Joseph Mallozzi's Blog, page 111
November 5, 2022
November 4, 2022: The Horror Marathon continues!
Forgot to post this yesterday…
Vivarium (2019)
A young couple looking for the perfect home find themselves trapped in a mysterious labyrinth-like neighborhood of identical houses.
My thoughts: There’s a point in this movie when, while digging up their mysterious clay-laced front yard, one of the characters opines: ““This is just pointless. It’s just weird muck.” And that about sums it up.
3/5
Moloch (2022)
Betriek lives on the edge of a bog in the Netherlands. When she and her family are attacked by a stranger one night, Betriek sets out to find an explanation. She discovers that something is chasing her.
My thoughts: Mostly standard scares in a movie that shows promise in its exploration of Dutch folklore but never really delivers anything new to the horror conversation.
3/5
Coherence (2013)
Strange things begin to happen when a group of friends gather for a dinner party on an evening when a comet is passing overhead.
My thoughts: Essentially a one act movie with a great sci-fi set-up, but lacking a satisfactory pay-off. On the whole, intriguing yett the improvised performances feel shallow, the characters never quite real.
3.5/5
Sissy (2022)
Teen best friends Cecilia and Emma, after a decade run into each other. Cecilia is invited on Emma’s bachelorette weekend where she gets stuck in a remote cabin with her high school bully with a taste for revenge.
My thoughts: Annoyingly vapid characters stumble into absurdly contrived lethal scenarios to a ridiculously overwrought musical score. It’s too bad because it has the bones of a potentially great movie.
3/5
The Mortuary Collection (2019)
An eccentric mortician recounts several macabre and phantasmagorical tales that he’s encountered in his distinguished career.
My thoughts: As with most anthologies, your mileage will vary tale to tale. I thought they saved the best for last but, overall, for me the horror strays too far far into goofy territory.
3/5
Overall, overwhelmingly average.
The post November 4, 2022: The Horror Marathon continues! appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.
November 3, 2022
November 3, 2022: Your Handy Guide to Weird Yokai!
Is your bride evasive about her past? Is she reluctant to let you spend time with her family? Is she a really good swimmer? Well consider the possibility you may have married a Kaeru Nyobuo, a frog that has taken human form in order to get hitched to a man.
Art @matthewmeyerart
If you forget to close your butsudan (Buddhist Shrine) at night, you may be paid a visit by a Nuribotoke, defined by its onyx coloring, pot belly, tail, bad smell, and the fact that its eyeballs dangle out of its sockets like a diva’s earrings at a red carpet event.
There is perhaps no better representation of the spirit of mutual trust and cooperation than the Ashinaga-Tenaga, a collaborative effort between a creature with extremely long arms and a creature with extremely long legs who team up to wade into deep waters and snatch up fish.
The Ubagabi is another type of fireball yokai (Hi No Tama). It manifests as the flaming head of an elderly woman that can fly around at about 3 miles per second. According to legend, if she peers over your shoulder, you will die within three years.***Speaking of horror…Today’s Yes/No…https://twitter.com/BaronDestructo/status/1588165054503026690The post November 3, 2022: Your Handy Guide to Weird Yokai! appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.
November 2, 2022
November 2, 2022: Amazing Covers!
A few that caught my eye this week…
Star Wars: The Mandalorian #5 – cover art by E.M. Gist
Tiger Division #1 – cover art by Stanley “Artgerm” Lau
Vampirella vs. Red Sonja #1 – cover art by Lucio Parrillo
Batman #129 – cover art by Jorge Jimenez
Batman #129 – covrer art by Gabriele Dell’otto
Old Dog #2 – cover art by Greg Smallwood
Oz: Return of the Wicked Witch #1 – cover art by Meguro
So, which were YOUR favorites?
The post November 2, 2022: Amazing Covers! appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.
November 1, 2022
November 1, 2022: The Horror Marathon continues!
Hellbender (2021)
A lonely teen discovers her family’s ties to witchcraft.
My thoughts: Like watching an 80 minute music video. An okay movie considering its budgetary constraints, somewhat labored performances and dialogue, but the fact that it sits at #1 in rottentomatoes’ Best of 2022 rankings effectively renders that list pointless.
3/5
Hounds of Love (2017)
Vicki Maloney is randomly abducted from a suburban street by a disturbed couple. As she observes the dynamic between her captors she quickly realises she must drive a wedge between them if she is to survive.
My thoughts: Powerhouse performances and some nice directorial flourishes in this tense, disturbing but fairly straightforward psychological thriller.
3/5
The Last Matinee (2020)
It’s a soaking wet day with rain pouring down and one of the best things to do is to go seek refuge in a great old cinema. There’s just one problem: a murderer is on the loose and he also has taken refuge there.
My thoughts: A contemporary giallo that shot for shot and slash for slash is the equal to any its gloriously lurid predecessors. Bloody fun!
4/5
The House October Built (2021)
Five friends are stalked by a group of mysterious and disturbed individuals while on a road trip looking for the ultimate haunted house attraction.
