Mary Flanagan Gleason's Blog, page 17

���Should I Stay or Should I Go?�������– The Clash

I recently spoke with a client who had a rough year. He felt like walking away from a challenging situation, not of his making but still landing in his lap. Yet, something told him that there was valuable learning here and to hang in there a bit longer.

He was glad he did.

In a past work situation, I believed I could change things if only I found the right formula, the right spin, the right magic. It only required that I change other people���s perspectives. You can be sure that it did not work out well. It was time for me to go.

Whether it is your job or a personal relationship, knowing when to give up is tricky. 

Walking away is not about admitting defeat but recognizing a situation that is no longer for your greatest good. 

If you continue to learn valuable lessons, hang in there. If you are continuing to hit resistance or need others to change to make a situation work, move on. 

If you aren���t sure, schedule a time, and we���ll walk through it together.

Uncertainty and discomfort are a part of life. Constant dissatisfaction and despair are optional.

Mary

���As soon as I saw you, I knew an adventure was about to happen.��� – Winnie the Pooh

That is precisely how I feel when I begin with a new client ��� that an adventure is about to happen.

When working with me, your adventure will include what can sometimes feel like scary introspection followed by positive, life-changing outcomes.

Barriers indeed serve us in some capacity. We don���t change our approach until it no longer works. It takes real courage to let go, even more than hanging on.

A long time ago, someone asked me how I felt about how a co-worker was treating me. I said that I was tough and could handle it. He thought for a moment and said, ���well, if getting really good at being tough is your goal, then you���re in the right position.���

It wasn���t my goal, and shortly after that, I found another job in a different company and felt instant relief. This person could see what I could not. I was in survival mode, making a bigger perspective hard to come by.

That���s where having an intuition coach can play a positive role in your decision to let go. Give yourself permission to have an adventure that leads to greater happiness.

Let���s get started!

Mary

External Validation is for Parking

Buddha teaches us that when we rely on others��� approval, we give away our personal power.

Whenever we feel that need for our spouse, boss, children, or parents to validate us, we instantly hand over our power, waiting for their decision on our self-worth.

We tend to collect the negatives others throw our way as proof that we are not somehow good or worthy, and then we wait for them to change their minds.

We carry the voices and judgments of individuals from our childhood — teachers, parents, peers, siblings — and they are never far away as adults. The slightest indication that we are somehow inadequate, and we instantly resort to that powerless, less-than-competent being.
.
UNLESS we become conscious when it is happening and rewrite the script.

Internal validation can sound different:

                Wow, that went well.
                I know they are unhappy with me, and I���m okay with that.
                Yikes! That was not my finest hour.

Then ask, ���so what have I learned?���

                I am competent.
                I have boundaries, and I trust my judgment.
                It is more important to be respected than liked.
                I am imperfect and still capable of moving forward.

Getting rid of those old messages takes more than determination to ignore them. It requires finding a new way to consider the original circumstances, come to new understandings, and create ways to bring fresh thinking into our everyday lives.

I know it works because I have done it.

I can help you do it, too. Schedule a complimentary discovery call, and let���s see if you, too, can validate yourself.

Mary

The Art of Detangling

How do you tackle a gnarly situation?

My husband and I have an ongoing (friendly) discussion about how to release a snarl, a tangle, whether it is in my hair, a muscle spasm, or a necklace chain.

His approach is to go right to the center and wrestle with the knot, while I prefer to work from the outer edges inward. It may take a little longer, but that gentle release causes less breakage and discomfort.
Intuitive coaching is much the same way.

Running head-on into something gnarly is exhausting and rarely rewarding.

Chipping away at the outer edges until the core of the situation is in plain sight makes it easier to see, consider, and release.

Some of my coaching techniques include working with the subconscious mind to see a barrier from a distance to gain a new perspective.

