Joseph Mallozzi's Blog, page 443

October 21, 2013: Not so fast!

Good times.

Hunh.  I spoke to soon.  My Snow Monkeys, who were going down to certain defeat in Stargate Fantasty League play, pulled off an improbable comeback last night, riding the arm of QB Andrew Luck to a rare win.  As a result, my Snow Monkeys are no longer alone at the bottom of the standings.  They now share that distinction with Robert Cooper’s Landsharks.  Now, all they need to do is win 5 of their next 6 games to have a shot at making the playoffs.  In my other, original, league – where my Snow Monkeys earned their first fantasy football championship two years ago – the team stands at a  respectable 4-3.   Maybe all is not lost…

Received some positive feedback from our production partner on the series overview and episode 2 synopsis Paul and I completed over the weekend.  Now, it’s off to the network for approval, notes and, of course, congratulations after which we’ll jump on that first draft.  Or a rewrite of the material we just sent them.  Preferably a first draft.

Meanwhile, received some notes from our other production partner on the series pitch for that SF novel.  Tomorrow morning, Paul and I pitch it to a – hopefully – interested party, then we’ll flying cross-country on Wednesday to do it all over again (twice!) on Thursday.

Some news of note:

Okay, I’m an adventurous eater, but I have to draw the line: http://www.cracked.com/article_20709_9-horrifying-foods-you-wont-believe-people-actually-eat.html

http://www.buzzfeed.com/h2/shfke/adamellis/17-misused-and-made-up-words-that-make-you-rage.  One that didn’t make the list that is a favorite of mine: “For prosperity’s sake!”

New Study Finds Human Beings Were Never Meant To Wake Up From Sleep

Two weeks to Tokyo!

Today’s blog entry is dedicated to PBMom.

October 20, 2013: I Hate Sundays!

I HATE Sundays.  I really do.  I used to love them back in the day when I would get those ice cream deliveries and – oh yeah – my Snow Monkeys were competitive.  Alas, those days are long gone and now, instead of enjoying home made ice cream while watching football, I’m reduced to raiding my chocolate drawer for forgotten pink peppercorn bars and cursing Broncos receiver Demaryius Thomas.  Since the day couldn’t get any worse, I figured it would be a perfect opportunity for me to catch up on my quarterly tax installment payments.  And address some notes to a pitch document we’ll be going out with later this week.

On the other hand, the day was not without its highlights.  There was this -

And this -

Suspicious

And these -

[image error]pugs

October 19, 2013: I don’t mean to complain but…

Well, okay.  Since you asked…

MINAMI RESTAURANT

My sister in Montreal wanted to do something special for my birthday so, after consulting with Akemi, she made reservations for us at one of my favorite Vancouver restaurants: Minami.  In addition to booking  the table, she also sent me a check for way more than the cost of the dinner (forwarding Akemi a to-do list that included: 1) macarons from Soirette, 2) cream puffs and chocolate from Beta 5, 3) chocolate zeppole at Giovane Cafe & Bakery, and 4) gelato at Bella Gelateria).  Oh, and one more thing.  She informed the restaurant of the special occasion.  ”Is someone celebrating their birthday?”asked the hostess who checked us in.  I confirmed this, inwardly cringing at the prospect of being the target of a well-intentioned staff rendition of Happy Birthday (or the legal, non-copyright infringing equivalent).  Then, when we were seated, our waitress asked: “Is it your birthday?”. I re-confirmed – and yet again when another waitress inquired later.

We enjoyed an excellent meal but, throughout, I couldn’t help but wonder what the restaurant had in store for me on my special day.  After all, Akemi and I were semi-regulars of both Minami and its original sister location, Miku.  And Andria had made a point of mentioning the special occasion.  So what would it be?  A complimentary drink?  A free dessert?  A Happy Birthday chorus?  As it turned out it turned out be…

…wait for it…

Absolutely nothing!

Look, I wasn’t expecting anything going in, but they were the ones who made note of the occasion – not once or twice but three times.  And after we dropped $200+ on sake and sushi, it surely wouldn’t have killed them to offer us one of their over-wrought desserts on the house.

DARK SHADOWS

This one had been sitting on my DVR rotation for months and we finally sat down to watch it last night because Akemi was in the mood for a comedy – which, as it turned out, this movie was NOT.  I mean, not even close.  Utterly, bafflingly, frustratingly unfunny.  Great performances by Johnny Depp and co.  Great direction by Tim Burton.  Great costumes and visual effects.  But one enormous TURD of a script.  Anyone reading this blog, and I do mean ANYONE with three hours to spare could have done a better job.  Honestly.  At some point, you would think someone would have noticed they were acting/filming/buffing a humorless piece of shit – and yet they went ahead and made this movie anyway.  Hell, even before in went into production, some executive somewhere read the script and said “We’re good to go!”. I like to imagine there’s a special place in Hell for greenlighters of movies like this one, nestled somewhere between the “evil counsellors” and the “sowers of discord”. Seriously, dude.  Please point to a single beat in that shipwreck of a movie that was even slightly amusing.  Just one.

