Joseph Mallozzi's Blog

September 9, 2025: The Big “200” Breakdown!

SG-1 was about to attain the loftiest of broadcast heights – its 200th episode – and we wanted to do something special. Something unique. Something everyone on the production would enjoy as much as the longtime fans watching at home. The initial idea pitched was something called “Remember When…”, a trip down memory lane in which our characters’ reflections would form the frames of the varied flashbacks to outrageous missions. While everyone loved the idea of the outrageous missions, the premise of the episode felt too diffuse. We wanted an actual story that would form the heart of the episode. After much discussion, we elected to pay tribute to the franchise by referencing our last milestone – episode 100 – and bringing back Martin Lloyd and the show within a show, Wormhole X-Treme. But the fun we poked at the franchise through that spoof production was nothing compared to what we had in store for 200…

WE FINALLY GOT TO MEET THE FURLINGS!

Sort of. Even though it never really happened and we end up getting them killed in the end.

Back in the show’s fourth season, not long after joining the production, I was summoned to Exec. Producer Robert Cooper’s office. He was doing his pass on our first script, Scorched Earth, and needed something from me: the name of an alien race. When pressed, he admitted naming alien races was not his forte and, as evidence, offered up “the Furlings”. I have to admit that whenever I heard the name, I always imagined a cosmic version of the Care Bears, giggling and snuggling their way through various adventures. As evidently, did everyone else on the production. The fans, however, were all sorts of curious and nary a week would go by without a fan posting a message board request for a glimpse of the elusive beings. Time wore on and those requests continued so, at one point, Brad suggested an episode in which we actually did get to meet them: a race of gaunt, towering, hairless, grey-skinned creatures. But that idea was quashed and the production went on its merry way, choosing to keep the race a mystery. But with 200 came the opportunity to honor those fan requests, and the viewers at home finally got to see those lovable furry creatures who turned out to be a cross between an ewok and a deranged koala.

And then SG-1 went and got their planet blown up.

Of course, we quickly reveal that the incident never actually happened and it was part of a pitch for a revival of the defunct Wormhole X-Treme t.v. series, a show that lasted an inglorious three episodes before being cancelled. But thanks to an impressive second life on dvd (following in the footsteps of Family Guy and Futurama) the show is being revived – and General O’Neill, in a desire to maintain a cover of plausible deniability for the Stargate program (and, let’s face it, screw with his old teammates) charges SG-1 with the task of creatively contributing to the production.

MITCHELL TAKES ON THE LIVING DEAD!

Every once in a while, actor Ben Browder would drop by the offices to pitch out an action sequence for his character – so I thought it appropriate that, given the opportunity, his character would pitch out an action sequence for – uh – his character. And, really, nothing says action like zombie hordes. Just ask fans of The Walking Dead. This sequence also allowed us the rare opportunity of witnessing Walter/Norman getting his head eaten. Double bonus!

Mitchell’s idea is shot down and Martin gets on the phone with a representative of the studio. He is clearly frustrated and Mitchell asks: “Studio executives, huh?” Martin responds: “What? Oh, no Charlie? He’s a great guy. He’s the only one I trust.” This was a reference to longtime MGM President of Television and Stargate supporter Charles Cohen, one of the smartest, kindest studios executives I’ve ever had the pleasure to work with. As much as he was a fan of the show, we at the production were fans of Charlie.

Martin is outraged because they lost their lead. How, he wonders, can they do the show without their lead. “You just bring in a character to replace him,”suggests Mitchell – an obvious reference to the introduction of Cam Mitchell which followed soon after the departure of longtime SG-1 lead Jack O’Neill. Carter then throws out some alternate ideas for keeping the lead alive: “Well, you could have the other characters refer to him all the time. Maybe, get him on the phone once in a while.” Yep. Been there; done that during SG-1’s seventh and eighth seasons. And then, someone references that time O’Neill was invisible…

THE ADVENTURES OF INVISIBLE O’NEILL!

The idea of doing an Invisible O’Neill segment was actually a joke I threw out…That ended up making the script. That happened a lot in this episode. As with all the segments, we went off and wrote them individually, and then everyone weighed in and they were tweaked. I always found the scene of O’Neill spying on Carter in the shower a tad creepy.

