Joseph Mallozzi's Blog, page 449

August 24, 2013: Upcoming Under-the-Radar Movies To Look Forward To! Or Not!

BOUNTY KILLER

Release Date: September 6, 2013

What it’s about: Bounty hunters compete to take down white collar criminals in a near future run by corporations.

What it’s got working for it: Looks like silly, over-the-top fun.

What’s it’s got going against it: Perhaps a little too goofy.  Also, some of the performances feel very iffy.

OUT OF THE CLEAR BLUE SKY

Release Date: September 6, 2013

What it’s about: Cantor Fitzgerald which lost 658 employees in the September 11th attacks.

What it’s got working for it: A poignant study of those affected by the tragedy.

What’s it’s got going against it: In certain ways, a painful movie to watch.

BLUE CAPRICE

Release Date: September 13, 2013

What it’s about: A psychological thriller that explores the relationship between the young boy and the father figure responsible for the Beltway Sniper attacks.

What it’s got working for it: The promise of answers for the seemingly senseless killing spree.

What’s it’s got going against it: If Fruitvale Station taught us anything, it’s that fascinating true-life source material doesn’t always guarantee a great movie.

GMO OMG 

Release Date: September 13, 2013

What it’s about: A documentary about genetically modified foods and its effects on our world.

What it’s got working for it: An important subject that effects us all directly.

What’s it’s got going against it: Documentaries like this one run the risk of being so slanted that they can undermine their credibility.

INFORMANT

Release Date: September 13, 2013

What it’s about: The story of Brandon Darby, a radical left-wing activist who became an FBI informant.

What it’s got working for it: A fascinating story.

What’s it’s got going against it: Again, it depends.  Is this a straight-forward documentary, or does the filmmaker have an axe to grind?

A SINGLE SHOT

Release Date: September 20, 2013

What it’s about: A hunting accident leads to a killing, a cover-up, and a box of cash. It all culminates in a game of cat-and-mouse in the backwoods of West Virginia.

What it’s got working for it: Some solid actors including the Sam Rockwell and William H. Macy.

What’s it’s got going against it: Could be a white knuckle suspense thriller – or an entry from the seen-it school of filmmaking.  Hard to tell from the trailer.

C.O.G.

Release Date: September 20, 2013

What it’s about: A young man travels to Oregon to work on an apple farm.

What it’s got working for it: Based on the works of the hilarious David Sedaris.

What’s it’s got going against it: The trailer looks very un-Sedaris and pretty un-funny.

THE COLONY

Release Date: September 20, 2013

What it’s about: In a second ice age of the near future, a small group leaves the relative comfort of their underground society to investigate the mysterious happenings at a sister colony.

What it’s got working for it:  A great half a premise: the ice age, the mystery, the investigation….

What’s it’s got going against it: And a disappointing half a premise: vampires?

PLUS ONE

Release Date: September 20, 2013

What it’s about: Three friends experience a temporal disturbance at a house party.

What it’s got working for it: I love a good time travel story.

What’s it’s got going against it: But only when it makes sense.  Which it rarely ever does.  And, yes, I’m looking at you Looper.

AS I LAY DYING

Release Date: September 27, 2013

What it’s about: A family crosses the Mississippi in order to deliver their mother’s body for burial in her hometown.

What it’s got working for it: Based on the novel by William Faulkner.

What’s it’s got going against it: I’m guessing Faulkner didn’t write the screenplay. The trailer looks a little bleak…and incomprehensible.

Tagged: A Single Shot, As I Lay Dying, Blue Caprice, Bounty Killer, C.O.G., GMO OMG, Informant, Out of the Clear Blue Sky, Plus One, The Colony

August 24, 2013: Upcoming Movie Releases To Look Forward To! Or not!

HELL BABY

Release Date: September 6, 2013

What it’s about: A horror-comedy from the creators or Reno 911 that sees an expectant couple move into a haunted house

What it’s got working for it:  Cameos from some funny people including The League’s Paul Scheer.

What’s it’s got going against it: The humor doesn’t look particular “fresh”.

RIDDICK

Release Date: September 6, 2013

What it’s about: On a desolate world, escaped convict Riddick is pursued by bounty hunters

What it’s got working for it:  The first movie in the series, Pitch Black, was surprisingly good.

