Mary Flanagan Gleason's Blog, page 2

Bill of Responsibilities

We are all in this together. Whatever this is.

With so much talk lately about the Bill of Rights, I decided to focus on a Bill of Responsibilities. I remember when my oldest daughter announced that she had studied her rights in her high school class regarding obtaining housing, a credit card, and other privileges. I was happy for her and then asked her what they had told her about her responsibilities once she obtained these things. It was a short conversation.

With everything we have, we must also give.

There is an inherent give and take in equal measures that must be observed; otherwise, we become very out of balance with our environment, our relationships, even our agreement. You must keep up your end of the bargain.

When we get food, we give thanks to all who made this meal possible. When we get a house, we become good neighbors to ensure mutual safety. When we are awarded financial credit, we must pay our bill.

My personal Bill of Responsibilities includes (but not limited to)

forgivenesskindness because we need each othernonjudgment because judgment is not mine to renderusing my privilege to stick up for those who cannot defend themselves against oppressiongratitude for all living things because I did not get here aloneusing my higher power to live a more gracious and courteous life

These are not merely part of a moral code. They are obligations.

What does your Bill include?

Once you identify where you are out of balance (such as blame, anger, greed, jealousy, or possessiveness), it becomes easier to see what you need to do to act more responsibly.

We are all in this together. You and me. Once we acknowledge that, the world gets a little safer.

Mary

Soul Agreements

Are you curious to know more about your chosen family?  The one you were born into?

���Wait, what?  I chose my family?���

Yes, you did. We all did. Even in the most dysfunctional situations.

My husband and I have been siblings for many lifetimes, and this time, we decided to support each other as husband and wife. In our early years, people said we acted more like siblings, and now I know why. I also remember hearing a loud click in my head the day I met him and knew we would marry.

My oldest daughter came into this lifetime to let me be the mom for a change and for her to be patient with me. It’s a significant shift, but the dynamic works to make us both more sympathetic to each other’s role.

Then there is my son, who wanted to be an only child, a promise I���m sure I never made, but I think he thought he could convince me of upon arrival. (He was cute enough.) His sister was already in high school, so he probably figured he would be in the clear in no time. I believe we agreed to work together to learn to share our hearts and our toys.

Three years and two days later, my third and last child was born. She did not so much choose me as her mom as she did her vessel to get here. She arrived with a plan and asked only that I help her reach the peanut butter until she could make other arrangements. Unfortunately, she received more interference than she had anticipated, but we managed to make it work. And I am constantly in awe of what she accomplishes and how her creative mind works.

All have brought me different gifts, lessons, and supported me as much as I have them.

Do you know your soul agreements? Are you curious to know more about your chosen family?

Yes, even if your birth family is a nightmare, there was a contract in place and a purpose to be served. Exploring this often leads to gratitude, understanding, and appreciation for the lessons.

If you’d like to know more about your contracts and their purposes, schedule a time with me, and let’s find out.

Mary

A Weed is Just a Misplaced Plant

It���s all a matter of perspective.

I used to walk past an undeveloped lot along a small lake that led to a fishing boat launch. Every spring, the lot was overgrown with dandelions, and their sheer number and simple beauty took my breath away. But, on my own lawn, dandelions made it look unkempt.

If you feel out of place, it may be that you���re just not in a setting where you can be appreciated. If people keep suggesting that you be other than what you are, you may want to go somewhere where you won���t be treated like a weed.

We don���t all belong in every setting, nor must we bring our full selves into every situation.

I can be loud. I can be blunt (yes, I am aware.) I can be a lot. I can also respect your space and come visit for a while without feeling as if I’m being confined to a smaller shell. I cannot, however, live in that space for more than a short visit.

Lush lawns are beautiful, every bit as beautiful as a field of untamed wildflowers. It���s really a matter of deciding where you shine best to know where to plant yourself.

If you find you are trying to fit in somewhere that feels unnatural, don’t let anyone treat you like a weed. Keep going until you feel that knowing sense of belonging.

Mary

Be the Salve You Wish to See in the World

When I feel the sting of sunburn on my shoulder, I reach for an aloe leaf. When I wake in the middle of the night, revisiting things I wish I had done differently forty years ago, I turn on meditation music. When my feelings are hurt, I reach out to a friend for comfort.

