Todd Perelmuter's Blog, page 38

Path to Peace My Story of Grief

Recently, my family was stuck with that most tragic of news that every family receives but no one ever expects. A few weeks ago, we got the call that one of the closest people in my life has been diagnosed with late-stage terminal cancer.

So, how does someone who teaches about spirituality grieve? Do they grieve? What does loss look like to someone who teaches non-attachment and impermanence? In today's podcast, I share my story of grief and loss, how spirituality has been my rock and guiding light in these dark times, and how we can all prepare for, and survive, these most challenging of times.

Please enjoy other episodes where I share meditation techniques, tips and spiritual lessons from around the world for peaceful and stress-free living. Remember to subscribe to stay up-to-date.

One small positive message can uplift our day. Get your dose of positivity at https://www.youtube.com/toddperelmuter

Like what I’m doing? Support the show at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/toddperel.

I answer spiritual questions from people on my weekly Path to Peace newsletter. Join the community of like-minded beautiful souls right at https://www.eastwesticism.org

You can find my books on Amazon, Audible, BarnesandNoble.com, and anywhere else you get your books.

The post Path to Peace My Story of Grief appeared first on EastWesticism.

Path to Peace How to Get Out of My Comfort Zone and Be Content?

 A healthy amount of fear is good. It prevents us from taking a selfie too close to the edge of a cliff. But when fear goes beyond protecting us from danger, that's when fear becomes dangerous. When it morphs into protecting us from the slightest discomfort, then fear can become our prison.

Fear is an insidious monster that can take over our entire lives if we're not careful. It can turn every window of opportunity into a locked door. It can paralyze us, stunt our growth, and prevent us from living a full life.

So how do we overcome fear? How do we find comfort in the uncomfortable? And how can we both try new things, work to achieve big dreams, but still be happy with what we have right now? I answer all these questions and more in today's podcast.

Please enjoy other episodes where I share meditation techniques, tips and spiritual lessons from around the world for peaceful and stress-free living. Remember to subscribe to stay up-to-date.

One small positive message can uplift our day. Get your dose of positivity at https://www.youtube.com/toddperelmuter

Like what I’m doing? Support the show at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/toddperel.

I answer spiritual questions from people on my weekly Path to Peace newsletter. Join the community of like-minded beautiful souls right at https://www.eastwesticism.org

You can find my books on Amazon, Audible, BarnesandNoble.com, and anywhere else you get your books.

The post Path to Peace How to Get Out of My Comfort Zone and Be Content? appeared first on EastWesticism.

Path to Peace Will Believing in Oneness Make Me an Atheist?

Whether a person is religious or an atheist, it is common to wonder if spirituality, Buddhism,  yoga or meditation go against their beliefs. Some worry they are sinning or that they will be punished in some way. And still others fear this will lead them into atheism.

So, does oneness conflict with any religions? Is it compatible with no religion? Does is clash with science?  And can I keep my old beliefs but still meditate and explore these deeper dimensions within myself? I answer these questions and more in today's podcast.

Please enjoy other episodes where I share meditation techniques, tips and spiritual lessons from around the world for peaceful and stress-free living. Remember to subscribe to stay up-to-date.

One small positive message can uplift our day. Get your dose of positivity at https://www.youtube.com/toddperelmuter

Like what I’m doing? Support the show at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/toddperel.

I answer spiritual questions from people on my weekly Path to Peace newsletter. Join the community of like-minded beautiful souls right at https://www.eastwesticism.org

You can find my books on Amazon, Audible, BarnesandNoble.com, and anywhere else you get your books.

The post Path to Peace Will Believing in Oneness Make Me an Atheist? appeared first on EastWesticism.

When There is No Hope Left, Do This

Hope is a funny thing. We like it, we crave it, and we feel we need it. But when things don’t go as we hoped, we suffer. Getting our hopes up and to have them crushed, over and over again, can be agonizing. So, what are we to do?

The problem with hope is that wanting it causes our feelings of hopelessness. When we focus on what we want, all we are really doing is thinking about what we don’t have. If we spend ten minutes wishing for hope, we’re really spending ten minutes thinking about our hopelessness. This makes us feel empty, incomplete, and like there is something wrong with us.

