Susan Mary Malone's Blog: Happiness is a Story, page 14

100 Habits for Happiness that will make Life better

                  10 Habits for Finding Joy in Life

Surround yourself with joyful people. Entrepreneur Jim Rohn famously said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
Always have a Labrador puppy. Okay, easier for me as a breeder!  But in lieu of that, hug your dog and get the oxytocin rush.
Cultivate an attitude of gratitude.  You cannot live in gratitude and fear (in all of its nefarious forms) at the same time.
Do something you love every day.
Find whatever spiritual walk works for you, and practice that daily.  Whether it’s the structure of church or the peace found in nature, honor that walk.
Do a random act of kindness.  Studies published in The Journal of Happiness, Nature Neuroscience, and The Journal of Social Psychology found that kindness can lead to greater happiness and health.  Good deeds practiced for as little as a week make people feel good, cultivating new connections in the part of the brain associated with happiness and well-being.  The helper’s high! 
Be kind to yourself.  Whatever that action means to you.  Forgive yourself.  Honor yourself.  Remember that you truly are a child of the universe, and have a right to be here.
Have a dream, and write it down.  On the scientific front, a study in the Journal of Health Psychology found that writing about life goals can help decrease rumination and psychological stress.  But we already knew this   Nothing inspires the creative muses like having a dream, a big goal, to aspire to.  It doesn’t matter what that is, just pursue your heart’s desire.
Love what you do.  So often the immediate response is: But I have a job I hate!  Even if you do, pursue one task each day, no matter how small, that relates to that dream of yours.  As the poet Rumi said, “Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.”
Love your family and friends.  Yep, there’re always those family folks who persist in being thorns, but the roses exist too.  Find them.

 

               10 habits for Finding Inner Strength

Especially in times of trials and tribulations, when you think you aren’t up to the task:

Remember when you did it before. You’ve succeeded in the past, no?  Everyone has.  Recall that time and know that you can do whatever.
Identify your signature strengths.  Are you filled with gratitude?  Do you act kindly?  Are you a natural leader?  The work of Martin Seligman, M.D., found that those most content, and most successful, focused on these strengths rather than weaknesses, building upon the former.  You can take the test at The Positive Psychology Center


Find your spiritual core.  What resonates with you?  Not the religion of your family while growing up (unless that does), but what do you believe?   Draw upon it.
Take care of your physical self.  Nothing brings on depression as quickly as being sleep deprived.  And for many folks, eating too many simple carbs.  The point being, that old saying: “If you have your health, you have everything,” may not feel true, but the converse sure is.
Make plans that you can keep.  This doesn’t have to be big running-a-marathon plan (unless you already run 5Ks, etc.).  Doesn’t matter how big or small. The point is to make a plan and keep it—even if it’s eating an apple a day.
Be open to the best happening.  So often, we focus so much on the negative, on what we need to change, that when something wonderful happens, we miss it.  Stay open to something fabulous happening.  That will bolster your faith, which fosters strength.
Forgive yourself.  We all make mistakes.  Yes, learn from them, then let them go and focus forward.  As Will Rogers said, “Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.”
Stay in the present.  Much easier said than done!  But fear is always about a future event—which 9 times out of 10 won’t materialize.  If money is an issue, ask: Do I have all that I need right now, this second?  Unless you’re literally hungry, odds are you do. For most of us, we’re okay, right now.

Because what if they’re all really right? What if life truly isn’t about the happy ending, but about the story?

Do one thing that makes you uncomfortable, such as expressing yourself in public if you’re not prone to doing so.  Yep, you may shake when doing so, but the simple act will breed confidence and strength.
Cultivate peace.  Meditate.  Relax. The deep relaxation that comes with meditation helps shut down the release of stress chemicals, which cause fear.  And just a moment’s peace can help you see things—including yourself—in a much different and stronger light.

 

                 10 Habits for Developing Confidence

Are you trained?  The fastest way to destroy confidence is to stand before the task at hand and realize you aren’t prepared.  And one of the best ways to build confidence is to know that you are.  As Sun Tzu said in The Art of War, “Do not initially engage a competitor unless you are prepared.”
Take action.  With any goal you set, whether you believe you can get there or not, break it down into action steps. And then take one.  Even if you stumble, the act of acting will bolster confidence, and you can see what you need to master next.
Keep it simple.  Don’t over think and you will perform on a much higher level.  The thinking mind—the one that regurgitates those 60,000 thoughts a day—gets in the way of performance. If you’re trained, clear your mind and focus on the task at hand.  Have a simple routine.  Piece out exactly what you need to learn, and stick to a simple plan of action.
Stay in the Now.  It’s the only time there is, and where your confidence builds. Staying in the now hones your focus, which causes you to perform better, which strengthens your confidence.   As sports psychiatrist Michael Lardon, M.D. says, “The only shot in life is the next shot.”
Manage your mind.  It’s not that fearful thoughts won’t arise—they will.  The goal is to not give them purchase in your mind.  Let them go, and then refocus on the positive.  Having a mantra is key here.  Find yours, and repeat it often.
Learn to think positive.  We know this works.  Study after study has shown how positive thinking leads to more confidence and success.  Affirmations, visualizations, etc., provides positive mental food that fuels your mind just as nutritious foods do your body. As Helen Keller said, “Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement.  Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.” 
Surround yourself with people who appreciate your strengths.  By having people around you who find the positive and strengths in you, even on your darkest days–when you don’t believe a positive word about yourself that you say–you can believe them.
 Say no.  Just say no.  With no explanation, no apology.  This one took me forever to learn, but it’s extremely empowering.  Just say no.
Make a decision. When confidence is wobbling, we stand at the corner of To Do or Not To Do, paralyzed with indecision.  Choose.  Go one way or another.  Just make the decision and act.  It’s amazing how this one bolsters confidence.

10.  Fake it till you make it.  Because you know what? This actually works.  In 2009, Stephanie L. Stolz of Missouri Western University discovered that before shooting baskets, the control group that was told they were better than they were, shot better.  Persist in this and confidence comes by the boatload.

                     10 Habits for Being a Better Friend

1.  Friendship isn’t something you do now and then. As with any important relationship, friendship requires regular time.  Whether it’s a phone call or lunch date or a note via whatever means, being a good friend means you’re around.

2.   This calls for some effort.  Our lives are hectic.  Often we have too much to do.  But taking the time to contact your friend is worth it, no?