These salves coat my raw nerves and anxiety and highlight what I most need at that moment.

Sometimes, they surprise me as if I didn’t know I needed them. Like when  I see Greta Thunberg reacting to the plight of others with humanity, her wisdom and activism bring much-needed hope. When I hear someone sincerely apologize to another for their pain, humanity is restored, if only for a moment.

The challenge becomes how can I provide a restorative and heart-felt salve in the world? To my family? To my neighbor? To perfect strangers?

My salve often comes as deep listening to another’s pain. Believing their story even if I find it unbelievable. To simply show up without having to own their pain as my own. To pass along what has been offered to me.

Salves are rarely a solution, yet they are appreciated and necessary.

Acting as a salve is about recognizing the humanity in others without it ever having to be your shared experience.

Such measures can come from within with kinder words and thoughts to and about yourself.

What comforts do you offer? What salve do you need?

Mary

On the Cusp of Rain and Sun

There I was, ten-year-old Mary, stuck in the back seat of the family sedan with my two brothers when we stopped at a red light. We were heading to a friend���s house who just got a new pool. We were excited and impatient.

And then the weirdest thing happened.

It started to rain ��� but only on the back half of the car!

Ahead was sunshine; behind us was dark and rainy. A downpour. For just a moment, we existed on the cusp of sun and rain, of dark and light, of good and evil (evil, if you’re trying to go swimming.)

It was magical, mesmerizing, unexpected, and difficult to reconcile. The day we were having now depended on which window we looked through.

Another take on the glass half-full or half-empty question. Both are true, but which perspective serves me better? If I were a gardener in a drought, I might choose rain. If I’m on my way to swimming, I’ll choose the sun.

What are some of the little lessons you���ve picked up along the way? Where are the incidental choices that make a big difference for you?

Mary

Seek Truth, Not Validation

                                       -Richard Feynman, Theoretical Physicist

I love it when scientists confront the unknowning-ness of the world. Richard Feynman, a noted theoretical physicist, discussed his preference for avoiding experts in favor of the curious. He didn���t want to get stuck in what one thinks they know, but what could be true if they didn’t know anything.

As humans, we are all more comfortable with what we think we know, especially if we believe it to be true. But what if���

��� you continued to challenge your truth, searching for what is possible rather than confirmation of what you believe. We find what we seek. If we seek to confirm the world is against us, we’ll find it. If we seek to be loved, we will find that, too. If we seek to validate that our story is the truth, then it is, and there is no possibility of new information altering this.

���  you took the story of your childhood, your marriage, your religious beliefs about God/Spirit/Source and opened it up to curiosity? What might you learn that you didn’t know before? Inquiry into your own story might reveal where you are stuck or what holds you back. Beliefs left unchallenged are like putting blinders on to new information, insights, and possibilities.

��� you switched the channel on the television and watched a different news source, a movie about another culture, or, better yet, turned off the television and journaled your way to your soul? What might you find there?

��� you leaned in when others are talking to understand how a different perspective could also be true?

My daily journal has led me to some very interesting understandings and ‘aha’ moments that have made me see my relationships in a completely different light. The same is true for meditation and hypnotherapy. All have and continue to lead me to an ever-evolving understanding of life.

If this sounds like something you’d like to explore, I’d love to discuss it further. Just set up a complimentary discovery call on my website. Many wonderful things are waiting for you to discover.

Mary

Follow the E-x-p-a-n-s-i-o-n

My word for 2025 is flow. That doesn���t mean I go with the flow, as in not resisting things that do not serve me well. It’s more like finding the flow in the places I wish to explore and or results I want to pursue.

Listening to a podcast the other day, a woman who had a near death experience said her greatest lesson was to follow the expansion. That really resonated with me. An even better word than flow. Expansion.

Expansion is what happens when flow meets growth.

When I set out to develop a community of like-minded people to help me through the state of our country, what I felt was greater than flow. As we began to meet, I felt myself learning and incorporating new ideas that felt on point and instructive.

My question to you is, where are you feeling resistance? Are you not getting the career opportunities you want? Is it a relationship where another refuses to change or to see your perspective? That resistance may be what���s for your greatest good, trying to lead you toward another avenue with greater flow.

