Thom S. Rainer's Blog, page 334

Please Pray for Henry Blackaby and His Family

This morning we learned of an urgent prayer request for noted author and pastor Henry Blackaby. Dr. Blackaby lives in the Atlanta area and has been missing since yesterday. His son Richard tweeted this morning:

Please pray. Henry Blackaby has been missing since 4 p.m. Thursday. He is in black Lincoln without his diabetic medicine in Atlanta area

— Richard Blackaby (@richardblackaby) September 20, 2013

Those praying for Henry Blackaby. His credit card has been used within 6 miles of his home. Missing for 19 hours. Police continue to search

— Richard Blackaby (@richardblackaby) September 20, 2013

Henry Blackaby update: As of 12:30 Henry is still missing. Believed in the Atlanta area. Is Type 2 diabetic. No insulin. Please pray.

— Richard Blackaby (@richardblackaby) September 20, 2013

Please join me and the LifeWay family in praying for his safe return to his family, and for strength for his wife, Marilynn and his sons and other family.

Dr. Thom S. Rainer

President & CEO

LifeWay Christian Resources

Eight Areas Ministers Are Unprepared for Ministry — Rainer on Leadership #023

Podcast Episode #023

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I recently wrote a blogpost on the eight areas ministers are often unprepared for ministry. The post created quite a stir and brought with it a great discussion. These are areas almost all ministers will experience difficulty at some point in their careers. In this episode, we look over the points I mentioned in the post and expound on some of the issues involved.

Relational intelligence.
Leadership skills.
Dealing with critics.
Family matters.
Finances.
Consumer mentality.
Uneven expectations.
Uneven spiritual growth.

 

Episode Sponsor

This week’s podcast is brought to you by Ministry Grid. At MinistryGrid.com you’ll find more than 1,000 video sessions on topics, ranging from parking ministry to polity, with more added continually. You can even upload your own content, turn off unwanted content, and put your church’s own logo and colors on the site. An intuitive Learning Management System makes assigning courses and tracking progress a snap. It’s training made simple. For more information and to get three months free, visit ministrygrid.com.

Feedback

If you have a question you would like answered on the show, fill out the form on the podcast page here at ThomRainer.com. If we use your question, you’ll receive a free autographed copy of I Am a Church Member.

Resources

I Am a Church Member
Seven Things Pastors Would Like Church Members to Know about Their Children
Seven Things Pastors’ Wives Wish They Had Been Told Before They Became Pastors’ Wives

Friday Is for Freebies: I Am a Church Member

This week’s giveaway is a signed copy of my latest book I Am a Church Member.

Based on an idea originally taken from this blog, I Am a Church Member discusses the attitudes and responsibilities of church members. I address in detail what congregations should really be focusing on—praying for church leaders, being a functioning member, treasuring church membership, and more.

Six chapters with these titles include study questions to guide the discussion:

I Will Be a Unifying Church Member
I Will Not Let the Church Be About My Preferences and Desires
I Will Pray for My Church Leaders
I Will Lead My Family to Be Healthy Church Members
I Will Be a Functioning Member
I Will Treasure Church Membership as a Gift

Also included is the black, genuine leather version of the HCSB Study Bible, a comprehensive, easy to read, and easy to use Bible, with features and formats specifically designed to enhance your Bible study experience. You can also go to MyStudyBible.com and dive right in for a complete digital experience.

This Bible has a retail price of $79.99 and features 15,000 study notes, 290 Hebrew and Greek word studies, 66 highly detailed book introductions, 62 maps, 27 topical articles, 20 charts, and 18 illustrations, all focusing on the most important topics and questions in Bible study.

To enter the giveaway, tell us what kind of cell phone you have. iPhone? Android? Other?

The deadline to enter is midnight CDT this Saturday. We will draw five winners (one book per winner) from the entries on Monday morning.

By entering, you acknowledge and accept the terms of the promotion.

Notable Voices – September 19, 2013

Rick Warren on Guns, God and Son’s tragic Death — CNN

This week marked the first interview Rick Warren has given since the death of his son earlier this spring. The LifeWay Research data cited in this article at CNN continues to show mental health to be an area in need of addressing in the church.

 

Cause and Effect — Eric Geiger

According to our research, only one in four churches have a plan to intentionally train their leaders. Eric shares the connection between overall church health and the lack of leadership training in the local church.

 

Six Simple Ways We Can Change the Plight of Small & Rural Churches — Able Baker

Being a bivocational pastor or small-church pastor is often difficult financially. Able shares six ways to deal with the financial burden many pastors face.

