Kelly Epperson's Blog, page 5

No Experience Necessary

Working with my clients, individually and in my group programs, I see a recurring theme. Not in their work; in their occasional self doubt. It’s a basic case of “I’ve never done this before.”

Somehow, we often assume that because we have not done something before, we may not be good at it. We learn as we go, in ALL things. And most of the time, we are pretty darn good.

Many things we do in life do not come with a guide. I had no experience in being a homeowner when I was a young twenty-something, but I signed the mortgage papers anyway. We learned how to take care of our house, and how to do it better as we went.

What about parenting? Who really knows how to be a mama until that baby is placed in your arms? Every step of the way, you learn as you do.

I didn’t know how to be married until I jumped in. I sure as heck didn’t know how to be divorced until I was. And the remarriage thing? Yep, no experience there. And it’s mighty wonderful.

I had no experience as an empty nester. I had no experience as an employee until that first job at Mister Donut. I had no experience as a business owner until a few years ago.

I had no experience as an author until I wrote a book. Now I have written plenty.

The real issue is not so much lack of experience in writing. The heart of the matter is the bigger purpose that comes forth in the process of writing a book. Putting oneself out there in a new way, a bigger way, is the real reason hearts go aflutter.

I love that I get to be guide on this journey. I provide strategy and just as importantly, encouragement. As the encourager, I call on my clients to use their courage. The root of courage is the Middle Englsih corage, from the Latin root word cor, meaning heart.

When writing a book, you are sharing your heart. Whether your topic is your spiritual journey or how to be better in business, you are sharing your heart. That’s what make people want to circle the wagons and stop writing. That’s why procrastination shows up. That’s why a million other things beg for your time.

Sharing our hearts is not something we are taught to do. We are taught to guard our hearts.

The advice I give clients over and over is what I give you today:

Don’t hold back.

Get personal.

Let your real self out.

Writing a book is about so much more than the book. It’s about you, it’s about how you connect with your people – your readers, your clients, your tribe.

Write from your heart. If you are writing a book on gardening or your life as a female prison guard or how to build a gondola, I want your passion and personality to ooze out. Let the reader connect. That’s how you help, that’s how you step into your bigger purpose.

It’s all about engaging your audience and that is sparked from the heart. Let your guard down. Just be you. Don’t worry that you are getting too personal. If that is the case, editing can fix that before you go to publication.

Your assignment:

Just write. No censor. No critic. Let your reader see you and engage with you. Share your story, your information, whatever you have to say.

You may not have experience as an author yet. Pretty soon you will. Start writing now.

Shark Tank

At my business mastermind meeting this week, I had the opportunity to apply to be on Shark Tank. Not the actual television show; a crafted version for this live group event. I filled out the application as an exercise in clarity and messaging. In a room of 150 entrepreneurs, it was a thrill to be chosen as one of the three to compete for the investment prize.

Truthfully, my initial reaction was more like fear and trepidation. Holy expletive. I have to take the stage and pitch why the panel of judges should invest in my business.

This was a training exercise for the entire group, not a real investment venture, however the chance to showcase my business for the mentor panel and the audience was a gift and much appreciated.

I didn’t win the $500 prize (note to self: Bring the judges wine, be uber prepared to the extreme, and know my numbers inside and out, upside down, backwards and forwards and in hieroglyphics). It wasn’t about the prize money. It was a teaching event for the whole group and the token prize money was a wonderful kudos to our very deserving winner, a winery owner from Oregon. The real prize was to get the feedback from the panel of judges to make my presentation skills and my biz better.

What I want to share with you is not about that exactly. It is what happened after I got off stage. Nearly everyone who congratulated me for how well I did, how brave I was, commended me for having the guts to take the stage and be vulnerable like that.

“I didn’t even turn my application” was what many said.

They didn’t even throw their hat in the ring. Or tank.

