Joseph Mallozzi's Blog, page 8

July 1, 2025: Best Of…Andor and Babylon 5!

Here’s the link to the recording of tonight’s X Space….

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Link to the recording!

 

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June 30, 2025: Our Columbo rewatch continues with…Old Fashioned Murder!

This episode aired November 28, 1976.

When the original writer of the script, Peter S. Fischer, was unable to rewrite the script due to other commitments, Peter Falk brought in his friend Elaine May and script doctor Peter S. Feibleman to handle the revisions. Feibleman, also played Milton Shaeffer, the museum’s slovenly ill-fated security guard in this episode.

Script revisions were ongoing during production and the initial 10-day shoot ballooned to 30 days before NBC and Universal pulled the plug.

Original writer Fischer was so unhappy with the results that he used a pseudonym in the credits. Said Fischer: “My idea was to have Burgess Meredith as a Richard III character who ran a medieval museum with his two nephews. He wants to get rid of both of them, so he kills one and frames the other. That was my vision of the show. It got all turned around. It was out of my hands and all turned around.”

Eagled-eyed viewers may recognize Joyce Van Patten as the sympathetic nun in “Negative Reaction”.

My thoughts on this episode in chronological viewing order…

Boy, that is one slob of a security guard, flicking his cigarette butts onto the floor. Wouldn’t be surprised if he also pees with the bathroom door wide open.

That is one vibrant green velvet jacket.

Aunt Ruth needs to get out more.

That PUSH IN ON Ruth’s troubled face as Edward talks about selling the museum makes it pretty clear where this is headed.

The mousey museum curator plotting the perfect heist…and murder no doubt.

Wow, this episode spends an inordinately long time dwelling on the lives of its supporting players.

She guns down the security guard in cold blood. Didn’t think Ruth had it in her.

And then kills her brother!

There will be no powder burns on the victims’ hands. Will this come into play later? (Spoiler alert: No it does not.)

Columbo fighting off a cold. Is this relevant? (Spoiler alert: No it is not.)

This back-and-forth between Columbo and Tim Shaeffer is oddly edited. Also, this actor’s performance is…how shall we say…not very convincing?

Columbo notes Ruth isn’t upset by the murder, no doubt triggering his suspicions.

What is going on with all the sneezing? If you’re going to do something like this, at the very least have it pay off in some way. It’s as annoyingly silly as Phyllis Brandt’s serial fainting.

The silent scream segue to the next scene was done much better in a previous episode. Here it comes off very awkward and borderline silly.

Columbo rear-ending the cop car is in character I guess.

No one has bothered to check in on Edward because he was up late last night? Seems…a little preposterous.

Do they really have to work in the dark? Come on. Is this guy an idiot? The gags in this episode are pretty lame.

This whole line of investigation – the new shoes, tropical shirt, the manicure – is pretty lame writing.

This intercut between Columbo smoking and thinking and Ruth in her office is pointless.

“I thought you were…”
“An old maid. Yes.”
Ouch.

Where is his luggage and where is his passport? Again, this line of investigation feels pretty contrived.

Another suspect that does a lot of theorizing to explain away elements of the crime. The downfall of many a Columbo killer.

The angry hairdresser and Columbo’s new hairstyle is pretty funny and the only genuinely amusing bit in this entire episode.

Also love the fact that he leaves the Sergeant to pay for his haircut – and tip.

We’ve seen the Columbo-steps-on-robe-causing-it-to-rip in a previous episode. It’s less funny second time around.

Why is this maid so damn jumpy?

Why assume that someone would have to wait until midnight to reset their watch?

Boy, they are really milking this fainting gag.

So, hang on. Ruth is willing to frame Janie for murder but, in the end, agrees to confess to the double murder in order to spare Janie the truth about her father’s death? How does that track?

Alas, this episode was a real stinker. I’m surprised because they only did three episodes this season. You’d think they would take the time to make sure the scripts were solid. The investigative beats were contrived and silly, Ruth’s motivations inconsistent, and, aside from the hair cut gag, most of the humor in this episode fell flat.