The truth is, we will all go through these feelings of hope and hopelessness. The key is to watch these feelings, accept that they’re there, and even do the craziest thing imaginable — accept hopelessness. Totally embrace it. Say to yourself, “Good, I am hopeless right now. Let’s explore this.”

Everything can be faced with courage and curiosity. The sooner we face it, the sooner we deal with it. The key is to shift our mindset from hope about some future outcome, to hope and how it feels right here in the present moment. By separating hope from outcomes, we can discover that the source of hope does not lie in the future or in some external circumstance. It comes from within. 

By embracing whatever is happening in the moment (this doesn’t mean not acting, it only means not building up internal stress and resistance), we can transform any negative emotion into peaceful understanding. The more we do this, the more we can trust in our ability to face any challenge that comes our way, and the more natural and effortless it will be to remain hopeful in the future. There is a recent podcast I recorded on how to handle emotional outburts, you might find that useful as well.

Hearing your journey of personal growth and the positive impact my books have had on your life deeply inspires me. I am beyond grateful for the opportunity to have made a positive difference. Today, I humbly ask for your help in reaching more souls by leaving your review on Amazon.com.

Your genuine and heartfelt review can touch the lives of countless individuals who are searching for guidance and inspiration. By sharing your experience, you have the power to bring solace and hope to those who need it most. Your review will help others find their path to lasting joy as well. Thank you for considering this request and for being a beacon of light in the lives of others.

 

HERE’S MY STORY:

I passed a rock with a beautiful message written on it while on a walking trail at the Thai Buddhist monastery where I was living at that time. Being a million miles from home and a billion miles from my old life in New York City, I didn’t expect this message to resonate with me so much. But it struck me in my heart like a lightning bolt.

The message was, “I have arrived, I am home.” This message was not referring to the monastery. It refers to a feeling we can carry with us in each and every step. What is home? It’s the place where we (hopefully) feel safe and at peace. What is arriving? It is the setting down of our baggage and taking a rest. Or in spiritual terms, putting down the mental baggage and giving our brain a rest.

So, how can we feel this peace in every step? It’s as simple as noticing your breath – the giver of life. If you can breathe, then you are alive in this moment. Everything else is just mental noise.

We cannot ignore this mental noise, nor can we forcefully stop it. That would be like using the mind to defeat the mind. But we can work with the mind. All of this mental noise is like waves on the surface of the ocean. We can’t stop waves from coming ashore. And if we ignore them, they’ll still be there. But, the more we become aware of the deep peace and stillness underneath the surface, the more the waves on top don’t seem so big. This peace always exists under the surface and we can be in touch with it in every step we take. To better connect with that peace, here’s an easy spiritual practice you can do to calm your mind. 

If you’re ever feeling depressed or overwhelmed, just remember the mantra, “I have arrived, I am home,” and allow your mind to go home and find refuge. This profound truth is something even young children can recognize. More on how to rediscover that hope and love for life in this video.

Love,

Todd

PS – When the boss isn’t pleased with your work, or maybe a coworker is trying to get on your nerves, what can be done in situations like these to maintain our inner peace? In this article, I share 5 ways we can use mindfulness to manage our emotions.

How to Forgive Those Who Will Not Apologize  Get Peace & Calm Delivered

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Path to Peace How to Handle Emotional Outbursts

We will all feel all of the human emotions throughout our lives. That's part of life. But when we let ourselves get swept away by those emotions, then we can act unmindfully and in ways that can hurt our reputation and relationships. When our emotions carry us away, we lose ourselves and we feel the emotions with great intensity as if they are happening to us.

When we are present, we don't feel emotions. Instead, we simply witness the sensations of our ever-changing emotions and thoughts. In today's podcast, I share some simple ways to help us stay present when heavy emotions come over us. I discuss how we can respond to difficult situations calmly and skillfully. And I share ways to reframe our stressors so that those heavy emotions don't come over us in the first place.

Please enjoy other episodes where I share meditation techniques, tips and spiritual lessons from around the world for peaceful and stress-free living. Remember to subscribe to stay up-to-date.

One small positive message can uplift our day. Get your dose of positivity at https://www.youtube.com/toddperelmuter

Like what I’m doing? Support the show at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/toddperel.

I answer spiritual questions from people on my weekly Path to Peace newsletter. Join the community of like-minded beautiful souls right at https://www.eastwesticism.org

You can find my books on Amazon, Audible, BarnesandNoble.com, and anywhere else you get your books.