3.   Listening.  So often what’s really going on with someone lies just under the surface.  And if we don’t stop and listen, we can miss the whole shebang.  Listening is active—that old, “This is what I heard you say” for clarity.

  Sitting in the crisis.  Sometimes there are no words.  And often the hardest thing is to just be with someone undergoing pain or trauma or heartache.  You don’t have to have that right thing to say.  Just be there.
  Fill the cup. Just as with any relationship, what you put into a friendship is what you get out.  Filling the friendship cup with time, effort, laughter, is what you reap from it as well.
  Have her back.  We know a lot of folks who know a lot of folks, no?  Often, we know them all as well.  And not everybody gets along all the time.  When two others are having a dispute, have your friend’s back.  This can be as simple as saying, “I don’t think she meant it that way” to a perceived slight.
  Have Empathy.  Rather than judging, try and understand what your friend is truly going through.  Put yourself in her shoes.  So often, we want mercy for ourselves, judgment for everyone else.  But feeling what your friend is feeling, understanding, brings mercy to you both.
  Be open. This often brings feelings of vulnerability, but being who you are, warts and all, will bring you closer.  Besides, do you want a friend who believes you’re someone you aren’t?
  Let go of expectations.  If you’re wanting someone to do for you what you yourself don’t do, you’re setting yourself up for hurt feelings.  Instead, take responsibility for you, and release him from his chains.  Let him be who he is as well.
  Pick up as if you saw her yesterday. Even if a lot of time has passed.  It’s easy to feel guilty when you haven’t been in contact, but odds are, she’s as busy as you are!  So call her up and talk about what you always do.

As the poet Khalil Gibran said, “Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity.”

                       10 Habits for Better Health

 

1.   Move your body. We were never meant to be sedentary, and it doesn’t matter if all you can do is walk to the mailbox.  Move it!

2.   Eat more cleanly. This of course is all the rage these days but it’s always been true.  The closer that what you consume has actually been in dirt, the healthier you’ll be.  Especially if that was organic dirt to begin with.

3.   Meditate. Even if for ten minutes a day.  Still your mind.  Let it be silent.  This lowers blood pressure, heightens creativity, and does more good things than we have time for in this list!

4.   Sleep. The body heals while you’re sleeping.

   Have rich and meaningful friendships. We all need to feel as though we belong, we have a tribe.  And the silver lining is these are people of your choosing!
   Repair hurt relationships with family, especially parents. So many people limp through life, carrying old family baggage.  And this doesn’t even have to be reparations with them, but rather a healing of the hurts within you that originated there.  Therapy is a wonderful tool!
   Laugh. It really is the best medicine, no matter what you may be going through.
   Read. Study.  Keep learning.  We know this keeps the brain healthy as we age.
   Volunteer. Study after study has shown the benefits of the “helper’s high.”  What a great way to maintain health!
  Do what you love. As Albert  Schweitzer said, “ Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful. ”        

                           10 Habits for Better Eating

1.   Eat low on the food chain. You’ve heard it all your life, but that doesn’t negate its importance!  More veggies and fruit.  To get the recommended 9 servings of this group every day, ya gotta keep eating them.

2.   Grow your own garden. I know, not always in the schedule!  I so miss mine.  But nothing is healthier than picking ripe, organic produce and eating it immediately.  Plus, the taste will wow you.  And ruin you for what you buy in the store . . .

3.  If that’s not possible at this point, befriend a local farmer. Or, have a friend who grows an organic garden.  I’m so blessed to have one!  Pam and Bob Bishop keep me covered up with all the summer bounty, and now the greens are starting to come off and . . .

4.  Unless you’re a teetotaler, pair your supper with a nice glass of wine. Wine has digestive enzymes that help your food to process nicely, and your body to uptake the nutrients therein.

  Eat mindfully. So often we mindlessly eat.  In front of the TV, focused on our smart devices, etc.  A whole meal can be consumed and we forget what we just ate.
   Savor the Flavor. Did you know the first bite of anything is the most flavorful? And the second bite, still great.  The third shows those flavors waning.  And after that, while asparagus and candy don’t taste the same, the impact—the payoff you get—diminishes significantly.
  Don’t deprive yourself. Even the “worst” of foods can be healthily consumed—in moderation.  Utilize the three-bite rule above.  You can have any blessed thing you want, every day, if you have only 3 bites of it.
  Calories don’t count on Sunday. Or whatever day you pick.  You get one day a week where all bets are off, no rules apply, and you can just eat whatever you want.

Now of course, if “whatever you want” is the entire chocolate cake, we have a different issue to address!

   Don’t eat while angry. Or with any negative emotions raging.  According to Kathy Gruver, PhD, author of Conquer Your Stress With Mind/Body Techniques, a heightened state of emotion sparks that old fight-or-flight response, and digestion takes second fiddle to the emergency at hand.  Which may result in diarrhea or constipation.  Manage the emotion first, then eat.
  Chocolate. All nutrition plans should include chocolate.  Unless, horrors!, you’re allergic to it or some unnatural phenomenon.  But we know about the health benefits of the antioxidant flavonoids, and the mood boosters involved, so not eating this food of the gods surely must be a sin?

10 Habits for Better Sleep

1.   Turn off the lights, the party’s over. And the TV.  And the smart devices.  And . . . well, anything that keeps you awake!  We know that too much light before bedtime may prevent you from getting a good night’s sleep. A recent study found that exposure to unnatural light cycles may have real consequences for our health including increased risk for depression. Regulating exposure to light is an effective way to keep circadian rhythms in check.

2.  Don’t eat or drink alcohol 3 hours before bedtime. Digestion and sleep are not terribly conducive, and alcohol, while it may help put you to sleep, screws up your circadian rhythms so that you’re more likely to awaken at 3 AM or some other ungodly hour.

3.   Keep the same sleeping hours. Go to bed at the same time, get up at the same time.

4.    Don’t go to bed mad. One study showed that if you stay awake after a traumatic event, the response is reduced.  The opposite happens if you go right to bed—the response is “protected,” so that when you’re exposed to it again, your negative reaction will be just as negative as it was before.

5.    Don’t expose your mind to thought-provoking material before sleep. Even though reading before bedtime is such a joy, be careful of giving your mind enough to play with that it doesn’t want to turn off! Do I ever know this one . . .

6.    Always sleep with a Labrador. Okay, this is specific to me! But sleeping with a pet is comforting, and causes oxytocin, the feel-good bonding hormone, to course through your body and lull you to la la land.  Besides, such warmth they bring on those 3-dog nights!

