Kelly Epperson's Blog, page 3

Write a Good One

“Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365-page book. Write a good on e.”  ~Brad Paisley

I love this quote for several reasons.

The sentiment is spot on. We are ALWAYS writing our own story.

Every day is a blank page and you determine if you play the hero/heroine or the victim. And just so you know, playing the victim is a drag so don’t linger there too long. A couple of pages of that and you will see.

I like the imagery of a book. We all can picture the blank pages and the possibility there.

Books matter. Books have been my friend and my saving grace. It doesn’t matter if you get books old school or electronically, the printed word is what we look to for our information and our inspiration. I have clutched books to my chest and I have kissed them. I am grateful for books.

On the flip side of reading, writing brings me joy and comfort, and inspiration to others. I feel my best when I am writing. Writing has opened doors for me and touched people in ways I never could have dreamed. Again, I am grateful.

I love this quote because it is appropriate for the new year when we all are reminded anew that we can take the reins and create our own life story. We can make it a good one. I dig this quote too because I like Brad Paisley. He doesn’t seem to care about others’ opinions. He simply makes music that loves playing and singing, and his songs have a subtle sense of humor. He seems happy with himself and life. That’s all any of us want, and it’s something we all can have.

If part of your life story is writing a book, quit putting it off. Write the story of becoming an author and step into it. TODAY is the first blank page. Write a good one.

Photo Credit: Pinterest

Happy New Year! Happy Past Year! Happy Today!

Tis the season to be jolly. Unless you are reading this after January 1, then it’s back to business. Time to buckle down to those new year’s resolutions and get your tax documents ready.    Bah humbug to that!

Every season is the season to be jolly! Ebenezer Scrooge and the Grinch may have bad reputations, but they both overcame their crabby, miserly ways and their hearts grew to enjoy the  festivities and daily life in general.

The holiday season is not the only time to eat, drink, and be merry. This is not the only time to enjoy friends and families and colleagues. Maybe you start a new tradition of having a party once a month, just because.

Make your intention this year one of relaxation and fun. I am met at every turn with people who preach that to me. So I preach that to you. Choose the path that is more fun.

At the end of your days here, I highly doubt you will regret that choice.

The author and life coach Martha Beck prescribes two steps to a happier life. One – Do what brings you joy. Step Two – seriously, do what brings you joy.

How often do you let the joy factor enter in your decisions? Maybe that can be your intention for the new year.

Notice I do not say resolution. “I resolve to…” does not have a ring of fun to it. It sounds serious and gloomy. “It is my heartfelt intention to pay attention to what brings me joy and infuse a bit more of that into my every day life.” That feels better, doesn’t it?

Never say never. I was not born happy and light of heart. I was the little girl who broke out in hives the night before first grade, worried that I might not be able to learn how to read. Oh how we worry! And how those worries are a waste of time.

I have learned to focus on the present moment, on gratitude, and all the good that I have and that I am capable of. I make my choices based on love and fun for the most part. Sure, I fall back into fear and self doubt sometimes. We all do. But the bulk of my life is happy and focused on inspiring others.

Even when it comes to the “necessities” like taxes, I can put on music and spend a couple hours gathering information for the tax man. Learning how to be organized throughout the year is actually a part of a joy filled life. Learning how to cut stress matters.

That is my wish for you as we bid adieu to this year and usher in another. As you turn the calendar page, make the silent vow to treat yourself right this year. Tell yourself that you will implement ways to reduce tension and infuse more levity.

You will honor yourself with bits of joy in every day. You will savor your food, your conversations, your moments of self reflection. You will learn to trust in yourself and believe that all is well.

Not because you should. Banish the word ‘should’ from your vocabulary. You will because it feels good and right. You will because you want to have a little more fun before you leave this planet.

And that is enough! Happy new year!

Photo Credit: Flickr

Guidance from Rainer Maria Rilke

I went online to find the exact quote about “Let us welcome the new year, full of things that have never been” to use as the parting shot in my ezine. I ended up marinating in so many more wonderful words of wisdom from Rainer Maria Rilke that I decided to share some with you. (And I ended up using “Ah, how good it is to be among people who are reading!” as my parting shot.)

Let us pause and ponder as we say goodbye to 2013 and welcome 2014, full of things that have never been.

Settle in and take a few moments to read and let the words move you in whatever way they will. I’ll withhold my commentary. Your inner wisdom will speak to you. Blessings and love to you.

 

“The only journey is the one within.”

“Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love.”

“And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now.”

“Let everything happen to you

Beauty and terror

Just keep going

No feeling is final.”

