Mary Flanagan Gleason's Blog, page 21

Five Ways to Get Unstuck

This week I had the pleasure of talking with nonprofit executives from across the country on The American Nonprofit Show. We talked about how to get “unstuck,” something so many of my clients ask for help with. (You can listen to the broadcast here https://vimeo.com/577724950.)

Here are five tips I shared with viewers. None of them hard, all of them are designed to keep you moving forward.

Tip #1: Is it true?
Is whatever is holding you back really true?
So often we believe something about ourselves that goes unchallenged for far too long. It can be a comment when you were eight years made by your third-grade teacher that has become a long-held truth about yourself. “That’s just the way I am.” “I can’t help it.” But, if you sit with that for a while, you will see what about it is true.

      Try this: Close your eyes and rewatch that scene as if in a movie. What else was going on around you at the time that would have caused someone to say that? Did it really have anything to do with you? Don’t relive it as a child, watch it as an adult and discern what happened. It is surprising how it easy it can be to let go of this belief, this block.

Tip #2: One vs Two Door Decisions
I recently read an interview with Jeff Bezos about decision-making. He uses the one-versus-two-door thought process surrounding decisions. If we think that it must be correct, or the world will end – that’s one door decision-making. Point of no return.

If you think you have enough info to take a chance and can adapt as you go or even change your mind, that’s two-door decision making. Using two-door decision-making is more likely to guarantee that will keep you moving. One door decision-making almost guarantees you will remain stuck.

      Try this: Just think of a decision that you are afraid to make. Challenge if it is really all or nothing. Ask yourself if you will die if you make the wrong decision. Will another person die? Will the world stop if you make the wrong decision? Chances are great that you will survive, the world will keep turning, and you will have other options on the other side of that decision.

Tip #3: Use your WHOLE brain
Don’t get hung up on just the facts. Give equal consideration to intuition. Too often we plunge ahead because all the data indicates we should. That’s like leaving half your brain in the car.

When you take time to consult both the left and right brains you get two different perspectives on the same issue. The left is the data you need. The right is less direct.

      Try this: Take a decision that’s in front of you now and just picture it in your left brain. What do you know about it? Costs, scheduling, staff hours, etc. Now think of that same decision in just the right brain. This requires that you be silent for a few moments and see what you notice. Maybe it is an image, or a song lyric, or even a sensation in your body. Does it tell you to look further or does it say everything is good? Give both the left and right information equal weight when deciding.

Tip #4: Take a physical inventory
If a situation or problem gives you an upset stomach, a headache, lower back pain, etc. That’s even more information. If a situation makes you breathe easy, like a weight has been lifted, or gives you a bit of positive energy, that too is information. Listen to your body.

      Try this: Take the decision you were considering in step 3 and hold that thought. Now, consider that thought in the top of your head, your throat, your heart, stomach, lower back.  Does the energy flow from one to the other? Does it expand? Contract? Get stuck? Notice where and how you feel it. Each place has a meaning. That’s also your intuition.

Tip #5: Stop Waiting for Other People to Change
If you keep doing the same thing expecting different results, it’s not going to work. If everything has changed and you keep doing the same things, it’s not going to work.
If your idea of a solution is when everyone else changes what they’re doing, it’s not going to work.

You must be the change. Embrace change. Take a risk. Leap.

      Try this: Consider how much easier your life would be if only other things, situations, or people changed.  Then consider what you might change to achieve your goals without waiting for others to be other than who they are.

Let me help you get unstuck. Let’s create expanded awareness for forward momentum.

The Power of the Present Moment

Last week, my mother approached the reality of leaving her longtime home for assisted living the way the prisoner steps around the puddle on the way to the guillotine.

She was still in her home, still alive, still living in the now.

A few days before the move, Mom made sure the living room chair legs lined up with the impressions in the carpet, knowing full well that the carpets are old and the new owners will rip them up shortly after taking possession. But for that moment, they were still her carpets and under her care.

For me, this small act serves as a reminder of what it can mean to live in the present moment.

Even when you cannot ignore tomorrow’s reality, you might be missing the power of today.

Eckhart Tolle suggests that worry is the most useless emotion. “It is either from a past you cannot change or a future you cannot know. Worry ignores the power of now.”

Are you giving away the power of today in favor of worrying about things you cannot change or know? Do you surrender your power to the fear of the unknown?

Here are some simple ideas to consider when faced with a transition that seems beyond your control.

Find those things you have power over right now. It can be a small thing like still caring for what is or big things like what to bring with you into the next adventure. These may make you realize you have more options and control than you previously thought.Stay focused on what is yours to address and within your power to change. If the goal is to change an unchangeable situation or require another person to behave differently, you will have given away the of power now.Allow for hope. Very few things are forever.  Think of this impending next step as temporary, and a new one may appear at any time. As they say in baseball, it ain’t over til it’s over.

