Mary Flanagan Gleason's Blog, page 7

Madame Butterfly and The Soul

Last night, as Mom lay in her hospice bed, seemingly asleep but aware of everything, I played her favorite opera arias. Her face instantly relaxed, and the corners of her mouth turned slightly upward. Soon, she was lightly snoring and drifting, no doubt to the front-row seats of the opera house. Mom shared her passions with me while growing up, and now I can feed them back to her in a magical state of limbo and openness.

Her body is frail beyond all hope. Her soul, however, is intact and open to receiving joy.

How much easier would life flow if we remembered to feed our own souls and those of others, looking past foibles and physical abilities?

What music would you listen to? What book passages would you reread? What paintings or pictures would you revisit? What sensory items would you recall?  The feel of warm sand on the seashore? The smell of apple pie baking? The sound of birds overhead?

Today, I am working on my soul by just being in a state of open joy from simple pleasures. I focused on a gorgeous white and purple bearded iris for a while and recalled the garden at our first house. I dangled my feet in the pool and was transported to water time fun as a child and with my children. I didn’t dwell on these moments as much as I opened myself to feeling the joy.

This is a beautiful practice in hospice, as is the case with Mom, but why wait until then?

Feed your soul and those of others whenever you can. Sitting vigil can seem daunting, but last night, it was magical.

Wishing you magic and soulful joy,

Mary

Graceful Exits

It���s been a rough few weeks having moved my mother into hospice care. We have moved her to varying levels of care four times over the last two years. It is humbling to know that this is the final stop. Not at all what she imagined for herself.

When I was growing up, my mother worked in geriatric nursing. She would say that as people age, we only get more of the same. She wasn���t kidding.

When my father was transitioning, he was alert and, gentle and prepared to go. Not a huge change from his general demeanor. Mom, on the other hand, has always had gas for blood. She is a spitfire with places to go and things to do and a stubborn streak not to be confronted. True to herself, she is resisting this final stop all the way. Her dementia goes in and out of focus, but what she knows for sure are her three children. I’d consider it an honor, except she thinks we’re going to help her “break out.���

I love here spirit and spunk and resistance to what is��� to a point. Even at 92 years old and in hospice my mother must learn the graceful art of surrender. How much easier it would be for her if she could just go with the flow. Just this once.

This is my long way of saying that you may be hearing from me sporadically for a while. I love to write to you, and I especially love your thoughtful feedback. I will do my best to keep you updated and share the inspirations that come from this experience.

Blessed be and amen,

Mary

Decision Time!

I���ve been struggling with a few things lately, but then I realized that struggle was optional. What I really needed to do was make a choice.

Choice A: Decide what I was willing to do about it and dedicate myself to the task
Choice B: Decide I am okay with what is and accept it
None of this is rocket science, yet it took me a while to get there. For now, I am going with B because a candid conversation with myself led me to the fact that I don’t currently have the energy for change. At least not for this issue. As always, I reserve the right to change my mind. For now, though, I am okay with what is.

I see so many people struggling with their weight, their relationship, and their sense of being stuck, believing they don’t have a choice. I know that they would be happier if they could review Choices A and B and pick one.

Then, they would go from feeling like a victim to feeling peaceful.

Not every decision is easy, but decisions are always possible and, in fact, required.

What are you struggling with that could benefit from some time with Spirit to help you decide?

Still trying to figure out what to do? Schedule a discovery call to explore what’s possible.

Mary

The Grace in Gradually Letting Go

I have talked about the grace of gradually letting go twice in the past week. 

One friend is dealing with a loved one who often cannot remember her name. Another friend fears she will never have time for herself���and worse yet, isn���t sure she���d know what to do with it if she had it. Her responsibilities seem to mount daily.

In both cases, we talked about the grace that comes from gradually letting go. 

As my first friend���s husband steadily slips away, she is also gradually building a life that is about her rather than them as a couple. She has more golf dates, the ability to take classes, and the ability to still reach out and love him.

