Joseph Mallozzi's Blog, page 3

August 20, 2025: Amazing Covers!

A few that caught my eye this week…

Absolute Flash #6 – cover art by Nimit Malavia

Batman/Superman: World’s Finest #42 – cover art by Adrian Gutierrez

Catwoman #78 – cover art by Dan Panosian

Kyrpto: The Last Dog of Krypton #3 – cover art by Jae Lee

Witchblade #13 – cover art by David Mack

So, which were YOUR favorites?

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August 19, 2025: This and That!

All 32 NFL teams will again this year be forced to stencil a ‘social justice’ message in their endzones.

They must choose from the following options:

“Murder is Bad”

“You Should Be Ashamed”

“Super Friends, Unite”

“Say Yes to War – When NATO Says So”

“Hurray for Lentils”

Consuming a 15 oz jar of Nutella gets you fully one third of the recommended dietary allowance of protein as set by the National Academy of Medicine.

If you opt for the Italian product with significantly more hazelnuts, that jar would provide approximately 40% of your daily recommended dietary allowance of protein.

I’m the type of husband who gets sent out for soy sauce and shampoo and comes back with ponzu and conditioner.

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August 18, 2025: Our Columbo rewatch concludes (for now?) with Grand Deceptions!

This episode aired May 1, 1989

This is another episode where we glimpse Columbo’s badge and the name “Frank Columbo”. Despite the fact, Peter Falk and the series creators insist Columbo’s name remains a mystery.

My thoughts on this episode in chronological viewing order…

Echoes of “By the Dawn’s Early Light”.

Keegan is kind of a jerk and worthy of becoming a victim.

Ah the classic ill-fated blackmail move.

Wait! That’s the old guy’s wife and not his daughter!

I notice there’s a heck of a lot more preamble before the murder in 80’s Columbo.

Don’t love the jaunty post-murder music.

What was he still doing there? Maybe he had a stroke? Collapsed? There could be many reasons.

“Well we’re just going to have to call it an accident and go with that.” Will they?

They found the flashlight! Big deal?

The leaves under the collar!

This sequence of Columbo interviewing the screwball cadets is supposed to be funny but feels kind of pointless.

Of course Columbo walks into the room marked No Admittance.

They use the IChing sticks to understand the process of Chinese decision-making. Wut?

“One more thing, sir” and a search through his pockets. Gotta have one of each of those in every episode.

How did the leaves and dirt get under his collar? It’s like somebody dragged him. Braille, of course, has all the answers. Big mistake.

Love these Dog cameos. He’s responsible for car security.

Why is that toy soldier behind the books?

Aha! His secret love nest!

A second episode points to…MURDER!

Columbo asks to use the bathroom. It’s an emergency!

Columbo drinking the General’s best sherry. He doesn’t drink when he’s on duty…except special occasions.

The exact same glass is in the love nest? Come on!

And her fingerprints are on the traveling toothbrush!

A surprisingly heartfelt scene between the old guy and his cheating wife.

This memorial chat sequence stretches to bounds of “humor”.

“Mr. Keegan knew, and now he’s dead.”

The existence of two separate report, conveniently green and red to differentiate, is silly.

Secret weapons sales!

Low blow. He tells the General he’s been sleeping with his wife.

“Oh, I’m implying more than that. I’m implying you murdered the man.”

This whole explanation of the soldier on the bookcase and the different box sizes I am sure makes sense of your really stop and think about it but at this point I’m just ready to take Columbo’s word for it and move on.

This Columbo figure, like Columbo’s ringmaster reveal in “Murder, Smoke and Mirrors” is unnecessary and just feels indulgent and weird. Regardless, I want one.

Padding aside, this episode has the distinction of being one of Columbo’s dullest outings. Padded, at times confusing, and lacking in any standout scenes or interactions. I miss old Columbo.

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August 17, 2025: Sharky Sunday!

Digging his escape tunnel…

Off to the St. Lawrence’s Farmer’s Market…

Falling asleep while snacking…

Off to the airport for another trip to Montreal…

Visiting grandma…

Broccoli lover…

A visit to Comptoir Jo in Montreal…

Dream twerking…

The post August 17, 2025: Sharky Sunday! appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.

