Todd Perelmuter's Blog, page 35
September 13, 2023
How Can Mindfulness Help in Saving Money
Q: Dear Todd, how can mindfulness help in saving money?
TODD ANSWERS: When we are fully present, we make smarter decisions because we are not off somewhere else.
Saving money, investing money, and working towards some goal, all happen in the here and now.
When we give this moment our full attention, we naturally create a better future. Like a squirrel who gathers nuts for the winter, we too know instinctually without thinking that we need to save money, we need to acquire a certain amount of resources to live well, and we need to spend wisely.
If we live in the future, we can neglect our duties of the moment. We still need to use the time to schedule future meetings, make plans, etc… But we don’t need to let time use us and make us miserable or obsess about the past and future to the point that we miss out on the present.
And when we do it properly, we make plans with presence, we schedule future appointments with mindfulness, and in this way, we don’t sacrifice the present for tomorrow.
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Should You Have Moral Qualms About Killing Mosquitoes?
Q: Dear Todd, I want to ask you a question that literally is torturing me in my head and heart related to animals. I always have lived in an apartment in a city. One year ago, I finally moved to a small village in the mountains. Since I am here I can sleep like a decent human being, so grateful for that.
Behind the house, there is a quite big pond with some stuck waters where birds and insects live. I put mosquito nets in all windows and doors that connect with the exterior. The number of mosquitos and flies entering the house has reduced approx. 80% but still some come in, especially at night.
I hate and reject the idea of killing any type of animal including insects, I know they have souls. BUT… at night while sleeping I have been bitten by mosquitos several times and twice in the eye which could have complicated a severe health problem.
Now, before going to bed, if I see a mosquito in the bedroom I kill him. And pray for him to shift to a better life. But, I feel terrible. I am not at peace within me because of this. I am realizing that I am going to bed every night feeling bad about myself. Please, any comments or advice or reflections?
TODD ANSWERS: My dear friend, I hear the troubles these mosquitoes are causing you and can definitely relate from some of my own travels through the jungle. What I will say is this, there is certainly no need to feel terrible. Also, it doesn’t do any good. Does the mosquito feel guilty for drinking your blood, disturbing your sleep, and risking your health? Of course not. This is the law of the jungle: eat or be eaten. It isn’t cruel, it isn’t me vs them.
It is the whole of life, working together towards reaching higher states of consciousness.
Like the indigenous tribes have shown us when they hunt a bison. They love the bison, they tell the bison, “I got you in this life brother, you will get me in the next.” We don’t have to feel bad, but we can still give these bugs the reverence they deserve. We can do what needs to be done mindfully, respectfully, and with restraint when need be. This is the way of compassion — compassion towards yourself and compassion for those buzzing pesky little annoying beautiful souls.
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Path to Peace Recovery from Codependency and Codependent Relationships
When we grow up in chaotic homes, it’s not uncommon to develop anxiety and insecurity that can lead to codependency in our relationships. Codependent relationships, where one person is doing all the work, can take a tremendous toll on our well being.
In today’s podcast, I talk about what codependency can look like, why it happens, and what we can do to break the cycle, heal and move forward in healthy and loving relationships.
Please enjoy other episodes where I share meditation techniques, tips and spiritual lessons from around the world for peaceful and stress-free living. Remember to subscribe to stay up-to-date.
One small positive message can uplift our day. Get your dose of positivity at https://www.youtube.com/toddperelmuter
Like what I’m doing? Support the show at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/toddperel.
I answer spiritual questions from people on my weekly Path to Peace newsletter. Join the community of like-minded beautiful souls right at https://www.eastwesticism.org
You can find my books on Amazon, Audible, BarnesandNoble.com, and anywhere else you get your books.
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September 12, 2023
Letting Go of Grudges And Resentment: Here’s How
Q: Dear Todd, How Can I Get Over my Grudges?
Giving love and forgiveness to others is the greatest gift you can ever give to yourself.
When we love and forgive others, we do not lose anything. We in fact gain peace of mind, joyousness, and greater physical and mental health. The more joy and love within you, the more joy and love you put into the world and the more joy and love will come back to you.