With the second friend, we talked about retaining for herself the space that comes when one obligation ends. Do not offer that space to another (and there is always another person who could benefit from her help.)

Sudden losses, such as a loved one having a fatal heart attack or even winning the lottery, will cause life to go sideways, and it is tough to find equilibrium for a very long time. 

When things happen gradually, the transition is absorbed a little bit at a time. It���s not all fun in the meantime but envisioning the path to the light at the end of the tunnel has benefits to suddenly being blinded.

Neither friend can change their immediate situation, but there is a gentle grace in gradually transitioning peacefully and with good boundaries. 

What is overwhelming you these days? Would you like some help gradually easing the stress in what otherwise looks like an endless situation? Schedule a discovery call, and let���s see if��together��you can find a way to look forward from under the current pressures.

Mary

���When I catch myself thinking about what could go wrong, I let myself dream about what could go right.�������������

–PGA Golfer Max Homa

When asked about his calm under pressure, this is how Max Homa responded. He learned to take the same thought and turn it around from possible failure to possible success.

More than a positive affirmation, Max expressed the ability to dream of better things to come.

The Life is Good company asks us, ���What else can go right?���

A family member healing from Lyme disease said she is learning to limit how much she talks or thinks about her disease because then you are identifying with it and not the possibility of wellness.

No, you don���t have to be asleep or even close your eyes to envision a better shot, a better outcome, a life of wellness. The key is learning to reverse your thinking. Catching yourself, mid-thought, mid-emotion, mid-panic. Take a breath (always key to success) and reverse your thoughts.

Take a moment to think about what is in front of you that you are dreading or resisting. Now, imagine it being better. Not what will make it go away or make it untrue. Just better than what is.

It���s the little steps toward a better outcome that help get you there.

Happy to chat about what thoughts are holding you back and how you can be more successful without them.

Mary

BOLD

Years ago, I facilitated a board retreat. The organization’s objective was to revisit the vision and mission statement.

It was a group of women scientists whose purpose was to support other women scientists. Many in the group struggled to be heard and taken seriously in their male-dominated fields. After much discussion���and I mean much discussion���they finally agreed to add the word bold to their mission statement.

The level of discomfort of many participants was palpable and worth challenging. I asked how they could expect to be taken seriously if they were not prepared to be bold. As women, they were still in their mode of people pleasing, making sure the men liked them, not making waves.

Several months later, I ran into one of the board members in the grocery store. She was still struggling with the word bold. I reminded her they had set forth a very aggressive vision and challenged how they might achieve it without boldness. She replied, “Maybe we can be bold but just not tell anyone.”

Really?

What word holds you back? What conflict does it bring up in you?

It’s not uncommon for a simple word to be ascribed an undesirable definition when it is a perfectly good word in and of itself.

Are you as bold as you need to be? Are you letting a single word/thought/societal norm hold you back from being all you can be? How can I help you get out of your comfort zone and send clear and consistent messages about who you are and what you stand for? This may sound like an offer for marketing help but it’s really about you boldly marketing yourself.

Let���s check in with Spirit and your inner thoughts to overcome these barriers.

Mary

Beware The Truth

I had an interesting conversation the other day with someone very anxious to spread The Truth about what is happening in the world. It is not pretty, and he believes we all must be aware or face great harm.

Interestingly, he and I have read some of the same works, viewed some of the same movies, and came away with very different interpretations. Now, for all I know, his truth may be true, and I will thoughtfully consider what he has offered.

I do believe we find what we seek.

If you are looking for reasons to fear and draw lines in the sand, then you will find it. If you, like me, are looking for how good things are, you will find that, too.

Now, this person believes he has found The Truth and lives it daily. I prefer to think of truth as fleeting, expanding, and constantly open to reconsideration. When I get new information, I must consider the possibility of its truth. Still, I am under no obligation to accept it.