My revised episode rankings: 1. Forgotten Lady, 2. Now You See Him, 3. Fade in to Murder, 4. Negative Reaction, 5. Any Old Port in a Storm, 6. Double Exposure, 7. A Friend In Deed, 8. Double Shock, 9. A Stitch in Crime, 10. Death Lends a Hand, 11. Suitable for Framing, 12. Publish or Perish, 13. Dagger of the Mind, 14. Requiem for a Falling Star, 15. Prescription: Murder, 16. Murder by the Book/Ransom for a Dead Man (tie), 17. By Dawn’s Early Light, 18. Swan Song, 10. Troubled Waters, 20. Lady in Waiting, 21. An Exercise in Fatality, 22. Etude in Black, 23. Playback, 24. The Most Crucial Game, 25. Blueprint for Murder, 26. Lovely But Lethal, 27. A Deadly State of Mind, 28. The Most Dangerous Match, 29. The Greenhouse Jungle 30. Identity Crisis, 31. Dead Weight, 32. Short Fuse, 33. A Case of Immunity, 34. Candidate for Crime, 35. Mind Over Mayhem, 36. Old Fashioned Murder, 37. Last Salute to the Commodore.

Finally, let’s consider whether Columbo has enough evidence to get a GUILTY verdict – or is Ruth looking at an ACQUITTAL? Well, I usually discount the after-the-fact confessions that typify many of these episodes but, in this case, the confession is a key story element. So I’ll allow it. In which case, it’s lights out for Ruth. GUILTY!

***

And a reminder that tomorrow, I kick off the BEST OF month-long marathon highlighting the very best episodes of the very best sci-fi shows as chosen by YOU, the fans.  Tomorrow, at 9pm Easter Time, I’l be discussing Andor (season 1, episode 10) “One Way Out” and Babylon 5 (season 3, episode 10) “Severed Dreams” on X Spaces.  See you there?

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June 29, 2025: Sharky Sunday!

The Montreal highlights…

Back to Tiny Market…

Shopping at Bone & Biscuit…

Every day after we have lunch, Sharky rushes into his “mansion” for an after- lunch snack…

Arguing with the couch…

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June 28, 2025: The Spaces experiment yields middling results!

At 3:00 p.m.. this afternoon, I kicked off the “Best Of…” month-long marathon with a pre-show.  Its purpose was foster discussion about the sci-fi shows we would be watching…and do a test run of this whole X Spaces thing. It was, admittedly, marginally successful.  I did most of the talking and despite having upwards of 70 listeners in attendance, a grand total of only two actually spoke/offered an opinion.  From a technical standpoint, I would have to give this Space a C.  At one point, I accidentally muted myself for about five minutes.  And when it was over, I looked to save and repost the Space only to discover it had failed to record.  Here’s hoping things run a lot smoother on Tuesday with the official kickoff that will see us discussing Andor and Babylon 5.  The original plan was to talk about each show for about 20 minutes each and then turn it over for some fan discussion but I don’t think I can count on fan participation so will just focus on discussing the episodes/shows with my co-host.

I think I may have done something to my neck.  Over the last couple of months, it stiffens up and feels incredibly sore at night – to the point that I ended up ordering one of those fancy special pillows…which sort of helped.  I’ve been going for physio and doing morning stretches (It seems that every day, Akemi discovers a new stretching video on youtube that gets added to already way-too-long routine), taking vitamin B3 and turmeric with black pepper.  Have seem some modest improvement of late despite one of my physio therapists surmising I may be suffering from arthritis!  The only good thing about my neck pain is it distracts me from my shoulder issues.

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June 27, 2025: Our Columbo rewatch continues with “Fade in to Murder”!

