Mary Flanagan Gleason's Blog, page 18
March 3, 2022
Here are five things we can all do to counteract this war in Europe.
You and I cannot solve this problem, BUT we can make a difference. Here are some thoughts about how.
Demonstrate compassion toward each other. Acts of kindness matter. The collective energy we put out into the world plays a role in spreading hope.Demonstrate compassion toward individuals regardless of their heritage.
Too many Russians and their small businesses are being unfairly targeted. They are not Putin. They are our neighbors.
Don’t assume how others feel about it. Engage in conversation.
Learn about the region of the world.
Educating ourselves is critical to developing a more compassionate and comprehensive understanding of what is at stake. To get you started, I’ve included a link to This Show is All About You with Dr. JD Wyneken (KKNW 1150 AM, Mondays 3-3:30 pm PST), which aired on February 28. JD is a doctor in European history. He shares some of Ukraine’s history that gives perspective to current events. He plans to continue the discussion on March 8. (If you are not in the Seattle area, you can also catch the show online.) JD also shared this interview with a learned historian and mentor that gives us insights about Putin and why we should not fear him.
Remember that panic and worry are useless. Find what you can control in your daily life and take positive steps that bring you joy, safety, and comfort. It makes a difference to you and to the rest of the world. If you have trouble shaking that feeling of impending doom, let’s chat. There are ways to help you feel more in control and able to participate in a positive way.
Mary
February 28, 2022
The Olive Oyl Perspective
I always laughed at Olive Oyl, Popeye’s sweetheart and Swee’Pea’s mom.
Olive Oyl walked blindly along busy streets, ignoring the danger, accidentally riding to the tops of elevators on dangerous construction sites, and gently landing back on the sidewalk thanks to a timely beam passing by on a crane. All while cheerfully mumbling and carrying her precious child.
There were times I was exasperated with her and felt that someone should take Swee’Pea away from her.
It turns out Olive Oyl was on to something. Ms. Oyl went through life believing everything would work out. And for her it did.
Now, I don’t recommend walking blindly, not looking ahead, carrying precious hopes into unnecessary danger. However, I do recommend the belief that everything works out for one’s greatest good and to keep moving forward.
My note today does not mean to ignore what is happening in the world. There is war boiling in Europe. Weather patterns are causing significant disturbances. Things are happening in your life right now that feel overwhelming.
And yet, keeping the faith, walking through life believing good things lie ahead until you see otherwise, know that you are safe and capable of continuing forward.
Many of us are feeling so discouraged right now. It is tempting to take a “why bother” or even an angry approach to decisions. Understandable.
Yet, you will go further if you don’t lose touch with the possibility that things will get better, and every decision you make will take you closer to or further from that goal.
As a decision-making coach, I can help you develop the skills and practices that keep you focused, moving ahead, noticing those timely construction beams that pass your way and offer you a lift.
Mary
February 21, 2022
Tradeoffs suck
For every location we consider, we find plusses and minuses. I mean, where else do you find the beauty of the Pacific Northwest without the high cost of living?
We ask ourselves the tough questions: what are we each willing to give up and what do we each feel we must have to move forward?
Our investigation suggests that we may need to compromise our love of the four seasons, the greenery, and living closer to family, while gains include more retirement funds and greater ability to travel.
What is it that you’re holding on to in order to avoid tradeoffs?
Is it a new way to manage? A new way to be in relationships? Find a new job?
Waiting for the perfect solution is a great way to stay stuck.
I have a valuable tool in my practice that allows you to have a more honest conversation with yourself and to create solutions that work for you. It’s called parts therapy, and it is a powerful approach that usually works best while deeply relaxed.
Are you ready to have an honest inner look at what’s holding you back and how to let go of what no longer serves? If so, I can help.
Schedule your complimentary 30-minute discovery call and learn more about how parts therapy works.
Mary
February 14, 2022
Productivity-V-Selfcare
The Washington Post printed this article last week, and boy did it call out our society to a T.
Bottom line: we Americans put a very high value on being productive over all else.
The husband writes to “Dear Carolyn,” a syndicated advice columnist. He is upset that his wife seemingly has not kept up her end of an agreement they made at the onset of COVID to be productive during nonworking hours throughout the pandemic.