August 16, 2025: The Saturday Report!

We were sitting at the cafe with Sharky where Akemi was enjoying an Earl Grey tea, I was sipping a mocha, and my mother way enjoying a double scoop of vanilla ice cream.  Yes, it was 10 a.m., but I’m past the point where I micro manage my mother’s eating habits.  If she wants to skip her lunch, she can skip her lunch.  If she wants to just have protein pudding for dinner, she can just have protein pudding for dinner.  And if she wants to eat vanilla ice cream in the morning, then why not?

We had struck up a conversation with the gentleman at the neighboring table who also had a dog.  When he found out what I did for a living, he asked “Anything I might have seen?”  “Maybe,”I responded.  “Provided you’re a sci-fi fan.”  He assured me he was and I told him I’d worked on Stargate.  Well, it turned out he loved Stargate, all three shows.

“What was your favorite episode?”I invariably ask in this situation.  Nine times out of ten, it’s always the same…as it was in this case…

“Window of Opportunity.”

So we spent the next forty minutes talking Stargate and sci-fi.  A pleasant little diversion.

Then, it was back to the convalescent home where we hung out in the garden until lunch.

After helping mom into bed for her post-lunch nap, Akemi and I (and Sharky) headed out for our lunch.  We had wanted to do Korean, but struck out.  Twice.  Both restaurants were closed.  So we ended up going to average pasta.  Meh.

Now back at home, I’m doing a little reading, a little updating, and plan to head back for mom’s 5:00 p.m. dinner.  I going armed with dark chocolate, a little something for all of the elderly ladies that hang out with my mother.  Akemi draws parallels between this and my love for going to the park, pockets filled with treats, for any dog I happen to come across.  In both cases, I am VERY popular.

Alright, off to watch another episode of Columbo.  Fingers crossed!

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August 14, 2025: The catch-up entry! Best Of…Stargate!

In the words of Akemi: “Dennit!”.  Between all the traveling back and forth between the convalescent home and my mother’s home, I forgot to upload a Thursday blog post.  So consider this a catch-up entry.

For those of you who can’t be bothered to head over to X and attempt to search out the Space we did, here is the audio from my Stargate-focused Best Of discussion with Undoomed.  We discussed SG-1’s “The Fifth Race”, SGA’s “The Shrine”, and SGU’s “Twin Destinies”…

https://josephmallozzi.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/Joseph-Mallozzi-on-X-httpstcoLC17ZfnogR-X.mp3

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August 15, 2025: Our Columbo rewatch continues with “Sex and the Married Detective”!

This episode aired April 3, 1989.

Dr. Allenby’s home also served as the home of Madelyn Hayes in the Moonlighting pilot (1985).

Actor Peter Jurasik, who plays Dr. Simon Ward in this episode, is perhaps better known to sci-fi fans as Londo Mollari from Babylon 5.

My thoughts on this episode in chronological viewing order…

Ah, the sex-obsessed 80’s.

Joan has a very, uh, unique way of speaking. Visually, she reminds me of Barbara Bochco.

I’m betting the sound design team didn’t win any Emmys for this episode.

There is an undeniable cheapness to these 80’s productions.

The sultry music is pure cheeseball.

“Boy, have I got plans for you.” Oh, I bet she does.

Man, these 80’s hairdos are something else.

Cleverly keeping her face concealed from the concierge.

This sexy music is kinda ass.

What kind of dessert WOULD she be? Spiced banana fritters?

Great intro to Columbo smoking his cigar in the elevator and then abashedly dropping it into his coffee.

Columbo describes the suspect as “A very beautiful woman. Very desirable.” That’s some major deductive reasoning.

The office has a sex room?

Wouldn’t it have been smarter to book a hotel?

I do like our shy and awkward Columbo avoiding the topic of sex.

Long dark hairs at the crime scene. How often is that room cleaned? A lot I hope.

How did the victim get in without his keys? Why would she take his keys?

Columbo admiring her ankles?

