Hannah Braime's Blog, page 37
October 28, 2013
How to Know When It’s Time for a Change
I have change on the brain. This month, I’ve been giving Becoming Who You Are a spring clean, updating the site’s appearance and shifting its focus to being about our relationship with ourselves, rather than the broader topic of ‘authentic living’ (what do you think?). This week, I’m returning to Mexico for another six months. Although I can’t wait, there’s a lot going on and I’m looking forward to being settled in the sunshine.
To honour all the changes happening in my life right now (and, it seems, in a lot of other people’s lives too), I’m writing about how to know when it’s time for a change. Sometimes, we need change but we avoid it because it’s scary. Other times, we feel the urge to change but that urge is coming from a place of distraction and acting out, rather than being truly good for us.
Here are a few criteria I’ve found helpful for finding that sweet spot in the middle:
1. You’ve asked the important questions and come out clear
If we dig deep & examine our desire to change, we’re taking control of the change process rather than letting it control us. (Tweet this)
At a minimum, these questions are:
Am I avoiding growth or promoting growth? Really?
Am I distracting myself from something else in my life that’s making me uncomfortable?
How am I going to feel about this decision this time next year? In ten years?
Does this change align with my values and long-term life vision?
2. You’re feeling flat/bored/disinterested
Sometimes, boredom is a manifestation of self-sabotage—which is why it’s important to put on our honesty caps and answer the questions above.
Sometimes, however, boredom is just boredom.
When a situation is no longer serving our needs, supporting our growth, or aligned with where we want our lives to go, that feeling of disinterest or general “meh” could be a sign that it’s time for a change.
3. In your heart of hearts, you know you’d really rather be doing [X]
By ‘heart of hearts’, I mean that deep gut instinct, which tells you everything you need to know about the situation you’re in. Sometimes those messages are challenging to hear so we get used to blocking them out. Even so, they’re still there and the more we practice tuning in, the more we’ll be able to get back in touch with what really gets us out of bed in the morning.
When we feel ourselves drawn to alternative situations, activities, or people, it’s not necessarily those situations, activities, or people that we want. More often, it’s the feelings those situations, activities, or people generate within us. When we recognise that and identify the missing feelings we’re longing for, we have many more options available to help us meet our needs.
4. You’re struggling to define why you’re doing what you’re doing
Start With Why
by Simon Sinek is mainly geared towards entrepreneurs and business owners, however the messages in the book are applicable to our personal lives too. If we don’t have a clear “why” for what we’re doing, then it might be time to reconsider how we’re spending our time.
That doesn’t necessarily mean we have to rush into any changes, it just means we need to think about this question of “Why?”. Once we have an answer, we’re in a position to make a conscious, educated decision about our next move.
5. The main reason you’re still doing what you’re doing is that you’re afraid
With any change, however big or small, comes a level of uncertainty. Some people thrive on uncertainty, some people will do anything to avoid it (yes, hi!).
If you’re afraid of making a change, examine your fears. Even the most ridiculous or mundane-sounding fears carry an undercurrent of truth, which usually involves a disaster scenario where we end up compromising one or more of our core needs or values. As much as we might understand that everything will be fine on an intellectual (left-brain) level, on an emotional (right-brain) level, we might be paralysed with fear.
Does this sound familiar? If so, think about how you’re viewing the situation emotionally:
Are you approaching it from a place of scarcity or a place of abundance?
In other words, are you focusing on what you risk losing at the expense of recognising what you could gain?
Embrace the abundance mindset by thinking about all the ways in which changing your situation could benefit you. This does not mean stamping out your fears—remember that your fears are trying to protect you—instead, it’s about balancing your view so you can make the decision that’s best for you.
6. The main reason you’re still doing what you’re doing is all about other people
This is a blog topic in itself but, for brevity, let’s just say that there are many, many reasons why we might stay in a situation for other people, when we’d be long gone otherwise. We might want to avoid conflict, feel the need to prove ourselves, not want to hurt someone’s feelings, want to fulfil a certain “role” in that situation, and more.
Although we might name other people as the reason we can’t change a situation, in reality it has nothing to do with other people and everything to do with us. When we would ideally like to change a situation, and we hold other people responsible for not making that change, we’re not being fair on ourselves or them.
