Kelly Epperson's Blog, page 8

Point of View – Got One?

The Declaration of Independence I always considered as a theatrical show. Jefferson ran away with all the stage effect of that… and all the glory of it.

~John Adams

That is a great example of point of view. John Adams looked at the Declaration of Independence through his filter and lens. Thomas Jefferson had his own take.

History is in the hands of those who write it. So is your book.

That era can have fascinating written accounts and all are different because of the point of the view of the author.

Your point of view sets you apart. Your experience, education (formal or otherwise), and expertise are what differentiate you from the others who also write on leadership, love, or llamas, or whatever your topic may be.

In one of my workshops, I show a photo of a pickup truck parked outside a diner and give an assignment to write for ten minutes on that picture. Everyone has a distinctly different point of view. It’s an enlightening exercise for all.

When you hold yourself back from writing because you say there are already a hundred books out there on your topic, I challenge you to declare your point of view. You have a unique way of approaching it or else you would not have the desire to write the book.

We don’t get desires willy nilly. I have no urge at all to write a book on running, weight loss, or real estate. I do have desires to write on writing, joy, and gum addiction. Those are the desires I follow.

When you have a desire to write a book, ponder it. Don’t squash it. Play with it.

Ask yourself:

Why do I want to write this book?

What is my unique approach/method/technique?

What would anyone glean from my book that is not already in the bookstore?

Own it. Own your ideas, your brilliance, your message, your mission, your point of view. Maybe you can show busy moms how to be the hit of the class party or maybe you are creating a foundation for a new humanity.

Your ideas matter. Books matter. Your point of view matters.

Develop your point of view. Write it. Your tribe awaits.

Are you a play-it-safer?

So many people are play-it-safers. It’s how we are raised. We are taught (most of us anyway) to be polite, be kind, be quiet. I’m all for kindness and respect. We can be kind and respectful, and make our voice heard.

We can be quietly bold.

That’s why I love books. A book lets you speak your message, your mission, your way. You don’t have to scream. You don’t have to shout. You don’t have to beat anybody over the head to get their attention.

You simply express what you came here to say. (I guide you to do it eloquently, of course.)

Folks that resonate with you want to hear more from you. Anyone who has ever told you that you should write a book wants to read it. They will tell others to read it.

People who are interested in what you have to share want to get inside your head and your heart. They want to learn more. A book allows that intimate connection.

Have you not ever clutched a book to your heart? Did those words, one golden nugget, seem written just for you? Were you not grateful that author wrote that book?

A book is a marketing tool for your business, absolutely. It brings people into your world. They want you to speak at their events, teach them workshops, coach and consult them. They want more of what you’ve got. A book is that magnet to bring them to you. It provides you visibility and sets you as the authority. A book gives your credibility. And it does so much more.

Yes, I work with people who write their books for solely business reasons. That’s how it starts. The journey, sometimes to their surprise, is also a confidence builder and a clarity builder, no matter what level of success they have already attained.

In my articulate, intelligent writerspeak, a book is a big deal.

If you have ever thought you wanted to write a book, that desire is there for a reason. The procrastination is also there for a reason. You know it’s a big deal and you were not quite ready to put yourself out there in this new way.

So you stayed a play-it-safer. 80% of the population wants to write a book and less than 5% actually do. We play it safe.

There comes a time when the desire within you to express yourself speaks up a little louder than the other voices holding you back. There comes a time when you are ready. That’s when the real fun begins.

Be quietly bold. Write.

You will never regret it. We only regret the things we didn’t do. As Robert Frost said, freedom lies in being bold.

True Confessions of Networking Fears

Some people enter a room of strangers with no trepidation. For the rest of us, we feel a little jittery. Or maybe it’s just me.

I was content to “network” via my computer from the safety of my desk chair. I’m quite charming and clever when I craft an email. Introducing myself in the flesh to people I’ve never met is not my strong suit. But my biz coach instructed me to get out there in person and start telling people what I do.

Lucky for me, people are interested in books, editing, and publishing. I discovered that I didn’t have to talk about me, I talk about what I do. It’s fun to share client success stories and to hear what lights up other people for their book ideas.

