It is what it is.

What does this expression mean to you: It is what it is?

I have always interpreted it as a rather healthy response to accepting a situation, but lately, I have found people using it as an excuse.

Sometimes, “it” is the wise acceptance of a circumstance you cannot change, such as a storm that delays your flight or being stuck in traffic. No amount of screaming, fretting, or worry will change it.

Here’s what it shouldn’t mean: That you are stuck in your victim’s story.

Bad things happen to all of us at some time or another: Job loss, loss of a loved one, receiving a difficult diagnosis, or other devastating circumstances. These are things that can stop us in our tracks. In these instances, saying, “well, it is what it is so why bother��� choosing to stay stuck.

I came across this very moving story on LinkedIn a few days ago. A young man shared how he moved from victim to hero in his own life. Here’s an excerpt:

“I woke up in the hospital in the middle of a political firestorm. After being shot when the police mistook me for someone else, I started to feel hate. I had a loving family pouring into me, but my spirit wasn’t receptive because I wanted to be angry.”

“My grandfather told me ��� ‘You have to make a choice to get up. I can’t do it for you; you have to get yourself up and how you decide to climb is your responsibility.'”

“I realized that I wanted to pull myself up off the floor more than I wanted to be on it.”

He shifted to accepting what had happened and chose to do what was necessary to move forward.

We all have a victim story. What���s yours? My real question is, how is that story holding you back?

If you’re ready to take a look at it, I can help.

Mary