Jarrod Kimber's Blog, page 118

The England IPL disaster

As I turned up for Surrey's first T20 of the year I couldn't help but make comparisons between this competition and the IPL.  Sure I've never been to an actual IPL game, but we've all been to an IPL game in spirit.

I arrived about 15 minutes before the start of play, and so did about 300 other people.  It meant I, and Suave, got to see how the "crowd" was pumped up.  First the Surrey cheerleaders were brought out, in long pants.  Surely this proves that cheerleaders and the English climate...

Going Niyazov

There are several perks to working with Jrod. For example, it is not often that I get to be the least sweary one in a room. Or the handsomest. And it isn't that often that you get a book acknowledgment which is more glowing than the one that the author gives to his English teacher. But what really makes it worthwhile are some of the conversations. The conversations are, at times, surreal.

Last week,  for example, I was accused of being like this guy, during a conversation in which the...

Mothers, never let your children be wicket keepers

Yesterday I wrote all about the fingers of Rahim.

Those delightful little of hands of his getting pounded by Shahzad.

When a batsmen gets hit in the fingers it is rough, but when a keeper does, it just seems unfair.

We've all met a wicket keeper over the years who has fingers pointing in more directions than one of those wacky road signs.

The last thing they need is to be hit when batting.

But as much as this last test sucked for Rahim, it was Prior that seemed to be living in pure sorrow.

Here...

Yuvraj's waist now almost as big as his ego

India's former chief chef has criticised the dropping of Yuvraj Singh. The chef told Oprah. "had they just said, 'Sit on the reinforced bench. You'll be in the reserves, we are playing somebody else but be part of the team, get your roundness right, get your act right, buy a pedometer and get disciplined also.' That would give him more encouragement."

While many larger men play world cricket, not everyone has the innate athleticism of a Jesse Ryder to pull around the extra pounds around so...

Ray Price Wins

I've seen not one ball of the incredibly important series of One Day Internationals that Zimbabwe, Sri Lanka and India played in. 

All I know is that India kept losing, Sri Lanka lost a few times, and Zimbabwe won.

And by Zimbabwe, you know I mean RAY PRICE WINS.

When Ray Price wins, the whole world wins.

Middle aged men who have spent their whole life paying the bills, ageing poorly, growing ear hair, crushing the dreams of the young and clogging up the establishment now have an angry psycho...

Rahim's fingers

There was a moment on the last day when Mushfiqur Rahim kept getting hit on the fingers.

It wasn't some important moment in the game. Bangladesh had already batted like left handed children using right handed scissors for the first time. The players and reporters were already preparing for their days off. Cleaners were coming into place. Old Trafford's accountants were working out how much they had lost. And the sky programmers were busy planning back ups.

All of this was put on hold as ...

Previously at Old Trafford

Bangladesh

Tamim is a world class batsmen, Shakib is very smart bowler and Bangladesh often play cricket like a bunch of kids who turned up at the park.

England

Seem to crawl up into a ball and cry when Tamim bats, but luckily Bangladesh helped them with the rest.  Swann's five for and Bell's hundred seemed like gifts.

Can Bangladeshi draw?

No. Poor little fellas. Watching them lose 9 for way fucken less than they should have was horrible.

Play of the day

You have to give Matt Prior credit, he...

The time has come for Crashraful

Almost since the first time I saw Crashraful bat, I liked him.

Back then he was a cocky mentalist with a taste for the flashiest shots of pure madness.

He could make a cut shot as addictive as heroin.

Everyone who saw him on song couldn't help but be amazed.

Now he is shit.

I could write more than shit, I could explain about how he leaves balls that are going to hit his stumps, plays shots that can only get him out, and walks out to the wicket like a man who was getting paid 1000 bucks to c...

Previously at Old Trafford

Bangladesh

Took a few wickets, but went out of their own way not to put too much pressure on the incoming batsmen. They did well considering Shafiul Islam was off the field for a large part of the day. But, you know, not that well.

England

Is still playing this series like they have just woken up from a massive bender.

Can Bangladeshi win?

This was a good day for them, but not enough to really get into a position to win, yet. Their batsmen still have to conquer this pitch as well, but they do...

KP is human, and that unsettles me

There is something wonderfully insane about KP.

Sure you can pick on the old hairstyle, stupid tattoo, celebrity lady, mincing or what ever it is you've decided is the thing that pisses you off.

Most of us just assume he isn't quite human.

He doesn't quite feel right.

So today, once Shafiul Islam had bowled himself into the ground, KP looked around and realised that he was facing three spinners who struggle to spin the ball, and Shahadat Hossain who was struggling to do anything.

He could...