Mary Flanagan Gleason's Blog

Say Yes to Little Offerings

I had a conversation with a friend a while back about picking up pennies. She said she didn���t because it was only a penny. She conceded that, if found, she would definitely pick up a dollar bill. That led to a conversation about receiving.

I asked her if there were other times when she didn’t recognize small gifts.

When we ignore the little gifts, it does not bode well for greater generosity in the future.

Pick it up. Give thanks. Keep going.

Would you not accept a dandelion from a child? A kiss from a toddler? A sentimental card from a friend? Of course not.

Pick up the penny. Take the flower. Open the card. Give thanks. Keep going.

The more you say yes to the little things, the more you lay the groundwork for other kinds of abundance to find you. If you dance with the guy with the skinny legs, the more inclined others will be to ask you to dance. If you reject him, well then, why would others risk approaching you?

Pick up the penny. Take the flower. Dance. Give thanks. Keep going.

If you���ve never found a penny, it���s possible you haven���t noticed. Offerings come in all different sizes from all different sources, and they enrich your life, whether it is a penny, an offer to dance, or a winning lottery ticket.

Pick up the penny.  Take the flower. Dance. Say yes. Give thanks. Keep going.

Take a moment to reflect on the smaller gifts that come your way daily. A penny, a smile, an offer to assist. Consider also how you can offer small gifts yourself. Maybe you will pick up the penny and give it to a child.

Mary

My Monthly Honesty Tour

I���ve started a new practice.

Once a month, I take fifteen or so minutes to go through my closet and have an honest conversation with myself about specific items.

I assess what is never going to fit again, what never really looked good on me, or what I no longer need. Last month, it was shoes. Anything with a high heel had to go. My back, feet, and podiatrist have been telling me this for a long time. Uncle.

Honesty tours have helped to thin the closet while regaining much-needed hangers and a better grip on reality. Such tours are not for the faint of heart, as the name honesty implies.

The secret is to not do it all at once. A little bit at a time works just fine. It allows me the dignity I require and staves off any shame.

I do honesty tours in my journal, too. It allows me to be honest with myself sans audience. The ego must take a rest so my soul can speak. Turns out my soul is fluent in gentleness and love.

Parting with things that no longer serve me — whether it is because they no longer fit my body or because they block my path to a more meaningful life ��� is refreshing.

Slow, steady, honest, rewarding.

How do you get honest with yourself?

Mary

Cardinal Mooney High School Class of 1975

I recall when my father attended his fiftieth high school reunion. I thought he was ancient. I was young and thought the fiftieth of anything was ridiculous.

And now it was my turn.

I spent Saturday night struggling to put names to faces. Even though it was legal to walk around reading name tags, sometimes I could recognize the face, and sometimes it was the name. Oddly, it was sometimes the voices that did it for me.

Surprisingly, the reunion filled me with a deep sense of gratitude. We shared tales of loss, hardship, multiple marriages, long roads to recovery, successes, joys, grandchildren, and so much more. A lot of life happens in fifty years, even if it didn’t happen to me. The past fifty years have been mostly good. Not perfect, not without trials and tribulations, but also filled with love, safety, and sans catastrophe.

But What really got me was the very long list of classmates we lost over time. It really made me sad. Some of those were people I had hoped to see that night. One had passed just the day before.

Here are my reunion take aways:

Life is short.

No two lives are alike.

Fifty years goes by fast and slow and in all directions. 

I left realizing I will not likely see these people again. If we were to have another reunion, many more will be on the list of the deceased. Many will have suffered more tragedies. Maybe even me.

Humbling. Grateful. Blessed.

These are what I take away from the experience. Go to your high school reunion if you can. There is much there for you to reflect upon and gain.

Mary

If it���s not a HELL YES, it���s a no.

Simple words to live by. You have your obligations, sure, but then there is the rest of your life.

Oh, wait, maybe it’s your obligations, too.

Do you love your job? Are you doing too much for your children, family, or otherwise capable adults? If it���s more than you want to do, it���s a no.

For me, travel is a hell yes.

Volunteering for something that isn’t a part of my passions is a no. Volunteering for a political candidate that represents what I most want to see happen in the world is a hell yes.

What is a hell yes for you?

What should you say no to?

The distinction is the secret to a fulfilling life.

Of course, I help out here and there, but how I spend the majority of my most limited resources ��� my time and money ��� is the result of a rising up from the heart in a glorious HELL YES. Count me in!

It is a simple formula that makes life easier, especially as we age and realize this lifetime is fleeting.

