link.]

That strategy has kept our marriage strong for 31 years now.

If my husband and I don’t get another weekend away without children until the last of them is grown and gone, that is fine by me. I won’t feel like I’m missing out at all – not when I can throw that latch and get a daily dose of his undivided attention at home.

The post Still Honeymooning appeared first on Loving Life at Home.

Science: 9 Smart Reasons for Having Babies

French President Emmanuel Macron has come under criticism lately for his remarks on fertility and childbirth.

“Present me the woman who decided, being perfectly educated, to have seven, eight or nine children,” Macron challenged, implying that no woman in her right mind would choose to have so many.

I don’t believe the President of France was intentionally trying to slight smart mothers of large families; I think rather he is prejudiced and ill-informed.

Presiding as he does over a first-world country where the average household size is only 2.3 people, Macron may assume families with upwards of four or five times that many members are backward or benighted.

That is simply untrue.

Thanks to #postcardsforMacron, though, he has now learned that highly-educated women with mega-sized families do exist.

Those Instagram posts have beautifully demonstrated an important point: Many smart women consciously choose to have a lot of children. I’d like to take the conversation one step further and show that having a lot of children is one of the best choices a smart woman can make.

I’ve written before about the unexpected blessings of big-family living. Today, let’s discuss the scientific advantages to having many times the average number of children.

9 Science-Backed Benefits to Birthing a Big Family

Note: To view a summary of the following information in infographic form, please scroll to the bottom of this post.

Cellular Rejuvenation

A woman’s body changes in significant ways each time she carries a baby, and I’m not just talking about her bulging belly. Thanks to a process called microchimerism, being pregnant actually leads to the repair of damaged tissues in mother’s bodies on a cellular level. That’s like having a full-body makeover — from the inside out — every time you’re expecting!

Mental Acuity

Birthing lots of babies has been linked with a lower maternal incidence of dementia. While the relationship may not be causal in nature, studies suggest that women who spend more of their lives pregnant are less likely to develop Alzheimer’s (researchers have noted a 5.5% decrease in risk per month of pregnancy).

Marital Stability

Having a large family is protective of your marriage. Statistically speaking, the greater the number of children, the lower the risk of divorce. Not only is the presence of young children in the home one of the strongest predictors of marital stability, but sociologists tell us that the older a couple is when their last child leaves home, the better chance their marriage will survive.

[To view the scientific advantages to prioritizing sex in marriage, follow this link.]

Breast Health

While hormonal contraceptive use and abortion increases a woman’s risk for breast cancer, having babies — and breastfeeding them — lowers the incidence significantly. Researchers report that for every year a woman spends breastfeeding, her risk of breast cancer drops by 4.3%. (After having nursed a dozen babies for nearly two years apiece, my own chance of getting breast cancer is virtually non-existent.)

[To view more health risks associated with hormonal contraceptive use, click here.]

Cancer Prevention

In addition to decreased incidence of breast cancer, studies have shown that “women who breastfeed multiple children for a combined total of 31 months or more reduce their risk of ovarian cancer by 91%.” Pregnancy is protective, too: Research suggests that women who give birth to 10 or more children enjoy a reduced risk of ovarian and endometrial cancers, as well.

[To read 10 things to do while breastfeeding, follow this link.]

Deceleration of Aging

The number of children a woman bears slows down the rate at which her body ages. According to researchers, the more surviving children she births, the longer her telomeres (the protective endcaps on DNA strands associated with aging). Whether or not her apparent age is affected, bearing children does benefit a mother’s biological age.

Delayed Menopause

Both pregnancy and breastfeeding can prevent ovulation, leading to a greater stock of follicles later in life and affecting the timing of menopause. The more pregnancies a woman sustains and the more babies she breastfeeds, the longer the onset of menopause (and all its attendant changes and challenges) may be delayed.

Increased Longevity

Multiple studies have shown that married women who have three, four, or five or more children enjoy a significantly lower mortality rate than those with two or fewer. In other words, having more children is associated with living a longer life. “In no instance was higher parity significantly associated with higher mortality risk.”

