Hannah Braime's Blog, page 31

Kind & Creative #5

Reading

When someone has behaved in an eye-rolling or tear-inducing way I say to myself: “You’ve shown me the type of person you are and I will adjust my expectations and behavior accordingly.” — What to Do When People Disappoint You via Sarah Von Bargen from Yes&Yes.

Do you shrink from celebration? Are you diminishing your joy? Rachel MacDonald shares her and her readers’ experiences, plus some great tips on how to turn it all around.

One for my fellow ‘preneurs: Corrina Gordon-Barnes shares her advice on How to Hold Your Business Together When Life Is Falling Apart.

This is both sweet and awesome, and I’m totally trying it out: How a Password Changed My Life.

“Allow yourself to really know that you are able to do you best work when you have space and time to take care of your personal needs.” As someone who constantly struggles to feel like I’m doing “enough” for my business, this article on Morning Rituals for Heart-Centred Entrepreneurs from Mara Glatzel hit the spot.

Watching

What might be different if you stopped apologising for things you didn’t need to apologise for? It’s suuuper cheesy and just a lil’ bit biased (after all, this applies to men too), but this video makes a point.

Do a Good Deed

Amy Clover is raising money for the Strong Inside Out Tour, where she’ll be teaching fitness classes in major cities across the US to raise money for non-profit To Write Love on Her Arms.

For Funsies

A glassblower + creativity = what do bottled up emotions really look like?

This veggie “pasta” is so unbelievably tasty and healthy to boot.

Looking for a good read this weekend? Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie is touching, fascinating, and hard to put down.

Happy weekend!

P.S. In case you missed it: How to Thrive as an Introvert in an Extroverted World

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              Related StoriesDaily Re-energising Rituals for IntrovertsHow to Thrive as an Introvert in an Extroverted WorldKind & Creative #4 

How to Thrive as an Introvert in an Extroverted World

It’s no secret that we live in an extroverted world.

From the way we’re taught in school, to the way we work in offices, right up to our concepts of what is “normal”, our society is biased towards extroverts.

A couple of weeks ago, Ashley Wilhite and I ran a Google Hangout on Air where we shared the five tips for managing introverted energy and sharing your gifts with the world.

During the Hangout, we shared a taster of the kind of things we’re going to be teaching during The Starlight Gathering. This Hangout scratched the surface of a huge topic, and we’re looking forward to diving deeper into this kind of discussion with nine wonderful women this October.

Today is the last day to register for the retreat with earlybird pricing. From tomorrow, the investment will go up $200.

If you identify as an introvert and want to create a roadmap that will allow you to thrive in an extroverted world, click here to find out more and register.

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              Related StoriesDaily Re-energising Rituals for IntrovertsKind & Creative #3 (Introvert Special!)Kind & Creative #4 

Kind & Creative #4

A smorgasbord of links, resources, and tools to boost your self-kindness and creativity.

On the web:

“You say you want X thing. You think about it and talk about it all the time. That’s great; sharing your dreams and your goals, regardless of whether they’re big or small, helps keep you excited and accountable.


But while you’re thinking about it and while you’re talking about it, what are you actually doing about it?” – from The First Step For Anything is This: Show Up

We all have (conscious or unconscious) rules for life, but there’s a time and a place to throw them out of the window.

Feeling like you don’t have time for self-care? This list will help.

A simple reflection and practice to ponder this weekend.

Fabulous artist Diana Willard interviewed me about my journey and advice for creative entrepreneurs. Check it out here.

Do you sometimes fall into a scarcity-based mindset? Get Rich Slowly has a quick-to-read-but-packed-with-useful-suggestions series called Our Brains on Scarcity: The Trap of Not Having Enough and Breaking Out of the Trap.

How to Establish a Creative Practice You’ll Stick to contains useful tips and advice whether you’re an artist, writer, musician, or any other kind of creative.