This doesn’t mean you invite your tormentor over for dinner or put yourself in danger. You can love and forgive someone from a safe distance and without ever even seeing or talking to them. Hatred and grudges are things you carry with you. Loving and forgiving is simply letting go.
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September 10, 2023
Why I Suddenly Lost the Peace & Joy I Once Had
Todd Answers: You are certainly not alone in that! We all have natural cycles of energy and downtime, highs and lows. Sometimes they’re natural cycles and sometimes they are caused by external situations and factors.
No need to worry, stress, or add anxiety to the cycle. Just do your best to be able to watch all these emotional states play out. Watch them come and go. Try not to distract yourself from them too much (with work, food, entertainment, whatever we all do to distract ourselves) and you will more quickly let the down cycle play out. Sit with it, stay with it, and release it.
The joy comes back! Promise.
Q: Dear Todd, a little over a year ago, I had what I can only describe as a SPIRITUAL AWAKENING, and after it I had this profound feeling of complete bliss. Unfortunately, I have lost that feeling and gratitude and have been on a search to find it again. Any thoughts?Todd Answers: Whether it’s a near-death experience or just a good spiritual book, a lot of people have had similar realizations only to lose them later.
The key is a daily practice like meditation was for me. If the practice is continued regularly, the quality of experience one has will be subtly increased every single day. Otherwise, those memories of the book or experience, like everything else, will fade. With practice, living in that way can become a habit.
Q: Dear Todd, I feel I have no joy at the moment in my life. I need to get it back. What can I do?Todd Answers: We can’t always change how we are feeling but we can change how we feel about how we are feeling. So, if instead of wishing for happiness, we could become happy with sadness (what I mean by that is completely accepting and embracing how we are feeling instead of resisting and trying to escape), then we naturally bring happiness into our lives.
Realizing you are already complete and whole and that nothing needs to change, allows for contentment and joy to reenter more easily.
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September 9, 2023
Are We Experiencing the Universe or Just the Earth?
Todd Answers: Haha, let’s hope you do not experience a violent supernova too closely. Even though we do not feel the heat of the surface of the sun, we can experience the sun’s rays from afar. We can understand that we, our sun, and our planet are made from the ashes of previous supernovas.
We can feel a sense that our own solar system will be consumed by a supernova and we too will become the building blocks of some distant planet and life forms.
To experience something does not mean only with the five senses. The senses can merely observe our physical reality. Our greater understanding and wisdom can see the interconnected, interdependent oneness of all things.
A fish may not know there is water between it and the rest of the ocean, but nonetheless, it is one with the ocean.
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September 6, 2023
Feeling Low? Here’s What to Do
Sometimes the flowers bloom, and sometimes they whither. Bears play, and other times they hibernate. Everything in the universe is governed by the natural cycles. We are no different. Sometimes we humans are up, and sometimes we’re low. More on how we can make peace with where we are in life, how to get where we want to go, and how to see the limitless choices that are available to us in this video.
What is different about humans though is that we suffer these cycles. Instead of just being low, we wish we were high. We resist these natural cycles, try to outmaneuver them, and bend them to our will. We will fight, push back, and plow through the low moments in our lives. How exhausting!
Whenever you’re feeling low, see if you can find the part of you that is fighting it. Maybe it’s in our frown lines, or tension in our back and shoulders. Wherever it is, just notice and allow it.
Now look to your thoughts and see what the mental story is surrounding this feeling. Take your time doing this. Consciously remember that we go through these natural cycles. Allow nature to flow instead of fighting it. Here’s what we can do to change that inner voice in our head from a critic to our best and wisest friend.
All that energy we wasted on anger, frustration, sadness and worry about this low feeling, can be reclaimed and can restore us. When we accept our circumstances, and when we make peace with our suffering, then we can transform them.
ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Isn’t it amazing that we all have this drive to love and be loved. Somewhere inside us, a flickering candle burns, longing to spread like wildfire. There’s romantic love, self-love, friend and familial love, but above all, there is universal love — love for all beings. If we start with universal love, all the other loves fall naturally into place.
May we be peaceful and wise. May we awaken for the benefit of all beings. May we be a beacon of light for the world. May we love each other as one. And let’s not forget to enjoy the highs and lows of this beautiful, crazy, mystery, adventure, romcom of life.
