Joseph Mallozzi's Blog, page 447

September 13, 2013: If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again! Especially when it comes to chocolate souffles!

Ooooh. Almost…

Akemi has been chocolate souffles lately.  A lot of chocolate souffles lately.  It started the other day with her attempt to recreate a successful chocolate souffle she’d made.

“So, how is it?”she asked as I cracked the hard top, dipped my spoon into the soft chocolate center, and tasted her creation.

“Amazing,”I told her.

“Is it hot?”she asked.

“Well, no,”I said truthfully.  ”Not hot.  But delicious!”

A couple of hours later, she summoned me into the kitchen to sample – yet another chocolate souffle.  ”This one,”she assured me, “Is better.”

I sat down and sampled her second try, this time cutting the richness of the dark chocolate ganache with the, uh, richness of vanilla Haagen-Dazs ice cream.

“Is it good?”she asked.

“It’s great,”I said.

“Is it hot?”she asked.

“Well, it’s warm…”

Fast-forward to dinner.  And dessert: yet another chocolate souffle.

“How is it?”she asked me for the third time that day.

Hey, guess what I had for dessert today?  But I’ve got to be careful.  I think she’s on to me!

In addition to eating chocolate souffles, monitoring my fantasy football leagues, and spending quality time with my dogs, I’ve also been doing a little scriptwriting for a project that, if all goes as planned (which it rarely EVER does), should go to camera sometime in early 2014.  Two weeks since I started and only 38 pages in.  Damn.  After all these years, it still doesn’t get any easier!

September 12, 2013: Whither Stargate?

With the recent news that Roland Emmerich would like to make a second, big screen, Stargate movie, questions surrounding the future of the franchise have again started popping up throughout fandom.

It’s been three years since Stargate: Universe was cancelled and fans want to know: What’s next?  Whither Stargate?

Well in my humble and somewhat informed opinion: Beats me.

But let’s look at the possibilities…

THE BIG SCREEN REBOOT (TWO WAYS TO DO IT)

Look at the re-imagined Star Trek.  Both movies did HUGE business.  And, like Star Trek, Stargate is an established scifi franchise that would undoubtedly wow with a big screen treatment and visual effects budget.  The potential box-office returns could be tremendous!

Or not.  If the summer of 2013 has taught us anything, it’s that Big Budget Star-driven features don’t guarantee success.  The Lone Ranger ($215 million dollar production budget), White House Down ($150 million dollar production budget), Turbo ($135 million dollar production budget), RIPD ($130 million dollar production budget), After Earth ($130 million dollar production budget), The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones ($60 million dollar production budget).  What do the aforementioned have in common?  Yep, you guessed it: Big hopes, Big budgets, and, all of them, Big box office disappointments.  Also, keep in mind that the listed amounts in parentheses are the approximate production budgets which don’t take into account the equally sizeable costs of marketing these movies.  Ouch.

So, it’s clear that “throwing money at it” won’t guarantee a movie’s success. Neither will casting hitherto bankable actors like Johnny Depp and Will Smith.  BUT Stargate is an established property with a pre-existing fan base, so it’s got that going for it. Right?  Well, okay, so did The Mortal Instruments movie but, for argument’s sake, let’s just stick to Stargate for now.  Big budgets aside, the Stargate franchise is much like Star Trek in that it has that built-in SF fan base eager for more.  So it stands to reason that it should follow the Star Trek model and find success as a big screen reboot!

Well, not so fast…

First of all, as proud as I am of everything we accomplished with the Stargate franchise, I’ll be the first to admit it doesn’t have quite the reach or support of Star Trek.  And that’s nothing to be ashamed of.  Sure, we produced three series, two direct-to-dvd features, and some 300+ episodes over 15 years but, while impressive a feat, it pales in comparison to Star Trek’s five series, twelve theatrical features, and some 700+ episodes over 46 years.  As a result, Star Trek’s influence reaches far beyond its fandom – which is important given that, despite its established fan base, Star Trek: Enterprise was cancelled after four seasons.  This is not to minimize the impact of fans but simply to suggest expectations should be tempered.  A robust and passionate fandom doesn’t necessarily guarantee success.  Having said that, however, it’s in instances such as these, where a franchise’s reach may not be as wide-ranging as a Star Trek, that fandom is even more important in a studio’s campaign to “get the word out”.