Social Security

Decreased fertility and dwindling birthrates portend deeply troubling problems for societies world-wide, including labor shortages, top-heavy populations, and economic collapse. That’s why countries like Germany, Austria, Denmark, Sweden, and even France have begun paying couples to procreate. Smart women who choose to have a lot of children are simply ahead of that curve.

Maybe President Macron regrets making hasty and unwarranted assumptions about the educational credentials of mothers with large families. Perhaps he remains unconvinced and still believes we must have a loose screw to willingly do what we do.

Personally, I’m grateful for Macron’s overgeneralizing remark — or, at least, I’m glad for the public response to it. I love the fact that the vast majority of mothers who took issue with the President’s comment did so in such a gracious and respectful way.

[For tips on responding positively to negative comments on family size, click here.]

It has been fun to scroll through the pictures of all their huge and happy families. And I’ve been encouraged to glimpse a sampling of all the brilliant women out there who’ve chosen to devote their time, talents, and energy to raising the next generation. Well done, Mamas. Keep up the good work!

The post Science: 9 Smart Reasons for Having Babies appeared first on Loving Life at Home.

A Blogger’s Prayer (Free Printable)

It has been months since I’ve posted anything on this blog. Not because I couldn’t think of anything to say — that’s rarely a problem for me — but because some sly and crafty hackers took over my site last spring and started redirecting all my traffic elsewhere. Arggh!

So I took a break.

Visitors couldn’t read anything I’d written, anyway. They might spot a pin or tweet or update to let them know I’d posted something new, but when they tried to click through and read the article, they were re-routed to a spam site.

That was disheartening, to say the least.

Undoing the Damage

Yet God is faithful. With lots of help through lots of prayer over lots of time, we finally ousted those lazy cyber-thieves, scrubbed the site clean, and tightened security so that — in the final analysis — my blog is now better, faster, and safer than ever before.

But it was a long, painstaking process.

I’ve always viewed my writing, first and foremost, as a ministry. This blog has allowed me to reach into the homes of millions of people from all over the world, not only to share my heart with them, but to point them to Jesus. This awesome privilege carries with it a responsibility I don’t take lightly.

That’s why I bathe my blog in prayer and try to back up so much of what I write with supporting Scriptures.

[click image to print]

Ann Voskamp calls this upside-down blogging and reminds us that “every great victory begins on the knees.”

My husband echoes that sentiment. “If the Lord is in it,” Doug often tells me, “He can bless your blog without your burning the candle at both ends. If not, then all your work is in vain, anyway, because nobody will ever read it.”

Praying for God’s Guidance & Blessing

Do you know what? My husband is absolutely right. It’s only by God’s blessing that any of our endeavors meet with success, which is why God deserves all the glory when that happens.

God gives us life, and we should use that gift to glorify Him.
God gives us the Bible, and it should undergird everything we do.
God gives us Jesus, and we should do our best to point others to Him.
God gives us natural abilities, and we should use our talents to further His kingdom.
God gives us mentors, and we should learn all we can from their successes and failures.

(To learn how 40 professional bloggers grew their highly successful blogs, download this free eBook.)

So that is where this blog is coming from. If you’re into blogging, too, I recommend you begin with prayer, as well.

To facilitate this, I offer you a 31-Day Blogger’s Prayer Guide. It was originally intended for bloggers, but, as you can see, the prayers are appropriate for speakers, teachers, and writers of any vein.

In fact, even our normal, everyday conversations would benefit from these same Scriptural principles. So I invite you to pray along with me:

A Blogger’s Prayer
Lord, may everything I write (or say)…


tell the truth.

Do a little fact-checking before you hit the send or publish button. Make certain what you’re about to share is true. “Truthful lips will be established forever.” (Proverbs 12:19)

reach those who need to hear.

Your posts don’t have to be read by the masses to be successful. If your words can encourage one person who is weary or comfort one who is grieving or challenge one who has grown complacent, that should be enough. “He who has ears to hear, let him hear.” (Luke 14:35)

honor God.

Those of us who claim the name of Christ have a responsibility not only to glorify Him in all we do, but to accurately represent Him to the world around us. “Whether then you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” (1 Corinthians 10:31)

be seasoned with grace.

We live in a society that doesn’t seem to give much thought to speaking graciously. Yet this should be just one more trait that sets Christians apart. “Let your speech always be with grace…so you will know how to respond.” (Colossians 4:6)

offer encouragement.

