Thom S. Rainer's Blog, page 337

How Pastors Should Leave a Difficult Church

In Saturday’s post, we heard from Chris Bonts as he shared the painful story of his difficult church. Today we conclude the conversation as Chris tells us how to leave a difficult church. As a reminder, this story is very personal for Chris. He experienced these pains to the point that he was pressured to leave the church. I encourage you again to read his fascinating eBook, How to Survive a Difficult Church.

Thom: Chris, when did you know it was time to leave the difficult church?

Chris: When I became convinced, through prayer, wise counsel, and a number of events, that I would not be the pastor to lead the church to resolve the aforementioned issues in a manner that would bring glory to Christ, improve the health of the church, and place us in a position to reach the community with the gospel.  My mistakes in leadership and the attacks of certain factions had just proven too costly to allow us to move forward together.  It didn’t hurt that there were a number of deacons who agreed with my assessment.

Thom: What advice can you give pastors if they come to the point where they know they must leave the difficult church?

Chris: The pastor should leave in as godly a manner as possible.  While it will be tempting to use your final words from the pulpit to get in a parting shot at those who undermined your ministry, to act in such a manner would be to abandon the example of Christ.  I believe a pastor should leave in a manner that makes it as easy as possible for the next pastor of that church to reap the harvest for God’s glory.  The pastor should leave in a manner that allows those who are paying attention to see Jesus, to see a biblical example of loving those with whom we disagree.  Additionally, the pastor should leave in a manner that does not cause others to lose faith in the church.  I have seen far too many Christians over the years grow disillusioned with the cause of Christ and the church of Christ because of how the church treated a pastor to whom they were close, causing great harm to their walk with Christ.  When I resigned, I wanted to be more attentive to the needs of those in my flock than any desire to justify myself in the flesh.

Additionally, I wanted to resign in a manner that protected my children from the ugliness of church ministry.  I didn’t want my children to think, for even a moment, that the church had hurt their father.  In many ways, I am still their hero.  They would have taken an attack on me personally, which would have hurt their love of the church.  I want my kids to love the church because loving the church is a vital part of loving Jesus Christ.  I did not want to resign or leave in a manner that would cause them to love the church or Jesus less.

Thom: What are some of the key lessons you learned after serving as a pastor of a difficult church?

Chris: First, and most importantly, I learned to have a greater love for my Savior.  There were many times when it was difficult to love certain individuals in my church because of their actions toward me.  It was during those times, that I was able to see most clearly my Savior’s love for me.  I’ve sinned against him far more than anyone has sinned against me, yet his love for me is persistent, faithful, and beyond measure.  As I grew in my understanding of my Savior’s love for me, I grew in my love for the church.  I can honestly say I loved my “difficult church” more when it was time to leave than I ever did during our brief honeymoon period.

Second, I learned that even in the worst of situations, the gospel is still powerful to change lives.  While I may not have seen the kind of results I wanted to see for the church as a whole, I was privileged to lead a number of men and women to the Lord and I was privileged to disciple a number of men and women.  Just last week I received a text message from a man who was leading three other men through an in-depth study of the spiritual disciplines and systematic theology using notes from our discipleship time together!

Third, I learned that God is sovereign, and He intends to use our hardship in ministry to make us better pastors. Throughout my time at the church and in the few months that I was not the pastor of a church, God revealed a number of areas where I needed to grow as a pastor, as a husband, and as a father.  I can honestly say I am a better pastor, husband, and father now than I was when I started my journey in my difficult church.  There are lessons learned in the crucible of hardship that cannot be learned anywhere else.  I don’t want to learn the lessons again, but I am glad to have learned them.

Thank you, Chris, for being willing to re-visit a very painful time in your life. We too have learned from your hardships.

Readers, feel free to respond with your thoughts. Chris will likely be watching and responding.

