Joseph Mallozzi's Blog, page 446

September 22, 2013: Wedding Gifts for the Japanese Bride!

As many of you know, I’ll be heading to Tokyo this November to attend my very first Japanese wedding.  Akemi’s sister is getting married and, to mark the special occasion, I want to make sure I get her the PERFECT wedding gift.

Apparently, cash is traditionally considered the PERFECT wedding gift, but I’d like my particular wedding present to stand out so I was thinking of going a little…of book.

Here are some of my ideas for a really unique wedding gift.  Let me know what you think…

via http://www.dailymail.co.uk

A DOG

ALL THREE STARGATE SERIES ON DVD – THE COMPLETE COLLECTION

http://www.world-visits.blogspot.ca

AN ALASKAN CRUISE

DANE COOK CONCERT TICKETS

http://www.russianviolinschool.ca

VIOLIN LESSONS

http://www.dorkly.com

HIS AND HERS TATTOOS

http://www.getintravel.com

GIFT CERTIFICATE FOR A COUPLE’S SPA CUPPING TREATMENT

What do you think?

September 21, 2013: Now what?! Stargate: Atlantis! The Remnants Art Department Package!

Seriously.  No sooner do I recover from my pulled solar plexus (see previous issues, ed.) than I am now battling a lower back “thing”. Specifically, a lower right hip ache that flares up whenever I shift my weight a certain way – or not.  I don’t remember doing anything that could have caused it – outside of those heavy deadlifts – but that’s not really the point.  The POINT is that I have never been the type of guy to suffer from back issues.  That has always been the “other guy” – you know, the little guy in the office next door who occasionally slips a disc and then either has to sleep on the coffee table or standing up.  Not me!

Today, I received a request for some Atlantis blueprints.  I explained that my collection of blueprints, part of the various art department packages from past Stargate episodes, are incomplete.  Some episodes have plenty of supporting docs, everything from schematics to colorful designs, while others only have a sketch or two.  I’ve been meaning to digitize these files for a while now (maybe a year) but just haven’t had the opportunity to get around to doing so.  I figure the next best thing is to just scan and upload the various packages for your entertainment and edification.

Would you all happen to remember a little Stargate: Atlantis fifth season episode called Remnants?

Tagged: Atlantis, Remnants, science fiction, Science Fiction Television, scifi, scifi television, SF, SF television, SGA, Stargate, Stargate: Atlantis

September 20, 2013: A Portrait of the Girlfriend as a Young Culinary Artist!

I always start with the eyes. Is that sick?

My girlfriend, Akemi, is a culinary artist.  Those of you who followed our adventures in Toronto may recall some of her inspired bento box efforts:

Note the heart-shaped figs above the smiling oatmeal faces.

Angry bird!

Check it out. He’s winking.

Yep, a bear. And even the sidekick egg yolk has personality.

Cardinal Snowman

Why is this bear so sad?

Like other artists, she works in oils – mainly olive.   And her creative endeavors aren’t limited to breakfasts alone:

Representing, at the time, all four of my dogs.

Veggie mosaic

Home made cookies – and packaging – for Rob’s dog, Oscar.

Love-struck okonomiyaki

Hell, she even has to improve on food that doesn’t require any actual cooking:

???

So I suppose it should come as no surprise that Akemi has started her own youtube cooking channel.  My favorite part of these videos aren’t the recipes per se, but her kooky interactions with her oblivious sous-chef, Bubba:

And hear I’ve been wasting my Wednesday nights watching Masterchef.

Today’s entry is dedicated to the memory of long-time Stargate fans Kelly Hurt and Thomas Smethurst.

Tagged: Cute Food, kawaii food

September 19, 2013: MY Top 20 Favorite Animated Characters!

20. Stimpy (Ren and Stimpy)

19. Dory (Finding Nemo)

18. Yogi Bear (Yogi Bear)

17. Totoro (My Neighbor Totoro)

16. Bullwinkle J. Moose (Rocky and Bullwinkle)

15. Dug the Dog (Up!)

14. Stewie (Family Guy)

13. Gintoki (Gintama)

12. James P. Sullivan (Monsters Inc.)

11. Aardvark (The Pink Panther Show)

10. The Tick (The Tick)

9. Bender (Futurama)

8. Bobby Hill (King of the Hill)

7. Barney Rubble (The Flintstones)

6. Bugs Bunny (Looney Tunes)

5. Gromit (Wallace and Gromit)

4. Eric Cartman (South Park)

3. Fred Flintstone (The Flintstones)

2. Daffy Duck (Looney Tunes)

1. Homer Simpson (The Simpsons)

Agree?  Disagree?  Anyone missing?

Today’s entry is dedicated to blog regulars gforce and Debra.  Happy belated birthday!