What’s it’s got going against it: The second movie in the series, The Chronicles of Riddick, was disappointingly bad.

PRISONERS

Release Date: September 20, 2013

What it’s about: When the prime suspect in his daughter’s disappearance is released for lack of evidence, a father takes matters into his own hands.

What it’s got working for it:  A solid cast (Jackman, Gyllenhal, Bello) hold the promise of something deeper.

What’s it’s got going against it: A t.v. movie of the week premise.

RUSH

Release Date: September 20, 2013

What it’s about: The rivalry between Grand Prix drivers.

What it’s got working for it:  The fact that it’s based on true events makes it all the more intriguing.

What’s it’s got going against it: Fan of the Grand Prix?  Me neither.

CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS 2

Release Date: September 20, 2013

What it’s about: The sequel to Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs sees inventor, Flint Lockwood, battling his latest unintended creation: food-animals = foodimals!

What it’s got working for it:  The trailer offers some mighty inventive visuals and foodimals.

What’s it’s got going against it: Does it offer much beyond the amusing puns and wordplay?  Hard to judge from the trailer.

DON JON

Release Date: September 27, 2013

What it’s about: Media-perpetuated expectations clash when a player and  a hopeless romantic connect.

What it’s got working for it:  Joseph Gordon-Levitt is a very good actor.

What’s it’s got going against it: No idea if he’s an equally good writer.  Also – oof! Those phony Jersey Shore accents!

Tagged: Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2, Don Jon, Hell Baby, Prisoners, Riddick, Rush

August 23, 2013: News of note!

On the strength of his brilliant performance in Daredevil, Ben Affleck has been cast as the not-so-Dark Knight in upcoming Batman/Superman movie.  I know, I know. He’s an Academy Award winner!  True, but I feel the need to point out that it was for directing, not acting.  Is this another sign of the disconnect between the big studios and audiences?  Would love to hear your thoughts.  The 50+ Greatest Tweets about Ben Affleck’s casting as Batman

Well, I was at the hospital today to get that suspected pulled solar plexus checked out.  Again.  It’s been almost a week since I started experiencing some mild discomfort just above my sternum (and under my right ribcage) so I figured it was time Akemi demanded I go get it checked out.  So I did.  And spent a long while waiting for an ultrasound.  How long?  So long I actually started AND FINISHED a book, then read the first 100 pages of another before giving up and heading home. For what it’s worth, the doctor suspects a pulled muscle.  And results of my blood test were good – in some instances great!  I was told someone would be calling me on Monday about coming by for that ultrasound – provided I still felt it was necessary.  I think I’m good.  Of course, Akemi might have something to say about that.  She seems pretty adamant I “should do ultra-man sound!”.

John Travolta as Forrest Gump?  Matthew Broderick as Walter White?  Rhoda the Immortal Waitress?  http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_591_27-insane-but-true-early-versions-famous-characters/

The TMZ newsroom fields calls from angry Beliebers: TMZ Complaint Dept. — ATTACK OF THE BELIEBERS     

I need this app: Scientists Reading Minds With Software That Interprets Brain Scans…

Not only are they bad for you.  They’re also BAD for you: Cronut burger to blame in 150 CNE illnesses

How can you be sure the civet-poop coffee you’re drinking was actually excreted by an actual civet?  Science puts your mind at ease: Kopi Luwak: Rare, gourmet civet-poop coffee can finally be …

Now this is a great story.  Woman reunited with her long-lost dog – five years later!: http://news.yahoo.com/video/woman-reunited-stolen-dog-5-035809289.html

Heading home!

A happy ending for Dutch, the pitbull service dog who was under euthanasia order in Montrose, Colorado.  The case went to trial and, today, a jury found the pooch not guilty of the charges against him.  He is now back home with his family.  You can read all about it over on the dedicated Save Dutch facebook page:

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Save-Dutch/431867163549311

Dutch (and his family) were represented by The Lancaster Law Firm that traveled all the way from Arkansas to defend him:

https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Lancaster-Law-Firm-PLLC/281001605249025?ref=ts&fref=ts

August 22, 2013: Recent Recommended Reads!

