Mary Flanagan Gleason's Blog, page 15

A dream without a plan is a distraction. A plan without a clear goal is busy work.

Where do you put your two most precious resources of time and money?
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Starting any plan with a clear dream or vision provides valuable information for directing your resources for the best possible outcomes.

A vision isn’t set in lead. It can have flexibility or change when considering new information.
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“I always thought I wanted to be or do _____, but I’ve changed my mind.” This kind of reflection is never a waste of time. Your experiences brought you to get even closer to your true desire.
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Some visions are a year or two out, and some are for a lifetime. You get to decide. The important part is that the decisions you make and the actions you take are leading you where you want to go.

Have confidence in your vision. Don’t allow ego to tell you it’s too grandiose or not available to you. Plenty of successful people came from humble backgrounds that could have made them believe their dream would never be possible.
Let go of how. It’s impossible to know every step in advance. The role of a dream is to inform your decisions by deciphering if this next decision gets you closer to or further from your desired outcome.
Trust your intuition. Your interpretation or understanding won’t be perfect every time, but it will do its best to guide you in ways you may not immediately recognize as being for your greatest good.
Reconnect with your vision every day. Keep it by your desk, on your mirror, in your meditation. Allow it to inspire you ongoing.

Don’t have that big picture in your head but not loving where you are? Let’s get you headed in the right direction!

Mary

What does it��really��mean to ���trust your gut?���

Everyone has heard about the importance of doing a gut check when deciding.��
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There���s a reason for this. The number of nerves is unparalleled anywhere else in the body, so much so it is called the ���second brain.��� It contains up to five times as many neurons as the number of neurons in the spinal cord.
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That means whenever your intuition or ���spidey senses��� kick in, you are most likely to feel it in the gut. It is an early detection system that reacts to physical and mental stimuli. Sometimes in a foreboding sense, sometimes in a good sense, and sometimes just enough to cause you to slow down.
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Still, we need a little help deciphering the message.
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So, what is your gut telling you?
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The��gut, or your��solar plexus chakra,��is the seat of personal power and will. It is also where the ego resides. Here are some ways to interpret the gut���s message:��

Something or someone is causing you to feel threatened (pain or heat)Something feels like a good fit for you (relaxed or even expansive)You are giving away your power and need boundaries (restrictive)Your ego is trying to keep you safe (very restrictive, slightly shameful)

This last one is very common. One way ego tries to keep you safe is by trying to keep you small. You might experience doubtful thoughts like ���What if I fail?��� ���What if I make a fool of myself?��� ���They���re not going to hire me. I���ll just pass on this opportunity.��� ���Everyone will just laugh.���
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There is a difference between being truly unsafe and being afraid of a challenge.��
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But if you have an honest conversation with your intuition, it can help you decipher the right message for you.
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A really good challenge should both excite you and scare you.
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If you want to know more about how to interpret what your body is telling you, I offer workshops. Contact me to know more at Mary@MaryGleasonConsulting.com.

Mary

Are You Rearranging the Deck Chairs on the Titanic?

Are you trying to make the best of a bad situation by ignoring what���s really happening and acting as if the little changes will make the situation different?
 
I worked with an organization that signified to the outside world it had lost its sense of direction by entering yet another ���remodeling” phase. They didn���t know what to change, so they added new cubicles, replaced the carpets, and painted the walls. Ultimately, the place housed all the same issues as before.
 
That is akin to rearranging the deck chairs on a sinking ship. It looks like you���re doing something but not about the right issue.
 
When assessing what might work better, consider the following:

Get curious. Follow the history to see how things became as they are. This is not to assign blame but to understand all the factors that can lead to a sinking ship. Was it an unforeseen iceberg or lax maintenance?Go inward. How can you affect positive change? How much is your reaction to the situation because of your insecurities or blocked creativity to think in new ways?Act outward. Engage with staff, management, customers, clients, etc., and really listen to their experiences with the organization.Decide. Is this the best place for you? If yes, what meaningful steps are you willing to undertake to improve the situation? If not, what would give a new position positive momentum toward your goals?

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Coaching is an excellent way to help you assess your situation. It allows for professional and confidential accountability and goal setting.
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Stop rearranging the deck chairs. Focus on positive actions with real impact.