When I filled my app out, it was primarily to be a lesson for me to determine how well I know my stuff. That application was a great tool. To be chosen was an honor because we were selected for writing strong clear content. We were also chosen because they knew we three would be able to take the stage and not turn into pure chum for the sharks. “We know you won’t fall apart up there” was the vote of confidence.

Earlier that day, there had been a conversation on how opportunities come up, often suddenly, and you take them. Even when you feel you are not quite ready. Even when it is scary. Even when it is new territory.

That is how you grow. That is how your business grows. More importantly, that is how your confidence grows.

I did something that made me nervous. I will do better next time. I know that only because I did it this time.

Do you get that?

Preparing a 3-minute presentation on Birth That Book led me to deeper insight on how to succinctly convey what I do and why I do it. Every time we do something we are able to do it better. If I could take the stage today, I think I would win.

But it’s not about winning. It’s about the growth. It’s about clarity. It’s about confidence. We gain confidence in the doing. If you never try, you will never know how you can pull it off, and how you can improve.

When opportunities come along, put your name in the hat. Say yes. Be willing to look less than stellar in front of others. Just be you. The more you do it, the easier it gets. Even if it still is a bit scary.

You may not always “win,” but you earn the respect of your peers. You give them a boost to give it a shot themselves next time because you lived to tell. One gal complimented me: “You were so great at showing me what not to do. I really learned a lot.”

Yes, that amuses me. But it’s true that we learn all the time, in all ways. And we learn the best by doing. Take imperfect action. It always leads you to the next good thing.

What opportunity has scared you that now you are you willing to give it a go?

Here’s to you! Getting braver every day.

Don’t Settle

The only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work, and the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking, and don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking, don’t settle.” - Steve Jobs

Don’t settle.

A two-word blog post. It makes my point. I’m done. Well, okay, I will expound a bit.

Don’t settle. If you feel less than satisfied in your career, your relationships, your life, ask yourself where you are settling.

We all do it. We are taught to settle. We are told to not get our hopes so we don’t get disappointed. We are trained to accept “good enough.” We are programmed to accept mediocre average.

Don’t mistake my point. I am not talking about perfectionism. You know that. You know I am talking about all the times you let a part of your heart sigh “oh well” because you tell yourself that you should be content with x, y, or z.

If I would have listened to conventional wisdom, I would have settled and stayed with the government job that gave me a secure paycheck and benefits. Yet I wanted a career that excited me.

I would have stayed with the man who admitted he didn’t “get” me but he “accepted” me. Yet I wanted someone who understood me and was enchanted by me.

I would never have had the adventures I have had if I had taken the path of settling. I would not have a had a year in France. I would not have learned singing bowls. I would not I would not have met the amazing people I meet all the time now.

If you are feeling unsettled it is probably because you have settled, in some area or aspect of your life.

Many people stay put because the alternative – the unknown – seems scary. Isn’t the future of the known – feeling blah and quagmired in stuckness – worse?

If you are not where you want to be, keep going. If you have not found it yet, keep looking, and don’t settle. As Steve Jobs said, it’s a matter of the heart and you will know when you find it.

The deep inner voice within you will never steer you wrong. If it says to write that book, sing that song, make that sculpture, take that trip, pack up your belongings and move across the country, leave that fella, kiss that girl, take take job, leave that job, write poetry, paint your house a soft lilac, do not settle.

Conventional wisdom is not all that wise. The true wisdom lies within you. Tap into it. Listen to it. Act on it.

You will never regret it.

Don’t settle. Keep going, and do not settle.

++++++++++++++

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What Did You Do on Your Summer Vacation?

Do teachers still assign the homework essay of “What I did over summer vacation?” Did they ever make students do this? I don’t recall writing about my summer adventures as a kid.

I am not sure how long of an essay I would have written back then. It would depend upon my age. There were many summers I remember riding my bike everywhere, sometimes places I was not supposed to. Sorry Mom, I did ride my bike on Harlem Road by Jeannie’s house and we did ride our bikes to the crazy “farm” that used to be on Nimtz Road with all the non-farm animals.