If you feel powerless or victimized by what is happening around you, I would love to share some of mom’s secrets with you. Just set up a complimentary call, and let’s begin to discern what is happening for you and find some strategies to help you feel the power of today.

Mary

The Era of Mass Resignation

I heard an employment expert say that COVID ushered in “The Era of Mass Resignation.”

Working from home, people got in touch with work-life balance in a whole new way. Many realized that work was not the most important thing in their life. Maybe, after removing all the socialization they enjoyed in the office, they discovered the work itself was not fulfilling.

Were you among the masses who decided that their job or career path isn’t the one they want? If so, did you also find what it is you do want from your career/work life?

When I work with my executives as an intuition coach, we start with the vision which you are working toward… That positive vision that drives you, that helps you determine what’s important and what’s a distraction. Without a vision, you are just marking time hoping it leads you somewhere you want to be.

With a vision, you are motivated in new and fulfilling ways!

So, what is your vision?

Do you need one? Or maybe you find it is a good time to give your vision a tune up (I recommend this at least once a year to make sure you are still motivated by the same things.) Either way, I have a process that can help you bring your vision into clarity.

Here’s what one client had to say after completing my vision exercises:

“I asked Mary to help me understand why I wasn’t getting promotions like I had in the past. After working on my vision for myself, I found my current job doesn’t really play a role in my vision for the future. Now I know my current job is one that allows me to pursue my real dreams while still paying the bills. In fact, a promotion might not work for me.”

Intuition plays a great role in helping you to make decisions. It works best when it knows what the end game is.

Set up your complementary discovery call today and get the clarity a true vision generates.

Some “Winning Strategies” are a Sure-Fire Way to Fail

My mom is a master of strategy. It has served her well in most areas of her life.

Until now.

Not wanting to move to assisted living, mom devised what she felt was a winning strategy that required everyone else to change their situation to help care for her at home so she would not have to change her situation.

I get it. And even more kudos to her if it had worked.

So I wonder, what “winning” strategy are you devising that requires another to change?

Maybe you’re waiting for your partner, your boss, your friend, your co-worker to realize that your way is best, or your desires are more important than theirs, and they should get on board.

Sometimes it is waiting for another to notice you or to say a kind word. Other times it is much bigger, like asking another to change their life to suit your needs. The least successful of all is waiting for another to become what you want them to become to fill a need you have.

I had a client who could see how to improve things at her company, and no one would listen to her. Every day she rose again to continue hitting her head against the wall to “make them see how right she is.” In our time together, she realized she was trying to change a whole company to do what she believed was best. Realizing that wasn’t going to happen, she changed employers to one that worked the way she envisioned and found greater flow and acceptance.

As a bonus, my client was able to see other areas of her life where she was trying to change others and why it would never work.

When you wait for others to change to make us happier or more comfortable, it puts all the power for your success in another’s hands. It doesn’t matter if they want that power or not. It only matters that it is not in your hands.

Winning strategies are about how you can adapt, adjust, and call on your inner resolve to make your life happy, productive, or successful.

If you want to take back your power and form a winning strategy, let’s talk about how I can help. That first step is as easy as scheduling a complimentary 30-minute discovery call.

Did you know that women’s heart attacks have different symptoms than men’s?

Below is a link to a great article about biases when diagnosing women’s health. It makes the case that what medicine accepts as “normal” is often based on symptoms as would likely be displayed by a trim white male.

This doesn’t just happen in medicine. Sometimes we think we know what is true or correct but it’s really limited to our experience.

I want to challenge you to think about what is the “normal” by which you may judge others’ complaints, experiences, situations? We are all guilty.

You and I are being called to listen more deeply, accept more readily, and explore more seriously the experiences of others.

It is more than possible that two people walking into the same room at the same time are experiencing the same event quite differently and both are equally legitimate.

Where we go astray is when we assume both are having the same experience.

If you find yourself misjudging a person, place, or situation but aren’t sure why it’s a good time to schedule a discovery call.

If you find yourself running into misjudging a person, place, or situation but aren’t sure why, it’s a good time to schedule a discovery call.

It’s not bad to have a sense of what’s normal, it’s just that it’s important to challenge it every now and then.

You might be surprised at how freeing it is to let go to some of those precepts. https://www.nytimes.com/2021/06/08/books/review/unwell-women-elinor-cleghorn.html?referringSource=articleShare

Belief is the code that programs the mind

I read in a horoscope today. I won’t tell which sign it was attributed to because, well, that’s not the point. The point is that it is a good reminder for all of us.

Here it is:

“Belief is the code that programs the mind. Once a thing is believed, the perceived world automatically organizes around that belief, which becomes like sheet music that the world plays its song to.”

We are all acting and reacting to a belief in every situation and wherever we look we will find evidence of its correctness. We find what we seek.