Anyway, the Invisible O’Neill idea was embraced because we wanted Richard Dean Anderson to come back and do a cameo on this all-important episode, but didn’t know if he’d be able to work in an appearance. So, we figured we’d get the next best thing: his voice. As it turned out, he was able to swing the appearance, making 200 all that more special.

THE GETAWAY

Martin then pitches out a tale of high adventure, placing our heroes (SG-1) in an impossible position – and then simply cutting to them escaping through the gate. This was a tip of the hat to the many fans outraged by a similar scenario in a past episode (don’t remember the name) in which our heroes (SG-1) are surrounded by Lucian Alliance soldiers only to effect some miraculous unseen escape. During the ensuing argument over the merits of the pitch, Martin attempts to come up with a reasonable window of time for the team to reach the gate and dial. Ten seconds is too short and thirty seconds is too round a number. He decides on 38! Which, coincidentally, is the same number (of minutes) a stargate can stay open.

Timing is, of course, everything, and nothing says action like a ticking clock. Which prompts the following gem from Martin: “Trust me, jeopardy plus ticking clock is box office. It’s the E equals M C squared of the entertainment world. Ask any executive.” Indeed. If there were two notes we received more than any other during Stargate’s long run, they were: “More jeopardy!” and “We need a ticking clock!”. Having a character race a timer to defuse a bomb? Didn’t get much better than that.

THEY’RE OFF TO SEE THE WIZARD!

Next to The Simpsons, The Wizard of Oz was probably the most referenced piece of pop culture over SG-1’s decade-long run. The fans certainly took notice and resulted in one particularly memorable piece of artwork being sent to studio depicting the original team as the cinematic classic’s adventurous foursome. So, I suppose, it made perfect sense to reference the constant references by including a little Wizard of Oz sequence in the episode as well.

Mitchell’s line: “Now, how can something work perfectly fine for ten years, then all of a sudden, it doesn’t work anymore?” was an in-story reference to the gate suddenly stopping operations – and, in hindsight, could have been interpreted as a comment on the the show’s cancellation.

DESTROYING STARGATE COMMAND

This also episode gave us the opportunity to do something we’ve always wanted to do: blow up Stargate Command. It’s part of the story Martin Lloyd pitches the team. Mitchell, however, points out a potential problem. They’re alive in the next scene. How is that possible. To which Martin replies: ” I’m thinking I can back-sell it and say you were beamed out at the last second.” Teal’c’s rejoinder neatly sums up the feelings of many on the production: “Is that not too convenient?”. Yep, nobody hated the Earth ship beaming technology more than I did – with possible exception of actor Ben Browder. In the original version of this scene, the fun we poked at ourselves was a little more pointed:

DANIEL: Beamed out.
MARTIN: By the Prometheus.
TEAL’C: Convenient.
MARTIN: True. But c’mon, you got Asgard technology, why not use it? As long as it doesn’t become a crutch.
DANIEL: Small problem. The Prometheus was destroyed.
MARTIN: Really? By who?
MITCHELL: Kind of a long story.
MARTIN: In battle?
MITCHELL: Yes.
MARTIN: Wow. So how’d you get out of that one?
Beat.
DANIEL: We, uh… we were beamed out.

Soon after, Martin fields yet another call, this one from the network. “So, trouble with Nora”assumes Mitchell, to which Martin replies: “No, Nora—she’s great.” A shout-out to the late Nora O’Brien who was our network point-person for many years before she moved on to another position with NBC. A sharp executive and just a lovely woman.

SG-1 DOES STAR TREK

We all grew up with the original Star Trek (except Rob Cooper who preferred The Six Million Dollar Man) so we (and by we I mean Brad) couldn’t resist the opportunity to do an SG-1 version of the television’s most famous SF series. Paul McGillion was originally supposed to do the one-line cameo of the ship’s beleaguered Scottish engineer, but when that fell through, series co-creator and Executive Producer (not to mention former stage actor) Brad Wright stepped into those shiny black boots.