Pray for Vintage Church

Location: New Orleans, LA

Pastor: Rob Wilton

Worship times: 10:00 AM, 10:45 AM, and 11:00 AM Central Time (Multiple campuses)

Fast Facts: Vintage Church launched in 2008 in the living room of Rob and Annabeth Wilton. They had a passion for the people of New Orleans and quickly multiplied to numerous community groups and gatherings. As they continued to witness life change, the church launched ministries in three locations: Uptown, Metairie, and Lakefront.

This fall the church will unite all campuses for a campaign called “All In.” Their goal is to strengthen the church family and multiply their efforts. They desire to continue to send individuals and families all over New Orleans and the world. They acknowledge New Orleans is a challenging city, but they believe the Gospel of Jesus is bigger than any challenge they face. Their “All In” campaign will launch September 7.

Website: www.vintagenola.org

“Pray for . . .” is the Sunday blog series at ThomRainer.com. We encourage you to pray for these churches noted every Sunday. Please feel free to comment that you are praying as well.

If you would like to have your church featured in the “Pray for…” series, download this information form and return it to the address on the form. 

How Pastors Survive a Difficult Church

There are great rewards in the pastoral call. And there are times that there is great pain. In this post I have asked Chris Bonts to share his experiences in a difficult church, one where he eventually left under pressure. I encourage you to get his newly-released eBook on this topic.

Thom: As much as you feel comfortable, will you share with us the story of your church?

Chris: For starters, every church is a difficult church on some level.  After all, they are filled with fallen sinners and led by fallen sinners!  The situation that prompted the writing of this book was a situation in which I was called to lead a church that faced a number of challenges, some of which I was ill-equipped to lead them through, others which the congregation (from my perspective) was unwilling to address.

Like many churches, my situation was comprised of factionalism, resistance to change, too much debt, a history of conflict, divisiveness, and short pastoral tenure.  Each of those issues presents a challenge to pastoral ministry and leadership.  When they are coupled with other issues, they can be overwhelming.

In addition to inheriting a church with a host of issues, I also inherited a church with tremendous administrative demands, which was a major area of weakness for me.  My administrative shortcomings (which I have since addressed in significant ways) actually made my situation worse.  I found it difficult to stay on top of issues, keep everyone informed of changes, cast vision, and motivate ministry teams to pull in the same direction in ministry in a church that size.  In a typical church I might have overcome those issues in time to grow into the pastor this church needed.  Given the lack of general church health and specific challenges this church faced, my lack of administrative expertise proved to be a major hurdle.

In addition to my church’s history and my shortcomings, there was one key event that produced greater conflict within the church early in my tenure that seemed to solidify a couple of key groups in their opposition to my ministry.  It was a church discipline issue that presented itself six weeks after my arrival at the church.  This was not a minor case of disagreement, one in which I could bide my time and slowly bring the church along.  It was a major issue of sexual sin that was exposed in a very public way.  To refuse to address it would have meant a blatant disregard for Scripture and would have given the appearance that our church condoned the actions of the individual in question.  In calling our church to pray for the repentance of the individual in question (without naming the person) and discussing what would happen should the person not repent, I started a firestorm of controversy and complaints that lasted until the day I left (I literally received email complaints about my handling of the situation four years after the fact).

This church had never discussed church discipline in her history, a fact confirmed by many longstanding members.  The shock of such a discussion apparently encouraged several influential members to dig in their heels in opposition to their ministry.  One man personally voted “no” for every item that came up in a business meeting after that event, just to make a point.  Another member told me he made a point to stand up and vote “yes” triumphantly in the very first business meeting after my departure!  Another lady made a point of saying loudly, “Praise God” when I announced my resignation from the pulpit.  It was a challenging church to say the least.

Thom: How long were you into this ministry when you discovered it would be a difficult church?

Chris: I discovered soon after I arrived that it was going to be a much more difficult church than I had imagined.  When I was a candidate for this church, I was told by numerous individuals that it was a great church, with tremendous potential, that it just needed a few programmatic tweaks before seeing some significant growth.  Six weeks after I arrived, an unavoidable church discipline situation presented itself, which revealed just how many difficulties I would face.  From that point forward, it never ceased to amaze me the lengths some folks would go to in an effort to criticize me over minor issues.

