Joseph Mallozzi's Blog, page 112
September 22, 2022
September 22, 2022: The Horror Marathon continues!
75 films in and 3/4 through this Horror Marathon…
Speak No Evil (2022)
A Danish family visits a Dutch family they met on a holiday. What was supposed to be an idyllic weekend slowly starts unraveling as the Danes try to stay polite in the face of unpleasantness.
Thoughts: A slow-burn gem that quietly and creepily builds from disquieting to disturbing to deeply dark.
4.5/5
Thesis (1996)
While researching a thesis on violence, a young woman comes across a video depicting a murder. She soon discovers that the victim was a former student in her faculty…
Thoughts: Although it feels strangely dated, it’s a taut thriller that does a terrific job of keeping the audience off-balance until the very end.
4/5
What Josiah Saw (2021)
A family with buried secrets reunite at a farmhouse after two decades to pay for their past sins.
Thoughts: The unbearable wait for something to happen ultimately yields a stunning reveal that is, in turn, superseded by an even more stunning revelation. Bleak and lethargically paced, but the ending is a shocker.
3.5/5
Today’s Yes/No…
Hot Sauce Popsicles? Yes/Nohttps://t.co/U4QhjYIAgs
— Joseph Mallozzi
(@BaronDestructo) September 22, 2022
I am intrigued.
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September 21, 2022
September 21, 2022: Amazing Covers!
A few that caught my eye this week…
Fantastic Four #47 – cover art by Russell Dauterman
Iron Cat #4 – cover art by Kei Zama
Star Wars: Darth Vader #27 – cover art by Rahzzah
20th Century Men #2 – cover art by S. Morian
Batman: One Bad Day – Two-Face #1 – cover art by Javier Fernandez Barranco
Catwoman #47 – cover art by Jeff Dekal
Pearl III #5 – cover art by Zu Orzu
Best of 2000 AD vol. 1 – cover art by Jamie McKelvie
The Complete Omni – cover art by John Cassaday
So, which were YOUR favorites?
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September 20, 2022
September 20, 2022: The Tuesday Edition!
Cozy rice monkey (https://t.co/ADXDLOTV01)
All these idiots using original NyQuil instead of cherry NyQuil in their recipes. smh
— Joseph Mallozzi
Riding in style…
The interior of the Orient Express. This long-distance passenger train
was created in 1883. pic.twitter.com/DoYruVDoFO
— History In Pictures (@HistoryInPics) July 30, 2022
Finishing up a first draft of my new pilot tomorrow and casting it off into the cruel world, perhaps never to be seen or heard from again.
Then, I start work on that android series pilot! Do love me my androids.
Suji has been unusually cranky of late. Not sure what’s up.
Today’s Yes/No…
Butter Drink? Yes/No
Thanks/Blame @Thogar for the heads up.
The Butter Drink, Japanese convenience store’s new drinkable butter, has people perplexed https://t.co/Whp5heOYbW
— Joseph Mallozzi
Yes!
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September 19, 2022
September 19, 2022: Your Handy Guide to Weird Yokai!
Pity the poor kitchen grater, dulled by years of improper storage, usage, and care, that transforms into a Yama Oroshi, resembling a porcupine with its blunted slicers adorning its head like a hat out of Philip Treacy’s new fall collection.
The yellow-bodied, big-headed Bake ichō no sei are the spirits of gingko trees that haunt, appropriately enough, old gingko trees, striking their tiny gongs and generally making people uncomfortable with their odd appearance and weird behavior.
Has your cat recently demonstrated an affinity for walking around on its hindquarters, a sudden talent for playing musical instruments, or the ability to manifest fireballs? If so, then it may be turning into a Bakeneko, a yokai bent on revenge after years of neglect.
The Uwan is so-named because of its penchant for jumping out of hiding and shouting “Uwan!”, startling unwary travelers and feeding on their fear. Should you ever encounter one, shout “Uwan!” back and it will flee into the night, never to mess with you again.
The Byōbu Nozoki is the degenerate spirit of a decorative folding screen that spies on people having sex. Should you ever glimpse a tall, creepy individual with long black hair and black teeth leering at you, just ignore them. They’ll eventually go away. Whenever you’re done.
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September 18, 2022
September 18, 2022: Suji Sunday!
Rosie the Wheeler.
Nap position.
Out and about.
Puppuccino
Daddy’s girl.
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September 17, 2022
September 17, 2022: The Horror Marathon continues!
Rare Exports (2010)
In the depths of the Korvatunturi mountains, 486 meters deep, lies the closest ever guarded secret of Christmas. The time has come to dig it up.
Thoughts: A good-looking production that isn’t really an effective horror movie and yet, at the same time, isn’t a very successful kids’ movie either. All the ingredients are there for one or the other, but the movie fails to live up to either potential.
3/5
She Dies Tomorrow (2020)
Amy thinks she’s dying tomorrow…and it’s contagious.
Thoughts: I enjoyed the understated dark humor but it all too often feels like an overly long SNL skit.
3.5/5
Titane (2021)
Following a series of unexplained crimes, a father is reunited with the son who has been missing for 10 years.
Thoughts: Ultimately, ridiculous. But you do you.
3/5
Today’s not-so-horrific Yes/No…
Sweet Potato Ice Cream? Yes/No
Häagen-Dazs’ Japan’s new sweet potato ice cream disappoints AND completely satisfies us https://t.co/FoFd8pyoVH via @RocketNews24En
— Joseph Mallozzi
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September 16, 2022
September 16, 2022: Akemi going bake-crazy!
Akemi made focaccia today: garlic powder, rosemary, thyme, and oregano. Delicious.
She also made this ultra-dense, ultra bittersweet matcha cake with custard cream. Also delicious.
