Todd Perelmuter's Blog, page 39

Have Intrusive Thoughts? Here’s How to Turn Them Down

If we were to put all of our focus on one little ant, that ant would take up all of our attention and awareness. Similarly, even though there’s always so much happening within us and around us, if we put all of our focus on our thoughts, those thoughts will become the only things that exist to us. 

Similarly, when we become triggered because of traumatic events in our past, we lose sight of the here and now as we get swept away by our thoughts and emotions. In my latest YouTube video, I talk about how we can truly heal from trauma and unlearn those trigger responses.)

Most of the time, our focus goes wherever the most exciting thing is happening. It moves and wanders aimlessly, a slave to the whims of our environment. While our thoughts can be very clever and attention-grabbing, they are usually repetitive, negative, and at times even nonsensical — definitely not our highest wisdom. Sometimes our thinking minds will help us solve problems or be creative, but most of the time they are distracting us from the here and now, disturbing our inner peace, and causing needless stress and suffering.

There are two key ways for dealing with intrusive thoughts:

Expanding our perspective Developing our powers of focus and concentration.

Expanding our perspective means focusing more on where thoughts are coming from, what unhealed experiences we are still holding onto, and noticing more what is happening right in front of us. The more present and mindful we become, the less space there is in our field of awareness for those thoughts to take up. This means setting alarms on your phone and writing on Post-It notes reminders to breathe consciously and be fully present. The more we practice, the more it becomes our permanent way of being.

Secondly, to develop our powers of focus and concentration so that our thoughts can no longer pull us out of the present moment, we need to practice sustained, single-pointed concentration. We must use something that is not hyperstimulating, like watching TV or using our phone would be. It can be meditating while staring at one spot on a wall, staring at a candle flame or a crystal, or focusing on the breath entering and exiting at the tip of the nose. For beginners, repeating a mantra or counting breaths is extremely helpful.

For people who find sitting still particularly difficult, walking meditation can be a powerful practice, where we maintain our focus on each footstep rising and coming down. We can meditate sitting, lying down, standing or walking. Because we always move through life in these positions, practicing each of these meditations will help us turn our entire life into a meditation. When we’re eating, we can maintain awareness of the sensations of eating. When we’re cleaning, we can stay with the cleaning instead of mentally complaining or thinking about what we’ll do next.

By deepening into presence, and by developing a mastery of our own mind, our intrusive thoughts become quieter, unconscious thinking lessens, and the more peaceful our lives can become. 

 

Here’s My Personal Story:

We all have a constant stream of thought going through our mind. A narration of our life told by us, the narrator, and it never stops. How exhausting!

This voice in our head is rarely useful and often critical. We don’t need our brains to always label everything for us to understand what we’re seeing. There is so much to reality beyond the one-word-at-a-time narration. In fact, it makes us really miss out on the beauty and depth of our lives. If a picture is worth a thousand words, then one fully present moment is worth a billion.

There was this one time when I was sitting on a park bench during my lunch break. I was really upset at something a coworker did. My mind wasn’t just talking, it was screaming. And then I realized something that completely changed me. I realized that for the past 5 minutes, I was completely unaware of anything that was happening in front of me. My eyes were open but I wasn’t seeing. I was so in my head that I was completely unaware of what was happening just 2 feet in front of me. As soon as I realized that I was mentally someplace else, my mind immediately stopped racing and the office drama no longer bothered me. Peace instantly came over me the second I got out of my head. (More on how meditation helped me with my mental health, and how it can help yours as well, in this article.)

Love,
Todd

PS – Have you ever wondered if you can be a millionaire as well as an enlightened human being? My thoughts on the subject are on today’s podcast.

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Path to Peace Would Oneness Make Me Suffer When Others Do?

A near universal experience as people begin to go down the spiritual path is that they discover that when they are no longer disconnected from the rest of the universe, they become highly sensitive and empathetic. This can be a very uncomfortable experience at first simply because it is so new and different. Some people wonder if this means that the spiritual path is bad or not meant for them.

In today's podcast episode, I talk about why this sense of oneness can make us more sensitive, why that's actually a great thing, and how we can all use this newfound discomfort as a vehicle for going deeper, so that we can go beyond the unfamiliar phase and into a deeper state of peace and understanding than ever before.