  Set out the intention to remember your dreams.  We all have 5-6 a night, but so often can’t recall them.  But our dreams are such a fertile soup of what’s really going on within us, that remembering them provides crucial keys to our psyches.  Well worth the effort!  Here’s a great guideline.
  Take a warm bath. Not hot, but warm.  It’ll relax you down to your toes.
  Drink a glass of milk before bed. It’s not just an old wives’ tale. Dairy products are rich in the amino acid tryptophan, which helps in the production of the sleep-inducing brain chemicals, serotonin and melatonin.
   Say your prayers before you sleep. The subconscious mind is active during sleeping and dreaming, and it responds to what you put into it right before bed.  Spend this time wisely—you don’t want that subconscious stewing about all the things you didn’t do, or did badly, all night. Instead, be grateful for your day. Praise yourself for what you did right.

              10 Habits to be more Productive

1.  Get Enough Sleep. No one is productive when sleep deprived.  And a 2009 study by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that 35.3 percent of Americans reported that they typically got less than seven hours of sleep daily. Sleep!

2.  Change your Mind. So often we make tasks so much more difficult just by thinking that they are. Although a task might seem daunting, you can’t know that it will be for certain before you do it.  Choose optimism and accept the challenge!

3.  Break the monumental task down into steps. Nobody sets out to climb Mt. Everest by first staring at the mountain. First, they learn how to climb . . .

4.   Do the hardest task on the list first. When you’re fresh. Ready to tackle it.  Then the rest will look so much easier.

5.   Turn off devices. We all know this. Tough to do at times!  But Research conducted at Stanford University found that multitasking is less productive than doing a single thing at a time.  Sadly, bouncing around to Facebook and Twitter counts.  Sigh

6.   Get Guidance. Unless you were born already knowing how and being able to do something you haven’t done, take a class, hire a coach, seek out a mentor who does. It’ll save so much time in the long run!

7.  Meditate. Although it may seem to take time out of your day and away from the task at hand, just twenty minutes a day changes your brain. It lowers blood pressure, alleviates stress, and about a zillion other benefits.

  Pat yourself on the back for a job well done. How incredibly important it is to acknowledge what you’ve done right! We (especially women) are great at berating ourselves for mistakes.  But at the end of the day, you’ve accomplished things as well.  Note those—especially before bedtime.
  Expect more of yourself, less of others. Hold yourself to the highest standards. If you miss the mark, tackle it again tomorrow.  Appreciate what others do, but having expectations will set you up for disappointment.
  Just Do It. Nike was right—jump in, tackle that task, get in the game.  Ruminating on the sidelines will get you nowhere.

                          10 Habits to be Better Organized

1.   Keep an organizer. A physical one works best for me (I’m a dinosaur!), but way back decades ago when I was an executive with the American Cancer Society, I learned to keep a structured calendar. Did that ever pay off in spades!  Being able to “see” my day, week, month keeps me on track.

2.  Break your week down into prioritized tasks. Do the hardest, most time-consuming ones early in the day and week.  It’ll take the pressure off.

3.  Unless your job is answering the phone, don’t answer/return calls except on scheduled time. Nothing gets you more off track than stopping your train of thought to chat for a while.

4.  Keep lists. And number the lists.  I have list # 1—top priorities. What has to get done.  List #2—what needs to get done this week/month.  List # 3—what I’d like to see happen.  As you can well imagine, lots of things stay on list 3.  But often they move up.  The main point is, the most important things don’t get lost in the mix.

5.  Schedule breaks or down time. You’ve so much more productive when you get away from it, even for a bit.

6.   Schedule time for unforeseen events. They’re going to happen, and by building time into your life, they then don’t derail your entire schedule.

7.   Delegate. Quite often, it truly does take a village.  And if you try to do it all, you’ll run yourself into the ground. Besides—others are experts at their jobs, just as you are.  Utilize their services.

8.   Meditate. Just always meditate.  A clear mind is so much more adept at organizing your life than a muddled one.

9.   Make Decisions. Nothing stops you more than regularly tabling a decision.  Make a decision and act.   Then go onto the next task.

10.  Learn to say No. It’s a tough one, but over-committing will destroy your schedule, and wreak havoc on your life.  You don’t need excuses, reasons, explanations, etc.  Just say no.

                   10 Habits I Wish I had

1.  Better Housekeeping. The literal kind.  Although I do clean (with 10 Labradors in the house, there is no choice!), I wish I were better organized with just the house stuff.  I’m not a hoarder or anything like that, but books have been piled everywhere for quite some time now!  And oh, they need to be reorganized in the bookcase and . . .

2.   Organic vegetable gardening. Oh, how I miss it!  And one day, I’ll carve out the time again.

3.   Beer making. I made the best Bosque Brew!  Gave it for Christmas presents and everything.  What a marvelous habit that was!

4.   Getting to bed earlier. This one is becoming more and more mandatory . . .

5.   Going to more dog shows. I know, right?  It seems like I go to a lot.  But not nearly enough!

6.   Better shopping for others. For myself too probably, but I don’t care so much about that.  I have this friend, though, Nancy Stewart, who is the world’s best shopper.  And she always finds the cutest things for presents, and one day I’m going to learn that . . .

7.   Keeping up with my literal neighbors. They’re such nice people.  And so helpful.  And while we pass on the street, etc., I don’t spend as much time with them as I’d like.  Why, little Alex across the street comes running over every time he sees me drive up, opens my gate, and always is smiling.  Such a sweet boy!

8.  Getting more massages. The health benefits are legion!  The Mayo Clinic lists these as just a few:

Anxiety
Digestive disorders
Fibromyalgia
Headaches
Insomnia related to stress
Myofascial pain syndrome
Paresthesias and nerve pain
Soft tissue strains or injuries
Sports injuries
Temporomandibular joint pain

Now, to find the time . . .

Listening to more music. All the health benefits associated with that.  I simply love the research of Dr. Masaru Emoto, who found music to be beneficial in healing physical and emotional imbalances.


 Loving more. It’s the key to life, and to happiness.  And while I am cognizant of expressing this, and do so often, there can never be too much!

For as author Marcel Proust said, “Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.”

What are your Happiness Habits?

 

The post 100 Habits for Happiness that will make Life better appeared first on Susan Mary Malone.

7 Actions You Can Take Right Now to Be in a Good Mood

We all get in crummy moods.  Oh, not the depressive or grieving ones.  Those take a different sort of attention to manage.  But just the down-home, from a definable source or not, garden-variety bad mood.