Most of the time, my friends and I rode to each other houses, past boys’ houses, and to get a Slurpee at the 7-11. Summers consisted of boy watching, books, and sunbathing. Depending on the era of my memories, there were days of sitting in the apple tree, playing Barbies on a blanket in the yard, or reading Tiger Beat magazine.

We would hang in the neighborhood, playing whiffle ball by day and Ghosts in the Graveyard by night. There would be one week out of the summer that my parents piled us into the car for a family vacation.

This summer has been a whirlwind of small adventures. Prince Charming is good at making sure that this girl is not all work and won’t become a dull boy. Or something like that.

This has been a summer of gardens. Ours, certainly. This place is morphing into a lovely respite, prettier than any restaurant patio in town. I don’t want to cook, but I enjoy the ambiance we have at home.

We have toured several botanical gardens, admiring, appreciating, and garnering ideas for our own zen garden. We have also enjoyed music in the gardens, locally and in Chicago. Something about live music among trees and stars carries a bit of summer magic.

The bar across the river from our house has live bands and the wind carries the tunes to our patio so we also have music in the gardens at home every weekend. Usually it’s just the right volume for a pleasant listen and most of the time, the bands are not too terrible.

We delight in the various critters that populate this place and they seem to tolerate us okay. My summer days are usually started with a walk outside to water and to watch the wildlife.

The squirrels and the chipmunks have been crazy busy lately so summer is not going to last forever. Leaves are already starting to fall. So my husband and I get out the bikes and go for jaunt. I show him where I used to ride as a kid and tell him of my school girl crushes. We don’t stop for an Icee, but we do grab a twist cone.

We have been traveling so much that we purposely did not plan a vacation trip for this summer. I just wanted to enjoy home.

What would you write in your summer adventures essay? Did you have simple fun? Did you take a dreamed of vacation?

Did you get a slushee?

We have used the summer to catch up on movies. We have a lot of catching up to do since Prince Charming did not watch movies for most of his life. We viewed Wizard of Oz recently (yes, his first time) and we agree with Dorothy.

For us, this summer, there’s no place like home.

(Kelly Epperson Simmons grew up in Loves Park, city with a heart. Kelly is now an author/speaker/book coach and founder of Happiness Club of Loves Park. To hire Kelly as a coach or to speak for your group, call toll free 888-637-3563 or write info@kellyepperson.com.)

Photo Credit: Flickr

What did you do on your summer vacation?

Do teachers still assign the homework essay of “What I did over summer vacation?” Did they ever make students do this? I don’t recall writing about my summer adventures as a kid.

I am not sure how long of an essay I would have written back then. It would depend upon my age. There were many summers I remember riding my bike everywhere, sometimes places I was not supposed to. Sorry Mom, I did ride my bike on Harlem Road by Jeannie’s house and we did ride our bikes to the crazy “farm” that used to be on Nimtz Road with all the non-farm animals.

Most of the time, my friends and I rode to each other houses, past boys’ houses, and to get a Slurpee at the 7-11. Summers consisted of boy watching, books, and sunbathing. Depending on the era of my memories, there were days of sitting in the apple tree, playing Barbies on a blanket in the yard, or reading Tiger Beat magazine.

We would hang in the neighborhood, playing whiffle ball by day and Ghosts in the Graveyard by night. There would be one week out of the summer that my parents piled us into the car for a family vacation.

This summer has been a whirlwind of small adventures. Prince Charming is good at making sure that this girl is not all work and won’t become a dull boy. Or something like that.

This has been a summer of gardens. Ours, certainly. This place is morphing into a lovely respite, prettier than any restaurant patio in town. I don’t want to cook, but I enjoy the ambiance we have at home.