Please enjoy other episodes where I share meditation techniques, tips and spiritual lessons from around the world for peaceful and stress-free living. Remember to subscribe to stay up-to-date.

One small positive message can uplift our day. Get your dose of positivity at https://www.youtube.com/toddperelmuter

Like what I’m doing? Support the show at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/toddperel.

I answer spiritual questions from people on my weekly Path to Peace newsletter. Join the community of like-minded beautiful souls right at https://www.eastwesticism.org

You can find my books on Amazon, Audible, BarnesandNoble.com, and anywhere else you get your books.

The post Path to Peace Would Oneness Make Me Suffer When Others Do? appeared first on EastWesticism.

Living your life in fears, failures and regrets

Does anyone here have a crystal ball that sees into the future? Do you have a genie’s lamp with unlimited wishes? And most importantly, do you think having those things would make you happier?

Perhaps you’ve seen the Twilight Zone episode of the man who dies and goes to heaven. In heaven, he can have everything he could ever dream of just by thinking it into existence. Over time, the man becomes sick and tired of winning every game of blackjack, of being constantly swooned over by beautiful women, and having everything and everyone at his disposal. The predictability and excess drove him mad. When the twist is revealed at the end, we find out this man was in hell all along.

This may seem like fiction, but this is actually something monks and mystics have known for millennia. What we think we want, may not be best for us. And what may be best for us, we may not want.

The fact is, when everything goes our way, there can be no growth, no wisdom, and no appreciation. We need the bad stuff to notice the good stuff. We need loss to appreciate what we have. We need to make mistakes so vital lessons can be learned. This mysterious universe is chaotic and unpredictable, but none of us would really want it any other way. (More on how to deal with life’s regrets in my latest podcast.)

With our highest wisdom, we can know that mistakes and successes are just different points on the same path. With wisdom, we can see the good in the bad. With greater understanding, we can embrace fear, love mistakes, relish regrets, and commit ourselves to accepting our choices, letting go of the past, and making this current reality the best reality it can be. (And you don’t have to be in a monastery to achieve that. You can do it in a noisy, chaotic city. Here’s why I consider NYC as my greatest teacher.)

 

ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Pain can be our greatest friend and even greater teacher. If we have the courage and clarity of peace to look at it, we can see its lessons and even its beauty.

Oftentimes, when it comes to emotional and mental pain, we are our own culprit. We talk to ourselves in ways we would never tolerate anyone else speaking to us. We believe our own criticism and we have a hard time believing our own — or other people’s — praise.

The past can never be negative. It was what it was. It happened in the past and it no longer exists but in our memory. If we learn from the past, if we use what we’ve learned, and if we can move forward with greater wisdom and experience, then we can even turn a painful past into a positive present.

As this week ends and a new one begins, let’s remember that no one knows what tomorrow will bring, and let’s be grateful we don’t! We all did our best with what we knew at the time. There is no failure unless we give in to doubt, fear and defeat. There is no regret in the present moment. The question is, can we welcome each new moment with open arms, or will our arms be closed, still clinging onto the past? The choice is up to us.

Love,
Todd

PS – A lot of people have both asked and answered the question, “When is the best time to meditate?” Is morning meditation better than in the evening? In this article, I share what’s worked for me in my own personal experience, I share which times of day have the most benefits, and I pour over the scientific evidence that backs them up.

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Path to Peace Can I Be Enlightened and a Millionaire?

Money. We all need it, we all want more of it, and for most of us, there is no amount of it that will ever be enough. While providing for ourselves and our families is essential and noble, sometimes making money can come at the expense of ourselves, our fellow man, and the planet. So how can we earn money, get on that rat race, but maintain our ethics, continue to grow as people, and live meaningful lives filled with purpose and peace? Is it even possible?!

In today's podcast episode, I talk about how we can develop a better relationship with money and the ways we make it. I talk about how we can work mindfully, build businesses consciously, and use our careers as vehicles for going deeper into presence, instead of using them to escape into an endless pursuit of profit at any cost.

Please enjoy other episodes where I share meditation techniques, tips and spiritual lessons from around the world for peaceful and stress-free living. Remember to subscribe to stay up-to-date.

One small positive message can uplift our day. Get your dose of positivity at https://www.youtube.com/toddperelmuter

Like what I’m doing? Support the show at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/toddperel.