It’s for this reason that you want to make sure you get fandom “on your side”.  And this is where reboots can get a little tricky.  On the one hand, re-imagining a property offers first-timers the opportunity to get in on the ground floor.  They’re on equal footing with longtime fans in that they don’t need to come in to a movie knowing what has come before.  It’s fresh and new to them as, ideally, it would be to longtime fans.  A new beginning of sorts.  Problems arise when you start distancing those longtime fans, the support crew that could prove an indispensable part of any pre-release online campaign, who may not take kindly to the franchise they’ve come to know and love being messed with.  And, by messed with, I mean…

Ignoring what has come before.

Yes, a fresh start is a great idea when it comes to reaching out to a potential new audience, and while some fans would undoubtedly be pleased with a complete relaunch, many others would no doubt take umbrage with a complete dismissal of established canon.  In some ways, it’s the equivalent to the Bobby Ewing in the shower scene in Dallas.  Remember?  Actor Patrick Duffy decided to leave the series and his character was killed off at the end of the show’s eighth season.   But then Duffy had a change of heart and decided he wanted to come back.  Unfortunately, this wasn’t a scifi show and cloning, time travel, and ascension were not viable options.  So, to address the issue and bring back Bobby Ewing, Duffy’s character makes an inexplicable appearance in the final episode of of the show’s ninth season. His wife hears the water running, walks into the bathroom, and is shocked to see him there, showering.  When season 10 got underway, it was revealed that Bobby never died and that the show’s ninth season was just a dream.  An insanely detailed dream that ran 31 episodes!  Which leads me to wonder how that ninth season performs in syndication and alternate media purchases (i.e. downloads). Anyway, my point is that a creative clean slate could hurt rather than hinder a reboot’s prospects as it slams shuts: a) the book on beloved characters and b) the door on the faces of longtime fans.

On the other hand, instead of a complete reboot, the studio could opt for a reboot that makes use of established characters – which is what Star Trek did.  We are presented with  a new version of long-established characters – Kirk, Spock, McCoy – but the potential to piss off longtime fans is minimized because the story takes place in an alternate universe.  So, quite literally, fans can have the best of both worlds. The new adventures don’t undo what has come before.  Fans will, of course, have a preference, but both versions can happily co-exist without trumping one another.

Of course, one could argue that the reason this type of reboot worked for Star Trek is that, while these classic characters have long been engrained in the SF consciousness, it’s been almost twenty years since we’ve seen them onscreen in a new adventure.  In the case of Stargate, well, it’s been about two years since we last saw Jack O’Neill grace the small screen.  Is it perhaps too soon to expect fans will embrace someone other than Richard Dean Anderson in the role?

A SMALL SCREEN EVENT  (TESTING THE WATERS)

Another possibility is to produce a one-shot Stargate television event that could potentially act as a backdoor pilot for a new Stargate series.  If the ratings are great, the studio can move forward with an all new t.v. series while, if the ratings disappoint, they can cut their losses with this single production.  At first blush, this seems like a great idea.  Creatively, it would allow the franchise to head in a bold, new direction while still paying its respects to what has come before, leaving the door open for established characters to make an occasional appearance and help bridge the gap between old fans and new.  Upon closer scrutiny, however, it becomes clear that a “one and done” deal wouldn’t make much financial sense.  In order to do it properly, especially if it was going to serve as a potential backdoor pilot, $$$ would need to be spent, and broadcast license fees and alternate revenue streams may not be enough to make the venture worthwhile. Like any show, it would be a gamble, but the fact that science fiction requires more of a financial investments makes this even more risky.  At some point, the studio needs to ask itself what would be the better scenario: strike now or wait?  There’s an argument to be made for both.  The fact that the last Stargate episode aired only two years ago suggests the fans are still out there and, if a movie or series is produced sooner than later, one could count on their support – in addition to the potential support of new viewers.  Strike while the iron is hot!  Then again, the ratings for SGU’s final season could suggest viewer fatigue and maybe waiting is advisable.

A CLASSIC STARGATE MOVIE OR MINI-SERIES

As much as I would love to see a television mini-series or movie based on either of the three past Stargates (SG-1, Atlantis, or Universe), this one is the longest of long shots mainly because the sets no longer exist and rebuilding them for a one-time adventure doesn’t make a whole lot of financial sense.  At the very least, if one were going the backdoor pilot route, there is the very real prospect of recouping those upfront expenses in an ongoing series.  Back in the day, the two Stargate direct-to-video features, Ark of Truth and Continuum did VERY well.  But that was before the bottom fell out of the dvd market.  Sadly, a “classic Stargate” miniseries or movie isn’t the slam dunk it used to be.