If you find yourself using other people as the reason why you can’t change something, take a look at the real fear underneath. More often than not, you’ll find it has far less to do with your relationships and far more to do with a belief you hold about yourself.
7. You’ve been waiting for the right time, but when you look back you realise that the parameters for the “right time” keep changing…
I am an expert at the “I’ll start …. when I’ve done/have …” mindset. Sometimes there are valid reasons to wait before making a change. When those valid reasons themselves keep changing, however, that’s a sign that something’s up.
With some changes we’ll know when it’s exactly the right time to make our move. With other changes, there will never be exactly the right time. The longer we keep waiting for it, the longer we keep ourselves stuck.
How do you know when it’s time to make a change? Leave a comment and share your thoughts.
Thanks for reading. If you know someone who might be interested in this post, please share it using the buttons below.
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Related StoriesEpisode 47: How to Pursue Multiple Passions with Emilie Wapnick from Puttylike.com5 Questions to Ask Yourself When You’re Feeling StuckEpisode 46: The Study of Personal Development and Psychology with Steven Handel from TheEmotionMachine.com
October 25, 2013
Episode 47: How to Pursue Multiple Passions with Emilie Wapnick from Puttylike.com
This episode is an interview with Emilie Wapnick from Puttylike.com. Emilie is a self-identified “Multipotentialite” (someone who pursues multiple passions and interests as hobbies or as part of their career) and, with Puttylike and her online community, the Puttytribe, she is spreading the message of multipotentialism far and wide.
We talk about:
What being a multipotentialite is all about, and how it can influence your career choices
Why it’s more important to create a culture that fits in with who you are, rather than the other way around
How having multiple interests enables you to offer more value, whatever you’re doing
How to find time when it doesn’t feel like you have any
Time management, comfort with being a beginner, and other important skills and qualities multipotentialites need to develop
The key to talking about your multiple passions with others
Examples of famous multipotentialites who prove that it’s not that unusual after all…
And much more.
The idea of multipotentialism blew my mind when I first heard about it so I’m happy to be bringing you this episode today. Many thanks to Emilie for sharing her wisdom and insights into how to spend your time doing the things you love.
Useful Links
Join the Puttytribe (affiliate link)
Refuse to Choose
– Barbara Sher
Super Rich: A Guide to Having It All
– Russell Simmons
Do You!: 12 Laws to Access the Power in You to Achieve Happiness and Success
– Russell Simmons
The 4-Hour Work Week: Escape the 9-5, Live Anywhere and Join the New Rich
– Tim Ferriss
The Art of Non Conformity
– Chris Guillebeau
Secrets of a Buccaneer-Scholar: How Self-Education and the Pursuit of Passion can Lead to a Lifetime of Success
– James Bach
Say Hello
Emilie:
@emiliewapnick
Facebook: www.facebook.com/puttylike
www.puttylike.com
Hannah:
@becomewhour
Facebook: www.facebook.com/becomingwhoyouare
www.becomingwhoyouare.net
Subscribe to the Podcast
Intro and outro: Stephanie Murphy
Thanks for reading. If you know someone who might be interested in this post, please share it using the buttons below.
Get the free ebook “The 5 Most Common Blocks to Authenticity… and How to Overcome Them” plus weekly updates, product discounts and much more:
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Related StoriesEpisode 47: How to Pursue Multiple Passions with Emilie Wapnick from Puttylike.comEpisode 46: The Study of Personal Development and Psychology with Steven Handel from TheEmotionMachine.comEpisode 45: Creating Your Own Freedom Experiment with Marthe Hagen
October 22, 2013
5 Questions to Ask Yourself When You’re Feeling Stuck
Don’t know what to do
Don’t know what to say
Don’t know what to choose
Don’t know what I want
Don’t know how to start
Stuck can strike at any time, in any situation. Work, relationships, mission, purpose, core desires—any area of life can fall prey to feelings of stuck. We can experience big stuck, small stuck, and “maybe if I just ignore it, it will go away” stuck.
And being stuck is not the end of the story.
Feeling stuck is part of the human condition but, if we’re not careful, it’s easy to become stuck within our stuckness.