Watching

The En*theos Academy (otherwise known as “The Netflix for optimal living”) is a treasure trove of wisdom, enlightenment and tools for personal growth. You can check out my class with them on how to practice self-kindness here.

Embrace the Near Win — a TED talk about the difference between mastery and success, and how “almost” pushes us further towards our goal.

Currently Reading

Unfurl by Meghan Genge, a beautiful story of the heroine’s journey.

Can’t get enough of…

I’ve been using Yoga Download for about 18 months and love it. It’s perfect for travelling and offers online yoga classes of varying lengths and styles. Having tried Krav Maga for the first time this week, the Body SOS Maintenance class by Celeste Pereira was exactly what I needed afterwards!

Have a lovely weekend! :)

P.S. I’m co-hosting a Google Hangout next Monday (30th June) at 5pm BST // 12pm EST // 9am PST on how to have fulfilling relationships as an introvert. This is going to be the last in my current series of hangouts on introversion with Ashley Wilhite and it’s going to be a good one! If you or someone you know struggles to balance energy with intimacy, click here to register for the hangout and replay.

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              Related StoriesKind and Creative #1Kind & Creative #3 (Introvert Special!)Daily Re-energising Rituals for Introverts 

Daily Re-energising Rituals for Introverts

Listen to this post here:

Hey friends, want the chance to ask your questions about living as an introvert in an extroverted world? I’m holding a Google Hangout with Ashley Wilhite tomorrow (Tuesday 24th June) at 2pm EST // 11am PST, when we’ll be responding to as many people as possible in a live Q&A. To take part or watch the replay, join us here. 

As introverts living in an extroverted world, balancing our energy levels with the demands of our external environment can be a daily challenge. Over-stimulation, large groups of people, and small talk are draining, but we still have the basic human needs for connection and self-expression.

How can we find a balance and meet these needs in a way that’s aligned with our personalities?

Discovering the sweet spot that allows me to meet these needs without feeling overwhelmed has been one of my biggest challenges as an introvert. I tried squeezing myself into social boxes that didn’t fit, trying to transform myself into someone I wasn’t, and, finally, learned to accept and work with who I am.

Through this process, I’ve found that the key to this balance lies in daily rituals; specific actions we can take at specific times each day to make sure we’re meeting our most basic human needs in a way that energises, rather than drains, us.

Here are five introvert-friendly energising rituals that you can introduce into your daily life:

1. Processing with your journal

Introverts are generally more comfortable expressing themselves through writing than speaking, so journaling is the perfect tool to process the day gone by and set intentions and goals for the future.

Start setting aside 15 minutes each evening to write about any unfinished business from the last 24 hours, plan the day ahead, and set an intention for how you want to feel tomorrow. Taking time to process unfinished business frees up emotional energy, while planning and setting an intention for how you want to feel the next day keeps your actions aligned with the things that are most important to you.

2. Self-connection through movement

As introverts, we can become caught up in our thoughts and feelings. Introducing some movement to our morning or evening helps us reconnect with our physical selves and stay grounded in the present too.

You don’t necessarily need to work up a sweat; movement can be as simple as taking a few minutes to breathe deeply while stretching, or it might look like taking yourself for a (music and cell phone-free) walk. Our bodies are the bridge between our minds and the real world. Making time for physical self-connection not only helps us feel more energetic, but connecting with our physical selves can also help us appear more energetic to those around us.

3. Setting boundaries and carving out alone time

While extroverts get their energy from being around other people, introverts get their energy from spending time alone.

To make sure you’re ready for the day ahead, set aside 10 or 15 minutes each morning to recharge in peace and quiet. If you live with other people, communicate your need for alone time with them and set boundaries around your morning. By giving yourself this time, you’ll be able to start your day feeling grounded, calm and relaxed, rather than feeling drained, frazzled, and stressed.

4. Seeking conscious connection

Connection might seem like an counterintuitive ritual to include in a list for introverts, however it’s key.