A NEW STARGATE SERIES

Well, yes wouldn’t that be great?  A new set of characters and host of new adventures with the potential for guest spots from the likes of Rodney McKay, Daniel Jackson, and maybe even Eli Wallace.  A new Stargate-based television might be the best way to go.  After all, while the original movie was successful, it was the television franchise that proved an incredibly lucrative earner for MGM.  But some of the same questions arise.  When should the studio look to put another series in development?  Sooner or later?  Has enough time passed?

LOOKING AHEAD

So, having said all that, what DOES the future hold for Stargate?  Again, I haven’t a clue and I’ve long since accepted the sheer folly of applying logic to Hollywood decision-making.  But, for what it’s worth…

My gut instinct tells me the studio would LOVE to follow the Star Trek model: take an established property, re-imagine it for the big screen, and makes hundreds of millions of dollars.  Of course, it could be argued that that is a very best case scenario.  If the studio does consider going down this route, careful consideration will present two indisputable facts: a) Stargate is not Star Trek, and b) alienating long-time fans in favor of a new audience could prove  disastrous.

As much as I would love to see that Atlantis movie or SG-1 movie or even a mini-series that incorporates elements from all three Stargate shows, this is the unlikeliest of scenarios for the simple reason that the risks far outweigh any potential rewards.

No, given the history of the franchise, it would seem a new television series would be the best way to go – a fresh take on Stargate that would bring in new viewers while rewarding the long-suffering fans.

However, I’m not the one making the call.

In the end, I think there’s only certainty: On the question of Stargate’s glorious return, it’s not a matter of IF but WHEN.

Tagged: science fiction, Science Fiction Television, scifi, scifi television, SF, SF television, SG-1, SGA, SGU, Stargate, Stargate Universe, Stargate: Atlantis, Stargate: SG-1

September 11, 2013: Snow Monkeys win! And lose! Well, this is disconcerting!

My Snow Monkeys relaxing after a hard-won victory. And loss.

Well, one week into the 2013 fantasy football season, and my Snow Monkeys have tasted their first victory AND suffered their first loss of the year.  The win came in impressive fashion, on the very last play of the opening weekend.    Down late, my Snow Monkeys snatched victory from the jaws of defeat with a game-winning field goal from Houston kicker Randy Bollock.  Finale score: Snow Monkeys 121.28 Petunia Power 118.96.  Meanwhile, in my (Stargate) League of Apathy, I lost to the best team in the league – which is small solace considering I have to play them twice this year.  On the bright, next weekend looks much rosier as my Snow Monkeys face off against Ivon Bartok’s Running Dead.  Both teams are in search of a win and, while I have the utmost respect for my opponent, I have no doubt he’ll be coming out on the losing end of this won.  Nevertheless, I do admire his delusional optimism and his desire to “make things interesting”.  He suggested that, if he wins (which is NOT going to happen), I should dedicate an entire blog entry to what a wonderful guy he is.  Sure.  Conversely, I’m thinking it might be nice to take a day off from blogging and having a guest blogger – say, Ivon – come in and write a blog entry about yours truly.  What do you think?

Well, this is disconcerting:

And this:

And this:

And this:

September 10, 2013: Fearless Food! Cotechino!

When I was growing up, my parents would split dinner duties.  On weekdays, my father would handle suppers.  His meals tended to be typically North American (steak, roast chicken) with the occasional classic upscale surprise (Oysters Rockefeller, Duck a L’Orange).  My mother’s weekend meals, on the other hand, consisted of Italian and seafood-themed plates (eggplant parmesan, oven-roasted mussels with potatoes and artichokes).  Both of my parents were Italian.  Both were great home cooks.  But, unlike many fellow Italians, their culinary repertoire never included sausage.  That was something we would eat on those rare occasions when we were gifted them from a friend of a friend’s uncle or neighbor who undoubtedly crafted them, following generations-old recipes, in the basements of their respective homes. And they were always a treat, markedly superior to the standard grocery store sausages and salamis, with their robust flavors and myriad textures: sweet, salty, smokey, sharp, soft, crisp, and juicy.