In this case, productive meant tangible, measurable results. Here is how he is keeping score:
“In six months, I read 25 biographies, developed decent conversational skills in two foreign languages, upped my running program to the point that I am marathon-ready, and started volunteering for voter registration advocacy, all while continuing to work full-time. My wife has done … not so much. She has been reading fantasy novels, occasionally watching a History Channel documentary, and has generally used the time to “unwind.’”
He encouraged his wife to see a therapist because, in their agreement to be more productive, she chose self-care.
Apparently, this approach doesn’t count.
Hats off to the wife! She continues to work at her full-time legal practice, meets her share of household chores, and then apparently relaxes.
This is a perfect example of the differences between the way most of us were raised (must have a strong work ethic, always be productive, earn your keep, etc.) and the awakening truth of the value and role of good self-care.
It’s as if productivity and self-care are oxymoronic.
Once, I took an assessment quiz that said my number one saboteur was trying to be an overachiever. “How can that be,” I said. “I never get anything done.”
This article brought that recognition to mind. I learned then to celebrate accomplishments, set reasonable goals, and relax.
Do you feel guilty for taking care of yourself? Do others shame you for the times when you are relaxed and at ease with yourself?
Then it’s time to kick that programming and those voices out of your head.
Good leadership, relationships, and daily life can and should include good self-care.
When you say you are done with work at 5 pm and head to the gym, that’s an excellent example of boundaries. When you tell your children or spouse, I’m taking a bath so, please do not disturb me for 30 minutes that’s good role modeling.
However, to do this without guilt or shame, you must get the naysayers and judges out of your head. To do that, you must give yourself permission.
I have been helping clients offload the voices and messages that keep them stuck in feelings of fatigue and drowning in should and oughts. If you would like to know more, please schedule a time to discover if it could benefit you, too.
Mary
February 7, 2022
Gosh, I love magic. Do you?
Listening to meditation music, closing my eyes, feeling myself lift. It gives me a new perspective, feeling lighter physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.
In this state, all things are possible, calm, and safe. Like magic.
I need only to close my eyes and remember the feeling to lift my perspective of whatever is before me throughout my day. In those moments concerns become solvable. Present situations become calm. Knowing becomes real.
Intuition is a lot like magic. Just stop and listen to whatever messages are in the ether and allow them to be received. For just a moment, you let in the light, the lightness, the feeling of possibility and intuitive knowing.
Perhaps you notice a slight tingle in your hands or a smile spreading across your face. Maybe, just maybe you can envision success, joy, release.
The situation before you is not likely to change – but you can change your perception of it and see new possibilities in it.
If you’d like a little more magic in your life, click here.
Mary
January 31, 2022
The Woo Woo Vs. the Engineer on Systems
My husband, Mark, and I have had go-arounds for the past 34 years about systems, those everyday habits that save time and energy and offset forgetfulness.
As an engineer, Mark is driven by systems and organization. It is not a perfect practice on his part, but it is a stronger calling than what I experience. Scissors always go in this kitchen drawer. It does save time when I need to use them so, okay, I put the scissors in that kitchen drawer whenever I am done with them.
Mark perceives that I have a complete lack of systems when in truth, my systems look different than his.
For example, I put things in the car I need to take with me for the week – post office drop-offs, book deliveries, store returns, etc. To Mark, this looks like a messy car. To me, it ensures I won’t forget to take it with me. The argument? I ask that he stop “cleaning” my car! It messes with my system.
I tell you this because this is just one example of how two people can look at the same situation and come to different and often harsh judgments about the other.
This is where curiosity and empathy can play a big role in your day, with your team, or with your personal relationship. What are you judging based on what you see and how you would approach something without asking?
Curiosity says, “I wonder why they do things this way. I’ll have to ask.”
Empathy says, “Glad I asked. Now I understand.”
What is your system for being curious and building empathy with others who may appear to be doing things wrong? Where are you challenged on your abilities when others may not understand what purpose your systems serve?
Lack of curiosity and empathy can lead to unnecessary conflict keeping you stuck in circular conversations or unfair judgments. If you are in a leadership position, developing empathy is especially essential in this remote or hybrid work environment.
I can help you remove barriers to understanding and build your empathy muscles. It’s the mark of an excellent leader. Let’s chat.