Mary

We All Take a Village

When you���re in the midst of a crisis, it���s nearly impossible to summons common sense.

Some crises pop up in a moment while some are a long slog deeper into a bad situation.

When I was eight months pregnant, I developed placenta previa, a condition that can kill both mother and baby in a very short time. My response was to go lay down. Not to call the doctor, not to get help. It was my husband who recognized what was happening and gently overrode my objections and got me to the hospital.

Once at the hospital, I was told to lie flat, don���t roll over, stay still for what turned into the next nine days. I was more than a little resistant. My doctor, seeing my denial for what it was ��� fear ��� gave me the straight scoop: ���If you were a pioneer woman, you and your baby would be a marker by the side of the road by now. You do not get to die on my watch so lie still.���

It worked.

When you encounter someone who is in crisis, it is tempting to get frustrated with their lack of common sense, but the truth is they are in fear. Surviving the moment is their only goal. They are unable to see what needs to happen next because they are overwhelmed. It often takes someone to give them some straight talk like my doctor did. It may even require someone to step in and take over like my husband did. What could not happen in my case is for others to stand there and shake their heads at my lack of action.

When you are in crisis, what is your response? Who is on your team that can supportively override and give you some straight talk? No one can get through all things by themselves.

If there is someone in your life in crisis and making one bad decision after another, do they need you to gently step in?

This goes for the workplace as well. Where are your expectations of someone realistic given their situation? Offering help is likely more effective than judgment.

We all take a village.

If you are in crisis, come see me and we���ll work to make sure you can get through it and not repeat it.

Mary

It is what it is.

What does this expression mean to you: It is what it is?

I have always interpreted it as a rather healthy response to accepting a situation, but lately, I have found people using it as an excuse.

Sometimes, “it” is the wise acceptance of a circumstance you cannot change, such as a storm that delays your flight or being stuck in traffic. No amount of screaming, fretting, or worry will change it.

Here’s what it shouldn’t mean: That you are stuck in your victim’s story.

Bad things happen to all of us at some time or another: Job loss, loss of a loved one, receiving a difficult diagnosis, or other devastating circumstances. These are things that can stop us in our tracks. In these instances, saying, “well, it is what it is so why bother��� choosing to stay stuck.

I came across this very moving story on LinkedIn a few days ago. A young man shared how he moved from victim to hero in his own life. Here’s an excerpt:

“I woke up in the hospital in the middle of a political firestorm. After being shot when the police mistook me for someone else, I started to feel hate. I had a loving family pouring into me, but my spirit wasn’t receptive because I wanted to be angry.”

“My grandfather told me ��� ‘You have to make a choice to get up. I can’t do it for you; you have to get yourself up and how you decide to climb is your responsibility.'”

“I realized that I wanted to pull myself up off the floor more than I wanted to be on it.”

He shifted to accepting what had happened and chose to do what was necessary to move forward.

We all have a victim story. What���s yours? My real question is, how is that story holding you back?

If you’re ready to take a look at it, I can help.

Mary

When NOT to Overthink

If you are responsible for launching humans into outer space, then please think as much as humanly possible about what will make this endeavor successful.

Think, think, and think some more.

If, however, you are in the middle of a crisis, please spend less time thinking and more time acting.

To do that, you must trust your instincts. These are flashes of insight and knowing that don���t have time to form complete sentences but are often a result of experience.

Are you a manager who overthinks to the point of paralysis, idling your team until all the energy for a project is allowed to drift away? If you���ve made it this far, I���m guessing you already know the right thing to do. It doesn���t require perfectly formed explanations. It requires action.

So, what holds you back?

Does it need to be perfect? Is it fear of repercussions? Will someone be unhappy with the results and you���re trying to please everyone?

Let me help you raise your trust in yourself as a decision maker and a leader.

Let���s expand your intuition to new heights and allow you to act more quickly from a place of confidence.

Mary

What���s Your Control Drama?