We used to enjoy a wide variety of these home made salamis and sausages, but one type in particular always stood out.  It was a sausage that only my father and I seemed to fully appreciate its intense pork flavor and lip-smacking sticky-chewiness, the result of the fat studding the meat.  Cotechino, if wikipedia can be believed, originated in early 16th century Italy when citizens, under siege, created cotechino out of necessity.

It’s been years since I had cotechino but, this morning, I was at Bosa Foods in Burnaby, when I happened to spot it in the meat section.  It was a daunting piece of meat, bigger and, frankly, greyer looking than the versions I was accustomed to, but it beckoned me.  As did the guy behind the counter who, no doubt sensing my hesitation, ran me through its simply preparation.  He instructed me to boil the cotechino for 30 minutes, change the water, then continue to simmer for another two and a half hours.  After that, all I had to do was remove the casing, slice it, and enjoy with a side of horseradish.  It seemed simple enough.

And it was!

Fresh out of the packaging, it doesn’t look terribly appetizing, with its pronounced fat deposits .

Into the pot it goes.

And…done? It actually looks worse after it’s been cooked.

I’m sure many of you will disagree, but I think it looks a lot better without the casing (which was quite easy to remove).  And see.  I wasn’t kidding about that fat studding.

Slice.

And serve.

I’m not a big fan of horseradish, so I had my cotechino with three different mustards – none of which worked.  So, instead, I ended up enjoying it au naturel with a side salad and a selection of cheeses.

Akemi tried a bite, frowned, put the rest in my plate, reconsidered, took another bite, frowned, and put the rest in my plate once again. She claimed it was the fattiest thing she’d ever eaten, even outperforming foie gras with its roughly 44% fat content.  Her verdict: “Tastes like diabetes.”

For my part, I liked it.  Although a little goes a very long way.

Tagged: cotechino

September 9, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews The Guyver!

Movie begin wit an opening scroll, just like Star Wars.  Unlike Star Wars, however, opening scroll accompanied by voice-over because Guyver fans either illiterate or too damn lazy to read.  As far as info dumps go, dis be as big a dump as a movie can take.  We learn dat dere be creatures living among us called Zoanoids.  And dey led by a Zoalord.  And dey work thru a company called Chronos Corporation. And Chronos Corporation working on a mysterious someting called De Unit.  And a scientist working on De Unit steal it.  And he be on de run from Chronos Corporation and its various Zoanoid subsidiaries.  Phew. Okay.  We up to date.  Now we can start aktual movie!

Quit smoking wit de cigarette-helmet!

We open on scientist on de run.  Idiots chasing him spot him from top of bridge and yell “There he is!”, alerting him. Dis give him time to hide De Unit.  When bad guys show up, he mutate into…hokey Halloween costume.  Bad guy responds by mutating into…another hokey Halloween costume.  Two “fearsome” creatures face off.  But fangs and claws just for show.  Instead of biting and clawing like most self-respecting monsters, it’s Marquis of Queensbury rules as de creatures exchange punches and occasional kicks to each other’s rubber gonads.  Bad guys win but De Unit nowhere to be found.

Trick or treat!  Oh, trick?  How about de fakt you paid to see dis movie?

CIA agent Luke Skywalker pay visit to scientist’s daughter, a woman who run a judo skool.  He tell her he was about to meet her father when he witnessed him being murdered.  Oh, sure, me suppose he could have hurried over to help or maybe even yelled at de bad guys while dey be killing her dad, but dere be no point in crying over spilt milk.  Or dad blood.  Luke all full of qwestions for her but she not have any answers.  Hell, she barely able to string two sentences together.

Unbeknownst to her, she being stalked by creepy judo student, Sean – but dats okay because Sean be our hero.  One night, he be wandering thru a dark alley, minding his own business, when he get surrounded by what passed for a scary street gang in 1991.  Dey beat him up but Sean end up fusing wit De Unit which he, coincidentally, found and helped himself to while watching a police forensic team search for it.   Sean transform into De Guyver and proceed to beat up and kill gang members while dispensing what passed for wry witticisms in 1991.  In keeping wit crap aktion movie tradition, scene culminate in someone ending up head first in a trash can.

Meanwhile, Agent Skywalker try to console grieving daughter.  He talk about her dad.  She cry.  He console her – and try to move in for a kiss.  Seriously.  Dude.  Her dad just died!  Fortunately, dey be interrupted by friend who drop by.  Agent Skywalker tell dem he will go out and pick up someting to eat – because, presumably, he never heard of delivery – and leave.  While he gone, scientist’s daughter get kidnapped by bad guys.