Mary
January 24, 2022
“Hello, Mary? This is life. Write this down…”
Ever get a call out of the blue that says, “I know your week is all planned, you’re feeling productive, but reality has something else in mind for you?”
Most of us can recall times like these without much trouble.
Fortunately for me, my 2022 guiding words are “Embrace the And.”
And here is my first opportunity to respond.
Despite a calendar full of client appointments, I will instead be tending to my mom back east. No need to be concerned; it’s just something that came up and my very attentive yet tired brother needs some help.
How flexible are you when it comes to embracing the and…?
For many of us, 2020 and 2021 prepared us well. This covid thing and all its variants will eventually move on. Still, something always comes to take its place – even happy stuff like an unexpected wedding, an opportunity to move to a new location, a new job, etc. because change is constant.
This covid thing and all its variants will eventually move on. Still, something always comes to take its place – even happy stuff like an unexpected wedding, an opportunity to move to a new location, a new job, etc.
I have found that life is much easier when I am not so firmly planted on the ground that I cannot be light enough on my feet to meet new challenges or opportunities.
Are you entrenched in ways that keep you in a constant struggle with what is rather than what you planned?
It can be very frustrating and still manageable. I can help you stay in the flow while not getting stuck in the plan. Let’s make a date to talk.
Mary
January 11, 2022
What’s the difference between a resolution and an affirmation?
On New Year’s Day, my friend said she never makes resolutions. They are just another opportunity to disappoint herself. Brava!
I don’t make them either.
I suggested that she try affirmations instead and here’s the difference.
Resolutions tend to be written in the future tense designed to last an entire year:
“I will lose ten pounds.”
“I will be more organized.”
“I will find the perfect mate.”
Affirmations are written in the present tense and give you a positive action in the moment:
“I am healthy and take care of my body every day.”
“I put things away when I finish with them.”
“I treat myself with respect.”
“I attract people who respect me and like me for who I am.”
If you’ve made resolutions this year, take a look and ask yourself if they are
-written in the here and now
-inform your life in positive ways
-give you a sense of control in the present moment
If the answer is no, try rewriting them in ways that you find motivating, give you room to be human, and keep you moving in a positive direction.
If you would like some help getting started, I am happy to help.
Mary
December 29, 2021
The Science Behind Intuition And How You Can Use It To Get Ahead At Work
I love this article!
The author and I both work with executives to tap into their intuition with greater understanding, accuracy, and confidence. We understand that your intuition is the single greatest resource designed to serve you.
Here are a few highlights
Your right brain, where intuition is centered, is directly connected to the gut; thus, the reference to that “gut feeling” when making decisions.Women have a stronger physical connection to intuition because we are also more readily able to access our emotions which significantly adds to our intelligence. Emotional access can and is influenced by cultural norms as well as physical attributes. Men, too, can make these connections but may need more assistance with allowing their emotions into the equation.Your intuition is an integral part of developing your leadership skills as a manager, entrepreneur, and in all your relationships. It is not a gift restricted to a few people and can be developed to give even greater insights.I hope you will take a moment to read this article and, if you’d like to know more about how to work with your intuition, please schedule a complimentary time with me to see how we can work together.
Mary
How to Begin Planning for the New Year
At the beginning of every year, I take three steps:
I review my vision making updates or changes as needed.This vision is for all of my life, of which my job or career is only a piece.I choose my words to guide me. For 2022, I choose “Embrace the And…”Then, I review my values because they sometimes change.Twenty years ago, Family topped my values list. But, now that the children are all, it is okay for me to be a bit more selfish in my chosen values. (There are some advantages to growing older, and focusing on oneself without guilt tops the list!)
This year, my values are Vision, Intuition/Spirituality, and Travel. In this instance, vision means increasing my psychic abilities to see and perceive what is around me and what lies ahead. It may mean something else for you.
Now, when I draft my plan for the year, the quarter, the week, I have a way to check on my thoughts.
How do these efforts get me closer to my vision for my future?Are they consistent with my values?Have I left room to “embrace the and?”What is your process for staying true to you this coming year? Do you know where you want to be in a year, five years, more? For so many, a vision for their life is the hardest step.
If you would like to jump-start 2022 with a greater sense of direction, I can help. Let’s get started!
Mary
