Joseph Mallozzi's Blog, page 110

November 14, 2022: Your Handy Guide to Weird Yokai!

You spot a figure lurking behind your shoji, but when you slide open the door, there is no one there. Chances are you have just encountered a Kage Onna (Shadow Woman) and that your house may be haunted.  Art by @matthewmeyerart 

The Iso Onna appears as a beautiful woman with long dark hair, usually found along seasides. Should you approach her, she’ll emit a frightful shriek that will leave you stuned, allowing her to ensnare you with her hair and drag you into the ocean where she will drain your blood.

Evil spirits are unable to enter places secured by fuda, protective wards. Thus, they enlist the help of Fudakaeshi, spirits who specialize in convincing humans to remove the charms in exchange for rewards – that never materialize (as you’d know if you’d bothered to check their google reviews).

Gozu and Mezu (Ox-Head and Horse-Face) are animal-headed demon doormen of the underworld who may, occasionally, abandon their posts at the gates of Hell to chase down escaped souls. Art by @matthewmeyerart

A man finds a beautiful woman standing on his doorstep and marries her (cause why not?). Every day, she makes him a delicious bean soup – until he comes home and catches her urinating into the pot, thus revealing she is really a Hamaguri Nyobo, a clam that has taken human form. Art by @matthewmeyerart

Today’s Yes/No…

Reaper Pizza? Yes/No
You have to sign a medical waiver to order this fiery pizza https://t.co/T0sTt11sxX via @reviewjournal

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) November 14, 2022

Who dares?

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November 13, 2022: Suji Sunday!

Fall weather

Flower viewing

Close-up flower viewing at home

Physio

Coffee with mom

Suji has been a little more vocal of late.  Maybe due to her failing eyesight, she doesn’t like us to stray – especially not as far as the next room.  So, to reassure her, I’ll pick her up and walk her around the place.  This seems to comfort her…

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November 12, 2022: White Truffle Supper Club!

Last night, I attended the White Truffle Supper Club dinner overseen by Chef Massimo Bruno.  I was tipped off by my foodie friend Natalie and, in turn, tipped off my food friend Dr. Blackjack.  The three of us, along with Natalie’s father, enjoyed an evening of truffle-themed plates…

The home made focaccia (not pictured).  Akemi was not in attendance because she’s not a fan of truffles (or cheese), so this is about the only thing she could have eaten on the night.

Burratta and tomato salad with truffles.  I’ve always been a big fan of burrata.  Akemi is more of a fiore di latte gal.

Polpette di Ricotta (fresh ricotta ball baked with white truffle honey).  This one was a hit with many and a few diners proclaimed it their favorite dish of the night.  Had a lot more character than the preceding cheese dish.

Wild mushrooms with truffle on arugula.  This one was fine.  I find that once you deep fry mushrooms, they really become hard to differentiate.  I’ve always preferred my wild mushrooms simply prepared: pan-fried with a little salt and butter.

Sea scallops with truffle cream.  Outstanding.  My favorite of the starters.

Risotto cacio e pepe and truffle.  And even better.  Loved the fact the grains were a little al dente.  My favorite dish of the night.

Pasta with butter, sage, and truffles.  I found the flavors muted on this one on the heels of the preceding two spectacular plates.

Harvet salad.  Doused with red wine vinegar.  This one was a punch to the throat.

Brasolo al’ Baralo. A rare non-truffle dish, but it was excellent never-the-less.  Slow-braised and incredibly tender.

Mashed potatoes with truffle.  Buttery great.

Polenta with truffles.  This one not so great.

Truffle tiramisu allo zabaione and truffle.  I’ve been of the long-held opinion that truffle and dessert don’t mix, and this tiramisu did nothing to change my mind.  Everyone else loved it however.

A good time was had by all.  And rather than uber, I opted for the 45 minute walk home.

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November 11, 2022: The Horror Marathon continues with Bliss, Prevenge, The Devil’s Candy, Satan’s Slaves: Communion, and Lemon KitKats!

