Hannah Braime's Blog, page 32

Kind and Creative #1

This time last year, I started a blog feature called “Something for the Weekend”, which rounded up the best stuff I’d read online over the past seven days.

Recently, I’ve been wanting to bring this feature back and share not just links, but other things that I find useful, thought-provoking, and downright interesting too. Since last year, the focus of the blog has changed and my interests have shifted. I’ve found myself becoming a lot more interested in creativity over the past few months since realising that having creative time each day is one of my non-negotiables and helps me at my best. I’ll say more about this another time, but I’ve come to believe that having a creative outlet is an act of self-kindness.

So, all this is a preamble to the re-introduction of this weekly/bi-weekly round-up. It’s back, it’s bigger, and hopefully better than before…

Here’s what I’ve been loving this week:

Watching

I skipped my graduation ceremony, but would have 100% attended to hear this speech.

Look up.

Reading

You can do hard things via Nona Jordan.

What you see. Dance parties for all!

Searching for false truth from a minimalist perspective.

Sarah Von Bargen has some words for wisdom for anyone who has wondered what self-love really means, and for those of us who were taught the “waste not, want not” approach to food.

Do you experience FOMO? Here are 30+ mantras for people who over-work, over-commit, and are generally terrified of missing out via Alexandra Franzen.

“But how do we find this sense of integrity in our lives, particularly when work-stress seems to creep home with us no matter what? (Note: Smart phones don’t help with this.) The answer: self-care.”

A step-by-step guide to creating an at-home retreat? Yes please (via Kyla Roma).

“The only common framework you and your body have at this point are your actions and the pattern you set it that it “listens” to. Imagine how terrifying it is for your body to at one point receive so much food that it can’t deal with it and at another, when you suddenly decide to diet, get what it feels to be nothing at all for weeks on end. So, instead of having a productive dialog where both parties can be happy with the process and the results, you instead each have two halves of a puzzle and no way of putting them together.” from How to Make Your Body Listen by Neila Rey (her workouts also totally rock)

Inspired by…

Cory, who is thru-hiking the Appalachian Trail. It’s a long way, and he’s sharing his experiences and pictures on his blog.

The Making Waves essay contest (open until June 20th!), an essay competition on how we make waves or traverse stormy seas in life, run by Jenn, Rachel, Alicia and Erika.

Thanks for reading. If you know someone who might be interested in this post, please share it using the buttons below.

Get the free ebook “The 5 Most Common Blocks to Authenticity… and How to Overcome Them” plus weekly updates, product discounts and much more:

Image: Dominik Martin

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              Related StoriesEpisode 57: How to Create Lasting Change with Nicole AntoinetteEpisode 56: Meditation and Self-Care with Peter FernandoSelf-love and Acceptance with Lori Deschene from TinyBuddha.com (Part 2) 

Self-Care 101 is live! Get $700 worth of products for just $72 until Thursday

I know that so many of you are passionate about self-care, which is why I’m super excited to announce that Self-Care 101 is here!

Self-Care 101 is a bundle of digital products that provide the module on “how to take care of yourself” that we never received in school. I’ve invited 17 coaches, writers, and well-being experts to contribute some of their most popular ebooks, e-courses and programs that, in total, provide you with over a year’s worth of personal development material.

I’ve contributed my e-course, 4 Weeks of Self-Knowledge, and my book, From Coping to Thriving: How to Turn Self-Care Into a Way of Life. In addition, the bundle also includes:

Cake for Breakfast by Ashley Wilhite (value $97)
Let it Go by Sas Petherick (value $25)
Treasure Hunt: 30 Days of Photo Joy by Andrea Scher (value $49)
Life Source Writing:  by Lynda Monk (value $19.95)
Be Your Own Beloved: Creating Self-Care Policies by Vivienne McMaster (value $29)
Living With Ease: 30 Days to Less Stress by Sandra Pawula (value $47)
Homecoming: A Soulful Journey to Your Innermost Self by Cigdem Kobu (value $59)
31 Days of Deserving by Mara Glatzel (value $31)
More Shenanigans Please by Tiffany Han (value $31)
Eat Well Party Hard by Claire Suellentrop (value $15)
The Aromatherapy Workbook by Elizabeth Milligan (value $7.99)
Love Your Body the Way It Is by Anne-Sophie Reinhardt (value $9.99)
Peace of Mind and Body: 27 Days of Journaling by Mari McCarthy (value $18.97)
The Seeker’s Journey by Loran Hills (value $49)
Rev Up Your Metabolism After 40 by Amy Grams (value $119)
Stop Being Mean to Yourself: Four Commitments to Self-Kindness by Lisa Zahn (value $29)
Jump! Into Your Business, Your Life, Your Dream: Laying the Foundation by Stephanie Hall and Ashley Wilhite (value $99) 

Individually these products are worth over $700, but for 72 hours you can get them for just $72 (a 90% saving). 