One networking group that I’ve fallen in love with is Engaging Speakers (I go to the Chicagoland locations). Now when I walk in the room, I know several folks and am delighted to meet more. I’ve become a resource partner and have been asked to be a mentor. With a new website in the works, they asked me to share, via video, my reasons for joining the group. Jared Silver of At A Glance Marketing did the videos for Engaging Speakers and then did some edits and provided me a short video to use on my own website.

Ah, the power of networking. When we give, we get.

When we are grateful, we get more. Jared recently sent this email to his subscribers highlighting Birth That Book. Pretty groovy.

It is said that we all have a book inside of us. That we have a unique message, skill, or expertise and… a responsibility to share it with others. Go ahead – admit it. You’ve been thinking about writing that book for years, but you’ve had lots of reasons for putting off… repeatedly. Well, it’s time you put your passion to paper. My colleague, Kelly Epperson, will help you “Birth That Book!” Becoming a published author will transform your life.

Yes, books transform your life and your business. The moral of my story here today, a common theme that needs repeating, is that even when we are scared, when we go anyway, good things come. If you are nervous to go to networking events, go. Be interested in what others do. That’s the bottom line. Take the focus off you and your not-so-polished elevator pitch, and just get out there. Don’t shove your business card and don’t try to sell anyone anything. Just go. Chat. Listen. Follow up.

Find groups that are a good fit for your biz and your style. Some groups are stuffy. Some groups are pushy. Many groups are wonderful.

So inhale and exhale, and put yourself out there. If you are someone who thinks I’m nuts for being nervous in new situations, so be it. For the rest who get a little bit of the sweaty palm syndrome, know that after the first time, it’s not a new situation anymore. And know that a few months down the road, you will be amazed at all the clients, connections, and goodwill that comes.

If you are nervous to write your book, do it anyway. Take one small baby step. A few months down the road, you will be amazed at all the clients, connections and goodwill that comes.

Ah, the power of words.

Crash and burn disaster begets success

I’ve been writing my weekly newspaper column since May 2001. The year I lived in France my columns became incredibly popular. When I returned home, I was asked to speak to a local retired men’s group about what it was like to be a stranger in a strange land.

Around a breakfast table of twelve lovely gentlemen, I stood up to speak and nothing came out. My brain froze; my words stammered. My clever stories stayed stuck in my head and wouldn’t find their way to my mouth.

Crash and burn. Train wreck. Disaster. It was bad, bad, really bad.

So the next week in my column, I wrote about my first public speaking event gone down the toilet. The shame. The humiliation. The sweaty pits.

Another reader immediately contacted me and invited me to speak to her women’s group.

That makes no sense, but I laughed and I accepted. I could have stayed in the hole of defeat and embarrassment, but something inside me said to try again.

This time I brought pictures and props. My talk was not eloquent, but better, and someone else asked me to speak to a different group.

Thus began my speaking career. I bought a projector and compiled photos to complement my stories of Life in France Off the Beaten Path. I shared our experiences, and I shared my heart. I injected humor and wisdom and gratitude.

Word of mouth referrals launched me as a speaker. My confidence and presentations improved and I stayed busy with speaking engagements. I also started teaching workshops and community college classes. My smart car and I traveled the region sharing joie de vivre.

That led to me being asked to speak and teach on the journey to finding one’s happiness. I was living my joy and was asked to teach others how to do the same. That led to me being asked to coach. I became an expert on the science of happiness. Living it, speaking it, teaching it.

All along I was still writing my column, ezine, freelancing, and ghostwriting. I was asked to teach on the joy of writing and how to coach others through the book writing process. I’ve written 20+ books and now speak and coach on the joy of books as well.

How did it all happen?

I didn’t give up. I could have stayed mortified in my “failure.” Instead, it was a great learning experience and now a funny story. I kept going, even with wet palms and dry mouth.

We gain confidence in the doing. Doing is not a one-time shot. It’s a process.

Be open. When opportunities arise, go for it. Do your best and learn from each experience. Understand that in writing or speaking (or most things), it is not about you, it’s about them.

Get over your me-me-me worries and start concentrating on who you can help and how you can help them.

If your focus is on you-you-you, spin around three times and shake it off. No one wants a speaker/author who only wants the spotlight and to sell their book or products. People want great content that can improve their lives.

