Kelly Epperson's Blog, page 2

Can You Imagine Your Life Five Years From Now?

That’s a standard interview question: “Where do you see yourself in five years?” I get it. Having long term career plans is a good thing. The self help gurus also ask similar questions and tell you to visualize your life in the future and be specific in the details.

I understand that too. I believe in manifestation and we get we think about, etc. I also have a hard time visualizing five years down the road. Five years ago, I didn’t know my Prince Charming. Five years ago, I had no idea I would be a book coach. Five years ago, I didn’t know I would be enchanted daily living among turkeys and woodsy critters.

So I do not pose that question to you. I make it easier: How do you envision the upcoming year? What do you want for yourself? That is a little easier to grasp.

I can think ahead and look at 2014 and make some plans, some dreams, and some what ifs. I know that dreams come true when you take action and work to make it happen. I know that I can grow my business with proper strategy and lots of effort. I know that we can make our backyard as stunning and peaceful as what we have done with the rest of the place. I know I can grow deeper and deeper in love with my man.

Ask me where we will be five years from now and that is a foggy mystery. Five years from now, both my sons will be out of college. Five years from now, one or more of our boys could take a bride. Five years from now, we could be living in the mountains or Paris or some place I have never heard of yet. Or we could still be here with the squirrels and chipmunks.

I don’t think we need to put emphasis on the five year plan. Sometimes the five day plan is enough.

How do you want the next five days to turn out? Maybe you want to resolve a squabble with someone at work. Maybe you want to exercise two days. Maybe you want to take in a movie.

That’s all doable. So do it.

Now look at the next five days. What do you desire? Perhaps you want to de-clutter your closet. Perhaps you want to bake cookies. Perhaps you want to get a massage. Schedule those items and feel the glory of accomplishment.

Goals can happen in five day chunks.

When you look at the year ahead, what do you truly want for yourself? More time at home? More fun with your spouse? More silly play with the kids? Do it by making it happen, one week at a time.

Learn to look at the days ahead and be deliberate. Learn to say no to the obligations so you can have time for the joys. What really matters to you? Do you get enough of that in your life?

If you love to write, make time in the next five days to write. Maybe it’s a letter to a friend or a poem. If you want to incorporate more fresh air into your day, make a point to get outside on your lunch break, even if it means talking a walk alone. Alone time can be a wonderful thing. Or maybe a co-worker will join you and a real friendship can occur.

Be open to the possibilities. Don’t plan out every detail, just make a plan to let the good stuff happen. And five years from now, you will be glad you did.

Photo Credit: Flickr

What’s In a Name?

Shakespeare said, “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” Yes. Juliet makes the point that names don’t matter, only what things are. True. Bill Nye the Science Guy says that a kilogram by any other name would still weigh as much.

Names do matter though when it comes to your baby, your book or your biz. I get comments often that people like the name Birth That Book. It’s clear and to the point. I help you birth that book. Conceive, create, deliver. It’s a joy.

It’s fun to see my clients play with names for their books. In general, a title is short and snappy, something to engage or grab attention. The subtitle can give more explanation as to what the book is about.

What has been most interesting is that some folks have really great titles but they think they should go with something else so they give me a different working title. As we go through the discovery process with my probing questions and deep listening, the confession comes up and they announce their title.

“That’s perfect! I love it!” is my response. “Go grab that domain right now!”

“Well, I’ve had it for years” is often the reply.

It can be funny when I tell them that the name is so great it has to be already taken, and they admit it is because they own it.

Something in you knows what you want to give your attention to, enough so that you bought the domain name. So embrace your brilliance! Trust your own wisdom.

If you’re super freaky, be the poster child for it. If you are prim and prudence personified, be that big and bold. Be you, trust you, and share you.

And buy the domain name.

You may not use it immediately, yet it’s great to know you have it in your back pocket when it comes time to name your business, your book, or your program. It’s exciting. It’s fun. It’s rewarding and confirming.