I answer spiritual questions from people on my weekly Path to Peace newsletter. Join the community of like-minded beautiful souls right at https://www.eastwesticism.org

You can find my books on Amazon, Audible, BarnesandNoble.com, and anywhere else you get your books.

The post Path to Peace Can I Be Enlightened and a Millionaire? appeared first on EastWesticism.

Path to Peace How to Deal with Regrets in Life

We've all been there. We think things are going to go one way, and then life throws us a curveball. We  try to plan, control and predict every little thing, but this universe has bigger plans than our little ideas.

We will all have moments in our lives that we wish went differently. The question is, will we learn from it? Will we be open to the  possibilities that this new path has in store for us? Or will we allow ourselves to be consumed by regret and despair?

In today's podcast, I share some very simple but effective ways we can let go of a regretful past, how we can find the lessons, and how we can move forward with courage and optimism.

Please enjoy other episodes where I share meditation techniques, tips and spiritual lessons from around the world for peaceful and stress-free living. Remember to subscribe to stay up-to-date.

One small positive message can uplift our day. Get your dose of positivity at https://www.youtube.com/toddperelmuter

Like what I’m doing? Support the show at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/toddperel.

I answer spiritual questions from people on my weekly Path to Peace newsletter. Join the community of like-minded beautiful souls right at https://www.eastwesticism.org

You can find my books on Amazon, Audible, BarnesandNoble.com, and anywhere else you get your books.

The post Path to Peace How to Deal with Regrets in Life appeared first on EastWesticism.

How to Say No When It Feels Tough But is the Right Thing To Do

Telling someone “no” may actually be your way of saying “yes” to yourself. We all have 24 hours in a day. There are only so many things we can do in life. In this great journey of life, there will be a finite number of hugs, smiles, cries and laughs. The choice for how we choose to fill up our days is up to each of us. As selfish as it may seem to live your life the way you see fit, it is actually the exact same deal each and every one of us has.

Some people will live for others, others will live for themselves, but the wise person will live in the middle. A person who only lives for others may let people take advantage of their niceness. They may become drained, exhausted, or have a nervous breakdown. Whenever you feel let down by others, and the pain lingers long after the emotional event took place, here are a few simple ways to find your way back to the peaceful present.

Someone who only lives for themself may find themself alone and miserable. They may succumb to addiction and the guilt that comes from living selfishly and unethically.

A person who walks the middle path of mindfulness is aware of their own limitations, their own intuition, and their own instincts. But, they are also mindful of other people’s feelings, if others are being genuine or conniving, and if others are being respectful or just selfishly expecting everyone else to do whatever they want at the drop of a hat.

Each situation is different and will require mindful observation. The more we practice being present, the less we get carried away by our emotions. When we can get out of our head and into the present moment, we’ll know what to do. With no second-guessing, no doubt, no feeling bad, we can say “no,” and we can say it with love, joy and confidence.

 

Always Remember:

You can only give what you have to give. This is why it’s so important to listen to your body and mind and know when you need to recharge. Loving yourself is not selfish. When your relationship with yourself is love, that love will be projected onto all of your relationships, and because your love comes from within, no one else can bring it down. If you feel stuck in a toxic relationship, here’s how you can know what to do.

Sometimes life can make us tough. Sometimes we have to look tough, like when walking down certain neighborhoods, but in your mind and wherever safe, you have permission to be that shiny person. It may not mean giving every single person too much of your time, but smiles and kindness are free and unlimited, so feel free to give them away all the time. The people who respond with kindness will be your people worth giving your time to.

As time rolls forward at the perfect speed, as next week approaches right on time, and as last week sails away precisely on schedule, let’s all take a moment to breathe a little easier, remembering how the universe unfolds for us, effortlessly, precisely and peacefully. We may feel like we are juggling a million things and holding the world together with duct tape, but also, the earth will continue spinning on regardless. We’ve done the hard work. We’ve stressed long enough. This week, don’t forget to appreciate yourself, celebrate your accomplishments, and take in the beauty around you.

Love, 

Todd

PS – Toss the pills and hit the pillows… with meditation. New research is shining light on the fact that sleeping pills, which only sedate us, do not give us the benefits of deep, rejuvenating, restful sleep. In this article, I’ll talk about the things that prevent us from getting a good night’s sleep, what we can do to sleep great every night, and the latest science behind how and why meditation works for a better sleep.