This episode aired October 10, 1976. Falk was convinced to return for a truncated sixth season of the series. He received a bump in pay that saw him make $300k/episode, the equivalent of about 1.5 million/episode today. The picture in Ward Fowler’s living room is actually a head shot of William Shatner as Captain Kirk. Fellow Star Trek alum Walter Koenig plays Sgt. Johnson in this episode. Peter Falk’s real-life wife, Shera Danese, makes six appearances in the show. This is her first, playing Molly. The scene in which Ward captures Columbo on video was largely ad-libbed. It’s clear the two actors were having a great time together. My thoughts on this episode in chronological viewing order… Love the in-show opening. “It’s Joseph, isn’t it?” No, it’s Swanny from last episode! I absolutely love the discussion about Ward and his demands…which no doubt echoed the opinions of many an executive when it came to Falk: “There is no actor in this business who is irreplaceable.” “Claire, Ward Fowler is not the first actor on this network to win an Emmy.  And he’s already one of the highest paid performers in television.” Falk coming off his Emmy win. “If we give in to him now…”“Without Ward Fowler there isn’t going to be any next year for this show.”“Ward Fowler IS the show.”The only thing that would have made this exchange more perfect would have been to have actual executives cast in the roles – which is what we did on Stargate: SG-1’s “Wormhole X-Treme”, giving the studio executive the line “You know what this show needs is a sexy female alien.” which is pretty much what he suggested on a notes call. Does the prop department keep real guns in the gun room? Ah, establishing his alibi with the pre-recorded game. Even as a whispering stick-up man, he sounds Shatneresque. Why the need to shred his robber outfit? I assumed Columbo would track the feather stuffing back to him. Ah, good. Fixing the watch. Clever. Chekov! “We never missed that show.  What a detective!” Columbo and the missus are fans! “About your height.” “Average height.”Columbo sensitive about his stature. Strange how Columbo shrugs off the guy’s emotional plea to catch the killer.  Columbo stumbling around like a producer visiting set for the first time. Did I mention that time I invited a producer for their first set visit – only to have them walk off the edge of the dark stage and face plant? Ah, the clumsy establishment of the Ward’s alibi. I really do like how Shatner is playing this.  Columbo believes the robbery was staged. Lieutenant Lucerne is also on the case! He’s as savvy as his fictional counterpart. He also has answers for everything – the ring was too tight, the alligator bag was worn, why take the credit cards that could tie them to a murder? – thus, no doubt, making Columbo instantly suspicious of him. Meanwhile, Sid Daley is back on set producing the show as if his wife’s death was just a minor inconvenience. The Gopher always set his watch 5 minutes ahead – but his watch lost 5 minutes. Hmmmmm. Ah, the Jaws shark cameo (although I highly doubt it WAS the shark used in the movie). Another tip of the hat to director Steven Spielberg who directed the first episode of Columbo’s first season. Love the tete-a-tete between detectives. Fowler is full of himself and Columbo plays along beautifully: “No wonder you solve more crimes than I do.” “Where do you think he got the costume?”asks Ward.  Now why refer to it as “a costume”? The mask had make-up on it. Hmmmm. “Good working with you.”  And the two detectives shake hands. Brilliant. That giant blue thread on the trigger of the murder weapon! Planted evidence has never been more obvious.  This is a fun scene of Columbo trying on Fowler’s shoes and hat.  According to the lab, the mask contained four different shades of make-up. Ward: “I, for example, use precisely that product myself.” This reminds me of Hitchcock’s Witness for the Protection. “There were only four people who knew where Claire would be that night,” offers Ward’s alter-ego Lucerne. He’s his own worst enemy. On the other hand, one could argue he already knows Columbo knows this as well. “I was in theater in Toronto.” Ward Fowler’s humble beginnings are suspiciously similar to William Shatner’s.  “Paying an actor that kind of money is insanity,”says Sid. “I think they [the studio] should have turned him down. I think he would have folded.” More inside gags. The safe held silver certificates and IOU’s from Ward Fowler! Aha! Sid was not playing chess that night. He was having sex with his assistant! This is a fun little scene with the video camera. Falk and Shatner look like they’re having a blast working together. Columbo accepts a glass of brandy. He’s back off the wagon! “Just might conceivably be Ward Fowler might be the man we’re after,”offers Lieutenant Lucerne.  “Let’s examine the possibilities.” He’s his own worst enemy. He assumes Columbo has already checked with the Toronto police. He has. And discovered he was a Korean war deserter. “Does an intelligent woman destroy her only means of income?”posits Lucerne. Very good question. “Can I ask you a question, sir? Why don’t we just ask Ward Fowler whether he was being blackmailed or not”“I asked him.”“And?”“He claims not.”But does Lucerne believe him? “The army unit he deserted from was the artillery.  He was an expert marksman.  I checked on that too.”“He never told me that!”“You see.  You never know.”Has Ward actually lost his mind or is he playing Columbo? What does Columbo believe? “That leaves us with Sid Daily.”  “That’s a great third act line.” Waiting for… “Oh, one more thing.” And there it is! “Would you stop calling him Lieutenant Lucerne.  He’s a television detective.  You can’t conduct an investigation based on his suspicions.” Sid saying what we’re all thinking. Columbo lays it all out, exactly how he did it. “But as lieutenant Lucerne would say Where there is no proof there is no criminal,”says Ward. And he’s right. “You remembered to clean the gun.  But you didn’t remember to do the same thing with the bullets.” Oh damn. That is a clever Gotcha. Ward snaps his fingers: “Damn.  I had to forget something.  That’s always how the third act ends.” Really more of a fourth or fifth ending but, inevitably, yes. “You see I have no rehearsal as a murderer.  I am, after all, a detective.” He has a point. Even if he is clearly crazy. “And I believe that in this killing the murderer has the sympathetic part,”concludes Ward. “Does that satisfy you?” Works for me! I thought William Shatner pretty damn brilliant in this episode and loved his onscreen chemistry with Falk. Also, as someone who works in television and is also privy to Falk’s behind-the-scenes battles with the network, I very much enjoyed all the in-jokes. I thought the murder pretty clever and the ensuing investigative beats and Gotcha equally great. Now I now a number of fans bump on Ward’s seeming descent into madness as he bounces back and forth between himself and his alter-ego, Lucerne, but I was totally on board, embraced the lunacy, and, as a result, had a tremendous time with this one.  My revised episode rankings: 1. Forgotten Lady, 2. Now You See Him, 3. Fade in to Murder, 4. Negative Reaction, 5. Any Old Port in a Storm, 6. Double Exposure, 7. A Friend In Deed, 8. Double Shock, 9. A Stitch in Crime, 10. Death Lends a Hand, 11. Suitable for Framing, 12. Publish or Perish, 13. Dagger of the Mind, 14. Requiem for a Falling Star, 15. Prescription: Murder, 16. Murder by the Book/Ransom for a Dead Man (tie), 17. By Dawn’s Early Light, 18. Swan Song, 10. Troubled Waters, 20. Lady in Waiting, 21. An Exercise in Fatality, 22. Etude in Black, 23. Playback, 24. The Most Crucial Game, 25. Blueprint for Murder, 26. Lovely But Lethal, 27. A Deadly State of Mind, 28. The Most Dangerous Match, 29. The Greenhouse Jungle 30. Identity Crisis, 31. Dead Weight, 32. Short Fuse, 33. A Case of Immunity, 34. Candidate for Crime, 35. Mind Over Mayhem, 36. Last Salute to the Commodore. Finally, let’s consider the evidence and judge whether Ward Fowler would be looking at a GUILTY verdict or an ACQUITTAL. I think that, the prints on the bullets are pretty damning. If they can tie that gun to the murder, then I’m sorry to say Lieutenant Lucerne has solved his last case. GUILTY!

