Jarrod Kimber's Blog, page 114

the olympics blog

I've started another blog.

Obviously there is something wrong with me.

This one is about the Olympics.

It will be like the balls, about the next Olympics, if that wets your crotch, come over, if not, never mind.

The London Olympics Blog, come deep inside the 5 rings with me.

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there is nothing like pakistani fielding

We all know Pakistani fielding is bad.

We've all seen Ajmal.

Hardly a game goes by when they don't fumble every third ball.

Catches are always iffy at best.

And run outs are less likely than overthrows.

But when you haven't seen them live for a while the true shithouse nature of it really hits you in the face.

At the ground you can see the fielders criss cross behind the ball instead of just running to it.

Running to it like they are going to do a left handed pick up, even though they aren't.

I'll...

The sound of cricket in England

This is how loud it is from the press box.

I hope the sound works, cause I can't hear it when I play it back.

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balls profile: Tim Bresnan

Is notorious for being easily upset over his weight.  Has big talent and a huge appetite for wickets.  Graeme Swann seems to think he is stupid, or at least likes to take the piss out of him for it.  For all that stupidness he is often quite a clever bowler.  His batting is something, I'm just not sure what yet.  Comes from Yorkshire, but seems way less annoying than Boycott.  Wants to be England's next all rounder, but is clearly way too fit to ever be offered the job.  Perfect for pie or...

Tragedy for England as they lose Ashes momentum

The worst possible scenario has happened to the English cricket team, they have lost cricket's most valuable ethereal element, 'momentum'.

Sure they won the series, but what is the point of a win if you can't take buckets of momentum with you.

Australia winning two one dayers in a row has meant that they can claim to have the momentum as the take the field in the first ashes test.

Yes I understand that we are in July and the Ashes don't starat till November and don't finish till January, but...

balls profile: Hashim Amla

When he first came into cricket his batting was overshadowed by his beard.  Now his beard is overshadowed by his batting.  Has the patience of a well trained robot.  Is stylish, but not in a wow he is stylish way.  Has mastered the rare art of understated batting sexiness.  Makes lots of runs in a row, then hibernates in bad form for a while.  Could one day be captain, or, a stylish lawyer who defends the undefendable. His favourite commentator is not Dean Jones.

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balls profile: Mahmudullah

The sophisticated good looks and smoothness is the reason many refer to Mahmudullah as the Bangladeshi Cary Grant. His simple elegance means that he is more than capable with bat or ball. He is also cool in a crisis, has great posture and a cosmopolitan feeling to him. Seems to get ignored in a team of underachievers. Has the capability to be a poster boy for Armani in Bangladesh. Should be batting at 5 in this side and bowling more overs than he does. Is one of 73 off spinning all...

Dirty Dirk in the toilet at Lord's

I should say he wasn't actually in the toilet at Lord's, but he was in there via this picture.

[image error]Forget for a moment that Dirk looks like he would rather be anywhere else than the photo shoot.

And even forget that Lebara have found the cheapest no name shirts they could for the ad, and think about what this could have been.

It is placed above the piss troughs at the grounds, it should be Dirk with a shit eating grin on his face, pointing his camera down like he is taking a picture of your cock...

Steve Waugh has never seen 'Dude, where's my car?'

Yet again I was invited to the MCC's world committee (MCCWC from now on) meeting.

Last year I had a run in with Steve Waugh that resulted in me being mentally disintegrated.

This year I had no idea what would come of the whole trip, would Rahul Dravid bitch slap me, would Shaun Pollock and I get caught up in a coversaation about the Pixies, the possibilities were endless.

If you have never been to a cricket ground the day before an international match, I recommend you do. Lord's is a great o...

balls profile: Elton Chigumbura

Has become the Zimbabwe captain despite the fact he is a non bowling all rounder (by non bowling I don't mean he doesn't bowl, I mean he shouldn't).  Hits the ball very hard, I assume because everyone is sledging him because of his name.  One of his great ambitions in life has always been to play county cricket.  Fair to say he lacks ambition.  Should be the poster boy for minnow powerhouse hitting, and maybe even an IPL back up in the near future.  Is Eninem's favourite cricket.

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