Came across this marvelous concept art from SG-1’s pilot episode, “Children of the Gods”. How come we never saw more of the Jaffa bands jammin’ to the oldies? Cartego Choo Choo. Jebanna 6-5000. Mak’tal the Knife.
What nonsense is this? Oh, it’s today’s Yes/No…
Corn Glizzy? Yes/Nohttps://t.co/YJ73exFJxs
— Joseph Mallozzi
Man, this one’s reach.
I've cancelled all my subscriptions. Will resubscribe once they either pick up a show from me OR start offering an alphabetical listing by category. One or the other. They can choose.
Absolutely no pressure. https://t.co/bPVfbvpuoV
— Joseph Mallozzi
Seriously…
Everyone else: "I'm watching season 3 of CSI: New Guinea, the third season of The Good Accountant, the last season of Horny Surgeons, and that new sci-fi series on Mediocrity Plus."
Me: "I…haven't heard of any of these shows."
— Joseph Mallozzi
Just came back from a very interesting discussion concerning a time travel project. Let’s call this one…Project Time Travel! Finished the first draft of Project Wolf. Taking a few days away from it, then will give it a re-read this weekend with a mind to punching up it up before sending it to my agents next week. Also next week – a zoom call to discuss the outline for Project Androids. Meanwhile, I await further word on Project Sci-fi/Kpop, Project Big Ship, and Project Gunpowder.
Pleased to report that my Snow Monkeys have kicked off the new fantasy football season with wins across both leagues. Is this the year they go both go undefeated? Probably.
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September 15, 2022
September 15, 2022: Your Handy Guide to Weird Yokai!
Kamaitachi are whirlwind-riding weasels that knock men (and only men) down, slashing their ankles with their sickle-like claws that injure yet, at the same time, temporarily anaesthetize the wounds. Beware the wind!
The Nurikabe is an invisible yokai with a tendency to block roads. And there is no way around it, thus providing the perfect excuse for times when you’re running late. Although imperceptible to the naked eye, artists of the Edo period still managed to detail its true form.
The Abumiguchi is a lonely stirrup, abandoned on the field of battle. Forlorn, it awaits the return of its owner – a fallen warrior who will, sadly, never come back for it.
Have you noticed mysterious child-like footprints getting tracked through the ash or soap powder of your home? If so, then your household may be haunted by Zakishi Warashi, spirits that take the form of child ghosts. Drive them away and you risk cursing your home with bad luck.
Once a year, on the night of the Lunar New Year, the Apposha, a big-headed red demon, crawls out of the Sea of Japan. It wanders through towns, banging on a tea kettle, going from house to house requesting food and the odd mischievous child it can drag back to the sea with it.
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September 14, 2022
September 14, 2022: Amazing Covers!
A few that caught my eye this week…
Batman Vs. Robin #1 – cover art by Joshua Middleton
Harley Quinn: 30th Anniversary Special #1 – cover art by Adam Hughes
Harley Quinn: 30th Anniversary Special #1 – cover art by Stjepan Sejic
The Human Target Book 1 – cover art by Greg Smallwood
Immortal Red Sonja #6 – cover art by Lesley “Leirix” Li
So, which were YOUR favorites?
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September 13, 2022
September 13, 2022: Projects on deck!
A little over a year and a half ago, I was asked to put together a pitch for an I.P. I gave it some thought, put together three solid pitches, sent them away…and never heard back. Until six months later when I was asked to put send in some original pitches completely unconnected to the previous batch. Again, I set aside a few days, came up with three pitches, and sent them away. Success! Of sorts. One pitch was developed for a few months and subsequently shelved before discussion moved on to another I.P. A few back and forth emails and then this prod co. went radio silent on me (It’s been about five months and counting). I’m done with them, but that’s not the point of this story. One of the three original pitches on the second round was, I thought, an ideal candidate for a comic book series, so I pitched it to a publisher who liked it, asked me to develop it a little further, and then ultimately passed. It couldn’t have worked out any better. These failed starts have convinced me that this idea is destined to succeed for the simple reason that, when it does get produced, I can go on record and talk about the the places that missed out. Like HBO passing on Mad Men or or FOX passing on the Sopranos. To a much lesser extent of course.
Next to a deadline, revenge is my greatest motivation. And so, fueled by this experience, I started work on the pilot last week. I am now 45 pages in and closing in on the end of the fourth act. I hope to have a solid draft to send to my reps by early next week – one pilot to pick into the maelstrom! I’ve often said that the ones that get green lit are the ones you least expect, and I couldn’t imagine a more improbable candidate than this one. Let’s call it…Project Wolf!
Article 3 of the Student Constitution clearly states that if a teacher is more than 10 minutes late, class is cancelled. Every high school kid knows this.
— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) September 13, 2022
I recall accepting this as fact back in high school, like it was a fact, marked by legal precedent, agreed upon by all parties.
This one’s evergreen…
Painter Berthold Woltze's The Irritating Gentleman, 1874
Private Collection pic.twitter.com/Z16SGpZKus
— History Defined (@historydefined) September 12, 2022
I need one of these…
17th century Emerald cup made of 252 carats of pure emerald with Persian verses inscribed on it. It belonged to Emperor Jehangir of Mughal India. pic.twitter.com/wxn4Z6D5d2
— History Defined (@historydefined) September 11, 2022
Today’s Yes/No…
Grilled Sweet Potato Brûlée Frappuccino? Yes/No
Starbucks New "Baked Sweet Potato Brulee Frappuccino" – Savory and Creamy! Also, the autumnal "Pumpkin Spice Latte" is also available! https://t.co/YBqLWUhCUq via @entabecom
— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) September 13, 2022
Wish we had this in North America!
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