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Why Major Corporations Turning to Executive Mindfulness Meditation

From entrepreneurs of startups to CEOs of Fortune 500 companies, successful people have a few things in common.

Many of those secret ingredients for success have to do with mindfulness. However, many don’t even know what mindfulness is. Hence, the first question is, what is mindfulness? 

 

Mindfulness has to do with aspects of the mind such as: ClarityFocus and concentrationPrioritizationThoughtfulnessIntentionAwareness of yourself and othersAwareness of one’s own mental state

Since executives and entrepreneurs don’t need big muscles for lifting heavy boxes or the stamina of a bicycle messenger, their mind is their most important tool. They need to keep it sharp, disciplined, and working optimally. 

From Jack Dorsey to Tom Brady, Arianna Huffington to Oprah Winfrey, these successful leaders have found mindfulness meditation invaluable and essential to their success. It gives them priceless time to destress, think, prioritize, focus and clear their mind. But it also does so much more.

Here, I’ll talk about what mindfulness meditation is, how it works, and why it can help with professional success.

 

Why is Executive Mindfulness Meditation the Biggest Key to Success?

Research has shown that any super successful person has a mastery of the following three skills:

Knowledge and ExpertisePersonal PresentationProper Mindset

Knowledge and Expertise are about fully understanding your company, your competitors, and the industry as a whole, your role, and your responsibilities. Most executives consider themselves highly knowledgeable experts. 

Moving on to the next one, Personal Presentation is how other people perceive you. Do you project confidence? Do people want to listen to you? How is your handshake, charisma, voice, and speaking skills? Most executives believe the way they present themselves could use some work.

Furthermore, a proper mindset has to do with focus, concentration, discipline, positivity, creativity, productivity, confidence, thinking clearly, ego in check, and remaining cool/calm/collected. Most professionals think they are below average in maintaining the proper mindset. 

Luckily, mindfulness meditation helps executives improve dramatically with numbers 2 and 3. Here’s how.

 

What is Executive Mindfulness Meditation?

Mindfulness meditation is the practice of being present, aware, alert, relaxed, focused, and becoming more conscious of our mind, body, and surroundings. 

Not only this, It’s the practice of becoming unidentified with our thoughts and emotions, and unattached to our passing worries and doubts.

By sitting in a quiet place for just 20 minutes a day and focusing on your breath or your body, you will slowly train your mind to become more controlled and intentional rather than reactionary and impulsive.

95 percent of everything humans do happens subconsciously, habitually, and without thinking about it. This means that 95 percent of the time, we are not fully present in the task we are undertaking. 

We should practice mindfulness meditation and be present throughout the day. Through this, we can become more conscious, think more clearly, notice more and make better decisions.

 

How Does Executive Mindfulness Meditation Work?

As we put our attention on the present moment, we cannot simultaneously be lost in thought. By getting out of our heads, we allow room for creativity, fearless leadership, greater understanding, and the confidence that comes from detaching from self-doubt.

 

Meditation for Creativity

Every time we bring our attention to the present moment, we disrupt the constant chatter in our heads. Moreover, when we focus on the task at hand, we thrive. Did you know why? Because our focus is on the flow at that moment.

Not only this, at that moment we are only thinking about just that moment. This means we aren’t thinking anything behind it, or beyond it.  Therefore, Our old habitual thought patterns end, and new thought patterns, creativity, and deeper understanding can take place. 

 Meditation for Leadership

A leader’s job is to put the company’s needs or its employee’s needs first. In mindfulness meditation, we’re able to get outside of our head, and we can actually grow the part of the brain responsible for empathy. This makes us better leaders as we can better understand the needs of others.

 Executive Mindfulness Meditation for Focus

The practice of focusing on the present moment in meditation improves one’s ability to concentrate. Usually, we just think whatever train of thoughts pops into our heads. By concentrating on something in the present moment—whether it’s your breath, your body, or putting your complete attention on a task—you’re practicing and improving your focus and disciplined thinking. 

 

Meditation for Confidence

You can read every book on power postures and charisma you like, but if you still have thoughts of self-doubt, worries, and fear, your face and body will give it away. The best and really only way to project confidence is to be confident. 

When we meditate, we observe our thoughts when they pop into our heads. By observing them instead of being lost in them, we are able to recognize thought patterns that don’t serve us. Once we become conscious of them, unconscious thought patterns cannot continue.