“This is what the things can teach us: to fall, patiently to trust our heaviness. Even a bird has to do that before he can fly.

“you are not too old

and it is not too late

to dive into your increasing depths

where life calmly gives out

its own secret”

“I live not in dreams but in contemplation of a reality that is perhaps the future.”

“May what I do flow from me like a river, no forcing and no holding back, the way it is with children.

“I live my life in widening circles that reach out across the world.”

“Find out the reason that commands you to write; see whether it has spread its roots into the very depth of your heart; confess to yourself you would have to die if you were forbidden to write.”

“And now we welcome the new year, full of things that have never been.”

I Can Do It All On My Own

Here we are, end of December 2013. Did you have any goals at the beginning of the year? Did you have any desires? Did you have any plan to make them come true? Did you seek out any help to get you there?

I used to be someone who thought all I needed was me. I am a smart cookie and can work hard and I love being independent. That’s great. Those qualities got me so far. I also would still be back there in the quicksand of “I can do this all on my own” and not reaching my fullest potential if I had not reached out for help.

Help comes in many forms. Housecleaner. Bookkeeper. Husband who cooks. Hiring coaches. Each of those was a big deal for me. The “I can do this all on my own” gremlin is pretty vocal. He makes you feel bad for paying someone to clean your house or do your books. His voice says that I am lazy and if I just managed my time better, I could do it all. He is very good at twisting the truth.

The “I can do this all on my own” gremlin is actually what stops many people from achieving their goals and desires. He tells you that you don’t need anybody else and you are somewhat “less than” if you reach out for support. He is wrong. A million times wrong.

The smartest and strongest thing you can do is hire support. It shows that you really do believe in yourself.

Getting support helps you become MORE THAN you ever thought possible. The “I can do this all on my own” gremlin prefers you stay stuck in your muck instead of taking that act of bravery  to get help. Moving on down the path to one’s dreams can be a bit scary. We want it, yet we hold back.

Paying a coach was one of the scariest things I have ever done (driving in Paris was another, but that’s a story for another day). If not for paying for several coaches at this point, I would not be living this life I am living now. I would not have had the confidence nor the strategy to do all the things I am doing.

I used to think it weird that anyone would pay a life coach or a business coach or a book coach. Now I think it weird when people refuse to pay for one. Those are the folks who will stay stuck, making an occasional step forward and then spinning round in circles before another step happens.

When you give the gremlin the boot and say, “I am worth investing in myself,” that’s when you finally do achieve your goals and desires.

As you look ahead to 2014, what do you want? Do you want confidence? Do you want to grow your business? Do you want to write a book? There are people who can help you. With that help, you will know the joy that spurs you on to more goals and dreams. It’s an upward spiral, not a spinning in the muck.

I have been there. I know muck. And I know plucking oneself from the muck is when things change. I now continue to pay coaches to help me stay out of the mucksand and keep me moving forward on my path. Sometimes it’s still scary. My gremlin still is quite vocal. I give him a cookie to shut him up and I hire more support. I achieve goals. It feels amazing. And on we go.

If you need a cookie to shut up your gremlin, I’ve got plenty. You are smart and independent and wise enough to know that a little help gets you where you want to go. I have carved out a few time slots in my calendar for a complimentary private call with me to help you wrap up the new year and look to the new with excitement in your heart.

Spots are limited. Sign up here https://www.timetrade.com/book/LY8QG

Give the gremlin the heave-ho along with a hearty ho-ho-ho. Tis the season to gift yourself something more than a glass of eggnog and an ugly sweater. Give yourself the gift of getting support to make your 2014 the year you pursue your goals and desires.

Here’s to you! And driving in Paris! And ugly sweaters! Cheers!

Photo Credit: Flickr

I can do it all on my own

Here we are, end of December 2013. Did you have any goals at the beginning of the year? Did you have any desires? Did you have any plan to make them come true? Did you seek out any help to get you there?

I used to be someone who thought all I needed was me. I am a smart cookie and can work hard and I love being independent. That’s great. Those qualities got me so far. I also would still be back there in the quicksand of “I can do this all on my own” and not reaching my fullest potential if I had not reached out for help.

Help comes in many forms. Housecleaner. Bookkeeper. Husband who cooks. Hiring coaches. Each of those was a big deal for me. The “I can do this all on my own” gremlin is pretty vocal. He makes you feel bad for paying someone to clean your house or do your books. His voice says that I am lazy and if I just managed my time better, I could do it all. He is very good at twisting the truth.