You are also not obligated to accept what may not be true for you.

One of the many gifts my mom gave me was to question everything, ���even the Bible. Come to your own conclusions. Think for yourself. You will know when something feels right.��� She was right.

The fear this other person feels may be true, and when confronted with that same reality, I, too, will be afraid. In the meantime, I will choose love and hope. I can be quite cynical when I need to be, but I gave that up as a dominant way of life, and my health and outlook improved.

Are you feeling overwhelmed by what seems to be true in your world? Let���s have a conversation with Spirit and see if you can���t find some comfort and a new way to look at the world.

Mary

Changing the Conversation

In the past month, I have had the privilege of joining two podcasts. I have participated in both podcasts on professional topics before.

What was so refreshing is that neither of the podcast hosts know each other or even live in the same part of the country, yet each has switched their focus to having more meaningful conversations about real life as it happens.

With Stacy Heller of Stacy Connects, we (eventually) talked about making tough decisions like the one my husband and I made to relocate 1200 miles away from everything we know. The other podcast is about having honest conversations with people who present as professionals in a specific area. The host, Jarrett Ransom, with NonProfit Nerd, said she was aching for more personal conversations about how people go through the world.

I invite you to listen to both via the links below.

What do you want to talk about most? What do you wish people would ask? What makes you shine most brightly? How good would it feel to boldly state who you are and have others lean in to learn more?

This week, I challenge you to have at least one in-depth conversation with another person, even if you think you know them well. You could start by sharing something that person would not know about you, such as how much you love to cook, some sage advice your grandmother shared with you, or your greatest fear and how you overcame it. Or did you?

Engaging in this way can lead to meaningful insights into your friends and yourself and keep you focused more on the things that make you you.

Please let me know if you decide to take up this challenge and what the results are. When we deepen our understanding of one another, we deepen our understanding of ourselves.

Enjoy listening!
NonProfit Nerd: Impact Unleashed
Stacy Connects

Mary

���I���m No Quitter.���

���I���m no quitter��� seems a silly thing to say. I embrace quitting when it is time to let go. I am never married to an imperative that no longer serves me. The thought that ���I���m no quitter��� challenges me to hang on to something that no longer serves me without care for myself.

The tarot card Eight of Cups shows a man walking away from his emotional and personal riches. Why would anyone do that?

One possibility is the job with the golden handcuffs: a good salary and great benefits surrounded by soul-sucking or lackluster work. Or how about that relationship that you keep waiting to get better? You might tell yourself that you don���t want to give up on them while possibly giving up on yourself.

Knowing when to persist and when to let go is crucial to personal growth and success. “I’m no quitter” can sometimes be counterproductive if it leads to holding onto something that no longer serves your best interest or contributes to personal growth.

Recognizing when to release and move on requires a level of self-awareness and adaptability that can lead to greater fulfillment and success in the long run. It’s about being flexible enough to reassess situations and goals and courageous enough to make necessary changes. So, embracing quitting when it’s time to let go can be a sign of strength and wisdom rather than weakness.

Let���s talk about how you can become a quitter. I���m here to help.

Mary

Mistaking the Silence for Unanswered Prayers

Silence can be deafening.

Silence can often be mistaken for no one listening, no one seeing, no one caring.

Yet, silence is often where the magic happens. It is when your angels are busy putting the things you requested on your path.

You did remember to ask, right?

That���s the most essential element. You must ask for help and guidance; you must put the wheels in motion.

You break the silence when you take a chance, recognize the answers, and or explore what each possible opportunity can mean. That doesn���t mean a new car will appear in your driveway. It doesn���t mean the person of your dreams will ring your doorbell.

It does mean that Spirit is always listening and working for your greatest good and highest purpose. This is where faith comes in. If nothing is happening, it is about to, or you need help recognizing it, or you need help believing it.

Spirit is definitely trying to reach you. Let me help you decipher the messages.

Mary