THE YOUNGER, EDGIER TEAM

Look closely and you can catch the late Cory Monteith as one of the young and edgy team-members. “Young” and “edgy” were buzzwords we kept on hearing a lot of (and continue to hear a lot of in the business), so Rob Cooper served up his version of what a younger, edgier Stargate would look like complete with stylized shots and dreamy cast members.

Vala continues to pitch out ideas, offering up an SF version of Gilligan’s Island (“We were in a cloaked cargo ship on a simple, three-hour reconnaissance mission…”) that was one of the scenes we lost for time at the script stage…

VALA (VO): We were in a cloaked cargo ship, on a simple three hour reconnaissance mission…
TILT DOWN to reveal a planet.
VALA (V)): But on the way we encountered a severe electromagnetic storm and lost all power. We were forced down on an uncharted, deserted planet…
EXT. TROPICAL ISLAND — DAY
We see the cargo ship washed ashore on this deserted island, looking very much like the damaged S.S. Minnow.
VALA (VO): We washed ashore and were forced to survive for weeks in the most primitive of conditions. No phone, no lights, no motor cars. Not a single luxury.
EXT. ISLAND — DAY
Landry comes out of a hut, dressed like the Skipper.
VALA (V): General Landry was with us on the mission, and let me tell you, he was in a foul mood.
LANDRY: Mitchell!
Mitchell runs out, dressed like Gilligan.
MITCHELL: Yes, sir.
LANDRY: Where’s Carter? She was supposed to be done by now.
MITCHELL: Oh, uh…(looks around) She’s not here.
Landry whacks him with his cap.
LANDRY: I can see that.
DANIEL: Over here…
PAN TO Daniel (as the Professor) and Carter (as Mary Ann) carrying a large device out of another hut. Vala (as Ginger) trails behind them. The device looks like something constructed from bamboo and coconuts.
CARTER (to Landry): I think we may have something, sir.
VALA:Not a moment too soon. I must get out of this place. I have a photo shoot this afternoon.
Landry stares at the device.
LANDRY: What is this thing?
CARTER:Well, I managed to construct a basic subspace transmitter out of coconuts, bamboo and our old subspace transmitter.
DANIEL: A long shot, but it just might get us off this island.
MITCHELL: That’s great!
Mitchell eagerly moves in for a closer look, but trips,
falls and smashes the damn thing.Before Landry can whack him with his cap again —
TEAL’C emerges from the trees, dressed like Mr. Howell.
He casually puffs a pipe.
TEAL’C: Was I not traveling with a companion? A female by the name of… Lovey?
MARTIN: Alright, enough already.

FARGATE

I had really enjoyed Farscape and, with both Ben Browder and Claudia Black on the show, I couldn’t resist the opportunity to do a little tribute, SG-1 style. Originally, Ben was supposed to play the part of Crichton and Michael the part of Stark, but they suggested it might be more fun to switch up the roles.

SG-1 SUPERMARIONATION!

Brad Wright, Robert Cooper, Paul Mullie and Carl Binder are huge fans of Team America: World Police, so I suppose it should come as no surprise that they jumped at the chance to do their own, SG-1 version. As it turned out, years ago Paul and I had worked with The Chiodo Bros. who had created the puppets and effects for Team America (as well as work on a Davey and Goliath claymation parody for The Simpsons and the Willice and Crimbles parody segment on The Simpsons). We called them up and they ended up delivering kick-ass puppet versions of our team – and supporting players. So, okay. Fess up. Which one of you fans is now the proud owner of one of these?

In the writer’s draft of the script, yet another idea is pitched out…

MITCHELL: Death is always dramatic.
CUT TO:
INT. INFIRMARY — DAY
Daniel lies on the bed. Carter, Mitchell, Vala and Landry stand around him. Vala reaches out and touches his hand –
VALA: Goodbye, Daniel.
The heart monitor FLATLINES. The rest of the group can barely control their emotions.
Suddenly, a bright GLOW starts to emanate from under the sheets on the bed. Slowly, Daniel’s body TRANSFORMS into a glowing ribbon being like in Meridian. As it rises above the bed, the sheets collapse.
Amazement plays on the faces of everyone in the room. The glowing being hovers high above them for a moment then –
MARTIN: No, no, no.
BACK TO:
INT. BRIEFING ROOM — DAY
Martin shakes his head.
MARTIN: We did that twice in the series.
DANIEL: You only made three episodes.
How many times did we kill off Daniel again?