The post Path to Peace How to Handle Emotional Outbursts appeared first on EastWesticism.

How Can Unkind Self-Talk Affect Your Mental Health?

When we grow up being punished and criticized, negative reinforcement becomes the only form of motivation we know. When we are brought up by tough teachers or parents who thought this was the best way, we can begin to actually fear and resist encouragement, praise and positive reinforcement. 

By growing up with negative reinforcement, we begin to subconsciously and mistakenly associate all of our accomplishments with stress, pressure and panic. As we get older, we internalize this method of motivation and we become our own harshest critics. In reality, stress and pressure drain us of our energy and waste our time by worrying instead of working.

When we judge ourselves harshly, we end up judging everybody else harshly. When we are negative in our thoughts, we are often negative in our words and actions. When we are stressed, we more often get sick, tired, impatient and short tempered.

How we are motivated makes the way we work fall into two categories: 

Number 1) We’re just trying to avoid getting yelled at by some mean enforcer type. 

Number 2) We’re trying to impress someone we really admire and respect. 

So, how do you want to speak to yourself? Just because you’re more familiar with the inner drill sergeant doesn’t mean it’s necessary to achieve your goals. Try being your own most loving, kind, patient, wise coach and see what happens. You may discover that work no longer feels like work, stressful situations become joyful, and you’re able to work longer and better because your inner voice is lifting you up instead of dragging you down.

 

ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Our minds are thinking machines, constantly jumping from thought to thought, constantly looking for something to overthink and obsess about. That’s what they do, it’s their job. A hand will do hand stuff and the mind will do thinking stuff.

But what happens when our minds get out of control? What happens when they no longer think the positive thoughts we wish they would? What happens when they only dwell on negative things like what could go wrong in the future and what has gone wrong in the past?

When that happens, here is what you can do:

1) Start practicing mindfulness in all your daily activities ( Read: Why Successful Leaders Start Their Day with Mindfulness)

2)  Spend some time just being conscious and aware of your thoughts. (This meditation can help you in becoming more aware of your thoughts and calm your mind.)

3) Practice focusing your mind on the things you want to focus on (Perfectionism is a myth. Don’t let it demotivate you. Here’s how to overcome the curse of perfectionism.)

4) Change unconscious negative thoughts into conscious positive ones through intentional thinking. (Here’s how you can stop obsessing over regrets in life. If you feel like life didn’t go the way you hoped, that you could have done better or you could have been a better person, this podcast is for you.)

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Path to Peace How to Accept That I Am Not the Person I Wanted to Be?

We all have plans and goals, but so does the universe. Sometimes our plans work out, and sometimes even more magical experiences are in store for us than we could have ever imagined. This may make life seem scary and uncertain, but we actually wouldn't want it any other way. Challenges make us grow, stress makes us stronger, and learning to overcome obstacles makes us smarter.

We are all here on this earth to learn, love and evolve. If we learned anything from The Twilight Zone, it's that actually getting everything we want, right when we want it, with no effort at all, will actually make us miserable, spoiled and unhappy. 

In today's podcast, I share how we can accept who we are and where we are in life. I talk about how we can use our setbacks as learning opportunities. And I discuss how we can reframe our successes and failures so that we can use them to reach our ultimate potential.

Please enjoy other episodes where I share meditation techniques, tips and spiritual lessons from around the world for peaceful and stress-free living. Remember to subscribe to stay up-to-date.

One small positive message can uplift our day. Get your dose of positivity at https://www.youtube.com/toddperelmuter

Like what I’m doing? Support the show at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/toddperel.

I answer spiritual questions from people on my weekly Path to Peace newsletter. Join the community of like-minded beautiful souls right at https://www.eastwesticism.org

You can find my books on Amazon, Audible, BarnesandNoble.com, and anywhere else you get your books.

The post Path to Peace How to Accept That I Am Not the Person I Wanted to Be? appeared first on EastWesticism.

Finding It Difficult to Connect With Non-Spiritual People?

Human beings come in all shapes and sizes. No two are completely alike, and yet, we each find types of people who we most get along with. It is a natural and wonderful process that as we grow, our friends and relationships evolve and grow as well. With some people we’ll grow closer, and others further apart.

Holding on and clinging to relationships that we’ve outgrown can be painful. Similarly, cutting people out too early can isolate us. The key is to not get swept away by one extreme or the other, and to find that middle path.