What is your message? How do you inform and inspire?

Hone your craft. Practice in the mirror. Join Toastmasters, or National Speakers Association, or Engaging Speakers. Then get out and speak. Go to your local Rotary, Chamber, and Kiwani’s or other groups that always need speakers. Start small. If you offer good content, someone there will give you a referral. One leads to another.

Start writing. Blog, tweet, social media posts, ezines, etc. The reason I was asked to speak in the beginning was because I had established the know-like-trust factor via my weekly newspaper column. These folks read me every week and knew my personality. They were inviting “a friend.”

It was my writing that started me as a speaker. It continues to be my writing that keeps me in touch with my people, and this weekly e-newsletter is one vehicle allows me to stay connected. Writing and speaking go hand in hand.

If you write, start speaking. If you speak, get a written product.

Most importantly, get over your fear and the need to be perfect. As my grandma used to say, “Ain’t none of us perfect, honey.” People don’t relate to perfect. Your audience/your readers want the nuggets of wisdom you have to help them improve their situation. Uplift, educate, inspire, entertain, teach, inform, and do it imperfectly.

And stay grateful. Let it build.

Thank you, Mel Bradley, for being the first editor to ever run my column and for still doing so today. Thank you, Gary Turner, for inviting me to speak that first fateful awful morning.

I’m forever grateful.

Like a good neighbor

“Give your face something to smile about.” That’s an old jingle written by Barry Manilow for Trident gum. (Still my favorite gum, but that’s another story.) Those who know me know the Barry is a revered man in my heart.

He got his start writing, arranging, and/or singing commercials. “Like a good neighbor, Statefarm is there.” “You deserve a break today so get up and get away to McDonald’s.” “I am stuck on Band-Aid and Band-Aid’s stuck on me. Cause they hold on tight in the bathtub and they cling bended knee…”

I haven’t eaten KFC in years but I still know the tune. “Get a bucket of chicken, finger lickin’ good, have a barrel of fun, good bye ho-hum.” Mr. Manilow’s melodies had to be catchy. Some are still around today, more than three decades later. Barry got five hundred bucks for Statefarm’s theme and no royalties. But he got his start.

We all have to start somewhere.

For me, it was my weekly newspaper column. Still going strong since May 2001. I run into people at speaking engagements who say they have a column from years ago still tacked to their fridge. Something that inspired. That makes my day.

Not every column is fridge worthy, but week in and week out, I write a column. And I write this weekly newsletter. I write lots of other things. What about you?

Today, it’s easy to get started. Do you blog? Do you write a newsletter or ezine? What about Facebook posts?

Many people journal, but they never express publicly. If you want to build a platform, you have to put yourself out there.

That’s the bottom line. Some people have no fear (or no shame) and will say anything, anywhere. That’s not who I’m talking about or talking to.

I’m talking about you. If you want to express in writing, you have to start somewhere. A letter to the editor is good. Your local paper or a magazine you love is a great place to share your feedback on a recent topic. It’s good practice for you. You have a point of view. You have something to say. Say it.

If you want to build an audience, or simply get in the habit of writing regularly and yes, putting yourself out there, start a blog. Writing gives you clarity on what you think and feel. Sometimes you hit the mark, sometimes you don’t. Either way, the earth still keeps spinning.

Blogging is common:

Snithchim.com stated that as of April 2013:

Tumblr.com has over 101.7 Million blogs

WordPress.com has over 63 Million blogs

Livejournal 62.6 million blogs

Weebly over 12 million blogs

Blogster has over 582,754 blogs

If you are a business owner or an entrepreneur, do you have a free report or short ebook available on your website? That’s a great place to put your message out there and let people know what you are all about.

If you are hesitant or feeling shy, drop me a line. If you are ready, get to it! The more you do anything, the easier it gets. The better you get. The Barry has come a long from writing jingles, and like a good neighbor, he’s still there. Get a conversation going with your people. Write from your heart. You won’t regret it.

What’s that number-thingy?

Books (and speeches, programs, and newsletters) should be informational AND inspirational. I excel at uplifting. Enthusiasm is my game, as is sharing buckets and bushels full of nuggets of wisdom. By reading my stuff or coaching with me, clients respond with relief and glee: “You make this doable!”