Recommended reads:

A Terror by Jeffrey Ford

The latest release by author Jeffrey Ford is a nightmarish novelette that offers a supernaturally speculative take on the inspiration for one of Emily Dickinson’s most famous poems, “Because I could not stop for Death”.  Emily Dickinson, awakens to an empty house, her parents and sister inexplicably gone.  She ventures outside to investigate and accepts a  carriage ride from a seemingly noble stranger.  But there’s more to the mysterious Mr. Quill than meets the eye and soon, a dark bargain is struck.  It’s a deal of a lifetime – in this case, 25 years – but in order to collect, she must do some collecting of her own.  It’s macabre tale involving necromancy, a mother’s love, and most obstinate child. Craftily creepy.

Ford is a breathtakingly inventive storyteller, comfortable and captivating in a variety of genres: science fiction, fantasy, steampunk, and horror.    Check out his other work here: http://www.well-builtcity.com or read A Terror by following this link: A Terror

Science Fiction Hall of Fame (Volume One 1929-1964) edited by Robert Silverberg

Ah, natsukashii, as the Japanese would say.  This collection of SF classics, assembled and edited by the great Robert Silverberg (Lord Valentine’s Castle, Dying Inside), is comprised of 26 of the greatest Golden Age SF tales ever written as selected by the Science Fiction Writers of America.  Among the memorable entries: Ray Bradbury’s Mars is Heaven (which I believe, uh, inspired an episode of Space 1999), Arthur C. Clarke’s The Nine Billion Names of God, and Tom Godwin’s much discussed and still debated The Cold Equations.

I’m presently trying to track down volume II (parts A and B).

Difficult Men by Brett Martin

Weird, insecure, ego-maniacal, and vindictive.  No, I’m not talking about the colorful characters in those award-winning cable shows.  I’m referring to the creators of those colorful characters in those award-winning cable shows.  This book offers us insight into the creative heavy-weights who ran game-changing productions like The Sopranos, Deadwood, Mad Men, and The Wire.   Clearly, there’s a very fine line between genius and, well, if not insanity then surely eccentricity and arrogance.

Wise Guy by Nicholas Pileggi

The quintessential mobster biography and the inspiration for the movie Goodfellas,  Wise Guy is a riveting read that chronicles the life of wiseguy Henry Hill, from his modest working-class beginnings through his career in organized crime to, perhaps most challenging of all, his entry into the witness protection program.  Impossible to put down.

The Ice Man: Confessions of a Mafia Contract Killer by Philip Carlo

Keeping with the organized crime theme, The Ice Man is the deeply disturbing, unflinching account of the violent life of Richard “The Ice Man” Kulinski, a mob enforcer and hit man.  Not quite as engaging as Wiseguy for the simply reason that, unlike Hill, Kulinski elicits very little in the way of sympathy or compassion.  Shocking stuff.

The Superior Foes of Spiderman by Nick Spencer

My favorite ongoing title focuses on the flip side of superheroes – their occasionally evil, often devious, usually frustrated adversaries: the supervillians.  A well-written, character-driven series.  And a hell of a lot of fun.

Tagged: A Terror, Brett Martin, Difficult Men, Jeffrey Ford, Nicholas Pileggi, Nick Spencer, Philip Carlo, Robert Silverberg, The Ice Man: Confessions of a Mafia Contract Killer, The Science Fiction Hall of Fame, The Superior Foes of Spiderman, Wise Guy

July 21, 2013: Hey, you know what would make a great television series?! And some pointed comments on the sad state of filmdom by today’s guest bloggers!

Hey, you know what would make a great television series?

Do tell!  But here are the parameters:

1) It should be something in the scifi or fantasy genre.  In the case of the latter, ONLY if it is completely different from Game of Thrones (as it would invite the inevitable unflattering comparisons).

2) It must have the potential to sustain a rich storyline (oh, about five seasons worth).

3) It should be set in our contemporary world or in a very near future setting.

4) It should not be expensive to produce (ie. huge space battles, alien armies, etc.)

5) Most importantly, it should have, at its heart, some very interesting characters.

Any novels, short stories, comic books, or graphic novels immediately come to mind?

Looking forward to checking out your suggestions.

