Joseph Mallozzi's Blog, page 108
October 31, 2022
My Halloween Horror Top 10 Novels!
Hex by Thomas Olde Heuvelt
Welcome to Black Spring, the seemingly picturesque Hudson Valley town haunted by the Black Rock Witch, a 17th century woman whose eyes and mouth are sewn shut. Muzzled, she walks the streets and enters homes at will.
#9. Song of Kali by Dan Simmons
Robert Luczak has been hired to find a noted Indian poet who has reappeared, under strange circumstances, years after he was thought dead.
#8. The Family Plot by Cherie Priest
The property is in unusually great shape for a condemned building. It’s empty, but it isn’t abandoned. Something in the Withrow mansion is angry and lost.
#7. The Lesser Dead by Christopher Buehlman
New York City in 1978 is a dirty, dangerous place to live. And die. Joey Peacock knows this as well as anybody—he has spent the last forty years as an adolescent vampire, perfecting the routine he now enjoys:..
#6. Mongrels by Stephen Graham Jones
For ten years, they have lived a life of late-night exits and close calls—always on the move to stay one step ahead of the law. But the time is drawing near when they will know if their nephew is like them or not.
#5. The Between by Tananarive Due
When Hilton was a boy, his grandmother saved him from drowning by pulling him out of a treacherous current, sacrificing her life for his. 30 years later, Hilton begins to think his borrowed time is running out.
#4. Penpal by Nathan Auerbach
A man investigates the seemingly unrelated bizarre, tragic, and horrific occurrences of his childhood in an attempt to finally understand them.
#3. The Troop by Nick Cutter
When an unexpected intruder – shockingly thin, disturbingly pale, and voraciously hungry – stumbles upon their campsite, scoutmaster Tim and the boys are exposed to something far more frightening than any tale of terror.
#2. The Shadow Year by Jeffrey Ford
Events have added a shadowy cast to the boys’ night games: disappearances, deaths, and spectral sightings capped off by the arrival of a sinister man in a long white car trawling the neighborhood after dark.
#1. Misery by Stephen King
Paul Sheldon. He’s a bestselling novelist who has finally met his biggest fan.
And which books make YOUR Horror Top 10?
The post My Halloween Horror Top 10 Novels! appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.
October 30, 2022
October 30, 2022: Spooky Suji Sunday!
Enjoying the fall weather.
Autumn babushka
All smiles
Dressed for the weather.
Nibbler!
Big Sneeze!
A visit to the Haunted House…
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October 29, 2022
October 29, 2022: More Stargate concept art!
TikTok food hacks be like: “The key to a great focaccia is to tape it to the underside of your toilet bowl overnight.”
— Joseph Mallozzi
(@BaronDestructo) October 29, 2022
A little somethings from the Stargate vault…
Today’s Yes/No…
Tasteless Candy? Yes/No
Tasteless candy on sale at Lawson convenience stores https://t.co/L7wBghJzpE via @RocketNews24En
— Joseph Mallozzi
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October 28, 2022
My Horror Marathon Top 10 Movies!
A few months ago, I asked for some horror movie recommendations. I received a little over 250. Over the course of the past little while, I have watched 100 of your suggestions (and do eventually plan to get around to watching a few more). I’d say about 25 were good movies. The rest ranged from average to terrible. I took that solid list of 25 and applied a five point criteria to each movie:
Did this movie entertain me?
Was it scary?
Did it make sense?
Was it unique?
Did it surprise me?
After weighing them accordingly, I narrowed down the list.
Here are my Horror Marathon Top 10 Movies…
#10. Caveat (2020) – Ireland
A lone drifter suffering from partial memory loss accepts a job to look after a psychologically troubled woman in an abandoned house on an isolated island.
My thoughts: Once you get past the somewhat preposterous set-up, it’s a deliciously diabolical descent into Irish gothic horror.
#9. Cam (2018) – United States
When her account is stolen by a look-alike, a cam girl sets out to unmask the mysterious woman and get her identity back.