You’re here because you’re passionate about personal development, but I also know that the cost of different programs, courses, and books can be prohibitive. I hope you’ll take this opportunity to grab these fab resources and gift yourself a proper education in self-care.

As well as the products, you’ll also get two bonuses: monthly interviews with selected contributors that will dive deeper into why they created their product and how you can make the most out of it, and a suggested lesson plan so you can get the most out of these amazing resources without feeling overwhelmed.

Get over $700 worth of self-care products plus bonuses for just $72 with Self-Care 101!

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As I mentioned, this bundle is only running until 11.59pm PST on Thursday 5th June and when it’s gone, it’s gone! This is a one-time offer, so don’t miss out :)

Click here to learn more about Self-Care 101 and get your copy.

If you have any questions, feel free to email me at hannah {at} becomingwhoyouare {dot} net.

 

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              Related StoriesHow to Be Kind to Yourself When You Don’t Do What You Say You’re Going to Do5 Things to do when you feel like giving upWill You Be Joining Us for a Life-Changing Retreat This October? 

How to Be Kind to Yourself When You Don’t Do What You Say You’re Going to Do

Listen to this post here:

We’ve all had the experience of making a commitment or agreement, then either not fulfilling it, backing out, or half-assing it. I know I have a couple of outstanding tasks on my to-do list right now that have been sitting there for weeks—emails not sent, interviews not completed, and so on—and it’s nagging at me every single day.

If we value integrity, not following through feels horrible because it demonstrates the opposite (unless, of course, you’re dealing with something immoral/dangerous, which I’m assuming you’re not). Doing what we say we’re going to do when we say we’re going to do it is one of the most basic forms of integrity, so when we don’t fulfil this commitment, it can not only affect our relationships, but it also damages our trust in ourselves too.

Facing up to unfulfilled commitments can be a painful process but, in the long-term, it’s the kindest and most helpful thing we can do. Here are five ways you can be kind to yourself when you don’t do what you say you’re going to do:

1. Acknowledge why.

If we say we're going to do something, then don't, there's always a reason.

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Part of responding in a kind way is to be curious with ourselves about what that reason could be. Questions to ask and answer as honestly and objectively as possible include:

How did you feel when thinking about this commitment or agreement?
What else was happening in your life?
What really got in the way of you meeting this commitment?
If this wasn’t something you wanted, or had the time, to do, why did you make the agreement or commitment in the first place?

Approach these questions from a place of compassion, rather than criticism. While this isn’t about giving yourself an easy pass, it is important to acknowledge the other factors that played into this situation.

If you can’t identify any obvious external factors, think about the feelings underneath your resistance or avoidance: did you notice feeling some fear or worry around the commitment? Did you feel out of your depth? Did you feel overwhelmed? Again, approach this exploration from a place of self-compassion. We all have our blind spots, and the more we can direct attention and compassion to them, the more likely we are to be aware of them in the future.

2. Decide how you’d like to make amends.

As I mentioned above, saying we’re going to do something then not doing it is an integrity fail. In order to regain our self-trust, we need to make amends to ourselves, and to any other people involved. Making amends is not the same as apologising; it’s about taking action. What action can you take to make amends in this situation?

3. Check whether what you said you were going to do is aligned with your values, priorities, and personality.

If not, then no wonder you didn’t do it! Use this situation as an opportunity for deeper self-knowledge around your values (you can use the free Discover Your Values workbook for this), short-term and long-term priorities, and your personality. Explore what makes you you, so you can make informed and conscious commitments that are aligned with these things, and decline those that aren’t.

