Jarrod Kimber's Blog, page 109

Nice Bryce takes 5 for Essex

[image error]I actually wrote this last night, which is tonight for me.  Or to be technical I wrote it after midnight, so earlier this morning.

I tell you that because the headline says that Bryce McGain took 5 wickets.

Now he may not have.

There is a chance, however slim, that Bryce, in his first game for Essex, did not take 5 wickets.

Life is unpredictable, years ago I kicked random cats, now i kick my own.

So while Bryce is probably going to take a five for in his first bowl ever in county cricket, he may n...

Keeping Kamran

[image error]I love wicketkeeping.

I don't know why.  I was never that good at it.

Recently I bought a book about great keepers of the ages.  That makes me one of the great wicket keeping nerds of all time.

Give me a yarn about side stepping and side stepping and I'm all yours.

That is why I feel ill now.

I've had to sit and commentate a whole day of Kamran Akmal "keeping".

That is right, his wicket keeping is now so shit that it can't even be called keeping, you need the "" there to really explain it.

Akmal...

batting pitches are shit

Oh come on.

This is complete and utter bullshit.

Test cricket, kiddies, shouldn't be played on pitches they only way you can get a wicket is by producing a knife.

8 wickets in 3 days?

Why even make test bowlers go through this?

Let's get a bunch of inmates from a local prison, and make them bowl all day long so these soft batsmen can really score at a good rate.

And why bother with fielders?

Let's just have cardboard cut outs.

Shit, we can make money off it too.  They don't have to be human sized...

Samit Patel Sticks Two Fingers Up (and this time he's not ordering seconds)

You remember Samit Patel. Rotund chap of Indian descent. Once took a Michelle in an ODI for England, before he was dropped – not for losing form, but for, well, having too much of a form.

Now, a lot of players would, at this point, have gone off, spent every working minute in the gym, developed an addiction to lettuce and ended up with the kind of torso that makes a golf club look fat.

Not our Samit, though. Even allowing for the fact that I was looking at him on television (which apparently...

New special guest podcast

A new podcast on the Aussies performance against Pakistan with the special guest star.

It would have been longer, but someone rang his door bell.

Powered by Podbean.com

For the download.

Available on itunes.

Here is the feed

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The 145th T20 match in England this season was old

Amazingly the T20 tournament from hell is still going.

Every now and then it stops, other cricket gets played, and I assume it is over, but then it comes back again.

The Quarter finals were on last night.  The semi finals and final are some time next month.

The 146th game was won by the Victorian Outlaws.

But the 145th game caught my attention.

I was grabbing a bite to eat and sat down at the right time to see the start of the game.

Opening the batting for Warwickshire was:

Neil Carter, 35, South...

The New Harmy

Mitchell Johnson plays better at home than away.

Mitchell Johnson can be a monster.

Mitchell Johnson often bowls balls that barely hit the cut strip.

Mitchell Johnson seems like a good bloke.

Mitchell Johnson is prone to bouts of bowling hopelessness.

Mitchell Johnson can bowl very fast.

Mitchell Johnson is a confidence bowler.

Mitchell Johnson can hurt people.

Mitchell Johnson is not the most stable individual.

Mitchell Johnson can donate runs.

Mitchell Johnson has destroyed good batting line ups.

Mitc...

Name that Mascot

The ICC need your help.

For the world cup they are doing what people do and having a mascot.

No one knows why, but someone did it once and it worked, so now everyone hires some  lithium addicted graphic designer to come up with a mascot that will be mocked or ignored.

This mascot is an elephant.  My mother in law owned an elephant once, it isn't true, but that is what I tell the whities.

It isn't the worst mascot ever, but by definition of being a mascot it sucks a fair chunk of ass.

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But the...

The two sides of Salman Butt

Watching Pakistan in the field this test was always going to be interesting. With Butt as the new sheriff in town.

Captain's should never be judged on one game, but let me do it anyway, Butt's captaincy varied from the inspired, the forgetful and the shambolic.

Like most captains he was dependent on his bowlers, who were dependent on the weather.

But his captaincy during the Smith innings fell apart.

The field was set without common sense getting a say. Everyone seemed to want to chat to ...

So Farewell, Then…Rudi Koertzen

Rudolf Eric Koertzen. A name sufficiently Germanic to strike a tremor in the heart of a batsman, and that is before he set foot on the cricket field.

The thing about Random Rudi is that he always was, well, Random Rudi. You knew exactly what you were going to get with him – the odd decision so brilliant that you thought 'How the hell did he get that right?', balanced by the howler that made you think 'How the hell did he get that wrong?'.

There is a myth that his decision making became...