CEOs, executives, and entrepreneurs are all under great stress. Eliminating fear takes more than just positive affirmations. It takes awareness. Awareness, like when we’re being watched,  makes our thoughts be on their best behavior. Presence stops the negative mind chatter altogether and allows us to better respond to whatever situation comes up.

This is backed up by science too. The more we meditate and practice mindfulness, the smaller the region of the brain becomes that is responsible for fear. When we’re afraid, we make costly mistakes. This is why the CEOs and executives of Fortune 500 companies are turning to mindfulness meditation.

 

How Can Executives Implement Mindfulness Meditation?

Aren’t powerful executives too busy to sit around and do nothing? Nothing could be further from the truth. If 20 minutes per day made you twice as productive, twice as creative, and twice as focused, then you can’t afford to meditate!

There’s no bad time to meditate. Many people like to wake up 20 minutes earlier so that they can squeeze in meditation. They report having more energy throughout the day than if they had slept an extra 20 minutes. 

Moreover, many executives find meditating for part of their lunch break is the perfect way to boost their energy and focus for the afternoon. 

However,  perhaps the greatest thing any company can do is to offer it to every employee 3 to 5 times per week. Many successful corporations are doing just that. They’re turning quiet spaces into meditation rooms and bringing in expert meditation teachers to teach their employees mindfulness meditation for success.

Every single employee at times deals with stress, low energy, lack of focus, and habitual thinking that prevents creativity and confidence. Executive meditation can help them refocus, reenergize, and find greater satisfaction in their work and lives. 

Studies have shown that companies that have implemented meditation programs for their workers have better retention, make fewer costly mistakes, save money from stress-related absences, have healthier workers and office relationships are improved.

Globally, stress and high employee turnover rates cost the economy trillions of dollars. It may sound like having your employees and executives sit around for 20 minutes a day with their eyes closed is a bad use of time, but in reality, there is nothing that could be greater for their personal and professional success, as well as for the company’s success. 

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Build Self-Discipline with Meditation: 6 Easy Steps

In this blog, I’ll explain in just 6 easy steps how you can build self-discipline with meditation. Despite all of the remarkable technology at our fingertips, our society seems busier than ever.

But these days, more and more super successful people are learning that spending a little time tuning out helps them be more self-disciplined so they can perform at their best.

What does Jack Dorsey, the CEO of two massively successful multinational corporations, have that you don’t have? Physically speaking, nothing. Everything he has within him, you have. Everything he achieved, you could achieve. 

But he has one trait in particular that has been the key to his success – self-discipline. Because of his self-discipline, he manages Square Inc and Twitter Inc, all while juggling congressional hearings and serving on the board of directors for Disney.

Besides being an Academy Award-nominated actor, Mark Wahlberg runs several businesses, works out for 2.5 hours 5 days a week, and still has time to take his kids to school. How does he do it? Self-discipline.

Similarly, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson went from college football player to professional wrestler, to one of the highest-paid actors on the planet.

He wakes up at 3:30 am, works out 6 days a week, and he makes 3 movies and a TV show per year! Can you smell how the Rock does it? Yup, self-discipline.

 

How Do They Have So Much Self-Discipline?

So, besides self-discipline, what do these three guys have in common? You guessed it again – they use meditation to build self-discipline.

Despite their incredibly busy and successful lives, each of these people starts their day off with a morning meditation to help them focus, prioritize, process their thoughts, and prepare themselves to take on the day.

Jack Dorsey meditates for two hours every single morning. He does Vipassana mindfulness meditation and credits it for his energy, focus, happiness, and clarity of thought. 

Mark Wahlberg calls it his daily prayer, where from 2:45 to 3:15 am he thinks about those who are less fortunate, what he’s grateful for, his responsibilities, and what he needs to focus on that day.

For Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, he calls it his two hours of quiet time, where from 3:30 to 5:30 am he can “really just shut off my brain.”

He has found that he can sacrifice the extra two hours of sleep because the meditation gives him a deeper, more restful experience that will keep him highly energized throughout the day.

 

6 Ways Meditation Helps Build Self-Discipline

1. Focus

First and foremost, meditation trains the mind to focus. By focusing on your breath, a mantra, your body, or something else, meditation is all about focus.