4. Adjust your boundaries.

Constantly expecting too much from ourselves then getting angry and/or frustrated with ourselves when we don’t live up to those expectations is a form of self-sabotage. If you find yourself repeating this pattern, this is a chance to explore the underlying beliefs that are contributing to this cycle.

Equally, finding yourself in this situation might indicate that you need to adjust your boundaries with other people too. Whether you make an agreement or commitment is your responsibility, no matter how persuasive other people are.

5. Prepare for what you’ll do differently next time.

Every situation is a learning experience, and this is no different. When we find ourselves acting in a way that’s out of integrity, we need to make sure this stays an irregular occurrence. Otherwise, we risk breaking trust with ourselves and, in the long-term, developing a self-concept that we’re someone who acts out of integrity, which will be harder to come back from than a one-off incident.

If something got in the way of you doing what you said you were going to do this time, what can you do differently in the future to make sure it doesn’t happen again? Make your steps as clear and actionable as possible, and commit to starting them today.

How are you kind to yourself when you don’t do what you say you’re going to do? Leave a comment and share your thoughts.

P.S. The one question you need to ask if you’re struggling with change & are you avoiding pain or seeking growth?

Thanks for reading. If you know someone who might be interested in this post, please share it using the buttons below.

Get the free ebook “The 5 Most Common Blocks to Authenticity… and How to Overcome Them” plus weekly updates, product discounts and much more:

Image: Tom Butler

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              Related StoriesThe Hardest and Best Parts of Living Life on Your Terms (+ How to Ride the Waves)The True Meaning of Kindness5 Things to do when you feel like giving up 

5 Things to do when you feel like giving up

Hi folks! I’m trying out a new feature on the blog, something I’ve decided to call “blogcasts”! Now, you can choose whether to read the post, or whether to listen to the audio version through the nifty SoundCloud app below. What do you think of this feature? Let me know :)

In the moment, it can feel like you’re the only one, but we’ve all been in some kind of situation that’s left us feeling drained, exasperated, hopeless and ready to give up.

Just because you feel like giving up doesn't mean that it's in your best interests to do so.

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 Self-kindness involves doing things that feel uncomfortable in the short-term to reap benefits in the long-term, so it’s important to be able to differentiate between the times when it might be in our best interests to give up and times when it might be in our best interests to face this feeling head on.

Here are five things you can do when you feel like giving up:

1. Give yourself permission to start small and do the minimum

One of the feelings underlying an urge to give up can be overwhelm. This is likely to come up around big projects, long-term visions, and activities where there is little visible short-term gain. We might also feel fear. We’re all familiar with the concept of fear of failure, but fear of success is just as tangible for most of us. This fear can manifest in the form of procrastination and resistance, which fuels our overwhelm and consequently our desire to give up and move on.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by a project or goal, give yourself permission to do just 10 minutes of that project or goal each day. Once you take the pressure off, over time you’ll find that you start wanting to do more than 10 minutes and the desire to give up will dissipate.

2. Reconnect with your “why”

Whatever it is we start, we do so with a reason. Broadly speaking, our reasons can be divided into two categories: intrinsic and extrinsic. Intrinsic reasons focus on our sense of meaning, purpose, and fulfilment in the world. Extrinsic reasons focus on external validation and how we appear to those around us.

Needless to say, you’re a lot more likely to run into challenges and roadblocks if you’re extrinsically motivated, but even if you know your “why” is 100% to do with your own internal motivations, you’ll still experience ups, downs, and hiccups along your path.

When you notice that you’re in the middle of one of these hiccups—and feel like giving up as a result—return to your key reasons for starting. What was it that sparked your passion in the first place? How did you envision your life being different when you had completed this particular project or goal? How does it align with your values and sense of purpose? Taking time to answer these questions will help you reconnect with the project as a whole, rather than the part you’re stuck on right now.

3. Connect with a cheerleader

For any endeavour that takes us out of our comfort zone, we are more likely to succeed if we recruit one or more cheerleaders. Cheerleaders are people in our lives who will give us a healthy dose of objective positivity when the chips are down. I write about cheerleaders more in my free ebook “The 5 Most Common Blocks to Authenticity and How to Overcome Them”, which you get when you join the tribe.

When we’re in the middle of a situation, it’s difficult to extract ourselves enough to view the situation objectively. Cheerleaders can help bring you back to reality so you can see the bigger picture, rather than just the gloomy parts.