We all have a very human need for connection, and we must meet this need in order to thrive.

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I’ve noticed that it’s been easy to slip from “introverted” into “isolated” simply by neglecting to make connection a daily ritual. While alone time might normally help us recharge, I found that, in isolation, my energy levels actually dropped because I wasn’t meeting my fundamental need for connection.

Now, through consciously making time to connect with people on a one-to-one basis each day, I can meet this need in a way that’s aligned with my energy and helps me recharge.

5. Making time to create

A hallmark of introversion is a rich imagination and a vivid internal life. With more going on than meets the eye, we feel most fulfilled when we have an outlet to express our internal ideas, thoughts, and experiences.

Setting aside time for creative pursuits allows us to make sense of and express our internal worlds in a way that energises rather than drains us. Whether your creative pursuit is writing (like the journaling I mentioned above), painting, drawing, cooking, crafting, or something completely different, creativity is a safe mode of self-expression.

Try experimenting with different forms of creativity, and notice how you feel after each; which energise and fulfill you? Which feel like a genuine expression of your authentic self?

Whatever our personality type, we all have gifts, perspectives and skills to share with the world. Finding the daily rituals that work for you will give you a foundation from which you can share your gifts, avoid burnout, and enjoy yourself in the process!

What daily rituals do you use to manage your energy as an introvert? Leave a comment and let me know!

Image: Sonja Langford

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              Related StoriesKind & Creative #3 (Introvert Special!)This Is What Change Looks LikeLevel Up: The Difference Between a Life of Ease and an Easy Life 

Kind & Creative #3 (Introvert Special!)

Listening

Join me and Ashley Wilhite for an introvert-themed Q&A on Tuesday 24th June at 7pm BST // 2pm EST // 11am PST. We’ll be answering your questions about introversion and sharing a few more details about our upcoming retreat, The Starlight Gathering.

Last week, we hosted a fab Google Hangout sharing our top tips on living as an introvert in an extroverted world. You can still catch the replay of this and learn more about the five secrets we’ve used for energy management in our own lives here.

Reading

Do you find it hard to make room for alone time? Here are some helpful responses when you need to kindly but firmly assert your boundaries.

Honouring your need for alone time with others is one thing, but do you honour it yourself? In times of need, Kathryn Hall provides a healthy dose of self-acceptance.

While not all introverts find it hard not to absorb other people’s emotions, a lot of people who identify as a “Highly Sensitive Person”. This article provides some useful practical suggestions for how to identify and avoid emotional vampires and protect your boundaries.

Here’s one for you entrepreneurs and freelancers who tread the thin line between enjoying alone time and feeling lonely: How to Be an Introvert and Work From Home (Without Becoming a Hermit)

As introverts, we have a lot more going on inside than we often let on. This post on reclaiming your inner treasure from your shadow side advocates embracing our introversion and recognising that quiet can be powerful.

 Exploring

Vivienne McMaster is encouraging us to cultivate more self-love through photography with the Summer of “Selfie”-Love, a guided course where you capture the visual story of your life.

Looking forward to…

The Starlight Gathering! I know I’ve already mentioned this once in this round-up but, you guys, it is going to be so awesome! Three days of love, connection, and empowerment for introverted women on a beautiful eco-friendly location just outside of Austin, Texas. Will you be joining us?

Happy weekend!

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              Related StoriesKind and Creative #1How to Be Kind to Yourself When You Don’t Do What You Say You’re Going to DoWill You Be Joining Us for a Life-Changing Retreat This October? 

This Is What Change Looks Like

Today, I want to tell you about a woman I spoke to earlier this year—let’s call her Sally.

Sally got in touch with me because she was struggling. She was unhappy with her eating habits and found herself getting stuck in a cycle of self-criticism. She’d tried and tried to get to the root of what was happening for her, but still found herself in a repeating cycle of over-eating, then feeling guilt and shame around it afterwards.