No matter which way we look at it, we can’t seem to find a way out of the stuck. We enter a stuck spiral and tumble down a rabbit hole of progressively bigger and more profound questions. Our unconscious, which has been storing up all the ways in which we feel stuck or unresolved, produces them one after another until ”Should I have a sandwich after work?” becomes “WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?”
Enough: it’s time to end that spiral. Here are five questions that dig deep and get the emotional root of any stuck situation, fast.
1. What is the story I’m telling myself about being stuck?
Stuckness can be a by-product of conflicting beliefs, such as beliefs that we’ve internalised from other people that don’t jibe with our own view of the world.
Maybe, at some point, we internalised the message that making money is bad, but we also recognise that making money is a necessary part of life. Maybe we learned, implicitly or explicitly, to keep our true selves partially hidden through fear of rejection, but we also want to be seen, heard, and accepted as we are.
When we unpack the beliefs that are involved in our stuckness, we can examine them and decide for ourselves whether these beliefs are keeping us small or aiding our growth.
2. What are the benefits to me being stuck?
Although it can be hard to see how at times, we are rational creatures. If we’re feeling stuck, it’s possible that there is a very good reason for us to be stuck. (click to tweet)
Again, this question involves unpacking our beliefs around this particular situation and asking ourselves what benefits we gain from staying stuck (often, we’ll find that the answer to this question takes us straight to number 4).
3. What are the benefits to me being unstuck?
What are the benefits associated with becoming unstuck?
Pay close attention to your answer: if your motivation for becoming unstuck is external (for example, pleasing someone else, avoiding someone else’s wrath, or living up to someone else’s expectations), that prooobably has something to do with why you’re feeling stuck in the first place.
Listen to what you want. The right people will honour that.
4. What do I fear when I think about becoming unstuck?
Feeling stuck isn’t a pleasant experience, but it can feel a whole lot more comfortable than facing what might lie on the other side of that stuckness.
If we commit to a decision, if we identify what we want, and if we take action based on that, we enter a realm of vulnerability and risk. We risk displeasing others, we risk showing more of ourselves, we risk periods of uncertainty, we risk seeing how small we’ve kept ourselves until now, we risk greatness, we risk grieving, and we risk discomfort.
If we can identify our fears around becoming unstuck, we can move forward in a way that acknowledges and respects those fears.
5. What one small step can I take towards becoming unstuck in the next 30 minutes?
Sometimes, the perceived magnitude of the task before us alone is enough to keep us right where we are. We stay in our stuckness to avoid the challenge, or we enter “analysis paralysis”, where we spend a lot of time going back and forth over the best way to move forward but never actually take that step.
Identifying just one action we can take, right here right now, towards becoming unstuck enables us to take that all-important first step without getting paralysed by overwhelm.
Cheeky bonus question: What will my unstuck life look like one year from today?
This question is for bigger situations of stuckness. It’s a chance to go wild and think about all the good ways in which becoming unstuck will impact your life. Think about how you’ll feel, what will be different, what will be the same, what you’ll be doing, who’ll you’ll be surrounded by, what you’ll have gained, what you’ll have lost, and what you’ll have learned.
As you muse on your vision, take time to notice the underlying information and messages; often, the answers or decisions we’re looking for exist in our ideal future, hiding in plain sight.
If you’re feeling stuck in a certain area of your life and would like a supportive and compassionate companion on your journey to clarity, let’s chat. I offer coaching via Skype and email and you can find details about my packages and rates here.
Thanks for reading. If you know someone who might be interested in this post, please share it using the buttons below.
Get the free ebook “The 5 Most Common Blocks to Authenticity… and How to Overcome Them” plus weekly updates, product discounts and much more:
Photo Credit: Neal.
The post 5 Questions to Ask Yourself When You’re Feeling Stuck appeared first on Becoming Who You Are.

Related StoriesEpisode 46: The Study of Personal Development and Psychology with Steven Handel from TheEmotionMachine.comWhy the World Needs You to Start Taking Yourself SeriouslyEpisode 45: Creating Your Own Freedom Experiment with Marthe Hagen
October 18, 2013
Episode 46: The Study of Personal Development and Psychology with Steven Handel from TheEmotionMachine.com
Today’s episode a conversation with Steven Handel, who founded the popular psychology blog The Emotion Machine in 2009. Today, The Emotion Machine contains over 400 articles on many different topics on how your mind works and how you can improve it, including positive psychology, meditation, cognitive-behavioral therapy, emotional intelligence, and social psychology.