If the idea is in you, the bringing it to fruition is in you too.

Make a small investment in yourself. Buy the domain name of your own name (www.kellyepperson.com) and any other titles that make your soul sing. I have some in storage that are still waiting to be birthed. When those projects come to be, I will be so glad I invested the twelve bucks to have the name.

A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet, but a title with the name you love is very sweet indeed.

Photo Credit: Sxc.hu

What’s in a name?

Shakespeare said, “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” Yes. Juliet makes the point that names don’t matter, only what things are. True. Bill Nye the Science Guy says that a kilogram by any other name would still weigh as much.

Names do matter though when it comes to your baby, your book or your biz. I get comments often that people like the name Birth That Book. It’s clear and to the point. I help you birth that book. Conceive, create, deliver. It’s a joy.

It’s fun to see my clients play with names for their books. In general, a title is short and snappy, something to engage or grab attention. The subtitle can give more explanation as to what the book is about.

What has been most interesting is that some folks have really great titles but they think they should go with something else so they give me a different working title. As we go through the discovery process with my probing questions and deep listening, the confession comes up and they announce their title.

“That’s perfect! I love it!” is my response. “Go grab that domain right now!”

“Well, I’ve had it for years” is often the reply.

It can be funny when I tell them that the name is so great it has to be already taken, and they admit it is because they own it.

Something in you knows what you want to give your attention to, enough so that you bought the domain name. So embrace your brilliance! Trust your own wisdom.

If you’re super freaky, be the poster child for it. If you are prim and prudence personified, be that big and bold. Be you, trust you, and share you.

And buy the domain name.

You may not use it immediately, yet it’s great to know you have it in your back pocket when it comes time to name your business, your book, or your program. It’s exciting. It’s fun. It’s rewarding and confirming.

If the idea is in you, the bringing it to fruition is in you too.

Make a small investment in yourself. Buy the domain name of your own name (www.kellyepperson.com) and any other titles that make your soul sing. I have some in storage that are still waiting to be birthed. When those projects come to be, I will be so glad I invested the twelve bucks to have the name.

A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet, but a title with the name you love is very sweet indeed.

 

 

What’s Your Hair Color and How Long Has It Been That Way?

Oh, to be a redhead. Fiery. Sensual. Adventurous. Fill in your own blank here. Oh, to be a blonde. Lots of connotations there. What about brunettes? Not as much comes to mind as a generalization there.

I consider myself a brunette. I had dark hair with hints of reddish highlights that showed in the sun. If asked my hair color, I replied dark brown. When my younger son was little, he said I had black hair. It was pretty dark. Now when people call me a redhead it always catches me off guard.

My hair color these days comes from a box. 5RB medium reddish brown. I thought it was the closest to my natural color, but obviously not. It’s lighter and has more red. I love it and get tons of compliments so I’ve been 5RB for years now.

I occasionally get my color done at the salon so maybe sometimes it comes out differently, but I still see medium reddish brown. Others just see red.

It makes an impression on me because people make comments assuming I am this or that or the other thing because I’m a redhead. I laugh inside because no one made such statements to me for thirtysome years. Redhead is in the eye of the beholder. Or in the box.

It has given me insight on a very small scale of what blondes must experience. People make assumptions all the time, based on hair color.

How we classify people amuses me sometimes and perplexes me. If I let my hair go natural, it would be quite different. There’s plenty of gray amid the dark roots and some dazzling gorgeous silver strands before I color over it. I am fascinated as I study my hair and contemplate letting it go gray.

I realize I still care what society thinks and I keep coloring. If I were to let it go gray, I would look “old” and I wonder when I will ever embrace that. Still in my 40s (for just one more year), I don’t feel ready to be gray, yet that is what my hair really would be. Why do I resist?

Why should I care? If indeed it were to grow out and be a vibrant pretty silver (my mom’s hair is stunning), why do I continue the illusion? I am not a redhead. I am a brunette by birth. And now I would be a silver head.

