Lisa Daily's Blog, page 21

The New Science of Love: How Understanding Your Brain’s Wiring Can Help Rekindle Your Relationship

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"Enlightening…insightful…understandable."

-Paul E. Bendheim, MD

Your brain is the heart of love.



Did you know that you already own some cutting-edge tools for creating deep, lasting change? They're available to you anytime and anywhere-and they're inside your head. Dr. Fran Cohen Praver will show you how to access these tools and literally use your brain to help bring back love. By understanding a few ways your mind works, you can take advantage of its phenomena and strength to create change in your relationship-by creating change in yourself. Discover the inspirational program that pulls the latest neuroscience from the laboratory into a powerful idea you can use at home-and in your heart.

Relationship Control Freaks

Relationship Control Freaks by Lisa Daily

In many relationships, one person is more dominant or controlling than the other, the boss of the house, and that’s just fine with everybody. But many times, the person being controlled resents being told what to do, or feels powerless or scared to stand up to their partner’s controlling behavior. On Daytime this week, I’m talking about how to recognize relationship control freaks, and how to neutralize them.



What is real controlling behavior versus perceived control?

Real controlling behavior is when one partner uses threats, anger, fights, money, sex or manipulation to force their partner into behaving a certain way. Perceived control happens when one partner refuses to speak up for their own interests, even when asks, but blames the other. An example might be if you ask your husband what movie he wants to see. He replies with “anything is fine” or “I don’t really care” or “It’s up to you” but then later, he’ll get upset with you or tell you “We always have to do what you want to do, I NEVER get to pick the movie I want to see.” This is not evidence of you being controlling.  This is evidence of your partner refusing to participate and then blaming you for it.

What kinds of people try to control others?

It depends on the level of control. Some people are natural born leaders and are just used to being “in charge.” Others are first born siblings married to youngest children, who end up reverting (often comfortably and happily) to the same power structure they grew up with. (Julie’s in charge.) Others feel very much out of control, or are operating out of anger, jealousy or insecurity — and they try try to control their partner in a way that is harmful to both.

How do you recognize controlling behavior?

If you find yourself avoiding certain things (friends, clothes, things you like to do) because you don’t want to face the fallout when you get home, you are most likely on the receiving end of controlling partner. A number of studies have also linked controlling behavior to a higher incidence of physical abuse as well as infidelity.

What should you do if feel you are being controlled?

It’s important to remember that people can only treat you as poorly as you allow them to. You are the person who sets the tone for how the world and the people who claim to love you will treat you. You are not powerless. You can leave. (And you should, immediately, if you or your children are in physical danger.) You can refuse to comply. You can make your own money or file for financial relief from the courts. You can decide.

Your needs and wants are just as valid as your partner’s. You have the right to have the friends you choose, to wear what you want, to live free from fear, to say no to sex, and to make decisions about your household finances (even if your spouse earns all the money.)

People always think that if they stand up to a bully that the bully will attack them even more, but that’s not true. Bullies and control freaks are usually looking for an easy target — and if you stand up for yourself, most of the time they’ll back down.

xo,

 

You may also need: Controlling behavior, and impulse control issues like a quick temper, excessive drinking or gambling are often connected to infidelity. Beware of the warning signs listed in Is He Cheating?

 

(c) Copyright 2001-2013 by Lisa Daily. All Rights Reserved. Plus me on Google, won’t you please? Thanks!

The Loveologist Guide To Understanding Cheating

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If you want a “no holds barred” eBook jam packed with information about cheating with no judgment – this is for you. With 140 pages of secrets on cheating men, cheating women, cheating defined and cheating preventions all backed up by LU’s original cheating survey report that over 1000 people participated in. The Loveologist Guide to Understanding Cheating is for anyone who wants to stop cheating, avoid cheating, become a great lover and enjoy a healthy relationship.

Coping With Infidelity – Tips For Dealing With The Other Person

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Every extramarital affair involves a third party. Recovering from infidelity is difficult enough without having to deal with the other person. This is a tactical guide to help you understand a little more about the third party dynamic and give you steps to take to know exactly what your faced with.

Leigh Richwood shares more of her story in this insightful book and gives the details of the mistakes she made while trying to deal with her husband's other woman. Perhaps one of the most important sections is where Leigh explains in detail what you should NOT do.

I Love You Coupons

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Here are 44 ways guaranteed to put a smile on your lover’s face:

–With this coupon, you get a non-stop body kiss from the top of your head to the tips of your toes.



–Present this coupon any time you want me to drop everything and make love to you.