The “I can do this all on my own” gremlin is actually what stops many people from achieving their goals and desires. He tells you that you don’t need anybody else and you are somewhat “less than” if you reach out for support. He is wrong. A million times wrong.

The smartest and strongest thing you can do is hire support. It shows that you really do believe in yourself.

Getting support helps you become MORE THAN you ever thought possible. The “I can do this all on my own” gremlin prefers you stay stuck in your muck instead of taking that act of bravery  to get help. Moving on down the path to one’s dreams can be a bit scary. We want it, yet we hold back.

Paying a coach was one of the scariest things I have ever done (driving in Paris was another, but that’s a story for another day). If not for paying for several coaches at this point, I would not be living this life I am living now. I would not have had the confidence nor the strategy to do all the things I am doing.

I used to think it weird that anyone would pay a life coach or a business coach or a book coach. Now I think it weird when people refuse to pay for one. Those are the folks who will stay stuck, making an occasional step forward and then spinning round in circles before another step happens.

When you give the gremlin the boot and say, “I am worth investing in myself,” that’s when you finally do achieve your goals and desires.

As you look ahead to 2014, what do you want? Do you want confidence? Do you want to grow your business? Do you want to write a book? There are people who can help you. With that help, you will know the joy that spurs you on to more goals and dreams. It’s an upward spiral, not a spinning in the muck.

I have been there. I know muck. And I know plucking oneself from the muck is when things change. I now continue to pay coaches to help me stay out of the mucksand and keep me moving forward on my path. Sometimes it’s still scary. My gremlin still is quite vocal. I give him a cookie to shut him up and I hire more support. I achieve goals. It feels amazing. And on we go.

If you need a cookie to shut up your gremlin, I’ve got plenty. You are smart and independent and wise enough to know that a little help gets you where you want to go. I have carved out a few time slots in my calendar for a complimentary private call with me to help you wrap up the new year and look to the new with excitement in your heart.

Spots are limited. Sign up here https://www.timetrade.com/book/LY8QG

Give the gremlin the heave-ho along with a hearty ho-ho-ho. Tis the season to gift yourself something more than a glass of eggnog and an ugly sweater. Give yourself the gift of getting support to make your 2014 the year you pursue your goals and desires.

Here’s to you! And driving in Paris! And ugly sweaters! Cheers!

Open Hearts

I have had a bout of existential angst.

When I married Prince Charming, I was also gifted his two sons, one daughter-in-law, and one granddaughter; I consider my daughter-in-law to be my bonus daughter. Bonus Daughter, age 28, a tiny tiny gal, and an absolute joy, just had open heart surgery. It was gut-wrenching and heartbreaking (no pun intended) to have her in such overwhelming pain.

The surgery itself, no small feat, went well. The recovery week was a roller coaster. As I type, she is supposed to be getting her release papers from the hospital (but your silent wishes of love and healing to her are most welcome).  I hesitate using her story in my story. She is a private person.

Her pain is nothing I will ever know. My pain was a different kind of thing, one that many of us experience. Feeling helpless when someone we love suffers is hard. As much I channel positivity, I have been flooded with the gamut of emotions.

I am an emotional gal to begin with; throw in some hormones, lack of sleep, and big life events, and I was a weepy, wondering “what really matters anyway” mush ball.

What really matters? What really matters.

For me, love. I have a boatload of stuff on my plate for the new year, starting right off in January, and I have been contemplating the Big Questions of Life. If my business no longer existed, what I put so much time, energy, money and emotion into, what then? As long as I still have love, I’m okay. If our home no longer existed, what we put so much time, energy, money and emotion into, what then? As long as I still have love, I’m okay.

I can get all wrapped up in my To Do list and my next Action Step and following the advice of business mentors and constantly learning and goal tracking and ……… you know what I mean. There is nothing wrong with any of that. It’s all quite wonderful. As long as I don’t lose the core of me. And for me, that is love and joy.

As I pondered What Really Matters, I confirmed within myself yet again that I love writing. I love reading. I love expressing. I love helping YOU write and express.

We all dillydally and hesitate and hold ourselves our back. Why? Why are we so chicken?

What really matters to you?

If sharing your message/mission/memoir matters to you, why are you waiting? I see (yet again) what I do matters, and now I feel it matters even more. I have a renewed mission to help people write. For their joy, for their business growth, for whatever reason.

If you have a desire in you, follow it. You don’t have to wait until faced with the deep question of What Really Matters. What have you been putting off? Why?

This upcoming year, I teach courses on how to birth your book, how to write for the pure joy of it, and I help my private clients in all kinds of ways. And it brings me joy.