Here is what some of my clients have reported:

���I cannot believe how different I feel after working with Mary for only a few months. Everything is clearer, and I feel more confident in assessing new situations.��� – C.S.���I want to say I got my butt kicked, but in truth, it wasn���t that harsh. I just can���t believe I missed some things that are so obvious now. I feel so much better.��� – K.B.

If you want to untangle the barriers to your success, I offer a one-hour, complimentary, ��Get Started Building Your Decision Making Strategy session.

Sign up for your session now.

Mary

Every Decision Moves You Closer to or Further from Your Goal

Reading The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson was a game-changer for me. Here is the bottom line:

�� �� �� �� �� Every Decision Moves You Closer to or Further from Your Goal

If your goal is to save money, going out to lunch every day takes away from that goal. It���s that basic.

It���s such a simple premise that has found its way into my daily choices.

If your goal is to just survive today, then those micro-decisions really add up. If your goal is to be the CEO in five years, the same is true.

There are a few things that can derail you:

Relying on willpower. It is exhausting, keeps you poised in fight or flight mode, and is impossible to maintain.The belief that the little things don���t matter, only the big ones.Not consciously recommitting to the goal you set for yourself.Not having a goal.

This level of consciousness is not a path to perfection. It is a heart-felt strategy made stronger by your intuition. One of the questions I ask myself daily is if my goal is really that important. The day I say no, I need a new goal.

What are your goals? I can help you find clarity and a path forward.

Where are you stuck? I can help you remove those barriers for greater forward momentum.

I offer a no-cost 30-minute discovery call. It���s just one click away. What have you got to lose?

Mary

���First the Challenge, Then the Change���

Every so often, I find some of the most quotable quotes from the Peloton instructors who encourage me through such crazy workouts as a 30-minute Tabata, huge stationary bike climbs, and strength training.

True, it is voluntary, so I could just not participate. But then how would I achieve my fitness and strength goals?

If it���s change you desire, you are going to have to challenge yourself to do things differently, consistently, and consciously.

If it doesn���t challenge you, it doesn���t change you.

There���s always that one thing we want to be different. Our job, our weight, our location, our financial position. Each is possible to achieve but only after we meet the challenge that will get us there.

When you want to make a change, here are a few things to remember:

The goal or vision you hold should be something you can change.

Do not waste time trying to change another.Change is fraught with challenges.Comfortable is the enemy of change.

Does any of this sound familiar:

       ���What will others say?���
       ���Why bother? No one else will appreciate it.���
       ���I don���t have time to think about that now.���
       ���I want to change, but others aren���t supportive of me.���
       ���I want to be healthier, but I don���t have time to cook.���
       ���I want a better job, but I need more training. Too time consuming.���

Change always takes a conscious effort for a conscious reason.

What do you want to change in your life?

Make a commitment to things improving over being comfortable.
Staying in a job where you know all the ropes and can do with your eyes close may be easy but are you growing? Are you challenged?

I work with my clients to set a new vision, identify the true challenges, and remove barriers to their growth on the personal and professional levels.

If you think you could benefit, reach out to me, and let���s see how we can work together. Click Here

Mary

What���s the difference between being intuitive and being psychic?

In some ways, intuition and psychic abilities are closely related.

Being psychic means divining messages about others and situations.Being intuitive is listening to the messages that lie in that space of the still small voice within.

Some people are psychic but not necessarily intuitive when listening to their internal voice.

Other people are intuitive without being psychic. Intuitive people are very much about listening to the messages that come from their dreams, meditations, and bodies. People who trust their intuition make a practice of stillness and listening. They are not necessarily in tune with others but rather if others are for their own greatest good and highest purpose.

In my practice, I teach others how to tap into their intuition. Without fail, my clients report finding that separation between what is happening for them and what others are expressing. The difference means not taking external situations so personally and taking responsibility for the energy you are conveying. You have greater confidence in the right path for you.

Your number one responsibility is to take care of yourself, and that includes listening to your intuition.

Clients often ask, ���how do I know if it���s my intuition or my own thoughts?��� I have some simple tips for that as well.