4. Stop making it about you

Many times I feel like giving up on something, it’s because my ego takes over. I’ve worried that my writing isn’t good enough, I’ve almost not run courses because I’ve felt embarrassed by the idea that no one might sign up, and I’ve talked myself out of uncomfortable projects (that is, projects that take me outside my comfort zone) because I’m worried I’ll look silly or people will judge me.

The instant cure in all these situations was to take my head out of my own ass, if you’ll pardon the expression. As soon as I stopped focusing on myself, and started looking at the bigger picture, the desire to give up faded. When we shift the focus from ourselves to thinking about how many people our project might help, entertain, and advise, suddenly it doesn’t matter if no one shows up, or if we don’t execute perfectly. What matters is paying attention to the possibilities, and honouring the fact that we have an opportunity to contribute to the world.

5. Give up

In many ways, giving up is highly underrated, which is why I want to include it here on this list of five things to do when you feel like giving up. I wrote more about the power of giving up way back when in 2012. In summary, we feel the way we feel for a reason, and sometimes the desire to give up is our authentic selves telling us what we need to hear.

What are your go-to responses when you feel like giving up? Leave a comment and let me know.

P.S. In case you haven’t heard yet, I’m co-hosting a retreat this October! The Starlight Gathering will provide three days of love, connection and empowerment for introverted women. Spaces are limited and you can currently take advantage of our earlybird special! Click here to find out more and reserve your spot. 

Thanks for reading. If you know someone who might be interested in this post, please share it using the buttons below.

Get the free ebook “The 5 Most Common Blocks to Authenticity… and How to Overcome Them” plus weekly updates, product discounts and much more:

Image credit: Vo Minh Thong

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              Related StoriesWill You Be Joining Us for a Life-Changing Retreat This October?Episode 57: How to Create Lasting Change with Nicole AntoinetteNicole’s Interview 

Will You Be Joining Us for a Life-Changing Retreat This October?

If you’re part of the Becoming Who You Are community, you’ll have seen me drop a few hints over the last couple of weeks about a very special project I’ve been working on behind the scenes.

Well, today’s the day I get to share the juicy details, and I’m excited!

First of all, a short story:

If you’ve been part of the community for a while, you might have heard me talk about the fact that I’m introverted (INFJ, if you’re a fellow Myers-Briggs buff). These days, I’m more than happy with the fact that I get my energy from spending time alone, and I so appreciate how my preferences and personality shape the way I see, experience, and contribute to the world.

It wasn’t always that way, however.

Growing up, being “social” was a real struggle for me. I was the quiet one, mislabeled as rude and anti-social. I was told that I’d end up with no friends unless I changed (hello, social anxiety) and constantly felt like I needed to be someone I wasn’t.

As a result, I withdrew even more. I didn’t understand why I found “normal” things like parties, big social events, and small talk (urgh) so draining, when everyone else seemed to find them effortless, and even enjoyable.

I felt like an outsider, and I was convinced there was something wrong with me.

Several years ago, my now-partner introduced me to Myers-Briggs, and the concepts of introversion and extroversion. Suddenly, it was clear that these so-called “flaws” weren’t really flaws at all.

It was just about energy.

Once I learned more about what introversion really means, how to manage my energy, and, most importantly, how to accept the parts of myself that I’d previously found hard to accept, everything changed.

Now, my story is proof that the myths and stereotypes are wrong. You can be introverted and:

Share your gifts with the world in a meaningful (and sustainable) way
Create beautiful relationships that nurture your true self
Be self-employed/run your own business without crashing and burning
Self-promote (yes, really!)
Cultivate confidence and authenticity rather than trying to be someone you’re not 

 

I’ve gained so much from embracing my introversion, and I want the same for you.

Which brings me to the special project I’ve been talking about…

The Starlight Gathering

The Starlight Gathering is a weekend retreat for introverted women who want to discover what matters most and learn how to manage their energy while sharing their gifts with the world.

This is absolutely for you if:

You want to feel accepted for who you are.
You crave authentic connection and the chance to share your hopes, dreams, desires, and fears with other women who understand.
You want to create a lifestyle where you can manage your energy in a way that suits your personality.
You wish you could better communicate your needs and preferences to the people around you.