When we get distracted, we don’t finish projects, or we finish them poorly. Through meditation, we train the muscles in our mind responsible for focusing.

The more we meditate, the more we practice focusing. Whenever we get distracted or lost in thoughts, we just gently bring our attention back to the object of our focus.

Once you learn to be able to focus on something as boring as your breath with the same level of attention you give to your favorite movie, you will be able to literally focus on anything you set your mind to

With this new level of heightened focus and concentration comes new levels of peace and tranquility. Deep focus is a state of deep peace and trance-like tranquility. There is no thought in this state, only awareness, and observation without judgment or mental labeling.

2. Organize

In meditation, until you’re a zen master living in a cave, thoughts will continue to come and go. What’s important is allowing them to do so without resistance and without getting lost in thoughts.

When the thoughts come, observe them. Observe the nature of them. Don’t follow them down the rabbit hole of compulsive, habitual, unconscious thinking.

Rather, observe them and then bring your mind back to the present moment and return your focus to your breath, body, or mantra.

By doing this, problems in your life may come into your mind, but it is by clearing the mind that we allow space for solutions to present themselves.

In this way, meditation helps us organize our thoughts, process our thoughts and emotions, and think clearly about what we need to do and when we need to do it.

3. Prioritize

In giving ourselves time to process our day, our thoughts, and our emotions, we’re able to see what things truly matter.

We give ourselves time to think through what needs to be done most urgently and what things can be done later.

Then, we can go and do those most important things with ease, joy, and purpose.

4. Visualize

Professional athletes, like Tom Brady, have spoken about how they use visualization to perform better at their sport. Before a game,

Tom will visualize every second of the game coming up. He’ll see himself in his mind playing perfectly, executing perfectly, and winning.

Visualization, much like physical training, creates muscle memory in the mind. By visualizing your day going perfectly well, by sitting down with your eyes closed and seeing every detail of an important meeting play out, you are laying down the neural pathways in your brain to perform exactly how you see it beforehand.

In football or gymnastics, things happen very quickly. By using visualization, athletes are able to react more quickly when competing.

This is just as true in the boardroom when you need to think fast and anticipate what other people will say. Meditation provides the perfect opportunity to spend a few minutes visualizing important moments in your day.

5. Let Go

As we focus on our mind, for brief moments we are able to pause our normal stream of thought. The more we continue practicing meditation, the longer and more frequent these moments become.

This letting go of our normal, constant thought pattern lets our mind rest, helps us reach deep levels of peace, and in so doing we are more easily able to let go of things that bother us over which we have no control.

In moments of presence, what weighed us down no longer weighs us down. We forgive, we heal, and we set down whatever baggage we’ve been holding onto.

6. Get Going

Now that you’ve mentally prepared for your day, you’re ready to tackle it. Meditation is not about the few minutes you meditate. It’s about the rest of your day and the rest of your life.

The uniquely restful state meditation provides for your body and mind leads to greater energy and clarity throughout your day. Productivity goes up, blood pressure and stress go down, and joy and sense of fulfillment are increased.

After consistently practicing meditation in the morning, every day will be faced with boundless energy, determination, focus, and discipline. 

 

6 Steps to Build Self-Discipline with Meditation1. Choose Your  Self-Discipline Meditation Technique

There are many different types of meditation and different people prefer different methods.

Some people like to use a mantra, others like to focus on their breath, and others like to turn their focus to their body. 

All three of those meditation methods are excellent for increasing focus and self-discipline. Methods such as guided meditation are a little too easy, unfortunately.

They do not increase our self-discipline, however, they can be very relaxing and pleasant. Relaxation is an important element of mental health and guided meditation can have many benefits, but self-discipline just isn’t one of them.

 

2. Schedule It Into Your Daily Routine

If you don’t have the time to meditate, take the time. Everyone can make time for anything that’s important to them.

And when it comes to meditation, people report needing less sleep, being more focused and present, and being more productive throughout the day.

It doesn’t cost you anything; it’s an investment in your life that pays off handsomely. It’s like turning every minute into two minutes. 

Without a consistently scheduled meditation practice, the chances of it sticking are more unlikely. Pencil it in somewhere and do it.

First thing in the morning is the time most people report being able to do it consistently because distractions and emergencies haven’t started popping up yet upon first awaking.

