Kelly Epperson's Blog, page 4

How Connected Are You?

I write today with a heart full of gratitude and in a mood for reflection. Maybe it’s because we met Deepak Chopra last night. (I’ll write on that later.)

Deepak is all about taking the time to hang with yourself, to go deeper into you. When you do, that’s where the real connection begins. With yourself, your passion, and with others.

As I recall the names of authors I have met, hugged, even kissed, I am honored to have met them, not because they are “famous” or rich, but because they have followed their passion. They didn’t listen to the naysayers. They stuck it out when the goin’ got rough.

It has been my joy to meet many authors I admire, including Dave Barry, Anne Lamott, Mary Engelbreit, Marci Shimoff, Robert Allen, Vic Conant, Garrison Keillor, Elizabeth Gilbert, Jacquelyn Mitchard, Anne Fine, Bruce Cameron, Barack Obama (hugged him in 2007 and he became President the next year; I sooo don’t want to talk politics, but I do believe in the power of hugs. I hugged Julie Ostrow before her competition and she became the Laughing Champion of America. Hugs are powerful. Get one and go follow your passion whatever it may be.) and Deepak Chopra, and others falling out of my head right now.

When Elizabeth Gilbert wrote Eat, Pray, Love, she never in a million years imagined it would take on the life that it did. When Dave Barry started writing his newspaper column, he never would have thought a television show would be spawned. When Jacquelyn Mitchard wrote her first novel, Oprah didn’t even have a Book Club. Mitchard was the first pick and it changed her life.

Mitchard caught a lot of crap for writing that book. Not for the book itself, but that she took time away from her kids after the death of her husband to go away and write. She had naysayers. She had guilt. She also had something in her that spurred her on, to follow her heart to complete it. A little something called passion.

You are not always going to have the understanding and support of those who love you. They want the best for the you, but they just don’t get it. If I had listened to conventional wisdom and the well-meaning advice of others, I would still be at the IRS, still in the first marriage, still driving a minivan.

We did a mediation with Deepak last night. Simple steps that you can do too to get in touch with your passion and the inner knowing to pursue it. Sit quietly, deep breaths, just observing your breath, not controlling it. Then bring awareness into your heart. Breathe.

Ask yourself, without needing or thinking any answers, these questions as you breathe with your awareness in your heart: Who am I? What do I want? What is my purpose? What am I grateful for?

The actual guided mediation was a bit longer but this gives you an idea. If you sit with yourself every morning and get in tune with you, the deeper inner you, the outer you will start to experience a whole lot more peace, joy, and passion.

Life is about connectedness. Those who achieve “success” do so because they connect with themselves and that allows them to connect deeper with others. The people that I admire are ordinary folks (just like you and me) who have followed their passion. They took chances. They believed even when it was a little scary.

Naysayers are never going to go away. But as you continue on your journey, you will find more and more people who get it. People who support you, believe in you, help you.

As this calendar year starts to wind to a close, get connected with you, your gratitude, your goals. Who are you? What do you want? What is your purpose? What are you grateful for?

Fulfilling your dreams is about connecting. That starts first with you connecting with you.

Something to Be Thankful For

If you have heard me speak, or read my column, you know I teach gratitude practices. The American Happiness Association proclaims gratitude is the #1 Happiness Booster.

When you are feeling low, you can switch your energy by changing gears to thankfulness. Sometimes easier said than done. I had one gal who said after a rough day the only thing she could be thankful for was that the day was over.

That works.

It can take effort to switch over to gratitude. It also takes the same amount of energy to stay in the mopes. Little habits go a long way. Letting someone else spark your brain can prompt you to think of your own little gratitudes.

Some of mine today: I turn a knob on a box in my bedroom and music comes out of it. When was the last time you said thank you for the magic of radio?

Same goes for television. We take it for granted and we complain about having 500 channels with nothing good to watch. I rarely watch TV, but I am grateful for the childhood of Brady Bunch, Days of Our Lives, and Saturday Night Live. The quality of television is debatable, but for the technology, I am grateful.

That makes me think of shows that make me laugh. Thank you.