Easily one of the worst films I’ve watched in recent memory.

 

Tagged: Betsy Price, Dark Shadows, Dark Shadows (20120), Dark Shadows movie, Mayor Betsy Price, Minami, Minami Restaurant

October 18, 2013: Better Back, Bouncy Balloon, and Birthday Booty!

Someone’s back is feeling better.

No doubt spooked by threats of getting checked out by an MRI scanner, my back has been on its best behavior today.  While not totally pain free, it’s a marked improvement from only a few days ago when I was staggering around like, well, my fourteen and a half year old pug, Jelly, who suffers from hip dysplasia.

Jelly relaxing after a day’s staggering.

Not sure what changed.  Maybe it was the massage therapy or my being more mindful of my posture or, maybe, just maybe, that dose of radiation I received during my x-ray did a body good.

Got my car serviced today.  Not exactly notable except for Akemi’s extra-curricular activities while I was waiting for the good folk at Audi to finish washing my SUV.

I can’t help but think this is pretty much how a monkey would react if it discovered a balloon in its natural habitat: some close scrutiny, a couple of head bounces, and then retire to the complimentary coffee bar for hot chocolate and banana bread.

Hey, check out what I received in the mail today.  More birthday swag!

A Breaking Birthday card from my friend Jessie.

And two personalized t-shirts from Fondy:

This one for Akemi featuring a photo of her favorite boy (from what I understand, I’m a close second).

And, for me. Extra points for the Stargate references.

October 17, 2013: Quest for the MRI!

I celebrated the day after my birthday by deciding to finally get that MRI.  After going on four weeks of this lower back pain, I figured it was about time.  So I had a choice: wait for the public health care system to “work” or just pay for an MRI myself.  The former is cheaper, but the wait is a little longer: 12-18 months as opposed to, say, tomorrow or the day after.  Why so long a wait?  Well, that’s because my first world country has one of the lowest rates of MRI machines per capita in the developed world, about six scanners for every million Canadians, compared to about 27 for every million Americans or 40 for every million Japanese citizens.  Anyway, rather than wait for my Tokyo trip…

I called up a buddy who knows buddy who has access to an MRI machine.  I’m not sure what the deal is, whether he got it as a present or just operates it at a clinic, but I told him I wanted to come in and get tested.  No problem, I was informed.  All he needed was a requisition from my doctor and I’d be good to go.

Huh?  What?  Requisition?  You mean I can’t just stop by and get an MRI like I’m dropping in for a burger with fries?  Apparently not.

Unfortunately, my family doctor is away until next week so I had to visit a walk-in clinic.  ”You’re worried about this,”noted the doctor when I requested that requisition.  I confirmed that, after four weeks, I certainly was.  ”Obviously you’ve never had back pain before,”she said with a smile.  She told me that I could get that MRI, but I would have to get an x-ray first.  That’s the procedure here in Vancouver.  Useless x-ray FIRST, useful MRI second.

So I got that useless x-ray and was told a doctor there would review the results – but, alas, not with me.  That would be a job for my doctor.  Then why, I wondered, was THIS doctor reviewing the results?  Who knows?  Maybe he already finished the latest issue of Men’s Health and needed some bathroom reading.

Perhaps sensing that I’d had enough of its nonsense, my back was on its best behavior today.  Following the advice of the emergency room doctor I saw the other day, I avoided sitting.  I got out of bed, walked around, worked out on the elliptical, did some writing standing up.  Driving was a bit of a challenge and I thought I’d availed myself nicely but the cop who pulled me over told me that a flower pot on the gas pedal and me running alongside my SUV, steering through the open driver side window was NOT acceptable.  Still,  the results were near miraculous.  A little bit of twinge to remind me but, otherwise, my back was relatively pain free today.

My massage therapist continues to believe the issue is muscular.  In her estimation, I pulled my glute doing lunges.  Only time will tell…

Or that MRI.

 

October 16, 2013: Birthday Day!

Whew!  Crazy day!  No sooner did I wake up this morning, than I received my first gift of the day:

Yes, that’s NFL.com telling me that my waiver wire selection of New York Giants receiver Rueben Randle went through!  How’s that for a pleasant birthday surprise?