 3. Stick to It Everyday

Being self-disciplined in your meditation practice will lead to build self-discipline meditation in every aspect of your life.

No matter how much you don’t want to meditate, do it! This will train that sticktoitiveness muscle in your mind as well.

The more you stick to it, the more your mind becomes comfortable with sticking to and completing difficult tasks.

Not only that, but meditation practiced daily will build self-discipline upon itself and every day the benefits will grow and grow.

 4. Slowly Increase the Time You Meditate

Usain Bolt wasn’t the fastest man alive the day he started walking. Just like him, you most likely won’t meditate like the Buddha on your first try. That’s ok. Good things take time and patience.

Let go of your expectations and don’t be too hard on yourself. In Buddhism, they call it taking the middle path: don’t be too lazy and don’t go so crazy that you burn out. Life is a marathon, not a sprint.

If a few minutes of meditation is something you can stick to, start with that. Maybe add 30 seconds a day, or a few minutes each week. Go at your own pace and listen to yourself.

Don’t, however, try it your first day, think it’s just too hard, that it’s just not for you, and give up.

That’s not you talking, that’s your egoic mind clinging on for dear life. The ego likes entertainment and distraction, instant gratification, and complaining. 

The ego, thanks to modern technology, has been programmed to have a microscopic attention span. It’s impatient. But that is not who you are.

Do you think if you were born 20,000 years ago that you’d have ADD or feel the need to check your phone every five minutes? Of course not. 

So just be patient, observe your thoughts, but don’t listen to them or identify with them. You are not your thoughts. The more you realize this, the less power negative thinking will have on you. 

 

5. Gradually Advance to More Challenging Types of Meditation

Key step to build self-discipline to meditation is using mantras in your meditation is generally considered easier than observing the breath or the body. It’s a great way to begin as you focus on your mantra, such as “Om,” and repeat it silently in your mind.

Once you work your way up to 20 minutes, you can try switching to breath meditation. Over time, you might be able to work your way up to 30 minutes, twice a day. 

After that, you can try body scanning, where you move your focus up and down your body as if there is an invisible grid that your consciousness is moving along.

But take your time. There’s no rush. Doing whatever amount you can stick to is always the right amount.

 

6. Over Time Proceed Towards More Traditional Meditation Postures

When you begin, sit however is comfortable for you – in a chair, in bed with your head propped up with a few pillows, sitting on the ground. Whatever is relaxing for you.

As you progress, you can try working your up to sitting on the floor without back support, in a lotus or half-lotus-pose. This is also known as the Indian style. 

The muscles and discipline you develop from sitting in ever-increasing postures will extend to how you approach everything in your life. Meditation is just a microcosm for the rest of your life. If we practice it with discipline, we will develop discipline.

 

Why is Self-Discipline Important?

Self-discipline is the most important factor that separates successful people from unsuccessful people. This applies to every aspect of our lives, whether it’s personal fitness, financial success, or success in our relationships.

When we’re lazy, our lives fall apart. When we take on tasks and challenges with energy and excitement, our lives become richer in every way. 

When we see doing what needs to be done as a chore, we procrastinate and avoid them. When we see them as opportunities, we dive right in. The best way to get doing is to take a few moments to do nothing. 

When you’re constantly drained, when you’re always mentally exhausted, everything seems hard. When you give your mind a rest regularly, everything flows easily and naturally.

 

Why Meditation Helps with Self-Discipline

When we meditate, no matter what else is happening in our lives, we can recenter our minds, find balance, recharge, and ready ourselves to take on whatever comes at us. 

Meditation gives us the vital time we all need to process our thoughts and emotions, to become present and focused, to act out of serene wisdom rather than irrational fear.

The world can be daunting. With global pandemics and problems in our personal lives, every day can feel like it’s grinding us down. If we don’t take a little time every day to process and heal from yesterday’s difficulties and stresses, we can get crushed.

Getting crushed by our worries, anxieties, and stressors can take on many forms: depression, addiction, chronic pain and illness, anger and frustration, impatience and short-tempered, as well as any number of other mental health conditions.

It’s more important than ever to take some time every day to release those negative emotions and recharge so we can take on the day and perform at our best.

To learn more about meditation for discipline, check out the audiobook How I Cured My ADHD Through Meditation.