We don’t need to list the causes 

I don’t know about you, but I don’t like being in a bad mood.  It makes me grumpy. And worse, it takes happiness out of my moment.  Life is short.  I intend for my moments to be about creating my life, in a positive way, so even the loss of one precious moment is a sin.

Maybe a reason exists for why you’re not in a stellar place.  So, the plan is to figure out how to change your mood, without deceiving your own feelings.

Here’s a method to turn that frown back into a smile.

     Did You Transgress?

Okay, so that sounds counterproductive.  But in order to make sure that I’m not covering over emotions, I first dissect the feelings, and the actions and thoughts that led to them.

A guilty conscience, stuffed down, can sure ruin a day.  So, the question becomes did I do something to cause it.

Because of course if I did, I can take action to repair my sin.  And once you first ‘fess up, that mood goes from downturned to up.

    Have you Abandoned Yourself?

Of course not!  Why on Earth would you do that?

This can be in any area of your life, and often it occurs without you even thinking about it.

To make sure, make a list of habits that tend to bite you in the butt.  Not the kind you’re trying to overcome, but those you wish you had.  You know—eating more vegetables, walking daily, reading more uplifting material, anything that improves you in any way.

Have you been remiss in practicing these?

Practice one right now.  Even if it’s simply eating an apple.  I just saw a report that said the skins of apples help stay the muscle wasting we all experience as we grow older.  How cool is that?

      Have a nice cup of Darjeeling Tea.  Or a glass of ruby-red Sangiovese, which tickles your tongue.

The point being not to drink your bad mood away, but rather to re-direct your mind to the tingle of your taste buds and focus, just for a minute, on something other than what’s wrong.

Besides, both tea and wine in moderation have great health benefits, so you’re doing something good for yourself too.  Can’t beat that!

    Put in those ear buds and listen to a happy song. We know that music is a great mood lifter.  You can successfully improve your mood and boost overall happiness doing so, according to a study by Yuna Ferguson in The Journal of Positive Psychology.

It keeps you in the moment, rather than the future.

“People could focus more on enjoying their experience of the journey towards happiness and not get hung up on the destination,” Ferguson said.

     Pet your dog.

This one works for me on an ongoing basis! Because we know that when looking into the eyes of your dog or petting it, being close and focused, raises the oxytocin levels in both human and canine.  The bonding hormone.  Which also fosters a feeling of well-being.

Lord knows, I have enough four-leggeds here who always need attention that I get my dose every day!  But if I’m sad, have the blues, am in a bad mood, I stop, sit in the floor, and get snarfled by puppy love.  Before I know it, I’m laughing my way back to work.

     Think of someone or something you love. Just visualize that.

Didn’t you feel your heart turn around?  Just with the mental image of a beloved, you actually feel those emotions coursing through your body.  Boosting your immune system.  Making you smile.

         A Course in Miracles constantly says, there are only two emotions in the human breast—love and fear.  Fear being the manifestation of all feelings that are not love.  And you cannot feel them both at the same time.

By visualizing a being you love, you pivot your attention back to the positive.  And of course, your feelings follow 

     Smile.

Just practice the physical act of smiling.  If only for a group of seconds.

We’re not talking smile because you feel like it, but rather utilizing the muscles in your face that do so.  You know, like doing all those ab crunches at the gym you hate so much—working any muscle causes it to strengthen.

Funny thing about smiling—studies show that by doing so, your mood is actually lifted. So, you don’t have me telling you this, but scientists who study these things!

And funny enough too, often when I force a smile when I’m not feeling that at all, the act of doing so seems so ludicrous that it makes me laugh.  And I like to laugh.  It makes me happy!

The main point being, by doing any of these things or a hundred more like them, it gives you a break from the negative.  If only for a second or two.  But that opens the door to see whatever had you bummed in a new light.  Yep, it’s still there, but you got out from under it just long enough for it not to own you.

Which is the place from which you can handle it.

And that should make you happy!

What do you do to get in a good mood?

 

The post 7 Actions You Can Take Right Now to Be in a Good Mood appeared first on Susan Mary Malone.

We have this Hope as an Anchor and Things will get Better

We all go through dark times.  Funny thing about this life—bad stuff will happen.  It just will.

And sometimes, it seems as though the negative stays and stays, moving in like a rabble-rousing relative who refuses to vacate the premises.

Sadly, beating it over the head won’t send it away.  In fact, the converse is true—the more energy you give to the negative, the more it expands. 

I just had this happen.  My life got a little too nuts.  Way too much to do, and in all areas of my world, leading up to some major events.

Nobody was doing things to suit me.  Because of course I was getting a bit panicky, and the more I acquiesced to that, the more energy I gave to it, the more apparent it seemed that folks weren’t doing what they needed to be doing!

And, the more I messed up as well.  Because, well, when in panic mode, you just screw things up. 

This built and built until someone hacked into my website and took it down.  Entirely.  It disappeared.  Right before I Just Came Here to Dance launched.

If you insist on staying in panic, the Universe will surely give you bigger and bigger opportunities to do so. That Universe is funny like that—it gives you what you keep your attention tuned to.

While this may sound airy-fairy, new-agey to some, it’s a psychological truth as well.  What you focus upon grows in your subconscious, filters into your conscious mind, and you make decisions and take actions based on it. 

For good or for bad.

If you truly believe the light at the end of the tunnel is a train, you’ll make decisions based on that (such as jumping off the trundle bridge to your death or broken bones).  I’m not saying that said proverbial light is never a train, but the vast majority of the time it’s simple sunlight. 

You know, kinda like Occam’s Razor.  That old principle that if you hear footsteps, it’s almost always a horse.  Yep, it can be a zebra, but the simplest answer is true the vast majority of the time.

There is truly only one antidote to this, and it doesn’t reside in the outer world.

It all starts in your head. 

The old saying, ‘What you resist, persists’ is also a psychological as well as a spiritual truth.  For the same reason—you’re giving your focus and energy to it.  Because what you think about expands.  And that’s what you make decisions upon.

The good news is that we have this hope as an anchor.  If life circumstances go South, we can focus on the warm sunshine on our shoulders, as John Denver sang.  Corny, yep, but nonetheless effective.

When my world went to Hades without pomegranate seeds to sustain me, I did what any conscious woman would do—I stopped.  I turned over the website issues to folks who know those things.  I had a nice glass of Chardonnay, and sat in the warm evening air with my dogs around me.