We connected and spent ~50 minutes talking about this back in February.

A couple of months after we spoke, Sally got in touch with an update about how she was getting on. With her permission, I’m sharing an excerpt from her here:

“I want to thank you because I was desperate to find THE answer to stop this nonsense and I would look back for some moment in my past life, an event, a trauma, a person responsible for the roots of the problem. I thought I should start seeing a psychologist just to help me find the source of the problem so I could solve it and put an end to it.

I believe I was partly looking outside of myself, which did not help, plus I was rejected a part of me, as if it’s a disease. Acceptance is hard because it means admitting that I’m flawed, feeling like I am not good enough, feeling vulnerable, but it’s the only way to reconcile and acknowledge myself as a whole. Then I can start to build on new grounds.

Thank you again, who would’ve thought 45 minutes on Skype would change my perception and turn my life for the better.” 

Wow.

That. Is. Amazing. And I’m so excited for Sally.

We first connected when I ran a week of complimentary coaching for people who were curious about what coaching is and what it can do for them. I offered this week back in Feb because I’ve had life-changing shifts and experiences like Sally’s and I know just how powerful coaching can be.

I also know how challenging it can be to step into that kind of relationship when you don’t really know what you’re getting into, or what’s going to come out of it.

I really want you to have the chance have a life-changing conversation, so I’m offering another batch of complimentary sessions over the next two weeks.

These are no-pressure, no-obligation, and high impact. I don’t do complimentary calls that are glorified sales pitches: my main intention is that you walk away with some new insights and juicy goodness to work with going forward.

You’ll find coaching useful if:

You started out 2014 with some great resolutions but now, half-way through the year, your enthusiasm has waned.
You’re feeling stuck with a particular project, goal, or pattern in your life.
You have big dreams (BIG dreams) but you’re finding it hard to summon the motivation and courage to make them happen.
Your inner critic is all over what you’re doing right now, and it’s getting you down.

During the call, we’ll work on a goal or issue of your choice and you’ll have the opportunity to ask anything you want about the process and how it could help you.

It’s first come first serve, so if you’d like to make the most of this opportunity click here to schedule your session and let’s get chatting!

(Over 18s and 1 session per person please. Thank you for respecting!)

 

Image: Carli Jean Miller

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              Related StoriesThe One Question You Need to Ask if You’re Struggling with ChangeLevel Up: The Difference Between a Life of Ease and an Easy LifeKind and Creative #2 

Level Up: The Difference Between a Life of Ease and an Easy Life

At the root of what many of us are seeking in our lives is a desire for greater ease. Often, however, we confuse the word “ease” with the word “easier”. We think that the more we show up to coaching, the more books we read, the more we journal, and the more we immerse ourselves in personal development, the easier our lives will become.

In doing so, we miss the point.

When I first stared therapy, I thought that by the time I finished, I just wouldn’t have problems anymore. Troubling situations, events, and people would breeze past me and I would weather them all with a smile.

Needless to say, this did not happen. In retrospect, the vision I had for my future self was more akin to being stoned than being authentic.

I’m not the only one to have fallen into this trap; this misperception is one of the most common reasons people stop pursuing self-awareness; because they expect it to make their lives easier and feel bitterly disappointed when that isn’t the case. In the process, they overlook the true benefits of this journey.

What I’ve realised is that self-awareness and self-acceptance introduce more ease into our lives, but they don’t necessarily make our lives easier. “Easier” suggests not having negative, challenging experiences, whereas “ease” is about how we respond to these feelings. We still feel pain, frustration, hurt, anger, and an array of other uncomfortable, distinctly un-easy, feelings, but we stop fighting them and learn to listen to and accept them for what they are.