There are enough people in the world trying to tear others down. Let your words offer hope and encouragement, instead. “Encourage one another & build up one another, just as you are doing.” (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

point others to Christ.

Not only is Jesus the way, the truth, and the life, but He is our best and only hope. “I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ & Him crucified.” (1 Corinthians 2:2)

reflect Your love.

Love should be the distinguishing mark the Christian’s life: both love for others and love for God. “May the Lord direct your hearts into God’s love and Christ’s perseverance.” (2 Thessalonians 3:5)

show compassion.

Put yourself in others’ shoes and try to see things from their perspective. “…be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate & humble.” (1 Peter 3:8)

be rooted in Your word.

We need to be well-versed in Scripture. Memorize it, meditate on it, and let it sink into your innermost being. “Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom…” (Colossians 3:16)

be full of wisdom.

God promises to grant wisdom to all who ask, so make that request boldly and often. “The heart of the wise teaches his mouth and adds persuasiveness to his lips.” (Proverbs 16:23)

edify those who read it.

We should use all our gifts — including our writing ability — to build up and better those around us. “So then, let us pursue what leads to peace and to mutual edification.” (Romans 14:19)

come from a humble heart.

God resists the proud and gives grace to the humble, so don’t get a big head or act like a know-it-all. Maintain a teachable spirit. “You’ve heard the desire of the humble; You will strengthen their heart.” (Psalm 10:17)

not distract me.

This is a biggie. I’d much rather write than fold laundry or wash dishes, yet we can’t use blogging as an excuse to neglect the chores that keep our homes running smoothly. “She looks well to the ways of her household & doesn’t eat the bread of idleness.” (Proverbs 31:27)

be useful.

I want to right things that are helpful from both a spiritual and a practical standpoint. “The more you grow, the more productive & useful you will be in your knowledge of Christ.” (2 Peter 1:8)

be written in integrity.

Be the same person online that you are in real life (and vice versa!). Always write with honesty and authenticity. “He who walks in integrity walks securely….” (Proverbs 10:9)

cast out fear.

Don’t be afraid to proclaim hard truths. Write with courage. “God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7)

be accurate.

Make sure everything you write is accurate. Be fair and true. Don’t fudge on facts to make a point. “Be diligent to present yourself approved to God… accurately handling the word of truth.” (2 Timothy 2:15)

be motivated by love.

We should make it our goal to always and only speak (and write) the truth in love. When we are motivated by love, our words take on a timbre that cannot be achieved in any other way. “…if we love one another, God abides in us, and His love is perfected in us.” (1 John 4:12)

lift up the downtrodden.

Use your platform to speak up for the less fortunate. Defend those who cannot defend themselves. “Don’t let the downtrodden be humiliated again….” (Psalm 74:21)

be bold.

Tenaciously cling to the truth and proclaim it with boldness. “Pray that I may be able to speak boldly as I ought to speak.” (Ephesians 6:20)

arise from pure intentions.

Check your motivations. What do you hope to gain by blogging? “…love that comes from a pure heart, a clear conscience & a sincere faith.” (1 Timothy 1:5)

be full of mercy.

God has shown us great mercy. We should extend the same to others. “Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.” (Luke 6:36)

show firmness of faith.

Cast away double-mindedness; remain faithful and true. “Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong.” (1 Corinthians 16:13)

give hope to the hopeless.

Our hope does not lay in political reform or social programs or any other institution of man. Our hope lies completely in Christ, and we should direct others to put their trust wholly in Him. “Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing…” (Romans 15:13)

strengthen the weak.

Write in a way that gives strength to those who need it most. “Encourage the exhausted, and strengthen the feeble.” (Isaiah 35:3)

promote peace.

Don’t stir up discord unnecessarily. While you needn’t shy away from conflict when it arises, neither should you go looking for it. “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” (Romans 12:18)

offer reproof.

Never compromise the truth. Call sin sin and pray that God would draw those who practice it to repentance. “Preach the word…reprove, rebuke, & encourage with every form of patient instruction.” (2 Timothy 4:2)

embody kindness.