Whenever we offed guest stars, we would invariably send them off with the heartening: “This is science fiction. Nobody ever dies in science fiction!” And, many times on Stargate, that was proven true.

Then, someone pitches out the fishing segment. Martin’s response: “And what’s the twist…no fish?” is, of course, a reference to the twist at the end of Moebius I and II.

THE WEDDING

How couldn’t we? There was something there for the shippers – and something there for the slashers as well when O’Neill, waiting for Carter, turns to Daniel who utters the memorable: “You know, if she doesn’t show, people are gonna think that you and I –“. My favorite part of this segment is Jack referring to Carter as, well, Carter. Not Sam or Samantha but Carter. I guess old habits die hard.

Martin’s response to the pitch ” Yeah, right, if I want to torture the audience on purpose!” echoes a quote from a fan letter we received that was critical of the ship. A classic line.

The episode ends with a bunch of interviews teeming with inside jokes.

I mean, I know we did 10 years but, dammit, we were still on a roll!

The post September 9, 2025: The Big “200” Breakdown! appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.

September 8, 2025: Our Columbo rewatch continues with…Agenda for Murder!

This episode first aired February 1, 1990.

This is the third of four appearances by Patrick McGoohan as well as the third of four episodes he directed. McGoohan won his second Columbo Emmy Award for his performance as Oscar Finch.

His portrayal of the Governor would end up being actor Arthur Hill’s final film appearance.

My thoughts on this episode in chronological viewing order…

Patrick McGoohan as Oscar Finch looks like Alan Napier as Alfred from the old Batman series.

A suitably ominous dark and stormy night.

Wow. A lot of thought and prep went into this murder.

Columbo struggling with that state-of-the-art fax machine!

Not sure about Columbo sniffing out the Parmigiana Reggiano like, well, Dog. He is an appreciator of fine cheeses though.

Blood UNDER the gun instead of on top of it. Suspicious! And sloppy.

But isn’t it possible that the gun would eventually slip out of the dead man’s hand? It’s not such leap.

Really? NO ONE can figure out the fax machine?

Mrs. Columbo is more tech-savvy ever since he got her a computer. Reminds me of someone I once worked with back in the day who bought his wife a computer. She became quick learner – so much so that she ended up developing software that was licensed by the FBI and paid her roughly 1 million dollars a year.

Hmmm. Only 1 of 2 pages sent!

Columbo amazed by the new fangled phones!

I love this secretary, indignant over the stench of cigar smoke.

“That oxidized relic is yours?” Brilliant.

Love the way Columbo tracks him down: “One more thing…”

Can I just say how much I love McGoohan’s performance as the cool and calculated Finch.

Love Finch’s reaction to seeing Columbo at the courthouse – none too pleased.

“He shot himself between jokes.” Well, when you put it that way, that IS suspicious.

Finch’s delayed sustained laughter is all sorts of unsettling. What a great villain.

Columbo can’t get the pen to work. “Twist it,” suggests Mackey. Is Columbo a Luddite? Was he raised Amish?

This is a great bit where Columbo asks Mackey for an autograph for his wife…
“What’s her name?”
“Mrs. Columbo.”

Love Columbo noting that Finch beat him to his own parking spot.

Finch offers a perfectly reasonable explanation for why the gun drop was delayed. “Brilliants, sir,”says Columbo. “I wouldn’t have thought of that in a million years.”

Wow. He admits the murder to Mackey. The bigger the circle of trust, the weaker its borders!

Does every political campaign scene have to show people in styrofoam hats celebrating to the tune of When the Saints Go Marching In?

“I think you did it.” Columbo refreshingly/shockingly honest.

“That was an extraordinary remark you made just now. I’m very disappointed in you.”
“I’m sorry about that.”
“I thought we had a nice relationship going.”
“Well, nothing’s perfect, sir.”
A terrific exchange.

Come on. There is no way that parking spot would have been dry if he left at 2 am. How long does it take wet pavement to dry? Am I missing something here?

That suit could have been rain-damaged at any time though, no? I mean, I understand it’s L.A. and it rarely rains but that feels like a bit of a stretch as well.