Bliss (2019)

A brilliant painter facing the worst creative block of her life turns to anything she can to complete her masterpiece, spiraling into a hallucinatory hellscape of drugs, sex and murder in the sleazy underbelly of Los Angeles.

My thoughts: Like getting super high and then having someone scream at your for an hour and change.

2/5

Bloody Hell (2020)

A man with a mysterious past flees the country to escape his own personal hell – only to arrive somewhere much, much worse.

My thoughts: The goofiness keeps it from being genuinely scary, but it’s a fun ride nevertheless.

4/5

Satan’s Slaves: Communion (2022)

A family moves into an apartment, believing it to be a safe place, but they soon realize this might not be the case once they get to know their neighbors.

My thoughts: A fantastic follow-up to the original (remake) with one of the most horrifying elevator sequences ever committed to film.

4/5

Revenge (2016)

Widow Ruth is seven months pregnant when, believing herself to be guided by her unborn baby, she embarks on a homicidal rampage, dispatching anyone who stands in her way.

My thoughts: Strong premise. Weak execution. A one act movie devoid of surprises.

2.5/5

The Devil’s Candy (2015)

A struggling painter’s possessed by dark forces after he and his young family move into their dream home in rural Texas, in this creepy haunted-house tale.

A dark and disturbing descent into heavy metal horror. What makes it so eerily effective is the character work and performances that actually make us care for these people.

Today’s Yes/No…

Ogasawara Island Lemon KitKats? Yes/No
Japanese KitKats get a new regional flavour, straight from a Tokyo island https://t.co/OthaXPwKxU via @RocketNews24En

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) November 11, 2022

 

 

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November 10, 2022: Your Handy Guide to Weird Yokai!

Before entering the underworld, souls are met by the Datsue-ba, an elderly woman who strips off their clothes. Those who attempt to avoid this indignity by showing up naked have their skin stripped off instead. Thieves will also have their fingers broken for good measure.

The sea-dwelling Umi Bozu are so large that only their heads and shoulders peek over the surface on calm nights when they appear to spook sailors and smash their boats to bits. They apparently can’t stand tobacco. One more reason for you to take up smoking.

The Raiju (aka Thunder Beast) is composed of pure lightning. It rides the skies during thunderstorms, usually in the form of a dog or wolf, descending on tress and buildings, causing destruction and mayhem wherever it lands.

The Jikininki is a flesh-eating ghoul that hangs around temples at night or wherever it can grab a quick, freshly-deceased snack. Though not a threat to the living, they can nevertheless be a source of annoyance at funeral services.

The Umi Zato, Blind Man of the Sea, is an elderly giant who walks along the surface of the sea, tapping the area ahead of him with his cane to identify errant waves lest he trip over them. Somewhat temperamental, the Umi Zato have been known to capsize boats, so steer clear!

Today’s Yes/No…

Coffee-flavored Seltzer? Yes/Nohttps://t.co/wxmCBlRl8P pic.twitter.com/hizxWg8kOC

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) November 10, 2022

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November, 9, 2022: Amazing Covers!

A few that caught my eye this week…

Batman Incorporated #2 – cover art by Jorge Molina

Batman Vs. Robin #3 – cover art by Alex Maleev

Batman: Urban Legends #21 – cover art by Jorge Fornes

The Death of Superman: 30th Anniversary Special #1 – cover art by Ivan Reis, Danny Miki

Fantastic Four #1 – cover art by Alex Ross

Ninja Funk #1 – cover art by David Mack

So, which was YOUR favorite?