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Conquering Your Fear of Disappointing Others

All fear stems from the same cause — our mind is trying to protect us from danger. But today, that mental relic is rearing its head even when we are not in any real physical danger. When we’re afraid of disappointing people, it tends to come from some experience in our past that left an indelible mark on our psyche. Someone at some time hurt us, made us feel worthless, and made us feel like a failure.

Often that experience is so traumatic that it fundamentally changes how we interact with the world. We may become less ambitious so as to not feel the embarrassment of disappointment. We may become timid and shy, afraid to speak up and be brave. And, our bodies may start to be in a permanent state of stress, which can lead to physical disorders like heart disease and chronic pain.

But, there are three very simple things we can all do to overcome our fears and worries of disappointing others. These tactics can even help us overcome other types of fear and stress we all face.

The first thing we must do is become mindful. We have to spend some time observing our mind, as we do in meditation or in quiet reflection. (In case you are wondering whether to do mantra meditation or breath meditation, here is my answer.) As we start to witness our fearful thoughts and emotions, we can begin to see what triggers those thoughts and emotions. The more mindful we become of our triggers, the more we can stay mindful in the moment and not lose ourselves to the fear. We can instead witness it, accept it, make peace with it, and even make friends with it.

Once we become aware of that mental story of fear, we can start to create a new script in our mind. In meditation or in a moment of downtime, visualize the triggers that cause you to get worried and scared. Visualize how you will respond to those triggers with new, positive, conscious and intentional thoughts. Now, when the trigger happens, your mind will be ready to create this new habit of courage and confidence. The quicker we catch ourselves in a negative mental story, the quicker we can get out of it. Soon, we will no longer think even that first fearful thought.
Third, take a few minutes to relax by visualizing the absolute best case scenario. See yourself being confident and relaxed. See how much people love you and your work. Because we all tend to unconsciously imagine the worst possible thing happening, by consciously imagining everything going well we are able to build a new habit of positive conscious thinking. Over time, the mind becomes our best friend, supporting us, encouraging us, and showing ourselves the attention we deserve. This is mindfulness — giving ourselves the greatest gift we have to give, our attention.

 

ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Although we live in a world that praises hard work, we must remember the immense value in pausing, taking a step back, and gaining some perspective and wisdom. The space we create in our lives and in our minds is the space where ideas can enter, insights can be made, and understanding can be developed.

Sometimes we get so consumed by our work or by details that we fail to see the big picture. We can get so fixated on each step of a process that we lose our direction. We can get attached to our successes that we lose sight of who we really are, but each of us is so much more than our accomplishments. This is why it’s so important to find the middle path, where hard work meets reflection.

As the trees burst forth with green leaves, and as the northern hemisphere springs back to life, let’s remember to live our own lives fully as well. Let’s stare fear in the face and choose life. Just one moment of presence is more profound than a hundred years of fear and stress. It’s not the length of our life that matters, it’s the quality. Life happens all around us, effortlessly and at peace. If we are trying too hard, worrying too much, clinging or fighting too strongly, we’re doing life wrong. We can work without worry, try without tiring, and strive without stress. We just have to embrace the whole of life. As the Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh said, “The purpose of the rose is to be the rose. Your purpose is to be yourself.”

PS – We can let go of our fear responses. We can create new ways of coping with stress. We can trust in the universe’s plan and we can love every uncertain and chaotic moment of it. But most importantly, we must quiet the mind so that the subtle yet profound healing power of oneness that underlies all things can be sensed. In my video, I share how to do exactly that.

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Path to Peace How to Stop Overthinking After a Betrayal

When we get hurt and let down by others, the pain we feel lingers on long after the emotional event took place. These traumatic moments in our lives take up a disproportionate amount of our mental space. If we have too many of these moments in our lives, their mental real estate can consume us. It can take all our effort not to let those experiences define us and shape us.

In today's podcast, I talk about how we can get out of that mental narrative. We can learn to leave bad moments in the past, we can let the future unfold  effortlessly as it always does, and we can create a new story that centers on the kindness and love in our lives instead of the hurt and pain.

One small positive message can uplift our day. Get your dose of positivity at https://www.youtube.com/toddperelmuter

Like what I’m doing? Support the show at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/toddperel.

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You can find my books on Amazon, Audible, BarnesandNoble.com, and anywhere else you get your books.

The post Path to Peace How to Stop Overthinking After a Betrayal appeared first on EastWesticism.