Then, after feeding the dogs (of course), I went through the many Happy Birthday texts, emails, and blog comments I’d received.  As well as these awesome cards…

First from mom and sis:

First, the back of the card. Sis always claimed she was a better swimmer than me growing up because she was a lifeguard. And didn’t mind putting her face in the water.

The card itself is perfectly in keeping with my roguish pirate image.

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October 15, 2013: Finally getting around to this and that!

Hey, check out what was on t.v. in the hospital waiting room.  Yes, SG-1 – specifically, season 9 episode Evolution II.  Right at the part where the bad guy is about to clamp the  booster cables on Daniel Jackson’s junk, I get called in to see the doctor.  I explained the situation.  Lower back pain, more of an ache, focused on the right hip area, going on three weeks now.  Minimal pain at night.  Hardly any at all in the morning. But often overwhelming stiffness after sitting down for prolonged periods of time.  The diagnosis: Try not to sit down so much. Really.  Oh, sure, he checked my spine, had me bend this way and that, asked me to push, pull, resist.  All good.  Like everyone else, he assumes it’s muscular – and muscular issues can take up to six weeks to clear up.  He suggested that if it doesn’t clear up in another two weeks, I should ask my family doctor for an x-ray.

I could.  But I got a line on a guy with an MRI machine.  That might be the way to go – especially with Tokyo less than three weeks away!

So, tomorrow is my birthday.  (As if you didn’t know).  And, today, Akemi surprised me with THIS -

Cha-daaa!

It’s a super blender, apparently capable of liquifying everything from fresh fruit to hands of your enemy.  Anyway, Akemi captured me going through the standard The Three Stages of Surprise Gift Getting…

Shock

Delight

Hunger

It’s like close-up super slo-mo footage of a hummingbird feeding. Pretty fascinating, huh?

And in other news:  Paul and I have signed a development deal to write a script and series overview for an original project, and also signed a deal to develop a premise and pitch a series based on a book by an acclaimed SF author.  In addition, we’re developing a show with Robert Cooper, and I’m about to tackle the second scene of a new pilot script.

I’m pretty much done with all of the new fall shows.  On the other hand, I did check out the fourth year premiere of what looks to be a very promising new season of The Walking Dead.  I’ve also been catching up on some of the movies languishing in my PVR.  As much as I enjoyed The Orphanage, I thought Guillermo del Toro’s Mama was aptly named for the Japanese market, “mama” being the Japanese equivalent to “so so”.  Judge Dredd, on the other hand, was a pleasantly kitschy, ultra-violent surprise.

October 14, 2013: What I didn’t do today!

Another pick of yesterday’s piecaken

Yes, I know.  Today was supposed to be the day I finally went to the hospital to get my back checked, but I ended up not going for several reasons:

1. The plan was to wake up early so that I could really make the most of my time in the waiting room.  Unfortunately, my elderly pug, Jelly, was feeling under the weather last night, necessitating some EARLY morning emergency trips to the back yard.  When 8:00 a.m. rolled around, I was exhausted and ended up sleeping in.

2. Eating all that turducken and piecaken last night really took a lot out of me.  I was exhausted by the time my bedtime rolled around – too exhausted to shave.  For this reason, I elected to put off my hospital visit fearing that, in my present physical state, the staff would misinterpret my health complaints as the lunatic ravings of a homeless man and have me placed on a 24 hours psychiatric hold.

3. My back is feeling better.  Ish.

Let’s play it by ear.

When I finally woke up this morning, I couldn’t help but notice that I wasn’t alone.  Yes, despite the fact that it was hours past our usual wake-up time, my special little lady was lying beside me.  No, not Akemi.  My french bulldog, Lulu, who, apparently, woke up with everyone else, had breakfast, and then came back to bed to keep me company.  How’s that for loyalty?  Or, maybe, sheer laziness?

Hmmm.  Maybe the latter.  This was Lulu earlier today taking a nap in her favorite sun spot.  Some guard dog, huh?

Believe it or not, I only ate one meal yesterday.  Granted, I had three helpings in that one sitting, but still.  I skipped dinner and then, as a my guests were leaving, made sure to send them off with plenty of leftovers.  Check out Tio on his way out the door for the long motorcycle ride home.  He had to actually wear every piece of clothing in his backpack in order to fit the food inside.

No, scratch that.  The back isn’t feeling any better.  I’ll go tomorrow.

Today’s blog entry is dedicated to Riley and Maddie.  Get better soon!

October 13, 2013: Turducken! Piecaken! Fantasy Football Misery!