Thom: What are some of the signs that let you know it would be a very difficult ministry?

Chris: This question is unfortunately too easy for me to answer.  I have personally counseled scores of pastors in difficult situations.  There is a common challenge that presents itself in these types of churches.  A truly difficult church, in my opinion, is marked by factions that care more about their vision for the church than obedience to Scripture and individuals who will attack a pastor personally in an effort to protect their desired direction for the church.  I know from personal experience that I am not the only pastor who has been falsely accused of issues in an effort to convince others it was time for a change in leadership.

Thank you, Chris, for your transparency. On Monday Chris will share with us how a pastor should leave a difficult church.

What do you think of this story? Do you have similar experiences? How can we help pastors who are going through such difficult times?

Megachurches in the SBC — Rainer on Leadership #019

Podcast Episode #019

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For the past few years, I’ve shared a list here at ThomRainer.com of the largest churches in the SBC (2010, 2011, 2012). It’s a perennial top post because, no matter your opinion of megachurches, there is a certain fascination that surrounds the megachurch phenomenon. While megachurches are not new, they are more prominent than ever. And the big ones have gotten even larger.

In this week’s podcast episode, Jonathan and I review the top ten largest churches in the SBC. We also discuss this growing fascination with megachurches and what they mean for smaller churches that might sit in their shadows. At the end of the show, we look back to 1992 and the top 10 churches and see that while the sizes might have changed, many of the names have not.

Episode Sponsor

This week’s podcast is brought to you by LifeWay Research. LifeWay Research assists and equips church leaders with insight and advice that will lead to greater levels of church health and effectiveness. Let LifeWay Research improve the impact of your ministry by improving communications, focusing leadership, mobilizing believers, understanding trends, discovering opportunities, and reaching new people. Visit them online at LifeWayResearch.com.

Feedback

If you have a question you would like answered on the show, fill out the form on the podcast page here at ThomRainer.com. If we use your question, you’ll receive a free autographed copy of I Am a Church Member.

Friday Is for Freebies: Theology of the Reformers & the HCSB Study Bible

Today’s freebie is the 25th anniversary edition of Timothy George’s Theology of the Reformers. First released in 1988, this  edition includes a new chapter and bibliography on William Tyndale, the reformer who courageously stood at the headwaters of the English Reformation. Also included are expanded opening and concluding chapters and updated bibliographies on each reformer.

Theology of the Reformers articulates the theological self-understanding of five principal figures from the period of the Reformation: Martin Luther, Huldrych Zwingli, John Calvin, Menno Simons, and William Tyndale. George establishes the context for their work by describing the spiritual climate of their time. Then he profiles each reformer, providing a picture of their theology that does justice to the scope of their involvement in the reforming effort.

George details the valuable contributions these men made to issues historically considered pillars of the Christian faith: Scripture, Jesus Christ, salvation, the church, and last things. The intent is not just to document the theology of these reformers, but also to help the church of today better understand and more faithfully live its calling as followers of the one true God.

Through and through, George’s work provides a truly integrated and comprehensive picture of Christian theology at the time of the Reformation.

Also included is the black, genuine leather version of the HCSB Study Bible, a comprehensive, easy to read, and easy to use Bible, with features and formats specifically designed to enhance your Bible study experience. You can also go to MyStudyBible.com and dive right in for a complete digital experience.

This Bible has a retail price of $79.99 and features 15,000 study notes, 290 Hebrew and Greek word studies, 66 highly detailed book introductions, 62 maps, 27 topical articles, 20 charts, and 18 illustrations, all focusing on the most important topics and questions in Bible study.

The most wonderful time of the year is upon us. College football season starts next week. So to enter this week’s giveaway:

What is your favorite college football team?

The deadline to enter is midnight CDT this Saturday. We will draw one winner from the entries on Monday morning.

By entering, you acknowledge and accept the terms of the promotion.

