Joseph Mallozzi's Blog, page 108
December 4, 2022
December 4, 2022: Suji Sunday!
The Hungriest Reindeer.
Snowsuit chic.
A visit to the cafe shop.
Cozy.
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December 3, 2022
December 3, 2022: The Horror Marathon continues! 5 more movies for you to check out, or avoid.
Prey (2022)
Naru, a skilled warrior of the Comanche Nation, fights to protect her tribe against one of the first highly-evolved Predators to land on Earth.
My thoughts: A simple premise well-executed. Still, for a creature that enjoys the art of the hunt, the Predator is awful unsporting.
4/5
Fall (2022)
Best friends Becky and Hunter find themselves at the top of a 2,000-foot radio tower.
My thoughts: A little long, at times a tad melodramatic, but overall a very effective anxiety-inducing thriller.
3.5/5
The Harbinger (2022)
Monique ventures out of quarantine to visit an old friend who’s plagued by nightmares. She finds herself drawn into a hellish dreamscape where she must face her greatest fears – or risk never having existed at all.
My thoughts: One of the better pandemic-set horror films that does a nice job exploring themes related to identity and loss, but it suffers from the “everything can be a dream” trope that ultimately robs the protagonist of any real agency.
3.5/5
Resurrection (2022)
Margaret’s life is in order. She is capable, disciplined and successful. Everything is under control until David returns – that is – carrying with him the horrors of Margaret’s past.
My thoughts: An intriguing exploration of abusive relationships and trauma culminates in an unsatisfying, gruesome, nonsensical conclusion.
3/5
Fresh (2022)
FRESH follows Noa (Daisy Edgar-Jones), who meets the alluring Steve (Sebastian Stan) at a grocery store and – given her frustration with dating apps – takes a chance and gives him her number.
My thoughts: The first act is a terrific but once the film shifts gears into horror, it becomes decisively less clever in its social commentary. Stylish, satisfying in its conclusion, but one can’t help but feel it would have been criticized as misogynist had the director been male.
3.5/5
Today’s Yes/No…
Caramelized White Chocolate Honey-Schmaltz Caramel Bar with Crispy Chicken Skin and Crispy Bits? Yes/Nohttps://t.co/sOXPkOliOO pic.twitter.com/Opcp9R3jzy
— Joseph Mallozzi
(@BaronDestructo) December 3, 2022
The post December 3, 2022: The Horror Marathon continues! 5 more movies for you to check out, or avoid. appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.
December 2, 2022
December 2, 2022: It’s like Substack, but not on Substack!
If I were to ever be invited to adapt a comic book series, it would have to be one of these…
Speaking of which – completed three comic book pitches that I plan to send out next week. Also plan to do a pass on a couple of scripts this weekend while I await word on that thriller that could be all sorts of fun if all the pieces fall into place. Also awaiting word on a couple of other projects – which is the norm in this business. Waiting. A lot of waiting.
Hey, you can turn around now. We finally got feedback!So, what are your weekend plans? Akemi and I will probably hit the farmer’s market tomorrow morning as is our custom – provided, of course, this stomach bug I am currently – and suddenly – battling magically disappears between now and then. Not sure of the cause, but the list of suspects is a suspicious lot: either of those two new hot sauces I picked up last month, the leftover rapini, the chocolate-covered pecans, perhaps even the single serving vanilla ice cream from Hokkaido. Other than that, maybe a little football-viewing. My Snow Monkeys are dead in the water in one league, but looking very promising in the other where they have clawed their way back into playoff contention and third place. Two more weeks to go, but I like our chances.
125 movies into this Horror Marathon and I have to wonder whether it’s a case of “They don’t make ’em like they used to” or “They don’t make ’em like I thought they used to”. Last month, I watched a movie so offensively bad that I had to go online and retroactively block anyone who recommended it. While I realize it may seem a little extreme, the truth is I have recently adopted a highly curated online experience that has seen my twitter block list swell to, let me see now….
I’d like to do something special for the 10 000th block. How should I celebrate?
Today’s Yes/No…
Milkshake-dipped Fried Chicken? Yes/No https://t.co/ZfxzbPaInB
— Joseph Mallozzi
The post December 2, 2022: It’s like Substack, but not on Substack! appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.
December 1, 2022
December 1, 2022: The Horror Marathon continues!