Listen to find out more about:
Why reading about personal development won’t help you (and what will)
What we can learn from the latest developments in neuroscience and psychology
Embodied cognition: what it is and how it influences the way we feel
How our environment and even our name can affect the way we behave
A treasure trove of online links related to psychology and personal development (see list below)
Useful Links
Psychology Feed:
PsyBlog: http://www.spring.org.uk/
BPS Research Digest: http://bps-research-digest.blogspot.com/
Mind Hacks: http://mindhacks.com/
Brain Blogger: http://brainblogger.com/
Discover: http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/ (Mind + Brain section)
Atlantic – Health: http://www.theatlantic.com/health/
New Scientist – Health: http://www.newscientist.com/section/health
Wired – Science: http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/
NeuroHacks: http://www.bbc.com/future/columns/neurohacks
Journal E-mail Alerts:
Sage - http://www.sagepub.com/home.nav (Click “Email Alerts” on right sidebar, then select “Journal Alerts”)
Springer - http://www.springer.com (Create a profile, then select “Manage Alerts”)
Personal development sites:
99U - http://99u.com/
Tiny Buddha - tinybuddha.com/
Marc and Angel - http://www.marcandangel.com/
Metal Motivation: https://www.facebook.com/metalmotivation
The Emotion Machine free guides and newsletter: http://www.theemotionmachine.com/freeguide
Say Hello
Steven:
@StevenHandel
Facebook: www.facebook.com/TheEmotionMachine
www.theemotionmachine.com
Hannah:
@becomewhour
Facebook: www.facebook.com/becomingwhoyouare
www.becomingwhoyouare.net
Subscribe to the Podcast
Intro and outro: Stephanie Murphy
Thanks for reading. If you know someone who might be interested in this post, please share it using the buttons below.
Get the free ebook “The 5 Most Common Blocks to Authenticity… and How to Overcome Them” plus weekly updates, product discounts and much more:
The post Episode 46: The Study of Personal Development and Psychology with Steven Handel from TheEmotionMachine.com appeared first on Becoming Who You Are.

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October 14, 2013
Why the World Needs You to Start Taking Yourself Seriously
Do you take yourself seriously?
Really take yourself seriously?
I’ve been asking myself this question ever since I had an eye-opening conversation with a friend earlier in the summer, and I’ve been quite surprised to realise how much I actually don’t take myself seriously at times.
The conversation happened in August, when my friend asked me how I was going to celebrate the upcoming released of From Coping to Thriving. I replied that I wasn’t really planning anything, I had a lot to do, etc. etc.
She replied that it was worth celebrating and that I should take myself seriously.
Touché…
She saw the part of me that was saying “Well, it’s not really a proper book launch, I mean, it’s self-published so it’s not really that big a deal…” when I was doing my best to ignore this part because it provoked a lot of self-doubt. In her very gentle-but-honest way, she told me to stop dragging myself down and to do something to celebrate.
I’ve remembered this conversation many times over the past few weeks because it applies to so many different situations.
Whenever we don’t make time to celebrate our achievements and honour what is meaningful to us, we’re not taking ourselves seriously
Whenever we shoo away positive feedback, mentally or literally, we’re not taking ourselves seriously.
Whenever we tell ourselves that our dreams are nice and all, but they’re unrealistic, we’re not taking ourselves seriously.
Whenever we don’t make time for self-care, we’re not taking ourselves seriously.
Whenever we talk ourselves out of a great opportunity, we’re not taking ourselves seriously.
Whenever we fail to share all the amazing things we’re doing and creating in our lives, we’re not taking ourselves seriously.
Whenever we talk ourselves down, we’re not taking ourselves seriously
Whenever we say that “It’s not a big deal” when it is, “I’m not too bothered” when we are, or “I don’t mind” when we do, we’re not taking ourselves seriously.
And when we don’t take ourselves seriously? We miss out. Other people miss out.
