Jarrod Kimber's Blog, page 115

John Howard carries his bat

I really thought one photo would be enough on this issue, but I was wrong.

The ICC train wreck needs at least last look before we all go off and do something far more important, like shaving neighbourhood cats.

The Australian Mistake:

It was great thinking to pick John Howard over a better candidate with more experience in the field from a country that has never had an ICC president.  Malcolm Speed said that this was a political move by the other countries to block Howard.  Fuck me, what goes...

Wine Me, Dine Me, 99 Me

As Radiohead almost said*, anyone can score a hundred. Anyone. Jrod's done it. I've done it. Hell, even Monty Panesar has done it. All it takes is timing, a bit of good fortune, a lot of patience and, in my case, the rather benign bowling of your own grandfather.

Scoring a hundred is child's play. Sachin Tendulkar has almost a hundred of them in international cricket alone, and he's only 3′6″ in his stockinged feet. Scoring 99 is something special, though. Scoring 99 not out even more so...

balls profile: Angelo Mathews

No player has changed his name mid tournament with more aplomb than Mathews.  Mathews could be one of the greatest all rounder's of his generation or a medium paced hack who slaps the ball around a bit that people forget before they finish their bottle of wipe out. There has always been a rumour that he doesn't exist.

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John Howard shown the door by the ICC

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They say our ICC is dysfunctional, and it is. But today that dysfunction mixed with some over inflated self importance got rid of this vile mother fucker.

Yay for dysfunction.

Australia have already replaced John Howard in the squad with Steven O'Keefe.

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balls profile: Shoaib Malik

No other player has tried so hard to improve his political standing in a side while getting married over the phone to a woman who he has never met.  Some think that Malik is a bit of a cunt, others really don't like him.  Malik might be one of the most famous bits and pieces cricketers in the world.  Once thanked every Muslim in the world for supporting Pakistan.  Is destined for a job in Pakistani parliament, or a career as an assistant manager at a cardboard manufacturer.

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How to be the new McGrath

According to cricinfo we have the new new new McGrath coming out in Peter George.  The new McGrath being Finn, the new new McGrath being Hazelwood, for those who are slow on the uptake when it comes to new model McGraths.

It seems that now "new McGarthism" is the most popular trend in world cricket, just beating momentum and spitting at Suliemann Benn.  Apparently in club cricket all over the planet there are young quicks who can't wait to bowl within themselves for hours on end with no...

balls profile: Brad Haddin

Looks more like the clichéd Australian wicket keeper than was ever thought possible. Hits the ball a long way and can, on occasion, stop a ball. . Has a rare hand condition that means he cannot feel the stumps when heis hands knocks up against them.  Once played cricket with Merv Hughes for a team called the comets. Has openly talked about the size of Phil Jaques nuts.

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The Prince gives up the gloves

Prince Brendon McCullum has finally done what he had leaked, inferred and generally showed us on many an occasion he was thinking about by giving up his role as test keeper.

No keeper since Tim Zoehrer (who often took the gloves off to bowl leggies) has shown such casual regard for the skill that got him into international cricket in the first place.

The Prince is talented, but that talent hasn't exactly been oozing out of his stats now has it.

In test cricket, the game where he is giving up...

balls profile: Tim Southee

Played such a good first game that he was offered a part in a Peter Jackson film.  He is now up on charges of theft by deception. After the ball stops swinging all you are left with is those magnificent teeth. Is currently a better batsman than Chris Martin.  NZC have still not decided if Tim is the prodigal son or the black sheep.  Others don't care.

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The reasons for and against the UDRS

For:

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Against:

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EDIT: As some have pointed out, Harper could be for as well, but when in charge of 3rd umpire duties, he is against, way against.

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