The swimming-upstream-against-the-crowd scene is kind of funny.

He matched the bite mark on the chewing gum to the teeth mark in the cheese? That IS poppycock.

What a pleasant surprise. I really enjoyed this episode despite the preposterous case Columbo ultimately builds against Finch. I know bite mark analysis was a thing back when this episode was shot but it nevertheless feels kind of ridiculous. Still, Columbo does establish motive, means, and opportunity and it is a pretty strong episode overall, bolstered by the two fantastic performances of our leads – Falk and McGoohan. Columbo was more reserved than previous outings and the direction was more restrained, which I appreciated. No silly ringmaster outfits this time out, just a good, solid story and a worthy adversary reminiscent of Columbo of old. Easily my favorite episode of the new batch.

The post September 8, 2025: Our Columbo rewatch continues with…Agenda for Murder! appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.

September 7, 2025: Sharky Sunday!

Back to The Well…

BIG turkey meatball…

Misjuding his jump…

Out and About with Sharky: Nonni’s…

Sharky meets Arthur…

Messy eater…

Street dog…

Suji and Sharky…

The post September 7, 2025: Sharky Sunday! appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.

September 6, 2025: Dark Matter moments!

Kill them all…

Transfer transit…

The end of EOS-7…

dark-matter-the-end-of-eos-7-mp4

Rough landing…

dark-matter-rough-landing-mp4

High Noon…

dark-matter-high-noon-mp4

Dunking the cosmic donut…

dark-matter-dunking-the-cosmic-donut-mp4

They can do better…

dark-matter-22they-can-do-better22-mp4

The post September 6, 2025: Dark Matter moments! appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.

September 5, 2025: Our Columbo rewatch continues with…Columbo Cries Wolf!

This episode first aired January 20, 1990.

This is the first episode of Columbo in which the victim is not killed in the first act.

Ian Buchanan who played Sean Brantley and Rebecca Staab who played Tina would reunite on the daytime soap Port Charles (1997).

My thoughts on this episode in chronological viewing order…

The opening to The Fine Young Cannibals immediately dates this outing.

Ian Buchanan excels at playing punchable slimeballs.

“No more live-in nymphs!” Seems kinda harsh.

That secretary aint exactly subtle in her snooping.

Who hasn’t asked their limo driver to stop somewhere and pick up some thinly slicked Scottish salmon?

Shades of “Blueprint for Murder” with this airport swithcheroo.

Why the heck is Columbo driving to what sounds suspiciously close to the Seinfeld opening theme?

Not sure why Columbo would go down the path of assuming she was swapped out.

Columbo can’t say no to a fancy helicopter ride. Or a good cigar.

Aha! A shell casing.

This is the same panning shot of the poolside models from the opening but, for some reason, flipped so we’re panning from right to left instead of left to right. Did they seriously not have enough B-cam footage?

So Columbo is basing his theory on the gunshot and the fact that Diane was bundled up when she exited the vehicle. Hmmm.

Columbo can’t figure out crime books, even after the detective has laid it all out in the end. I’ve read a few of those this year.

Ah, the days of flying when you could breeze past security without removing your sunglasses or head covering.

Custom made matching beepers. How romantic.

Aha! The lady in the security cam video is putting cream in her coffee – something the missing Diane never did!

Brantley’s angry response to being suspected of murder is a very unmurderer-like reaction.

I like the scene of Columbo walking in on a half dozen models just playfully lounging around the bedroom.

The scene of Columbo and co. hiding out in the public bathroom is kind of funny.

I do question Columbo’s need to review all those security tapes when he could have just reviewed the relevant ones.

If it WAS Tina, how could she have returned from London? With a fake passport?

Tina is really taunting Columbo, first throwing the papers in his face, then the cannonball into the pool.

A postcard from Diane?! Is this a ruse?

Weird scene transition. It looks like Columbo walks out on Brantley to a waiting limo in time to see Brantley, now changed, heading out. Not a convincing time cut.

Columbo crammed into the limo with the models.

The models have two minutes to shop. If I was them, I’d skip the clothing stores and head straight for the nearest Van Clef.