We have toured several botanical gardens, admiring, appreciating, and garnering ideas for our own zen garden. We have also enjoyed music in the gardens, locally and in Chicago. Something about live music among trees and stars carries a bit of summer magic.

The bar across the river from our house has live bands and the wind carries the tunes to our patio so we also have music in the gardens at home every weekend. Usually it’s just the right volume for a pleasant listen and most of the time, the bands are not too terrible.

We delight in the various critters that populate this place and they seem to tolerate us okay. My summer days are usually started with a walk outside to water and to watch the wildlife.

The squirrels and the chipmunks have been crazy busy lately so summer is not going to last forever. Leaves are already starting to fall. So my husband and I get out the bikes and go for jaunt. I show him where I used to ride as a kid and tell him of my school girl crushes. We don’t stop for an Icee, but we do grab a twist cone.

We have been traveling so much that we purposely did not plan a vacation trip for this summer. I just wanted to enjoy home.

What would you write in your summer adventures essay? Did you have simple fun? Did you take a dreamed of vacation? Did you get a slushee?

We have used the summer to catch up on movies. We have a lot of catching up to do since Prince Charming did not watch movies for most of his life. We viewed Wizard of Oz recently (yes, his first time) and we agree with Dorothy.

For us, this summer, there’s no place like home.

(Kelly Epperson Simmons grew up in Loves Park, city with a heart. Kelly is now an author/speaker/book coach and founder of Happiness Club of Loves Park. To hire Kelly as a coach or to speak for your group, call toll free 888-637-3563 or write info@kellyepperson.com.)

Pondering Cake and Mysteries as Another Birthday Approaches

What I’ve learned so far in my forty-some years is that I will continually be amazed by all I don’t know.

Some years I get reflective as my birthday draws near and some years I just want to eat cake. This is an eat cake year. Except for this moment, I am pondering life and all its mysteries.

I will never know where we came from, why, and where we go after we leave this plane. I have flickers of insight and I think perhaps I will be The One who gets the divine download and all the answers. So far, I still have just as many questions as the next guy.

What I do know is that we have a lot more control over our circumstances than we think. My reality is pretty much up to me. Life does not happen TO me, life happens for me and through me. What I bring to the situation is the most determining factor of what I will get out of the situation.

All the talk about attitude and mental mindset is pretty spot on. The key is to be constantly feeding our self with stuff that keeps in that good attitude and mindset.

My first home office was filled with sillies and pretties. Everywhere I looked, something made me smile. A photo of my boys, an old 45 mounted on the wall, a bulletin board full of whimsy. The next office was a bit more office-y, but Prince Charming and I painted it and threw glitter over one wall.

The current home office was set up to be business and professional, cuz I am a “serious” entrepreneur now. Nah. I have discovered that feeding my soul with pretties and sillies is how I best operate, and my biz flourishes when I am NOT all business.

I guess what I have learned in my nearly 50 years (next year is gonna be a BIG party!) is that life is a lot of trial and error. We are ALWAYS learning as we go. We try something, we tweak, and we keep or discard.

The path keeps winding and new discoveries are always around the bend. I have traveled, lived and loved, and love bigger and deeper than ever imagined. I’m glad I lived this long to know love like this exists.

I like foods now that I never did before. I gave up things (Coke) that I never thought I would. The girl who avoided speech class in college is now thrilled to be a keynote speaker. I’m still flat chested, still get pimples, still cover my grays.

Books still thrill me. Music moves me. Movies delight me. I keep meeting cool people doing cool things in the world and my hopeful nature expands every day.

There is so much I don’t know. I don’t know the “stars” of reality television and I don’t care. Pop culture is rolling around without me, and that’s fine with me. A true sign of aging. My smartphone reminds me of that every day. What I know of technology is just enough to know that I know very little.

With every new exciting and wonderful thing I discover, it alerts me that there is much I don’t know. Understanding that is wisdom.

I will never have all the answers. The signs on my desk tell me to live with passion and to enjoy life. That’s enough for me, at any age. Now, let’s have some cake.