Smile (2022)
After witnessing a traumatic incident involving a patient, Dr. Rose Cotter starts experiencing frightening occurrences she can’t explain. Rose must confront her troubling past to survive and escape her horrifying new reality.
My thoughts: Its scary premise offers the potential for another Ringu, but it just ends up devolving into another predictable trope-fest. It’s one of those: “if anything can be real, then nothing can be real” situations – and this pretty much robs the movie of any real stakes. Shame. Docked a half point for going the cliche dead pet route.
3/5
Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022)
When a group of rich 20-somethings plan a hurricane party at a remote family mansion, a party game turns deadly in this fresh and funny look at backstabbing, fake friends, and one party gone very, very wrong.
My thoughts: Enjoyable up until the end when the “big twist” begs a couple of questions that remained unanswered.
3.5/5
The Black Phone (2022)
After being abducted by a child killer and locked in a soundproof basement, a 13-year-old boy starts receiving calls on a disconnected phone from the killer’s previous victims.
My thoughts: A slow burn ode to 70’s horror that walks the line between psychological terror and the esoteric supernatural.
3.5/5
Piggy (2022)
An overweight teen is bullied by a clique of cool girls poolside while holidaying in her village. The long walk home will change the rest of her life.
My thoughts: A stellar performance by Laura Galán, but the movie’s messaging is too one note, its execution at times clunky. Pretty much goes exactly as you suspect it would.
3/5
Soft & Quiet (2022)
Playing out in real time, an elementary school teacher organizes a mixer of like-minded women, when she encounters a woman from her past, leading to a volatile chain of events.
My thoughts: The characters are one-note, the dialogue painfully cliche. The threadbare plot is contrived. Another insubstantial message movie. Abysmal.
1/5
Today’s Yes/No…
Butter Caramel Mille-feuille Frappuccino? Yes/No
Starbucks Japan releases its second festive Frappuccino for 2022, but is it as good as the first? https://t.co/9RHZAKFrea via @RocketNews24En
— Joseph Mallozzi
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November 30, 2022
November 30, 2022: Amazing Covers!
A few that caught my eye this week…
Vampirella: Year One #4 – cover art by Lucio Parrillo
Star Wars: Darth Vader #29 – cover art by Rahzzah
Star Wars: Darth Vader #29 – cover art by Salvador Larroca
Damn Them All #2 – cover art by Stephanie Hans
Damn Them All #2 – cover art by Tula Lotay.
Wildstorm 30th Anniversary Special #1 – cover art by Joshua Middleton
World of Krypton – cover art by Mico Suayan
Tales of Science Fiction: Interference Pattern #5 – cover art by Tim Bradstreet
So, which were YOUR favorites?
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November 29, 2022
November 29, 2022: Your Final Guide to Weird Yokai!
The Nure Onago, The Wet Girl, will appear near bodies of water, drenched from head to toe. Should you approach to check on her, she’ll follow you home and refuse to leave, stinking the place up with her mildewy scent. So, yes, exactly like having kids. Art by @matthewmeyerart
From a distance, you may mistake the Chōchin Kozō for just a typical teen boy out at night, strolling through the grounds of a former murder scene – but approach him and he will spin around to reveal his cherry-red face. Harmless, but loves a good scare. Art by @matthewmeyerart The post November 29, 2022: Your Final Guide to Weird Yokai! appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.
November 28, 2022
November 28, 2022: Trivia Time!
"Drumstick" is a bastardization of "Drama Stick", a term coined in reference to the use of discarded turkey legs as stage props in 19th century productions. pic.twitter.com/loYSmR21zH
— Joseph Mallozzi
Former Romanian dictator Nicolae Ceaușescu's favorite film was Babe: Pig in the City. He would attend public screenings of the film and openly weep at the part where the hero pig rescues a dog that has fallen into a canal – a rare emotional display for an East European strongman.
— Joseph Mallozzi
Most know that Viagra was a happy accident, the byproduct of a failed treatment for angina possessed of "interesting side effects", but few are aware that lip balm was originally created to treat anal fissures.
— Joseph Mallozzi
A swordless El Cid once bested a group of armed Valencian thugs by making impromptu but deadly use of a mounted swordfish and two stuffed hummingbirds.
— Joseph Mallozzi
In George Lucas's first draft of the script for Star Wars IV: A New Hope, the Luke Skywalker character was originally named Monticello von Hapsburg after a neighbor's dachshund, but the name was changed following a property dispute.