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June 26, 2025: The Thursday Report!

We returned to Toronto from out 10-day-stay in Montreal yesterday.  Our flight was delayed but Sharky didn’t seem to mind as he ended up getting a lot of attention from passengers as well as the flight crew.  Finally, we took off – 40 minutes late but thankful to be finally heading home.

The return flight was not without incident however.  As we approached for our landing, we came down HARD, bouncing off the tarmac and then shakily taking flight, ascending rapidly as everyone around us wondered what the hell had happened.  We came around for a second attempt and, this time, the landing stuck – but the brakes were applied with such ferocity that everyone was pitched forward in their seats.  Finally, we taxied, and disembarked.

While heading out after retrieving our checked baggage, we were approached by a middle-aged woman who, clearly frazzled by the landing(s) asked if she could pet Sharky to calm her nerves.  We (and Sharky) were more than happy to oblige and, in no time, she was massaging his ears and looking much more relaxed.

Akemi was absolutely wiped.  She ended up crashing out on the couch for about an hour after lunch while I did some reading (I’m 9 books in to the best crime fiction releases of 2025 and, so far, I’m not all that impressed).

Speaking of Best Of, our Best Of Marathon kicks off Saturday at 3 pm with an X Space Pre-Show that will hopefully see me work out all the bugs ahead of the official marathon launch on Tuesday, July 1st and 9:00 p.m. when we’ll be discussing Andor and Babylon 5.

A reminder that our Columbo rewatch continues tomorrow with the season 6 premiere “Fade in to Murder” guest-starring the legendary William Shatner.