Notable Voices – August 22, 2013

Healthy Churches are Messy — Sam Rainer

Sam explains why a healthy church is one with people in all stages of spiritual life. If everyone in your church is at the same point spiritually, something is definitely wrong.

 

Implement a Simple Disciple-Making Strategy: The 1st Pitfall to Avoid — Robby Gallaty

Robbie shares some pitfalls to avoid when forming a discipleship ministry and the importance of sticking with the plan you formulate.

 

The Spectacle of Preaching — Steve Bezner

People love a great show. Steve looks back on the London Olympics ceremonies and shares three principles to guide preaching to our digitally-drenched, spectacle-driven age.

 

10 Most Admired Qualities in Leadership Today — Ron Edmondson

Ron shares a list of ten qualities he has seen in the successful leaders today. The one I noticed which might not have always appeared in the list is compassion. There is a definite trend of leaders becoming more compassionate than they were in the past. Gone are the days of autocratic, abusive leaders.

 

Four Reasons Jesus’ Ascension Matters — Keith Whitfield

In this excerpt from The Gospel Project, Keith provides four reasons we should be encouraged when reading about and meditating on the ascension of Jesus.

 

Social Media for Ministry: 5 Steps Before You Run — Tiffany Deluccia

Churches are looking to use social media more than ever before. Here are five good principles to follow when implementing a social media strategy in your church or ministry.

 

Three Ingredients for an Evangelistic Church Culture — Michael McKinley

Evangelistic cultures are not always easy to develop in churches. Mike shares three ingredients that may help.

Why People Love Their Pastor: Three Observations and Seven Reasons

I returned to the Twitterverse to find out why church members love their pastors. I must admit that this exercise was very gratifying. In the somewhat cynical and critical world in which we live, the messages I received gave me great hope.

As I share in any Twitter poll, my approach is neither precise nor scientific. It is, however, fun and a bit informative.

Three Observations

Before you jump down and read the results of my survey, allow me to make some observations from this poll and other information I have gleaned. I delineate those observations into three points.

Church members overwhelmingly love their pastors. It was amazing to see both the quickness and the volume of responses to my simple question. Church members were eager to express their love for their pastors.
Church members often don’t express their love for their pastors. Church members are more likely not to say anything about their pastors than express their love for them. But if they are specifically asked, they respond with overwhelming love.
The critics and naysayers often drown out those who love their pastors. The negative people in the church tend to be loud but in the distinct minority. As a consequence, pastors often feel like the naysayers represent the majority. Most of the time, the vast majority of the members are very positive about their pastors, but they are quiet as well.

Seven Reasons

The response to my poll came in fast and furious. You could sense the strong love these church members have for their pastors. Why do you love your pastor? Here are the top seven responses, listed in order of frequency.

Our pastor loves us and others. A strong number one response, church members see the love that overflows from their pastor.
Our pastor preaches the Word and spends time studying the Word. Though stated in a number of ways, the respondents are grateful for the preaching and teaching ministry of their pastors.
Our pastor demonstrates love for his spouse and children. The members love their pastor because of the obvious priority of family demonstrated day after day.
Our pastor has a servant heart. I heard countless stories about the sacrificial and servant-like actions of pastors. Church members do notice.
Our pastor is humble and transparent. Many of the characteristics begin to sound like the traits of Christ. That’s a good thing!
Our pastor shares Christ with others. The evangelistic lifestyle and words of the pastors did not go unnoticed by the church members.
Our pastor is passionate about ministry. The words “passionate” and “passion” came up so many times, I had to include it as its own category.

Reasons for Encouragement and Hope

Many pastors are worn out and discouraged. I hope you pastors know that the critics and the naysayers in your church are in the minority. I hope you know that most of your congregation admires you and loves you. I hope these words from church members around the nation will be a source of encouragement and hope for you.

So, how do you pastors feel about these reasons you are loved? And what other reasons can you church members have to express your love for your pastors?