Stop Being the String Along: A Relationship Guide to Being THE ONE

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Stop Being the String Along: A Relationship Guide to Being THE ONE will guide you to: * Authentically empower yourself in your romantic relationships * Become your own best friend * Have authentic communication * Learn how to never settle again * Take the manipulative games out of your relationships * Attract a partner that is a fantastic match for you * Learn how to spiritually evolve in a Sacred Relationship * End negative patterns in your relationship * Learn 50 reasons to stay in a relationship * Learn 50 reasons to leave skid marks * Uproot negative programming that has kept you stuck in String Along misery * Learn what it takes to finally get it right In her groundbreaking book Stop Being the String Along, Barbara Rose states: "Give me ten minutes and I can tell you if you are destined to being a string along or THE ONE for the rest of your life!" Rose does this by identifying the "string along warning signs." We all have string along messages thrown onto us that have been imprinted within our subconscious minds. It is in identifying them, and bringing them out into our conscious awareness that turns a string along into THE ONE. You can know every trick in the book about catching someone, subtlety coercing them, and playing a host of games to get what you want, but if you are subconsciously being the string along you will never succeed in a relationship, and even if you do get married, it will most likely not last! The great news is that now you can easily uncover the old string along programming and create authentic, thriving relationship success. If you are not doing as well in your relationship as you would like, you will have to uproot your subconscious string along messages. Unfortunately your current string along messages will tend to stay with you for the rest of your life, unless you identify and revise them, and that's exactly what you will do with the help of this extraordinary book. According to Barbara Rose, it's simple. If you think like THE ONE thinks and do what THE ONE does, chances are you'll be THE ONE too!

My young adult novel, BEAUTY, is published in Finland!

It’s called “Skjønnheten kommer innenfra” — catchy, right? There’s more here:

One interesting thing about this title is that in the US, BEAUTY is one book, but in Finland (Norway, Sweden, and a handful of others) they’ve split in into two books, like this:

xo,

 

 

 

 

My young adult novel, BEAUTY, is published in Finland! by Lisa Daily (c) Copyright 2012 by Lisa Daily. All Rights Reserved.

Plus me on Google, darling, would you please? Thanks!

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Straight Talk, No Chaser: How to Find, Keep, and Understand a Man

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In the New York Times bestseller Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man—the basis for the #1 box office smash—Steve Harvey gave millions of women around the globe insight into what men really think about love, intimacy, and commitment. In Straight Talk, No Chaser, he zeroes in on what motivates men and provides tips on how women can use that knowledge to get more of what they need out of their relationships, whether it's more help around the house or more money in the joint savings account. Harvey also shares invaluable information on: • How to minimize nagging and maximize harmony at home

• Dating tips for women in their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, and beyond

• What men think about "intimidating women"

Drawing on a lifetime of experience and the feedback women have shared with him in reaction to Act Like a Lady, media personality, philanthropist, and (finally) happily married man Steve Harvey proves once again—with his trademark wit and no-nonsense honesty—that he is the ultimate guide to understanding what men think when they think about women.

Intimacy After Infidelity: How to Rebuild and Affair-Proof Your Marriage

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A Guide to Rebuilding Trust and Intimacy

It's devastating to discover that the person you trust the most has betrayed you. You'll be facing some hard questions after learning of your partner's infidelity. You may choose to rebuild your relationship, or you may decide to move on. Whatever the right decision is for you, this book will help you figure out why your partner betrayed you and decide whether you can remain in your relationship. It will also show you new ways to relate that can help you and your partner become a lasting, loving, and committed couple.



You'll start by taking a look at the phenomenon of infidelity and the three types of intimacy: self-intimacy, conflict intimacy, and affection intimacy. Then you'll learn about the three kinds of infidelity—those of fear, of loneliness, and of anger—and what each reveals about your relationship. Then it's on to practical exercises that can heal emotional wounds and enable you to recover your ability to trust. Even if you decide not to remain with your current partner, the book will help you make wise relationship choices to "affair-proof" your future relationship.

Cranky and Single: Not Enough Sleep a Leading Cause of Relationship Breakups.

Cranky and Single: Not enough sleep a leading cause of relationship breakups by Lisa Daily

A new study at the University of California at Berkeley found that people who didn’t get enough sleep had a harder time appreciating their partner.

“Poor sleep may make us more selfish,” says UC Berkeley psychologist Amie Gordon.

That’s not all.  A UK study commissioned by BBC Channel 4 linked poor sleep to as many as one-third of divorces and splits.  And 30% of splitting couples cited sleep deprivation (particularly in relation to young children) as a leading factor in the break-up of their relationship.

As a light sleeper who’s been attempting unsuccessfully forever to slumber nestled next to a world class snorer, I can personally attest to the fact that not only does a lack of sleep make you cranky, less appreciative, and even selfish — it makes you bat shit crazy.

I will not confess how many times I’ve fantasized about covering my loved one’s face in Breathe Right strips as he honked and rumbled away at 10,000 decibels. Or how many nights I’ve ended up on the couch with the dog after hours of eyeing my alarm clock like it was the countdown timer on a nuclear device, or how many (dozen) times I’ve poked him in the ribs on any given Saturday night, pleading with him to please just roll over.

You know what REALLY makes me nuts?  When I spend the whole night awake, listening to him snoring, and the next day when I’m all bleary-eyed and hallucinating from lack of REM sleep, and he says, “Wow, I really didn’t sleep well last night -AT ALL.”

So yes, I can tell you that I’m crankier, quicker to anger, more likely to eat junk food, more likely to get a migraine headache, and far less patient when I don’t get a good night’s sleep. Most of us are.

My guess is that it’s a Maslow’s hierarchy of needs thing — sleep is essential, like food and water.  If we don’t get it, we can kiss those higher level needs, like self-actualization and not feeling a desire to hurl dishware, goodbye.

xo,

 

Are you having a tough time getting to sleep because you’re worried he might be cheating? This might help: Is He Cheating?

 

(c) Copyright 2001-2013 by Lisa Daily. All Rights Reserved. Plus me on Google, darling, would you please? Thanks!