Where do you find your heart expanding, your ideas being greeted by open and curious minds? Where are you challenged to consider new ways of being that bring community and depth to your world?

Follow the expansion. It is always for your greatest good and highest purpose.

When you read this, I will just be returning from Sedona. In the vortexes there, I know I will feel expansion and renewal. Where will you go to find your flow?

Mary

The Flowers Committee Matters

Every Sunday, I took the kids to church, and some lovely people took my children for ninety minutes while my brain rested and my soul restored.

Off to the side of the sanctuary, I would often stare at the beautiful flowers arranged by the Flower Committee, a volunteer group of women who loved gardening and making arrangements. The arrangements were always a lovely focal point and, on some days, helped move the sermon along.

One Sunday during the summer, there were no flowers. In most circumstances, I would not have noticed, but on this Sunday morning, I did. And I missed seeing them. They had become part of my soul’s weekly healing without my realizing it.

My mother always had fresh flowers in the house. That could be where I learned it. A welcome, loving home has fresh flowers.

There were many volunteers and professionals that made for a meaningful service, but the flowers, well, they had a special meaning to me. They were the loving touch one might give another at the end of a hard week. Gentle. Present. Non-judgmental. Healing.

Sometimes it is the simple sharing of one’s passion or talents that makes a significant difference.

Never think that what you have to offer does not matter. Church staff keep the place running but without the gift of the Flower Committee, it would not have been the same.

Struggling with how what you have to offer might fit in? Let’s talk.

Mary

The Story of Scars

Scars collect over a lifetime. Many fade, but most of us can readily remember how they came to be as if it were yesterday.

Stitches, stretch marks, incisions, tussles with nature, tussles with siblings, all remind me of my history on my way to today. These mark my path, the things that made me stronger, the things I survived.

My scars deserve my gratitude. They are evidence of my resilience and recovery. Some are reminders of how much worse it could have been.

There are scars on the inside, too. They are the encounters that healed over, leaving a reminder but no longer festering.

Are you healed inside and out? Or do you harbor wounds that happened in the past? To do so is to re-inflict pain every time you think about it. To refuse healing. It is a way to remain a victim.

When we commit to healing our bodies and souls, we commit to letting go of the pain and keeping the lesson.

My external scars remind me that I have three beautiful children, I was once a bratty little sister,��got too close��to a cactus, the mammogram scare, and to buy the pre-cut bagels. My internal scars remind me of when I drew boundaries about what I was not willing to do for love, helped me to redefine love, and gave me a sense of strength.

When you consider your scars, both internally and externally, what is the story they tell you? About the times you were slighted or when you healed?

Want your scars to tell a different story? Let’s see if I can help.

Mary

You are Pure Magic

You are so good at casting spells. You do it every day with your thoughts. Ever had those times when things get terrible, you say to yourself, “I knew that was going to happen.”

I do not mean that your thoughts brought on an earthquake or tsunami (although, I suppose, under the right conditions���). What I mean is that whatever you believe will happen to you will.

I���ll probably get sick. It will probably cost too much. I will probably hate it here. Nobody here will like me. I don���t fit in.

All are self-fulfilling spells. So are���

I’m going to like it here. I remain healthy. I always find my niche. I make the best of this situation. I accept others as they are. Others accept me.

All are self-fulfilling spells. So are��� Your thoughts are powerful and considered requests by your guides. Just remember that you have the magic to create chaos or peace, kindness or injustice, acceptance or intolerance in your part of the world. In your lifetime. In your relationship with others.

In a meditation the other night, I asked Walt Disney to send me a message. In my hand, he placed Tinkerbell’s wand, the one at the start of every movie and commercial that she waves over the Magic Kingdom, and it comes to life with beautiful colors and sparkles. Mr. Disney���s message was for me not to let things get dour, to brighten up things regardless of what is happening around me. To find the bright side and move forward from there. After all, someone has got to bring the sparkle.

It is my choice to accept the wand, which I happily do. It is my goal to bring more color to the world regardless of what’s happening around me, not in a Pollyanna way but in a way that brings hope and confidence and shines a path forward.

It���s positively magic.

How do you wish to wield your magic?

Mary