Absolutely.

My expertise is in getting you to clarity. Busting through idea overwhelm and lasering in on your true focus makes me giddy too. When I hang up from a client conversation or a complimentary getting-to-know-you chat, I feel good too. I could inspire all day long. And I do.

A good book (or a good coach) inspires us, but it (she) also has to give us the nitty gritty too. If you make me feel all pumped up to create a needlepoint mural of The Wizard of Oz characters, please don’t leave me hanging. How do I get started? What materials do I need? Do I start with Dorothy’s ruby red slippers? Do I sketch it all out first? How big does my mural need to be? What if I’ve never done needlepoint?

Educate me.

Entertain me too, keep the motivation moving along, but give me something concrete so I can see that I really can do this project.

People get inspired and then they talk themselves out of it. They let the little voices of self-doubt come back in. Your book is a guide and moral support to help your reader know that they can make more money, get more clients, have extraordinary success, stay true to their heart, just be love, crochet a potholder, save the planet, be a strong leader, take care of their aging parents, make healthy meals, build a sailboat, or write a book.

Inspire. Inform.

People come to me with all kinds of questions. They talk themselves out of it before they start. They say they want to write a book, but………they’ll get to it someday.

Their questions are all over the place and mainly a ruse to keep from getting started (or finishing) their book. Oh, the delay tactics we use!

If you truly are in idea overwhelm, we can bust through that and get you going. I repeat, getting you to clarity is my expertise. If you are making excuses because you don’t know if you want an ebook or a print book and you stay spinning your wheels, the answer is: You need a manuscript first.

Need assistance? Holler, please!

Another excuse people use to stay in the land of “I will write my book someday” is “I know I need a number-thingy on the back of my book, but what is it?”

That is called an ISBN. An ISBN is the International Standard Book Number. It’s an identifier. One ISBN is assigned to each edition and variation (except reprintings) of a book. An ebook, a paperback, and a hardcover would each have a different ISBN.

The ISBN is just that, a number. The barcode (we all know what those look like) has the ISBN printed in it. You can get a barcode for your printed book for $25. ISBNs are a little pricier.

One ISBN is $125, however, you can get ten for $250. Buy ten; they are yours to have for all your future needs. You can purchase ISBNs (and barcode) in one quick minute simply by googling ISBN. You will be taken to Bowker, the official US ISBN agency.

Enter your credit card information, and you now are the proud of owner of one or ten (or 100) ISBNs. Now that you have it, are you ready to start writing? NOW what questions are holding you back?

If you have questions, on “tech” stuff like this, or the writing process, drop me a line. No more delay tactics.

Somebody needs to read what you need to write. Let’s not keep them waiting.

Some times, saying “I used to” is a good thing.

I heard a speaker recently comment that she “used to” have many high paying gigs. She “used to” share the stage with top names. She “used to” travel all the time. With the crash of the economy, things for her just aren’t what they “used to” be.

We can get hung up on our “I used to” statements. I use to weigh less and not have a belly roll. I used to not have gray hair. I used to be and do a lot of things.

I used to go to high school, be a pompon girl, and work at a fast food joint. Those shaped me, but not where I want to be again.

I used to be a mommy of toddlers. As much as that was a joy, the life with college age young men is an even deeper joy.

The progression of life is the beauty of it.

I used to be scared to speak in front of groups. Now, I come alive when presenting. I used to not eat seafood, Mexican, or Chinese food. I am grateful my palate has expanded. I used to be nervous to enter a room full of people where I don’t know anybody. Well, I still am a little nervous to do that, but I remind myself to relax and know that the room is full of wonderful people and it’s not my role to impress anyone.

I used to think that was what people were all about – trying to impress. I now know that we all are simply wanting to express instead, and sometimes we don’t know how. Or we’re too chicken. I used to be chicken to do lots of things. I now have gone zip lining, kayaking in the ocean, and hang gliding.

I used to be someone who had never been on a plane. Now I travel all over and love it. I used to be someone who worked at the IRS and thought life was just a big checklist of to-dos to tick off before we die.