My thoughts: A surprisingly smart psychological thriller that explores the disturbingly vulnerable aspects of our online lives.
#8. Thelma (2017) – Norway
A college student starts to experience extreme seizures while studying at a university in Oslo, Norway. She soon learns that the violent episodes are a symptom of inexplicable, and often dangerous, supernatural abilities.
My thoughts: Incredible performances in this character-driven coming-of-age tale that proves both haunting and heartbreaking. The horror is a slow build, more surreal than visceral, but some of the imagery is shockingly inventive. Ultimately ambiguous, but satisfying nevertheless.
#7. Tumbbad (2018) – India
A man and his son encounter a legendary demon while searching a decaying castle for hidden treasure in 19th-century India.
My thoughts: Visually rich and refreshingly unique, this Indian gothic tale mines some spooky mythology in its exploration of greed, family, and colonialism. Well worth a watch.
#6. Once Cut of the Dead (2017) – Japan
Things go badly for a hack director and film crew shooting a low budget zombie movie in an abandoned WWII Japanese facility, when they are attacked by real zombies.
My thoughts: 30 minutes in, I was dubious – and then it all comes together in surprisingly clever fashion. I laughed out loud several times. Loads of fun.
#5. The Innocents (2021) – Finland
During the bright Nordic summer, a group of children reveal their dark and mysterious powers when the adults aren’t looking. In this original and gripping supernatural thriller, playtime takes a dangerous turn.
My thoughts: A terrific little that film confirms my long-held conviction that kids are creepy and inherently evil. A little slow off the top but fantastic once it gets going. And it really sticks its landing. Docking it a half mark for animal abuse though.
#4. Ouija: Origin of Evil (2016) – United States
In 1967 Los Angeles, a widowed mother and her daughters add a new stunt to bolster their seance scam business by inviting an evil presence into their home, not realizing how dangerous it is.
My thoughts: Smart and scary with a standout performance by a young Lulu Wilson as a chaotically creepy kid. Jeff Howard and Mike Flanagan at their absolute best.
#3. Saloum (2021) – Senegal
In 2003, a trio of mercenaries escaping a coup in Guinea-Bissau take refuge in a hidden region on the Saloum river of Senegal. But something from beyond the grave awaits them there.
My thoughts: Action and adventure, rogues and revelations, suspense and the supernatural – this movie has it all. An absolute blast.
#2. Speak No Evil (2022) – Denmark
A Danish family visits a Dutch family they met on a holiday. What was supposed to be an idyllic weekend slowly starts unraveling as the Danes try to stay polite in the face of unpleasantness.
My thoughts: A slow-burn gem that quietly and creepily builds from disquieting to disturbing to deeply dark.
#1 Atterados/Terrified (2017) – Argentina
Paranormal researchers investigate strange events in a neighbourhood in Buenos Aires.
My thoughts: Ho-ly! This one doesn’t pull any punches, delivering some great jump scares in a shocker that dares go where most Western horror fears to tread.
***
Honorable Mentions: The Autopsy of Jane Doe, The Belko Experiment, The Devil’s Backbone, Happy Death Day, Impetigore, The Last Matinee, The Sadness, Sleep Tight.
So, seen any good horror films you would recommend?
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October 27, 2022
October 27, 2022: Your Handy Guide to Weird Yokai!
Five more to keep you up at night…
Every so often, chickens will exact their revenge on the hypocritical monks who ate them, causing them to cough up chicken heads or transforming them into human-chicken hybrids known as Niwatori no so. Art by @matthewmeyerart
If the bell of your long-abandoned local temple inexplicably tolls at night, then your village may be playing host to a Noderabo, the disheveled spirit of a former monk who lost his way.
A young man mourning the passing of his former lover is shocked by her sudden, miraculous return. She visits every night, leaving him the next morning feeling exhausted. Unbeknownst to him, she is now a Hone Onna, a skeleton woman, slowly feeding off his life energy. Art by Nikulina-Helena
When a monk’s staff reaches a certain age, it may transform into a Nyoijizai, a yokai specializing in scratching those hard to reach itchy spots on your back.