Show kindness, courtesy, and respect to everyone with whom you interact, whether they extend to you the gentle manners or not. “Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.” (Colossians 3:12)

keep an eternal perspective.

We must seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness…“Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth.” (Colossians 3:2)

comfort the afflicted.

There is a lot of misery and tribulation in this dark world. Comfort those who suffer as God gives you opportunity. “…comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” (2 Corinthians 1:4)

fulfill its purpose.

Be faithful to use the gifts God has given you wisely, and He will be faithful to use your obedience to accomplish His will. “…it will accomplish what I desire & achieve the purpose for which I sent it.” (Isaiah 55:11)

The post A Blogger’s Prayer (Free Printable) appeared first on Loving Life at Home.

3 Life Lessons I Learned from My Father

It has been nearly 12 years since I lost my dear Daddy to cancer, but the wonderful life lessons he taught me live on, alongside a heart full of fond memories. What follows are a few of my favorites, reposted from the archives in honor of Father’s Day.

It was a stupid thing to do. That much is obvious.

Normally, I would have spent recess swinging or sliding or riding on the merry-go-round. But that day, I sat alone at the edge of the playground holding my new ring, admiring the way it caused the sunlight to dance in my hand.

The ring was a birthday gift from my parents — a tiny diamond (April’s birthstone) set in the center of a small gold flower.

I was seven at the time — too young for anyone to have mistaken it for an engagement ring — but my mother still insisted I wear it on my right hand.

Only that day at recess, I wasn’t wearing it at all. I was playing with it. I was playing a game I called “Digging for Buried Treasure.”

First, I’d bury my little ring in the sand, then I’d dig, dig, dig until I found it. Then I’d bury it a little deeper, and dig a little longer until I uncovered it again.

And so the game continued: the ring was lost, then found, then lost, then found, then lost… then the bell rang.

Frantically I searched as my classmates lined up to march back inside the school building, but to no avail.

The teacher called my name, tapped her foot, pointed to her watch, jerked her thumb toward the double doors behind her.

I tried to explain why I couldn’t possibly leave. Not now. Not yet. But she insisted, and I spent the rest of the day distraught and distracted in my little school desk, staring out the window and wondering if I would ever see my beautiful ring again.

When the final bell rang that day, I ran home in tears to tell my mother what had happened.

She listened to my hysterical cries and did her best to calm and comfort me. “Just wait until your Daddy gets home,” she soothed. “He’ll know what to do.”

Father Knows Best

And he did.

With eyes full of compassion, he tenderly took my hand and led me back to the school yard.

As we walked together, he didn’t scold. He didn’t lecture. He didn’t tell me how foolish I had been or how easily I could have avoided this situation or how it would serve me right if I never got the ring back.

He didn’t grouse or grumble or complain.

Instead, he acted as if he’d been waiting all day for a chance to come home and dig in the sand with his little girl. All I sensed was love and sympathy and a stubborn determination to find what was lost.

The playground sprawled across a good two acres, much of which was covered in 4-5 inches of sand. Daddy asked me to point out the general vicinity where I’d been playing, then told me to hunt there. But instead of digging beside me, he strolled to the nearest entrance and began combing through the sand with his fingers.

Slowly, systematically, he worked his way toward me, all along the retaining wall, sifting the sand as he went.

After about twenty minutes of digging, he uncovered a cut stone, but it was too big to be mine, so he kept searching.

Another ten, twenty, thirty minutes passed. The sun was sinking low on the horizon. But Daddy kept looking. Patient. Persistent. Unperturbed.



Then, just as it was growing too dark to search any longer, the last grains of sand fell through his fingers to reveal my beloved ring!

Lost and Found

My father had the most beautiful smile — pearly white teeth with a small gap between the top two. The light was too dim and my eyes too flooded with tears for me to see his smile that night. But I could hear it in his voice as soon as he called my name. And I knew.

He had found what was lost.

He had accomplished what he’d set out to do. And my heart was filled to bursting with gratitude for that Daddy of mine.

My father wasn’t perfect. Like all parents, he sometimes made mistakes. His patience occasionally wore thin. There were plenty of times that I got the lecture (or other appropriate discipline) I so well deserved — dished out with love, to be sure, but without such obvious compassion.

But on that balmy night of yore, he was as perfect as a Daddy can get.