And I felt grateful for the sun’s late slanted rays, the oaky-vanilla chard on my tongue, and the big fat slurps and antics of fur kids who could care less about websites (no matter how often I tell them that puts puppy chow in the bowls!). 

I could truly appreciate what I had and have.

And from that, I have hope.

Of course the issues got resolved, I took my mind out of control mode and let folks do what they do best, appreciating all that they had done and were doing.

I put my focus on what mattered, and the energy field around me shifted.

No matter the circumstances, there is always light.  Perhaps a tiny pinprick, but it’s there.  And the more you focus on it, the larger it grows. 

And sooner or later, you find yourself back in that coveted Zone, and all is again going well.

How do you deal with the darkness?

The post We have this Hope as an Anchor and Things will get Better appeared first on Susan Mary Malone.

Sometimes Life just has to Slow Down so You Can Focus

Do you ever feel like a rat in a maze?  Running from task to turn, spinning until you think, wasn’t I just here?  Chasing a non-existent tail around a sharp-angled curve?

Ever feel that way?

I’ve just had a sustained time of way too much to do.  We all have those stints.  Where the segments of life kept compartmentalized in order to attend to all the tasks associated with each seem endless.  Which becomes exhausting when all goes well, and insane when whatever subject snakes out of its appointed box on the shelf. 

Yikes.

And I don’t know about you, but when that occurs, it affects my mood.  And not in a positive way!  And one thing I know for true is that when I allow that to occur, my life goes straight to Hell without even a handbasket.

Long ago, I ran across this definition of Hell:  Useless, unnecessary suffering. Now, not getting into the theology of it all, this practical definition always resonates with me.  Because I’ve learned along the rutted path that I create my own Hell on Earth. 

Our lives always tend to come back to us, no?

And often when in that scenario, I lose sight of my purpose.

Triple yikes!

Because when that occurs, then the whole: What am I doing this for? Rears its quite repulsive head.

And that’s when I know for sure—it’s time for a mental, emotional, spiritual change.

So I did the most counter-intuitive thing I know in this situation.  And paradoxically, the thing that always works.

I stopped.

Oh, not everything.  But quit one of my most time-consuming tasks through all of this.  I just stopped.  For a whole week.

And took the time for me.

Now, some folks might watch movies and eat ice cream during such a hiatus.  Or, leave the premises for a vacation.  Both of which I heartily endorse!

But this wasn’t a time for diversion.  At least not for me, not during this very spell.

No, the juncture had come where that old ‘finding your purpose’ was mandatory. 

And with it, a bit to slow down and enjoy life.

So I spent the week getting back to what makes me tick, on the inside.  Back to spiritual food, to reading the bound books stacked up on every corner of my home.  To turn another direction (which is the literal definition of ‘repent’) and refocus my priorities.  

Because another thing I know for true is a funny thing about this life—it has never slowed down for me on its own.

And when I’m in the thick of the jungle, trudging through the slog, no way exists to see the forest for the trees.

Women Who Run with the Wolves by Clarisa Pinkola Estes is a bible of mine.  Through myths it conveys what makes us tick, focused on following the deep intuition.  Then I read the cutest little whimsical book called E Squared by Pam Grout, which gives 9 experiments that prove your thoughts create your reality.

Sometimes you need that broader view, the wide-angle lens, so you can pinpoint from where you’ve come, and that the goal in sight is indeed closer and still rife with meaning and purpose. 

Yep, needed that.

I picked up a marvelous book by Sports Psychiatrist Michael Lardon called Finding Your Zone, which discusses in-depth how folks (using the model of athletics but not relegated to that) get into that elusive zone.  Step 1 is to ask for insight from a dream before sleeping, then writing down those dreams.

I’ve done deep dream work, but hadn’t in a while, being so sleep deprived that I haven’t been remembering them, even though I know we have 5-7 dreams per night.  What heaven to get back to the wisdom of those!

And within the seed there, my desires and dreams and goals all surged with energy that my body and mind had forgotten. 

Priorities reemerged.  Sharpened and became so much clearer.  As I pulled away the weeds from my path, I let go of old useless patterns and the way grew bright again.

And my commitment to the finish returned—stronger than ever before.

So yep, although it seems insane when in the midst of far too much to do, when the race has miles and miles yet to be run, when the frenzy grabs your throat and screams, “Keep sprinting now!” to instead stop and smell the roses, that’s sometimes exactly what needs to be done.  Otherwise you might be running in the entirely wrong direction to boot. 

To slow down and enjoy life can seem just anathema at times.  But those are usually the very junctures where it’s mandatory.  Maybe not for an entire week.  But then again, maybe so.

Because without clear and sharp focus, we lose sight of our goals. Indeed, we’re just running.    

How do you slow life down?

 

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This is Why I Love to Write Fiction

Writing anything is creative, no?  Narrative non-fiction, any sort of non-fiction actually, blogging, article writing, all are creative endeavors.

But those’re mostly left-brain undertakings, where you have a plan, an exact theme you’re writing to, usually with quite rigid specs.  That does, though, still take some right-brain spark to make it worth reading.

Fiction, however, is an entirely different playing field.  It takes inspiration, and an ethereal quality that’s akin to an athlete being in the zone, to pull off with any sort of decent results. 

It’s a falling into the spiritual abyss with all the uncertainty and fears that spring up from the dark silent places.  Because to write fiction well, you have to be willing to let your characters go where they want, rather than be shoved into the slot you made for them in your head. 

They’ll fight you if you do the latter.  And become beige and flat.

But if you let them run, along with the feeling of flying without a net, they’ll take you to places you’d never dreamed. 

I Just Came Here to Dance came to me in a literal dream.  I dreamed driving over that steep hill, the sunlight filtering in dappled visions through the trees, shards of it piercing and sepia and all the world perfectly a-glow.  Then down that hill into a nether world I had never before known.

I dreamed the kids playing stairball up and down the bleachers of the gigantic though dilapidated coliseum, looking at any second as though they could tumble to their deaths.

Dreamed Paula Anne finding herself plopped down—through events she couldn’t have foreseen—on Diana Maclean’s porch, amidst myths and fairytales and, maidens and crones, and her very own version of Blue Duck come to life.

I thought I knew where this story was going. 

And anytime a writer does that, she’s just fallen into the pit of delusion.

Because if the story doesn’t veer off 180 degrees from what you thought, you’re not letting the characters run nekkid across the wind-swept moor, the tiger on their heels. 