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Top Kpop Tracks of October, 2022

Top 10 Kpop Songs of October, 2022
9. We Are – #HighTension #KpopTop10 pic.twitter.com/Pz1YYK7Dn7

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) November 7, 2022

Top 10 Kpop Songs of October, 2022
7. Generation – #AcidAngelfromAsia #KpopTop10 pic.twitter.com/37TBbH1692

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) November 7, 2022

Top 10 Kpop Songs of October, 2022
5. Vision – #Dreamcatcher #KpopTop10 pic.twitter.com/P2enoNJtiv

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) November 7, 2022

Top 10 Kpop Songs of October, 2022
3. What I Want – #Itzy #KpopTop10 pic.twitter.com/eoKsFI0ksl

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) November 7, 2022

Top 10 Kpop Songs of October, 2022
1. Yummy Yummy – #QueenzEye #KpopTop10 pic.twitter.com/4dvHHhR0OF

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) November 7, 2022

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November 7, 2022: The Horror Marathon continues with 5 more films for your consideration!

Whew!  If not for Drea’s timely reminder, I may have forgotten yet another blog entry – and been forced to post a double entry tomorrow!

Why Don’t You Just Die (2018)

Andrei, a detective and the world’s worst horrible dad, brings together a terrible group of people: his resentful actress daughter, an angry thug, and a cheated cop. Each of them seeks revenge..

My thoughts: Hyper-stylized action and over-the-top score mark this Tarantino-inspired Russian thriller that manages to be darkly humorous, gratuitously gore, and immensely entertaining.

4/5

We Are All Going to the World’s Fair (2021)

Alone in her attic bedroom, teenager Casey becomes immersed in an online role-playing horror game, wherein she begins to document the changes that may or may not be happening to her.

My thoughts: Avant-garde and experimental, slow and nonsensical, this movie offers potential in its exploration of teen identity, mental health, and online horror culture, but the promise of more never really materializes.   Frustratingly obtuse.  

2.5/5

The Dark and the Wicked (2020)

On a secluded farm in a nondescript rural town, a man is slowly dying. His family gathers to mourn, and soon a darkness grows, marked by waking nightmares and a growing sense that something evil is taking ove.

My thoughts: While the scares do, at times, feel a little too familiar, this meditation on loss, guilt, and familial obligations does deliver the grisly goods.

3.5/5

We Are What We Are (2010)

When the patriarch of the family passes away, the teenage children must take responsibility for the family chores: the preparation of the rituals, the hunting and putting the all-important meat on the table.

My thoughts: Stark social allegory with an engaging premise but a plodding execution.

3/5

Satan’s Slaves (2017)

After dying from a strange illness that she suffered for 3 years, a mother returns home to pick up her children.

My thoughts: Terrific twists and some memorable scares in this well-plotted, character-driven Indonesian horror entry.

4.5/5

Today’s horrific Yes/No…

Parker House Rolls w/ Salted Buttercream Ice Cream? Yes/No https://t.co/yLe4DR61CC

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) November 7, 2022

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November 5, 2022: Suji Sunday!

Thoughtful.

Flower time.

Staying cool for laser therapy.

Some good lazing about.

Derp alert!

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November 5, 2022: Your Handy Guide to Weird Yokai!

After falling in battle, the leader of the Mononobe clan assumed the ghostly form of a woodpecker and sought revenge on his former rivals by pecking at their wooden temples – until, that is, he was chased away by a magical

Late at night, you may hear mysterious creaks and groans, pops and knocks and people will tell you “It’s just the house settling.”. Nonsense! It’s likely Yanari, tiny demons that live beneath your floorboards, venturing out after dark to cause noisy mischief.

At first glance, the Mikoshi Nyudo looks like your typical solitary monk out for a night time stroll. But draw closer and his neck will extend to grotesque lengths, causing you to fall over in your startled state, thereby allowing him to feast on your windpipe.

The Kyokotsu is the vengeful spirit of a murder victim whose bones were tossed down a well. There it dwells in relative unease until someone is foolish enough to disturb its remains.

What at first you may dismiss as a 35 foot piece of cloth swept up by the wind could actually be the yokai known as the Ittan Momen. How to tell the difference? Well, if it wraps itself around you and either crushes your skull or smothers you to death, it’s probably the latter.

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