You’re reading this now because I took this idea seriously. Here’s why the world needs you to start taking yourself seriously:
Every website you visit, every piece of music you hear, every movie you see, every book you read, every gadget you use, every building you visit, everything man-made that you experience—it all exists because at some point at least one person took themselves seriously (even when other people around them didn’t).
When we take ourselves seriously, we have so much more to offer the world than when we don’t. (click to tweet)
Is this resonating? Here are three things I’ve found helpful for taking myself seriously over the past few months:
1. Start asking “Why not”?
One of the most common ways I don’t take myself seriously is that I sometimes believe the voice inside me that says “You can’t do that,” “You don’t deserve that,” or “You’ll never be able to get that idea off the ground.”
Just questioning this voice is perspective-shifting.
2. Be impeccable with your word
Overall, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz is a little woo for me, but one of the four agreements he talks about in the book definitely applies to this situation: be impeccable with your word.
In this context, this means if you tell yourself or other people that you’re going to do something, do it. The more you are impeccable with your word, the more you will take yourself seriously.
3. Remember that how seriously other people take you depends on how seriously you take yourself
If we gauge how seriously to take ourselves by how seriously other people take us, it’s not going to happen. It’s not other people’s job to take us seriously and remind us of this all the time, it’s our job to remind them.
What can you do to start taking yourself more seriously this week?
Thanks for reading. If you know someone who might be interested in this post, please share it using the buttons below. Cheers!
Get the free ebook “The 5 Most Common Blocks to Authenticity… and How to Overcome Them” plus weekly updates, product discounts and much more:
Photo Credit: Alyssa L. Miller via Compfight cc
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Related StoriesEpisode 45: Creating Your Own Freedom Experiment with Marthe Hagen5 Alternatives to Gossip26 Messages For My 6-Year-Old Self
October 10, 2013
Episode 45: Creating Your Own Freedom Experiment with Marthe Hagen
This episode is an interview with Marthe Hagen, a life coach, writer, and creator of The Freedom Experiment. Marthe is a healing freedom coach for sensitive women who want to feel amazingly alive and who believe that everything is possible with the right support, dream, and strategy.
During the podcast, we cover a number of topics related to personal development and freedom, including:
The different ways freedom can show up in our lives and why it’s a journey, not a process
How running your own freedom experiment can help you explore your dreams without sacrificing your security
Marthe’s top suggestions for feeling good when life is challenging
How acceptance is the key to freedom, and how you can accept something without necessarily liking it
The three different types of self-care
Marthe’s favourite personal development resources
Useful Links
Finding Your Own North Star: How to claim the life you were meant to live
– Martha Beck
Say Hello
Marthe
Twitter: @Marthehhagen
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thefreedomexperiment
Website: www.thefreedomexperiment.com
Hannah:
Twitter @becomewhour
Facebook: www.facebook.com/becomingwhoyouare
Website: www.becomingwhoyouare.net
Email: hannah@becomingwhoyouare.net
Subscribe to the podcast
Thanks for reading. If you know someone who might be interested in this post, please share it using the buttons below. Cheers!
Get the free ebook “The 5 Most Common Blocks to Authenticity… and How to Overcome Them” plus weekly updates, product discounts and much more:
The post Episode 45: Creating Your Own Freedom Experiment with Marthe Hagen appeared first on Becoming Who You Are.

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October 7, 2013
5 Alternatives to Gossip
Gossip (n.): Casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true.
I would add a few extra elements to this definition:
It usually involves a violation of someone else’s boundaries: information told in confidence, information shared against someone else’s wishes, etc.
It’s rarely positive
It usually affords a sense of moral superiority at another person’s expense.
I don’t like gossip. I want to be a good person (i.e. live with integrity) and, while I can’t control whether people gossip about me, I can control whether I gossip about other people; others gossiping about me doesn’t feel nice but knowing that I’ve gossiped about other people makes me feel much worse.
I used to gossip. A lot. I was insecure and talking down other people helped me feel like I had more comparative value. But after learning more about shame and vulnerability, mainly through the work of Brené Brown, I’ve become a lot more conscious of how damaging it is, not only to other people but to ourselves.
Gossip is the antithesis of empathy and compassion, and it’s a very small step from gossip to shaming.