— Joseph Mallozzi
In 1993, gifted operatic tenor Luciano Pavarotti was accused of profiting from three pictures purportedly copied from a how-to-draw book published in 1972. Years later, he courted controversy once again through his vehement insistence that he invented created Grape Nuts cereal.
— Joseph Mallozzi
When it first aired in 1968, 60 Minutes was originally titled 54 Minutes and Mostly Laxative Commercials. It featured profiles of presidential contenders Richard Nixon and Hubert Humphrey, a discussion on the nature of reality, and Mike Wallace singing Jumping Jack Flash.
— Joseph Mallozzi
The tomato was considered poisonous in America until Robert Gibbon Johnson ate one on the steps of the Old Salem County Courthouse in 1820. A month later, he'd make a show of consuming two more items long thought toxic and unfit for human consumption: oysters and Orange Fanta.
— Joseph Mallozzi
Prior to 1906, hot dogs were comprised of mostly pork testicles and balsa wood shavings. Now, thanks to the creation of the Food and Drug Administration, these ingredients may only compose no more than 14% of your average wiener.
— Joseph Mallozzi
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November 27, 2022
November 27, 2022: Suji Sunday!
Getting into the Christmas spirit.
Suji loves her flowers.
Never misses a photo op.
Waiting ro her next treat.
Sleeping Beauty….
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November 26, 2022
November 26, 2022: The Horror Marathon continues with Run Sweetheart Run, Barbarian, the Menu and Black Thunder!
Run Sweetheart Run (2020)
After what seems to be an innocent date, Cherie now faces a night of terror when her date hunts her down and tries to kill her. She now must run for her life throughout the city and escape his grasp.
My thoughts: Ponderous, predictable, and pedantic, this movie delivers its social commentary with all the subtlety of a bludgeoning. And then it takes a supernatural turn and really goes off the rails.
1.5/5
Barbarian (2022)
A woman staying at an Airbnb discovers that the house she has rented is not what it seems.
My thoughts: A fantastic first act is ultimately squandered by a disappointing third act hinging on a reveal far less clever than its brilliant set-up.
3.5/5
The Menu (2022)
A young couple travels to a remote island to eat at an exclusive restaurant where the chef has prepared a lavish menu, with some shocking surprises.
My thoughts: A delicious send-up of the gourmand scene, skewering shows like Chef’s Table, celebrity chefs, avant-garde cuisine, and culinary influencers.
Today’s Yes/No…
Black Thunder Shiro Noir? Yes/No
Black Thunder becomes an epic chocolate dessert at Japanese cafe chain https://t.co/l7y2FzJBOn via @RocketNews24En
— Joseph Mallozzi
The post November 26, 2022: The Horror Marathon continues with Run Sweetheart Run, Barbarian, the Menu and Black Thunder! appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.
November 25, 2022
November 25, 2022: Your Handy Guide to Weird Yokai!
The ugly, hairy, unkempt Nigawara is the horned manifestation of insincere laughter and forced amusement, usually found in board meetings or company picnics where bosses are at their most “hilarious”.
The Hajikkaki are said to be the spirits of individuals who died of embarrassment. They are so shy that they live underground and should you dig one up, you’ll risk the curse of a mortally embarrassing incident. Source @matthewmeyerart
The Onryō are vengeful spirits so consumed by their desire for revenge that they may cause large-scale collateral damage in pursuit of their quest – disasters like earthquakes, tsunamis, or the Patriots winning another Super Bowl.
The Kamikiri is a yokai with scissor-like hands and a razor-sharp beak notorious for sneaking up on people and giving them unwelcome haircuts. They are said to stalk areas frequented by patrons with long hair – like urban neighborhoods of the Edo period and heavy metal concerts.
You’re strolling through your local red light district late at night when you heart it – a booming cackle. Look up and you’ll see her – a giant kimono-clad lacy with heavy make-up looming over you. She is a KeraKera Onna, the spirit of a woman who once worked the area.
Today’s Yes/No…
Fuwatoro Tamago Noko Demi Gurakoro? Yes/No
McDonald’s Japan’s Fuwatoro Tamago Noko Demi Gurakoro is coming to warm us up this winter https://t.co/szZdhMxfs5 via @RocketNews24En
— Joseph Mallozzi
The post November 25, 2022: Your Handy Guide to Weird Yokai! appeared first on Joseph Mallozzi's Weblog.
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