Columbo scurries away under the spotlight of her sex-related questions. What is he trying to hide?

Is that tuba player playing the Murder She Wrote theme?

Why are we being subjected to this ridiculous tuba-themed musical sequence that cuts to the exterior fountains and then segues into this silly parade? Why’re these children laughing and delighted? Is this a class for “the slow” kids? WTF is going on here?

He asks her how much she paid for the handbag. Mrs. Columbo’’s birthday coming up. “You would’n’t happen to know where I could get something that looked like that for about half the money?” This is a great moment.

As is the all too brief moment of suspense when he asks to see the briefcase.

Ah, bartending school. That takes me back. I think I still have my bartender’s certificate somewhere, filed away with my recipe for a yellow bird. I fail to see the point in the shaking exercise though.

Columbo enjoys his Shirley Temple – although, technically, he’s a guy so it would be a Roy Rogers.

Aha! Mrs. Columbo loved The Courtesan Complex. Do you think she also read 50 Shades of Grey?

Columbo attempts to make off with her briefcase. Back to his old klepto ways.

“Just one more thing, ma’am”. Not so fast.

Come on. The fact that she didn’t ask the taxi to wait isn’t bizarre at all.

I did laugh at Columbo asking to join the group therapy session.

“We have to look for the lady in black. And when we find her, I promise you, you’ll be the first to know.” Classic Columbo.

“Sexi is my whole life.”
“Oh my goodness.”
Indeed.

“Yeah, right. Popular sex. That’s something we have to watch out for.” Great line.

Don’t love this absurd sequence of the staff asking Columbo for relationship advice. It’s funny in concept but woefully underwhelming in execution.

Columbo dragging himself along the floor of the public bathroom. I’d say that raincoat is due for a dry-cleaning.

He discovers a piece of tape underneath the sink. So what?

Why is the cleaning lady dressed like she’s just walked off the set of Dr. Zhivago?

WTF is this lunatic sequence with the cleaning lady? Am I still watching Columbo?

This creepy asshole followed a woman to the ladies room and waited for her to come out. What a loser.

Why is she out as Lisa? Why is this seemingly intelligent woman so sloppy? And why is she leaving all these calling cards for Columbo? I miss the days of the worthy adversaries.

She arrives at her office in the dead of night to find Columbo there. A classic Columbo move.

The Mystery of the Missing Ashes!

Look, I get that it’s dramatic and eerie, but why the hell would Columbo have someone dressed as the lady in black appear and then mysteriously disappear in the hallway? He has already gathered the evidence he needs.

The sales lady can identify her buying the suit and wig. Not exactly iron clad proof of her guilt.

Her ultimate fantasy was not sex but…revenge. More common than you’d think.

Nice final exchange where Columbo shows sympathy and understanding for Joan.

So…didn’t love this episode. It felt padded with too many inexplicably tonally discordant sequences like the tuba parade, the kooky interaction with the cleaning lady, and the doctors asking Columbo for advice about their respective love lives. Our murderer was annoyingly sloppy – yet still the evidence against her is hardly damning. And yet, I’d still rank this episode above the previous two. Boy, these 80’s episodes feel dated in a way that none of the previous episodes of Columbo ever did.

Will season 8 go out with a bang or will this season’s finale, “Grand Deceptions”, prove equally underwhelming? We reconvene Monday to discuss!

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August 13, 2025: Amazing Covers!

A few that caught my eye this week…

Action Comics #1089 – cover art by Skylar Pratridge

Batman and Robin #24 – cover art by Jorge Fornes

Superman: The Kryptonite Spectrum – cover art by Alex Eckman-Lawn

Black Ritual: The Book of Nyx #1 – cover art by Nat Jones

So, which were YOUR favorites?

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August 12, 2025: Best Of The Twilight Zone and The X-Files! Another 2025 Crime Read Recommendation! Packing the travel chocolate!

Are wasps vindictive? (Asking for a wife who is aiming to take out the nest in her garden planter.)