 

From 16th-19th October, you’ll be able to enjoy workshops, group discussions, home-cooked food, insights galore and have the chance to connect with 10 other introverted souls just like you.

I’ll be co-hosting the retreat with Ashley Wilhite (you might remember her from episode 52 of the Becoming Who You Are podcast), a lovely and talented life and business coach. Together, we’ll be facilitating three days of connection, love, and empowerment in the beautiful environs of Lake Travis, near Austin, Texas.

As introverts ourselves, we know how important it is to make time for replenishment and rejuvenation, so you’ll also have plenty of time to read, write, rest, and explore the beautiful surroundings of Lake Travis.

Make your October unforgettable. Find out more about the retreat and apply here. 

P.S. FYI: this is the be-you-tiful retreat centre where we’re going to be staying. Ah-mazing! Can’t wait :)

Thanks for reading. If you know someone who might be interested in this post, please share it using the buttons below.

Get the free ebook “The 5 Most Common Blocks to Authenticity… and How to Overcome Them” plus weekly updates, product discounts and much more:

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              Related StoriesEpisode 57: How to Create Lasting Change with Nicole AntoinetteNicole’s InterviewWhat Japanese Pottery Can Teach Us About Feeling Flawed 

Episode 57: How to Create Lasting Change with Nicole Antoinette

In this episode of the Becoming Who You Are podcast, I’m chatting with Nicole Antoinette from Life Less Bullshit. We originally recorded this interview for From Coping to Thriving, but I wanted to share it with you today because Nicole offers a ton of useful advice and suggestions that we can use in many areas of life to create lasting change.

Topics we cover include:

How to talk to yourself if you want to make lasting change
The most important question to ask yourself when embarking on a new habit or change (it’s probably not what you think…)
Why passion is key and the “giving zero fucks” attitude that is vogue in our culture right now won’t help you.
How to keep going when your enthusiasm wanes
Why motivation is BS (and what you need to do instead)

And more.

(Please note: this podcast has a couple of f-bombs and is probably nsfw)

 Say Hello

Nicole: 


Twitter: @NicoleLessBS


Website: lifelessbullshit.com

Hannah:


Twitter: @becomewhour


Facebook: facebook.com/becomingwhoyouare


Website: becomingwhoyouare.net

Subscribe to the Podcast

Thanks for reading. If you know someone who might be interested in this post, please share it using the buttons below.

Get the free ebook “The 5 Most Common Blocks to Authenticity… and How to Overcome Them” plus weekly updates, product discounts and much more:

Photo Credit: James Forbes

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              Related StoriesEpisode 56: Meditation and Self-Care with Peter FernandoEpisode 55: 14 Big Ideas from the Becoming Who You Are PodcastThe One Question You Need to Ask if You’re Struggling with Change 

What Japanese Pottery Can Teach Us About Feeling Flawed

“Ring the bells that can still ring.


Forget your perfect offering.


There is a crack in everything.


That is how the light gets in.”

- Leonard Cohen, Anthem

Kintsukuroi (“golden mend”) is the Japanese art of mending broken pottery using lacquer resin laced with gold or silver.

As well as a nifty form of repair, kintsukuroi has a deeper philosophical significance. The mended flaws become part of the object’s design, and some people believe the pottery to be even more beautiful having gone through the process of being broken and repaired.

Through kintsukuroi, the cracks and seams are merely a symbol of an event that happened in the life of the object, rather than the cause of its destruction.

Like pots, bowls, cups, and plates, we endure our own bumps and scrapes. We experience drops from a dizzying height and unexpected knocks.

Sometimes we experience things that plant the seeds of shame: rejection, betrayal, abandonment, failure. So we try to avoid experiences that leave us vulnerable to these feelings as much as possible, lest the people around us see the evidence of just how imperfect, flawed, and “not good enough” we really are.

In other words, we stay hidden in the cupboard, right behind the best silver, because we don’t want to get a chip, a crack, or a complete break.

That’s not to say that I believe trauma or tragedy automatically makes us more beautiful—I don’t. I’ve known people who have dealt with these things and come out on the other end about as ugly as it gets.

I do believe these experiences change us though—and I think we have a choice.