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October 26, 2022
October 26, 2022: Amazing Covers!
A.X.E.: Judgement Day #6 – cover art by Stanley “Artgerm” Lau
DC Vs. Vampires #10 – cover art by Nathan Szerdy
The Riddler: Year One – cover art by Bill Sienkiewcz
Samurai Sonja #5 – cover art by Lesley “Leirix” Li
Star Trek #1 – cover art by David Aja
Bloodshot Unleashed #2 – cover art by Alex Garner
Remnant – cover art by Diego Yapur
2000 AD May 2022 Prog Pack – cover art by Steven Austin
Tales of Science Fiction : Interference Pattern #4 – cover art by Tim Bradstreet
So, which were YOUR favorites?
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October 25, 2022
October 25, 2022: Health Check 2022!
I never sleep well if I have to wake up early the next morning. I’m up at all hours of the night with a strange mix of anxiety and a relentless need to check the time to make sure I haven’t overslept. And so, I was out of bed at 6:00 a.m. this morning, thoroughly exhausted and not looking forward to the day’s menu: a smorgasbord of tests and checks for my annual physical.
All told, it took about three hours. Before getting on the treadmill for my EKG, the technician informed me that my resting heart rate was unusually low – 56 beats per minute. Above 60 is apparently normal. And so, between my run and my ultrasound, I dove down a rabbit hole on low heart rates and the dangers of a condition known as bradycardia which occurs due to Heart Block which, interestingly enough, doesn’t really have anything to do with blockages and is really more about the heart’s inability to quickly process electric signals. According to the site I checked out, a resting heart rate below 60 is not always cause for concern. There are times when a resting heart rate is 40-60 beats a minute. Of course, that’s while someone is sleeping and, to the best of my knowledge, I was not doing that while talking to the technician. After doing an even deeper dive into the pacemakers and their various implantation methods, I felt I was suitably educated/panicked enough to talk to my doctor about it. For his part, however, he seemed less concerned, informing me that last year’s stress test revealed an equally low heart rate (of about 61 beats per minute) along with something called scooping (a micro-second delay in my heart’s beating process) that resulted in a follow-up cardio-ultrasound…that came back negative. Since I have no other symptoms (ie. passing out), it’s no cause for concern. I did mention I have been feeling a lot more tired at night and he essentially officially welcomed me to old age.
Equally disquieting was the ultrasound session which saw the technician being disturbingly thorough in scanning my esophagus tract. The techs are not permitted to reveal their findings (That’s the doctor’s job!) and they must be all be world-class card players because their poker faces are inscrutable – still, I try my best to suss them out, engaging in humorous banter with them off the top, then gauging them for a potential souring in their mood as the session evolves. Has she stopped chit-chatting because she’s focused OR is there a more distressing reason for the change?
Anyway, I mentioned this to my doctor as well and he brought up the scan, assuring me that my results looked absolutely boring – but, of course, we would have to wait a week for the official sign-off. And the results on my bloodwork. To date, so far so good – although my cholesterol was on the high end a couple of years ago before I made some lifestyle change (Eating steel cut Irish oatmeal at night? Doing cardio every night? Increasing my intake of nutty dark chocolate”?).
And that was pretty much that. Blood draw. Flu shot. Shingles vaccine. And a promise to set up a zoom session with a nutritionist to criticize my diet choices.
To celebrate, we took two buses to visit a Japanese restaurant Akemi has been dying to check out. Verdict: mama deshita. .
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October 24, 2022
October 24, 2022: The Horror Marathon continues with movies, weird Pop-Tarts, and my annual physical!
Racing to get 100 horror movies under my belt before Halloween!
Let Us Prey (2014)
Held in a remote police station, a mysterious stranger takes over the minds and souls of everyone inside.