Ten Enemy Attacks on Leaders

By Chuck Lawless

For more than 15 years, I have studied the biblical reality of spiritual warfare. Many of my writings (e.g., Discipled Warriors, Putting on the Armor) address this topic evangelicals have often neglected. I regret that evangelicals have been afraid of this topic, because the Enemy is nevertheless real.

Recently, a church leader asked me what tactics I’ve seen the Enemy most use against leaders. In no particular order, here are the ten most common strategies I’ve seen.

Encouraging leaders to live in self-reliance. Most leaders are in leadership positions because they can lead. I realize that statement sounds obvious, but it’s strikingly important when thinking about spiritual warfare. Because most leaders can lead, they are always susceptible to leading in their own ingenuity and strength. Creativity and strategizing trump prayerful dependence on God . . . and the Enemy relaxes in glee.
Distracting leaders from their devotional life. Regardless of a leader’s position (whether church-based or secular), the Christian leader must lead from his knees. What the leader does when no one is looking – when he or she is alone with God in Bible study and prayer – matters much. At the same time, though, leadership demands focusing energy toward organizational plans and results. Who has time left for God?
Destroying the leader’s family.  Leaders tend to be task-driven more than people-driven. Rewards and recognition come from accomplishments rather than relationships. In fact, relationships are private and intimate, often uncomfortable for people who excel in the public arena. Leaders who lead their organizations while neglecting their families are not inviting spiritual warfare; they are already losing the battle.
Enticing leaders into email relationships. The Internet is a marvelous tool for leaders, but it’s also dangerous. It’s easier to talk about intimate issues across cyberspace, and flirting seems less risky. After all, “we’re not even together,” I’ve heard leaders say. The affairs that often develop, though, are no less damaging.
Drawing leaders into sexual sin. Needless to say, this strategy is at times related to the fourth one above – though not always. Leaders are by nature hard workers, and they at times wear themselves down physically and emotionally. Relationships are home are sometimes strained by workaholic tendencies.  That attentive person at work suddenly looks more attractive, and the Enemy’s trap is set.
Focusing leaders on their kingdom.  After all, leaders deserve attention and recognition, they think. They would not be in their positions were it not for their abilities and intelligence. If the organization they lead is not large enough, or if their name is not recognized quickly enough, it must be time to start looking for the proverbial “greener grass on the other side.” The distracted focus then weakens the leader in his or her current setting.
Isolating leaders in loneliness.  It happens all the time. The leader who looks so relational, so “together,” so popular is actually secluded and isolated. Those who long to walk in his shoes don’t realize his footsteps are lonely ones. By nature, though, leaders often choose not to reveal their weaknesses, and they remain alone. Men and women who fight battles on their own are destined for defeat in spiritual warfare.
Diverting a leader’s attention away from evangelism. It might seem that this strategy relates only to church leaders, but I don’t think so. All believers, regardless of their position, are to be Great Commission Christians. Leaders, in fact, may have as much opportunity as anyone to influence others with gospel truth. The Enemy is not alarmed when leaders focus more on their own goals than on the spiritual needs of others.
Encouraging leaders to live by comparison. Christian leaders have one person to emulate: Jesus Christ. It is the Enemy who directs a leader’s eyes to somebody else’s popularity, opportunities, and recognition. “I don’t understand why he gets all the attention,” the leader thinks, even if he never states that opinion publicly. “I know I could do better if I just had the opportunity.” The Enemy delights when somebody else’s fame becomes another leader’s idol.
Convincing a leader that failure won’t happen to him. It’s not hard to do, actually. Leaders are often leaders because they don’t accept failure and defeat. Others may give in, but not a true leader. Here’s what I’ve learned through the years: no leader expects to fail, and few recognize their own dangerous steps in the wrong direction. They come to their senses only after failure has cost them much.

Leaders, how have you seen the Enemy attack? If you’re a church leader, how might your church family help you to fight these battles effectively? Tell us how we can help leaders win.

Chuck Lawless currently serves as Professor of Evangelism and Missions and Dean of Graduate Studies at Southeastern Seminary.