Okay, so that doesn’t happen.  But mixed-metaphorically speaking, anyway!

And if you do let them run, oh, my, the places they’ll take you! This is the moment of bliss.

What my characters often teach me about life are things I swear I never knew.  Which isn’t possible, no?  Has to be in the deep subconscious somewhere, right?

Or does it?

Because there is the personal unconscious, and then there’s what Jung termed the collective unconscious—that deep pool of knowledge available to us all.

And when I’m plugged into it while writing, wisdom flows that’s not from me. 

It is, simply, my most reverent form of prayer.  And I’m so blessed that this prayer often goes on for hours, days, if all is right with the world, months while I’m neck deep in a novel.  Ahh . . .

Never do I feel closer to the Divine.

It’s this very numinosity, this floating on the gossamer wings of the creative muse, her whispers in your ear, which makes all the work parts of it worth it. And then some. It makes life rich and full and bursting with luscious delights. 

As Mythologist Joseph Campbell said, “Anyone writing a creative work knows that you open, you yield yourself, and the book talks to you and builds itself. To a certain extent, you become the carrier of something that is given to you from what have been called the Muses—or, in biblical language, ‘God.’” – The Power of Myth (with Bill Moyers)

What has writing taught you?

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Stop Worrying and Be Free to Be an Assertive Woman

I lived much of my life as a worrier.  In fact, I’ve been known for it!  As friends often said, “Oh, I know you’ll worry.”  Doesn’t much matter what the “about” was.  I just worried.

Fretted, may be a better word!

As one friend said, “You always go to the dark side.” 

Yep!

Once something negative happened, I flashed to worst-case scenario.  Saw all the monsters surely headed my way.  Became filled up with doom.

Now, doesn’t that sound like a lovely way to live?  Because as we all know, stuff’s gonna happen.  Doesn’t matter what your beliefs, or how meticulously you walk your path, life will bring you coal sludge.  Brings you cupcakes too, but for god’s sake, let’s not focus on those!

To see the positive in a situation, or even just not the horrible, has been a nemesis of mine.  And then, a funny thing happened on the way to the dungeon . . . 

I realized I didn’t have to see things that way.

Oh, I know—lots of folks tried to teach me that, along the rocky paths of life.  And yes, Lord knows I’ve had my share of heartache and sorrow.  That history kept (and still keeps at times) the reality of what can happen front and center.

None of us will get out of here alive.  We’ll all die before our loved ones, or they before us.  Terrible things can happen.

But this only becomes pathological when as soon as the check didn’t arrive, we plunge into the darkness of mental poverty. 

Or act the equivalent after any litany of negative events.

What I realized, finally, was that all those monsters I worried about encountering down whatever road probably wouldn’t materialize.  And if they did, two out of four would fall in the ditch, one would veer another direction, and the last, even though I had to meet it, didn’t have the snarling fangs I had envisioned.  

In short, things are rarely if ever as awful as my imagination made them out to be. 

Okay, I do write fiction and visions dance in my head all the time.  And while it does help to “see” my characters embroiled in conflict (which is what drives the story), I don’t have to focus on the negative in my own life.

Who knew.

Because the heart of it for me was that worrying, the actual act of doing so, kept me out of the present moment.  And the present moment is where the future is born.  And if all I did was worry and fret, the future would evolve exactly as the part of the past I didn’t favor.

Oh.  Well then, when you put it that way . . .

So, I started choosing differently, in my own head.

I mean, here’s the deal: When presented with two possible outcomes of whatever you’re doing, planning, etc., can you say with 100% certainty that the negative one will occur?  If so, please send me your crystal ball! 

And if you don’t have that absolute certainty, then why on Earth choose to believe it?  Why not make a different choice, and focus on the positive outcome?

Which opens doors to steps you can take to achieve it. Because when you’re convinced (or even think) the bad outcome will occur, why take another step toward it?  Wouldn’t that be insanity?

What I learned, in essence, was to stop worrying and start living. 

Worry takes enormous energy.  And I don’t know about you, but I don’t have a lot of energy to spare.  In fact, I need it this morning to write this, and then to go play with fun stuff about the launch of I Just Came Here to Dance (what fun!),  and then . . .

You get the picture.  Like yours, my life is rich and full and filled with delights—which I’d miss if I were worrying about the book launch—which with previous ones, I’ve done.  What joys I’ve missed!

So focus on what you want to have happen.  Stand tall and face the world you’ve created, and the one that comes to you unbidden.  Feel the freedom of the present moment, and say what’s in you to say.  Lean into the bow and welcome the wind. 

Your future awaits you!

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The Legend of the Weeping Woman Lives on

All through Latin America, a myth is told about the woman weeping upon the river bank in the dead of night.  She weeps eternally, for she has drowned her children in the dark waters below.

Well, now, that’s a lovely myth, you say!

Ah, the beauty of myths—the true ones have teeth to them.

And while La Llorona has gone through many, many iterations over the centuries, and a litany of “meanings” have been ascribed to it, for the women I know especially (myself included), this myth tells the tale of the drying up of a woman’s soul.

In the gifted most specifically, it speaks to the dearth of creativity.

The outer parameters of the story tell of a beautiful young woman who marries a prince, bears him two children, then he tosses her over for another.  In her grief and despair, she throws her two sons into the river where they drown, then she dies on the banks above them.  When she gets to the pearly gates, St. Peter tells her she can indeed enter, for she has suffered much, but only when she retrieves her dead boys.

So, she can be heard weeping, weeping in the night as she seines the waters for her sons.

In myths and dreams and great stories, all of the characters are parts of oneself.  The evil husband represents the Jungian animus in a woman’s psyche—the male side, whose function is to carry out her creative ventures.  And this one has been corrupted—by the culture, by the complexes in the psyche, by, well, whatever comes from without and poisons from within.  Rather than support the feminine dreams and desires, he tosses them aside.

And in those same venues, babies and children represent the new, the creative, the ideas originating from deep within a woman’s soul.

You know—that book you long to write, the painting you seem to take up and cast off, the whatever that speaks to you in whispers, longingly in the night . . .

And when a woman doesn’t honor that—“I’ll write it once I get x, y, z finished,” or, “Why yes, once the kids are grown, I’ll take up my art again,” or any variation on this theme—the deep river within her becomes polluted, the animus, destructive, and the babies within her breast sink into the murky depths.

And just as with any river rife with pollution and death, the whole universe suffers.