Existential angst can lead to some pretty good awareness. What really matters. Love and joy. Books matter. The information and inspiration on those pages matter. What you have to say matters. Open your heart and let it out.

One Who Strongly Greets with Joy, Peace, and Harmony

ziix quih haasax haaptxö quih áno cöcacaaixaj

one who strongly greets with joy/peace/harmony

That phrase is from the Seri language, spoken in Mexico. I saw the phrase in a magazine and clipped it for my bulletin board, my inspiration board.

The busier I get, the more I need to stay rooted in my joy. I can get caught up in my list of to do’s and my focus can become more of the get-it-done instead of peace and harmony. I also know that getting stuff done brings me joy.

It’s about priorities. It’s about the inner reason for doing whatever it is that you do. Yes, we are all in business to make money. You also need to enjoy your day. I think it’s important to enjoy your clients.

I love my clients. They are wonderful people doing good things in the world. Helping them birth their books makes me happy because I know what they do makes the world a better place, plain and simple.

I aim to be one who strongly greets with joy, peace and harmony. I don’t always know if I pull that off or not, yet I am thanked with comments of being “the quiet voice of wisdom” and for making the process enjoyable.

As you go about your day, be it with family, friends, colleagues or strangers, are you the one who greets with joy?

As you contemplate the upcoming year, who do you want to be/how do you want to be? Why? Whatever it is you do, you can have a stronger impact by strongly greeting with peace and harmony. It’s not just a feel good warm fuzzy for the holidays. It’s a life choice.

Being the ziix quih haasax haaptxö quih áno cöcacaaixaj is a daily decision. I don’t know how to pronounce it. I just want to be it. As you ponder the month ahead, and the year ahead, think of how you show up in life. Stay rooted in your joy.

Photo Credit: Flickr

ziix quih haasax haaptxö quih áno cöcacaaixaj

ziix quih haasax haaptxö quih áno cöcacaaixaj

one who strongly greets with joy/peace/harmony

That phrase is from the Seri language, spoken in Mexico. I saw the phrase in a magazine and clipped it for my bulletin board, my inspiration board.

The busier I get, the more I need to stay rooted in my joy. I can get caught up in my list of to do’s and my focus can become more of the get-it-done instead of peace and harmony. I also know that getting stuff done brings me joy.

It’s about priorities. It’s about the inner reason for doing whatever it is that you do. Yes, we are all in business to make money. You also need to enjoy your day. I think it’s important to enjoy your clients.

I love my clients. They are wonderful people doing good things in the world. Helping them birth their books makes me happy because I know what they do makes the world a better place, plain and simple.

I aim to be one who strongly greets with joy, peace and harmony. I don’t always know if I pull that off or not, yet I am thanked with comments of being “the quiet voice of wisdom” and for making the process enjoyable.

As you go about your day, be it with family, friends, colleagues or strangers, are you the one who greets with joy?

As you contemplate the upcoming year, who do you want to be/how do you want to be? Why? Whatever it is you do, you can have a stronger impact by strongly greeting with peace and harmony. It’s not just a feel good warm fuzzy for the holidays. It’s a life choice.

Being the ziix quih haasax haaptxö quih áno cöcacaaixaj is a daily decision. I don’t know how to pronounce it. I just want to be it. As you ponder the month ahead, and the year ahead, think of how you show up in life. Stay rooted in your joy.

Be a Celebrity

The first time I was asked to be a “Celebrity Reader,” it made me feel honored and awkward. The other celebrity readers were from the local hockey team or the television station or the mayor. I was “just” an author and newspaper columnist. The kids and the teachers didn’t mind. They thought it was cool.

The word “celebrity” is defined as a famous person. When I first started writing my newspaper column, we lived in a small community. I would often get stopped in the store by someone who would mention that they loved my recent column. Of course, I loved those conversations. One day, my younger son said, “Mom, you’re famous in Pecatonica.” That cracked me up. In a town with a population of 2,000, everyone is well known.

As I have moved to larger cities and larger career accomplishments, being asked to be a local celebrity judge/participant in various community fundraisers or events still made me feel honored and awkward.

Why? I always poo-pooed my accomplishments. I compared myself to the folks who really are famous. I always inserted the word “just” into my definition of my bio. My wiring told me that if I embraced my accomplishments, or dare to consider myself a celebrity, I would be an egomaniac, boastful, full of myself, arrogant, whatever, insert your word here.

I was sweet and humble, not a celebrity. In my wiring, celebrity somehow meant I couldn’t be nice. See how crazy our wiring can be?