Yesterday, as I was reading “Stop Being Mean to Yourself” by Melody Beattie (a good read, but more of a travel memoir than a how-to book), I came across the following passage. To me, this sums up the paradox we all face as we grow, and implicitly highlights the difference between developing a greater sense of ease as we move through life and having an easier life:

“Video games, the kind that come with a computer, often have different levels of play: beginner, intermediate, and master. When you move to a new level of play, it doesn’t get easier. It becomes more of a challenge. The playing field is larger. The action is faster and more complicated. In Aikido, or any other martial art, there are many different levels, or dans, of skill. Each time a student moves to the next level, he or she has to pass a test. And when the student reaches that new level, it’s not easier. He or she is required to use all the skills acquired so far, plus learn new ones. The new level is more complicated, more difficult, and more of a challenge. And however accomplished, the place where a martial art student practices is called a dojo. That means place of enlightenment. Some people say our lives are our dojo.”

In life, we level up expecting things to get easier, but that’s not how growth works.

Instead, we will face a new set of challenges, and, with those challenges, a new set of opportunities for a richer, bolder, more authentic life.

Does this resonate? Where are you levelling up at the moment?

Hungry to reach the next level in your personal and professional life? Come and join us at The Starlight Gathering, a three-day retreat offering three days of connection, love, and empowerment for introverted women. Ashley Wilhite and I will be answering your questions about introversion and The Starlight Gathering on Tuesday 24th June at 2pm EST//11am PST in a live Google Hangout. Click here to register and join us!

Image: Lacey Raper

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              Related StoriesKind and Creative #2Episode 58: Life in the Middle Seat with Joshua BaradWhy Resistance Is a Gift 

Kind and Creative #2

Psst… I’m co-hosting a Google Hangout on Tuesday 17th June at 12pm EST! It’s on “Living as an introvert in an extroverted world”. Ashley Wilhite and I will be sharing lessons learned from our own personal experience as introverts, five secrets you can use to manage your energy, and talking more about how you can share your gifts with the world. To join us live or catch the video later, click here.

Reading

“Instead of asking what you should DO to be happy, ask yourself ‘who do I need to be in order to feel happiness /confidence /success?‘” 

Additional Questions to Spark Self-Discovery (no. 7 is my favourite)

Each week, I check in with myself about my Core Desired Feelings a la The Desire Map, but I’m looking forward to adding a few of these questions into my weekly check-in too.

Those “30 things you need to start doing if you want X” posts are usually pretty generic, however this one offers some sage advice.

Need to forgive yourself for something? Here’s the healthy way to do it.

“Every quest is a journey, every journey a story. Every story, in turn, has a moral.” Brainpickings’ summary of Lost Cat is beautiful, cute, and funny.

I’m keeping this bookmarked for next time I walk into a stationery shop: 3 questions to ask yourself before buying anything.

Enjoying

This fact:

This audiobook:

And, if I had an iPhone…

Lucent Meditation App

Happy weekend!

What are you reading/listening to/loving this week?

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              Related StoriesEpisode 58: Life in the Middle Seat with Joshua BaradWhy Resistance Is a GiftKind and Creative #1 

Episode 58: Life in the Middle Seat with Joshua Barad

This episode is a conversation with Joshua Barad from In the Middle Seat. Join us as we talk about:

Some of the biggest blocks to authenticity that can especially affect men, and how to overcome them
The key ingredients you need to shift to living with authenticity
Why it’s important to shift from expectation to appreciation
A valuable exercise you can use to figure out which relationships are truly serving and supporting you
Why Josh advocates being “selfish”

… and much more :)

P.S. At the beginning of the episode, I mention the Google Hangout I’m co-hosting on June 17th on “Living as an introvert in an extroverted world”. You can find out more and sign up here.