The temptation to see what the natural growth would look like versus the need to look “younger” gets stronger all the time. I joke that if I could stay out of the public eye for six months, I would grow it out to see how I liked it. Why should I care what others see? Interesting, isn’t it?

I know some men who color their hair so this is not just a female dilemma. I know some women reach a point where they accept their gray, and some color it until they die. The jury is still out with me.

As I approach the big 5-0, (end of this year), lots of thoughts of love, life and acceptance run through my head. My red head. If I do go gray, I wonder what kind of assumptions people will make. I wonder why I care.

Ladies, I would love to hear from you. Write me at kelly@kellyepperson.com. Here’s to hair, in all colors!

Photo Credit: Flickr

Not Ready is Just Fine

We tend to want to wait until we are “ready” to do something. To do anything.

We spend a lot of time “getting ready.” Truth is, we rarely allow ourselves to be deemed ready and we stay stuck in a holding pattern.

My advice, based on my own experience, is to do things anyway. Not ready? That’s okay. Give it a go. You’ll find out that you do okay and you learn a ton too. You create more opportunities by doing stuff before you feel ready.

Was I “ready” to an event in NYC? Gulp. I’ll just wait a year. Or two. Yet here I am with one under my belt.

Was I “ready” to submit a proposal to powerhouses Suzanne Evans and Larry Winget yet I did and I was hired to be their Book Coach for their Hell Yeah Star program.

Ready is not just for professional endeavors. I didn’t think I was ready to fall in love again and had a timetable for myself after my divorce. I had a lot of baggage around being ready.

If I would have waited until I was “ready” for love, I would have missed out on the most amazing experience of my life. I was joyously remarried before my self-imposed “ready” scale said it was time. I can’t imagine my life if I would have blown this, waiting to be “ready” to date again.

We hold ourselves back trying to protect ourselves. From hurt, embarrassment or any number of fears. When we can take a deep breath and plunge in anyway, we see that our worries were blown out of proportion.

I meet people all the time who are doing that dance with themselves. I’m here to tell you, no one has ever died from looking like a fool. Now I think I am fool not to jump in, whether I feel ready or not.

This is not reckless abandon. You know what I mean.

“Oh, I am not ready to talk to anyone yet about what I do; gotta get a website/biz cards/gumption.”

“When I’m ready to write my book, I know you are the one I want to work with. I just gotta get ready.”

“Fill in the blank here…..I’m getting ready to x, y, z.”

If you wait until you are “ready,” you may stay right where you are, wondering and wishing and wringing your hands.

Yes, there is strategy and timing to be considered in business. For some, it may not be the right time to do certain things. For many, it is. They just won’t pull the trigger and allow themselves to do something a bit out of the comfort zone. Even writing a book is something people give the excuse of “gotta get ready.”

This isn’t like operating on someone’s brain before you have finished med school. In that case, you may not be ready. I also know from watching Grey’s Anatomy that you just might be ready despite certification.

So if you are stopping yourself because you say you are not ready, I say poppycock. Let go of that excuse and get down to what is really holding you back. There’s a fear in there, big or small. Step into that. That is where the growth is. That is where the love grows.

Take a few good really deep breaths. Plant a smile on your face. Say it with me: Ready or not, here I come!

Photo Credit: Pinterest

For 2014, I Resolve To Not Resolve!

Ah, another new year begins. We resolve to do this and be that and stop doing that other thing. Bah humbug.

Take it easy on yourself this new year. Let go of New Year’s Resolutions once and for all. Instead, promise yourself that you will really honestly and truly enjoy life more. Instead of posting a sticky note that says “I will lose ten pounds” or  “I will get in shape” or whatever generic resolution is most common, simply state “I enjoy life more.”

See how your 2014 goes.

When faced with a choice, the promise to enjoy life more will start to bubble up and influence your decisions. Determining your weekend plans can start with this measuring stick.