 

Trapped: The Church Vocation Issue We Don’t Talk About — Gordon Atkinson

Occasionally I hear from pastors who feel trapped in their ministry role. It’s not that they don’t particularly enjoy ministry as much as they simply don’t know what else they would do. As a result, they feel trapped in their jobs. Gordon examines this issue and provides some thoughts on why this feeling is so pervasive.

 

The 12 People I Try to Avoid When Flying — Brad Lomenick

As an introvert, I try to avoid everyone when I’m flying. But I can easily relate to these 12 specific types of people.

 

Pro-Life Clinics as Missional Ministry — Dan Darling

There have been recent reports of more and more abortion clinics closing. While that is good news, we must not forget the gospel influence we can have on our community through pro-life clinics.

Seven Tips for Introverted Pastors

I have made no secret of my introversion. In fact, being open and honest about it has been a great relief to me. I think a number of people understand me better.

One gift I wish I had been given when I served as a pastor in four different churches was a mentor who would share with me how to function as an introverted pastor. I made a ton of mistakes! I hope my experiences, both bad and good, will prove to be meaningful to pastors today. I have written them in the form of seven tips.

You just have to mingle sometimes. I really don’t like small talk. When you mingle before or after a worship service or some other church event, you hear a lot of small talk. My temptation was always to avoid mingling so I could avoid such conversations. Unfortunately, pastors are perceived to be unfriendly and uncaring if they don’t mingle. Force yourself to get out among the members frequently for short periods of time.
You just have to counsel people sometimes. I avoided counseling for more than one reason. First, I never felt like I was equipped or trained to counsel. Second, I am task oriented with the temptation to advise someone on three easy steps to get their lives in orders. Third, my introversion pushes me away from conversations with people I don’t know well. But pastors can’t avoid all counseling. My counseling load tended to diminish over time because people left our sessions feeling worse than when they arrived.
You just have to attend a few social events. I’m probably wearing out the introverted pastor with these first three tips. But pastors who avoid all mingling, all counseling, and all social events tend to be viewed as impersonal and uncaring. While an introvert should never plan too much interaction, that pastor must be involved to some level.
Be transparent about your introversion. Church members will understand you better. Many will be more forgiving about some of the introvert’s more annoying traits. Some will identify with you and be glad you were willing to address your introversion publicly.
Use the power of social media to be your voice. Introverts don’t like small talk conversation, but they typically don’t mind writing. The more people can “see” you on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, or a blog, the more they will feel like they know you, even though you don’t have one-on-one interaction with them.
Be accountable to an extrovert. I still am today, even though I no longer serve as a pastor. He reminds me of when I am sinking into extreme introversion. He sees me when I don’t see myself. He tells me how my actions or lack of actions may be perceived.
Book time on your calendar to recover. If you have been expending lots of energy mingling, counseling, or socializing, you need some down time to recover. Put it on your calendar so you can be intentional about it. And for an hour or so, go to a place by yourself. Read, relax, or do nothing.  No one is there to talk to you for those minutes. Enjoy your blessed aloneness for a brief season.

Are you an introverted pastor? How do you handle your introversion in an extroverted world? How have other introverted pastors dealt with their situations?

10 Church Diseases

By Chuck Lawless

In the 1990s, Peter Wagner published The Healthy Church, a book describing several diseases that churches sometimes exhibit. Some of his descriptions are quite helpful (e.g., koinonitis = excessive, inward fellowship), and the list itself challenges readers to come up with their own descriptions.

Here are ten diseases I see as I consult with unhealthy churches around the country:

Community Disconnect Disease. Churches with this disease meet within a given community, but they do not know that community. Often, church members drive to the church building, meet as “church,” and then drive home—without ever taking note of a changing community around them. In fact, I’ve seen church members with this disease lock their doors as they drive through the community where their congregation gathers.
Methodological Arthritis. I give credit to my former student, Kevin Minchey, for naming this condition. The name says it all: this church is stuck in doing things the way they’ve always done them. Change (that is, movement) is painful, and it’s seemingly easier not to take a step forward. What these churches often don’t recognize is that standing still is also risky. Eventually, they will not move at all.
The “Grass is Greener” Syndrome. This syndrome is a malady of leaders who are always looking for the next church leadership position. They establish no roots, and their current congregation is only a stepping-stone to the next place. Because they are always looking elsewhere, they miss the present tense blessings of their ministry. And, though leaders think otherwise, a church often recognizes when its leader has this syndrome.
Professional Wrestling Sickness. I grew up watching professional wrestling (with my Church of God grandma, no less). Professional wrestling is hero vs. villain, right vs. wrong, good vs. evil—but it’s all fake. The church with PWS talks a good game in standing for righteousness, but hypocrisy is everywhere. And, as in professional wrestling, most spectators watching the show know it’s fake, too.
Program Nausea. Churches with Program Nausea try a program, toss it soon, and then quickly try the next one. They never have a settled “organizational stomach” and direction. Members of this kind of diseased church are so accustomed to change that they seldom invest in any program. Why should they invest in what will soon be spit out, too?
Baby Believer Malady. This congregation is doing evangelism well, but they have no strategy to grow new believers. Their unwritten, and wrong, assumption is, “As long as you show up for our small groups and worship service, you’ll grow.”  This church disciples poorly and often elevates leaders on the basis of attendance rather than spiritual maturity.
Theological Self-Deception Ailment. I am cautious here, lest I leave the impression that theology does not matter. No church with an unbiblical theology can be healthy. TSDA, on the other hand, is characterized by a belief that teaching theology is all that is required to be a healthy church. Teaching theology is critical, but a theology that does not lead to intentional evangelism, disciplemaking, and global missions is not biblical. Indeed, TSDA congregations tend to be classrooms more than New Testament churches.
“Unrecoverable Void” Syndrome.  Church leaders and laypersons alike suffer from this syndrome, characterized by statements like, “This church will close its doors after I’m gone.” Symptoms include spiritual arrogance and self-righteous anger, though they may also include hyper-spiritual speech  (“This is God’s church, and we’ll see what He does when I shake the dust off my feet”). Church members with UVS fail to realize that God’s church will go on without any of us.
Talking in Your Sleep Disease. You may recognize this church. They go through the motions, but the motions lack energy. They meet for worship, yet the singing is lifeless. Even the preaching is lackluster, as if the speaker is monotonously only meeting his obligation. Here is one way to recognize the church with TIYSD: many of the attenders really ARE sleeping!
Congregational Myopia. The congregation with this condition is nearsighted, focusing on themselves only. They have no vision for the future, and they fail to see that their current direction will likely lead to further disease and decline. Ask the leaders what their hope is for the church five years from now, and their description will sound strangely like the church in its current state.

What other diseases come to mind for you?

Give us a title and description, and we’ll provide a copy of my book, Discipled Warriors, and Dr. Rainer’s I Am a Church Member to the person who submits the most ingenious description by the end of the day on Wednesday.

Chuck Lawless currently serves as Professor of Evangelism and Missions and Dean of Graduate Studies at Southeastern Seminary.

You can connect with Dr. Lawless on both Twitter and Facebook.

A Prayer about Growing Old

Lord, teach me to grow old with greater joy every day.

Protect me from aging with bitterness and remorse.

Give me the grace to seek for others before myself.

Help me to learn even more the joy of being last.

Lord, teach me to grow old with fewer enemies and more friends.

Show me how to put aside petty differences.

Open my eyes to where I’m wrong and others are right.

Allow me to make peace with as many as I can.

Lord, teach me to grow old with more of Your wisdom.

Convict me to spend more time with You and Your Word.

Remind me to seek You with a passion unlike any I’ve had.

Teach me even more how to rest in You and You alone.

Lord, teach me to grow old with a greater love for my family.

Show me that I can still be a better husband.

Teach me that I can still be a dad to grown sons.

And let me wallow in the pure joy of grandchildren.

Lord, teach me to grow old and listen more carefully.

Let me learn how to hear the hopes, hurts, and dreams of others.

Teach me to go slower that I might notice those hurting around me.

And in my slower pace, show me how to help and give to those in pain and need.

Lord, teach me to grow old recognizing even more the brevity of life.

Help me not to hold on to the things of this world.

Give me the insight and strength not to fear dying and death.

And give me clarity and hope about soon seeing You face to face.

And in adding all of these things Lord, I pray that I will be able to say:

“I have not lived my life in vain.”

Even when I am old and gray God, do not abandon me. Then I will proclaim Your power to another generation, Your strength to all who are to come. (Psalm 71:18, HCSB)

Pray for Lion City Church

Location: Florence, AL

Pastor: Ryan Melson

Worship Time: 6:00 PM Central Time

Fast Facts: Lion City is a very young church plant on the campus of the University of North Alabama. Their desire is to reach college students and a community not being reached by traditional churches. Their gathering, called “The Hangover,” is a departure from traditional Sunday morning services times. Their website states, “Even if you are too hung over for Sunday morning, we want you to come hang out with us.” They offer a non-judgmental Sunday night option, no matter how or where folks spent their Saturday night.

Please pray for the church as they work to establish trust and relationships on the campus. Also pray as they begin life groups.

Website: www.lioncitylh.com

“Pray for . . .” is the Sunday blog series at ThomRainer.com. We encourage you to pray for these churches noted every Sunday. Please feel free to comment that you are praying as well.

If you would like to have your church featured in the “Pray for…” series, download this information form and return it to the address on the form.