Despite knowing this, gossip is something I’ve found hard to tame in my own life. Even when I’m super conscious of not wanting to gossip, I have still found myself getting involved in gossipy conversations and wanting to indulge. Avoiding it is challenging but the more I practice finding another outlet for the gossip urge, the better I feel about how I show up in the world.
Here are five practices that I’ve found helpful on my journey towards a gossip-free zone:
1. Journaling
Journaling is a great way of expressing our frustration or judgements about someone or something without doing any damage. We get the satisfaction of expression and emotional release, without having to deal with the consequences of having shared inappropriate information with others. Writing down our thoughts and feelings also gives us a valuable record that we can revisit and learn from later.
2. Meditation
I have a pretty rocky relationship with meditation. I know it’s good for me but sometimes it is sooo darn uncomfortable. I’ve found that putting bum to cushion and just doing it is most challenging, but definitely most helpful, when my monkey mind is going nuts. If I can resist the urge to gossip as an outlet for my feelings and practice sitting with them instead, I inevitably come out the other end in a much better place.
3. Honesty
If you have an issue with someone, be honest about it with them. If we’re not honest with people about our feelings and then we trash-talk them behind their backs, how can those people trust us afterwards? Having the vulnerability and the courage to be honest with people when we’re feeling hurt, annoyed, rejected, or any other uncomfortable emotions is hard… but then so is not having any friends.
4. Perspective
There’s a fine line between gossiping about a situation and processing a situation. The key differences are the focus and intention of the conversation. We all find ourselves in situations that we need to talk through with others so we can process our feelings and figure out the best way forward. I stop those conversations shifting into gossip by focusing on being authentic and exploring how I feel, rather than judging or claiming moral one-upmanship over someone else.
5. Vulnerability
Gossip is a barrier to intimacy. (click to tweet)
When I stopped focusing on other people’s vulnerabilities and started focusing on my own, I (somewhat counter-intuitively) began to feel more secure in myself, and I found that my relationships with other people deepened. Instead of spending my time with others talking about absent third parties, I shared more about myself. As a result, I felt far more visible and accepted for who I was.
What alternatives to gossip do you suggest? Leave a comment and let me know.
Thanks for reading. If you know someone who might be interested in this post, please share it using the buttons below. Cheers!
Get the free ebook “The 5 Most Common Blocks to Authenticity… and How to Overcome Them” plus weekly updates, product discounts and much more:
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October 4, 2013
26 Messages For My 6-Year-Old Self
My birthday and the New Year are two of the most reflective times of year for me. As I had the former this week, I’ve been thinking a lot about where I am in my life, where I want to be, and how far I’ve come.
Out of that came a list of messages I would love to go back and tell myself 20 years ago. Would I have fully understood these, or even been open to them, when I was six? Maybe, maybe not.
The main purpose of this kind of journaling exercise is that it’s an effective way of empathising and feeling compassion for our past selves, as well as reminding our present selves of the most important things we’ve learned about ourselves and the world around us so far.
1. It’s OK if people don’t like me (and I’m still OK if people don’t like me).
2. Just because someone tells me I’m wrong doesn’t mean they’re right (although sometimes they will be—working this out takes a bit of practice).
3. I will screw up. Screwing up is not the point, it’s what I do afterwards and take from the experience that carries weight.
4. If I do things that don’t align with the person I want to be, I won’t feel good about myself—even if no-one else knows about it.
5. If I do things that align with the person I want to be, I will feel good about myself—even if no-one else knows about it.
6. Every feeling passes, even when it feels like it won’t. Enjoy the good times and learn from the bad.
7. Very few things come naturally. Resilience, social skills, asking for help, vulnerability—all these things take practice. Eventually the euphoria associated with completing the challenging action will outweigh the terror that comes beforehand.
8. Being consistent and living with a set of principles makes life a lot easier.
9. Say no when I want to say no.
10. Say yes when I want to say yes.
11. If I need time to think about it, it’s better to say that rather than grasping for a yes or no to avoid the discomfort of uncertainty.
12. There is no “should” when it comes to how I feel.
13. Other people will always have advice about how I should or shouldn’t live my life. At the end of the day, I’m the one that is responsible for (and has to live with) the consequences of that advice, so take it with care.