I cannot tell you how often I’ve reflected on that scene from my childhood, for my father’s pivotal response affected me in many unforeseen and far-reaching ways:

It affected the way I approach my problems:

My father’s calculated response impressed on me how important it is to remain calm and collected, even (and especially) during times of upset and stress. My frantic and random pawing at the ground earlier in the day had been completely ineffectual. Daddy’s slow, methodical approach took time, but yielded the exact result I was hoping and praying for. Daddy showed me that cool heads prevail, a lesson I’ve carried with me into adulthood.

It affected the way I parent my children:

I don’t remember everything Daddy ever said to me growing up, but I remember how he made me feel: Loved. Esteemed. Cherished. And I’ve done my best to communicate those same things to my own children. Sometimes I fail. Sometimes I fall short. But the example my father — and my mother — set for me has made it much easier to be a good parent myself. I can model what they did with full confidence that 98% of it was right and good.

It affected the way I perceive my Heavenly Father:

They say that children tend to view God in the same way they view their dad. Perhaps that is true. My earthly father was wise, benevolent, and completely trustworthy, so it has never been difficult for me to trust implicitly in the wisdom, goodness, and faithfulness of my Heavenly Father. My dad’s loving response to my lost ring has given me confidence to boldly approach the Throne of Grace with other burdens and requests, great and small (including another diamond I lost forty years later). And that’s a rich heritage, indeed.

It was an incredible blessing to have the father I had. I know that’s not been the case for a lot of people. Many children growing up today do not even know their father, much less enjoy such a close relationship with him. Others have had negligent or abusive dads. That grieves my heart. It makes life much more difficult for them, but it does not leave them without hope.

Unfailing Love

Having a good father may make it easier to understand and accept the goodness of God, but God is good regardless. You can choose to believe what the Bible says about God, even if it varies widely from what you’ve experienced in your home.

God loves you. He cares for you. He is patiently seeking — even now — that which is lost.

As I’m typing these words, I’m praying again, boldly making my request known unto God. (Philippians 4:6)

But this time, dear Reader, I’m praying for you. I’m praying that you will see God for the loving Father He is, and that you will bask in that love, fully assured that He is good and wise and worthy of your complete confidence and trust.

“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” (1 John 3:1)

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38)

“But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name.” (John 1:12)

The post 3 Life Lessons I Learned from My Father appeared first on Loving Life at Home.

In Search of an Encouraging Mentor

Titus 2:3-5 gives a charge I take very seriously. It instructs older women to be reverent in their behavior and to teach what is good, so that they may “encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.”

I’ve been blessed to have many wonderful mentors in my own life, both past and present. In the same way those ahead have poured into me, I want to pour into the ones who come after.

That is one of the primary reasons I began this blog in the first place. To encourage younger women in all these areas. I view my writing as just one more way to pass along the life lessons I’ve learned about marriage and motherhood.

I don’t think we ever outgrow our need for this, but wise and willing mentors are sometimes hard to find. Do you have a mentor? Somebody who can encourage you along life’s way? If you’re having trouble locating one, here are some good places to look:

5 Good Places to Look for a Mentor


Family

The most natural place for me to find a mentor was in my own family. My mother, grandmothers, and aunts on both sides were all great examples in multiple areas of life and were more than happy to share their knowledge and expertise with me. If you are fortunate enough to have godly relatives, don’t be shy about picking their brain when you have questions!

Friends

Most of the time, experience counts for more than age when it comes to finding a good mentor. She doesn’t have to be substantially older than you; if one of your friends is further down life’s road and doing well in an area you want to improve, talk to her about taking you under her wing. Our oldest daughter had a couple mentors while she was in college who weren’t much older than she was, but they had already graduated, gotten married, and had children and were able to provide the counsel and encouragement she craved during that season of her life.

Church

Many churches are treasure troves of wise mentors. Keep your eyes open for older women who have happy marriages, faithful children, and well-organized homes, then learn as much as you can from them. Don’t be afraid to ask questions! While I was in college, I was mentored by one lovely older woman from church who volunteered for the job, but the majority of women who have mentored me over the years required a little coaxing. I’d invite one at a time over for dinner or would take them out to lunch, then show up for our date with a full legal pad of questions to discuss while we ate. They co-operated graciously, and I learned a LOT using that tactic.