Soap operas. Oh, how I used to adore you! Did you watch Luke and Laura’s wedding? I skipped out of school early to see Laura toss her bouquet off the balcony and then the camera showed the surprise of it being caught by Scotty Baldwin. Thank you, soap opera writers, for the drama, suspense, classic cliffhangers and over the top romance.

I am grateful for the head massage they give at hair salons. I think I will pay for a shampoo and massage once a week because it feels so good.

I am grateful for mascara and eyeliner. If not for those products, my eyes would always look like I just woke up or just drank a bottle of booze out a brown paper bag.

I am grateful for Prince. Tonight I’m gonna party like it’s 1999.

I am grateful for Paris. Driving in Paris made me realize I can do scary things and live to tell.

I am grateful for pizza. The college staple is still a comfort food, even though I have traded in sausage for mushroom, spinach and tomato.

Facebook. I find it odd, this world we live in where we communicate more virtually than face to face, and the thing that is part of our cultural fabric is a “facebook,” yet I love the connections it creates. Good things have come to me because of Facebook. I am grateful.

Google. I have written an entire column, many moons ago, on my love of Google. My love hasn’t faded.

Email. Dropbox. Internet in general. I couldn’t do what I do without you.

I am grateful for greeting cards. The pretty ones with the pretty words that sit on my desk from clients that make me happy on many levels.

Air conditioning. As we experience a heat wave in September, the modern joy of central air is worthy of an entire joy journal of pages dedicated to thanks of its comfort. Thank you, whoever invented this cooling device.

I am grateful for the birds that frequent our feeders. Such a variety. So much activity. Fun to watch.

Thankful for the rest of the critters here too. Squirrels, chipmunks, raccoons, turkeys, etc. As my son says, “Sure is a lot of nature here.” I like it.

Find something big, small, furry, feathered, silly, serious to be thankful for. If it doesn’t come easy, think of just one. Perhaps for you, it’s this column is done.

(Kelly Epperson is an author/speaker/coach. She teaches you how to write your book, she teaches you how to live with joy, she teaches you how to sky dive. Not really on that last one. Programs starting soon. www.kellyepperson.com)

Photo Credit: Flickr

Adjust Your Aim

Everything you want should be yours: the type of work you want; the relationships you need; the social, mental, and aesthetic stimulation that will make you happy and fulfilled; the money you require for the lifestyle that is appropriate to you; and any requirement that you may (or may not) have for achievement or service to others. If you don’t aim for it all, you’ll never get it all. To aim for it requires that you know what you want” ~ Richard Koch

Start paying attention to what you want. It may sound silly to think that people don’t know what they want. The truth is that they do, deep inside they do. Folks just don’t think it’s really possible for them. So they stay stuck in the muck of settling and accepting status quo.

They tell themselves that only “other people” get everything they want. Start believing that YOU are other people. Start believing that things are possible for you.

Once you start to believe, that’s when opportunity shows up. You may be shaking in your boots when such opportunity presents itself, but go for it anyway.

Make a list of what you want. Start with the type of work, the type of colleagues, the type of client. If you could have it all, what would that be?

How about your relationships? Satisfying and fulfilling? Do you have all the varied stimulation to make you happy and fulfilled?

This is a great place to start to focus. Begin to let go of the people who hold you back, drag you down, belittle you or live in fear or anger. Spend less time with the people who don’t believe and start to seek out others who do believe in the power of their dreams.

Hanging with people who are working towards what they want believing they can have it all will have a tremendous impact on your life.

Where is your aim set?

Why have you set the bar so low?

If you don’t aim properly, you’ll never get it. Start adjusting now.

A Bucket List Needs a Never Say Never Attitude

Many people have a bucket list. A mental list or a written down list, it does not matter. Having hopes and dreams is fuel for the future. I will never run out of things I want to do.

You can check off something from the list every week.  Maybe it’s playing in the leaves. Maybe it’s talking a walk at sunset or sunrise. Maybe it’s sweeping turkey poop.

What? That’s not on your list?

Well, it’s not on mine exactly, but I never thought I would enjoy having “pet” turkeys so much, even if they are prolific poopers.

The joy of turkeys strutting around outweighs the sweeping away of their daily doo doo. And believe me it’s a lot of doo doo.

There are many things that I love that I never thought I would enjoy. Some I never knew existed. Some I never entertained the possibility. In addition to the bucket list mentality, maintain a Never Say Attitude.