My thoughts: Between the shaky cam and the dark lighting, it’s often hard to figure out what’s going on. The movie treads water for about fifty minutes before shit starts getting weird at which point one wonders why our protagonists don’t just pack it in.
3.5/5
Deadstream (2022)
A disgraced internet personality tries to win back his followers by livestreaming one night alone in a haunted house. But when he pisses off a vengeful spirit, his big comeback event becomes a real-time fight for his life.
My thoughts: A fun movie that gets the found footage elements right but ultimately, is about as scary as an amusement park’s haunted house ride.
4/5
Today’s Yes/No…
Turkey and Gravy Soda? Yes/No
Jones Soda adds two new festive flavours to portfolio https://t.co/g827z9lLQN
— Joseph Mallozzi
(@BaronDestructo) November 1, 2022
The post November 1, 2022: The Horror Marathon continues! appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.
October 31, 2022
My Halloween Horror Top 10 Novels!
Hex by Thomas Olde Heuvelt
Welcome to Black Spring, the seemingly picturesque Hudson Valley town haunted by the Black Rock Witch, a 17th century woman whose eyes and mouth are sewn shut. Muzzled, she walks the streets and enters homes at will.
#9. Song of Kali by Dan Simmons
Robert Luczak has been hired to find a noted Indian poet who has reappeared, under strange circumstances, years after he was thought dead.
#8. The Family Plot by Cherie Priest
The property is in unusually great shape for a condemned building. It’s empty, but it isn’t abandoned. Something in the Withrow mansion is angry and lost.
#7. The Lesser Dead by Christopher Buehlman
New York City in 1978 is a dirty, dangerous place to live. And die. Joey Peacock knows this as well as anybody—he has spent the last forty years as an adolescent vampire, perfecting the routine he now enjoys:..
#6. Mongrels by Stephen Graham Jones
For ten years, they have lived a life of late-night exits and close calls—always on the move to stay one step ahead of the law. But the time is drawing near when they will know if their nephew is like them or not.
#5. The Between by Tananarive Due
When Hilton was a boy, his grandmother saved him from drowning by pulling him out of a treacherous current, sacrificing her life for his. 30 years later, Hilton begins to think his borrowed time is running out.
#4. Penpal by Nathan Auerbach
A man investigates the seemingly unrelated bizarre, tragic, and horrific occurrences of his childhood in an attempt to finally understand them.
#3. The Troop by Nick Cutter
When an unexpected intruder – shockingly thin, disturbingly pale, and voraciously hungry – stumbles upon their campsite, scoutmaster Tim and the boys are exposed to something far more frightening than any tale of terror.
#2. The Shadow Year by Jeffrey Ford
Events have added a shadowy cast to the boys’ night games: disappearances, deaths, and spectral sightings capped off by the arrival of a sinister man in a long white car trawling the neighborhood after dark.
#1. Misery by Stephen King
Paul Sheldon. He’s a bestselling novelist who has finally met his biggest fan.
And which books make YOUR Horror Top 10?
The post My Halloween Horror Top 10 Novels! appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.
October 30, 2022
October 30, 2022: Spooky Suji Sunday!
Enjoying the fall weather.
Autumn babushka
All smiles
Dressed for the weather.
Nibbler!
Big Sneeze!
A visit to the Haunted House…
The post October 30, 2022: Spooky Suji Sunday! appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.
October 29, 2022
October 29, 2022: More Stargate concept art!
TikTok food hacks be like: “The key to a great focaccia is to tape it to the underside of your toilet bowl overnight.”
— Joseph Mallozzi
A little somethings from the Stargate vault…
Today’s Yes/No…
Tasteless Candy? Yes/No
Tasteless candy on sale at Lawson convenience stores https://t.co/L7wBghJzpE via @RocketNews24En
— Joseph Mallozzi
The post October 29, 2022: More Stargate concept art! appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.
October 28, 2022
My Horror Marathon Top 10 Movies!
A few months ago, I asked for some horror movie recommendations. I received a little over 250. Over the course of the past little while, I have watched 100 of your suggestions (and do eventually plan to get around to watching a few more). I’d say about 25 were good movies. The rest ranged from average to terrible. I took that solid list of 25 and applied a five point criteria to each movie:
Did this movie entertain me?
Was it scary?
Did it make sense?
Was it unique?
Did it surprise me?
After weighing them accordingly, I narrowed down the list.
Here are my Horror Marathon Top 10 Movies…
#10. Caveat (2020) – Ireland
A lone drifter suffering from partial memory loss accepts a job to look after a psychologically troubled woman in an abandoned house on an isolated island.
My thoughts: Once you get past the somewhat preposterous set-up, it’s a deliciously diabolical descent into Irish gothic horror.
#9. Cam (2018) – United States
When her account is stolen by a look-alike, a cam girl sets out to unmask the mysterious woman and get her identity back.