(Kelly Epperson is author/speaker/coach who knows she doesn’t know it all. Kelly’s clients write their books, live their joy, and eat cake. Programs starting now. www.kellyepperson.com)

Photo Credit: Flickr

As another birthday approaches, I ponder cake and mysteries

What I’ve learned so far in my forty-some years is that I will continually be amazed by all I don’t know.

Some years I get reflective as my birthday draws near and some years I just want to eat cake. This is an eat cake year. Except for this moment, I am pondering life and all its mysteries.

I will never know where we came from, why, and where we go after we leave this plane. I have flickers of insight and I think perhaps I will be The One who gets the divine download and all the answers. So far, I still have just as many questions as the next guy.

What I do know is that we have a lot more control over our circumstances than we think. My reality is pretty much up to me. Life does not happen TO me, life happens for me and through me. What I bring to the situation is the most determining factor of what I will get out of the situation.

All the talk about attitude and mental mindset is pretty spot on. The key is to be constantly feeding our self with stuff that keeps in that good attitude and mindset.

My first home office was filled with sillies and pretties. Everywhere I looked, something made me smile. A photo of my boys, an old 45 mounted on the wall, a bulletin board full of whimsy. The next office was a bit more office-y, but Prince Charming and I painted it and threw glitter over one wall.

The current home office was set up to be business and professional, cuz I am a “serious” entrepreneur now. Nah. I have discovered that feeding my soul with pretties and sillies is how I best operate, and my biz flourishes when I am NOT all business.

I guess what I have learned in my nearly 50 years (next year is gonna be a BIG party!) is that life is a lot of trial and error. We are ALWAYS learning as we go. We try something, we tweak, and we keep or discard.

The path keeps winding and new discoveries are always around the bend. I have traveled, lived and loved, and love bigger and deeper than ever imagined. I’m glad I lived this long to know love like this exists.

I like foods now that I never did before. I gave up things (Coke) that I never thought I would. The girl who avoided speech class in college is now thrilled to be a keynote speaker. I’m still flat chested, still get pimples, still cover my grays.

Books still thrill me. Music moves me. Movies delight me. I keep meeting cool people doing cool things in the world and my hopeful nature expands every day.

There is so much I don’t know. I don’t know the “stars” of reality television and I don’t care. Pop culture is rolling around without me, and that’s fine with me. A true sign of aging. My smartphone reminds me of that every day. What I know of technology is just enough to know that I know very little.

With every new exciting and wonderful thing I discover, it alerts me that there is much I don’t know. Understanding that is wisdom.

I will never have all the answers. The signs on my desk tell me to live with passion and to enjoy life. That’s enough for me, at any age. Now, let’s have some cake.

(Kelly Epperson is author/speaker/coach who knows she doesn’t know it all. Kelly’s clients write their books, live their joy, and eat cake. Programs starting now. www.kellyepperson.com)

Worrying Takes Up Time and Energy

I was a nervous little girl the night before I started first grade. I broke out in hives worrying “What if I am not able to learn how to read?!” That shows ridiculous worrying is. Reading and writing is my business and my great joy.

It amuses me, and pains me, that I could be such a worrier at such a young age. Maybe that’s why I teach happiness now. We all teach what it is we most want to embody or wish we would have known when we were younger.

You go through it and then you teach it. Weight loss coaches are the one who have shed the pounds. Business coaches are the ones who have made six or seven figures in their business. Happiness coaches (I doubt I am the only one) are those who have learned how to get their happy on.

We spend a lot of time worrying. Make a list right now of what worries you have on your mind. Think of what you were troubled with yesterday.  What about five days ago? What about five years ago? Did any of it come to be?

Most of what we worry about never comes around. We spend a ton (or more) of energy focused on stuff to worry about. That energy could be better spent elsewhere.