BUT before bad guys can get away, Sean arrive on de scene.  He reskue scientist’s daughter and dey run away.  Bad guys turn into rubber monsters and run after dem, seguing into agonizingly long chase sekwence.  At one point, Zoanoid end up on movie set and get instruktion from direktor who believe he be aktor in shitty monster costume.  Ha ha!  Joke on direktor.  He aktually a REAL ZOANOID dat just LOOK like aktor in shitty monster costume!

De only ting phonier den dat rubber monster suit be her akting.

Cornered in a warehouse, Sean transform into…De Guyver!  More slapping, punching and kicking.  But Guyver get beaten and unplugged.  He end up deflating faster den Grover’s blow up doll at a Jamaican Sandals resort.

But all not lost!  In a twist you never see coming – because it not make any sense at all – Sean come back to life after scientist’s daughter recover Unit’s control crystal.  How she do dis?  Oh, after being brought back to bad guy’s lab and shown de control crystal, she pick up some handy piece of equipment and send gutless scientists running for cover “Look out!  She might hit us wit dat stapler!”), allowing her time to just help herself.

Sean and De Guyver are back!  And better den ever….uh…back about as good as before.  More punching, kicking, and slapping.  Agent Skywalker mutate into giant cockroach and, in one of movie’s most heartfelt moments, die. his little cockroach head going limp in Guyver’s arms. Dis make Guyver VERY mad and, after defeating various Zoanoids, be beat up and blow up Zoalord.  De end.

But wait!  All bad guys not dead yet.  J.J. from de old Good Times t.v. show and some other guy survived.  Guy tells J.J. he needs him to do someting for him.  And J.J. reply: “Dynomite!”, really nailing what passed for a very funny in-joke…in 1991.

Verdikt: Lots to hate here and it impossible to cover everyting.  Me need second review to cover atrocious music and transitions alone!

Rating: 2 rubber chocolate chippee cookies.

Tagged: Cookie Monster, Cookie Monster film reviews, Cookie Monster movie reviews, Cookie Monster reviews The Guyver, The Guyver

September 8, 2013: The party was subarashii!

Last night’s party was a success.  Everything went as planned, the guests seemed pleased and, most important of all, I was NOT violently ill like that time I had a bunch of people over for home made ice cream, ate thirteen different flavors and ended up very sick.  Less ice cream this time around but a lot more bourbon and hot dogs.

Akemi and Bubba get the bar ready.

Party cutlery!

Japadog parked right in front of the house, dispensing Japanese-themed hot dogs and fielding queries from curious/hungry passersby.

Megan and Tio, the first to arrive – presumably because they wanted first crack at the dogs.

My first of three hot dogs: a jalapeño-chesse stuffed beef smokie topped with Japanese mayo, fried onions, and seaweed.

Wanna bite?

My second hot dog was a kurobuta pork dog and the third, pictured above, was a turkey dog topped with kimchi.

Dessert #1: Pistachio cream cake.

Check out the multi layers.  

And the carrot cake.

Oiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiishi!

Akemi closes things down for the night.

A good time was had by all, especially the dogs who were the center of attention for most of the night.

Then, today, it was off to Rob’s for football and…

Ribs!

Corn bread!

And cole slaw!

I am exhausted.  And a little bummed as my Snow Monkeys look to be heading for a week one defeat – in both leagues. It’s a repeat of last year with my team putting up more points than almost every other team in the league – EXCEPT the team I happen to be playing.!

Tagged: JapaDog

September 7, 2013: News of note!

Tonight, I’ll be hosting a little party for the staff of the Granville Island Veterinary Hospital.  With two hours to go before festivities get underway, I’m doing a final check:

Dinner = Check!  Japadog will be setting up shop in my backyard to serve up their Japanese-inspired hot dogs.

Dessert = Check!  I picked up two enormous cakes, a carrot cake and a pistachio-vanilla cream.

Booze = In addition to my replete liquor cabinet, I’ve picked up some wine and, of course, the accompanying mixers.

Blog = I’m on it!

How did they not see this coming? http://www.cracked.com/article_20566_the-6-most-humiliating-public-failures-by-celebrity-psychics.html

Stroke victim cannot stop helping others after developing ‘pathological generosity’…

24 mind-blowing scenes of science in action: http://www.buzzfeed.com/h2/shfk/generalelectric/24-mind-blowing-vines-of-science-in-action

Get in the car, kids!  We’re going to Boring!