Thoughts: Flashes of a pretty good movie here but, ultimately, contrived and silly.
3/5
Swallow (2019)
Hunter, a newly pregnant housewife, finds herself increasingly compelled to consume dangerous objects. As her husband and his family tighten their control over her life, she must confront the dark secret behind her new obsession.
Thoughts: As one-note and detached as its protagonist. Weird, and not in a good way.
2.5/5
Who Invited Them (2022)
Adam and Margo’s housewarming party is a success, but after one couple linger long after the other guests have left, the evening takes a dark turn.
Thoughts: A very slow build to a lackluster climax with a twist that is delivered in annoyingly contrived fashion. The movie includes a vestigial B story we keep cutting away to that ultimately never impacts the A story.
3/5
The Taking of Deborah Logan (2014)
An elderly woman battling Alzheimer’s disease agrees to let a film crew document her condition, but what they discover is something far more sinister going on.
Thoughts: Dubious found footage horror movie logic, shaky performances from the supporting cast, and some really contrived scare scenes make this one a miss.
3/5
Summer of 84 (2018)
After suspecting that their police officer neighbor is a serial killer, a group of teenage friends spend their summer spying on him and gathering evidence, but as they get closer to the truth, things get dangerous.
Thoughts: Treads the same 80’s-inspired ground as Stranger Things but, unlike the show or its filmic inspirations, lacks warmth, a sense of wonder, and a willingness to challenge or reimagine the classic genre conceits.
3/5
Today’s Yes/No…
Tajin Pop-Tarts? Yes/No
Pop-Tarts and Tajín Come Together for a Special Kit https://t.co/nt2ei1sc9c and Tajín Come Together for a Special Kit
— Joseph Mallozzi
Speaking of horrors, tomorrow I have to wake up at 6 a.m. for my annual physical: general check-up, blood and urine work, ultrasound, stress test, hearing and sight tests, kinesiologist, nutritionist. Then, Thursday, it’s a visit to the dentist for another check-up.
Am NOT looking forward to the rest of the week. Nor the weekend which I will undoubtedly spend worrying about my physio results.
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October 23, 2022
October 23, 2022: Suji Sunday!
Physio time!
Sneezy McSneezy…
Loves her sweater.
Also loves her fishies….
Le chapeau!
Instagram’s tribute to our girl…
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October 22, 2022
October 22, 2022: The Saturday Report!
WUT is THIS?
Live-action Attack on Titan musical reveals in-costume photos of full cast【Photos】
https://www.shingeki-musical.com
I am IN! Who wants to join me in Osaka for the January 2023 premiere?
Today’s farmer’s market haul: fish and monkey face peppers, and smoked chicken fat…
Finished the first draft of that android murder mystery. Switching gears to generate a few episode springboards for that sci-fi action-comedy. Watched that new series that steps on one of my existing pilots, so going to have to make some tweaks over the course of the next couple of weeks to avoid those creative parallels. I mean, it’s difference enough but there are similarities and, if this other show does well, people will say: “We’re going to have to pass. Your show is too similar to Show X.” On the other hand, if the show crashes and burns, people will be like: “We’re going to have to pass. Your show is too similar to Show X that tanked.” Also, going to hash out an outline for that new horror script and start strategizing with my agent re: the new action-comedy pilot.
Head on over to twitter and cast your vote in this all-important poll:
When do you shower?
— Joseph Mallozzi
I used to be a morning showerer until I started dating Akemi who has long argued you want to shower BEFORE you get into a nice, clean bed.
I am now 95 movies into my Horror Marathon. Once I have 100 under my belt, I’ll put together a list of my Top 10 Favorites – hopefully just in time for Halloween.
Today’s Yes/No…
Purple Halloween Frappuccino? Yes/No
Does Starbucks Japan’s new Halloween Frappuccino taste as good as it looks? https://t.co/lmzxXLhPYB via @RocketNews24En
— Joseph Mallozzi
The post October 22, 2022: The Saturday Report! appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.
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