Ten years ago, I never thought I would be a published author. Several times over. Five years ago I had not even met my Prince Charming, let alone be aware that such a magnificent depth of love existed.

Never say never.

I never thought I would kick the Coke habit. I never thought I would devour pizza with spinach on it. I never thought I would love to go kayaking.

I knew that my babies would someday grow up and leave home, but I never thought I would be putting boys on planes to go to school. I never imagined that I could enjoy their young adulthood as much I enjoyed their toddlerhood.

I never anticipated becoming an instant nana and the joy that would bring. Who knows what the future holds for the rest of our combined children, and if the remaining three boys decide to never have kids, that’s their choice and fine with me. I’ve got my girl.

I never thought I would be traveling around the country speaking and sponsoring and masterminding and mentoring. Ten years ago I was scared to death to take the stage and speak, and now, there’s no shutting me up.

Never say never.

I never imagined having a cleaning lady, a bookkeeper, and a personal assistant coming to my home office. I never imagined wanting a recumbent bike. I never imagined how much peace it brings to sit and watch the birds, squirrels, and chipmunks play in their yard. (I’m told they are not playing.)

To keep learning keeps you young, so add that to your bucket list. Take a class for the pure novelty of if. Take Italian if it interests you, even if you have no trip on the horizon. Take an arty class, even if you feel you do not have a creative bone in your body. You may surprise yourself.

Many people discover new talents, interests, and joys later in life. Stay open and keep that never say never attitude, even if you are a bit skeptical.

I was contacted by a gal in her 80s wanting to write a book. She says she cannot do the illustrations any more since her hands are a bit shaky, but she has the stories written. So if you have a bucket list item and that voice in you is saying “You’re too old,” please shush that voice right now.

Keep little things on the list too. They are just as fun. And doable. Right now, I’m off for a piece of pie. I never used to like pie, I was purely a cake kind of gal. Never say never.

(Kelly Epperson Simmons is an author, speaker, and book coach. She helps people fulfill their dreams and she keeps adding to hers. To hire Kelly as a coach or to speak to your group, contact info@kellyepperson.com or call toll free 888-637-3563.)

Photo Credit: Flickr

Live Music Feeds My Soul

We go to concerts and musicals often. Prince Charming and I both love music and there is something profoundly moving about music performed live.

After every concert this year, on the drive home I make the comment that I am going to write down a list of all the concerts and musicals I have attended. I’m not sure why I want to do that or who I think would be impressed. Actually I think it’s an exercise in gratitude.       

I am in awe of the talent of the singers, actors and musicians. Their love for their craft, their emotion, their pure talent is a joy to behold.

This past weekend we headed up to Milwaukee. Friday night was KT Tunstall at the Pabst Theatre. The place is gorgeous. Give me a gilded historic hall and I already am enchanted. The opening act was a guy with a guitar. He was charming, had a great voice, and was a perfect opener.

KT took the stage and held command for the night. I knew nothing about her except for two songs, and now I am a fan. She hails from Scotland, moved to London to pursue her career and recorded her latest album in Tucson.

She is an entertainer. To be solo on stage for the evening is no small feat. She was delightful in story and song.

The next day was a different neighboring theater (The Rep) and the event was the epic musical, Ragtime. It’s a large production number with a large cast and a large storyline. And it was magnificent.

The swell of the music, the coming together of the voices, the dance, the emotion, the spectacle of it all. Oh my goodness, I take it all in and my appreciation comes out sometimes in misty eyes and thunderous applause.

To perform in a musical is different than a solo act on stage, just as compelling and equally as magical.

To see the joy on their faces as they take the curtain call is one of my favorite parts of the day. They work so hard, show after show, day after day, and their gratitude does not fade. Every performance is the result of all the hard work that went into the show for all the weeks before.

To be a stage player is a job I know nothing about, yet I assume for most of them, it is a dream come true. That’s another thing I admire about the all shows we go to. These folks are doing what they love.

Perhaps that is part of the appeal for me. The energy is not just the music, the lyrics, the choreography. Whether we are watching a rock star on stage or the ensemble cast of a play, the energy exudes gratitude.

A singer at a concert says, “Thank you” after just about every song. At a play, they say it with their eyes until they can come out and the end and take a bow and blow kisses to say their thanks.