When you taught your kids to ride a bike, and they got the hang of it and peddled off down the sidewalk without you hanging on to the back of the seat, did you send them off full of worry? Were you tensed up thinking, oh dear, Jimmy is going to fall and scrape his knees? Or did you beam with pride and clap your hands in excitement?

Some parents overflow with worry when their offspring take off in a car for the first time. It’s a rite of passage certainly, but to be consumed with worry is a waste of energy. Instead of worrying about “what could happen” shift the focus to the relief of not having to cart kids all over town day and night, the joy of being able to send your kids off to get a gallon of milk or pick up brother after practice.

The freedom of having more drivers in the house outweighs the worry. Both my sons had the requisite teenage boy accident. No injuries, no tickets, no worries.

There are a million examples of what we worry about. That’s why I said to write a list of everything you are worried about right now. Does some of it seem silly when you look at in black and white?

Many moms confuse worry with love. We can be concerned and compassionate and fully devoted to the well being of our loved ones. That does not mean wringing your hands worrying if Ava will get into the college of her choice. Especially is Ava is still in preschool.

Dan Zadra says worry is a misuse of imagination. When you catch yourself worrying, play the What If UP game. Instead of floundering and flailing in the woes of what ifs, switch it to What If UP. What if Ava does get into her college. What if Ava does become a rocket scientist. What if Ava does invent new technology and saves the world from space aliens.

When worry strikes, follow it through with the opposite of whatever/wherever your negative thoughts were taking you. If you have a grandson who is in trouble, what if he met a counselor who he connected with. What if he got an afterschool job with a caring mentor. What if he stopped hanging with the rough crowd and spent more time learning this new job. What if he eventually graduated and went to work with this man. What if he too later on took in troubled youth and gave them focus.

Our brains might keep springing up with worry thoughts. Recognize them for what they are, and replace them what What If UP thoughts. See how much better you feel. Write me what works for you.

(Kelly Epperson is an author/speaker/coach. Kelly’s programs help clients live the habits of happy people. Less stress, more joy. Class starts soon. www.kellyepperson.com)

Photo Credit: Flickr

Worrying takes up time and energy, gets you nowhere

I was a nervous little girl the night before I started first grade. I broke out in hives worrying “What if I am not able to learn how to read?!” That shows ridiculous worrying is. Reading and writing is my business and my great joy.

It amuses me, and pains me, that I could be such a worrier at such a young age. Maybe that’s why I teach happiness now. We all teach what it is we most want to embody or wish we would have known when we were younger.

You go through it and then you teach it. Weight loss coaches are the one who have shed the pounds. Business coaches are the ones who have made six or seven figures in their business. Happiness coaches (I doubt I am the only one) are those who have learned how to get their happy on.

We spend a lot of time worrying. Make a list right now of what worries you have on your mind. Think of what you were troubled with yesterday. What about five days ago? What about five years ago? Did any of it come to be?

Most of what we worry about never comes around. We spend a ton (or more) of energy focused on stuff to worry about. That energy could be better spent elsewhere.

When you taught your kids to ride a bike, and they got the hang of it and peddled off down the sidewalk without you hanging on to the back of the seat, did you send them off full of worry? Were you tensed up thinking, oh dear, Jimmy is going to fall and scrape his knees? Or did you beam with pride and clap your hands in excitement?

Some parents overflow with worry when their offspring take off in a car for the first time. It’s a rite of passage certainly, but to be consumed with worry is a waste of energy. Instead of worrying about “what could happen” shift the focus to the relief of not having to cart kids all over town day and night, the joy of being able to send your kids off to get a gallon of milk or pick up brother after practice.

The freedom of having more drivers in the house outweighs the worry. Both my sons had the requisite teenage boy accident. No injuries, no tickets, no worries.

There are a million examples of what we worry about. That’s why I said to write a list of everything you are worried about right now. Does some of it seem silly when you look at in black and white?