Rob and Lawren in the BG for some perspective

Akemi and I set our alarm for six a.m. this morning so we could get an early start on the turducken.  According to the instructions: 4 1/2 hours at 325 degrees covered, then another 45 minutes at 375 uncovered.  Tent and let sit for half an hour, then serve!

While I was setting the oven temperature, Akemi went to take the turducken out of the refrigerator – and almost dislocated her shoulder in the process.  The damn thing weighed almost 20 pounds!  I hurried over to help and, together, we slipped it into the oven.  Satisfied, I headed back upstairs for an extra two hours of sleep while Akemi elected to stay downstairs, practice her Italian, and do some cleaning.  I came downstairs a little after 8:00 a.m. to find her sweeping up “bunny dust” as she calls it.

“You mean dust bunnies,”I corrected her.

“No,”she was insistent.  ”Not dust bunnies.  Bunny dusts!”

Okay.  Bunny dusts.

By the time the guys came over for football, the bunny dusts were swept up and the turducken was roasting away.

Needless to say, the triple bird extravaganza – chicken stuffed into a duck stuffed  into a turkey, each layer insulated with delicious stuffing – was a resounding success:

Akemi sneaks a brussel sprout.

Big Bird!

Buttery mashed potatoes with pork drippings.

Roasted brussel sprouts (compliments of Ivon Bartok)

Roasted parsnip sticks (compliments of Ivon Bartok)

Since we were having turducken as our main course, I thought it only proper we do piecaken for dessert.  For those who don’t know, a piecaken is – well, pretty much what you’d suspect: a pie baked into a cake.  In this case, a pecan pie baked into a giant brownie.

To save time, Akemi and I prepared this the night before.  Really, SHE prepared while I played assistant – beating the eggs, pouring the mixture, and transferring items into and out of the oven…

We followed a Chuck Hughes recipe for the pecan pie.  The secret ingredient = maple syrup.

Once the pie had cooled, Akemi made brownie mixture and poured it into a cake hold.  We placed the pecan pie on top…

And then covered the pie with the rest of the mixture.  

We baked it for an hour and then tested it’s doneness by piercing it with a toothpick.  The toothpick came back clean, indicating the cake/brownie had cooked through.

The final product was fantastic.  I recommend serving with a couple of scoops of Haagen Dazs vanilla bean ice cream to counter the sweetness.  Yeah, I know.  It’s sweet too.  Just not AS sweet. 

I had three helping of the turducken and sides topped with gravy and pan drippings, then capped off lunch with a slice of piecaken and a double scoop of ice cream.

I don’t think I’ll ever be hungry again.

P.S.  Snow Monkeys lose!  Snow Monkeys lose!  Again!

Tagged: piecaken, turducken

October 12, 2013: The Thanksgiving Menu! My Aching Back! Early results for our Fantasy Pilot Television League! Do Dogs Have Brains?

Alrighty.  All set!  I picked up the turducken this afternoon.  Tomorrow morning, I’ll be up at six a.m. to ensure it’s roasted and ready for lunch.  I’ll be serving the triple bird with a side of Joel Robuchon-style mashed potatoes (basically, 50% butter) and Ivon’s homemade Brussel sprouts.  And, for dessert: PIECAKEN, a pecan pie baked inside a chocolate cake (Thanks to T for the suggestion)!

Hmmm.  This lower back issue has dragged into week three.  Despite two visits to a massage therapist, it hasn’t gotten any better.  In fact, I’d say it’s actually gotten worse, stiffening up whenever I stand up.  Time for a third opinion.  And an x-ray.   I think I’ll set aside my entire Monday.  And bring a book for the waiting room.  I just started Flannery O’Connor: The Complete Stories.  At 550+ pages, it should last me through the wait.  Shouldn’t it?  In the meantime, I’m doing a comparison of two different treatments to see which one does a better job of alleviating the pain.  Today, it’s Advil; tomorrow, Booker’s small batch bourbon.  I’ll keep you updated on my scientific findings.

To those of you who signed on for Lawren’s Fantasy Pilot Television League, the early results are in.  Great news for those of you picked Sleepy Hollow to get a second season pick-up.  Bad news for those of you who picked Lucky 7 and We Are Men.  Things look very promising for Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.  On the other hand, it’s looking dire for Welcome to the Family, Brooklyn 9-9, Trophy Wife, Ironside, Sean Saves the World, Dads, Hostages, Mom, and Betrayal.  How are your picks faring?

Checked out any of the new fall shows?  Any you’re particularly enjoying?  Enjoying at all?

That recent article about dogs possessing the sentience of human children (Dogs are people too? We don’t need scientists to tell us that) has sparked plenty of debate.  Here, this student of philosophy asks the age-old question: “Do dogs have brains?”