It’s very common for people who have just discovered spirituality to suddenly think everyone else needs to discover it as well. (Wondering how to manage a relationship if your partner is at a different place spiritually than you are? Listen to my latest podcast.) And while sharing things we love with the people we love is a beautiful act, there’s a fine line between that and preaching, forcing, or coercing.

I know it can be difficult to see our loved ones suffering. It’s made worse when we feel certain we know the solution for them. But the answer to dealing with the suffering of others is the same as the answer to how we deal with any other form of suffering: the work lies within.

When we struggle because of the actions of others, that is a cosmic signpost pointing us to look inward instead. This frustration we feel doesn’t stem from other people making choices based on their lived experiences. The frustration stems from our own expectations, our own inability to sit with other people’s poor choices, and from our own lack of compassion and understanding.

With compassion and understanding, we will be able to lend a hand with no expectations. We will know when to offer a kind word or when to listen. We will know when someone is really ready to change or when they just need a hand on theirs. 

When we stay with the moment, stay with the discomfort, and stay present for ourselves and the other person, we will be able to accept the other person’s choices no matter how much we disagree. We will be able to accept the consequences that come from their choices. And we will be able to sit with, accept, and make peace with our own feelings of frustration as well. This is the practice and this is how we transmute conflict into compassion.

The best way to inspire, encourage and motivate anyone to change for the better is by being a true example of love and selflessness. The further you go on your journey and the more joyful you become, the more people will want to know your secret. If we get frustrated because someone isn’t listening to us, we are only showing them that our spiritual practice is not as effective as we say it is. Every stressful situation is a spiritual practice in disguise.

ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is no doubt a crazy and miraculous mystery. There is the infinite eternal oneness, and then we have these bodies that have to interact with the practical world of time and space. Sometimes, spiritual people can feel like aliens, especially when relating to other people who haven’t experienced this.

 

And so, we must master both realms. We must be able to experience complete oneness with the universe, and that we have these temporary roles and responsibilities to fulfill. It’s really a matter of having one foot in the pool and one foot out, and being able to find the comfort and peace in both.

We can both enjoy the beingness, and we can also enjoy the doingness. It’s about flowing with whatever situation arises with skilled mindfulness. Being totally mindful of our situations takes us out of our heads, out of anxiety, and into the present moment. Being fully present lets us remove any worries and doubts, and being mindful of our own anxieties helps us recognize them, and then we can choose to either listen to them or ignore them. The choice is always ours.

As this week ends and another begins, let’s keep in our minds those who are struggling. Let us keep them in our hearts. If that’s you, send yourself some extra love as well (You can also try this very powerful and easy PoT meditation for extra love and positivity this week). May we help alleviate the suffering of living beings everywhere. May we all be happy and well. May our minds be free from anger, greed, hatred and fear. And may we find peace of mind. 

Much love,
Todd

PS – Kids today are blasted by more advertising, more media, more messaging, and more influences than ever before. Today, kids’ lives are moving in hyperdrive compared to 20 years ago. It might have a positive side, like having more access to information, however it is often at the detriment of their mental health and well-being. IIf you have kids and wonder if meditation can help, what age they should start, and how to get kids to do it and love it, you can read more about it in my recent article.

In this article just for the moms, I share simple steps for how busy mothers can become more mindful, more present, less stressed, and less overwhelmed. Hope you find them helpful.

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Path to Peace What If My Partner Is Spiritually at a Different Place?

As we embark upon the spiritual journey within, we may find that what we used to like no longer allures us. We may find that things we once disliked are now peaceful and calming. And as we change, we may notice our relationships also changing. This is a normal part of growth that happens throughout our lives.

But what do we do when the people we love refuse to take responsibility for their energy and their unmindful behavior? How do we watch our loved ones suffer when we know they could get better with meditation? How do we remain empathetic to close friends and family who continue blaming everyone else and keep causing more suffering for themselves and others? I answer these questions and more in today’s podcast.

Please enjoy other episodes where I share meditation techniques, tips and spiritual lessons from around the world for peaceful and stress-free living. Remember to subscribe to stay up-to-date.

One small positive message can uplift our day. Get your dose of positivity at https://www.youtube.com/toddperelmuter

Like what I’m doing? Support the show at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/toddperel.