I am incredibly grateful for the gifts of those who bring me music. For gorgeous theaters, opening acts, old standbys, and every note and every lyric. I thank you. Keep on playing.

(Kelly Epperson Simmons is an author/speaker/coach who sings and dances on stages in her mind. Write info@kellyepperson.com or toll free 888-637-3563.)

Photo Credit: Flickr

Making Lists of Fall To Do Items

I’m good at making lists. I should start a master list to maintain the status of all my sublists. Grocery lists. Business to do lists. Honey do around the house lists. Even thinking ahead to holiday shopping lists.

We often talk about bucket lists. I would like to suggest a list of things to do before the fall has fallen away. We’ve experienced a gorgeous fall so far, but with the frost overnight, it reminds that the seasons around here do indeed change.

Many folks in the Midwest state that autumn is their favorite season. I don’t like to play favorites, but fall is indeed mighty glorious. Even if you don’t really dig autumn, perhaps you may be enticed to do a few random fall things on the list.

Here goes:

Eat a cider donut. You knew that one was coming. I no longer eat donuts except for these delights that happen around here this time of year. Apples taste better in the fall too.

Crunch through some leaves. If you want to rake up a big pile, come on over. If you want to play with the blower, come on over. If you want to see a wide variety, come on over.

Go for a drive and take in the fall color. That is the only mission of your drive. You set out purposely to witness the trees in their dandy finest. Find a big, pretty leaf and send it to someone who lives where there is no seasonal change. I send leaves to my Arizona boy. (I send him donuts too.)

Go to a park and walk around. Breathe the air deep into your lungs. Look. Listen. Like it. Notice how blue the sky is. Notice how fresh the air feels. Notice the lack of bugs.

Take stock of summer and the fun you had. Tuck away the memories, either with photos or simply in your file folders in your mind, and be thankful for the feel of the hot sun on your skin.

Look ahead to the upcoming holiday season. Thanksgiving falls late this year. December is two days after Turkey Day. Start making a list of what gifts you have in mind for your special somebodies. Consider online shopping this year and use the time away from the stores doing something else. Maybe you have a party this year. Maybe you slow down and enjoy the decorating. Perhaps you bake every week and eat the yummies as you go. There is no law that says we cannot indulge in holiday treats prior to the holidays.

If you send a holiday photo, take it this fall. Gather your lovelies and go outside beside a flaming tree and snap a picture for posterity.

Get your bird feeders ready for the change in season. You will be glad you did when you can watch colorful birds outside your window this winter amid a sea of white.

Wash your windows. It’s more pleasing to the eye to take out the screens and have a clean view to watch the seasons change.

Prepare your fireplace for the glorious first fire. Candles and music can be on the list too.

Make a list of the places you didn’t go this summer that you want to visit next year. Prince Charming and I made a two page list of weekend places and day trips. We did it all except for two. They will go on the list to start next year’s fun in the summertime adventures.

Make a wish list for Santa. No matter your age or belief system, jot a dream list for yourself. Next year at this time see how many came true!

(Kelly Epperson Simmons, author/speaker/coach, makes lists and dreams big. It works. To hire Kelly as book coach or speaker, contact info@kellyepperson.com or toll free 888-637-3563.)

Photo Credit: Flickr

Listen to Your Heart

Intuition. Instinctive knowledge. It never lies. Ponder your connection with your intuition. Are you tapped in?

The mind is good and yes, it is wise to use our heads. It is also wise to use your heart. If the decision ever comes down to your mind or your heart, listen to your heart.

Listen to your heart.

Cease trying to work everything out with your minds. It will get you nowhere. Live by intuition and inspiration and let your whole life be Revelation. – Eileen Caddy

Don’t try to comprehend with your mind. Your minds are very limited. Use your intuition.  – Madeleine L’Engle, A Wrinkle in Time

Intuition is seeing with the soul.  – Dean Koontz

If you let your fear of consequence prevent you from following your deepest instinct, your life will be safe, expedient and thin.  – Katharine Butler Hathaway

At times you have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you’ll discover will be wonderful. What you’ll discover is yourself.  – Alan Alda

I rely far more on gut instinct than researching huge amounts of statistics. – Sir Richard Branson