My ex used to complain I was too critical of movies.  Some of my friends complain that I am too critical of movies.  Hell, many of YOU complain I’m too critical of movies.  In my defense, I just have a problem with lazy writing.  And, clearly, I’m not the only one.  Yesterday, I received the following email from my writing partner, Paul, who had evidently just finished watching The Dark Knight Rises.  And, boy, was he pissed:

“Can you please explain Bane’s plan to me?  Anyone?  Please?  He told Bruce Wayne that he was going to make him watch Gotham burn, as a fulfillment of the weird martial arts cult that was in the first movie.  ’Cause Gotham is a symbol of human corruption, right?  So he kidnapped a Russian scientist, the only one in the world who knew how to turn Wayne’s fusion reactor into a weapon, expressly for this purpose – ie, to blow up the city.  Okay, cool.  But then when he seized the city, and the reactor, he didn’t blow it up.  Instead, he trapped all the police underground, then opened the prisons, armed the criminals and let them take over the city as part of some kind of any-corruption campaign.  Wait…uh, what?  Was that supposed to be sarcastic?  Was he creating a utopia or bringing Gotham to it’s knees?  If the former, why did he say he was going to make Bruce watch it burn?  He should have said, I’m going to make you watch Gotham become a perfect society free of corruption and run by the people.  Although, really it wasn’t the people, but criminals he let out of jail and armed.  Um, shit, wait, it must have been sarcastic.  But then he really did want to destroy Gotham, so why not just set off the bomb?

And how come his Russian scientist, though the only person in the world smart enough to weaponize the reactor, was not smart enough to realize it was unstable and would eventually blow up on its own anyway, when the Morgan Freeman character figured it out no problem?

And what exactly did Bruce do differently when he finally was able to jump across that gap and climb out of the pit?  Jump with hope?  Jump without hope?  What the fuck was that old guy mumbling about? The mix was so bad I couldn’t understand half of what anyone said.  I suppose if I’d been watching it in a studio with Dolby 7.1 surround I wouldn’t have had any problems, but like an ignorant plebe I just watched it with the sound that comes out of my t.v.  Anyway, when he finally jumped across, he didn’t even take a running start, but somehow managed to cross a gap he couldn’t cross previously with a good full head of steam.  Why, exactly?

And lastly, am I really the only person in the world who still asks these kinds of question?.  Should I just go ahead a get that lobotomy so I can enjoy movies again? Because, I swear to god there was actually a time when I enjoyed movies.  Or did I just dream that?”

Heh.  I responded by directing him to Cookie Monster’s review, and that Honest Trailer for The Dark Knight Rises.

Then, Rob Cooper weighed in with his thoughts with this admission: “  I stopped watching most Hollywood movies years ago.  They are empty vapid cheap noisy and stupid.   No, no one cares.” and proceeded to liken them to fast food.

Paul’s response: “Yeah, but where did it all go wrong?  Hollywood movies used to be good, didn’t they?  Even summer action blockbusters.  Nowadays people say “it’s one of those movies where you just have to turn off your brain and go along for the ride.”  But when did that start?  When did that become okay?  There’s a difference between suspension of disbelief and just accepting shit that doesn’t make sense. Are there giant plot holes in Jaws, and Close Encounters of the Third Kind that I’m not remembering?  Or Die Hard?  Or Aliens?  Star Wars (the original) was arguably a little silly and, if you believe the legends, a complete rip off of some asian movie no one’s ever heard of [The Hidden Fortress - editor], but it basically adhered to an internal logic, didn’t it?  Or was I just way more innocent back then?

What happened?  When did we start down this road?  Was it when Indiana Jones somehow miraculously survived on the outside of that Nazi submarine?  A lot of people have defended that, saying it was forgivable because it was in the over-the-top spirit of the adventure being portrayed, and maybe they’re right, but in that moment did Spielberg unwittingly plant a terrible seed?  Did a generation of film makers look at that and say “shit, that didn’t really make sense, so why should I bother?”