My thoughts: A surprisingly smart psychological thriller that explores the disturbingly vulnerable aspects of our online lives.
#8. Thelma (2017) – Norway
A college student starts to experience extreme seizures while studying at a university in Oslo, Norway. She soon learns that the violent episodes are a symptom of inexplicable, and often dangerous, supernatural abilities.
My thoughts: Incredible performances in this character-driven coming-of-age tale that proves both haunting and heartbreaking. The horror is a slow build, more surreal than visceral, but some of the imagery is shockingly inventive. Ultimately ambiguous, but satisfying nevertheless.
#7. Tumbbad (2018) – India
A man and his son encounter a legendary demon while searching a decaying castle for hidden treasure in 19th-century India.
My thoughts: Visually rich and refreshingly unique, this Indian gothic tale mines some spooky mythology in its exploration of greed, family, and colonialism. Well worth a watch.
#6. Once Cut of the Dead (2017) – Japan
Things go badly for a hack director and film crew shooting a low budget zombie movie in an abandoned WWII Japanese facility, when they are attacked by real zombies.
My thoughts: 30 minutes in, I was dubious – and then it all comes together in surprisingly clever fashion. I laughed out loud several times. Loads of fun.
#5. The Innocents (2021) – Finland
During the bright Nordic summer, a group of children reveal their dark and mysterious powers when the adults aren’t looking. In this original and gripping supernatural thriller, playtime takes a dangerous turn.
My thoughts: A terrific little that film confirms my long-held conviction that kids are creepy and inherently evil. A little slow off the top but fantastic once it gets going. And it really sticks its landing. Docking it a half mark for animal abuse though.
#4. Ouija: Origin of Evil (2016) – United States
In 1967 Los Angeles, a widowed mother and her daughters add a new stunt to bolster their seance scam business by inviting an evil presence into their home, not realizing how dangerous it is.
My thoughts: Smart and scary with a standout performance by a young Lulu Wilson as a chaotically creepy kid. Jeff Howard and Mike Flanagan at their absolute best.
#3. Saloum (2021) – Senegal
In 2003, a trio of mercenaries escaping a coup in Guinea-Bissau take refuge in a hidden region on the Saloum river of Senegal. But something from beyond the grave awaits them there.
My thoughts: Action and adventure, rogues and revelations, suspense and the supernatural – this movie has it all. An absolute blast.
#2. Speak No Evil (2022) – Denmark
A Danish family visits a Dutch family they met on a holiday. What was supposed to be an idyllic weekend slowly starts unraveling as the Danes try to stay polite in the face of unpleasantness.
My thoughts: A slow-burn gem that quietly and creepily builds from disquieting to disturbing to deeply dark.
#1 Atterados/Terrified (2017) – Argentina
Paranormal researchers investigate strange events in a neighbourhood in Buenos Aires.
My thoughts: Ho-ly! This one doesn’t pull any punches, delivering some great jump scares in a shocker that dares go where most Western horror fears to tread.
***
Honorable Mentions: The Autopsy of Jane Doe, The Belko Experiment, The Devil’s Backbone, Happy Death Day, Impetigore, The Last Matinee, The Sadness, Sleep Tight.
So, seen any good horror films you would recommend?
The post My Horror Marathon Top 10 Movies! appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.
October 27, 2022
October 27, 2022: Your Handy Guide to Weird Yokai!
Five more to keep you up at night…
Every so often, chickens will exact their revenge on the hypocritical monks who ate them, causing them to cough up chicken heads or transforming them into human-chicken hybrids known as Niwatori no so. Art by @matthewmeyerart
If the bell of your long-abandoned local temple inexplicably tolls at night, then your village may be playing host to a Noderabo, the disheveled spirit of a former monk who lost his way.
A young man mourning the passing of his former lover is shocked by her sudden, miraculous return. She visits every night, leaving him the next morning feeling exhausted. Unbeknownst to him, she is now a Hone Onna, a skeleton woman, slowly feeding off his life energy. Art by Nikulina-Helena
When a monk’s staff reaches a certain age, it may transform into a Nyoijizai, a yokai specializing in scratching those hard to reach itchy spots on your back.
The post October 27, 2022: Your Handy Guide to Weird Yokai! appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.
October 26, 2022
October 26, 2022: Amazing Covers!
A.X.E.: Judgement Day #6 – cover art by Stanley “Artgerm” Lau
DC Vs. Vampires #10 – cover art by Nathan Szerdy
The Riddler: Year One – cover art by Bill Sienkiewcz
Samurai Sonja #5 – cover art by Lesley “Leirix” Li
Star Trek #1 – cover art by David Aja
Bloodshot Unleashed #2 – cover art by Alex Garner
Remnant – cover art by Diego Yapur
2000 AD May 2022 Prog Pack – cover art by Steven Austin
Tales of Science Fiction : Interference Pattern #4 – cover art by Tim Bradstreet
So, which were YOUR favorites?
The post October 26, 2022: Amazing Covers! appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.
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