Five Steps to Help a Pastor Respond When a Member Leaves the Church

Every pastor knows the feeling. The news may have come via email, telephone, or second-hand conversation. In some cases, the person or persons themselves told you face-to face. They are leaving your church. They may already have another church to join, or they may just be beginning the search process.

But their decision is irrevocable. It is final. You cannot persuade them otherwise.

You feel like you’ve been kicked in the gut. You try to tell yourself not to take it personally, but you do anyway. You don’t understand. You are wounded. Many times you are blindsided by their decisions.

I cannot change the reality that most pastors will experience the exodus of church members. I cannot promise that you will have a new emotional state. But I do pray that the five steps I offer will help you deal with this matter better.

Pray immediately when you hear about the decision. The God we serve is the God of all comfort. He is the God of all wisdom. He knows our hurts and concerns even before we voice them. Before you do anything else, pray.
Talk to the exiting church members. If they are willing, have a conversation with those who are leaving your church. Listen more than speak. Don’t be defensive. Some of the words they say may bring you pain, but allow them to speak and vent if necessary. Before the conversation ends, tell them that you will bless them in their new church. Have prayer with them, a sincere prayer for God’s best for them.
Accept their decision. It is sometimes hard to accept that not all church members agree with our leadership and our church’s ministry. But there is no pastor, past or present, who will make every member happy. As hard as it is to accept, some church members will actually do better under leadership other than yours.
Make corrections if needed. When I was a pastor, I listened to exiting church members tell me why they were leaving. It was almost always painful, but it was often helpful. I asked God to help me not be defensive, and to help me listen carefully to any area where I could make corrections. You know what? I sometimes learned that I could really improve areas of my ministry and life. I became a better person and a better pastor as a consequence.
Write a nice letter about the exiting members. When I could do so in good conscience, I wrote a letter about the exiting members and gave it to them to give to their next pastor. Here is a portion of one of my letters written many years ago: Dear pastor. John and Mary Smith have chosen to join your church. May I be straightforward? Your church will be incredibly blessed by their presence and ministry. Our church was. I am grieving over their departure, but they have explained their reasons, and I accept them. Indeed, I plan to make some changes as a result of our conversations together. You will be amazed how God uses both of them in your church. John and Mary are two of the finest and godliest people I know. May God bless you and them as you grow in Christ together through the ministry of ABC Church.

Pastoral ministry has great challenges, and exiting church members are certainly among those challenges. But you can turn a difficult situation into a blessing if their departure is handled well. And you can possibly learn some lessons to prevent some others from leaving in the future.

What do you think of these five steps? What do you do when members leave your church?

Listener Question Extravaganza — Rainer on Leadership #022

Podcast Episode #022

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I am so thankful for the feedback and interest we’ve seen from the podcast. On this week’s show, we answer a host of listener questions. Today’s questions range from church membership to pastoral succession, to interim pastors, to recruiting volunteers, to church hopping.

As always, if you have a question you would like answered on the show, fill out the form on the podcast page here at ThomRainer.com. If we use your question, you’ll receive a free autographed copy of I Am a Church Member.

Listener Questions

Sylvia asks: Why don’t more churches take note and intentionally take time to teach church members what ‘membership’ entails and why it is important that each person invests personal time to learn how to be a viable member within the church walls that would translate itself into mission work in the city, state, and beyond?

Bruce asks: I am the associate pastor at a church where our pastor just accepted a call to another church. The reaction of the elders and deacons has totally surprised me as the power plays and self-centered agendas are coming forward. My question is, how does a staff member keep the church moving forward in the midst of such a situation?

Mark asks: Our current pastoral team is made up of two older pastors in their 60s and two younger pastors in their 30s. While we have a great team, we are beginning to plan for the next season in the life of our church. What are some general principles for thinking about pastoral succession? When is it wise to begin that process? Should the leader emerge from within the church or be sought outside the church?

Sylvia asks: How you transition from being an interim to being a full time pastor of the same church?

Tom asks: After so many new members have joined the church, what is the best way to go back and orient them to a deeper, better, biblical understanding of church membership?

Norberto asks: Is the pastor the main administrator of the church?

David asks: We are a small church where we have more needs than we do volunteers. How do I shift the few folk who want to see things happen, but don’t want to lift a finger to help?

Rob asks: As a senior leader in the church it is always difficult to see people leave the church…for any reason. Is there such a thing as righteous anger when someone leaves?

Sunil asks: How do you deal with church hoppers or church shoppers?

Episode Sponsor

This week’s episode is brought to you by Bible Studies for Life. Every church offers Bible studies, but where are those studies leading people over time? Bible Studies for Life follows a research validated discipleship plan that lets you rest assured knowing you have a wise approach to guiding your people to greater maturity in Christ. Find out more at BibleStudiesForLife.com.