I used to think a lot of things. The people of the earth used to think the world was flat. We used to think man would never go to the moon, and now there are plans to send folks to Mars. We used to think…

I used to collect Beanie Babies, bells, and tea sets. I used to think people with tattoos were only for bikers. I used to drink soda for breakfast. I used to refuse to sing karoake.

What are some of your “used to’s? Are you glad you have shed some of them?

I used to put other’s opinions of me over my own. I used to defer my decisions to others. I used to not speak up and say my point of view because I was always the good girl. I used to ……..

I used to drive a minivan. I used to drive a smart car. I used to wear a tiara while driving my smart car.

I used to have fun. And thank goodness, I still do. I used to never be the first one out on an empty dance floor.

We all are a compilation of our “used to’s.” Be grateful for all that has been. Be grateful for all that is now. That is the common thread that remains. If you find your life has gone downhill, ask yourself: “Did I use to be grateful?” Get that back and you will be A-okay, no matter your list of used to’s.

(See if you can add this: I USED TO be a worrier!)

(Kelly Epperson Simmons is an author/speaker/coach who used to color paint by numbers as a kid. To work with Kelly, write info@kellyepperson.com or call toll free 888-637-3563.)

Oh the places we go! What fun!

Prince Charming and I recently were in San Diego, and my man arranges the grooviest surprises. We went kayaking. In the ocean. In La Jolla. We saw caves and coves and seals. Or were they sea lions? We had a dolphin with us on the way back. See, I told you – pretty groovy.

When we first landed and leaving the airport, my astute husband said the shape of the trees reminded him of Dr. Seuss. When we were out paddling in the ocean, our tour guide pointed out the house of Theodor Geisel, yes, Dr. Seuss. He had lived on the La Jolla cove and the surroundings did provide him inspiration.

Our guide also said Mrs. Geisel (the second one; the first one died in 1967; he remarried in 1968)is still alive and drives a silver Rolls Royce around town with the plates SEUSS. I was on the lookout for her the rest of the day, but alas, she was safely tucked away from this raving fan. If I read the internet accounts correctly, (and if the internet accounts are correct), she is 92.

Mr. Geisel bought that house when it was a ramshackle fixer-upper. Or so Wikipedia tells me. It is now a multi-million dollar property.

Theodor Geisel was just a guy. He wrote lyrical stories and drew weird drawings. He started using the name Seuss in college when he got kicked off the school paper for being a wise guy. His pseudonym stayed with him.

Many writers know that Dr. Seuss was rejected many, many times before a publisher would give him a chance. Now he’s a household name and many parent curses him when their child asks for “Fox in Sox” one more time.

Schools and libraries across the country honor him each year on his birthday with reading events. Major theme parks have Seuss areas where the rides and events are colorful whimsy. All ages appreciate what he created.

I often quote the man. His book “Oh, The Places You’ll Go” is required reading in my joy programs now and a frequent gift for any occasion. Births and graduations are especially appropriate. Now as many of my friends are entering a new phase of life, I think retirement is another time for this book.

Theodor Geisel was unique. He wasn’t doing what everyone else was doing. He gave us something new and it has become part of our culture. He was just a guy doing his thing. He never imagined that someday there would be Seussical The Musical. Well, maybe he did.

You too are unique. You’ve got stuff in you that sings, dances, rhymes, pantomimes, makes you don wings and take some chances. Perhaps you bake a cake, or craft a raft, or design a combine. You can do a jig, or rig a rig, or dig-dig-dig.

Don’t aspire for the house on the ocean. Aspire to do what you love to do and that’s how you get the other stuff. Seriously, people do things for the joy of it, because they have a desire to express their thing in their way. Big ideas lead to hard work and then comes the fulfilling part. Changing people lives.

That’s when the money comes. A Rolls Royce may come too, but that is the byproduct of success. The heart of the matter is sharing your heart. Sharing your heart is the start of all starts. Be it art, ala carte, or an acting part. Just start your start!

Oh, the places you’ll go!

(Kelly Epperson Simmons is an author/speaker/coach who loves Dr. Seuss. Visit www.kellyepperson.com. For help birthing your book, call toll free 888-637-3563 or info@kellyepperson.com.)