School

Schools often assign an academic advisor or guidance counselor to each student, and these can sometimes fill the role of a mentor. This was especially true of the small Christian college my husband and I attended. In fact, one of his philosophy professors was such a good friend and mentor that he ended up serving as a groomsman in our wedding. My husband was an excellent student, and this professor was thrilled to give him extra reading assignments and gladly fielded all the questions my husband threw at him.

Books

Sometimes, circumstances are such that you can’t find a suitable mentor in any of the places I’ve mentioned. Maybe you don’t have any family members worth emulating. Perhaps your friends are as clueless as you are in the areas you find most challenging. Maybe the schools you attended were large and impersonal and your advisor didn’t seem interested in spending any more time with you than was absolutely necessary. Well, there is still one more source that has provided me with wonderful mentors for every challenge I’ve ever faced… books.

I love books, because they allow you to have a conversation with the author without feeling like you are intruding on the valuable time. I’ve learned so much about all those Titus 2 topics — marriage, parenting, homemaking — by reading lots and lots of well-chosen books.

And I keep reading — even now that I’ve moved into that “older woman” category myself. I never want to stop learning, because there will always room for growth and improvement this side of heaven.

Of course, I believe the Bible is the most important book any of us will ever read. That is the book I begin with. Daily. And it is also the book by which I measure all others.

I don’t care how popular a title is or how many bestseller lists it appears on, if its content is not in line with the Word of God, it goes.

That said, one of my favorite places to buy practical books on every facet of family life is in The Ultimate Homemaking Bundle. They’ve released a new edition of this incredible learning library every spring for the past six years, and I’ve bought them all.

This year’s bundle is better than ever. It contains:

62 eBooks
33 eCourses
34 printables
8 bonuses
and 3 membership sites

Altogether these products are worth $3,687.47, but when you purchase the Ultimate Homemaking Bundle, you get them all for just $29.97. That’s a savings of over 98%. But it won’t last long. In fact, if you are interested in this year’s bundle, you have only a few more hours to get it:

Now, to be honest, I’ve never even come close to reading all the books included. But there are always a handful that I’m interested in, and when I add up the cost of buying those few titles individually, it’s obvious I’d be dollars ahead by just buying the bundle instead. So that’s what I do.

Here are the books and courses I plan to tackle first this year:

FINDING TIME: HOME & CHILDREN by sarah phillips

Whether you are just wanting your house to be more organized or are homeschooling thirteen kids, Finding Time: Home and Children can show you how to make your home more than just a dumping ground that overwhelms you to think about. (Value: $97)

DATE NIGHT KITS by the dating divas

This kit promises to help me create a whole year’s worth of romantic and meaningful dates with my spouse. (Don’t tell them, but I’m thinking these will make a great gift idea for my older, married children, too.) Now putting together 12 date nights is a breeze! (Value: $8.97)

CLUTTER: SORTED by chrissy halton

This amazing eCourse will help you to declutter your home and take it from chaos to calm in a simple and step-by-step way. (Value: $67.61)

BRAINBOOK by kalyn brooke

With gentle instruction, encouragement, and down-to-earth advice, Brainbook serves as your go-to bullet journaling guide so you can confidently create a planner that organizes your calendar, lists, notes, ideas, and long-term goals in one place. (Value: $27)

These four resources alone would cost me over $200 if I purchased them all separately, so it makes sense (and cents!) to buy the bundle for a fraction of the price, even if I don’t use anything else in it. (But I will! I’ve already ordered nearly all of the bonuses and have made hard copies of some of the printable resources, as well.)

I’ve always gotten far more than my money’s worth with these bundles, but if you’re concerned it might not be a good fit for you, you should know they offer a 30-day happiness guarantee and will gladly refund your money if you don’t love it as much as I do!

As an added incentive, I’m offering an additional bonus when you buy The Ultimate Homemaking Bundle through my affiliate link:

It includes my ebook, Balance: The Art of Minding What Matters Most, over 120 pages of my most popular organizational printables (save time by downloading them all in one click!), and a digital copy of the customizable day planner I designed myself and have been using all year. It includes monthly and week-at-a-glance calendars, built-in habit trackers, a prayer journal and daily Bible reading plan, plus plenty of space for goal setting, progress charts, book lists, and other notes. I love it and think you will, too!