Oh, in case you missed it (or didn’t want to trudge over to X to listen to it there) here is the Best Of episode in which my co-host, April Neale, and I discuss The Twilight Zone “Nightmare at 20,000 Feet” and The X-Files “Home”…

Another 2025 crime book I enjoyed….

Blood Ties by Jo Nesbo

Brothers Carl and Roy Opgard have killed their way to the top in the small town of Os, but with a new police investigation, a higher body count looms in the picturesque horizon.

***

Well, we’re Montreal-bound for another 13 days tomorrow.  I have, of course, packed my travel chocolates and planning to pick up some sandwiches because the sandwich options on Montreal’s west island are, in a word, “ass”.

I’ve got a bevy of books lined up and hoping I can hit my 100th 2025 crime book while on this trip!

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August 11, 2025: Our Columbo rewatch continues with Murder, Smoke and Shadows!

This episode aired February 27, 1989.

Hot young director Alex Bradey was obviously a nod to hot young director (at the time) Steven Spielberg who directed one of Columbo’s earliest outings “Murder by the Book”. Actor Fisher Stevens, who played the role of Bradey, was a hot young actor at the time, coming off the hugely successful Short Circuit.

The episode is written by Columbo producer Richard Alan Simmons. It would be his sole writing credit for the series. He would go on to write for Mrs. Columbo.

My thoughts on this episode in chronological viewing order…

Looks like he is watching the Amblin card.

I want a bar where I can make ice cream sodas!

Why is this guy stupid enough to show him the incriminating film, inform him that he has yet to show it to anyone else, and then threaten his life? Some victims are just too stupid for sympathy.

Like the previous episode, I really hate this updated musical score.

“What the hell do you know about truth? What’s shadow? What’s substance?” Hooboy. Hammy dialogue alert.

Why is he running away from this little dweeb?

He finds Columbo already awaiting for him in his office. A classic Columbo power move.

Columbo struggling in the bean bag chair is kind of funny, but the water bed gag is just the bean bag chair gag that goes on for too long.

“Excuse me, sir, just one more thing…” Classic.

Why does Columbo fixate on those soda glasses? And why are they full when Columbo notes them and then almost empty when Alex smashes them? This isn’t a simple continuity issue as this is a single shot. Were the originals switched out for production-friendly candy glass?

My favorite character by far in this episode is Rose Walker played by the amazing Nan Martin. She doesn’t take shit from anyone.

Columbo delivering the clue in the model train is…a little too cutesy.

Nice to see Dog put in a cameo, but it’s all too short.

Why would Bradley be stupid enough to leave Columbo to snoop around his office for clues?

I initially liked this scene of Columbo, who we have already established as having a fear of heights, going up in the crane – but boy does this sequence go on for an annoyingly long time.

The Columbo/Battlestar crossover we didn’t know we needed.

Rose conveniently remembers Alex received a call from his old friend. Careful, Rose! Blackmailers never fare well on Columbo.

“You really should have tried the salmon, Alex.” My favorite line of the episode.

The exec is killing his movie. Yeah, I can empathize.

Columbo happens to find the footage!

Would Alex seemingly buying Rose’s silence as iron clad a piece of evidence as everyone assumes here? Wouldn’t the fact that he lied about receiving a call from his old friend, something Rose can confirm, be a stronger piece of evidence? This weird bit of pretzel logic solely serves to set up the big, showy/cringeworthy reveal with the various undercover cops stepping out to take their spotlight bows to musical accompaniment. WORST. GOTCHA. EVER.

Why is Columbo dressed as a ringmaster here?

By far, the very worst episode of Columbo I have seen to date. And Alex is one of Columbo’s feeblest adversaries, both physically and intellectually. His seemingly endless monologues on art and film are excruciating. Overall, this is one hell of a poorly scripted episode. Columbo just happens to find the victim’s heel after being permitted to roam the lot unattended? He also just happens to find the single book on the book shelf containing the ticket after, again, he is permitted to roam (this time Alex’s office) unattended. Even then, it’s all circumstantial evidence that would never stand up in court.

I don’t know. Two episodes into this return season and I am seriously underwhelmed. If the next two episodes don’t turn things around, I may have to end the rewatch with season 8.

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