Tagged: animated characters, cartoon characters, Top 20 Favorite Animated Characters

September 18, 2013: MY Top 20 Favorite Animated Characters!

20. Stimpy (Ren and Stimpy)

19. Dory (Finding Nemo)

18. Yogi Bear (Yogi Bear)

17. Totoro (My Neighbor Totoro)

16. Bullwinkle J. Moose (Rocky and Bullwinkle)

15. Dug the Dog (Up!)

14. Stewie (Family Guy)

13. Gintoki (Gintama)

12. James P. Sullivan (Monsters Inc.)

11. Aardvark (The Pink Panther Show)

10. The Tick (The Tick)

9. Bender (Futurama)

8. Bobby Hill (King of the Hill)

7. Barney Rubble (The Flintstones)

6. Bugs Bunny (Looney Tunes)

5. Gromit (Wallace and Gromit)

4. Eric Cartman (South Park)

3. Fred Flintstone (The Flintstones)

2. Daffy Duck (Looney Tunes)

1. Homer Simpson (The Simpsons)

Agree?  Disagree?  Anyone missing?

Today’s entry is dedicated to blog regulars gforce and Debra.  Happy belated birthday!

Tagged: animated characters, cartoon characters, Top 20 Favorite Animated Characters

September 18, 2013: A sneak peek to whet/kill your appetite! And my pre-Birthday celebrations kick off!

Yes, feast your eyes on the trailer for this Monday’s Supermovie of the Week Club selection: Black Scorpion.

THRILL to the cue card acting!

REVEL in such classic lines as “Mind if I drop in?” after our heroine literally DROPS THROUGH A SKYLIGHT!

REJOICE in the sassy comical sidekick you’ll no doubt want to kill by movie’s end!

WONDER why all the villains in these old superhero movies sound like Darth Vader’s over-eager understudy!

Circle the date on your calendar (provided you still actually use an actual hang-on-your-wall calendar and don’t simply make use of your computer’s calendar function)!   Monday, September 23rd!

Hey!  Look at what I received in the mail today from Akemi’s family in Japan!

Fortunately, the card came with easy to follow instructions.

And, in addition, this awesome umbrella:

My birthday is less than a month away!  Start planning now to avoid (my) disappointment!

September 17, 2013: Since you asked – reading/watching!

Over on the right sidebar of this blog, I keep an running update on what I’ve watching and reading, or watched and read.  Lately, some readers have asked how I’ve enjoyed a few of the titles that grace those respective lists…

READ/WATCHED:

Friday, by Robert Heinlein

Strong mixed feelings about this one.  On the one hand, I really like the world Heinlein has created here with corporate players, conspiracies, balkanized U.S., and strange but completely logical family units.  On the other hand, the author has his fairly well developed and believable character make some highly questionable choices, the most ridiculously outrageous being her decision to forgive and marry one of the men who raped her at the beginning of the novel.  An interesting albeit incohesive story about belonging and what makes us human – undone by a truly horrible ending.

A is For Alibi, by Sue Grafton

My friend Carl claims he “doesn’t have the zombie gene” and, as a result, can’t enjoy zombie movies or shows.  Conversely, I suspect that I don’t have the mystery gene because, try as I might, I just can’t seem to get into the genre.  I’ve tried, checking out a dozen highly recommended titles and I’ve yet to be wowed.  This latest is a fine book.  It would simply seem that I’m not a mystery guy.

Bel Canto, by Ann Patchett

An upscale party in a South American country is crashed by rebels who take the guests hostage.  Demands are made, time passes, and relationships form.   It’s an interesting premise that doesn’t quite live up to its potential, ultimately undone by characters who never really acquire genuine depth.

Haunted, by Chuck Pahniuk

The author of Fight Club offers up a collection of truly unsettling short stories, some poems, and bizarre running through-line involving a demented writers’ workshop that left me cold.  But those stories!  Like most collections, there are hits and misses, but those that hit will stay with you – like the first tale, Guts which, according to Palahniuk, has caused grown men to faint during public readings.

The Postmoral, by Drew Magary

Now this one I loved!  In the not too distant future, scientists discover a cure for aging.  ”Immortality, however, comes with its own unique problems-including evil green people, government euthanasia programs, a disturbing new religious cult, and other horrors.”  Brilliant!

Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore, by Robin Sloan

A Davinci Code for the literary crowd, it’s a novel filled with puzzles, global conspiracies, and code-breaking software applications. Ultimately, the mystery at the heart of the book, less “life or death” and more nefarious book club goings-on, failed to capture my interest.