To claim your extra bonus, purchase a copy of the 2018 Ultimate Homemaking Bundle through this link, then email me a copy of your receipt, and I’ll send you instructions for downloading your bonus files within 24 hours.

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Never Enough (to Sever Jesus’ Love for Me)

Spring is here at last, and I’m so thankful for that fact. This season inspires lots of people to work in their gardens. You can see the beautiful fruit of their labors all over town as bulbs bloom and well-tended shrubs burst into color.

Spring rouses other folks to exercise. I’ve been seeing a steady stream of these go-getters running and jogging and power walking along the sidewalks of our neighborhood for a couple of weeks now.

Spring makes me want to burst into song. All that fresh air and sunshine has always planted a melody deep in my heart. I can envision myself on a mountaintop alongside Julie Andrews, breathing in the beauty of God’s creation and belting out notes from The Sound of Music with all the energy I can muster.

I usually sing hymns or arias, but I’m also fond of show tunes. I admire the talents of the composers and lyricists alike, although I don’t always agree with the messages modern lyrics convey.

That’s why, for the past several years, I’ve channeled my springtime music-making-impulse into writing new words for popular songs and posting them on YouTube. Here’s the one I published this morning, just in time for Good Friday.

[follow this link to view on YouTube: Never Enough ]

It’s a celebration of the great love that compelled Jesus to die on a cross in our stead. The revised lyrics are based upon one of my favorite passages in Romans:

For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

– Romans 8:38-39

Maybe springtime and sunshine and contemplating Christ’s love for us has the same effect on you as it does on me. If so, you can use these words to sing along:

Never Enough

I know neither life nor death,

Neither height nor depth,

Can separate me from

My Savior’s unending love.

Nothing here and now,

Nothing future years may bring

Can make his hand

Loosen its grip on me.

He’ll hold me forever!

All the strength of a thousand armies

All the powers of evil and darkness

Will never be enough —

The victory’s been won!

Satan can try, but he’s too little—

His ruse may woo the world but it’ll

Never be enough

To sever Jesus’ love

For me.

Never, never

Never sever

His love

For me

For me

Never enough

Never enough

To sever His love

For me

For me

For me

All the strength of a thousand armies

All the powers of evil and darkness

Will never be enough —

The victory’s been won!

Satan can try, but he’s too little —

His ruse may woo the world but it’ll

Never be enough

To sever Jesus’ love

For me.

Never, never

Never sever

His love

For me

For me

Never enough

Never, never

Never enough

Never, never

Won’t sever His love

For me

For me

For me

For me

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The Best Marriage Lessons are Taught by Example

We don’t get to see my husband’s parents often, but every time we do, I marvel at how loving and attentive my father-in-law is to his wife. Now in her late seventies, Mom has a lot of health issues, and it is a beautiful thing to behold the patient, protective care Dad gives her in the midst of it all.

Once when we were together, Mom lost her balance while getting out of our van. Thankfully, my father-in-law had hold of her. They both hit the ground, but Dad managed to slow-dance her down in such a gentle, graceful way that she emerged from the mishap completely unscathed.

What could easily have been a fractured hip for her translated into a skinned elbow for him, as he took the brunt of the fall. But we slapped a Band-Aid on it to stop the bleeding, and Dad was as good as new. Crisis averted.

I’m glad my mother-in-law has such a self-sacrificing husband watching out for her. Both for her sake and for mine. I daily reap the benefit of the good example Doug’s father set for him in this area (not to mention the strong work ethic Dad drilled into him from an early age, as well).

I had a similar upbringing: Parents who loved one another, who were deeply committed to the Lord and to their family, who were faithful and honest and did excellent work and expected their children to do the same. They, in turn, were modeling the good example their parents had provided them.

I could not have asked for better role models.

The men were strong, smart and capable, as were the women they married. They treated one another with respect and admiration, stayed true to their marriage vows, and counted it a privilege to build a life and family together.

Of course, not everyone is blessed with such an idyllic upbringing.