We can choose to reject our bitter experiences and flaws, to wish and will them away, to regret, to pine, and to live in the land of “If only…” We can disguise with false-self personas, cover up with defences, distract with busyness.

Or we can choose to see these experiences for what they are: our golden seams.

The times when we get scratched, chipped, cracked and broken can feel totally shitty, but there can also be a strange beauty in the way we process them and the lessons we take from them afterwards… if we want.

Our experiences don’t define us, but they do influence us. We can decide to hide, or we can decide to embrace these experiences that have shaped us in some small way, the experiences to which we’ve applied our own special coating of gold-laced resin. We can decide to cover up, or we can decide to walk out into the world as ourselves, mended breaks and all.

Your story is yours to be told. Embrace the experiences that have influenced you.

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Where are your golden seams?

Last chance to register for Reclaim Your Creative Joy.

Reclaim Your Creative Joy: A Journey Into Self-Care for Creative Entrepreneurs starts Monday 5th May. Over 30 days, you’ll learn how to find more balance in your hustle, so you can build a thriving business while reconnecting with the joy and passion that led you to start it in the first place.

Find out more and register here.

Thanks for reading. If you know someone who might be interested in this post, please share it using the buttons below.

Get the free ebook “The 5 Most Common Blocks to Authenticity… and How to Overcome Them” plus weekly updates, product discounts and much more:

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              Related StoriesEpisode 56: Meditation and Self-Care with Peter FernandoHave You Lost Your Creative Joy?The One Question You Need to Ask if You’re Struggling with Change 

Episode 56: Meditation and Self-Care with Peter Fernando

Today’s episode is a conversation with Peter Fernando about self-care and meditation. This is another interview I recorded for the From Coping to Thriving course, but I wanted to share it with you today because meditation is so beneficial to mind, body, and self. I hope this interview inspires your practice and encourages you to experiment.

Topics we cover include:

How to start out with meditation if you’re new to the practice
Some of the most common obstacles to meditation and Peter’s suggestions for overcoming them
The key benefits of meditation
How to meditate when you don’t find it easy to meditate

and more.

 Say Hello

Peter: 


Twitter: @heartfulmindful


Website: monthofmindfulness.info

Hannah:


Twitter: @becomewhour


Facebook: facebook.com/becomingwhoyouare


Website: becomingwhoyouare.net


Email: hannah@becomingwhoyouare.net

Subscribe to the Podcast

 

Thanks for reading. If you know someone who might be interested in this post, please share it using the buttons below.

Get the free ebook “The 5 Most Common Blocks to Authenticity… and How to Overcome Them” plus weekly updates, product discounts and much more:

Photo Credit: ShotHotspot.com via Compfight cc

The post Episode 56: Meditation and Self-Care with Peter Fernando appeared first on Becoming Who You Are.

              Related StoriesEpisode 55: 14 Big Ideas from the Becoming Who You Are PodcastSelf-care: An Important ReminderAre You a Busy-holic? How to Free Yourself from the Grip of Overwhelm and Reclaim Your Life 

Have You Lost Your Creative Joy?

This post is slightly different to usual. I’ve written it primarily for creative entrepreneurs and business-owners (writers/musicians/artists/insert your craft here) but the overall message is still relevant to anyone who wants to live a more intentional life, whether you consider yourself to be creative, entrepreneurial, both, or neither.

Picture this:

You have a thing that fills you with joy. In fact, you love your thing so much that you harbour dreams of making it your full-time gig. You start exploring what it would take, start putting the puzzle pieces in place, until one day: shazam!

You are officially self-employed and spending all day every day doing your thing.

And that’s when it happens.

Your thing stops feeling so fun. Suddenly, it feels pressured and overwhelming. You have deadlines to meet, bills to pay, people aren’t buying your thing, and, in the meantime, it seems like everyone else around you is super duper successful (and not at all going through what you’re going through).

You start to dread your thing. What once got you out of bed in the morning now makes you want to stay hidden under the covers. Most days, you still drag yourself out and force yourself to keep working at your thing. But those initial sparks of passion and deep-rooted feelings of excitement and possibility are long gone.

You’ve lost your creative joy.

Well, not lost. Buried is a more accurate way of describing it. Your creative joy is still in there; it’s just covered by layers of worry, fear, doubt, anxiety, pressure, and overwhelm. The tricky thing is, until you can uncover it, your business is biscuits.