A resounding yes doesn’t necessarily mean all fun and games. It means you are willing to accept the consequences of your choice. I am happy to protest, be arrested, or whatever it takes to make the changes I am most passionate about. The ones I can live with when it is time for my life review.

 I encourage you to take an inventory of your calendar, checkbook, and most importantly, your heart, and see if you can’t bring them into alignment.

You, my friend, are a Hell Yes.

Mary

STOP being so needy!

“Be careful whose attention you seek, for they become your captors.”

That is one of those fortune cookie Buddha sayings I try to live by. Airbnb should do the same.

As my husband and I travel throughout the Northeast this summer, we are being driven crazy by the constant text surveys from various hotels and tour companies.

How was your check-in experience?How was your stay?How was your check-out experience?Would you recommend us to a friend?Please leave us a review.

Asking for feedback at every turn is extremely needy.

I���d be okay if these vendors could send one survey after the full experience, rather than constantly asking for approval at every turn in the process. Vendors, you can be sure that if there is something that needs immediate attention, your customers will let you know.

Can you imagine doing that in your daily life with your spouse? Your children? Your coworkers? Your boss?

How exhausting! For you and for them.

Seeking constant words of affirmation and relying on others’ perceptions to bolster our self-esteem means living by others’ opinions.

My love language is words of affirmation, but honestly, I know when I���m doing a good job. I can ask for input when necessary, but three times a day is too much, too clingy, too needy.

Live from your soul���s purpose, not from external ratings. I promise you, life will get a lot easier. 

Mary

Artistic Creativity is So Random

So much of what I���ve noticed about museum paintings is about brush strokes and colors, contour, depth perception, and use of space.

But while visiting the Chicago Art Museum this past week, I learned that the more abstract art can be a way of expressing the inexpressible, the inconceivable, raw emotions. As one sign explained, Van Gogh was among the first to really understand the use of color to express emotion, not just capture a scene.

Sometimes, it is about letting out one’s demon or sending warnings to others about what is being asked of you. I was taken with one artist’s eclectic use of materials, inspired by his experiences in World War II and Korea. I felt compelled to read the descriptions because it would be rude and dismissive not to hear his story. To diminish it or worst of all, not believe it.

I always wanted art to be something. To recognize what was being expressed. I sought to find a piece of myself in another’s work. But it’s not about me. It is about the artist, the creator.

When people tell you their story, believe them. When they spend their lifetime expressing their story, pay attention. When you don’t understand their story, ask for more details. Ask about their inspiration.

Creativity isn’t just about being clever. We all must find a way to express our emotions and reality, and share them with others. As fellow human beings, it is also our job to accept what others express.

You do not need to be a sculptor or a painter to express yourself. Write, sing, dance, talk. But please do tell us. There is someone out there who can relate, and others of us who need to know that their personal stories are not all there is in life.

Expressively yours,

Mary

The Weight of Your Body is Nothing Compared to the Weight of Your Thoughts

More than anything physical, it is our thoughts that hold us down. The heaviest of all thoughts is fear.

The opposite of love isn���t hate. It���s fear. It judges in ways that are not helpful. It mocks us. It is debilitating.

We are afraid to be ourselves, fearful of rejection, scared of obstacles big and small. Afraid to change and afraid to stay where we are.

The best way to lighten one���s thoughts is with hope.

In the movie Cast Away, Tom Hanks��� character, after being stranded on a remote island for four years, finally garners the strength and courage to overcome the breaker waves, those giant, harsh waves that break as they near land. The ones fearless surfers ride to shore — if they don���t wipe out. But he knew that access to the life he wanted lay just beyond those breakers, and he made a plan. In the process, he lost Wilson, his beloved basketball-made-human. The truth is, he didn���t need him anymore. It was time to let go.

To overcome fear, try putting your brain on an exercise plan. Every day, do something that scares you.

Make that phone call, write that letter, ask for help. Breathe. Be stronger or weaker, whichever is harder. Forgive. First yourself, then others. Go inward. Start or stop being productive. Seek opposing views and listen. Change the channel.

Lighten the load on your mind, and you will feel lighter all over.

Breathe.

Hope.

Do.

Mary

One Mug versus Dozens of Beer Glasses���

I have a favorite tea mug. I like the feel, the heft, and the specific taste it delivers.

The glazing in some mugs cracks and leaks an earthy taste. In contrast, others maintain their internal glazing and let the tea flavor stand alone. It is not my favorite mug to look at, but I still like it.