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June 25, 2025: Amazing Covers!

A few that caught my eye this week…

Fantastic Four #33 – cover art by Joshua Cassara

Giant-Size Age of Apocalypse #1 – cover art by Stanley “Artgerm” Lau

Giant-Size Age of Apocalypse #1 – cover art by Ivan Talavera

The Vision & The Scarlet Witch #2 – cover art by Russell Dauterman

Green Arrow #25 – cover art by Taurin Clarke

Justice League Unlimited #8 – cover art by Travis G. Moore

Justice League Unlimited #8 – legacy cover art by George Perez

New History of the DC  Universe #1 – cover art by Michael Cho

New History of the DC Universe #1 – legal cover by Scott Koblish

The Department of Truth #32 – cover art by Letizia Cardonici

We’re Taking Everyone Down With Us #1 – cover art by Carson Thorn

So, which were YOUR favorites?

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June 24, 2025: Set the date for the “Best Of” Pre-Show!

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I’ll be kicking off our “Best Of” marathon with a pre-show Saturday, June 28th at 3 pm ET.

Do you agree with the selections? Disagree? Which shows or episodes do you feel were robbed?

How many of the 32 sci-fi shows selected have I watched from start to finish?  You maybe be surprised.

How many of the 32 sci-fi shows have I not watched at all (not a single episode)?

Set a reminder for this upcoming Space!

I can’t imagine what dancing will look like 1000 years into the future. But the 1966 German sci-fi series Raumpatrouille – Die phantastischen Abenteuer des Raumschiffs Orion posited it would look something like this –

Apparently there are a grand total of only 7 episodes in the entire run of this series.

Perhaps something worth looking into?

Flying back to Toronto tomorrow.  I have a bunch of scripts, pitch decks and zoom meetings immediately on tap!

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June 23, 2025: The Columbo rewatch continues with…Last Salute to the Commodore!

This episode aired May 2, 1976.

“Last Salute to the Commodore” was written as a possible series finale as Peter Falk had made it clear his heart lay in features.

Peter Falk on this episode:: “That really had a different tone to it. Patrick put his stamp on it. There was a slightly different sense of humor to it. He had other wonderful ideas about where to take Columbo. I’m sorry we didn’t get him back to do more.” Me, not so much.

According to director Patrick McGoohan: “When we did that episode the series had been on for a while. We discussed it and said “The Columbo character is fairly well defined. Let’s take the character a step further.” That made Peter apprehensive, but he was willing to try it.” Hmmmm.

Also, according to McGoohan: “I wanted the young guy. That character wasn’t in the original script. It was a special relationship that helped to add a little dimension to Columbo. It’s a tiny other area – an association he hasn’t had before.” Ah, so we have McGoohan to blame for this wholly superfluous character.

Anthony Hopkins was originally offered the role of Charles Clay but turned it down.

This episode marks the second guest appearance of Wilfred Hyde-White. He previously appeared as Tanner the blackmailing butler in “Dagger of the Mind”.

My thoughts on the episode in chronological viewing order…

The boat is named the Titanic? Well that’s ominous.

Man, these are some wild-looking sailing outfits.

Commodore Curmudgeon!

Ah, Robert Vaughn. I’m automatically assuming he’s the murderer.

Diana Baker as the drunken Joanna Clay delivers an alarmingly over-the-top performance.

Oh, did we skip the murder? Apparently so.

Checking the time with the gate guard to establish alibi. Shades of “Playback”!

Dressed as the Commodore, again to establish alibi. Shades of “Ransom for a Dead Man”!

Wow. That’s an abrupt Columbo intro.

Why is Columbo involved if there’s no body?

Columbo has to give up smoking because his wife claims it’s bad for the plants. Checks out.

Is this Theodore character the sidekick long-requested by the network?

“Mac, you’ll probably need some practice driving in case we ever have to give chase.” Wut?

Why are they all squeezed into Columbo’s car?

This sail talk is all gibberish to me: yawl, mizzen boom, jibed self-steering vane!

“Gotta have my eight,”says Columbo. Me too!

What is the point of this shouty-noisy scene? I question director McGoohan’s sense of humor.

Half an hour in and this episode feels strangely discordant.

How could he have not spotted Lisa meditating in plain view?