To which Rob replied: “I have always contended that great movies and really bad movies have been and are made by individuals with a strong singular vision able to rise above the river of shit rushing at them from studios.  And it’s usually earlier in their career when they are still listening to a few smart people around them.  You do point out some of the great films of the past but there was a whole shitload of crap made back then too.  Didn’t you scoff a little when Superman flew backwards around the Earth to turn back time and save Lois?  The problem now is that Hollywood movies are rarely made by individuals anymore or if they are, they are made by 300 pound gorillas who have reached a point of impenetrable hubris.  Corporations now produce most movies.  And they would argue that tent poles have gotten so expensive that you couldn’t possible trust 300 million dollars to one person’s opinion. Further to Hollywood’s sad demise is the failure of anything that even attempted originality this past summer.  Of course corporations would call anything without a 2 or 3 in the title original.  Pacific Rim had nothing original in it.  It was a blender mash up of previous brand name crap. I do think there is a bit of us getting older and the older you get the more things wear out.  Been there done that.  I watch my kids consume a variety of things, music, books, movies, TV,  that I see as reused garbage but they are seeing fresh and new for the first time.  I also have been going back to watch some of my favorites from the past with them only to find they are pale and lame and do not hold up at all.  They look at me like I’m crazy and I feel like my grandfather ranting about times when coffee was a nickel and they walked ten miles barefoot though the snow to school.”

Seriously.  LIfe’s too short to watch crap.

On that note, I’d like to remind everyone that our Supermovie of the Week Club reconvene next Monday with another super-themed film.  We’re going all the way back to 1978 for this gem: the epic mystical masterpiece…Dr. Strange!

No, they sure don’t make ‘em like they used to.

And, yes, he IS happy to see you.  VERY happy.

August 20, 2013: Snow Monkeys 2013 League of Apathy Edition!

My string of bad luck has continued unabated and required my setting up appointments with an electrician, a home repairman, a home alarm specialist, and a vet.  The latter is for Lulu who is on antibiotics right now on account of a swollen paw.  My visit to the doctor (to get that solar plexus pull checked out) proved thankfully uneventful.  After proceeding to press and prod the tender area under my ribcage to no discernible effect, the doctor declared it a muscle issue and sent me on my way.  I suppose that, technically, we could put that in the Good Luck column although I would argue that the bad luck pain which precipitated the visit to the clinic which makes it a push.

Yo! Pick me!

On the bright side, I took part in my annual fantasy football draft this evening.   As a result of The Great Fantasy Schism of 2012, I am now playing in two leagues.  The League of Apathy, made up of a bunch of Stargate alums, was up first tonight.  I landed the first overall pick and, one hour and fifteen later, once the dust had settled, my 2013 Snow Monkeys looked something like this:

QB: Andrew Luck

RB1: Adrian Peterson

RB2: Maurice-Jones Drew

WR!: Demaryius Thomas

WR2: Torrey Smith

WR3: Steve Smith

TE: Martellus Bennett

FLEX: Lamar Miller

KICKER: Didn’t draft one

DEFENSE: Arizona Cardinals

BENCH

RB Danny Woodhead

RB Shane Vereen

RB Daryl Richardson

WR Vincent Brown

WR DeAndre Hopkins

WR Michael Floyd

WR Brandon LaFell

I’m nervous about MJD and, while I’m not all that enthusiastic about Bennett, I could have done worse.  Love my bench though.

So, what do you think?  When are your respective draft dates?

Russel asks: “This Saturday (Aug 24), my wife and I will be in Vancouver, for the first time.  In your humble opinion, what would be the 2 or 3 “must do / must see” things while we are in town?”

Answer: Hmmm.  That’s a tough one because I’m definitely not the “must do/must see” type.  I hear Stanley Park is beautiful (there’s supposed to be some sort of party commemorating the park’s 125th year this weekend) and the Grouse Grind is a to-do if you’re into hiking.  There’s also a garlic festival in Richmond on Sunday (Sharing Farm,   Terra Nova Park, 2631 Westminster Hwy | Free |) and the weekly Food Cart Fest continues this Sunday between 12-5 at the Olympic Village.  If you want to check out some of the local eats, I’d recommend La Tacqueria (2549 Cambie St), Meat & Bread – get the porchetta sandwich (370 Cambie St,), Campagnolo (1020 Main St,), Beta 5 Chocolate (413 Industrial Ave), and Cadeaux Bakery (172 Powell St).

August 19, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Galaxy Quest!

Dis movie remind Monster of time me, Big Bird, and Grover attend furry convention (Why not?  We furry…AND fuzzy!) figuring it be great opportunity to network wit other muppets.  But, sadly, no aktual muppets in attendance – just bunch of frisky imposters.  At one point, horny wookie chase monster into utility closet and me have to crawl thru vent to eskape.   Me lose guest badge and pants and not able to get back in, so miss parade, furry rave, and motivational speech by H.R. Pufnstuf.  Big Bird get into fistfight wit Magilla Gorilla impersonator and spend night in jail.  Grover bang Candy Kong.  Anyhoo…

Requirements for casting lead: Great hair?  Check!  Great chin?  Check?  Great actor?  Well…two out of three not bad.