Once you get rid of the idea that you must please other people before you please yourself, and you begin to follow your own instincts-only then can you be successful. You become more satisfied, and when you are, other people tend to be satisfied by what you do.  – Raquel Welch

Your mind knows only some things. Your inner voice, your instinct, knows everything. If you listen to what you know instinctively, it will always lead you down the right path.  – Henry Winkler

One of the reasons why so few of us ever act, instead of react, is because we are continually stifling our deepest impulses.  – Henry Miller

Learn to let your intution – gut instinct – tell you when the food, the relationship, the job isn’t good for you (and conversely, when what you’re doing is just right.  – Oprah Winfrey

Listen to your intuition. It will tell you everything you need to know.  – Anthony J. D’Angelo

The only real valuable thing is intuition.  - Albert Einstein

Trusting you intuition means tuning in as deeply as you can to the energy you feel, following that energy moment to moment, trusting that it will lead you where you want to go and bring you everything you desire.  – Shakti Gawain

Intuition is the highest form of intelligence, transcending all individual abilities and skills.  – Sylvia Clare

Trust the instinct to the end, though you can render no reason.  – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Intuition is your Source whispering to you.  – Karen Whitaker

 

Trust your intuition.

It will never steer you wrong.

Does Halloween Scare You?

I was not the mom who made adorable, clever homemade costumes for my kids. Store-bought Power Ranger suits (for several years in a row) did the trick just fine.

We did attempt a costume one year for Cub Scouts. My grade school son and I crafted a robot out of aluminum foil and a grocery bag. I was proud of our efforts and really miffed when the Scout leader made fun of it. (Yes, I was miffed because I still remember it. My son does not.)

I give any kids and moms an A for effort when it comes to making their own ideas come to life. My bonus daughter painted an awesome Spongebob on a big box for our granddaughter to wear. It is cute, spot on resemblance, and as good as anything you could buy in a store. Better.

She could start a business making costumes for all the moms who are too busy or too artsy-challenged to do it themselves. She is like most creative people who do these things – they take their talent for granted. She thinks it is no big deal and that everyone can do this kind of stuff.

Wrong-o.

We all have talents. We all have different talents. You want me to write an article about the kids in the Halloween parade, yessir, I will do that. You want me to make the costumes? No thanks. You want me to run the games for the kids? I can, but someone else would really shine. You want me to make the decorated rice crispy treats that look like Dracula sleeping in a coffin? Only if I can buy them somewhere.

We all have creativity. We all just express it differently. My husband is the alchemist of the kitchen. I am the appreciater.

That’s how it works. We need folks to do their thing so we can marvel at it. I can write a gazillion words per day, but stitching a straight hem will take me a lot of time and frustration. People who can sew, my hat is off to them.

You sing in the choir and I will be the one tearing up at the beauty of the combined voices lifted to the heavens. You build a birdhouse and I will be the one showing everyone and telling the world how adorable it is. You paint a mural on my wall and I will post pictures on Facebook for all the world to see your skill.

So, moms of the October moon who do not enjoy the costume creation, take heart. You have got other things that use your creative genius. So do that. Let someone else take over the costume making.

This year, I am going as an empty nester. Not really, but it’s a great idea. Feel free to use it. Please give me credit and send me photos of your creation. I have a bird nest you could use. Put it on your head, your shoulder, or strap it around your waist. When people give that puzzled look, you say your babies have flown the nest and are in college now. They’ll get it and you’ll get an “aww” and a hug.

No matter what age or stage you are at, don’t fret about the costumes. Buy, rent or borrow. Or ask my Bonus Daughter to make you something. And if you are good at making cookies, I will gladly sing your praises and appreciate you if you decide to bring me some.

(Kelly Epperson is an author/speaker/coach who really does love cookies and her readers. To work with Kelly, write info@kellyepperson.com or call toll free 815-871-7864.)

Photo Credit: Flickr

Hell Yeah!

Click here to learn more…

I want you to experience what I have experienced this past year.

One year ago, I had never heard of Larry Winget and I had never attended a Suzanne Evans event. I went to their first joint event last November and it rocked my world.