I do like the scene of Columbo asking for her assistance in crossing his legs.

Columbo takes the call and a seat beside Vaughn, throwing his arm around him. A lot of silliness in this episode.

Aaaaand the wife is drunk again.

Hmmmm. He presents his wife with her brooch he picked up at the murder scene. Is he covering for her? “Don’t drink!”

Aha! The Commodore was dead before he went into the water.

Columbo questions why he would have checked the time with the gate guard since Clay had a much nicer watch. Hmmmm.

Why is Columbo sprawled out on the dock like that? Are we supposed to assume he’s high for the duration of this case?

Where did these stencils come from? How long does it take for Columbo to spell out A-S-S?

Okay, we establish the murder could have scuba swam the length of the channel.

The fortuitous broken watch. Shades of “Candidate for Crime”!

Why is the Sergeant still holding that lamp. Unbearably silly.

Aha! No dust on that belaying pin!

Some huge assumptions lead them conclude this was the scene of the crime.

Oh damn. Charles Clay is dead. THAT is a surprising twist!

All signs point to the wife!

Wait. Is Kittering’s alibi that he was seeing a prostitute at the time of the murder?

Again, wildly over-the-top drunk. One-note performance.

What a weird sequence of Swanny getting up, touching her face, and leaving.

What’s with the SWISH PAN to the Molly J?

The suspects are gathered for a true whodunit payoff.

How did Swanny get off that boat and inside so fast?

So Clay based his entire assumption that his wife killed the Commodore on the simple fact that her brooch was at the scene? Hmmmm.

Why was Clay killed?

The LISA S. She was in love with a man old enough to be her grandfather? Wut?

Who is the cackler in this scene?

We conveniently find out about the new will from Lisa.

And we suddenly find out Swanny would have the most to gain.

While I do like the atypical narrative structure and twist to a whodunit, this Gotcha moment is absolute ass. Why the hell would Swanny say “Tisn’t?”.

“Thought you were going to quit.”
“Not yet. Not yet, Sergeant. Not yet.”
A hint at Falk’s return for another season?

It’s wonderfully appropriate that the finale concludes on This Old Man with Columbo heading off to met his wife at the yacht club.

This episode is considered a low-point in the series by many – which is hard to believe given some of the later installments – and I can empathize to a certain degree. I actually loved the atypical twist that sees the standard howdunit formula subverted so that we suddenly realize we are actually watching a whodunit, but the script and direction are simply not up to the task. The fact that McGoohan went on record to state he essentially had to “fix” the script, including adding the completely superfluous sidekick detective, is pretty galling. Add to that his annoyingly self-indulgent directorial style and you have an episode that is ultimately not only unsatisfying but, at times, downright annoying. It’s no wonder he was not invited back.

Here is my revised episode rankings: 1. Forgotten Lady, 2. Now You See Him, 3. Negative Reaction, 4. Any Old Port in a Storm, 5. Double Exposure, 6. A Friend In Deed, 7. Double Shock, 8. A Stitch in Crime, 9. Death Lends a Hand, 10. Suitable for Framing, 11. Publish or Perish, 12. Dagger of the Mind, 13. Requiem for a Falling Star, 14. Prescription: Murder, 15. Murder by the Book/Ransom for a Dead Man (tie), 16. By Dawn’s Early Light, 17. Swan Song, 18. Troubled Waters, 19. Lady in Waiting, 20. An Exercise in Fatality, 21. Etude in Black, 22. Playback, 23. The Most Crucial Game, 24. Blueprint for Murder, 25. Lovely But Lethal, 26. A Deadly State of Mind, 27. The Most Dangerous Match, 28. The Greenhouse Jungle 29. Identity Crisis, 30. Dead Weight, 31. Short Fuse, 32. A Case of Immunity, 33. Candidate for Crime, 34. Mind Over Mayhem, 35. Last Salute to the Commodore.

Finally, it’s time to consider whether Columbo has enough evidence to send Swanny up the river? Well, considering the case against Swanny is motive and shaky opportunity I would say…T’isn’t. ACQUITTAL. And Swanny sails off into the sunset.

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June 22, 2025: Sharky Sunday!

Sharky preps for travel day…

Sharky travel day….

Return to the Station Cafe…

Out and About…

More outing and abouting…

The struggle is real…

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