Columbo jogging alongside Tina echoes a similar/better scene from “An Exercise in Fatality”.

Tina in that crop top and pants. In a word: “Wow”.

Do they really need to handcuff her? I think this is Columbo getting back at her for the pool cannonball.

Diane makes a reappearance, having returned from her trip to London. Did NOT expect that twist!

And neither did Columbo.

They made him look like quite the fool.

There is a surprising lack of cocaine in these 90’s model party scenes.

This, I believe, is the latest a murder is committed in an episode of Columbo – with less than 14 minutes remaining. Also, the fastest Columbo solves a case.

It’s a pretty great Gotcha!, although I could have done without him actually sending the “Gotcha” message. Also, lucky for him that the body just happened to be buried close enough for them to hear the pager.

This episode does not come close to the lofty heights of the classic Columbo episodes – BUT it does take the top spot of the new Columbos. Buchanan plays a suitably smarmy villain and I have to admit to being surprised by the late episode twist that sees Diane make an unexpected return. The Gotcha was, I thought, very well done as well. While I found Columbo’s investigative presumptions a little hard to swallow, and the show’s 90’s elements annoyingly dated (outside of that one outfit Tina was wearing), they were minor quibbles in an otherwise solid episode.

Next up, Columbo investigates a murder made to look like a suicide in “Agenda for Murder”. Here’s hoping season 9 continues it’s modestly solid run.

The post September 5, 2025: Our Columbo rewatch continues with…Columbo Cries Wolf! appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.

September 4, 2025: The Thursday Update!

Now while it may seem like I’m recommending a lot of 2025 Crime Reads at 20 odd titles, the fact that I’ve checked out over 150+ books suggests otherwise in the grand scheme of things.  Anyway, here’s one more to add to your reading list…

Marble Hall Murders by Anthony Horowitz

Editor Susan Ryeland discovers the manuscript for the crime novel she is reading may hold the clues to solving a real life murder.

Posting this video of Keir Starmer trying to appear manly will now get you 4-6 months in a UK prison…

This is outrageous…

You used to be able to pay for a premium commercial-free service, but the NFL just had to wring those last few pennies out of their fanbase. I will not be renewing my Redzone subscription.

Climate activists hate coffee drinkers, Post-Impressionist art and now your dog…

Finally, a reminder that our Columbo rewatch resumes tomorrow with “Columbo Cries Wolf”!  Will season 9 continue its semi-promising run?

The post September 4, 2025: The Thursday Update! appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.

September 3, 2025: Amazing Covers!

A few that caught my eye this week…

Batman #1 – cover art by David Aja

The Amazing Spider-Man #11 – cover art by Lee Bermejo

Wolverine #13 – cover art by Martin Coccolo

Star Trek: Red Shirts #2 – cover art by Chris Shehan

Which were YOUR favorites?

The post September 3, 2025: Amazing Covers! appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.

September 2, 2025: Columbo rewatch update! Early birthday gifts! Science!

First off, an update for those participating in our Columbo rewatch.  The next episode we’ll be watching will be “Columbo Cries Wolf” (not “Rest in Peace, Mrs. Columbo”).  Prep accordingly for Friday’s discussion!

My early birthday presents have arrived, c/o of my wife.  And Amazon.

And this one.  They’ll be joining my Sinestro ring and Legion flight ring.  Add cape, a walking stick and a velvet fedora and I’ll be strutting around like a pimp from a 70’s cop show!

Can confirm!

 

The post September 2, 2025: Columbo rewatch update! Early birthday gifts! Science! appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.

September 1, 2025: Our Columbo rewatch resumes with Murder, A Self-Portrait!

This episode first aired November 25, 1989.

The Columbo masterpiece revealed at episode’s end was actually painted by Jarsoslav Gebr who headed up Universal Television Studio’s art department.

The Paradise Cove location featured in this episode is the same location as Jim Rockford’s trailer in The Rockford Files (1974).

Actress Shera Danese, who plays Barsini’s second wife, Vanessa, was married to Peter Falk and made multiple appearances on Columbo.

My thoughts on this episode in chronological viewing order…

Opening on this basset hound park meet-up bodes well for this episode.

Love Columbo struggling with an uncooperative Dog who looks like he packed on a few pounds since his last appearance.