I answer spiritual questions from people on my weekly Path to Peace newsletter. Join the community of like-minded beautiful souls right at https://www.eastwesticism.org

You can find my books on Amazon, Audible, BarnesandNoble.com, and anywhere else you get your books.

The post Path to Peace What If My Partner Is Spiritually at a Different Place? appeared first on EastWesticism.

How to Deal With Lack of Affection in Your Life

We all need human touch and affection. (If you’re currently experiencing loneliness and a lack of physical touch, this video is for you.) It is as innate a drive as hunger and thirst. We love love, and so we seek it out, we crave it, and it is this force that has helped us work together to survive and thrive on this planet.

It is true that in our modern society, it’s become easier to call than to visit, to text than to call, and to drop a heart or a like instead of leaving a comment. And while this distance and isolation can seem insurmountable, these new technologies also contain within them our solution. 

Within our little screens are billions of other people who are also alone. We can use our phones to join meetups, find events, or create our own events. We can meet strangers in our neighborhood, or find love on the other side of the world. We can use these devices to arrange more in-person activities with our friends and loved ones, we can text them that we plan to take our phones out at a minimum, and we can even set alarms reminding us to be more present.

The second way we can use this technology to enhance our feeling of connection is by watching and reading content like this that reminds us just how deeply interconnected each of us is with all of humanity, all life on this planet, and with the entirety of the cosmos. With every inhale, we take in parts of the plants and the earth. We breathe in the stardust of billions of dead stars. We breathe in life, and we breathe life back out into the universe. A merging takes place with each breath, as well as with each bite and sip we take.

The truth is, we can never be alone because we could not survive alone. We need the plants, the critters, our ancestors and our fellow humans in order to be here today. Simultaneously, we can never be truly with anyone. Others can be near us and say kind things to support us, but ultimately it is up to each of us, alone but one, to lift ourselves up, to be a source of strength for ourself, and to decide how we will respond to what this mysterious universe throws at us. (Here’s a simple way to lift yourself up that most gurus won’t tell you.) The journey to peace, presence and purpose lies within, and ultimately we must walk that path alone.

ALWAYS REMEMBER:

We all notice different things because there are many varying degrees of consciousness. Lower levels of consciousness tend to only see objects. These lower states of awareness usually fixate on physical objects and even see people as objects. The more conscious we become, the more we see non-material things, like relationships, patterns, and connections. We see how all things are connected and affect each other. (Have you ever wondered if oneness would make us suffer when others do, and what we can do to deal with that? Here are some thoughts on that in my latest podcast episode.)

In low levels, everything appears separate, isolated, alone, random and chaotic. In high levels, oneness, beauty and meaning emerge. Low levels are states of fear, anger and greed. High levels are love, compassion and gratitude.

In Buddhism, they meditate on interconnectedness – how all things are related. You can do this too by simply thinking of your lunch. Then you can thank whoever made it for you. Then you can thank the farmers, the truck drivers, the drivers’ parents, the store clerks, the sun and the rain and the air, the plants and critters who made the right conditions for these crops, the road pavers and the taxpayers, and on and on and on. Pretty soon you’ll realize that everything we enjoy is only thanks to everything there is.

As we jump into June, let’s ponder this amazing fact. You and I both have about a million atoms in our body that were once in the body of Jesus. With each inhale, we breathe in particles of air that were once exhaled by every human who ever lived. If you just breathed (and I hope you did), you just inhaled a particle from Julius Caesar’s dying breath. Separation, isolation, and loneliness are illusions created because we failed to look deeper. On one hand, we can never be alone because we are everyone and everything. On the other hand, we can never truly be with anyone else because we are all one. It is dancing in between the space of these two truths that we find the joy and peace of being.

Love,
Todd

PS – Receiving your heartfelt messages of gratitude and personal transformation touches me deeply. Knowing that my books have made a positive impact on your life fills me with immense joy. I kindly ask for your support in sharing your experience by leaving a review on Amazon.com. By leaving a review, you have the power to help others discover the timeless teachings contained within these pages. Your words hold the potential to inspire and guide those who are searching for healing, happiness, and lasting joy. Thank you for considering this request and for being an integral part of spreading the light of these teachings to more people in need.

Also, I recently published an article, Can Meditation Help with Organization & Decluttering? Hope you find it helpful.

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