Uber-coach Steve Chandler talks about what he calls The Spirit Ladder.

Here’s one I made earlier:

The gist of The Spirit Ladder is that we do our best creative work when we’re at the top of the ladder. This is the work that allows us to express ourselves, to enter our zone of genius, to best serve our clients, and, through that, to generate more wealth.

We all get this on an intellectual level, yet when it comes to the day-to-day running of our business, the highs and lows, the one step forward two steps back cha-cha, it’s easy to find ourselves slipping down and down, further towards the bottom. When we’re at the bottom, we feel more pressure to do our best work and bring in the cash, yet we’re in the worst place emotionally to make that happen.

This is why self-care is so important.

It’s usually one of the first things to go out of the window when times are crunchy, but self-care is the key to moving up that ladder and approaching our businesses from a place of creative ease, rather than creative squeeze.

This is the same for life. If we go through our daily lives at the bottom of the ladder, we’re short-changing ourselves. We’re denying ourselves the chance to experience those qualities that lie at the top of the ladder, the qualities that make life beautiful.

This doesn’t require big transitions, life-changing decisions, or anything scary. It starts with the questions we ask ourselves and the moment-to-moment decisions we make.

Reclaim Your Creative Joy

If this post is resonating with you, you might be interested in a brand new course I’m offering for creative entrepreneurs. It’s called Reclaim Your Creative Joy and it draws on five years’ experience working for myself as a freelancer and entrepreneur, and dealing with this issue time and time again. 

Starting on May 2nd, we’ll spend 30 days focusing on how to deal with boundaries, fear, uncertainty, scarcity, comparison, time and energy management, and more. The daily emails are short and sweet (after all, I know you have a few other things to be getting on with…) and will help you reconnect with those sparks of passion, bursts of inspiration, and waves of unbounded joy that you envisaged when you started your gig.

This is the first time I’ve run a course like this, so I’m offering it for just $25. To find out more and register, click here.

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Get the free ebook “The 5 Most Common Blocks to Authenticity… and How to Overcome Them” plus weekly updates, product discounts and much more:

Photo Credit: Nina Matthews Photography

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The One Question You Need to Ask if You’re Struggling with Change

Change. Goals. Shifts. Transformation.

Whatever way you choose to describe it, it’s all pretty much the same deal:

Right now, we’re at point A. Shift happens. We end up at point B.

So far, so good…. except, it rarely happens that way.

What usually happens is we plan all the steps we’ll need to take to get to point B, start out on our epic journey, then run into unseen stumbling blocks, hidden forces of resistance, and waning motivation and enthusiasm.

So we take a step back, survey the landscape, tweak a few things, read a few books, hit up YouTube for some useful advice, then continue our epic journey.

Except, we’re still encountering all this mess we need to deal with. And we feel ill-equipped to do so. We start to feel out of our depth, unsure of our next steps, and wondering if maybe our inner cynic was right and we won’t be able to make this change after all.

Why?

Because we’re not asking the right questions.

You see, when we’re facing changes or goals, we spend 99.99999% of our time focusing on what we need to do to implement that change or reach our goal.

I’ve done this. I’ve seen clients do it. I’ve seen people around me do it, time and time again. And it’s logical: if we want different results, we behave differently.

But it rarely works, because doing is all about our external process. And change goes deeper than that.

If we want lasting change, if we want stretch ourselves and expand our concept of what’s possible, and if we want to live our lives to the fullest, “what do I need to do?” is not the most important question. It’s:

“Who do I need to become?”

What is different about the version of me that does these things, that has met this goal?


What qualities does this version of me have?


How does this version of me spend her time?


What’s important to her?


How does she feel?

If you want change—really want it—those are the questions to start with.

Answer them, and what you need to do to make your change or reach your goal won’t be a decision: it will be the path laid out before you.

The important question isn't "What do I need to do?", it's "Who do I need to become to do it?"

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Who do you need to become to do what you want to do?

Thanks for reading. If you know someone who might be interested in this post, please share it using the buttons below.

Get the free ebook “The 5 Most Common Blocks to Authenticity… and How to Overcome Them” plus weekly updates, product discounts and much more:

The post The One Question You Need to Ask if You’re Struggling with Change appeared first on Becoming Who You Are.

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