In The Celestine Prophecy, James Redfield outlines the four control dramas:

The IntimidatorThe InterrogatorThe AloofThe Woe is Me

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Whatever your control drama is, you no doubt learned it early on in life, and it���s still your first response under stress.
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The names speak for themselves. The intimidator tries to make you go away by huffing and puffing, talking loudly, and stomping their feet. The Interrogator starts bombarding you with a million questions, often in a nasty tone. The Aloof one shuts down. And The Woe-is-Me, my first response, is to take everything personally and make the aggressor back off by making their pain about me.

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We all use each from time to time, but there is one that is our dominant go-to. My Woe-Is-Me comes out when I feel attacked or something is failing, and I don���t know why. I might ask why someone is mean to me or explain all the factors that are out of my control and, therefore, not my fault. My husband is the Interrogator. When he feels pressured, he demands data and documented proof for the most minor statement and talks over every attempt to respond.
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If you are in a relationship, chances are you know how the other will respond to a tense situation, and they know the same about you. That makes it super easy to push each other���s buttons and to stay in circular arguments that never get resolved.
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If you want to change the dynamic, Mr. Redfield suggests that you change your control drama. It works!
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Now, when my husband goes into Interrogator mode, I might become Aloof by leaving the room or simply not responding until things are more relaxed. It drives him crazy! And yet, the dynamic changes within a short period of time, and we have a more fruitful conversation.
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That���s the short-term approach.
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The longer-term approach comes from understanding how your control drama came into being and if it is still working for or against you. If this is a response you learned as a child, it was probably effective then. But what about now?
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Let���s take a look together at your control drama and the scenarios most likely to trigger it. There are healthier ways to interact that will get you closer to your goals.

Mary

If Only I Had More Caffeine…

…Or more protein powder in my shake, or more of something external to enhance my slow performance on my Peloton bike.

Then I heard myself.

I was looking for an external fix to something that meant today I would be a little slower and perform at a different pace, in accordance with my body. With that realization, I could let myself be what I needed right then.

A slow day doesn���t make me slow. A wish for an outside fix seems normal enough. However, I just needed to accept what was true for me at that moment.

How often do we shame ourselves rather than accept where we are? Give ourselves credit for showing up and doing our best, not for all time, but for today?

Do you wish you had an external fix for something happening in your life? Silver bullets are rare and usually a one-time fix. Accepting yourself exactly as is with gratitude and appreciation will get you further than shaming yourself or relying on external fixes.

My clients work to find their strengths, how to lead with them, accept what is and what is not in their make-up for a day or ever, and move forward with a sense of accomplishment regardless of performance.

Could you benefit from this approach? If so, let���s chat. A discovery call is only a click away.

Mary

Cancel Your Subscription to Other People���s Issues

You are not responsible for others��� issues unless you agree to it.

I have a client making huge decisions about the care of a loved one. This person is barraged by another family member���s opinions and outright anger even though they do not participate in the care (or the expense.) With help from trance work and journaling, he has come to appreciate how much that person���s opinion only carries weight when he allows it. Otherwise, it is all noise and bother.

Ridiculous amounts of noise and bother that created a seemingly insurmountable barrier to moving forward.

My client finally decided to cancel his subscription to this person���s issues. Amen! No more walking on eggshells.

It���s not easy. It is an awakening that comes in steps.

A strong desire to be done with the situation.A willingness to understand your role in the situation.Preparations to behave differently.The courage to move forward in a new way.

Are you ready to be done with another���s issues? Are you ready to create forward momentum in your life and career?

I���m here for you. Let���s get started!

Mary

Believe in Overnight Sensations?

You and I know there’s no such thing as an overnight sensation, right?

There are the occasional flashes in the pan, but a true ���sensation��� is discovered after much trial and error, sweat and toil, and downright persistence on the part of the individual.

The good news is that it is never too late to be sensational.

My most successful coaching clients continue to consider what’s next in their quest to be their very best. Each desires to become even more sensational, and each gets to define what that means for them.

So, what do you need to be sensational?

A true success includes every level of one���s existence: professional, personal, spiritual, emotional, physical. It requires staying focused on what matters most and removing barriers (so often the shoulds and oughts that live in our head) and trusting your own instincts about which next step to take.

If you are ready to remove obstacles that keep you from greatness, it’s time for us to chat.

Mary