This past year, everything has exploded for me. I got a money coach. I joined Suzanne’s 10K Club program and I am now having 10K months from my book coaching, not my ghostwriting. Because of the connections I have made, I will soon be having my own event in New York City. So many amazing things – all because I went to the Larry/Suzanne event.

This year, they are doing it again. I am inviting you to join me.

If you are starting a biz, or thinking about it, or want to take your current business to new heights, you have to join me there.

And the best part — you come as my guest!

Get your ticket here.

I’ll host a little party for us there too!

One year ago, I was chicken to take the mic in the audience to ask a question. This year, I am joining Larry and Suzanne on the main stage.

Big things can happen in one short year. Please know that it is all possible for you. Get your ticket here and send me your email confirmation of your registration so I can send you some surprise bonuses!

I well up a little thinking about this past year. Imagine a year from now, what you can be saying.

Larry Winget and Suzanne Evans are calling their event this year HELL YEAH STAR. It’s a 3-day experience. And you will not truly understand the depth and power unless you are there in the flesh. It’s not just another “here’s a binder full of great content” kind of thing. It’s experiential in every sense of the word. Suzanne pulls out all the stops.

I promise you will never be the same.

The words “life changing” are so overused that I hesitate to say them here, as it sounds like marketing hype. I know it to be true for me, that this event was life changing. I know it can be for you.

Grab your ticket NOW (they go away Friday!) and join me in Atlanta. November 22-24. Let’s celebrate together!

Hell yeah!

Cheers,

Kelly

PS – You know me well enough to know that I only get googly when something is really good. I am a tough critic and have high expectations. This will not disappoint. It will take you to a whole new level of how you see yourself, in business and in life.

Enter the House of Your Own Wisdom

Inspiration boards surround my desk. When I look up from my computer, there is something to motivate or inspire or calm me.

A quote by Kahlil Gibran reads: “No man can reveal to you aught but that which already lies half asleep in the dawning of your knowledge. The teacher who walks in the shadow of the temple, among his followers, gives not of his wisdom but rather of his faith and his lovingness. If he is indeed wise he does not bid you enter the house of his wisdom, but rather leads you to the threshold of your own mind.”

This reminds me that all the answers are within me. This reminds me that all the answers are within my clients.

I invest heavily in my own learning and growth and it is with those teachers who do not bid me to enter the house of their wisdom but to excavate and discover all that is within me.

I do the same for those whom I work with.

My coaching does not consist of prescribed methodology or rigid structure. Yes, there is structure. There is guidance. There is a framework. There is a step by step system, a process to follow.

The real coaching comes in giving of faith and lovingness to let folks allow themselves to trust the process, and to trust themselves.

The answers are within. The wisdom is there. The beauty is there. The knowledge, the love, the insights, the whatever it is that you want to share with the world is there. The key is trusting yourself and trusting the process to let it come forth.

Trust is one of my favorite words. It is written in all caps on my whiteboard. It is my go-to word, my anchor.

When things go askew, it is usually because I am doubting myself. When I reaffirm to trust the process and trust myself, the ship rights itself again and onward we sail.

When I trust myself to put myself out there, in writing or in speaking or in any way, that’s when the real magic happens. That is when the connection happens. That is when opportunities happen.

teacher My clients come in to the process at all degrees of trusting in themselves. We all waver from time to time. No comparing, no judging, and no negative self-talk is the place to start (and always return to).

Confidence comes in the doing. Everyone comes out the other end of the project more trusting, more relieved, more buoyed, and more ready, willing and able to move ahead to the next endeavor and adventure.

Many are inspired to write more books, create products or programs, and take the stage to speak. It all starts with a nugget of trust.

If you are engulfed in the wave of self-doubt, know that it will pass. To speed the process, make a list of all your accomplishments. All of them. Go way back to learning how to ride a bike or baking a pie or tying a slipknot. Keep listing things you have done, big and small. Start to feel the energy of all you have done, all you have learned, all you have experimented with and learned from. Add to the list as new things pop into your head.

Keep the list around to refer to when you have a moment of “Who am I to do this?” You are the person who has done all those things. This is one more that you will add to the list.

Post something on your inspiration board to remind you to trust yourself. Those words alone will do it. Speak in your own language. This is what is written at the top of my board and it may resonate with you too:

Relax. Have fun. Be awesome.

‘Nuff said.