 

 

Studies have shown that people chew gum and read studies

“Four out of five dentists surveyed recommend sugarless gum for their patients who chew gum.” Recognize that sentence? Back in the 1970s, that commercial for Trident gum ran frequently.

Did they only survey five dentists? What did the fifth guy say? Go for the high sugar bubble gum? What do those four dentists recommend for their patients who don’t chew gum?

Surveys and studies amuse me. I cite samples often in my programs and speeches because they stimulate curiosity and conversation. One study says that we look at our refrigerator 37 times a day. I use that stat to teach people to have their fridge face be uncluttered and only adorned with something that uplifts them. A photo, a quote, a silly or pretty something.

Who counts how many times we look at the fridge door and why did that be a study? Was it on obesity? I don’t think so. I don’t recall it saying we open the door, just that we pass by it 37 times. There are studies that show the level of clutter on the refrigerator is an indicator of the level of clutter elsewhere, and clutter is a stressor.

It would be fun to a participant in a study. Someone can pay me to count how many times I pass my fridge. I think it would be different for those who work at home and those who work elsewhere.

Another stat I share often is that it only takes 26 minutes a day of walking to boost our happiness. A brisk stride for that amount of time gets the feel good endorphins flowing and 26 minutes is optimal for weight loss as well. Somehow only putting in 26 minutes seems easier than taking a half hour to exercise. Fitting that into my day is doable, and walking lowers your risk for many health conditions.

Some studies are beneficial. Some are just wacky. Our government has funded some pretty weird stuff, and remember we are a country that pays its farmers billions each year to not farm their land. Did you know dog fleas can jump higher than cat fleas? Did you know that if you are sick, you should stay home from work? Duh. Maybe the study on woodpeckers and brain injuries has merit, but comparing our brains to theirs…….hmmm.

Studies have proven that air pollution is bad for you. Cigarettes are bad for you. A longer ride in an ambulance from home to hospital increases your chances of dying.

Much of what we consider common sense is not accepted as true unless “proven” by a study, or so the rationale goes of why these studies are funded.

Studies can show anything. I can survey 5 dentists and ask them if I should chew sugarless gum. I can survey 5 dentists and ask them what flavor. I can do a study of dentists being surveyed.

These kind of studies have spawned their own line of jokes. Studies have shown that people who have more birthdays live the longest. (Studies have shown that four in ten people laugh at bad jokes, while only one in ten groans.)

Did you laugh? Did you groan? Would you like to take part in a study?

Studies have shown that four of five dentists would.

(Kelly Epperson Simmons is an author/speaker/coach who helps people birth their books. Write info@kellyepperson.com or call toll free 888-637-3563.)

 

 

 

 

 

Your domain is your territory. Buy it now!

I only own about twenty domain names. What about you?

My first purchase and one I still have is whenlifestinks.com. My first book is a collection of my newspaper columns, entitled When Life Stinks, It’s Time to Wash the Gym Clothes. When Life Stinks was a possible “theme” for my then-launching business ideas.

I played with possible programs that patterned after my life: When Life Stinks, Move to the South of France. When Life Stinks, Get a New Husband. When Life Stinks, Follow Your Joy.

I soon grabbed kellyepperson.com and had whenlifestinks point to that. My focus did become following your joy, so I put to use joyjumpstart.com and joybeyondyourdreams.com. Before that, I was using journeyofyou.com because I like that for an acronym for joy. I soon learned someone else had joyjourneyofyou.com and was trademarked so I went with Joy Beyond Your Dreams. Trademarked it. Live it.

We have several domain names just in case, including kellyandjim.com. Who knows what future ventures will come. If you do not have your name yet, grab it, if possible.

If you don’t have your book title or working title ideas, grab them. For ten bucks a pop, it’s worth it.

Many companies own hundreds of domain names for books and products and possible ideas to come.

When book coaching left the back burner hobby spot and became a business, we bought BirthThatBook.com and BirthThatBookNow.com.

When you are playing with titles for your books and products, do a search to see if the domain names are available. I originally thought of Birth Your Book but it was taken. I like Birth That Book even better.

You can search and buy your names at godaddy.com or namecheap.com. Buying in bulk saves you a little cash too.

It’s fun to play around. Don’t put it off. I just bought StepIntoYourBiggerPurpose.com. Stay tuned!