Just in time for the Fantasy Football season: http://postgradproblems.com/the-worst-people-in-your-fantasy-football-league/  I pointed out the similarities of these “types” to some of the guys in my fantasy league – to which Lawren replied: “Huh you seemed to have left out #8 Joe…. why’s that?,  referring to #8 “The loser who won’t stop talking about how he won the championship in 1998″.  FYI –  I won the championship in 2011.

Mmmmm.  Ramen-burger: http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/5-insane-fast-foods-people-are-just-making-to-screw-with-us/

And the #1 drunkest city in America is…http://eater.com/archives/2013/01/04/here-are-the-drunkest-cities-in-america-1.php

Japanese banana art!  http://kotaku.com/japanese-banana-art-is-so-damn-appealing-1170517664

Poochinski!  Now that’s a show in desperate need of a reboot!  The Funniest, Weirdest and Most Ridiculous TV Pilots Ever Produced

September 6, 2013: Oh, this and that!

Yesterday, Akemi hit me with another one of her only in Japanese terms.  ”What do you call a girl who’s always interested in good-looking guys?”she asked me.

“Uh, a girl,“I offered, following the logic that men who are always interested in good-looking women are most assuredly referred to as men.  ”Why?  I suppose the Japanese have a word for it?”

Of course they do.  It’s menkui.  File that one away – along with aware, karoshi, and, my favorite, tsujigiri which is the art of testing out your new sword on random strangers – but you knew that already: http://josephmallozzi.wordpress.com/2013/08/17/august-17-2013-the-japanese-have-a-word-for-it/).

Who’s holding?

Well, just got Lulu’s test results.  They’re… inconclusive.  We’re going to monitor the situation for another week or so and, if there’s no change in the size of the growth on her paw, she’ll be heading in for surgery.

As much as she hated the cone of shape, it did have its uses.  Toy hoarding for one.

I came across this announcement on the Seattle Pug Rescue facebook page yesterday:

“It’s raining rescue pugs in Seattle and we’re near capacity. If you’ve ever considered fostering, now is the time to apply. This is a fulfilling way to help pugs who need a second chance.” (seattlepugrescue).  So, I dropped them an email and offered to help out.  It’s not quite adoption, but pretty darn close.  And, eventually, may well end up being.

Preparations are complete for tomorrow night’s party.  I’ll have the gang from Japadog serving dinner:

And picking up a couple of cakes from Cadeaux Bakery for dessert:

Including my favorite: the carrot cake!

Hopefully, the weather will hold.

Speaking of weather, nothing but blue skies and sunshine from my Snow Monkeys who kicked off their Fantasy Football League season in a big way last night, putting up some impressive numbers.  I’m expecting a great things from these lovable furry varmints this year. No less than another championship – in TWO leagues!

Wait a minute.  What Stargate trilogy?  I mean, don’t get me wrong. It’s interesting, but hardly news.  I believe Emmerich has expressed a desire to make another Stargate movie for quite some time now.  I obviously have mixed feelings about this.  On the one hand, I can sympathize.  The original movie was his baby and its a world he has wanted to revisit for a while now.  On the other hand, a reboot would permanently close the book on SG-1, Atlantis, and Universe – and, by extension, the characters many fans have grown to know and love over the years.  It would be great if we could manage one final grand SG-1/SGA/SGU movie before we begin the re-imagining.

Ultimately, the final decision rests with MGM.  I would hope that, when the time comes to decide on the franchise’s future, those decision-makers would give due consideration to Brad Wright and Robert Cooper who created worlds beyond the original feature, worlds that, in turn, made the studio A LOT OF MONEY.  And I do mean A LOT.  For years, it wasn’t just a part of the MGM television division; it WAS the MGM television division.  And, as far as franchises go, at the time, second only to James Bond.  Obviously, they were doing something right.

As for Roland Emmerich, I know he has gone on record as stating he isn’t a fan of the television series(s) his movie spawned, but I can’t help but think it has less to do with the quality of the show(s) than it does the t.v. franchise’s very existence scuppering any hopes of another big screen sequel to his original.  And, for what it’s worth, he strikes me as a guy with a great sense of humor.  A couple of years ago, he was shooting his apocalyptic feature, 2012, at the Bridge Studios.  Despite being in the neighborhood, he never actually stopped by the set (which is a shame since he would have been more than welcome) but the accounting department did receive this mysterious time slip:

September 5, 2013: Underappreciated comic book characters who need their own t.v. shows!