Galaxy Quest either a love letter, or scathing editorial, of SF t.v. fandom.  Which way you interpret film will dictate your response.  Monster not a huge scifi fan.  When me see police box, me not automatically tink time travel device but good place for stacking policemen or emergency porta-potty.  And while me not know able to tell difference between a Minosian and a Mintakan, me familiar enough wit likes of Dr. Spock, Bubba Fat, and Lando Kardassian to get humor of de movie and NOT be offended.

Space babe!

Movie begin at fan convention for much-loved SF series, Galaxy Quest dat similar to t.v. version of Phantom Menace, though not as cheesy.  All former cast present for panel and autograph session including douchebag former lead.  But science fiction becomes science fact when former t.v. Commander get enlisted to help group of aliens resist machinations of evil lizard beings.   And before you can say “Grabthar’s Hammer”, he be joined by rest of his reluctant co-stars in an epic space-faring adventure.

Give him a hand.  He’s British!

De movie poke fun at scifi t.v. tropes as our fish-out-of-water heroes assume de personas of deir fiktional counterparts, referencing an old t.v. show dat deir alien allies believe to be aktual “historical records”.  It all lead to aktion, adventure, a surprising amount of pathos (Yes, he be one of the Tree Musketeers!), and lots of laughs.

Alien nerds!

It culminate in a thrilling albeit incredibly stoopid climax involving highly convenient time travel.  Boo!

Still a very good, very funny movie dat give Monster newfound respekt for you pasty-faced geeks.

Verdikt: Me want to rate it even higher, but dat time travel twist at end be a disappointing cop-out.

Rating: 8.5 chocolate chippee cookies.

Tagged: Cookie Monster, Cookie Monster reviews Galaxy Quest, film reviews, Galaxy Quest, movie reviews

August 18, 2013: Fantasy football, gnocchi, and a prospective dog-sitter!

Great.  Now I think I may have pulled my solar plexus!  Is that even possible?  Not sure if it’s the result of the heavy weights I’ve been lifting, stress, or some mysterious bug but it feels as though I’ve taken a sucker punch to the stomach.  Curiously though, only when I apply pressure to the area.  I know, I know.  So don’t apply pressure to the area.  Gotcha.

Well, I spent most of today researching and number-crunching in preparation for my upcoming fantasy football league draft.  As you know, my Snow Monkeys are still smarting from last year’s disappointing season but are poised to make a big run THIS season.  Just as soon as I draft a team.  Anyway, I sat down and started going over the various statistics when Akemi and I got home from the farmer’s market this morning.  I figured I’d work for a little while before breaking for lunch.  I was partway through my Top 30 running backs when Akemi poked her head in from the next room and asked me when I’d be having lunch.  ”It’s still early,”I told her.  ”No, it’s not,”she said, pointing out the time.  Holy crap!  I thought I’d only been at it twenty minutes.  It was closer to an hour and a  half!

And while most of my afternoon was dedicated to draft strategy and the comparison of positional performances over the past two years, Akemi was in the kitchen trying her hand at gnocchi…

Following the Gordon Ramsay recipe

As well as Fabio Viviani’s recipe

With turkey sausage, fresh parsley, garlic, and olive oil.

With chorizo, crispy sage, and brown butter.

With fresh tomatoes and basil.

Garlic soup

And quinoa salad with sungold tomatoes, mango, and fresh basil.

We are BOTH exhausted.

Hey, you’ll be pleased/ambivalent to hear that I may have a solution to my dog-sitting problem.  As most of you know, I have three small dogs who, while very smart, are unable to fend for themselves if I ever leave town.  In the past, it wasn’t a problem because I had a dedicated dog-sitter who stayed at the house with them while I was away.  Unfortunately, said dog-sitter has moved on, leaving me dog-sitter-less…with a Tokyo trip pending.  It’s been surprisingly difficult finding a replacement willing to live out of my house for two weeks, drink my liquor, watch television and movies in my basement home theater AND get paid for it.  But I may have finally found someone – my sister!  IF she can swing it.  The plan is to fly her and a friend over from Montreal for those two weeks.  And problem solved!