Chew: Bad Apples, by John Layman and Robert Guillory

The seventh installment in the ongoing series revolving around a cibopathic federal agent capable of receiving psychic impressions from whatever he tastes.  I like it because it’s unique.  There’s nothing quite like it out there.  Of course what makes it unique, particularly some of its over-the-top elements, make it extremely challenging to translate to the small screen – which was something producers looking to do just that presumably realized.  The series took a bewilderingly dark turn a couple of volumes back and I’m not sure I like it.  No, scratch that.  I’m sure I don’t like it.

The Family (Malavita), by Tonino Benacquista

Now a major motion picture!  That quickly came and went.  I checked this book out, a translation of the international bestseller, because it shares some elements with a project I’ve been working on.  Given the fact that the author is Italian, I’m surprised the mob world isn’t more grounded and believable.  Instead, it feels like the research materials for this book were comprised of old gangster movies.

Doubt, by Yoshiki Tonogai

I’ll readily admit that I picked up this manga on the basis of the creepy-looking cover alone.  While the set-up is interesting (a group of teens wake up in an abandoned building where they become unwilling participants in a game of cat and mouse – or, more appropriately, rabbit and wolf), the series falls victim to the same issues that bedevil most anime and mangas: suspect logic and developments that stretch credulity.

Seinfeld

To be honest, while I liked Seinfeld when it was on the air, I didn’t love it.  But I do now, having a whole new appreciation for the show after re-watching its first four seasons.  Sure, some of the fashion and technology may be a little dated, but the humor is as dead-on now as it was twenty years ago.  It’s not all that surprising to note that most of the best episodes were written by Larry David.

Broadchurch

I heard it described as “The U.K. version of Twin Peaks” – clearly by someone who never watched Twin Peaks.  It’s a fairly straightforward limited mystery series with the added bonus of some terrific performances headlined by David Tennant.  His character is great. Unfortunately, the mystery at the heart of this miniseries isn’t. There’s no real progression to the whodunit, merely a bunch of random red herrings scattered throughout.  Rather than build to a reveal or through our lead detective’s sleuthing, the answers are simply offered up by happenstance: a critical piece of evidence in the latop and, ultimately, the identity of the killer who essentially gives him/herself up.  Odd.

September 16, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews The Crow!

Full disklosure: Monster not a fan of mimes.  It be a phobia me have (like heights, tight places, and Celine Dion) dat go all de way back to monster’s childhood.  Me often try to figure out why dis be, and always come up wit tree possible reasons: 1. Mimes be second-cousins of clowns who, everyone can agree, be creepy mofo’s.  2. Mimes never speak clearly mean dey have someting to hide.  3. When monster just a kid, me get punched in eye by drunken mime.  For dese reasons, me tink me not like mimes.  Also because, for many years, street mime dat perform outside monster’s apartment building always doing invisible wall gag.  It not so bad except dis particular invisible wall be bathroom stall.

Anyhoo, all dis to say: me not like mimes.  So when presented wit dis movie about an undead mime (!), monster about as enthusiastic as Grover at a waxing bar.

But dis movie surprise monster.  In a good way.  Not like sucker punch in de eye.

Let’s do the time warp agaaaaiiiiin!

The Crow be a classic revenge tale.  Boy meets Girl.  Boy loses girl – and life.  Boy comes back from de grave and kill a bunch of bad guys.

After he and his girlfriend get killed by bunch of thugs, Eric Draven take it very personal.  He crawl out of his grave, don pancake make-up, and become…Super Mime.  No, scratch dat.  He become…De Crow!  But, er, why he wear pancake make-up?  He not exaktly trying to hide his identity.  He tell everyone who he really be: cops, a kid, de bad guys he about to kill.  It not as if police can go arrest him at his new cemetery loft.

He be good at killing AND art.

Drawing inspiration – and power – from a crow, Eric, aka De Crow, start exacting revenge on thugs responsible for ruining his life.  One by one, he pick dem off, skewering one wit multiple knives, pincushioning another wit needles, taping another into his car before sending it speeding off a dock AND blowing it up, culminating in big shoot-out and Gothic rooftop swordfight in dead of night and driving rain!  It all presented as pretty straightforward revenge fare, but it very satisfying because all de elements work.  Solid direktion, a good skript dat only occasionally cheesy, and some very good performances.

He like it spicy!

Movie work so well because it, at it’s heart, be a story about love and loss.  De Crow not be your typical vigilante but a tragik figure.  Dis conveyed in his backstory, his love for his girlfriend, in brilliantly broody performance by Brandon Lee, and in his relationships wit two secondary characters: a by-de-book cop and a street kid wit a chip on her shoulder.  On de surface, de latter seem as cliched as de movie’s plot but, like de plot, it transcend formula and stereotypes to deliver a film wit surprising heart and depth.

Verdikt: Puts almost every other bloated, big budget superhero movie to shame.