14. It pays to be gracious (see no. 5).
15. I feel better when I focus on what I’m for, rather than on what I’m against.
16. Don’t spend time shaming people—either support, or just disengage. Shaming is toxic (see no. 4).
17. Experiences are worth more than things.
18. Self-awareness is a constant and life-long process.
19. Self-care isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity.
20. It’s not in my best interests to automatically avoid doing something that provokes discomfort: usually, that’s where the magic happens.
21. The “shoulds” in my head aren’t always right. Most of the time, I feel happier when I focus on what I want.
22. Forgiveness is something that’s earned, not owed.
23. Instead of focusing on what other people are thinking about me, I feel much happier and more secure when I pay attention to what I’m thinking about myself
24. Self-compassion trumps self-esteem. Here’s why.
25. How other people feel, act, and treat me is not my responsibility, it’s theirs. The only responsibility I have is to myself.
26. Life is much more fulfilling without a TV.
What would you tell your child self? Leave a comment and share your thoughts.
Thanks for reading. If you know someone who might be interested in this post, please share it using the buttons below. Cheers!
Get the free ebook “The 5 Most Common Blocks to Authenticity… and How to Overcome Them” plus weekly updates, product discounts and much more:
Photo Credit: Pink Sherbet Photography via Compfight cc
The post 26 Messages For My 6-Year-Old Self appeared first on Becoming Who You Are.

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September 26, 2013
Episode 44: Restorative Journaling with Esmé Weijun Wang
I had a lot of fun talking to Esmé for this episode. A writer and mental health advocate from San Francisco, Esmé is devoted to sharing her brain ailments with folks who know and understand, as well as the ones who don’t, and are better because they do. She is the creator of esmewang.com, where she blogs about mental health, journaling, and radical sincerity.
Topics we cover in this podcast include:
Restorative journaling: what it is, who it’s for, and the benefits it brings
Useful restorative journaling practices
The power of language in our journaling practices
Emotions and social conditioning
Esmé’s upcoming restorative journaling course
… and much, much more!
Useful Links
The Rawness of Remembering: Restorative Journaling Through Difficult Times – Esmé’s upcoming journaling course
This is Water & Infinite Jest
– David Foster Wallace
The Waste Land and Other Poems
- T.S. Eliot (in the podcast I said that Eliot wrote a manual for the poem, I was actually referring to the publisher’s annotations)
Say Hello
Esmé:
Twitter: @esmewang
Facebook: www.facebook.com/esmeweijunwang
Website: www.esmewang.com
Hannah:
Twitter @becomewhour
Facebook: www.facebook.com/becomingwhoyouare
Website: www.becomingwhoyouare.net
Email: hannah@becomingwhoyouare.net
Subscribe to the podcast
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Get the free ebook “The 5 Most Common Blocks to Authenticity… and How to Overcome Them” plus weekly updates, product discounts and much more:
The post Episode 44: Restorative Journaling with Esmé Weijun Wang appeared first on Becoming Who You Are.

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September 20, 2013
Epsiode 43: Work Ethic Roundtable
This episode is a follow-up conversation from last week’s roundtable about self-improvement. Jake, Stephanie, and I had a great chat about work ethic at the Libertopia Festival in San Diego.
We cover a variety of topics, including:
The difference between productivity and busywork
The issues with the “paid-by-the-hour” mindset
Escapism through work
…and more.
Say Hello
Jake:
Twitter: @thevoluntary
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thevoluntarylife
Website: www.thevoluntarylife.com
Email: jake@thevoluntarylife.com
Stephanie:
Twitter: @porctherapy
Facebook: www.facebook.com/pages/Porc-Therapy/183493021795
Website: www.porctherapy.com
Email: questions@porctherapy.com
Hannah:
Twitter @becomewhour
Facebook: www.facebook.com/becomingwhoyouare
Website: www.becomingwhoyouare.net
Email: hannah@becomingwhoyouare.net
Thanks for reading. If you know someone who might be interested in this post, please share it using the buttons below. Cheers!
Get the free ebook “The 5 Most Common Blocks to Authenticity… and How to Overcome Them” plus weekly updates, product discounts and much more:
The post Epsiode 43: Work Ethic Roundtable appeared first on Becoming Who You Are.

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