If you want to know more about making better decisions for yourself in any situation, I can help.

Let���s talk.

Mary

What’s the difference between being intuitive and being psychic?

In some ways, intuition and psychic abilities are closely related.

Being psychic means divining messages about others and situations.Being intuitive is listening to the messages that lie in that space of the still small voice within.

Some people are psychic but not necessarily intuitive when listening to their internal voice.

Other people are intuitive without being psychic. Intuitive people are very much about listening to the messages that come from their dreams, meditations, and bodies. People who trust their intuition make a practice of stillness and listening. They are not necessarily in tune with others but rather if others are for their own greatest good and highest purpose.

In my practice, I teach others how to tap into their intuition. Without fail, my clients report finding that separation between what is happening for them and what others are expressing. The difference means not taking external situations so personally and taking responsibility for the energy you are conveying. You have greater confidence in the right path for you.

Your number one responsibility is to take care of yourself, and that includes listening to your intuition.

Clients often ask, “how do I know if it’s my intuition or my own thoughts?” I have some simple tips for that as well.

If you want to know more about making better decisions for yourself in any situation, I can help.

Let’s talk.

Mary

Learn To Be More Selfish

I was at a psychic fair offering readings this past weekend. It was amazing how many of the people I read for needed two very similar messages:

Draw good boundariesBe more selfish

When both of these are ignored, victims are created. Those are the people who can’t move forward because of someone else’s actions, a situation in the past, or because staying stuck is preferred to the hard work ahead.

When you draw boundaries, you are doing a great service to yourself and others, including your children, spouses, bosses, and friends. You speak your truth, and you demonstrate to others how to do that for themselves.

Becoming more selfish is a natural extension of drawing boundaries that some struggle with for many reasons. Often, they want to please others because it is more important than pleasing themselves.

Despite all the podcasts, books, social media, TED talks, etc., that have flooded the market in the past fifteen years or more, too many people still need to be personally tapped on the shoulder and told, “that means you, too.”

Being more selfish can be as simple as finding and holding tight to 20 uninterrupted minutes a day.

Too many times, I hear from my clients about the intense shaming they received as a child, either from the playground bully or a parent or other source. It can take an awful toll on one’s beliefs about themselves.

As an adult, you have the responsibility to draw a line and say “no more!” Refuse to join the shaming chorus. Be your own best friend and advocate. Those who seek to shame you are not telling you the truth about you. They are revealing their sense of inferiority. Let them do it elsewhere.

Setting boundaries and being more selfish can take practice to recognize and overcome. I would love to help you do that.

Mary

Creating a Safe Space

There’s a fun exercise used in hypnotherapy to provide clarity and calm. It’s called creating a safe space and here’s how it works.

This space is of your own creation and lives in your mind and heart. It can be real or imaginary, perhaps someplace you know or someplace you’ve never been, yet you feel completely safe and comfortable. The best part is that you can go there simply by closing your eyes for a moment and breathing deeply.

The safe space exercise serves as an immediately accessible retreat just for you. It is the easiest place to access your intuition. To deepen your connection, look around and notice all that is there.  Once you are comfortable, invite your intuition to help guide you to insights you most need to know about any situation or person.

The tricky part comes when you challenge what you experience as real, so here is a hint. What’s real are the messages and information you glean that become a knowing. The best thing to do is to let go and allow the information to flow in whatever way it comes to you. That information is just for you and is always for your greatest good and highest purpose.

Stay in your safe space meditation for as long as you like or until you get the desired information. A minute or an hour, it’s up to you. It will always lead you to your intuition.

There are other fun tricks and trips for working with your intuition in your safe space. The more you practice it, the easier it flows. You might even experience a different place from time to time or consistently return to the same retreat. Either is okay.

Want to know more about safe space and other ways to develop your intuition? Set up a complimentary 30-minute discovery call here. I’d love to help.

Mary