Much love,
Todd
PS – Every single one of us has a little spark of rage inside us at all times. If that spark gets fanned and fueled just right, it can blow up into a wildfire. If we let our little frustrations build up like kindling, and then we throw in a match lit by a barista that got our order wrong, AND we’re already late for work, look out. In this video, I discuss why we get angry, how to see it coming, and how we can nip it in the bud.
Other spiritual topics to explore:
The Spiritual Answer to Procrastination Problem
What if Others’ Bad Habits Disturb Your Inner Peace
How to Help Others Without Suffering for Their Sufferings
Maintaining Inner Peace When Dealing with Toxic Customers
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September 3, 2023
How to Practice Non-Attachment When Living with Families
Q: Dear Todd, I understand the attachment/pain, we all die in the end, but how can you not be attached to your loved ones/family, etc? How to practice non-attachment as a family person?
Todd Answers: I know it seems strange at first, but the more we examine it, the more we will find that love without possessiveness or clinginess is a far greater and more powerful love. This is truly unconditional love.
When we love with attachment, we love with stress and anxiety too, constantly worrying, even
if it’s imperceptible. This subconscious stress is subconsciously perceived by the people we love and it can create an atmosphere of stress and tension.
With mindfulness, we will see that detached love is even more generous and caring. There is no fear or negativity that comes with this kind of love. I know in our current culture, especially Western culture which tries to hide death from the living, this kind of love can seem strange. And I don’t mean to suggest that there should be no feelings of sadness when we lose a loved one. But with mindfulness, we will see our sadness is more about our loss than the person we lost.
With mindfulness, we will feel all of the emotions of loss, fully and deeply, but we won’t become lost in our feelings. We will feel and think about our loved ones consciously and intentionally. We will remember that all pain of loss comes from feelings of love and joy we had with that person, and so in this way, we won’t simply get swept away by the grief, but we will be able to sit with it, sit with joy as well, and be at peace.
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September 2, 2023
How to Deal with Negative People Without Losing Your Peace
Q: Dear Todd, I find that I can be very loving and relaxed if I am not in a company that easily pulls my strings like low-paid jobs where everyone must go if they don’t have other jobs to get money for living and then there are often people that have learned to be so mean and bring others down. I guess it’s a learning experience but it feels like darkness taking over all the light. Any thoughts?
Todd Answers: It’s not easy to rise above the mud, but like the lotus flower, so too can we. I know how hard it can be firsthand to be stuck around negative people at low-paying jobs or to feel disappointed in humanity. But, the more mindful we become of the beauty and majesty in this world (of which there is no limit), the less impact words or the actions of others have on us.
The more mindful and present we become, the less automated and robotic jobs become. The more we can just observe whatever is happening around us without internal resistance or conflict, the more we can witness life instead of feeling like life is happening to us. It’s like being lost in a film, but we just turn our heads around to look at the projector, and suddenly what’s on screen doesn’t matter so much.
In this way, we can observe our own awareness, we can witness ourselves, and can step back and see the bigger picture with a broader and wider perspective.
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September 1, 2023
Path to Peace Which One Habit Can Improve Self Love?
We all want love. We love love. But there is no one who can love us harder or more intimately than ourselves. So how do we love ourselves? Why are we so hard on ourselves? What even is self love? Is it a spa day, a doughnut, or a new pair of shoes?
In today’s podcast, I explore the most important thing we can do to change that inner voice in our head from a critic to our best and wisest friend. I discuss what is at the root of self hatred, and how we can plant the seeds of self love and compassion in our mind, and how those seeds can blossom into a beautiful friendship.
Please enjoy other episodes where I share meditation techniques, tips and spiritual lessons from around the world for peaceful and stress-free living. Remember to subscribe to stay up-to-date.
One small positive message can uplift our day. Get your dose of positivity at https://www.youtube.com/toddperelmuter
Like what I’m doing? Support the show at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/toddperel.
I answer spiritual questions from people on my weekly Path to Peace newsletter. Join the community of like-minded beautiful souls right at https://www.eastwesticism.org
You can find my books on Amazon, Audible, BarnesandNoble.com, and anywhere else you get your books.
The post Path to Peace Which One Habit Can Improve Self Love? appeared first on EastWesticism.