Many moms confuse worry with love. We can be concerned and compassionate and fully devoted to the well being of our loved ones. That does not mean wringing your hands worrying if Ava will get into the college of her choice. Especially is Ava is still in preschool.

Dan Zadra says worry is a misuse of imagination. When you catch yourself worrying, play the What If UP game. Instead of floundering and flailing in the woes of what ifs, switch it to What If UP. What if Ava does get into her college. What if Ava does become a rocket scientist. What if Ava does invent new technology and saves the world from space aliens.

When worry strikes, follow it through with the opposite of whatever/wherever your negative thoughts were taking you. If you have a grandson who is in trouble, what if he met a counselor who he connected with. What if he got an afterschool job with a caring mentor. What if he stopped hanging with the rough crowd and spent more time learning this new job. What if he eventually graduated and went to work with this man. What if he too later on took in troubled youth and gave them focus.

Our brains might keep springing up with worry thoughts. Recognize them for what they are, and replace them what What If UP thoughts. See how much better you feel. Write me what works for you.

(Kelly Epperson is an author/speaker/coach. Kelly’s programs help clients live the habits of happy people. Less stress, more joy. Class starts soon. www.kellyepperson.com)

Baby Steps

You may know that I am a baby stepper. You may also know that a person can travel quite well taking baby steps.

We know all the proverbs. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.

Something about a tortoise.

I used to beat myself up for being a baby stepper. I chided myself for being a chicken shit and not just leaping. And when I look back, I see have made some leaps of faith, even if I inched up to the edge, baby stepping, before I took a leap.

Before I left my secure government job at the IRS, I took vacation days to try out my new gig of teaching English as a Second Language. I didn’t just leap. I tested the waters.

Before I left my secure 20-year marriage, I spent several years trying to make it right. Even when within me, I knew it was the answer, I didn’t just bolt into divorce. I mourned the end of the marriage long before it was officially over and then baby stepped into the unknown.

And even when I found my Prince Charming, I baby stepped there too.

There are times when I leap. Move to France? Hell yeah, that was one time I didn’t baby step. Buy a house? I have had at least eight. Get my hair cut off. Done that without a blink.

Yet I know many people have to ease into things. They cut an inch cut off their long tresses before they go back for a short bob. When faced with a new course of action, they ponder possibilities and weigh their options. Leap or baby step, both have a time and a place.

Don’t confuse baby steps with inertia. You gotta keep moving. Just don’t compare yourself. I no longer judge others. And I no longer judge me. If someone is leaping into new business ventures and I am still trying to figure out my next step, so be it.

Sometimes a gentle nudge is okay. If someone is spinning their wheels, I can help them in their process. I want all the baby steppers to feel confirmed and I also want to remind them that baby steps are forward movement.

Standing still is not the same. Spinning around in doubt is not the same. Forward movement, even if a baby step, is accomplishment, and from that we gain momentum.

I used to get frustrated with all the people who would tell me their book writing woes. They stated how much they wanted to write a book and yet did nothing. Instead of thumping on them forehead, now I encourage them to take baby steps. Sure, some people can write a book in a week. Some may take a few months longer. As long as you are moving forward, that is key.

I cheer baby steps. I work with people who can now relish their pace, because they see another page is written, another chapter is complete. Momentum. Baby steps. Accomplishment.

So don’t beat yourself up if you have stopped and stalled. The reasons are deeper than “I don’t have time” and when we bust through that, baby steps get the job done. Sometimes, leaping is even involved.

No matter your obstacle, you can overcome. Keep going, get the support you need. In the clever words of George Carlin: If you step on the brakes, your life is in your foot’s hands.

If you ever watched the Christmas shows when you were a kid, you may recall the song about putting one foot in front of the other. That’s all you have to do. The smallest step in the right direction often ends up being the biggest step in your life.

Tip toe your way there. Take the step. Let your dreams come true. Baby steps can get you there.

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You can baby step your way into a book.

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