ANIMAL MAN

He can soar like an eagle, swim like a shark, run like leopard, and eat like a pug! Awesome!

BOOSTER GOLD

A hero who comes from the future, not in search of bad guys, but personal fame and fortune.  Delightfully anti-heroic.

DEADMAN

The ghost of a murder victim is permitted to temporarily inhabit the bodies of the living in order to track down his killer – and run various equally important errands.

DEATHLOK THE DEMOLISHER

A fatally injured soldier is reanimated in a cybernetic body.  Haunted by memories of his past life and loved ones, he soon finds himself on the run from his evil creators.

HITMAN

Pretty much what the title implies.  Our protagonist is an Irish  contract killer with a gift for violence – and some very colorful buddies.

HOURMAN

There are actually two equally terrific versions of the character.  The first is a human addicted to Miraclo, a drug that grants him temporary superheroes.  The second is an android from the 853rd century.  Take your pick.

HOWARD THE DUCK

Yes, I know he already had his shot, but hear me out.  Howard the Duck is a fantastic character and deserved much, much better than that George Lucas turkey. Come on.  Give the duck a break.

IRON FIST

Martial arts and superheroics.  The vest of both worlds.

LOBO

An interstellar mercenary and bounty hunter that Jason Momoa was born to play.

MARTIAN MANHUNTER

Possessing the abilities of telepathy, x-ray vision, flight, super strength, super speed, shape and phase-shifting, and density control ( to name a few), he is Mars’s answer to superman.

September 4, 2013: Free to good home = Bad Mojo!

“Why,”I wondered, “is there a homeless man walking around my backyard?”

I parted the blinds and watched him, in his work boots, ratty jeans and Harley Davidson t-shirt, circle round the side of the house and over to the back gate where he fell into conversation with some guy standing in the alley, on the other side.  I opened the back door and stepped out onto the porch to confront him.  But instead of making a break for it, Harley Davidson smiled, waved, and asked: “Do you have a key to your gate here?”  And then, reading my hesitation: “I’m here to fix the leak in your skylight.”

Oh.  Oooooh.  Right.  The guy was here to fix the leak in my skylight, the latest in a long line of bad luck turns that had started, I realized this morning, as far back as early 2011 – coincidentally, not long after my Tokyo trip with my buddy Ivon.  I had been reluctant to go with him at the time, not because he’s bad company mind you, but because he suffered from notoriously terrible travel luck.  Every time he went away somewhere, some THING happened: earthquakes, accidents, tooth abscesses.  Ultimately, I decided to throw caution to the wind, figuring his travel luck was no one’s business but his own – and our arrival at Narita airpot seemed to bare that out when we were informed HIS luggage hadn’t made the flight.  Beside the inconvenience of having to wear the same outfit two days in a row, however, Ivon experienced no further mishaps on the trip – so I assumed he’d exorcised his travel demons.  In retrospect, I think they merely transferred over to me.

Think about it.  2011.  I end up accepting a job in Toronto and suffering through a The Year from Hell.  And then it was downhill from there in a series of trips, stumbles, and faceplants that, while incredibly frustrating, have certainly made for interesting blog material.

Take today for instance.  Ivon texted to suggest a taco lunch.  Great! The guy had come by this morning to fix the gaping hole in my ceiling so my day was otherwise free and clear.  We agreed on a time and I was about to get ready when Akemi informed me someone was coming to install the new oven between 11:00 and 1:00.  Damnit!  I’d completely forgotten.  So much for lunch.  I texted Ivon back to inform him I was out, then redirected my focus to other matters: fantasy football, my latest script, the suspicious guy skulking about in my backyard.  Close to noon, I receive a call from the oven installer informing me that he won’t be able to make it and will have to push his visit to somewhere between 3:00 – 4:00.  I grab my phone and immediately text Ivon back, hoping to catch him in time.  His response:

I mean, COME ON!!!  If that oven guy had called me twenty minutes earlier, those could have been my sunglasses and car keys sitting beside MY tacos!

Clearly, I have to find a way to foist this bad mojo onto someone else by way of spell, Federal Express, or other means of transferrence.  I can think of at least ten possible worthy candidates.

Any takers?