So, when meeting resistance, maybe it is because what is coming to us is bumping up against a belief that needs to be reviewed.

Updating beliefs, challenging long held truths, is often just what we need to allow ourselves room to grow.

If you are making decisions based on a certain belief, you may be missing or dismissing important information.

As an intuition coach, I can help you challenge your beliefs in a safe, confidential, and respectful process. Schedule your free 30 minute discovery call here. Let’s see if we can make room for you to grow.

Managing New Realities and Setting Expectations

Sometimes, things happen in our lives that are beyond our control. The loss of a loved one, the loss of a job, breakups, injury. All sorts of things. The adjustment period can be very long and difficult depending on the level of trauma and our willingness to work within the new limitations.

Sometimes we even find a gift in this new way of being. But that is often a long way off.

Then there are some things that make accepting and adjusting nearly impossible. For my 89-year-old mother, there is great sadness at having to leave her cherished home. The thought of making a new start elsewhere is more than daunting.

I believe mom can and will do it. It will just take a while.

This is where expectations come in. What is reasonable to expect of oneself or others depends on the situation. Regardless, patience and kindness are always a good plan.

Be kind to yourself.

Be kind to others trying to assist.

Be kind.

Are you being kind to yourself? Are your thoughts as positive and supportive as you would offer up to a good friend? If you would like to know more about how you can be your own best advocate while experiencing new realities and managing expectations, let’s talk.

REMOVING BARRIERS TO SUCCESS

Have you hit a barrier in your career or personal life?

Sometimes barriers are big walls that are hard to see your way over or around. Other times they are so small and yet they pose the same level of threat.

I had a client who went through life always feeling like he was relegated to the back seat. When we took a serious dive into this “truth” with the use of guided hypnotherapy, what he discovered was so small he was shocked!

When he was three, his grandmother, who was taking care of him and his siblings while caring for his mother who had become ill, she turned to him and said, “It’s just not your turn right now.”  

That’s it. 

And for the next forty-five years, he carried that as a “truth” —  that it was never going to be his turn. As an adult he was able to see why his grandmother would say something like that. He also said he never consciously remembered the interaction but there it was and he just knew it where it all started.

Identifying and removing that block has made a significant difference in how he approaches every situation now. He is able to distinguish when someone is asking him to be patient from when someone is saying he may never get his way. His personal and professional relationships improved and his anxiety was significantly lowered. 

Is something holding you back?

A feeling, a fear, a lack of confidence? Sometimes we know why; sometimes “it’s just always been that way.”

In my upcoming workshop, we will explore: 
What is your barrier?
When did that barrier come into your life?
How can you remove it?
Removing barriers creates expanded awareness and forward momentum.

I hope you will join me for this supportive and safe workshop.

You can register here.
Removing Barriers to Success
Wednesday, May 12th, 2021
9:00 am -12 pm PT (12-3 pm ET)
$97

#RemoveBarriers #ReclaimConfidence #ReleaseBLocks 

From Bottom Line to Forward Momentum

When the Boeing 737-max crashed, they took much of Boeing with them. They also took their long-standing reputation for building with integrity and safety as leading values.

Boeing is the clearest demonstration of the downside of the ROI-based approach to business. When everything comes down to the bottom line, eventually, everything comes down.

They wanted to become profitable and hired CEOs with no engineering background but had great success making money. I’m sure it sounded good at the time, but it is short-term thinking. In addition to building back their reputation and having to earn back trust, investors lost money, employees lost jobs, people lost their lives.

Boeing is a dramatic demonstration of what can happen when we only focus on the bottom line, the numbers, the short-term profits. Yet, it happens to companies of any size.

Welcome to the age of heart-centered leadership. It has an eye on the long haul, the big picture, the future, with an understanding of the tradeoffs for every decision. But you can’t get there with old thinking and bottom-line approaches. Forward-thinking equals forward momentum.

Executive intuition coaching can help you make well-thought-out decisions every day that won’t crash back on your desk with even more problems than when it left.

#INTUITION #HEARTCENTERED #PROBLEMSOLVING
 

Here a coach, there a coach, everywhere a coach coach!

Coach overload? Me, too.

But what else could I call my strategy and skill-building sessions with executives and leaders about improved decision-making processes?

While I still consult and facilitate and offer nonprofit and individual services, I also coach executives from all sectors about the role and value of intuition in the workplace.

I love this article, from the February 2021 FastCo magazine. While the word intuition is never used, it is indeed a great demonstration of what it means to stop, observe the bigger picture, allow for greater input, and then move forward.

In this article Todd McKinnon, CEO of Okta, shares five approaches to decision making. You may say, “I already do that,” to which I say, “bravo!” For others it may sound like the luxury of time to which I say, “you cannot afford the time loss resulting from a bad decision.”

If you would like some coaching on making the best decisions possible, I’m here for you.