As part of one larger whole, we are meant to give our gifts to this world.

In the just released I Just Came Here To Dance, the La Llorona myth is told on Diana’s porch.  Although one of many, it’s one that sticks with Paula Anne as she tries to make sense of the shambles her life has become.

Having sent her son to camp for the summer, her first reaction to the myth is that she drowned her own boy.  Metaphorically, of course.  But she first thinks that because of her season of insanity, her child has suffered.

Not until almost the end does she realize that yes, her boy has been wounded in the life she chose, although not by her trying to figure it out.  But rather by all the years she has spent living in and denying her own polluted waters.

That’s what caused her to shiver at the story, although she didn’t realize it at the time.

And isn’t that how we do?  Something chills us to the bone, and rather than facing the biting wind, bending forward into the dark and cold, we run the other way . . .

That’s the best prescription I know for neurosis, for finding ourselves weeping, weeping in the night, our fingers relegated to sweeping the dark waters for discarded ideas of the soul.

We weren’t meant to ignore our gifts.  Nor our dreams, our desires, the things that call to us in the night.  Those things that are ours alone to do.  That is a method straight to soul killing if ever I knew one.

As Diana counsels Paula Anne, do you believe God puts a deep desire into your heart, with no means to attain it?  Something that is truly not yours to do?

Now that would be a capricious God, indeed.

What is that thing that you are called to do, and which you’re just not quite getting to?  You know, you will when you retire.  When the kids go to college.  When your house is just oh-so perfectly clean, when the days get longer . . .

What is that thing that calls to you over the polluted river running through your soul?

There is one prescription: Still those voices of doubt.  Banish the excuses.  Feed yourself the sustenance needed to give you strength.

Just begin it.

For as the Philosopher Johann Wolfgang von Goethe said, “Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.”

 

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What Internal Predator have You Overcome?

The Internal Predator: The true monster at the gate.

But you don’t have one of those, right?  No evil haunts your dreams, chasing you through the night.  You gave that up long ago, you say?  No hairy beasts nor malevolent men prey upon your nightmares like a serial killer run amok?

Really?

A funny thing happens on the way to what Carl Jung called individuation (which is just a fancy term for the development of the individual personality).

Monsters, that’s what.

And we all have them.

They’re those bits of the personality that were damaged in childhood, which follow us throughout our lives and manifest as complexes and neuroses and we often don’t even recognize them as being there. Much less try and make sense of and heal them.

Our dreams do, though.  And quite often, those arise in nightmares populated by the things we will not see in the light.

Myths portray them oh-so-well, a true myth being a manifestation of the collective dream.  Which just means those points of being human that are universal to all of us, and resonate with an entire culture.

The Bluebeard myth comes to mind.  In it, the youngest daughter (i.e., the naïve part of oneself) is courted by the successful wealthy man, swept off her feet in the literal sense.  Of course the two older sisters already knew better!  Having grown up a hair more, they’re a bit wiser not only of the ways of the world, but of their own shortcomings as well.

And even though things seem just a little “off” around the edges, the youngest sister says to herself, “I’m lucky to have such a wealthy accomplished man who’s asked me to wed! Why, his beard is not really so blue . . .”

Because of course, that’s what the naïve part of us says.

He then of course turns out to be a mass murderer, and the skeletons of his host of past wives lay all akimbo in the basement.

There are about a zillion rich and psyche-unveiling points in this myth, but the pertinent one to this post is that even though she was young and naïve, her intuition still tried to warn her, pointing out that indeed, how odd, the man’s beard had a blueish tint, which perhaps wasn’t quite right . . .

But that naïve part of her wouldn’t listen.

And that’s exactly how complexes become neuroses in the psyche.

Because in all dreams, which become great myths, the players in the story are all parts of ourselves.

Yep, even the evil serial killers.

Almost all of the chapters in I Just Came Here to Dance begin with a brief dream sequence, and Paula Anne fights often with an internal mass murderer through her nights. Hers takes the form of Blue Duck, from Lonesome Dove, the most repulsively evil half-breed in the West, who ultimately kidnaps Lorena and . . . well, you don’t want to know!  But it was graphically horrible.

As our story goes, Paula Anne begins to face her own foibles and complexes, the neurosis of a life not examined until forced to.  Through a long hot summer, she listens as myths and stories are told and enacted on Diana’s (known as the White Witch of Sociable, Texas) porch.

At first of course she thinks they’re silly (the uninitiated almost always do:) ), a waste of time.  But as the tale progresses, as she learns and grows, becoming stronger with each trial and tribulation, the veil over her eyes lifts, and the wisdom of the stories opens up to her.

In the process she begins to hear her own intuition, and finally to trust and follow its guidance.

Although of course, no book is finished until the end, and a final major trial lies in wait.  Before that, as Paula Anne’s sifting through, trying to make sense of events, Diana says to her, “You really are loved and protected,” (that being intuition) “but your internal predator still hounds you.” (That being the bits of neurosis not completely healed).

Who knew a war of such epic proportions was being waged within the breast of us all!

Difficult road, this being human.

But oh, the richness of the myths, of dreams, of all the good within and amongst us, trying to teach and benefit us all!  What a marvelous Universe we live in!

So listen for that whispering voice within you, saying go this way, or that.  Listen and honor the guidance.  The more you do, the less the chains of the predator can bind you; and the brighter your light can shine.

What internal predator have you overcome?

 

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Vasilisa’s World of Course was Perfect but then . . .

“Once, long ago, in a far-off country in a tiny village . . . “

So many myths and stories begin that way, and many folks hear that to think, oh, this is just a fairytale.

And yes, yes it is a fairytale.  But the essence of true myths and fairytales slices down into our souls and resonates deeply within.

And that first line is like our heroes in Star Wars entering that bar in the outlands as they start their trek, and finding only aliens there.

Because any good story forces our hero from the warmth of her hearth and into the wild unknown.  And that first line of “Once upon a . . .” is meant to garner the same effect—you have just entered the Twilight Zone. Of whatever sort.

So, long ago lived a quite lovely child, so much so that she was known as Vasilisa the Beautiful.  Which is a wonderful thing, no?  For children are oh-so-beautiful in their own right.  Vasilisa’s world of course was perfect, with a mother and father who loved her to the moon.

But life has a way of making left turns, no?  And such happened when Vasilisa’s mother died.  On her death bed she gave to Vasilisa a most beautiful doll, and told her to always keep the doll in her pocket.  When scared or confused, she need just ask that doll what to do.