Useful links

The In the Middle Seat Experience
Discover Your Values
Tony Robbins
Sensophy

 

Say Hello

Joshua:


Twitter: @JoshuaBarad


Facebook: facebook.com/IntheMiddleSeat


Website: inthemiddleseat.com

Hannah:


Twitter: @becomewhour


Facebook: facebook.com/becomingwhoyouare


Website: becomingwhoyouare.net

Subscribe to the Podcast

 

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              Related StoriesEpisode 57: How to Create Lasting Change with Nicole AntoinetteEpisode 56: Meditation and Self-Care with Peter FernandoEpisode 55: 14 Big Ideas from the Becoming Who You Are Podcast 

Why Resistance Is a Gift

Friends, I’m running a free workshop on 17th June on the topic of “How to Be an Introvert in an Extroverted World”. Fellow coach Ashley Wilhite and I will be sharing actionable ideas and suggestions you can use to create a lifestyle that energises, rather than drains, you. To register, click here.

Listen to this post here:

Like most people, I experience resistance on a daily basis. This could be resistance towards meditating, journaling, exercise, writing, going out for a walk, answering emails, or anything else—if I do it on a semi-regular basis, I have experienced resistance towards doing it at one point or another.

When we experience resistance, really what we’re experiencing is a conflict within our inner dialogue. One part of us thinks we ought to be doing something, and another part of us disagrees. More often than not, this conflict arises from one part of us being focused on long-term vision (usually the part that is telling us to go exercise, etc.) and one part of us being focused on short-term comfort.

Much of what we do in the interests of long-term vision doesn’t necessarily feel that nice, or even comfortable, in the short-term. Exercise is a great example of this; if we do it enough, we can get to the point where we enjoy it in the moment, but if we’re out of practice, there’s an adjustment period we need to go through in the meantime that can feel challenging.

The main thing to remember about resistance is that it’s completely and 100% human. Acclaimed writer Stephen Pressfield wrote a whole book about the daily battle he faces with resistance called The War of Art (which I 100% recommend reading).

The solution to resistance is not to stop feeling resistance, it’s to learn how to listen and respond to it.

Feeling resistance isn't the issue, it's how we respond to the feeling that counts.

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Why Resistance is Actually Helpful

Resistance contains a message. At times, I’ve experienced resistance when I’ve been faced with doing something that doesn’t fit my values or when I’ve had the feeling that something isn’t right for me. At other times, I’ve also experienced resistance when I’m facing something that is a growth opportunity and that would require me to step out of my comfort zone and maybe even shift my self-concept.

In both cases, resistance is an opportunity for greater personal awareness and growth. Too often, we sense resistance coming up and either give into it by default or grit our teeth and push through it, without questioning: why am I feeling this way?

Get to know your resistance: notice what it feels like physically to experience resistance, notice what thoughts go through your head when you experience resistance, and pay attention to the situations you’re in when you notice resistance coming up. Through listening out to our resistance, we can learn to tell the difference between “integrity alert” resistance and “growth opportunity” resistance.

Making friends with your resistance

Here are some questions to ask yourself as you start exploring this. If resistance is something you’ve been grappling with in your own life, I invite you to take the time to sit down and explore these questions through writing.

1. Will this thing that I’m feeling resistance towards bring me closer to, or take me further away from, my values and goals?

2. What influences my resistance? What patterns do I notice around when it comes up? (For example, does it mostly show up when you’re tired, hungry, or stressed?)

3. What are the beliefs behind the resistance? Am I coming from a place of “not enough” or a place of self-care?

4. What will my life be like three months, six months, a year from now if I start doing this thing today? 

5.  What will my future self most thank me for? 

How do you respond to resistance in your life? Leave a comment and share your thoughts!

P.S. How to be kind to yourself when you don’t do what you say you’re going to do & an interview on how to create lasting change.

Image: Ilham Rahmansyah

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              Related StoriesEpisode 57: How to Create Lasting Change with Nicole AntoinetteHow to Overcome Resistance to Journaling: My 2014 Journaling Expo PresentationEpisode 30: 5 Simple Things You Can Do to Lower Your Stress Levels Right Now