Where do you downplay your accomplishments or say that you are “just” a this or that? I now work with my authors to own their credentials, whatever they may be. It does not mean you are boastful. It means you have done some pretty cool stuff in the world, you can be proud of it, and you can use that to help others.

There will always be a few blowhards out there talking up how great they are, trying to convince you of their ability. People see right through that.

You don’t have to convince. You simply need to convey.

Be yourself. And also let yourself be honored when others recognize your accomplishments. I still sometimes get surprised when I am asked to be a celebrity judge or celebrity anything, but now I see it as a gift. It’s something fun I get to do simply because I do what I do. I use my talents to help other people. If someone wants to recognize me for that, I say thank you.

I have rewired my thinking. Celebrity does not mean boastful. It means recognized and appreciated – isn’t that what we all want?

So someday down the road, when I ask you to be a celebrity author to share your experience with my groups, I know you will be honored to do so. And I thank you. Cheers to us all!

I Meet Deepak

We met Deepak Chopra last week. He was in Chicago promoting a new book. The man has written 75 books, speaks all over the world, and people pay thousands to spend a weekend to sit in meditation with him.

Ours was a brief encounter and I’m glad for the experience, on many levels.

Sure, he’s famous, but fame doesn’t thrill me and he does not radiate star power. He radiates a calm energy. It’s not just his soft-spoken mannerism, it’s the relaxed state of being that he resides in within his own skin. How to be one with yourself is what Deepak teaches. How to relax, be, and quit thinking so darn much is my goal.

To be in the company of those who live it helps me. I’m doing that more and more in my daily life and it’s encouraging to have more and more opportunities to surround myself with others leading by example.

In April of this year, I wrote in my journal: I meet Deepak Chopra. Writing it down amused me because the thought came out of nowhere. I do not often read Deepak, I do not meditate regularly, (well, maybe now I will start), and I don’t watch Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday.  I was having a little morning quiet time of reflection and writing in my sunroom, and one sentence strong and clear resonated within me: I meet Deepak Chopra.

The statement came to me in a matter of fact way. Not as a wish list kind of thing, but as a pronouncement.

Just as I could say with utter conviction that I brush my teeth daily, the fact that I meet Deepak was that simple and clear and concise. It was a given. I accepted it as true and tucked it away as “Someday, I will meet Deepak.”

Six months later, I did. I didn’t know he was on a book tour or coming to Chicago. My Prince Charming texted me recently asking if I would be interested in seeing Deepak speak. My hubby didn’t know I had written down many months ago that I would meet the man. I simply responded “Sure” and he said, “Great, I already got the tickets.”

Those who read my column, my books, and ezine know that I am all about living your dreams. Meeting Deepak was not a dream come true. It was confirmation that when my soul speaks to me in concrete terms, those things do come to fruition. Taking the time to hang out with myself to hear my soul speak is the key message here.

It lines up perfectly that Mr. Chopra is the world-renowned “expert” who preaches just that. He may not word it like I do, but the gist is the same. The more you hang out with yourself, the more you get in tune with you and the greater connection to the whole.

My journey started these past few years and yet I am just beginning. Most mornings I take some time for myself, reading or writing or gazing at the beauty that nature presents me out my sunroom window.

I don’t sit cross legged with fingertips touching chanting om. I don’t feel transcended or enlightened. I only know that when I don’t take time for myself, I don’t feel as calm, or as productive, or as loving, to myself or others. I get caught up in the hectic pace of the day and that serves no one.

More important that meeting Deepak is meeting me. Every morning. That’s the sentence coming to me this morning: I meet me.

That’s the practice that matters. That’s when the good stuff happens. That’s how I best serve, that’s how I best be.

What do you do to meet yourself? Do you take time to hang out with yourself?

When clients first begin to work with me they often ask how they can prepare for our first brainstorming call. I tell them to take a walk or sit for a minutes and just breathe. No thinking, no “preparing” – just hanging out and listening to the inner voice.

That Inner Voice is the guidance for your book and the guidance for your life. You just need to take a few minutes every day to tap in to it. You don’t have to read Deepak or meet Deepak. You simply need to read you, meet you.

That’s how you create calm within. That’s how you remain productive and loving to yourself and others. That’s how you get the hectic day without feeling frazzled.

Listen to the inner voice. See what pronouncements come up for you. See how they come to fruition. (Please share your stories with me!)

As we enter the holiday season when the pace picks up even more, take a breather every day. Relax. Be. Quit thinking so darn much.

I think you’re gonna like it.