In our kitchen cupboard, we have about a dozen mugs on one half-shelf. Four match, eight have various logos.

My husband has many favorite beer glasses, but I don’t always appreciate the difference between them. Yes, I have learned the difference between a pilsner pint, a Kolsch stange, a lager stein, and a stout snifter, but I’m not too concerned about the glass pairing as long as the beer is good and the glass is clean.

As a homebrewer, my husband can count me among his biggest fans and worst students. In contrast to the mugs, we have two full cupboards dedicated to glassware, including anywhere from four to eight of each style of various designs. (Apparently, we must be prepared in case Oktoberfest breaks out.)

So, here we are. I with my choice teacup, and he with his bevy of glassware, living under one roof. Still, we manage to move forward together.  

It���s funny how we can be so particular in opposite areas, especially ones that in the end do not change the trajectory of our lives. It is comforting to say that we come together on the important issues and enjoy the discussion of silly things for which there is no prize, nor agreement required.

Let the little things slide. Enjoy the differences. Save your energy for the big stuff. Pour yourself a mug of tea or a pint of beer and relax.

Cheers,

Mary

���Get off the cross. We need the wood.���

                                                          James van Praagh, Intuitive Medium

My client had only one question for Spirit. ���Why me?���

The answer from Spirit was less than she hoped for.  ���Why do you allow others to treat you badly?���

Sometimes we experience being a victim, but it is not our burden to carry. It is our challenge to overcome and to learn from. It is how we learn about healthy boundaries.

After a heinous crime in a parking garage near my work, a police officer came to give us safety tips. She told about taking statements from victims who would say things like ���I was late for work this morning, had a fight with my boss, the sitter needs to get home, and now this.” Yes, and now this. You were distracted by the burdens, making yourself all the more vulnerable. Unable to see what���s coming, and possibly believe you do not deserve better.

The officer’s story was not intended to blame the victim. It was meant to help us avoid becoming a victim.

Compared to many people, I have lived a charmed life. That does not mean I haven’t experienced loss, betrayal, and other traumas that made me want to curl up in a fetal position. But I learned that I did not want to surrender my power, and that is the cost of not learning the lesson and taking charge.

���Get off the cross. We need the wood,��� challenges us to make better use of our traumas. How can we learn from those experiences rather than carry our mental and sometimes literal crosses throughout time? Wouldn���t the wood be better used for fuel, light, or lodging?

Do you have a cross that you are tired of carrying?

This is where hypnotherapy can help you imagine a way out, a better vision for yourself���a more constructive use for that energy (and cross-carrying requires lots of energy).

If you���re ready to surrender your burdens to live a life of personal power, set up a no-cost discovery call with me to see if hypnotherapy can help.

Mary

Braiding Sweetgrass is My New Church

Every morning, I read something inspirational, right after journaling my dreams and other hopes for the day. Inspiration might come in a paragraph, a few pages, or a poem.

For the past few weeks, I have been reading just one chapter of Braiding Sweetgrass. It is a long, moving prayer offered by one mother to Mother Earth and my soul. My heart, my head, and my spirit deepen and expand with every chapter.

It is a must-read for those of us who are consciously growing our minds and deepening our spirituality. Braiding Sweetgrass brings us back to the magic and essential belonging to the Earth and all her inhabitants, including Tree, Moss Spider, Maple, and Cattail, and their connections to everything in life that is important to know.

It is an instruction manual for motherhood and nurturing; on giving and receiving.

Every morning, I read another chapter, slowly, often rereading whole pages before moving on. Author Robin Wall Kimmerer, a scientist raised with Native American rituals that recognize the importance of gratitude and reciprocity in ways most of us are not, pulls you into the world through her eyes, an experience not to be missed. She talks about the arrogance of science, (in which she holds a Ph.D. in environmental science) in contrast to the lessons of Mother Earth and the deep indigenous knowing of the Potawatomi people, and her desire that we learn to marry the two into a more humble and generous relationship.

As I pass the halfway mark in this book, I find myself praying that more chapters will appear such that it never ends. She so gently braids worlds, thoughts, and experiences into words that make me grateful and envious of her writing abilities and expansive knowledge.

This is my offering to you. I could not keep this book, this prayer, this church to myself. I hope you will read it, too, slowly and with deep respect for the author���s amazing abilities to share her world with us.

Please let me know what books inspire you. I am always looking to add to my list because, alas, this book will end, and I will be open to new inspirations once again.

Mary