Of course then came the wicked stepmother and stepsisters.  Of course they did.  When we talk about conflict in books, fairytales show us step-by-step examples of how to create those!  These tales are rife with conflict on every page.

And in keeping with that, the step-women didn’t like Vasilisa because she was so sweet and so beautiful and oh-so-wonderful in all ways.

So they sent her out into the dark forest to Baba Yaga’s house to get fire, having let theirs go out for this very purpose.

No one ever came back from the dark forest.  And Baba Yaga was known to eat small children.

No lack of conflict there!

As the child navigates the forest filled with monsters and creepy wails, whenever she comes to a crossroads, she asks the doll, who instructs which path to follow.

Now, wouldn’t that be nice!

This myth factors in intrinsically to I Just Came Here to Dance, and at one point, our hero thinks, I wish I had some stupid doll in my pocket to tell me what to do!).  It is but one of the myths told on Diana’s porch throughout that novel, but it’s the one that anchors the story, and weaves all the way through until the end.

This is the easy part.  Don’tcha just love how myths do that!  You’re trucking along on whatever path you find yourself, mastering tasks and learning skills and oh, things are going so fabulously!  And hey, “I can do this!” bubbles up from within.

And then . . .

Well, then you get to your own Baba Yaga’s house, whatever that may be in your own story, and it sits atop scaly chicken legs and dances ‘round and ‘round, circled by skulls with fire burning out their eyes and noses and . . .

Hey, you came for fire, no?  Thought it’d be easy?

Anyhow, as the trials get scarier and scarier, harder and harder, the prospect of death very real, well, now trusting that doll becomes a hair more difficult . . .

But trust her doll, Vasilisa does.  And she learns at every step.  And when push comes to shove, she earns the skull burning from within with the very fire she needs to light her home.

Notice, she earns it.  Nothing was given in myths and fairytales, until it was won.

Throughout the story, her courage grows, step by step.  Her knowledge and mastery flourish, step by step.

And it all stemmed from learning to trust that doll in her pocket, which told her which way to go.

That doll, of course, is the soul of intuition.  We all have her in our pockets—whether we pay much attention to her or not.

The question is not whether your intuition is there, but how deeply is it buried.  By ego’s voice. By complexes of one kind or another.  By the old tapes of society and religion and culture that told you intuition was not to be trusted, as it’s a woman thing, where man’s logic works better.  Or from that old white-haired god in sky whom you obey—not the personal divinity in your soul.  Or any litany of lies we were raised with.

But it’s there, nevertheless.  Always there.

When Paula Anne bemoans not having said doll, Lola the crone answers, “You do, dearie, you do.” 

Vasilisa learns to trust hers through literal trial by fire. Which is, of course, always the meaning of the Wicked Old Witch.  She forces you to face your internal demons (which mirror her), and master tasks that cause you to grow.  She is the seat of creativity, which flies on fire’s wings.

Because that doll of intuition never steers you wrong.  You feel it, in your gut, in your heart, in your bones.  You feel the right way to go—whether you take the direction or not.  There, in the essence of your soul, you know the right move.

The God of your soul is speaking.

Listen carefully.  Its voice is never the loudest.  Its whispers sometimes difficult to hear.  But under the all the noise from a thousand directions, it’s the one that never ceases.

There is a reason the Vasilisa story is known across the world, from ancient traditions in different cultures (although the earliest form comes from Russia).

And there is a reason she is known equally as often as Vasilisa the Beautiful, and Vasilisa the Wise.

From the deepest part of her soul, her wisdom blossomed.

And just as Paula Anne’s does, yours can too.

Can you hear the sounds of the doll in your pocket, whispering the wisdom of the ages to you?

 

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I Just Came Here to Dance It is the Essence of My Heart

Because that’s really what I went there to do!

Long ago, I lived far far out in the boonies, all alone out on the farm, writing and learning my craft and loving every second of it all.

But people in the country need entertainment too, you know?

And there was this dancehall . . .

It was one of those huge crazy clubs that was a family affair.  Yep, the kids came too.  Odd, the things that occur in the country.

So many good times were had with friends!  Years after my last visit, it stayed with me.

Through that stretch as well, I began an in-depth study of myths, which would become a huge part of my life’s passion.  Reading the great ancient stories, I began to see the patterns—from similar ones all over the world, many originating long before the printed word.

Until somehow, as the odd mind of a writer often works, the country life and the myths amalgamated into a winding story of a people and place embroiled in deep conflict, the outer struggle mirroring the inner war within the main character.

It came to me in a dream.  Winding up that magical hill, and then down into a town that time forgot.  From there I fell onto Diana’s porch, much as Paula Anne does in the novel, and listened to the myths and stories told there as El Duende blew soul into the face of the listeners.  I was captivated by the stories, and began to write them down . . .

Odd how novels come about, no?

And this one grabbed by me the throat and never let go.  It went through many revisions, many iterations, over a longer span of years than I can even believe.  I fell in love with the people, the place, the idea of what they were trying to build.

I learned more from writing this novel than just about anything in my entire life.  Good thing, with all those years spent!  But genuine myths echo and resonate deep within the soul, conveying the most profound truths inside us all.

I lost my very breath when I found that the fire’s ashes produce wisdom and courage, just as the stories say.

As the years (and versions) continued, finally coming to publication, never once did I mind proofing draft after publication draft.  Each and every single time, I fell right back into this myth within a myth, and cherished my time there.

I can’t say that about everything I’ve written!  LOL.  To be honest, I’ve whined about having to do that with other books.

But never with this one.  It is the essence of my heart.

There is a sequel to be written, but hesitation keeps me from it.  Oh, not the work part.  That’s always welcomed.  But rather that I know a piece of it I’d rather not know, which gives my heart pause.  As a grave is being filled, Paula Anne has a fleeting thought, one that doesn’t stick with her.  Did with me though.  She has a knowing that one day she will return, to bury the last of the Maclean women.

I’m just not ready to go there.  Yet.

So for now I’ll ride the waltz on the rickety bridge far from civilization, with the crickets as symphony to the accordion’s strum.  And again under the hot moonlight, with a strong arm guiding my naked skin . . .

Because in truth through this book I just fell in love with the pirouette of life.  And learned, as did Paula Anne, “that the dance itself is always changing.  So, too, the steps we take within in.  And once you catch the rhythm, the flow becomes endless.” 

My wish is that you catch it too.

 

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