The lack of a good example leaves a gaping hole in many folks’ understanding of what, exactly, constitutes a good marriage. At the same time, society has tossed out any kind of Biblical standard as to how husband/wife relationships were designed to work, so now we have the blind leading the blind.

Even more alarming, the blind have started calling good evil and evil good.

In my day, when a man was accused of abuse, it usually meant drunken rages and physical bruises – or something equally shocking, selfish, cowardly, and evil. But by today’s standard, if a man holds the door open for a woman, he’s being sexist. If a husband shows his wife too much attention, he’s controlling. Too little, he’s ignoring her. I’ve even read of one bizarre court case where a husband was charged with battery for working late.

Meanwhile, our society flocks to the theater in droves to see 50 shades of something sinister and calls that love.

Don’t we have it backwards?

Shouldn’t we commend the man who is working hard to provide for his family and condemn the one who is misusing women for his own twisted, selfish gratification?

I guess my point is this: Parents, you may be the only marriage book your children ever read. What lessons will they take with them when they leave home? Please do your best to live before them an example that will set them up for marital success and happiness if they follow it.

And kids, if you were fortunate enough to have witnessed that kind of godly example yourself, emulate it. If not, then resolve to improve upon it.

Either way, don’t listen to society’s upside-down ideas of what true love is. Go instead to the Word of God. The 13th chapter of 1 Corinthians is a great place to start:

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

That’s the kind of never-ending, never-failing, self-sacrificing love Jesus has for us. When it comes to role models, you can’t ask for a better one than that. Isn’t it time we start following His example?

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Refined Taste: Where Do You Go to Get Full?

As much as I would like to sympathize with the parents of picky eaters, most of the feeding problems I have encountered with my own children have tended to toward the opposite extreme. My preschoolers would all eat anything.

We’ve caught them gleaning used chewing gum from beneath restaurant tables, licking smashed gummy bears from the soles of their shoes, and ingesting bugs, worms, or other slimy substances they’ve found buried in our flowerbeds. Yuck! I was glad when they grew old enough to be just a tad more discriminating in their tastes.

I remember one such incident as if it were yesterday, although it was more than two decades ago that it happened. My third-born was about four at the time. One afternoon as I stood at the kitchen sink washing up the lunch dishes, I saw him come through our back door munching on a suspicious looking bread roll.

Not recognizing it as anything I’d ever brought home from the grocery story, I was compelled to ask, “Sweetheart, where on earth did you get that?”

Rustling up some grub

At this, my son smiled broadly, his little eyebrows shooting up in excitement. He hurriedly swallowed the bite in his mouth and answered proudly, “Molly brought it home. It’s good!”

Understand: Molly was the name of our dog. So what my little boy was telling me, between mouthfuls, was that this shaggy, smelly mutt had been digging through our neighbors’ garbage cans (again), found some tasty treat they’d tossed out — how many days ago? — and carted it home for dinner, tail wagging, saliva dripping in anticipation, whereupon she was accosted by my tenacious preschooler, who wrestled the bun away from the dog in order to finish it himself.

Now doesn’t that sound appetizing?

What made it worse was the fact I had served him a hot, nutritious meal just half an hour earlier — which might actually have satisfied his hunger had he not been in such a rush to get back outdoors and play. Moreover, our pantry and refrigerator were both full of fresh, delicious food that would have been his for the asking.

I’m not hungry (for that)

Although I retch at the thought of eating something scrounged from an alley trashcan, I must admit I’ve been guilty of doing something just as bad. How often do I willingly pass up the bountiful table God has prepared for me in favor of something far less savory?

How often do I skip reading God’s Word to scroll instead through social media accounts?
Or trade the peace that passes understanding for sleepless nights of fear and worry?
Or swap the joy of the Lord for annoyed irritability?
Or marginalize the fact that Jesus loves me to chase after the affection and approval of fickle friends?

How often do I despise God’s provision of every good gift to go searching for something that will never satisfy my soul?

Can you relate?

If we could see our actions the way our Heavenly Father sees them – as those of children spurning nutritious, homemade meals to steal soggy morsels from slobbering mutts – perhaps those pilfered delicacies would lose their attraction.

Isn’t it time we rethink our strategy and return to our seats at the Lord’s table, grateful for all He has provided there?

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