Until I go visit my sister for Christmas.

August 17, 2013: The Japanese have a word for it!

It never fails.  We’ll be out walking the dogs or preparing dinner or working out when Akemi will turn to me and ask: “What’s the English world for…”.  And then proceed to lay out the most ridiculously detailed scenario like “What’s the English for when you’re trying to lose weight and keep at it for a while but, eventually, you give up and have, say, a piece of cake ?” or “What’s the English world for when you’re not hungry but you have something to eat because your mouth feels lonely?”.  I’ll inform her there is no English equivalent, word or phrase, that perfectly encapsulates such a comprehensive definition and she is, as always, surprised and disappointed.  Because, you see, the Japanese seem to have a word FOR EVERYTHING!

For example…

Age-otori: The state of looking far worse following a haircut.

Arigata-meiwaku: When somebody does you a favor you didn’t want them to do but they went ahead and did it anyway and, as a result, caused you a huge inconvenience but social convention requires you to thank them anyway.

Aware: The bittersweetness of fading moment.

Bakku-shan: A woman that looks far better from behind than from the front.

Boketto: The act of staring blankly out into space, devoid of any thoughts.

Happou bijin: The act of being ungenuinely nice to everyone out of fear of being disliked.

Karoshi: Death from overwork.

Kenjataimu: Period directly after the sexual act when a man is free of desire and can think clearly.

Kintsugi: The act of repairing broken pottery with gold.

Koi no yokan: The feeling, upon first meeting someone, that you will eventually fall in love.

Kuchi zamishi:  When you’re not hungry but you eat because your mouth is “lonely”.

Kyoikumama: A mother who relentlessly pushes her child to study.

Shrinrin-yoku: “Forest bathing” – visiting a forest for some R&R.

Tsujigiri: The act of trying out a new sword on some random stranger.

Tsundoku: The act of buying  a book and never getting around to reading it.

Wabi-sabi: A world view that accepts the transcendent and imperfect nature of life.

Yoko meshi: The stress experienced speaking a foreign language.

Familiar with any words in other languages that lack an English equivalent.  List away!

Tagged: Japanese, Japanese words

August 16, 2013: Good things will happen…Oh, come on. Seriously!

Confident in the belief that my recent string of rotten luck was well behind me (see last few issues – editor), I began yesterday with a positive outlook.  Things were about to get a whole better!  My regular repair guy would be contacting me about fixing my ceiling, I was catching a matinee with my buddy Ivon, I was having dinner with our friends Steve and Jodi (and daughter Gemma), and, best of all, my writing partner and I had a conference call scheduled for the end of the week that would finalize some outstanding issues and have us one giant step closer to a series commitment!

Unfortunately, things did not quite go as planned.  Or hoped anyway.

First off all, my repair guy didn’t get back to me.  Not a big deal, I suppose.  He could be busy or out of town.  I’ll give him until next week and then try someone else.

Ivon and I caught an afternoon showing of Fruitvale Station, the well-reviewed movie about the shooting of an unarmed young man by a Bay Area Rapid Transit officer on January 1, 2009.  In a word: meh.  A middling effort all around.  Average performances, uneven direction, and a pat script that doesn’t offer much in the way of subtlety or depth.  I left the theater feeling like I’d just sat through a t.v. movie of the week.

On the bright side, I was treated to 20 seconds of hilarity after the movie when a wasp took an interest in Ivon.  His subsequent freak-out was reminiscent of that time a bee chased my then 12 year old sister for a full block.

For dinner, we headed over to Granville Island to check out the menu at the hilariously misnamed Edible Vancouver (henceforth to be referred to as, take your choice: Inedible Vancouver or, if you’re feeling kind, Barely Edible Vancouver).  The company was great but the food! I felt like I was a contestant on a local version of the reality series Dinner Party Wars.  Think I’m being too harsh?  Check out the overenthusiastic plating of my main course:

Cibucide. Is that a word?

We did finish the meal with a variety of home made donuts that, while perfectly fine, weren’t particularly distinct in flavor.

Did I mention the company was great?

Well, at least there was that conference call this morning that finally settled…Oh, wait.  That’s right.  There WAS no conference call this morning.  It was rescheduled to Monday.