Rating: 8.5 chocolate chippee cookies!

Tagged: Cookie Monster, Cookie Monster film reviews, Cookie Monster movie reviews, Cookie Monster reviews The Crow, SuperMovie of the Week Club, The Crow

September 15, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews The Crow!

Full disklosure: Monster not a fan of mimes.  It be a phobia me have (like heights, tight places, and Celine Dion) dat go all de way back to monster’s childhood.  Me often try to figure out why dis be, and always come up wit tree possible reasons: 1. Mimes be second-cousins of clowns who, everyone can agree, be creepy mofo’s.  2. Mimes never speak clearly mean dey have someting to hide.  3. When monster just a kid, me get punched in eye by drunken mime.  For dese reasons, me tink me not like mimes.  Also because, for many years, street mime dat perform outside monster’s apartment building always doing invisible wall gag.  It not so bad except dis particular invisible wall be bathroom stall.

Anyhoo, all dis to say: me not like mimes.  So when presented wit dis movie about an undead mime (!), monster about as enthusiastic as Grover at a waxing bar.

But dis movie surprise monster.  In a good way.  Not like sucker punch in de eye.

Let’s do the time warp agaaaaiiiiin!

The Crow be a classic revenge tale.  Boy meets Girl.  Boy loses girl – and life.  Boy comes back from de grave and kill a bunch of bad guys.

After he and his girlfriend get killed by bunch of thugs, Eric Draven take it very personal.  He crawl out of his grave, don pancake make-up, and become…Super Mime.  No, scratch dat.  He become…De Crow!  But, er, why he wear pancake make-up?  He not exaktly trying to hide his identity.  He tell everyone who he really be: cops, a kid, de bad guys he about to kill.  It not as if police can go arrest him at his new cemetery loft.

He be good at killing AND art.

Drawing inspiration – and power – from a crow, Eric, aka De Crow, start exacting revenge on thugs responsible for ruining his life.  One by one, he pick dem off, skewering one wit multiple knives, pincushioning another wit needles, taping another into his car before sending it speeding off a dock AND blowing it up, culminating in big shoot-out and Gothic rooftop swordfight in dead of night and driving rain!  It all presented as pretty straightforward revenge fare, but it very satisfying because all de elements work.  Solid direktion, a good skript dat only occasionally cheesy, and some very good performances.

He like it spicy!

Movie work so well because it, at it’s heart, be a story about love and loss.  De Crow not be your typical vigilante but a tragik figure.  Dis conveyed in his backstory, his love for his girlfriend, in brilliantly broody performance by Brandon Lee, and in his relationships wit two secondary characters: a by-de-book cop and a street kid wit a chip on her shoulder.  On de surface, de latter seem as cliched as de movie’s plot but, like de plot, it transcend formula and stereotypes to deliver a film wit surprising heart and depth.

Verdikt: Puts almost every other bloated, big budget superhero movie to shame.

Rating: 8.5 chocolate chippee cookies!

Tagged: Cookie Monster, Cookie Monster film reviews, Cookie Monster movie reviews, Cookie Monster reviews The Crow, SuperMovie of the Week Club, The Crow

September 15, 2013: Sunday malaise!

Time for reflection (via cktravelblog.wordpress.com)

Sigh.  How infinitely disappointing.  All the research and effort I’ve put into my fantasy football teams has yielded depressingly paltry results.  A double loss this weekend have put me at the bottom of both leagues.  I think I need  another hobby. Maybe I’ll switch focus to more practical pursuits like, say, studying Japanese – especially given Akemi’s recent decision to start learning Italian.  She’s started yesterday, studied for several hours today, and has already made incredible progress.  Magnifico!

And, to top it off, Akemi also made brownies!

Also, there’s that script I’ve been working on.  You’ll be pleased – or indifferent – to hear that, following a protracted creative impasse, I’ve forged ahead and actually started to pick up steam.  43 pages down and, oh, twenty-ish to go.  My aim to be extra-productive this weekend.  I have a couple of phoners to discuss upcoming projects in addition to some careful consideration of an established SF property (No, not Stargate.  It’s a novel.) that a production company is looking to develop into a ongoing television series.  Our mission, if we choose to accept it: Come up with our unique take on the potential show.  To be honest, this one is going to be a little tricky.

Hey, blog reader Samantha Johns reminds us that, while there are many of needy dogs out there in search of a good home, there are plenty of needy cats out there as well: https://www.facebook.com/hazel.rescue?fref=ts

Taking a page out of The Amazing Race’s highly unspectacular Family Edition, this upcoming season of Survivor, Survivor: Blood vs. Water, will see past contestants competing against loved ones.  Ho hum.  The new season of Survivor premieres Wednesday, September 18th.