I find the music intrusive here. I can barely hear the dialogue.

Max Barsini has an annoyingly mannered way of speaking. But it’s clearly working for him with the ladies – though, to be fair, this set-up is pretty ludicrous.

The music playing during his confrontation with his first wife is very distracting. I think the music in these new ABC Columbo’s is my biggest pet peeve.

Nice to see Vito Scotti playing Vito the bar owner.

Boy, nothing says British like a monocle. Smashing kippers, wot?

Columbo doesn’t make his official entry until the 30 minute mark. Which is why, no doubt, we kicked off the episode with that superfluous basset hound park sequence that I ultimately did not mind.

Aha! She was only wearing one contact when she went out for a swim. Why someone would she only be wearing one contact at any time is, I suppose, besides the point.

Really hate the music that accompanies the second wife’s reaction to the death of the first wife.

Love Columbo putting together the weirdness of the living arrangement.

Do we have to have music in every damn scene? Less is more.

Love the fact Columbo is eager to pose for his painting. “Wait ’til I tell Mrs. Columbo.”

“You carry on like fishwives!”
“Go. Make yourselves useful. Cook! Pray for Louise! Wash my clothes!”
Subtle this aint.

I kind of like this scene of Columbo switching roles with the psychologist.

Something terrible once happened at Vito’s bar. Is that why it’s always empty?

“I do not paint dogs.” Of course not. He’s a psychopath.

He’s going to paint Columbo’s “policeman’s soul”!

While i don’t mind these black and white dream sequences conceptually, I wish they’d really gone for it and made them weirder.

Uncle is oncle in French and my uncle in mon oncle in French which is close to the word monocle. That is one ridiculous thread of logic…that turns out to be dead-on.

I like the intercutting between the interviews of the two lovers.

Another nice little Dog moment. I bet he loves the ocean.

Should a psychologist really be releasing these dream tapes to the police even if his patient is dead?

Strawberry and blueberry contain the word “bury”. Another ridiculous leap in logic…that also ends up being correct.

Interesting choice to have this heart-to-heart between the two women take place in a sauna.

Columbo’s uncle was a doctor. The poor guy lamented the fact that the only visits he ever got were from sick people. Sad.

I did laugh at Barsini’s progression of insults he shouts after the departing Julie: “Ingrate! Tramp! Model!”

Barsini thinks he has been abandoned – but Columbo is there for him!

The Barsini red paint on his dead ex-wife’s lips tie him to the murder. I guess. Kinda sloppy of him though.

Columbo and Barsini are suprisingly amiable to each other in this final Gotcha scene.

Maybe I’ve subconsciously readjusted my expectations for these new Columbo’s because I didn’t hate this episode. On the other hand, I didn’t exactly like it. Sure, there were some enjoyable moments (the Dog scenes stand out) as well as a few good lines, but I thought the performances were pretty awful. Fionnula Flanagan’s portrayal of first wife Louise was pretty good, but I thought Vito Scotti stole the show. The plotting was sloppy with regard to the investigation, and the whole dream diary elements were particularly egregious. It’s made pretty clear early on that Louise knows Max’s secret and vows to keep it and yet, at the same time, she is having these nightmares she can’t quite figure out. What nonsense. And speaking of nonsense…uncle=oncle=my uncle=mon oncle=monocle? Was writer Robert Sherman drunk when he wrote this sequence? Sherman would go on to write 15 episodes of Barnaby Jones and 7 episodes of MacGyver (!).

The fact that the production chose this episode to kick off the show’s ninth season makes me somewhat apprehensive but, like I said, I didn’t totally hate this one so that is a win so far as I’m concerned. Next up, the ominously titled Rest in Peace, Mrs. Columbo.

The post September 1, 2025: Our Columbo rewatch resumes with Murder, A Self-Portrait! appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.

August 31, 2025: Sharky Sunday!

Back to Toronto…

sharky-back-to-toronto-mp4

The hungry pug…

Sharky’s elevator routine…

Dog Day at The Well…

A trip to St. Lawrence Market…

Shabbie Time!

Sharky does NOT like being left alone…

The post August 31, 2025: Sharky Sunday! appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.