Maybe you are invited to go to Chicago with friends. You really don’t want to yet you normally would have went along because that is what you do. You instead would have enjoyed it more to stay home and have a little down time catching up on reading that juicy novel and coloring your hair and painting your nails. You crave a little “you time” yet you never say no to your friends because you don’t want to be labeled boring.

Now this year, you are choosing based on what YOU enjoy more. So when faced when the invitation, you simply say, “No, thanks, I’ve got plans already. Next time!”

Or on the flip side, you are invited to go to Chicago and you really want to go, yet you never allow yourself any fun and you work all weekends and you run yourself ragged all the time. A weekend in ChiTown sounds divine. The old you would pass and stay home to get things done. This year, you focus on what you enjoy more. You choose Chicago! You have an amazing time and all the chores still get done during the course of the week and you are much happier.

Get it?

Resolve to be kind to yourself. That usually is tougher than it sounds.

Resolve to honor yourself. Resolve to enjoy life more. There are times when I really want to stay home and get things done. It feels so good to be in that accomplishment energy. And there are times when the work can wait and a little fun is exactly what is needed.

Make those decisions based on your internal enjoyment factor. If the word “should” pops up, you need to see it as a red flag. If you say, “I really want to go to the play with you this weekend, but I should stay home and organize my cupboards,” you need to bust out of the “should” bond. Focus on the “I enjoy life more” gauge. That is YOUR call. If you get more enjoyment from organizing the house this weekend, then do it. If you get more enjoyment from going out, then do it.

There will be balance. You will turn into a lazy do-nothing if you choose to have fun. Use this year to experiment with it. See how much fun you can have and see that the world does not collapse around you.

Take it easy on yourself. Get out more if you crave that. Stay home more if you crave that. Your inner joy meter is the guiding barometer. Don’t cave to the word “should” and don’t cave to external pressure of friends, family, or society.

Let this year be one that you play with the notion of more play and fun. I think it will be a good one! Cheers!

Photo Credit: Flickr

Start Conversing

My weekly newspaper column is slice of life, and I have the freedom to write whatever pops in my head. I’ve been doing it since May 2001 before blogging became mainstream. Because it is in print, some of my readers respond in kind. I get cards and notes (and occasional phone calls on my toll free line) in addition to email comments. I love it. That’s why we write, to connect with others.

That’s why you write your newsletter, your blog, your book. To have a conversation with someone else.

That’s why I have my own books, my readers asked for more from me. What do your readers want? You won’t know until you start having them.

If you are in business, or thinking of starting a biz, or thinking of writing a book, you need to start somewhere. Build your readership and your writing chops by starting with a blog and/or a newsletter like this. If you are wanting to find your voice, start now. You can start small and it can be a joyful journey.

I started writing my newsletter long before I knew what my offering was. I simply knew I loved to share uplifting words. The journey continues to morph as life continues to evolve.

You can send a newsletter or start a blog with little or no cost. The average blog post is short, 200-400 words is standard. I usually go long, like my newspaper column at 600 words. This one is just over 300 words.

Give it a whirl. If you need a shot of inspiration and guidance, drop me line. I’ll get you on the right path.

I thank you for reading each week, I thank you for sending people my way, and I thank you for your support and encouragement over the years. Start your new year conversing with the people in your world. Start your blog or newsletter. You will love it! Cheers!

Photo Credit: Sxc.hu

Radio Interview on In Print Radio

Listen to my interview on In Print Radio from Rockford College Radio.  My section starts at 5:18, if you want to skip forward.  Click the link below to listen.

In Print Radio, Ep. 18

 

BlogTalkRadio Interview on Defining Success

In my interview with Pam McCall of Defining Success, you will learn:

How to get your book started
How to get it done
And finally how to get published

 


Current Books Podcasts at Blog Talk Radio with Pam McCall on BlogTalkRadio

BlogTalkRadio Interview on Between the Lines

Check out my recent interview on Between the Lines with Corine La Font of Empowering Authors.

Discover Books Internet Radio with Between The Lines on BlogTalkRadio