Mark Sheldon's Blog: Mark Sheldon's Dossier of Flayed Cliches, page 23

All Greek to Me

A friend in college once told me that our chemistry homework was all Greek to him. Confused, I double-checked my textbook, then checked his textbook, and both were all in English.  Figuring he must have mis-spoken, I hired a Greek translator to translate our textbook into Greek for my friend.  Naturally, I sent him the bill.  For some reason he got mad at me.  Some people just don't know how to say "Thank you."

All Bark and No Bite

Someone once told me that I was all bark and no bite, so I really don't understand why she got so upset when I bit her.  Some people just can't handle being proven wrong.

An Ax To Grind

Someone once told me he thought I had an ax to grind.  I told him I didn't own an ax, but if I ever found myself in possession of one that needed to be ground, he would be the first person I came to.  He looked at me suspiciously, and stomped away moodily.  After that reaction, I changed my mind about taking him up on his offer of ax grinding services.  Some people just aren't very good at marketing and customer service.

Drop of a Hat

Someone once told me that he would be willing to do me a favor at the drop of a hat.  Seeing as I needed my car washed, I took his hat off (since I wasn't wearing one at the time and he didn't specify whose hat needed to be dropped) and threw it on the ground.  For extra measure, I started stomping on it and jumping on it as well.  He didn't wash my car.  Some people just aren't good on their word.

Bite the Dust

A friend in grade school once told me that his hamster was about to bite the dust.  "Well," I said to him, "that explains why he's looking so sickly.  Stop feeding him dirt, dumb-dumb."

Albatross around your neck

Somebody once told me that he had an albatross around his neck.  I was appalled.  "Albatrosses are an endangered species, not a fashion statement, you bastard!" I yelled at him, and then promptly reported him to the authorities.  Some people just have no sense of decency.

A Little Catch Up

I've been posting these "flayed cliches" on Facebook for a few weeks now, and they were becoming popular enough that I decided it was time I start putting them into a blog where they would be preserved and more easy to follow.  This first post is a collection of the posts I have already created on Facebook.  Enjoy!!!


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August 18, 2010: A neighbor once told me that I needed to stop beating around the bush, so I really...