You can connect with Dr. Lawless on both Twitter and Facebook.

The Number One Reason for the Decline in Church Attendance and Five Ways to Address It

Few people will argue that church attendance in many churches in America is declining. Our own research indicates that the majority of churches in our country are not growing.

Most of us have our own ideas why attendance is declining. Many have suggested that our nation is shifting away from its Christian roots, and thus the churches are declining as a smaller proportion of our country are believers in Christ.

I certainly will not argue with that premise. Certainly attendance declines are related to massive cultural shifts in our nation. But I would also suggest that one reason for declines has a greater impact than others.

The Frequency Issue

Stated simply, the number one reason for the decline in church attendance is that members attend with less frequency than they did just a few years ago. Allow me to explain.

If the frequency of attendance changes, then attendance will respond accordingly. For example, if 200 members attend every week the average attendance is, obviously, 200. But if one-half of those members miss only one out of four weeks, the attendance drops to 175.

Did you catch that? No members left the church. Everyone is still relatively active in the church. But attendance declined over 12 percent because half the members changed their attendance behavior slightly.

This phenomenon can take place rather quickly in an individual church. And leaders in the church are often left scratching their heads because the behavioral change is so slight, almost imperceptible. We really don’t notice when someone who attends four times a month begins to attend only three times a month. Nor do we typically catch it when the twice-a-month attendee becomes a once-a-month attendee.

Five Possible Approaches to the Problem

Of course, the heart of the problem is not declining numbers but waning commitment. As I addressed in my book, I Am a Church Member, church membership is becoming less and less meaningful in many churches. As membership becomes less meaningful, commitment naturally wanes.

While I don’t want to suggest there is a magic bullet to this problem, I do want to offer some approaches to address it. These five have proven to be the most helpful in hundreds of churches:

Raise the expectations of membership. You may be surprised how many church members don’t really think it’s that important to be an active part of the church. No one has ever told them differently.
Require an entry class for membership. By doing so, the church makes a statement that membership is meaningful. The class should also be used to state the expectations of what a committed member looks like.
Encourage ministry involvement. Many members become less frequent attendees because they have no ministry roles in the church. They do not feel like they are an integral part of the church.
Offer more options for worship times. Our culture is now a 24/7 population. Some members have to work during the times of worship services. If possible, give them options. One businessman recently told me that he changed congregations to a church that offered a Saturday worship time because his job required him to catch a plane on Sunday morning.
Monitor attendance of each member. This approach is often difficult, especially for worship attendance. That is why the traditional Sunday school approach of calling absentees was so effective. Perhaps churches can incorporate that approach in all groups. Members are less likely to be absent if they know someone misses them.

When Church Membership Becomes Meaningful

People want to be a part of something that makes a difference. They desire to be involved in something bigger than themselves.

Unfortunately, in many churches membership has become less and less meaningful. Until we get our churches back to the committed membership the Apostle Paul mandates in 1 Corinthians 12, we will continue to see declining attendance. But when membership becomes truly meaningful, our churches will become an unstoppable force for the Kingdom and glory of God.

Pray for Second Baptist Church

Location: Conway, AR

Pastor: Mark Dance

Worship times: 8:30 and 11:00 AM, Central Time

Fast Facts: Second Baptist Church is a 91 year old downtown church located 30 miles north of Little Rock. Second Baptist will repurpose its entire downtown campus into an evangelical ministry center when they relocate to a new campus in March of 2014.

Please pray for the church family.Through this transition, they desire to build unity within the church as well as expand the kingdom through conversion growth.

Also pray that the church and ministry center partners will effectively love their neediest neighbors in Conway and central Arkansas. Second Baptist members will welcome University of Central Arkansas freshmen to Conway by helping them move into their dorms today, August 18, in an event they call “Dorm Storm.” Pray for their contacts with these new students.

Website: www.2BC.tv

“Pray for . . .” is the Sunday blog series at ThomRainer.com. We encourage you to pray for these churches noted every Sunday. Please feel free to comment that you are praying as well.